#and i know that wont come from forcing myself on dates w ppl i dont like. i know no ones ever liked me before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cheswirls · 7 years

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tbh i dont even know why i bother anymore ive been trying to fix my sleep schedule for the past few days now and this is the millionth time in a row where its nearly 4am and im still awake and part of me wants t go to sleep but another part is jus like if i go to sleep now then i wont wake up until like 6pm and i dont wanna waste away another day like that and hm hm hmmmmmm

but the past couple days ive been awake until like 9-10 and going good but then i lay down to do something like watch a video or w/e and then i fall asleep and its 8pm. and ive wasted the day away

so i think the optimal solution ive come to is this: im gonna get coffee. maybe we have gingerale, i doubt we have soda, i jus need caffine. maybe some oreos, some food. cold water. and im gonna start going thru the first divided section of my room so at least that’ll be out of the way on the chance i do fall asleep and stay unconscious for the entire day again. that’s one of the things ive been meaning to do but that i dont really have the motivation to do when its evening/night soooo uh yh

and im hoping i can be on it doing stuff until morning, maybe go get breakfast again, get like a slush or some caffeinated drink from the sonic near the house, take care of the dog some, and continue working on that section of my room. theres a lot to do when you’re having to decide a if you want to keep your shit and b if you want to take it w you to college and then c if not where does it need to go. i can maybe still be doing that in four hours, when its 8 and i maybe feel like trying to wake dad up.

if i get done i got reminded today/yesterday eveningish -at this point everything rusn together ehfgkrwweb only the 4th is keeping me straight date wise like this many days til a holiday okay- shit

does dad even work tmrw? wow okay. maybe someone can wake me up if i fail myself but otherwise scrap that ig

k most things are still open so w/e mom still has work itll be fine.

i got reminded earlier than i have like two weeks until my arizona trip that turns into the southern west coast trip a few days after that. so i can start thinking abt packing/planning for that a little more. i can draw after that i need to draw more

so basically im gonna force myself awake until like 2 pm bc by then mom will be off and shes the person ican work out maybe going to like target or kirklands and looking at dorm stuff with, maybe lunch bc chances are she had maybe a bag of chips, some popcorn, w/e since its a tuesday and thatll tie me over until tonight where i can sit out nd talk w dad while he grills shit and talk abt how the fireworks are gonna get rained out maybe but if not ey good for those ppl its been soso dry for these past few years but theres been rain every night this week like. hard. hard rain. so its a good fireworks time now.

and then after i eat dinner i can conk out around 10-11 pm which is NORMAL PPL SLEEP TIME and hopefully ill be so tired from doing a +24hr circuit that ill sleep early and wake up decently.

ooor i can sleep in til 5 but even 2-5 is better than 7-8 bc i literally do nothing then eat and then have all this time to do w/e bc im not tired sooo yh. thats the plan we will see

#this actually rly isnt impt so like dont bother yourself #jus a rly long rant abt sleep scheds

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