#and idk THIS WOULD BE SO HEALING AND COMFORTING FOR CARTMAN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hatsunevitu · 10 months

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for some reason i enjoy so much the idea of kyle actually genuinely liking cartman’s appearance. like, he would never admit it – especially to cartman – but somehow eric really is a perfect match for kyle’s preferences.

therefore he can’t possibly stand the idea of cartman changing his appearance to become more “beautiful” in other people’s opinions, because kyle likes him the way he already is — and kyle already is sure cartman is beautiful.

so eeeevery time cartman has even a tiniest thought of losing weight, kyle makes sure he will change his mind.

cartman: I don’t know, man, maybe I really should lose weight… I mean, I’m hot as hell right now, but imagine all those girls who will go completely insane when they see me all skinny and sexy?

kyle: Gross. I don’t want to even think about it.

cartman: Are you jealous, Kyle? Or are you just envious ‘cuz I get more females’ attention being big-boned than you do with your thin ass?

kyle: Don’t you flatter yourself, Fatass. When was the last time a girl looked at you without a terror on her face?

cartman: Oh, shut up, Jew! You’re just afraid you’ll look even uglier next to me.

kyle: So you’re going on a diet, right?

cartman: Right!

kyle: Okay, good luck with this. …Oh, wait, isn’t this a KFC restaurant right there? And, wow, look: I have fifteen bucks right here! Damn, that’s just perfect for a double portion of chicken...

cartman: No… you sneaky little…

kyle: Huh? What’re you saying? I didn’t quite catch it. Do you wanna join me, Cartman?

cartman: …I hate you so much, Kyle. You’re going to burn in hell for forever. More than that: I will turn your life to hell myself–

kyle: So you’re going or not?

cartman: …Yes.

ALSO yes he’d support cartman’s decision to lose weight for himself but he just hates the idea of cartman changing his body just for social standards. and i just want at least one person to completely adore cartman’s looks and compliment him and i think kyle’d be the one to do so. once he get over his embarrassment, he’ll start telling nice things to cartman once in a while and cartman who is absolutely not used to genuine praise will be so. fucking. happy. every time.

#also i hc that kyle absolutely not understand the concept of ‘beautiful’ and ‘ugly’ when it comes to peoples appearance #and idk THIS WOULD BE SO HEALING AND COMFORTING FOR CARTMAN #i love them and i love how they can absolutely adore and admire each other but will never admit it openly #(on the other hand cartman is absolutely in love with kyle’s hair like he can play with it and look at it for HOURS)#he thinks kyle’s haircolor fits kyle’s personality very well #i have a really big soft spot for this dynamic when both secretly admire each other #btw i srsly hope it doesn’t sound fatphobic /gen i was only trying to write close-to-canon dialogue ;(#also when they start dating kyle will totally go feral when he hears anyone call cartman ‘fatass’#its his special petname for his bf u dont get it #south park #sp #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #kyman #sp kyman #kyman headcanon #sp cartman #sp kyle

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