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#and i dont think he works in a tragic way either bc he didnt 'fail' his choices. like its a video game or smth
guideaus · 1 year
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Here's how wolfwood can still win
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misterbitches · 3 years
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i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao
it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.
anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like
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bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?
so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao
so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.
i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?
but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)
so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.
but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!
god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN
AND THEN
AND THEN
AND THEN
this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?
also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.
because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.
so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?
because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?
and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post
so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.
and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.
and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?
ok so lets go through this:
1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????
2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.
3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?
3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?
4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"
4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)
4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!
5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.
6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"
7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE
8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this
9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—
10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.
10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing
they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.
also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever
even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD
even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird
just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.
how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.
i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?
then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)
(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)
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nonasidesstuff · 4 years
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the dimension travel au
aka Virgil’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week
so this is like half bullet fic half outline half word vomit but here it is!
this is based on a set of art drawn by @greenninjagal-blog that you can find here with the original version of this au
i dont mind if anyone wants to use any of these ideas just tag me/send me a link if you do!
this got SUPER LONG so its going under a cut
ok lets start with
virgil
his world is medieval-with-magic
the magic here tends to take on different elemental forms depending on the user
people who use magic are called witches
his is storm based (lightning, rain, wind, etc) and is good for both offense (shooting fucking LIGHTNING at someone is great in a fight) and gardening (the ability to call rain at will is pretty nice)
he can also make potions but in his world ANYONE with magic can make potions
the thing is,,,,, magic is illegal in the kingdom he lives in
so when he found out he had magic at like age 11 he fucked off in the middle of the night
he found another witch (a water witch) fairly soon after he left and they taught him how to control his powers and how to make potions
also how to hunt bc hed planned on living out of cities
5 years later hes 16 and has learned all he could and leaves to go to the woods in the middle of nowhere
his teacher had told him about a cottage they had built in a clearing in the woods and said he could go there bc they were leaving the kingdom
they left behind a lot of books on magic and he learned more reading those
the cottage was actually in pretty good shape? the roof was a little leaky but the furniture inside was fine
the outside was a nightmare though. overgrown plants all over
as the years went on he restored the area around the cottage and found a bunch of neat stuff
like a vegetable garden that had been overgrown and wild but still had healthy plants he could cultivate for food. there were also some spice plants that had gone out of control that he harvested and dried for later use
he found out the woods around his home were full of berries (wild strawberries and blackberries. shhhhhh idc if they dont grow in the same places this is a Magic World) and discovered that one of the trees in the clearing was actually an apple tree so yay fruit!!!!
so he was living the good life
cut to 3 years later
hes 19 now and a full-blown weather witch and potion maker
he has sectioned off his garden into 3 parts: spices, vegetables, and potions ingredients
unfortunately some ingredients just wont grow well in a garden and have to be harvested from the wild
virgil realizes hes running low on a couple of said ingredients and decides to make a run to the patches of potion herbs he knows of
he only gets halfway there
a swirling blue-and-yellow vortex opens up 20 feet in the air to the right of him and something falls out
something human shaped
holy shit its a PERSON
he rushes over to make sure this person is okay and.
they have reddish brown fox ears?????
and a reddish brown and grey tail????????
he pokes one of the ears and it twitches
holy shit theyre REAL????!!!!!!!!!
he gathers up this person and takes them home
he puts the strange person in his bed and tends to the minor injuries they obtained from falling 20 feet
this is when he realizes that this person is dressed,,,,,, very strangely
now, people in virgil’s world have some freedom in what they can wear. they can wear whatever the FUCK they want. virgil is partial to dresses and skirts himself
but what this person is wearing is different. the material was like nothing hed ever seen before and in a strange style
(it suits him. its really cute)
he slept for a little over 9 hours
(virgil slept on the floor)
and when he woke he was disoriented and woozy
so he ate a small meal and drank some water and fell back to sleep for another couple hours
when he wakes again, he feels much better and is able to introduce himself
“I’m Patton Baker! Where am I?”
patton
his world is like if you took every single magical girl/boy anime out there and mashed it into one world.
so its chaotic
theres aliens/demons/monsters attacking every other week
this attracts magical creatures like a magnet and they start giving magical girls/boys powers. these are called magical guardians
these people are public figures and are treated the same way idols are in our world (not allowed boyfriends/girlfriends etc)
its a tough job
patton became a magical boy when he was 14 and has been for the past 3 years
the powers his magical guardian are able to give are based off of endangered or threatened animals (yes im sort of copying tokyo mew mew shhhhhhhhhh)
patton became infused with the dna of the island fox
his transformation is triggered by a small tattoo-like marking given to him by his guardian. it’s on the base of his neck
he Absolutely has a magical girl transformation
when he’s transformed, he has the ears and tail of an island fox as well as claw-like nails. his hair is the reddish-brown of the fox and his eyes are silver
his outfit is light blue with silver and white accents and dark blue sleeves
when detransformed he has blond hair and blue eyes
his magical boy weapon is a bow that he can shoot arrows of light from
his group was based out of florida and has been going strong for about 15 years. magical teens come and go as they gain their powers and retire or, tragically, lose their lives fighting
at the moment there are six people including patton
their most recent foe is a monster that has the ability to make people and things disappear, and they’re not sure what happens to them
theyre fighting this thing at night when it happens. the creature has already taken the streetlights out and the teens are fighting in heavy darkness. patton, who has better night vision due to his fox genes, sees the monster about to grab the leader, and strongest, of their group
and he makes a choice
he pushes her out of the way and gets grabbed by the monster instead.
there’s a single moment of searing pain and then the world dissolves into swirling lights and dizziness
when he wakes he’s in a strange house. he introduces himself and the person who’s taking care of him introduces himself
he’s told he fell out of some sort of portal and virgil tries to help him figure out where he is in relation to his home but. virgil doesnt recognize any of the places patton is talking about. and patton doesnt recognize any of the ones virgil says
virgil asks patton about the fact that He Is Part Fox and patton talks about the magical system back home and thats when they realize theyre dealing with dimension travel
patton stays in bed for the rest of the day and by the next hes feeling much better! so he helps virgil around the house and they get to know each other
the day after that, virgil remembers that he really needs those herbs, so he tells pat hes going out for a bit to gather them
he gets about a quarter of the way there when Another Portal Opens and dumps out a person. this time right in front of him
this person is also wearing odd
clothing, but in a different style than pattons
he checks to make sure theyre not injured (they knocked their head a bit but other than that seem fine) and carries them back home
the person is unconscious in virgil’s bed for a couple of hours longer than patton was, but he wakes up entirely coherent
he introduces himself as “logan croft”
logan
his world is one full of magic
magical creatures of all sorts live there and magic is a welcome part of society
there’s elves, fairies, merfolk, unicorns, any you can think of
magical schools are also big parts of it
people who have mastered their magic to the highest degree are called mages
everyone else are called wizards
the way magic works in this world is with spells (think harry potter but without wands)
some people are born with more magic than others and as such have a harder time controlling it when it manifests at around 10
so theyre sent to magic schools where they learn how to safely do so
if they want to stay at these schools after they learn control then they move on to higher forms of magical education to continue learning
logan is one of these students
he was born with a MASSIVE amount of magic and when it manifested he. accidentally leveled his house
everyone was fine!!!!!!! but the poor boy had absolutely no control
so he stayed at a school for people with high amounts of magic and by the time he was 13 he had enough control to leave if he wanted to
of course this being logan he Absolutely wanted to keep learning so he moved on
he was so good actually that he ended up in the best magic academy in the world
he consistently learned magic at a faster rate than his peers and so by the time he was 18 (people normally didnt until they were like 21/22) he was a mage in all but name
so he was ready to take his mage exam
the mage exam is considered both easy and the hardest and most dangerous thing you could do
its easy in the fact that you only have to cast a spell correctly
its hard and dangerous bc its a spell that NO ONE outside of historians have ever seen before and you only have 10 minutes to memorize it. things go wrong Frequently
needless to say there arent many mages and people tend to either quit before reaching that stage or fail
and failure can be painful
so logan decides to take the mage exam
the spell they are given is a long string of words dug out of an ancient book of spells and historians arent entirely sure what it does
so ofc its given to the best in the academy
logan takes his ten minutes to memorize the spell and begins chanting
now in this world, when spells are used a runic circle made of light appears under the person casting
small spells have small circles and bigger spells have larger and brighter ones
the one this spell called forwards was massive and so bright that it blinded the exam practitioners (i think thats the word?)
when the light died down logan was gone
theyre unsure whether it went right or wrong but unfortunately theres no trace of where logan had gone so theres no way to see
when he wakes hes somewhere he doesnt recognize and is being taken care of by two people
they all introduce themselves and logan gets the story about what happened to him
and he realizes hes in a different dimension with different magical rules
naturally he wants to learn everything
so he and virgil have long discussions about the differences in their magic systems
(with patton chiming in every once in a while with how bonkers magical girl powers are)
after logan gets back on his feet virgil really REALLY needs those herbs and so he decides to go back out
logan tags along this time bc he wants to see the differences between the flora and fauna of this new world
they get about half way there and once again.
a portal opens
its light blue and yellow
virgil goes “jesus christ AGAIN??????? am i a MAGNET for these things??????????”
and a person falls out
theyre another animal person. this time with scales covering the side of their face and down their arms
virgil and logan carry this whole other person back home and as soon as they walk in
patton is like “janus????!!!!!”
janus
turns out
janus is from pat’s world!!!! and the same mg group!!!!!
he became a magical boy about a year before pat did and was merged with the dna of a golden lancehead viper
so hes been a mg for like 4 years
his outfit is white with yellow bows and a black cape thing with a yellow inside. his scales are bright yellow and his eyes are heterochromatic. one is a normal eye (brown) and the other is a bright gold color with a snake-like pupil
his marking is on the inside of his left wrist
his weapon is a set of knives made of light that he can call at will and either slash with or throw
he and patton got along rather well in the current time
in the past, they,,,, didnt
it wasnt violent but they were kinda snippy at each other and janus was aggressively sarcastic which pat Did Not Appreciate
but after working together for a few years they got to know each other better and saw each other through low points in their lives and became close
janus was still a sarcastic little shit but now its more playful
he likes to suggest “pushing it down a flight of stairs” for any problem
“man i have a big math test tomorrow with a mean teacher that i didnt study for im screwed”
“push it down the stairs”
“the teacher or the test?”
“yes”
he will also aggressively remind you that Self Care Is Good And Needed
(“patton youve been patrolling for hours every night this week. go sleep”
“but i-“
“go 👏 to 👏 sleep 👏”
“bu-“
“go sleep or im going to knock you unconscious and THEN youll sleep”
“ok fine”)
anyways the dimension monster came back and despite the whole group being more careful, it got janus
luckily (to every one else) this time they managed to defeat it
once again, the pain of dimensional travel fucking SUCKED and janus was unconscious for about as long as patton was
he woke and ate a small meal and fell back asleep for like an hour
when he woke up that time he was shocked and happy to see patton
they reunite and everyone gets to know each other over the next couple days
and then virgil remembers that he STILL HASNT GOTTEN HIS HERBS and they all decide to tag along when he leaves to get them
virgil just like sighs and said “nothing better happen this time i swear to god-“
and they make it most of the way there!!!!! virgil feels a little hope!!!!
then another portal opens
its red and green
(virgil: “GODDAMMIT”)
this time TWO people fall out
the group gather up the two portal people and take them home to heal bc
holy shit they are in bad condition
theyre unconscious for a solid 2 days
Roman and remus
their world is BAD yall
the world is very scientifically advanced, and a group if scientists decided that they wanted to prove the existence of alternate universes
and they did!
but they accidentally opened a portal to a hell dimension and they couldnt close it
so the whole world became an apocalyptic nightmare
this happened when the twins were 15
theyve been surviving on their own in an apocalyptic hellscape for just over 4 years now
remus is the close range fighter with a variety of Large Sharp Knives and roman hangs back and snipes the ones going in for remus’ blind spots with a modified rifle. or if he has to fight closer range he has a modified pistol
roman also is the one to carry their medical supplies bc remus did Once and never will again
they travel together bc even though they cant stand each other some days (remus makes gross comments a Lot and roman likes to complain about the lack of conditioner)
(roman once found an old bottle of perfume and dumped it on remus’ head. in retaliation, when they were relatively safe remus found a dead squirrel and chased roman around with it for a solid 15 minutes)
theyre still twins and theyre all each other have left
currently, roman and remus are running from a creature that caught them off guard while they were sleeping
it had managed to get a few good hits on them before they managed to fight back so they both have a couple injuries
roman has a long slice down his arm and remus has some real bad claw marks down his back
the two of them find a building they can hide in while they wait for the creature to move on and discover that its some sort of science lab
they decide to explore for a bit bc they have 0 braincells between the two of them
what they dont realize is that this is one of the labs that the scientists were using to build their dimensional machines
what they do realize is that the monster found them and it starts chasing them through the facility
the two of them are in really bad shape
malnourished after living on just what they can find for 4 years, both bleeding profusely from open wounds and various injuries from other run-ins with the creatures
they arent able to run as fast as they usually are able and so they get cornered in a room with a large machine
they back up to it to stay away as long as they can and
one of them presses a button
the machine behind them whirrs to life and the two are sucked into a portal oh so similar to the one that ruined the lives of everyone on their world
roman wakes first
he wasnt hurt as badly as remus so the portal didnt take as much out of him as remus
everyone introduces themselves and roman has the his first full meal in. a long time
(he might cry a lil bit but shhhhhhh)
and now that hes awake, virgil can give him a potion to help speed up his healing
thats when romans like “holy shit MAGIC?????”
bc there was none on his world
and they all talk and get to know each other
(the other four are Horrified at how awful his world was
bc like, patton and janus’ wasnt very good either but it wasnt an apocalypse
the next day virgil leaves logan in charge and FINALLY goes and gets his GODDAMN HERBS
nothing happens this time :)
and when he gets back remus is awake
hes fed and virgil gets him a potion too
the two heal and just kind of marvel at the fact theyre safe for the first time in years
also that theres GODDAMN MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!
they still can’t believe theres actual magic
the five dimension hoppers eventually meet thomas, virgil’s talking magic cat
(virgil: “he can think and talk like a human hes not my cat”
thomas: “im totally your cat stop denying it”)
he decided to wander around the forest for a while (he does this often) and only got back after all of the portal shit ended
he is the only cat with magic and says he ALSO fell out of a portal but it was a few years before he met virgil
i dont really know what happens after this
maybe they go try to figure out how to get home?
maybe they decide to stay and live in the woods for the rest of their lives
 maybe they decide “you know what? FUCK the government” and stage a coup to make magic legal
 whichever it is definitely has a lot of found family goodness
can you tell i started running out of steam like 3/4 of the way through
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