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#and kind of related to that. i love u screwed up mentorships.
katierosefun · 2 months
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[deep breath] not me suddenly getting hit by tcw feelings in this year 2024 but like. truly ough i love likening ahsoka and anakin and obi-wan's entire dynamic as tragic siblings because that's the closest approximation we have to it but also just like. there's tragic siblings because they're the ones you're supposed to joke with and play with and look up to when it seems like everything is falling apart.
and then there's the whole tragic student-teacher element to all of it and maybe it's just like. i look up to you i owe you so much i know you've only ever tried and wanted to make me better i know you saw something in me worth cultivating and keeping you exasperate me sometimes because why the hell do i need to know this kind of stuff why the hell are you nitpicking this kind of stuff why do you care so much about why i succeed or not you're not my parent and i don't want you to be my parent but also you helped me learn more about myself and the world than i've ever realized. can i ask for your opinion about this later. can i still ask you for help on this problem.
and then the whole flip side of that is like. you were someone who mentored me and taught me and now you're a monster i barely know or recognize and how could you do this how could you say that how could you hurt me like this i know you think you're doing the right thing and you're so much older and wiser and i'm still waiting at the door like a little kid but also i don't think being taught lessons is meant to feel like this and i can't tell if i'm still acting childish or if maybe, more horrifyingly, everyone who warned me about you was right and you really are a monster and you've taught me how to be a monster and what do i do now and i guess i just have to grapple with the fact that you molded me and shaped me and if you broke off one of my arms while doing that, then who am i to tell
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