#and like yeah sure i could've super-jumped away but also i was like 'whats happening. why do they keep missing' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tuiyla · 2 years

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I don't think I could've dealt with a legit Quinntana ship. They're my two favorite characters, but Quinn was already the Finchel roadblock and seeing her be 2nd choice to another set of endgame soulmates would've broken me. I guess MAYBE if for once she could be allowed to be the one to walk away first with some dignity, instead of the writers making her dig her heels in until she gets dumped? But I don't know, even then it's just hard for me to picture this storyline that doesn't feel like yet another iteration of "Quinn clings to a doomed relationship".

I kind of like that they were allowed to hook up and not have either of them feel hurt or slighted. If I could fix anything with the two of them, I'd just have continued the S4 friendship. And I'd definitely have gotten her to the Brittana wedding. Her absence there bothers me SO MUCH more than her not being in The Quarterback.

That’s totally valid and not something I’ve considered before. But I’ve quite pictured a midgame Quinntana ship as Quinn approaching it like the rest of her relationships, either. In my version, she’s very cautious about it and doesn’t dare get attached because it feels terrifying and maybe too real compared to what she’s experienced before. Also, it’s Santana, not just some boy she could remain casual friends with if things don’t work out. Quinntana have this rather unique “this could be great but also the biggest heartache of my life” vibe to me. I think Quinn especially would be so reluctant. Maybe she would cling to Santana but not in the same way she did to Finn or other guys.

Quinn just wants to be loved, right? Everyone does, but she wants to be wanted and seen for who she is. Imo, Quinntana as friends, as tumultuous as their history is, already have that. So I suppose the desperation would be at a lower level but the stakes feel higher. Sure, what if it’s great, but fuck what if it’s great and what if it doesn’t last despite that. That kind of vibe. So while Santana is more ready to jump into a rebound, Quinn is super reluctant to define them. Tbh, my midgame Quinntana would mostly just make their two-time thing a regular thing so they get the chance to evolve and discuss what happened. Unlike in the show where they never interacted again, rip.

I got another ask about a Quinntana breakup after you sent this so I’ll elaborate more when answering that (hopefully tomorrow) but I’ve always felt that their breakup would be mutual. Maybe not amicable in the classical sense but they would remain Quinn and Santana. And I’d see it as an enriching experience for both. Santana gets to explore a life after Brittany but one that’s still familiar and Quinn gets to live her sexuality with someone she trusts. Despite all the backstabbing, Santana’s the closest thing Quinn could ever have to a safe space in this sense. And the person most likely to understand what she’s going through.

Finchel’s main couple shtick was super tedious but, luckily or not, Brittana never got the same treatment so despite me not trusting the writers I still doubt she would have bene portrayed as that much of a roadblock. God knows Sam wasn’t. Brittana not being treated with the respect they deserved would have been to Quinntana’s advantage here since they would have been allowed to just exist and not in the main couple’s shadow. Imo, anyway. But I mean I still fully support a Brittana endgame so there would have been a breakup somewhere in there lol, just nowhere near the same as the Fuinn car breakup. Omg Santana’s a bitch but she’d never do that.

So yeah I personally wouldn’t imagine it as Quinn continuing her pattern - if anything, an opportunity to break it! But of course I don’t trust the writers to have handled a canon Quinntana midgame well. I just wish we’d gotten anything post-4x14. And my desire for a Quinntana midgame has not so subtly always been about getting more of them in general lol. I totally get what you mean though and I find it interesting to think about what it would have been like. The one-off hookup nature of things is also fun but, again, the fact that they’re dropped afterward makes it frustrating. I don’t even care, Quinn was at the wedding in my eyes. Canon? I don’t know her. She was offscreen chatting with Dr Lopez.

#i finally got to this sorry anon #but yeah i get what you're saying i too want good things for quinn #and make no mistake there would have been heartbreak here #anon #glee asks #quinntana asks #quinntana midgame hc

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markets · 6 months

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hey angie, best friend anon here. yeah i dont mind! sorry if this is a little disjointed i really haven't talked about this before.

so she broke up with me and it wasn't necessarily a messy breakup but i was very overwhelmed when it happened so i didn't say very much and the conversation felt a little unfinished? but we were both emotional about it so we were giving each other space and she had been going through some other personal stuff and posting about it on social media. so i think i reached out just being like 'hey, i know we aren't together anymore but i still care about you, hope you're ok etc. etc.' and we gradually started talking to each other casually again.

before we broke up it was super long phone calls every day sort of thing but we were back down to like a couple of texts. we ran in the same friend circles though and this was while i was in high school, so hard to avoid each other completely anyways.

it definitely took a long time, im not even sure how long exactly, at least a year before we were really good friends and not just casual ones. especially when we had been going everywhere together and doing everything together previously. full honesty, it's rough. it's going to take time and effort to get back anywhere close to how it used to be and in my experience it has to go slow. it's absolutely going to feel awkward at first. i wanted to jump right back to how we were. i wanted the long calls back. i wanted to walk to the park on our lunch breaks again. but i guess more importantly, when i took a step back, i realized what i wanted more than anything was to be there for her. i just wanted her in my life, in whatever capacity i could have, i couldn't imagine giving that up. so i treated it a bit like a friend you knew who had moved away and come back, if that makes sense. and eventually we graduated and our friend groups fell apart and we were the only ones who stuck together. maybe it comes down to commitment? if you want that connection enough and you try your best to maintain it, it does last and get better/stronger over time.

the hardest thing i think was watching her get in other relationships. and not out of jealousy like some people might think but because some of them were really, really shitty people. and the first time that happens it will be like watching any other friend be in a shitty relationship that you can't talk them out of. except you know, quite possibly intimately, that they can do so much better. even better than you and absolutely better than these new people. and she confided a lot in me about her relationships once we were close again. which was also weird sometimes because in some ways you might see a place where you went wrong or where the new person reminds you of yourself and you'll just get this feeling that you're seeing an outsider point of view of your own previous relationship. idk how to describe it. also the first time i walked into her new house after she moved in with her current and longest gf, i felt a bit like being hit by a truck and seeing a possible timeline where that could've been me because we're very similar. but in a way that's a whole story of its own im sure i don't need to go off on. anyways this is extremely long but i hoped that something out of this helped in some way.

anon this kind of gutted me im ngl i was going to log out for the night but aside from the stuff that specifically pertains to your situation at the beginning i literally felt like i was reading something written by my future self if that makes sense. i so completely understand what you mean about wanting to speed past the awkwardness and go back to where you were and just needing to be there for the other person in some way shape or form. the thing about commitment was also reassuring bc one of the reasons i feel so rushed about all this is that i am graduating relatively soon so i dont really have the time to take idk a year off from us (i probably wouldn’t do it even if i could but just a hypothetical) or even a few months and then start building it back up to were we were. but im really committed to making this work even after we all go off to university. also i had just been avoiding thinking about the whole new relationships thing but it was still good to get some perspective on it so yeah thank you so much anon i really do wish you luck with all this

#long post #angieanswers.txt

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alirhi · 3 years

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This is oddly fun lol

Let's see how many of these I can churn out before I get distracted or need a break! (pff. like I need an excuse to watch the show again. Despite its flaws, I really, really love TFATWS, guys)

Without further ado, let's get down to it!

Episode 2: The Star-Spangled Man

I'm pretty sure I'm on record when it comes to my undying hate for John Walker, yes? So obviously, Bucky's grumpiness 100% stays 😂

I'm not really a fan of how much emphasis they put on the shield. I can see it as a catalyst for Bucky to go confront Sam, yes, but he wouldn't keep going "shield shield shield" like a broken record. Bucky has consistently been shown to be an empathetic man. I can't believe for a second that he'd be barking at Sam about having no right to give up the shield; he'd ask why. Sam's got shit to do, so he'd get impatient and not answer.

"Why'd you give up so easily? If you were overwhelmed, I could've helped you-" "You've been ignoring me. Like now, how you're ignoring me walking away from you." "Well, you weren't texting me about this." "You think I needed your permission?!" "No, but I was right there with Steve while he was learning what it meant to be Cap. I wouldn't mind helping you get used to-" "Then go teach him." A vague gesture toward the "Cap is back" posters. Bucky makes a face. "Steve passed the mantle to you. You fought with him. You earned it. That little shit didn't." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Just tell me why, Sam. I mean it. I just wanna understand." "Not now, Buck. I've got shit to do. You see me heading for a plane right now, right?" "This is important!" "So is this." Sam tells him about the Flag Smashers, we get our silly Big Three/Gandalf conversation.

I'm sorry, but that whole jumping from the plane scene is funny as hell, and I love all the nods they added in to jokes from the press tours that brought us this show in the first place (like ripping the sleeve off his jacket lol). I don't think I'd change a single thing from the Big Three convo to Bucky joining Sam in the warehouse.

"You're doing the staring thing again." "You're staring at your watch," Bucky points out. He knows it's linked to Redwing, he's just pointing out how dumb that line is in that situation. They're there for recon lol. They're meant to be looking around.

I don't...particularly care about the other common gripe here? Meaning, "Bucky's a civilian, so why is he allowed to randomly jump in on a military mission?" Bucky's also known in this universe as an Avenger, just like Sam, so I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him joining. Also, I have my own agenda related to Bucky's apparent freedom to walk in and out of military/government things.

What does bug me (as funny as it is) is Bucky's animosity toward Redwing. Again... Bucky is a certified nerd. Always has been. If anything, he'd be fascinated by Redwing and Sam would constantly have to slap him away because he's leaning in too close trying to see the tiny watch monitor. "I don't trust Redwing" is just old man griping "I don't trust your newfangled technology" and that... that's not Bucky.

And that "we're not assassins" dig, and then laughing when Bucky gets upset? That's not Sam. Both of these men have shown a remarkable amount of empathy, and Sam has a background in helping traumatized vets. If he cared enough about Bucky to be texting him after Steve left, he'd care enough not to make callous jokes about his time as The Winter Soldier, whether he knows the full story or not.

The fight on top of moving trucks looks cool, but makes no logical sense. I keep trying to think of a way to explain this from a story perspective, rather than a lazy "it looks cool!" filmmaking one, and I'm coming up blank. Anyone with half a brain would have pulled over, had the fight, and then taken off. It was a fun sequence, though... Eh. I'll leave it.

When Karli breaks Redwing, Bucky doesn't say "I always wanted to do that." Again, it's funny - I love the jabs about that stupid robo bird XD - but not Bucky. In my version, he smirks and says "You're so gonna regret that."

"You were kinda getting your asses kicked before we got there." Is immediately followed by Bucky staring him down and asking, "And... how did that fight end for you?" Sam adds, "I don't see them in custody. Are-are they following in a van?" He looks around, sarcastically searching for another vehicle. Walker and Hoskins grimace at each other, grudgingly conceding that point.

credit to @dailycelebs

Seeing Walker, and having to listen to his stupid pro-government rhetoric, makes Bucky think about Steve. When we cut from the Flag Smashers back to Bucky and Sam and the closeup of Bucky's pensive face, we hear 1940s Steve angrily telling 1940s Bucky about how the higher ups in the army had already written off the POWs and were going to leave them to die. "I love our country, Buck," he laments, "but what do I do when I'm not too sure anymore about the people who run it?"

"What you always do," is young Bucky's answer, "stand for what's right, not who's in power."

Perfect lead-in to the conversation about handling things themselves.

When Sam meets Isaiah, and hears his story, not only is he horrified and heartsick for him, but he also begins to see Bucky in a new light. He's seeing Bucky's face, the way he tries to hide his emotions and not make this conversation about him, and he's putting things together. He's still upset at being out of the loop, but he's seeing more of the situation than just "omg black super soldier". When Bucky says "he'd already been through enough," Sam asks quietly, "like you?"

The racist cop comes back before Bucky can answer, to arrest him for missing his appointment with Raynor.

ngl guys, I was so moved by the difference in how that cop treated Sam (before knowing he's Important) vs how he treated Bucky (knowing that the government views him as a violent, if pardoned, criminal). He approaches Sam with his hand on his gun, eager to defend Bucky; "is this guy bothering you?" Just because they're having a heated conversation. Then, when he sees that there's a warrant for Bucky, he approaches timidly, apologizes, treats him gently and politely. By "moved," btw, I don't mean "it was so sweet." I mean "this is fucking sick, and very, very realistic." White cops see a white guy and treat him with respect regardless of his actual criminal record, while being openly hostile towards an innocent black man without even knowing who he is, just because he's black. Moments like this made me applaud Spellman.

"You, too, Sam - That wasn't a request" is Sam's first sign that there's something off about Raynor.

Look, again... The couples therapy banter is funny because Sebastian and Anthony are funny, but that scene, from a storytelling and a mental health standpoint, is atrocious. Without some underlying reason behind her actions, Raynor is just a pointlessly terrible therapist.

Rather than insulting Bucky from the outset, Sam is angry with Raynor for violating Bucky's privacy by not only introducing herself as his therapist, but forcing a "couples" session without her patient's consent. With his background pre-Avenging, he knows this shit shouldn't fly. He immediately points out how unprofessional she's being.

Raynor doesn't bother listening - the fuck does she care, really? She shrugs and casually admits it's "slightly unprofessional" but proceeds anyway.

"Whatever's eating at him?" Sam scoffs. "Did you really just say that to a WWII veteran and the world's longest-serving POW with complex PTSD? Did I hear that right? I've had, maybe, like five conversations with this man since we met, and even I know he's been through some shit and-" "Sam," Bucky tries to interrupt, looking uncomfortable. With his crushing guilt, he has an easier time dealing with insults than someone coming to his defense. "No," Sam snaps. "If the HIPAA Slayer over here wants to drag me into this, she's damn well gonna hear what I have to say!" He turns back to Raynor and demands, "Is this how you've been treating him this whole time? Downplaying what he's been through and making a grown-ass man sound like a sulking teenager?" Raynor keeps her cool, but barely. Visibly frustrated and annoyed, she ignores Sam's tirade and tries to force the conversation back onto the track she wants it on. Bucky's embarrassed and doesn't know how to react to any of this, so he still makes that little "he would talk less" jab. Sam, seeing that he's not going to get anywhere with him until they're away from this bitch, glowers and plays along. We get our silly/angry banter.

After their argument with Walker, Sam finally confronts Bucky about what really happened to him.

"He meant HYDRA; HYDRA used to be my people." "Were they?" Sam asks, stopping him and looking him in the eye, not letting him look away or deflect. "Steve was under the impression that they were your captors. I was under the impression that the Wakandans spent two years deprogramming you so no one could use you the way HYDRA did ever again." "I-" Startled, not expecting that, Bucky stutters a little and admits, "Yeah, I... That's true, I guess." "You guess?" "Does it matter? Sam rolls his eyes. "I dunno, does it matter that you were a slave for most of the 20th century?" "I doubt it matters much to my victims." "HYDRA's victims," Sam corrects firmly. "Just like you." Bucky fidgets; he doesn't know what to do or say. No one since Steve has even so much as insinuated that Bucky wasn't 100% culpable for what he did while under HYDRA control. "Look," Sam sighs, "I don't particularly like you. I don't hate you, but I'm not your biggest fan." "...Thanks?" "I just need you to know where I stand-" "Yeah, got it-" "-So you know I'm not biased like Steve when I say you had no choice. I don't know your story, but I know no one flips on a dime from docile and plagued with guilt to an unstoppable killing machine and back without some serious psychological damage behind that. I'm not saying you're an innocent little bunny, but I don't think you're a monster." "Thanks," Bucky croaks, more sincerely this time, and a bit choked up. He clears his throat and looks distinctly uncomfortable as he grumbles, "but to catch these guys, we may need to talk to a monster." Sam cringes. "I was afraid you'd say that."

#sebastian stan #anthony mackie #tfatws #tfatws critical #fan ramblings #show rewrite #if i'd written it #episode 2

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miss-smutty · 3 years

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The Destructive Secret - Chapter 1

A/N- So first of all, extremely mature themes, strictly 18+ only This is my baby, I love it and I'm so excited for it but oh my lord! My poor heart writing this. This is going to be a super angsty series. Since I got the idea I've been desperate to get it written, even though it's going to break my heart. The dynamics of it have been driving me insane because I want the first chapter to have a air of mystery to it but then how do I tag it without giving it away? 😩 So I've purposefully left out names in this chapter so you don't know who's who and all will be revealed in good time. Can you work out what's happening? I'd love to hear your thoughts ❤️

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter destruction.

Word count- 2,197

Warnings- Mature themes, swearing, smut, angst, deceit, lies

18+ only!

Taglist-: @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke

Posted: 25th Feb 2021

"Babe, don't hate me... I have to go out of town for another conference this weekend" The deep confliction you feel everytime you do this to your boyfriend, never gets any easier.

"I don't hate you, we'll make up for it next week. How about a little romantic trip, just the two of us" he says sweetly, making your heart tug, you wish he was a bad guy it would make this a lot easier.

"That sounds like a great plan, I'll make it up to you tonight" you say, distracted by your thoughts.

"Well that sounds... Intriguing. I'll see you tonight babe" he hung up the phone but you kept it to your ear, still deep in thought before finally realising and putting the phone on the desk next to your computer.

You finished typing up the letter you were working on before the phone call, looking back and forth from your phone to the screen of your computer, still distracted by your thoughts. The butterflies in your stomach making you feel sick. You gave in and grabbed your phone, typing out a text quickly.

-I've told him. Pick me up from work at 5.30 Friday - you stop typing to think for a minute, before finishing the text with two kisses - xx

You try to get your head back into work, the neverending pile of deadlines building up on your desk next to you. When your phone vibrates the desk loudly, you look around to make sure no one's watching you before giving in to your curiosity and picking up your phone.

-Great, see you Friday. I can't wait to see you xxx

You try to feel excited but the overwhelming amount of guilt you feel always overrides that. You wish it could be different, that you could've met in a different way. That you could actually thoroughly enjoy the time you have together rather than feeling a deep shamefulness everytime you meet.

You've got yourself into something so deep that you can't think of a way out of it, either way it ends somebody is going to be hurt. In fact, one way or the other, you're all going to be hurt.

*******************

"Hey babe, did you have a good day?" Your boyfriend greets you as you walk into the kitchen, filled with the aromas of the food he was cooking for you.

"It was ok, busy. This smells amazing. What you making?" You ask, kissing him on the cheek as he stands over the stove, stirring a pot of delicious smelling liquid.

"I'm just making a sauce for the pasta" he says letting go of his wooden spoon and grabbing you by the hand to spin you around and face him.

"Did you bring dessert?" He says into your ear, moving your hair to the side and planting kisses down your neck.

"What no, was I supposed to?" You couldn't remember him saying anything about dessert, yet you'd been pretty distracted most of the day.

"I'm sure you said something about making it up to me tonight?" He smirks, pulling you in for a lingering open mouthed kiss.

"Oh, yeah. That kind of dessert" you say, pulling away slightly.

"Are you ok? You seem kinda ... Distracted" he asks, a look of concern on his face as you shuffle though the papers in your bag.

"No, sorry babe. It's just work, I've had a lot on my mind today" you lie, sort of. You had a lot on your mind it just wasn't work related, even though you wish it was.

As you put the papers back into your bag you can feel your phone vibrating. Fuck sake, not now. Becoming flustered you accidentally drop the bag onto the glass table, nearly jumping out of your skin from the loud noise your phone made as it hit the glass.

You notice your hands shaking as you hold your phone in front of you, cursing yourself under your breath for being so pathetic. Reading the text has your heart beating at an unbelievable pace, making you light headed and dizzy.

-Can you meet me tonight? I hate this, I hate not being able to see you whenever I like. Please Y/N xxx

You pull out a chair and sit down before you fall down, why do you have to be pulled about in so many different directions? It was so hard leading a double life and keeping your dirty little secret, it literally ate away at your soul. You were a shell of the person you used to be, completely consumed with lies and deceit.

Sleepless nights, tossing and turning caused by guilt and work schedules and then still having to sneak away whenever you could. You lost yourself, trying to keep two people happy while completely forgetting about yourself.

"Babe?"

"Huh?" You say looking up from your phone, you hadn't realised he'd been speaking to you.

"I said, red or white? He asks, furrowing his brow at you.

"Sorry, what?" You look confused, shaking your head as if to shake the thoughts right out of there. You have no idea what he's talking about.

"Wine? Foods ready. Do you want red or white... wine?" Looking more concerned.

"Oh, white please. Thank you, this looks amazing" you say, putting your phone into your shirt pocket and tucking your chair under the table, ready to get started. It really did look amazing, you don't deserve him.

You watched him sit down opposite you, his ridiculously blue eyes catching yours as his fork passes to his lips. He smiles that sweet smile at you, the one that made you fall in love with him all those years ago. The memories of the years flash in front of your eyes in an instant, the first time he told you he loved you, the first kiss, the first time you made love, beautiful, beautiful memories. You can feel a tear prickling at the corner of your eye, lowering your head, hoping he didn't see.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asks, reaching across the table to hold your hand in his. The feel of his touch on your hand sends shivers down your spine and the tears spill from your eyes without warning. You hear his chair screech as he pushes it backwards and rushes to your side.

"Babe, please tell me what's wrong?" He kneels In front of you while you rest your head in your hands, completely overwhelmed with guilt. This poor man, my man, how could I do this to him?

"Don't be nice to me, I don't deserve it" you say, self-loathing.

"What are you talking about? Come here" he pulls you up and sits down with you on his lap, lifting your face to look at him which makes you cry even more.

"I've been so distant with you, so consumed in my damn work that I've been totally neglecting you - " you cry, looking up at him sincerely, tears streaming down your face messily " - I'm so sorry" if only he knew how sorry you actually were. You loved him, he was your first everything, which makes it even harder for you.

"Hey don't be so silly. I'm a big boy, I think I can handle you being a little distracted, it just means when we do get time together it's more special. You've put up with so much from me, with the tabloids and papparzzi. You took it all on when we were still so young and never complained once, this is nothing compared to that" he wipes the tears away from your cheeks. Oh baby, please don't blame yourself.

"I would do it all over again, you know? It was worth it, I'd never change it. You're my childhood sweetheart, we've grown up together and I... I" you're balling like a baby now.

"Shh, baby. Please don't worry about it. You need a break, you've been working way too hard" if only he knew.

He nudges the side of your face with his soft bearded cheek until you give in and look up at him. The tears are also starting to well in his eyes and he smiles at you, at how silly and emotional you're both being. You suck it up and wipe the tears away with your arm.

"Come on, I've got some making up to do" you say, leading him to the bedroom. Your phone begins to vibrate in your pocket - an incoming call. You reach in and hold down the off button, you'll deal with that later.

He stops you before you make it to the bedroom and pushes you hastily against the wall, unable to wait much longer. His hands feel their way down your body until he reaches the hem of your skirt and pushes it up to your stomach, revealing your lacey panties. Your breath hitches as he pushes himself against you, the feel of his hard cock against your exposed panties makes you forget everything else for a moment.

"I love you so fucking much" he says against your lips, biting gently on your bottom one while his hands run up and down your body. You reach down to unbutton his jeans, it's all very rushed and desperate, you need to feel each other, feel the love you have for each other. You need to show him, a painful desire that burns in your chest to show him that you love him.

So you push him backwards towards the bedroom door, your hands still working his jeans as your lips lock, never pulling apart.

Shoving him slightly too hard back onto your super-king bed in the middle of the room, you waste no time straddling him. He reaches up to unbutton your shirt, thrusting into you as he does so, the need so bad it hurt. You stopped his fingers fiddling with your button midway down your torso so you could pull off his jeans and boxers, while he props himself up on the bed with his elbows. Watching intently as you take control.

You kneel between his thighs, smoothing your hands down those thick muscles. Waiting for him to position himself at the end of the bed, making sure he has a good view before you run your pierced tongue up the shaft, all the way to the tip. Teasing him, knowing full well how it makes him feel. The ways his head falls back, his mouth hung open and the sounds falling from his lips, stir something deep inside you. It makes you feel hot to know you're turning him on this much.

Circling your pointy tongue around the tip, a sultry stare straight into his eyes makes him groan. You take his tip into your mouth, swallowing the drop of precum, licking your lips for him. Sucking on his cock, feeling it throbbing in your mouth, growing impossibly harder.

You can tell he can't handle it anymore when he pulls you onto him so you're sitting on his cock, your walls stretching around him making you both suck in air at the sensitivity. He leans back up to finish unbuttoning your shirt while thrusting his big cock, deep within you. Finally getting your shirt off, he grips his fingers into your ass cheeks, squeezing them as he sits up. Bouncing up and down on his dick, while you stare into each others eyes, the intimacy overwhelming you. Lost in the moment for a precious amount of time, feeling the sensation of your loves cock filling you up beyond limits.

You pull his shirt over his head, revealing his beautifully, tanned body. Holding on tightly to you while he pushes himself up the bed so he can lean his back against the headboard. Watching your tits move as you bounce on his cock, thrusting into you with his jaw clenched. You know that look, the way he's desperately trying not to come too quickly.

Both of your breathes are getting faster as you bounce harder, the gripping sensation rises through you.

"I love you" you say between breaths, leaning down to say it into his ear.

"Fuck - " he groans, pulling out of you quickly before he come, your rising orgasm fading away.

" - fuck Sorry, babe. That was too fucking much" He rolls you over underneath him and quickly positions himself back at your entrance, easing in painfully slowly.

Now thrusting into you at an unforgivable pace, making you gasp everytime he slammed into you. Pushing your knees back towards your face and settling himself between them, holding your head with both hands and gazing into your eyes. He's ready, you're ready, you can feel it rising as he rolls his hips into you. The look of love in his eyes making you feel emotional, he's panting and you're moaning as he lets go and pumps into you making you lose it and scream out as you gush everywhere. Holding onto the sheets, tightly, as you wait for your toes to uncurl, still inside of you he lays on your stomach trying to catch his breath. Your muscles cramp up and shake making you wince as you try to move out from underneath him

"Are you ok?" His head snaps up, concerned.

"Yeah, just cramp" you whine, stretching out your legs when he rolls to your side.

"I really do love you" you say moving into his arms.

"I know you do. I love you too" he says kissing the top of your head. You're brought back to reality when you hear your phone vibrating again on the floor, in the pocket of your shirt.

"You're popular tonight" he says noticing the sound of your phone as it vibrates the floorboards.

"It's just work, it can wait until tomorrow" you say, content being in his arms for a little longer and forgetting that anything or anyone else exists. Even if it is only for a moment.

#chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth smut #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x you #smut #angst #chris hemsworth fanfic

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spideyy-girl · 5 years

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You Don’t Understand ~ Five Hargreeves

Requested by @multi-fandoms-stuff : Heyyy could I request a five imagine where he is like super overprotective of his s/o??

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Warnings: sorta mentions suicide but not directly, unrequited love, ANGST MAJOR BIG TIME

Word Count: 3775 (10.1 pages)

A/N: So this literally was requested to me in like May, I know I’m the worst. Also, I sort of wrote this a bit differently to the request, but I’m pretty happy with how it turned out and I hope you like it too!

Told in Five’s POV.

~~~

Y/N was number eight of the infamous 8 Hargreeves siblings born on that fateful day. Her birth mother was young, just graduated high school, and wasn't ready for a child. She was too scared to tell her parents of the events that had taken place the day the mystery child was born and decided to do what she thought was best at the time: leave her on the side of the street alone to probably freeze or starve to death. But thankfully, Reginald Hargreeves, a well-known scientist and self-made billionaire picked you up before you got your undesired fate and you became part of the world-renowned group of kid supers: The Umbrella Academy.

Of course, she should be thankful for where she was today. That she's lucky enough to still be living and breathing the not-so-fresh air of downtown Toronto, but you couldn't blame her for not doing so, not when she's always in a position like this.

Y/N sat hunched over the bench of the training room and had a strong feeling that if she moved at all your lunch would escape your stomach. She always hated training, preferring to sit in the rather large living room and reading a nice, long book. But with someone like our father always breathing down her neck, that's not gonna happen for some time.

Out of all of our brothers and sisters, Y/N was considered to be the strongest Hargreeve child, being able to summon fire at the simple thought of it. She was able to control and properly use her powers at a young age, which was critical considering there isn't a lot of mistakes she could've made before someone goes six feet under.

Although being the most powerful was considered a gift, she always thought of it as a curse. All the pressure to be the greatest was always put on her.

"You ready for the next round, princess?" I asked from behind her, having not even broken a sweat in the past hour and a half.

"Oh fuck off, prick," she said back, not being able to stop the smile breaking through her frown as she shook her head at me, leaning her head against the cool wall, her beautiful y/h/c hair sliding along the brick with her.

Who am I you might ask? Well Five Hargreeves of course, the fifth Hargreeves sibling, if you haven't guessed already. See, technically, I wasn't in any way Y/N's "brother", but in all ways, she was my best friend. We were almost exact opposites, but also the same person at the same time. I would go as far as to say we're soulmates, only brought to this absolute hellhole we call home just for our fate of meeting each other.

Now that I think of it, all of these factors might be contributing to some growing feelings for the girl, add for the bonus that she's truly the most beautiful girl I think I've ever laid eyes on, but like hell I was going to tell anybody, let alone her.

"Hey, seriously Y/N/N, you alright there?" I said as I make my way over to where she was and kneeled beside her on the bench. Ever since we were young, I always felt like I had to protect her. I know she doesn't need it, she's the strongest person I know,- physically and emotionally- but I just wanted her to be safe.

"Hello? C'mon, Y/N you're seriously starting to scare me now," I say as I take a seat beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. She tilted her head slightly to look over at me, squinting against the harsh light of the room and trying to offer a smile, but it turned out more like a grimace. I gave her a pitiful smile and put my arm under her arms and lifted her up, leaning her body against mine.

I could tell she felt disgusting, her stomach doing somersaults inside of her and she tapped my shoulder, silently asking me to let her down. I did so carefully, placing her gently on the ground where she practically collapsed to the floor, groaning. I kneeled beside her again, my heartbeat rising in worry as I brushed the wet hair stuck to her forehead away from her pretty face. I wore a worried expression on my face, looking over her very pale looking one, analyzing every detail I could soak in. I have never seen her this sick before, and I can't help but let my mind wander to what the worst scenario could be.

"Five?" she whispered, feeling her throat constrict around her words. She looked up at me as I bit my lip in worry, looking over her face, connecting her constellation of freckles. I sigh when I hear her voice, smiling down at the girl.

"Yeah? What's up, Y/N/N," I say softly, using the nickname for her from our childhood. I see the mention of it makes her smile. Something in me hoped this would be the moment where she would finally admit her mutual feelings for me, finally tell me that she loved me just as much as I did her. Something cliche and romantic like in that stupid movie The Titanic she made me watch with her just the other week.

Suddenly I feel my body tumble to the ground, and just as I was about to jump up again, my wrists were pinned to the ground. I look up right above me and grin, seeing Y/N hovering over me, her hands burning my wrists slightly while holding them to the ground.

"Damn, Five," she jokes as she lets go of my hands, still sitting on top of me, not that I mind to be completely honest. "You're a great fighter, but so easy to distract." She blows off her hands, which began to tint red. I rubbed my wrists where she had been holding me down and smirked at her.

"Can't blame me, darling," I say as I sit up, her still not moving from her straddling position on top of me. "With a face like yours, anyone could get distracted." She rolls her eyes, not thinking twice about my comment. She's used to hearing them from me, sometimes I wish she knew I truly meant them.

"Oh really?" She smiles back at me, putting her hands around my neck and looks at me right in the eye. It's moments like this where I question our friendship, maybe it could mean more to her. I look up at her in adoration, not that she catches it, of course. She never seems to realize. She looks at me a different way now, with an emotion I can't currently place, and tilts her head. "Can I ask you a question, Five?" She says quietly, almost a whisper.

"Of course, anything." My head is racing as I answer her. Could this be it? I mean the situation seems fitting, considering your position, literally. She hesitates before she answers, picking out her words carefully.

"Can I have a glass of water? I'm absolutely parched," she gasped out, teasing smile ghosting her features. I looked at her with bewildered eyes, trying to find my words. Water? Seriously?

"Water? Seriously?" I blurt out without thinking. My eyes go wide as I shut my mouth just as fast as I opened it. Now it was her turn to look at me crazy. She let out a dry laugh (literally because her throat was becoming the Sahara desert).

"Well, yeah. That workout beat the shit outta me and now I'm thirsty," she groaned as she lifted herself up to support her body on her elbows, me quickly placing a hand on her back to help. I shake my head at myself for actually thinking that was going to happen. As much as I hated to admit it, Y/N would never feel that way for me, I know she could only love me as a brother. After shaking myself out of my thoughts I nodded, a small 'yeah sure' leaving my lips as I quickly got up and proceeded over to the kitchen for that glass of water.

As I grabbed the glass from the top shelf and turned on the tap, I realized for the first time that I was in deep shit, and it was too late to try and dig myself out of it.

And that was the first time I realized I was in love with Y/N Hargreeves.

~~~

It had been a couple of months since the training room incident, and somehow I've managed to keep my mouth shut on the discovery. As much as I tried to avoid contact with Y/N at first, I knew it was wrong, selfish. Well, I didn't realize at first until Klaus came running into my bedroom, screaming at me because I made Y/N cry. Just the thought of tears in her y/e/c eyes made me go even crazier, and to know I had been the cause of them was the end of that.

So things went back to the way they were before, mostly. As normal as you could get after realizing you're in love with someone and have to keep that in the back of your mind and pretend to be just a friend if you know what I mean. If you do know what I mean I feel terribly sorry for you, because it hasn't even been more than a few weeks and I feel like I'm dying.

I push the staircase door open to enter the dingy lobby of the low-grade apartment building Y/N and I are staked out on. I walk across the ugly patterned carpet, avoiding eye contact with the staff at the front desk and walk over to the vending machine.

As I look through the choices, I realize I have never heard of any of these brands and should probably not eat whatever is in the rusting machine, but nonetheless grab a couple of bags of chips in Y/N's favourite flavour, even though they're not really my cup of tea. Then I begin my trek back up the fifteen-story building, since using the elevator isn't quite an option, due to it being "worked on", mentally preparing myself to greet Y/N again.

I finally get to the roof of the building, panting slightly as I push open the heavy metal door. "Hey Y/N I-" I begin to talk until I see what's in front of me. My eyes blow wide as I drop the bags of chips and run over to Y/N, who was standing at the edge of the building, arms spread out and eyes closed, her hair blowing wildly in the wind. She was obviously startled by my little outburst and starts to lose balance but I grab her waist and tackle her to the loose rock ground of the roof.

"What the fuck, Five?!" She screams, hands up and eyes squeezed shut, her cheeks going red. I sigh in relief and roll off of her and onto my back beside her, my hand over my chest. She opens her eyes and looks over at me, an angry expression taking over her face and specks of red appearing in her eyes. She was pissed. "Well? I asked you a fucking question!"

"You're asking me?" I said back, equally as angry. "Y/N what the hell were you doing up there? What if something happened?" I said as I push myself up to a sitting position, her doing the same as her hands get hot.

"Nothing was going to happen to me, Five! Not until you scared the shit out of me and I almost fell off the building!" She replies, her breathing getting heavy. I roll my eyes and laugh sarcastically.

"You think I'm the one who scared the shit out of you? Y/N what was I supposed to think when I see you standing on the edge of a 15 story high building like that?" I say, my hands flying around in absurd gestures as I try to show her my point, but she obviously wasn't getting it.

"It wasn't like that and you know it!" Y/N screamed back. At this point, her eyes had a bright red glow, something that happened when her powers were being triggered. I knew if I even tried to touch her hands I'd get a third-degree burn. "Jesus, Five, I don't need you breathing down my neck like that all the time, I already got dad for that!"

"Well, I'm sorry that I was worried about you!" My voice reached its peak intensity. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay! Because I lo-" I stop myself, breathing deeply as I look up at her. I catch my breath before I continue. "Because I care about you, Y/N. Is that such a fucking crime." I say, much quieter this time. She looks on at me, mouth opened slightly but still disappointed. She averts her gaze and shakes her head, looking at her worn-down shoes.

"The two of you just messed up this mission with your childish bickering!" our father's voice rings through the silent breeze. Y/N sighs, shuffling over to where the tiny radio laid in a pile of pebbles. "you two will be greatly punished! This couldn've been one of the biggest-" his voice stops abruptly as she ticked the switch on the side to off, and put it in her pocket as she made her way towards the stair door, but stops as she walks in front of me, not facing me.

"I appreciate the effort Five, but I don't need a saviour," she said in a voice so low even the wind overpowered it. "And now you've cost us the mission. Good fucking job, superman." And I watched as she rushes away from me, the door slamming behind her as I try to find something, anything in me to move, to follow her and apologize, admit that she was right.

And that was the second time I realized I loved her, as she walked away, sniffling and trying to keep her tears at bay. I knew at that moment I would do anything if it meant I'd never make her feel like that again.

~~~

The failed New York case had been just a week ago, and Y/N took every chance she could to escape me. I don't blame her, what I did was wrong, and she was right. It was oddly quiet without her. I would spend most of my time just sitting in my bedroom, reading a book, waiting for her to burst in and throw it across the room as she pulls me out to explore with her. Every time I would groan and protest when she did that, hoping I could finally have some reading time alone in the peace and quiet, but as I found myself in that position I prayed to be in so many times, I wished for her to come back. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.

It was dinner time and everyone ate silently, the only sound in the room being the clinking of utensils on plates and Herr Carlson talking about mountain climbing techniques. Y/N sat across from me, her eyes trained down onto her steak dinner mom prepared. She pushed her beans around the plate. She hates beans, they make her feel sick. I stare at her, not being able to take my eyes away from her, praying she would look up. I know she could tell I was looking at her.

I watched as everyone did their own thing at the table. Ben was reading, Diego was carving something into his chair, Klaus was rolling another blunt, Allison and Luther were making disgusting goo-goo eyes at each other, and Vanya was the only one who was really eating. I look down the table at my father, his perfectly groomed mustache twitching as he chewed on his steak.

Before I could control myself I stabbed my knife into the table, causing a loud bang to ring through the dining room. "I have a question," my question comes out coldly. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, but I kept mine on my father, who was still looking down at his plate.

"Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rule, Number 5. No talking at the dinner table. You are interrupting Herr Carlson!" My father finally looks up at me. I glare at him as I harshly push my food away from me.

"I want to time travel," I speak out.

"Five," I hear Y/N whisper out, warning me. I can't help but glance over at her; she looks worried.

"But I'm ready!" I argue. She sighs, shaking her head and bringing her attention back to her meal. I turn my gaze back to Reginald. "I've been practising my spatial jumps, just like you've told me." As I finish my sentence I stand up and a blue light takes over me, teleporting me to beside him. "See?"

"A spatial jump is trivial when compared to the unknowns of time travel." He countered back. I rolled my eyes, I'm so tired of this shit every time. "One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing waters and reappearing as an acorn." I look at him like he's a crazy old man, which per se he is.

"Well, I don't get it," I say in a quieter voice, but my attitude the same. he glances up at me and reaches for his glass, taking a sip of the undoubtedly expensive red wine.

"Hence the reason why you're not ready." He says as if it's the end of the discussion. I avert my gaze, my eyes distinctively looking right towards Y/N, who was already looking at me. She shook her head lightly, mouthing 'please'. She was silently telling me to give it up, it's not worth it. If it were any other day I might have listened to her. I know I should have.

"I'm not afraid," I say still looking at her. I can't read her expression, but I could tell she was getting anxious by the way her eyebrows were scrunching together and how she brought her bottom lip between her teeth, biting hard.

"Fear isn't the issue. The effects it might have on your body, even your mind, are far too unpredictable." Reginald says, making me tear my eyes away from hers as he slams his own cutlery on the table. "Now I forbid you to talk of this subject any further." I sigh, looking around the room once more. Y/N's eyes were still looking right through me. I ignore her as I run out of the room, hearing my father calling for me from the table.

I push the doors of the academy open and walk down the street. It was a nice fall evening, just a little chilly. I think of a time period in the future, how about mid-July a year from now? Just as I was about to push forward I heard something.

"Five!" I could recognize the voice in my sleep. I turn around and see Y/N running after me. I stop so she could catch up, she was already panting by the time she came up in front of me. Her breaths were heavy as she analyzed me. "Please don't do this. Just come home."

Hearing her speak like this after her being so rude to me made anger bubble in my chest. "Oh, so now you want to talk to me? After ignoring the whole week?" I spurt out without thinking. I watch as her expression changed from worried to frustrated.

"Listen, Five, I was angry and I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry, okay? But I think I at least deserve an apology too." She says back. I let out a cold laugh, shaking my head as I look back at her.

"So now I'm apologizing for saving your life? Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me. I should've let you fall off the fucking building." I say. I don't know why I say it, and I know I shouldn't, it wasn't true. I was just so piped up.

"You don't mean that, Five," she says quietly, trying to hold back the tears surfacing in her bright Y/E/C eyes. I lick my lips as I looked down, choosing not to respond. She continues. "I know you didn't mean any harm; I overreacted. I understand."

"No, you don't," I say quietly. I felt speechless, but at the same time, I was saying everything at once. I look back up at her and she looked confused. "You don't understand what it's like for me. You don't understand what it would be like for me if something ever happened to you, knowing it was my fault. You don't understand how protective I get when we're fighting criminals and they hurt you in any way. You don't understand when we're training and you better me, how that makes me feel. You don't understand what it's like when you don't come into my room and throw my book and drag me out to go exploring around the house, even though we've seen every part of it. You don't understand what it's like when you fall asleep on my shoulder after begging me to watch whatever stupid rom-com with you. You don't understand what it's like watching you go out with all those douchebag boys, knowing I could do better, be better. You don't understand what it's like to be slowing falling more and more in love with you every day, just for you to think of me as not only your 'best friend' but worse, your brother! You'll never understand."

Her mouth was open as if she was trying to reply but couldn't find the right words. I waited for her to say something, anything really, but I got nothing. As she slowly took her eyes away from mine and looked at the ground I scoffed, shaking my head. "Yeah, that's what I thought," I mumble before I turn around and push myself to a different year.

And that was the last time I eve saw Y/N L/N. Well until now, 45 years later.

[Look out for part two my loves ;)]

~~~

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