I fucking hate retail, we're barely open and someone has already had time to call and be a complete asshole 😭

She even threw in the "I spent a lot of money there yesterday" as though that would make me suddenly have the answer to the question she had. Like nah, fuck off, have the sort of day you deserve.

Hell begins:(

I woke up feeling sick this morning.

I've been fighting a cold for a few days, so I knew the second I had a day off it'd hit me like a truck, but it still sucks.

I wish my butch were here, to let me lie down with my head in her lap while she does something on her laptop, to laugh when I refuse to let her kiss me because I don't want her getting sick, to oblige a few hours later when I whine about wanting a kiss.

When I apologize about being needy and needing to be taken care of, she always plays with my hair the way I like and tells me she's just returning the favor. That I take care of her all the time, and I think that's what I miss most right now.

I just want my butch to take care of me.

Guess who didn't take their medsssssss

I got out of art block- i can't express how happy i am!

Anyway, it's just a few doodles of Tommy in diferent hair colors and rating them (funny how it's the same character but i can't keep him in the same art style, he stayed different in the three 😭😭)

Again, I always feel like I'm in the wrong instead of the injured party who decided to speak up because they're tired of how they're being treated. I fucking hate it here.

S:are you okay?

B:I'm fine, thanks

I slept less than 4 hours yesterday because father woke me up at 9 am for a 1 pm flight (why father why)

And this pull out bed is SO uncomfortable I barely slept last night also fml

Is anything coming soon?😊

Ah, I really need to do some drawing... I just haven't had the motivation to create anything in so long and I'm trying to stir it up somehow.

Tryna poke my autism and hyperfixate so all I'll wanna do is draw. *pokes* cummon, do something...

And I've been busy. Someone please help me.

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S (2023)

I have been working since 5am.

I hate being on call.

If you've ever wondered why people in Hawai'i hate tourists, try to wrap your mind around the fact that there are CURRENTLY, RIGHT NOW, tourists sipping martinis and looking at fish within swimming range of the fresh corpses of local people who couldn't escape the overnight destruction of their entire town.

Try to comprehend that there are fully functional, high capacity boats passing through the waters in front of an area full of survivors who are stranded and in need of supplies, refusing to help. They are hosting snorkeling tours.

Really think about, try your best to actually picture over two thousand people unhoused and in need of shelter, with nothing but the clothes on their backs and nothing to return to. Understand that the island, stolen land, is littered with hotels full of air conditioned of rooms with beds and showers and toilets, each fully equipped to host hundreds of families for weeks, turning these people away because they're booked up with tourists who refuse to leave.

And understand that these tourists were offered free transport to return home or be hosted on other islands. Free. Courtesy of local tax dollars. 4,000 wealthy tourists were offered free flights shelter on Oahu and begged to leave the island, BEFORE the survivors were given shelter.

And enough still insisted on remaining and carrying out their vacations that people are left without shelter and resources while they enjoy "their stay in paradise".

[Edit]: This current situation, and this type of tourist behavior is horrifying beyond words. In other circumstances, the tourism situation is much more complicated, and I need to ask that people do not add on to this post unless they are local.

The Bronx Zoo has just released Flaco's necropsy results.

He was not thriving, as the people championing the ideal of "freedom" claimed.

He was poisoned.

He was sick.

He was suffering.

"Freedom" would have eventually killed him. A building just happened to do it first.

"Postmortem testing has been completed for Flaco, the Eurasian eagle owl that was found down in the courtyard of a Manhattan building a little over a year after his enclosure at the Central Park Zoo was vandalized on February 2, 2023. Onlookers reported that Flaco had flown into a building on the Upper West Side of Manhattan on February 23, 2024, and acute trauma was found at necropsy. Bronx Zoo veterinary pathologists determined that in addition to the traumatic injuries, Flaco had two significant underlying conditions. He had a severe pigeon herpesvirus from eating feral pigeons that had become part of his diet, and exposure to four different anticoagulant rodenticides that are commonly used for rat control in New York City. These factors would have been debilitating and ultimately fatal, even without a traumatic injury, and may have predisposed him to flying into or falling from the building. The identified herpesvirus can be carried by healthy pigeons but may cause fatal disease in birds of prey including owls infected by eating pigeons. This virus has been previously found in New York City pigeons and owls. In Flaco’s case, the viral infection caused severe tissue damage and inflammation in many organs, including the spleen, liver, gastrointestinal tract, bone marrow, and brain.   No other contributing factors were identified through the extensive testing that was performed. Flaco’s severe illness and death are ultimately attributed to a combination of factors—infectious disease, toxin exposures, and traumatic injuries—that underscore the hazards faced by wild birds, especially in an urban setting."

The naturalistic fallacy kills animals in horrible ways. The romanticism of what humans want to think of as a "free, wild, pure life" cannot be allowed supplant the reality of injury, sickness, and death. Releasing captive animals (or keeping them from being recaptured) because it's "better" for them to suffer untethered than live a healthy, safe, captive life is inhumane and horrific.

Flaco's life didn't have to end in pain, sickness, and suffering.

Flaco's death didn't have to be tragic.

But once the idea of "freedom" entered the chat, Flaco's fate was unavoidable.

Guess what fucking idiot agreed to cover because on-call didn't answer their phone, and is now at a fire cleanup rather than family Christmas?

🙋🏼‍♀️

Now I also want a cake(((((

Big fan of when a character's grief/trauma/guilt manifests as physical symptoms. Big fan of characters keeping things so tight inside them that it makes them sick. Big fan of when the line blurs between a character's mental trauma and physical illness until it's hard to tell which is which anymore.