#and also because his ex wife used to take care of Claire
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CHRIS STANS RISE!!! WE NEED TO GIVE THAT MAN MORE LOVE AND ATTENTION!!! 😤
Domestic Chris…Because that’s my specialty. 🥹
I see Chris having three kids, two boys, one girl. He’d be the type of dad to push his boys so hard, always expecting the best of the best from them. His daughter as well, but not as harsh. I see them all pretty close in age, maybe 1-2 years apart for each kid.
He’d have his boys do all sorts of sports and activities. Football, baseball, basketball, tennis, track, cross country, you name it, they do it. Chris would also help them practice, especially in football and baseball. His daughter would probably do ballet, tennis, and be in the Girl Scouts with Cecilia, and maybe do drama with Violet as well.
Also, it’s very much cannon that Chris spoils his daughter 10X more than his boys. His little girl wants to go on a Sephora shopping trip? Take his card and go crazy. His boys want to go out with their friends? Here’s $25 for the both of you.
Chris is also such a loving husband. He’d buy you gifts “Just because”. Or if you mention a new designer purse online, it would mysteriously show up on the dining table to greet you when you woke up…With a handwritten note of course. You were very much a spoiled wife, but he didn’t care, you gave him three beautiful kids for god sakes, of course he’d buy you whatever you want.
If there was ever a time any of your boys were disrespectful to you while he was gone, (Because they know better than to mess with their mother while dad’s around.) He’d give them the “You don’t disrespect MY wife.” Talk. Ugh, 😣 give me a chance Chris…☹️
- Anon! 🎀
🎀 ANON I FUCKING LOVE YOU I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT HIM BUT NO ONE REALLY DOES MUCH IN THE CHRIS TAG ANYMORE AND THAT PLUMMETS MY MOTIVATION!!!
But I'll scream with you anyday bb!!!
(I'm sorry this is so long I just couldn't help myself 😭)
Okay so I've had the idea that Chris met someone with a child from a previous relationship (Your first born son, Let's name him Oliver and call him Ollie for short! He's like 2 years older than Violet. He struggles a bit in school so they're in the same grade, along with his younger brother, after he was held back in 5th and 8th grade but that's okay! Everyone struggles!)
Ollie was like 2 when they first met. Your ex-husband was a HORRIBLE MAN, absolutely terrible to you and the only good thing he ever did was bless you with Ollie. That's it.
Chris and his wife met through work (let's be honest here, how tf else would he meet a woman? Chris is very much a workaholic.) His wife is basically the lead of the BSAA's dispatch response team (Basically what Hunnigan does at the FOS but the BSAA's version) and she's good at her job. Very strong willed and mouthy as a mf. Isn't scared to go back at anyone over the radio and definitely got into it with Chris once or twice before they officially met.
(catch me posting what happened when they met in person the first chance someone asks)
Anyway!!
After y'all start dating it doesn't take long before you introduce Chris to your son and Ollie is just OBSESSED with Chris. Like you've never seen this kid so excited to see another human being until Chris shows up. You two only started dating for a few months and Ollie already calls Chris dad. You try correcting him scared AF that Chris is gonna get freaked out but he's actually super chill with it. He's use to taking care of people, he basically raised Claire after their parents died but this little guy is much younger and a lot more fun and excitable than Claire was.
A few months into the relationship you find out you're pregnant. Chris is excited but also freaking out with how often he's gone. But everything works out and you end up having your second son, Christopher Jr but CJ for short.
You and Chris end up getting married not long after your first anniversary after the babies born. Not making a big deal out of anything just getting papers signed and having a little get together celebrating everything.
2 years go by, Ollie's in Kindergarten and CJ does daycare. You start getting horribly ill out of nowhere. So you go get checked out and oh God you're pregnant again...
(This would be the point in time where Leon starts bugging for another baby with his wife)
9 months of Chris being a nervous wreck fly by and the world meets your daughter, Talulla, Lulu for short.
Chris would be adamant on sticking the kids in after school activities once they're old enough. His boys would do sports and his baby girl in softball and girl scouts so she can hangout with her pseudo cousins. (Her being 2 years younger than Violet and 2 years older than Cecilia) Until her older cousin quits cause girl scouts are for babies (🙄)
Chris and his wife would be UBER COMPETITIVE when it came to cookie selling season. It's all out war between the Redfield's and Kennedy's every year.
I feel like Ollie would also really be musically gifted and play piano for the school choir and musicals. Lulu would Ed up wanting to do drama but be a stage hand or in the costume department. She's actually very shy.
CJ is basically Chris when he was a kid. Always doing stupid shit... Getting in trouble over the dumbest of things but looking out for others. (Definitely beat up that kid who was picking on Violet when they were 7.)
You're getting calls from the school at least once a month because CJ got in trouble for either getting into an argument with a teacher over rules or another kid tried something stupid.
#chris redfield x you#chris redfield x reader#chris redfield x y/n#chris redfield#chris redfeild x reader#🏘️ domestic life with chris redfield
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The Heart Don't Lie
AO3
It wasn’t always this way. She wasn’t always in a marriage that she regrets everyday. If they had a child? No use dwelling on what could have been.
She meet Frank the year that Jamie meet Anna. The difference, Frank was her professor. She and Jamie were dating. She had Professor Randall for history.
It was the fight, a stupid thing. They fought over her class load and the time they spent together.
“It is for our future.” She insisted, “premed is hard but necessary.”
“I can take care of us both. As the heir to Lallybroch…”
“I don’t want to be taken care of!” She screamed. It was on then. Accusations followed by more. Finally.
“I think we need some time apart.” He said before walking out the door.
She found herself crying in Professor Randall ‘s class. Jamie, out with some friends, got drunk and hooked up with Anna. She with her blonde hair and Parisian accent.
He hugged her, comforted her. One thing led to another. At first, it was nice. He, older, more mature, was a nice contrast to her hot headed ex. She changed to another history class. Anna fell pregnant and they were married. She then proposed to him, needing to find a sense of security.
Now, twenty years later, she is married to a man she never loved, not the way she should, childless, while Jamie and his wife have two daughters. They also seem to be in love.
She buries her face in her bed and sighs. Marry in haste, repent in leisure sure covers this. Marry out of spite is even worse.
She talks all the way home. He makes the appropriate responses, or so he hopes. In truth, his mind is on Claire.
When the new Randall’s moved to Boston, he was relieved. Even with a wife and new baby daughter, his heart longed for her.
He makes it work with Anna. She is a good wife and mam, a woman who has no problem staying home, raising their daughters, and letting him see to them.
It's what he wanted, right?
Wrong, it is what he wanted with Claire. Not even for her not to work, just for her to be available to him. Selfish, he knows. They spent every second they weren’t in class, together. She would study, after the loving, as he slept next to her.
Stupid. Now he is stuck, in a marriage only bearable because of his lasses. Rose Faith and Willa Brianna are his whole heart.
Anna knows this and bares it as best she can. She deserves better.
“They will be home for holiday. Should we wait until then to give them to them?” She worries they will catch a chill. Oxford isn’t much colder then Lallybroch but…
“No, let’s drive down this weekend. Surprise them and meet Rose’s new roommate.”
She smiles and kisses his cheek. Resting her head on his shoulder, she stays quiet the rest of the way home, allowing her husband to daydream about Claire.
#my writing#outlander fanfic#the heart don't lie#chapter 2#cannon divergence#outlander fandom#modern au
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Joseph Kavinsky analysis, part 2
aka no voice and no dream pack
Warnings: spoilers for the whole Raven Cycle, mentions of: drug-use, abuse, death, s*cid, xenophobia
Part 1 // Part 2
Before starting, I wanted to thank for likes and support, not only on part 1 but also on my other posts. I was writing this more for the catharsis, after months of seeing and not really speaking about a lot of stuff. It’s nice to know, somebody read it.
Some say, Kavinsky is their comfort character and, well, he will stay with me for a very long time.
But enough of that.
Let's talk about the point of view, xenophobia and the Dream Pack.
PoV
The running motif in TRC is, all antagonists get PoVs. No matter if they appear in one book (like Whelk) or reoccur (like the Greenmatles). The reader gets multiple chapters with their backstories, internal thoughts and goals. This move by the author is a double-edged sword, on one hand we get a better understanding of them but on the other, by knowing them better they become less effective antagonists and the air of mystery and surprise of what they're up-to/what they know is lost. E.g. In TDT we are first told about Colin Greenmatle and what is he capable of, making him a good threat for our main characters. But when we finally meet him in BLLB, with his attitude and scenes like dissing Ronan's Latin grammar or making cheese crackers while his wife is held at gun-point, he becomes more of a comedic antagonist than a villain to fear.
But here's the thing: I already lied to you.
In TRC, all antagonists get PoVs, except for Kavinsky.
It's a odd exception from the rule, considering Gray Man in TDT and The Wasp Demon in The Raven King, also got PoVs.
But why?
There are two things to look at.
One I already mentioned. By giving a character PoV, the reader gets better understanding of them. By not giving Kavinsky one, Margaret didn't give anything to make K or his actions clear or understandable. By not knowing his motivations, K is left to pure interpretations, but how the reader will do it mostly will be influenced by his demonetization. Of course, not everybody will just accept what the book tells them without thinking for themselves but most fans don't.
"Bang", he said softly, withdrawing the fake gun. "See you on the street."
Alone, this single line can be interpreted in many different ways. Is it K being angry and threatening Ronan? Or maybe Joseph breaking inside because he was proofen, he really has no one?
It all depends on the reader.
Second, when asked on her tumblr, if she'll ever write anything from K's pov (in 2015, before The Raven King was published), M*ggie said she won't, because: she already explored that type of character ("the thoughts and motivations of a powerful, suicidal, creative person with few inhibitions") in Sinner (2014, spin-off/companion book of her older series, The Wolves of Mercy Falls, 2009-2011 for the main three) with Cole St. Clair; that writing through PoV of such character is emotionally and mentally draining for her (which is understandable); and even if she wanted to explore it again in the future, she would through a different character's lenses than K's.
Let's talk about St. Clair.
The characters of Cole and Kavinsky have some similarities: both are drug addicts, who are rich.
That's where they end.
Cole was a famous musician, having the stereotypical rock-star life (drugs, alcohol and sleeping with fans included) with good family relationships, while K was a son of a mobster who tried to kill him and a mother who was a drug-addict herself. While their perspectives would have similarities, there is also other problems. Cole St. Clair already got PoVs in his series and a stand-alone book, Joseph Kavinsky got nothing and will get nothing. Cole had friends that cared for him and helped him, Joseph Kavinsky had his Dream Pack (which whom we don't know what type of relation he had) and his customers who we can safely say, only cared for what he can provide them with, he tried to befriend or start a relation with Ronan who rejected even the idea of it and no one even reached out to him. Cole got his happy ending and (hinted at) a girl he loved, K got rejected by everyone and committed public suicide. (Now, I heard a opinion that K didn't commit suicide, because the dragon killed him. Here is the thing, K could move out of the way multiple times, even Ronan shouted to him to move. But he didn't. He watched the dragon fly towards him and just said "The world is a nightmare.". He choose death.)
People wanted K's PoV, because they wanted to know, what pushed him to do what he did in TDT. But, in my opinion, even if M*ggie gave K pov, she would use it to further demonize him than to make the reader understand him more. She already did write a whole post exaggerating and straw-manning the canon, just to also say "Kavinsky has a very logical backstory that leads him to this place". A backstory we as the reader never truly see and one she forgot to write into her book. At the end, she truly cared only about Ronan.
Xenophobia
The Raven Cycle is a very flawed and problematic series, there are already many other posts taking about racism, misogyny, lack of diversity and many other issues with it, but in regards to Kavinsky, I'll only touch on the xenophobia. (I could talk also about portray of metal-illness, but I'm not the person to talk about it and I would feel comfortable with it.)
Kavinsky is a stereotype of a Slavic person, one we see in American media since the Cold War, especially in 80s movies. The Evil Russian trope. The son of the mobster, drug-addict, forger who can get you anything even illegal stuff, a thief.
When describing Kavinsky, one of the things Ronan mentions is: "refugee's face, hollowed-eyed and innocent". One could argue, "refugee" has many meanings, but boiling it down, is a person who came to the country to escape and seek a refuge. Many people moved to America to find a better life, in the believe of the American Dream, and many of them where driven to do that, especially from ex-Eastern Bloc countries. Kavinsky's Bulgarian, unknown if an immigrant himself or a son of immigrants, but the point still stands.
About Blue’s comment "import from somewhere else" I don't need to say much. First, obvious: You don't import people, only foreign goods, like cars. Second: this shows, he is "the other" in the eyes of the characters.
There is more to it, then just the physical description. We need to look at the outfit he wears. White tank top, white sunglasses, a small earring in one ear and a gold chain around his neck. This gives two images: one of a typical douche-bag, party asshole and the rich kid; the second of a Slavic stereotype, especially of a Russian criminal. If Margaret wanted to make K even bigger stereotype, she would dress him like a dress/gopnik, in a tracksuit.
The thing is: M*ggie could had saved the situation if she had subverted the stereotypes. E.g. K didn't wanting anything to do with the crime live, his family was forced into by circumstances or K being the guy to get stuff from, but he isn't doing it for any gain.
The truth is, K being Bulgarian doesn't add anything to his character, except for xenophobia.
(Personally, I tried to find where the surname "Kavinsky" came from. It is Slavic, that much I can tell you for sure, but the rest is my speculation and searching. My best guesses are: Russian (it appears most commonly in Russian, after USA and a use in Russia set novel) or Polish (because it has uncanny simulates to the surname "Kawiński", if it was anglicized like e.g. "Kamiński" into "Kaminsky"). This isn't a common surname and with Peter from the To All the Boys trilogy and the musician, it's hard to find any information.)
But for now, K's portray is one of the many issues.
The Dream Pack or the lack of it
The Dream Pack is the unofficial name for K's group, with whom he parties and races (the canon name is "Kavinsky's Pack of Dogs" which is ugh). They're unfortunately, a non-characters. It's bolt to even call them background characters. Their portray, or again, lack of it, leaves them as props, their only role is to be K's followers and to show K as a leader on a equal ground as Gansey. We're lead to believe, they are like Kavinsky, yet another raven boys, and to make are main characters so “not like the other raven boys”.
Problem rises in connection to the previous point, out of four members, only one has an English surname.
Prokopenko is a Ukrainian surname and for his description, we get "ears like wingnuts", "crooked shoulders" and his voice as "milky with drugs". It's said he had "recently attained official crony status", and was noted being in close desecrate to K for a while.
Later we discover Proko is a forgery, a dream creature like Matthew and Aurora. It's heavily implied the real Prokopenko is dead, but if K had something to do with it, is unknown.
He is the only character to "chortle", which Margaret said she hates and also "fratty boys and the chortling men they turn into". From this we can deduce, that not only the Dream Pack and people at K's parties but all raven boys (with the exception of the main characters) were writen like this on purpose as the personification of everything M*ggie hates.
We are also informed, he drives a Golf.
Skov, who according to a deleted scene, full name is Blake Skovron, is polish (or at least anglicized version of it). In said deleted scene he's described as "major asshole, minor bigot" (unfortunately I couldn't find it to confirm it). The only canon stuff about him is: he drives a RX-7 (Mazda RX-7).
Jiang is Chinese, making him one of three canon Asian characters we see in the series (not counting Henry's father, because he's just mentioned, same goes for the Vancouver crowd). Like Proko, his role is a little bigger. In the Raven King, after Ronan finally returns to school after a long time of skipping, he tells him: "Hey, man, I thought you'd died". Ronan doesn't respond, but tells the reader he doesn't want to see Jiang outside of his car, racing. The only other thing we know about him: he drives a Supra (Toyota Supra).
Swan is the only one with an English name, but all we know about him is: he drives Volkswagen Golf, one that matches Proko's.
(For future writers: what car a character drives, isn't a personality trait.)
With the already minimal diversity, this shows the non-Americans as the antagonists or at least "the worst". On the opposite side, we have our main characters. Richard Campbell Gansey III, who has the whitest and British name I ever saw; Adam Parrish, born and raised in Henrietta, Virginia; Ronan Lynch, son of a Irish immigrant, whose Irish identity starts and ends on tit-bits; Blue Sargent, who is half-tree and ambiguous, but was drawn as white by the author multiple times (Yes, I am aware of the Instagram post, but Margaret herself said, she isn't confirming anything that isn't already written in her books. She couldn't even confirm Adam's hair color and made a joke out of it.)
The only exception is Noah Czerny, whose surname is Slavic (probably Czech), but this bares no effect on his character.
The Dream Pack are the whole communities babies, created by head-canons and fanons, their relations with Kavinsky and themselves are explored, who they are as people, their appearance, their interests... This is beautiful how many different versions and interpretations of non-existing characters is there. (I, myself also made a version for a rewrite, based partly on the fanon.)
But at the end of the day, the fans did the author's job of creating believe friend group and in the end, their only function was to show, Kavinsky is a king, just like Gansey.
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Introduction to the ‘Shadowplay’ characters
Max McLaughlin
(Taylor Kitsch)
31 years old, raised in Brooklyn, third generation in NYPD. His mother was a German immigrant and he has a big brother, Moritz. One evening when Max was nine, his father came home drunk and had an argument with Max's mother. He threatened her with his service weapon and a shot went off, which killed her on the spot. Max ran to his dead mother, which provoked his father even more, so that he pointed the gun at Max. He shot again, but Moritz threw himself into the line of fire, intercepted the bullet and thus saved his little brother's life. The father then committed suicide. A traumatic experience that connects the brothers for better and worse to this day.
Max married a girl from the neighborhood early, but the relationship didn't last long. There is something in him that keeps him from enjoying life, from engaging in relationships. Today Max has little contact with his wife, but they take care of their ten-year-old son Jimmy together. Max writes a letter every week and speaks to him regularly on the phone.
Thanks to his mother, Max speaks German quite well. She also gave her sons German names, derived from the famous brothers Max and Moritz, who are notorious for their vicious pranks.
Max travels to Berlin with the attitude of a blue-eyed idealist and is there responsible for rebuilding the Berlin police in the American sector. But there is also a personal reason for Max to come to Berlin: he suspects his long-missing brother there.
Elsie Garten
(Nina Hoss)
Late 30s, born and raised in Berlin. Torn like the city of Berlin. Her husband Leopold is missing in Russia. But Elsie suspects he's still alive. She is right: he is being held in a prison camp in Berlin. Elsie is going to spy for the Russians to get her husband back.
To get more food stamps, Elsie first worked as a rubble woman. Then she got the idea to apply to the police, and she quickly rose to the top. This work makes just as much money, but it is not as physically demanding. Nowadays Elsie believes that she can create a better Berlin, a new Berlin built on the ashes of the ruins.
As in most police districts in Berlin, mainly women work in Elsie's district. Elsie is the head of the section, her district is in the American sector.
Elsie's noble goal is to create a better future for herself and her husband, whom she knows deep down that she will see him again. But the price she has to pay for it is high.
Tom Franklin
(Michael C. Hall)
45 years. American Vice Consul. Eloquent and clever. He studied law at Stanford because his family wanted it. Art because he wanted it that way. He also made the decision to go to Germany against the will of his family.
Franklin's official job in Berlin, his position as Vice Consul, is more representative, but his real mission is espionage. Its job is to control the Russian sector. His approach is characterized by pure self-interest. Berlin is the perfect place for him.
Tom Franklin is Max's official supervisor. He encourages Max to gather information for him that he can use for his espionage work.
Franklin is married to Claire. Their relationship has gotten a bit old, which may also be due to the dominant appearance of Franklin.
Claire Franklin
(Tuppence Middleton)
35 years old, born and raised in Sussex, England. Nobody knows what it really looks like inside her. On the one hand she enjoys life in the upper class, on the other hand you can see the great loneliness in her.
Parties and glamor, the founder of the American Housewives Club in Berlin, always a smile and a brisk saying on her face: She is the perfect host, but she drinks too much and has numerous affairs. When Claire meets Max, she is immediately drawn to him.
Claire's father and her two brothers were all killed in the war while they were in Washington D.C. met Franklin. She only experienced the war from across the Atlantic, but her brothers and father were close to her and her hatred of the Germans runs deep. The dark side that shapes her character emerges when she realizes that her husband Tom is helping ex-Nazis escape.
Moritz McLaughlin
(Logan Marshall-Green)
35 years old. Max's older brother. Soldier of the American 45th Infantry Division. Reported missing, but active on the streets of Berlin with his own agenda: He tracks down old Nazis on whom he wants revenge and kills them.
His sense of justice is biblical and relentless, highly pathological. A traumatic experience in his childhood and the war destroyed him.
The picture stories of Max and Moritz provide him with the basis for his cruel acts of revenge. In his twisted worldview, he hopes Max will join him on his raid.
Karin
(Mala Emde)
25 years old. Before the war, Karin worked as a waitress in a beer house in Neukölln. She was an all-round optimistic and happy girl. Then came the war and then the Allied occupation. Lonely and a little naive, she meets two sympathetic American soldiers in a bar. But the two turn out to be brutal rapists. She barely escapes death and then has to find out that she is pregnant.
In her need, Karin decides to contact a man from whom she has only heard rumors so far: the "angel maker" who helps women with abortions. She knows that she will have to pay a price for it, but has no idea how high it will be. Karin is developing more and more from victim to perpetrator. The humble waitress from Neukölln becomes one of the most important handlers for the "angel maker" by helping him expand and secure his empire.
Hermann "Engelmacher" Gladow
(Sebastian Koch)
Mid 50s. Works in all sectors. Brutally. Intelligent. Compassionate. "Der Engelmacher" is Berlin's Al Capone and his expertise extends to robbery, kidnapping, black market, murder and prostitution. He has a team of 70 people and most of them are women. He is discreet and few people know who he really is - except for the people who work for him. He is a legend in Berlin and everyone calls him "angel maker".
Before the war he was a gynecologist. His nickname is derived from the fact that he helps women with abortions, which they mostly cannot afford. For his service he asks the women favors. These favors cover the entire spectrum of his criminal machinations: from prostitution, smuggling and espionage to murder. "Engelmacher" is as complex as the city of Berlin - he is a villain, but also shows a lot of compassion for the victims. This compassion ensures the loyalty of his people.
#taylor kitsch#Shadowplay#Max McLaughlin#logan marshall-green#Michael C Hall#Tuppence Middleton#nina hoss
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An Awkward favor (reposted, since I screwed up response in last one)
It's been about a week since Jessica told Luke that she was pregnant and they were going to be parents. It was news that Luke was excited to hear even tho it scares the hell out of both him and Jessica they were still quite happy. However his wife's unrelenting hatred of doctors is a REAL PAIN IN THE ASS!
It came down to either she bit the bullet and see a doctor or Luke did something that was completely uncomfortable for all involved. It took a day or two for him to get up the nerve to make the call, funny the man can let a grenade explode in his face but calling her made him hesitant.
After finally making the call a meeting time was set..a neutral spot in a Manhattan coffee shop. Luke debated taking Jessica with him, I mean this was basically walking off a cliff for him because who knows what his firecracker of a wife will do but this is for the sake of their baby so he really didn't have a choice.
They arrived about 20 minutes early and found a table towards the back. It wasn't long until a woman walked up to them and sat down, she wore a short jacket to cover up her dark blue scrubs, the meeting time apparently coincided with her next shift. Luke stood up, pulling out a chair for her, smiling at the woman to cover up the awkward feelings he had seeing her again.
"Hey Claire, thanks for coming."
Claire eyes him for a second before smiling and addresses Jessica holding out her hand. "You're Jessica Jones? Hi I'm Claire it's nice to meet you."
Luke thrown a little when she ignores him but not so much that he doesn't notice the wedding ring on her finger.
"You're married..Congratulations I'm happy for you."
j
Jessica had always thought that she was the one with mental issues in their marriage. Apparently she was wrong, and Luke had hidden depths of crazy of his own. Because what kind of guy thought his ex wanted to be the baby doctor person- whatever, she wasn't an expert on pregnancy related terminology yet- of his current wife? Or that she, said wife, would be comfortable with the idea of a woman her husband assumedly slept with looking at her naked?
The only reason she even agreed to a meeting with Claire to see if the woman didn't laugh in both their faces, which was no less than Jessica expected, was because Luke trusted her. And for Jessica, that said a lot. She was very skittish with any touch from anyone not within her tiny circle of trusted ones, doctors included. Even pre Kilgrave- after all, it was doctors who made her and Phillip what they were. But if Luke trusted someone, she in turn trusted him, which was more than could be said for a random stranger.
Besides, this was not an ordinary baby or pregnancy. If she had to see a doctor, it had to be one with superhuman experience.
"Yeah, hi," Jessica nodded stiffly, giving Claire a brief glance over and wondering if the woman was doing the same towards her. She shook her hand as quickly as was minimally polite and as was her way, got to it.
"You probably wonder why the hell your ex would ask you to come meet his wife when she isn't obviously about to die, so lets get to that so you can turn us down and go. Right, I'm pregnant, and I hate doctors, because of many reasons, and he says I have to go to some doctor. And he says he trusts you, and I trust him, but obviously with you being ex and me being current you're going to say no. So, sorry for wasting your time."
She starts to back away, ready to leave since she assumes she just had the whole conversation for everyone.
Claire looks at Jessica bewildered. "Excuse me, first of all you don't know me..At all! Second I'm a medical professional so if someone needed my help I have to help them third ain't nobody thinking about yo man or dying to see you naked. Now how about you asked me what you wanted to ask me and let me decide on rather or not I'll do Boo for your skinny ass!" With that she turns to Luke and begins cussing at him in what is probably the dirtiest Spanish on the planet.
Luke holding up his hands in his defense says the equivalent of Yes yes, I'm sorry, but please we need your help back to her in Spanish and smiles at her,
Claire tries to bring herself to cuss more but sighs before turning back to Jessica. "Look.." sighing again "You need someone that knows how to monitor you and your bady.. And I have experience dealing with you kind of people..So look Luke's a jackass but..Damn that's all I got he's a jackass, so let me help you."
Turning back to Luke. "I don't do this stuff for free anymore, this won't be cheap because some of the stuff we'll need is expensive..But Mr. Big Time that shouldn't be a problem for you."
Luke nods yes. "Whatever you need I'll take care of it..But this is absolutely on the down low Claire..So not even your husband can know about this." He looks at Jessica concerned "Guess it comes to you Jessica, what do you want to do..If not the hospital or Claire, something else?"
"We'll do whatever you want." Claire moves closer and smiles again "This is some awkward shit but I can do this..Hell I've done harder with less than what your husband just agreed to buy and not be cheap about it either." Giving Luke the side eye
"Its gonna be ok.. I'm off Sunday, I'll come by the club and take a look at you."
Luke interrupts her "Actually we have a place in Harlem, it's nice I'll text you the address."
Claire gives Jessica one more look of assurance.
Jessica turned back to face Claire, taken aback by her attitude. This was the first time she had met someone who was actually more verbally feisty than she herself, and for a second she just stared at her, a little stunned by her response. She was still processing that the woman had more than just dished back at what Jessica had laid out at her, and was in the middle of turning over in her mind how Claire had figured out she was squeamish about her seeing her naked while simultaneously calling her skinny, before the Spanish flurry of exchanges started.
"That's fine, anyway I have to get to the hospital to start my shift, so see you Sunday?" She looks at Jessica waiting for an answer.
Jessica, who knows about as many Spanish words as might be uttered in a Taco Bell commercial, outright stares when Luke starts responding back to her in Spanish in return. She had no idea that he knew Spanish, let alone enough to be able to understand the rapid, angry-sounding spew of words that Claire had just flung at him. Her taut shoulders ease up a little as she watches, and she slowly starts to smirk.
“Damn, Luke. I’m starting to see a pattern, you really like women that say it how they see it, huh.”
When they finally start speaking English again and Claire addresses her directly, Jessica stiffens, not liking her calling Luke a jackass, but she can get why she would feel that way, considering the position he’s putting her in as his ex.
“So…wait, you’ll actually do this? Even though you sounded like you wanted to take his head off a second ago?”
When Claire continued to assure her, she shifts nervously, playing with the sleeve of her jacket.
“What stuff do you need? The expensive stuff you’re talking about. And, uh, what do you need to do to me, exactly?”
She hesitates, hating as usual to have to actually verbalize any kind of feelings-related, vulnerability-involved things, but if this woman is going to be her doctor, it’s more than likely going to be a necessity, so she makes herself spit it out.
“It’s not really the you being ex thing that trips me out, okay.” She took a breath, then ground out, “ I have PTSD. I don’t always do great with people touching me. And the last few encounters I’ve had with doctors have been the doctors that made me what I am, and the doctor that made my rapist who he was. Who also happened to be his father, and trying to save his life, but that’s a whole different story. I’m not trying to be an asshole, I just…..it isn’t anything personal.”
She looked towards Claire, but not directly at her as she finally answered. “If you’re willing, I guess I’ll try. I want the baby to be okay. Just…you have to tell me what you’re doing, and why, and stuff.”
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Updated list of the bitches in this system because Gods know we needed it, go!
• Fae- Actual owner of the body. Has not been fully “themself” since they were like 6 (when Harl got here). Always co-cons with someone because they can’t stand being out alone. Doesn’t know or care what we do with their life. Terrified of people. Has left us alone for extended periods of time. If you think you’ve talked to them, there’s a 99% chance it was actually Claire, Amanda, or Becky. Actually a very sweet kid, but very hurt. Will go to the end of the world for their friends. Can hold a grudge like nobody’s business. Paints themself as a bitch but is a softie. Their mom cannot tell the difference between them and Becky. Diabetic, to Nidia’s displeasure. Closet Gryffindor turned Slytherin in order to survive.
• Amanda – Our system’s “guard dog”/Head Bitch in Charge. Much more complicated than that. The real author of Fae’s thigh scars (barely visible now), and maybe the only reason we made it through high school. The little voice that says “kill everyone and blame it on me”. Zero concern for consequences for herself. Impulse control consists of “Jail is awful and Fae doesn’t deserve it”. She’s over 30.
• Lisbeth (Sally)- Just…Sally. The other voice that wants to kill everyone but doesn’t because she actually thinks about the consequences of her actions. Max is technically her partner, but we don’t talk about that (you can ask). I think she’s 30-something, but might as well be Fae’s age.
• Claire- Possibly Fae’s projection of herself into different universes. She can be 6, 17, 24 and 35. Last name Constantine. From Liverpool. Awful accent. Please don’t call her Australian. Another closet Gryffindor turned Slytherin. Most of Fae’s friends are actually hers. Has been Fae for longer than Fae has been Fae. Likes soccer and we’re sorry. Punk. Hella Punk. Also hella broke.
• Mara- Claire’s sister (maybe twin). Approach with caution. (One of the several sexual alters, can be the same ages as Claire) Responsible for most of Fae’s awful dating decisions.
• Valentina- Rarely comes out, but she’s apparently God? We don’t know. Seems like she knows everyone, though. She always looks 20-something, but we know she’s older.
• Nidia- Claire’s daughter and the pure incarnation of Fae’s ADHD. A Jedi. Weirdest kid EVER. Super compassionate. Wears heart on her sleeve. Can be 5, 9, 16 and 21. Impulse control is 100% artificial, but existent. Can, like Amanda, drink up to 3 cans of Monster Energy Drink in a row without batting a lash. Will eat ALL THE CANDY. The reason we need to carry an extra insulin syringe with us most of the time. Pours fun dip and sweetarts into her drinks. The kind of kid child leashes were invented for.
• Hellena- Mara’s daughter. STAY AWAY. Evil incarnate. Abusive A.F. Can and will destroy you. In her 20’s
• Christine- Hell’s identical twin. Remember that girl in Mean Girls who wants to bake a cake out of sunshine and rainbows and smiles? Christine is that cake. Rarely out. Same age as Hell.
• Evey- Hell and Chris’ big sister. That one kid with the pink hair and lots of tattoos. Zero impulse control. Always looks like a teenager for some reason (not over 25)
• Vlad- Agender/Genderqueer mystical creature of the forest. Valentina’s child. Awesome person in general. Permanently 17.
• Harley- Yup. THAT Harley. You know the drill. She’s actually the one who makes all the fun plans because she’s the one who has the energy for it. Gets along with everyone until she doesn’t. Can drink us all under the table. Can drink you under the table. Has been Fae for longer than Claire has been Fae. Was the first one here, so she has tattoo privileges. And dating privileges. And everything privileges, basically. If I say how old she is, I may not live to see another day. Fae’s real mum. Will take you to Petco on exam week to pet puppies. Will yell “doge!” out loud.
Pets every dog. Will steal Teddy from Max.
• Edward- Mr. Nigma, sir. Somehow has better makeup skills than all the girls here combined. If his attitude was as nice as his eyebrows, he’d rule the world by now. EVERYTHING HAS QUESTION MARKS. Knows more than anyone. Is actually a genius. Wastes his time trying to school the little ones (and trying to get Naya to use proper words). Smug bastard. Probs 40-something.
• Cass- Also from comics. EVERYTHING IS YELLOW (yiyo). Doesn’t talk much, but is always fun to have around. Will make you watch animated movies and take you to Starbucks. Will also make you work out. Can be 5, 9, 18 and 25. Smol Cass is a fan of pokemon. If it’s yellow, it belongs to her.
• Naya- Cass’ child. Has her own language, featuring words like “kaijukata”, “pakato”, and “omashii” (“Kaiju attack”, an insult of her own invention, and her word for “mother”.) There are no sidewalks, only pedestrian lanes. Biggest Kaiju Enthusiast. Wants to be Mako Mori.
• M.J.- Has been here for as long as Harley has. Isn’t around as much. The difference between her and Claire is that you can actually understand what MJ says when she gets mad. Probs 25 forever.
• Danni- Amanda’s daughter. Will also fuck you up. Has the weirdest kinks. 23
• Miranda- Danni’s daughter. Don’t ask. Also a sexual alter. 21
• Martha- Miranda’s sister. Level-headed. A psychiatrist. 21. Actually the most mature person in this head, along with Tári.
• Alice- Nidia’s daughter. Also a psychiatrist. Likes psychoanalyzing people. Type 1 bipolar. Thinks all Arkham inmates are humans and wants to help. Will probably end up as an Arkham Inmate herself. Age slides. Toddler Alice is the devil. Can be 5, 9, and 21
• Alyssa- Mara’s best friend. Take Alice out of wonderland and teach her ballet, then add a sprinkle of Luna Lovegood. Permanently 17-ish.
• Robin- Alice’s little sister. Wants to be Carrie Kelly when she grows up. Terrified of squirrels. Can be 5 and 18. Lesbiab. Lesebeb. Girls. Yes.
• Tári- Alice and Robin’s eldest sister. Autistic. Genius extraordinaire. Loves to talk to Eddie. Often one of them leaves the conversation feeling stupid (it isn’t Tári). Loves Legos. REALLY LOVES LEGOS. Forensic Anthropologist/ wants to be Bones when she grows up. Vegetarian. Can be 12/17/21.
• Frances- Harley’s kid. Don’t ask, this was super weird. Frances herself is super weird. She hears voices. The voices tell her to do things. She rarely listens. Actually super polite. Has “opal” hair. 18-20. We don’t really know. If we’re gonna have a sub-system, it will probably be because of Frankie.
• Shilo- Shilo Wallace. Infected by her genetics. Her nightmares are the worst. Once made Amanda and Sally fight over a pair of combat boots just so she could get to keep them. Probably Becky’s best friend in here.
• Bellatrix- That one got here on her own. Over 50. Still looks great.
• Azula- also got here on her own.
• Cassiopeia- Bella’s biggest mistake. Best teacher ever. Resident hipster chick. Is actually here to keep a little group of alters from causing too much mayhem. 28.
• Ascella- Lesbian extraordinaire. Sees dead people. I’m not even kidding. Permanently 23.
• Jamie Moriarty- Another one who got here on her own. Our self confidence boosts and power trips. Will maybe kill someone. Better than you and is not afraid to let you know. Fae’s teachers were terrified of her.
Everyone’s terrified of her; I don’t know who we think we’re kidding. 32.
• Lestat- Fae’s gay vampire boyfriend. Is rarely around anymore. Probably for the best. 260-ish years old. Prick.
• Lindsay - THE definitive Sexual alter. From a comic book oneshot. Amanda on steroids, but if Amanda knew how to socialize. Loves horror, movies, photography and monsters. 26.
• Becky - Called “morbid” for a reason. Disabled as all fuck. Autistic/ADHD, connective tissue disorder. A lawyer. Loves to argue. Jon Crane’s wife (at least here). 30ish. Always cold and always in pain. If we cancel plans, it’s most likely her fault and she’s sorry.
• Liliana - Necromancer. Big Titty Goth GF. We love and cherish her, alcoholism and all. Will never be over Jace and she knows it.
• Chandra - Pyromancer extraordinaire with severe ADHD. A lot like Fae in a lot of ways. Decidedly Pansexual, thank you very much. 25.
• Vraska - Ravnican to the core, but also a fantastic pirate. Great leader, good friend, fun to be around. Has the huskiest voice in the system. Has the worst flashbacks out of all of us. Can be 19 and 29.
• Kari - Vraska and Jace’s kid. Hypermelanistic gorgon, telepath like her dad. Fun to be around. Can be 7, 12 and 25.
• Ral - Very very Izzet, and very very gay, and we love him for it. Very intelligent, good at fixing and making things with his hands. Confident, charismatic, and a workaholic. Tomik’s husband. Sometimes with Max. In his 40’s
• Tomik - Ral’s husband. Quiet, but very caring and polite.Also very smart and hard-working, always loves to learn new things and meet new people. 27-ish. Very gay, too. Makeup skills up there with Eddie’s.
• Teysa - Tomik’s boss. A Boss Ass Rich Bitch, and we love her lots for it. Very polite and interesting to be around. Could buy us all and our families ten times. Old, but looks to be in her early 30’s.
• Avacyn - An angel from Innistrad. Here to protect us. Really likes listening to old pop-punk and emo music with Max. Very sweet to be around, although she can be a little literal-minded.
• Olivia - A Vampire and a bitch. Liliana’s...ex? Something. A lot like Teysa, but much more fun-loving and impulsive.
• Nahiri - Doesn’t come out much. Stern but caring, very savvy, doesn’t take anyone’s crap. Can hold on to grudges like her life depends on it.
#alterblogging#I'm probably missing people but oh well#here's the main ones#yes there's a lot of MTG peeps here#they're recent#we love them
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The Cromwell Clan
I was inspired by @hogwartsmysterystory‘s post discussing the Whitecross family, so...here you are! Information on Carewyn’s mother Lane’s family, the Cromwell Clan!
The Cromwell Clan...
...noster familia, nostra gloria
Notable Members:
Charles Cromwell (second from right) // Patriarch
Marilyn Burke-Cromwell // Matriarch (deceased)
Pearl Cromwell-Dupont (far left) // Eldest; married; 2 sons
Claire Cromwell-Yaxley (far right) // Second-eldest; married; 3 daughters, 1 son
Blaise Cromwell (second from left) // Youngest and Heir; widower; 1 son
Disowned Relatives:
Lane Cromwell (far right) // Second-youngest; eloped with a Muggle
Jacob Cromwell (far left) // Son of Lane
Carewyn Cromwell (middle) // Daughter of Lane
Blood Status: Pureblood (technically)
The Cromwells are not considered part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight largely because they don’t have a problem with wizards who have Muggle ancestry or relatives, just Muggles specifically. If you are a Muggle-hating witch or wizard, even if you have Muggle blood yourself, you’re fine in their book.
Houses: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin
The Cromwell clan is unique in that, unlike many other magical families, they encourage a wide swath of values among their children, promoting glory, loyalty, academic achievement, and ambition. This means that, although Charles, Marilyn, and Blaise were all in Slytherin, there is a pretty even swath of family members from all of the houses. Charles’s children specifically (that is, Pearl, Claire, Lane, and Blaise) even each ended up in one of the four houses.
Associates:
The Malfoy family
The Urquart family
The Dupont family
The Burke family
The Yaxley family
The Fudge family
The Crouch family
The Bones Family
R (suspected, but unconfirmed)
History:
The Cromwell Clan is a magical family whose origins are steeped in some mystery. The first time the Cromwell name appears is in an old set of records referring to a Pendragon Cromwell, who served as a member of the Wizard’s Council in the 14th century and spoke out in defense of Nicholas Malfoy, who had been accused of killing his Muggle tenants and then disguising their deaths as a result of the Black Death. It is thought that the Cromwell Clan could have some connection to the Muggle family of the same name, which originally hailed from Lincolnshire, a stone’s throw from the Cromwell Clan’s estate in Yorkshire -- but the Cromwell Clan vehemently dismisses any such correlation.
Whatever their origins, the Cromwell Clan’s members permeated the ranks of every early Wizard Council and (later) the Ministry of Magic. No Cromwell ever became Minister for Magic (though not for lack of trying), but they have still risen to high positions at the Ministry and other magical institutions like St. Mungo’s and Gringotts. Charles Cromwell, the current Patriarch, is a prominent figure in the Wizengamot who has befriended many of its members and ex-members across ideological lines, such as Amelia Bones and Barty Crouch, Sr. His only son and heir, Blaise, is a prominent Unspeakable. Pearl Dupont is a well-regarded Ministry employee in line to become the next Head of the Department of Magical Transportation, while her sister Claire is the stay-at-home wife of Marek Yaxley, a prominent Hitwizard and twin brother of convicted Death Eater Corban Yaxley.
The Cromwell Clan’s most singular feature is their absolute loyalty to their own family above all else, which may contribute to why no member has yet achieved the top job of Minister -- if there is ever a choice between the Wizarding World and the advancement of their family as a whole, a Cromwell always chooses their family. But don’t take this to mean that they are an affectionate family. The Cromwell Clan in general is incredibly demanding of their members, with their patriarchs and matriarchs exerting great control over the rest of the family, from what career paths they pursue, to who they associate with, to where they live, to who they marry. No child of the Clan is ever given much privacy or freedom -- the Cromwell estate is an emotionally suppressed, suffocating, cold prison more than a “home.” Although the leaders of the Clan will claim they’re only acting this way out of love, to any keen outside observers, their behavior is much more indicative of extreme possessiveness rather than selfless, sincere caring. This also prompts many to see the Cromwells rather like a mafia family -- one you’d want to think twice before joining.
Wealth: The Cromwell Clan has considerable wealth, but they are rather like mythological dragons in the way they hoard it. They only buy enough to make themselves appear prosperous in front of others; in their own home, however, they are shockingly austere, eating incredibly cheap meals and never giving their children more than they need. The thought process among the Clan is that their money must only be used to invest in the future, rather than for any short-term enjoyment. This therefore means, though, that when they do decide to buy their children new clothes or gifts, they are of excellent quality, and there are certain strings attached. One must both take care of those belongings exquisitely well and use them to ”get ahead” somehow. If you borrow money from a Cromwell, you are expected to pay it back with interest -- if for whatever reason you don’t, then you are likely to be very sorry indeed.
Coat of Arms: The Cromwell family’s Coat of Arms features the head of a Hebridrian Black dragon, one of only two dragon breeds in the United Kingdom, specifically Scotland. They are characterized by their aggressiveness; dark, rough scales; arrow-like spiked tail; bright purple eyes; and bat-like wings. Dragons in general can symbolize strength, longevity, wisdom, and untapped knowledge. In Chinese culture, black dragons in particular symbolize power and vengeance and predict the arrival of thunderstorms. They also feature two light blue crowns, which are the same color as the family’s trademark “Cromwell blue eyes,” and symbolize power, victory, honor, and glory. The shield’s colors are black (for authority and mystery) and red (for love and aggression).
Motto: “Noster familia, nostra gloria” translates to “Our family, our glory.”
Face Claims:
Charles Cromwell ~ Jeremy Irons
Pearl Cromwell Dupont ~ Nicole Kidman (with curly red hair)
Claire Cromwell-Yaxley ~ Sandra Bullock (with brown hair)
Blaise Cromwell ~ Chris Pine
Lane Cromwell ~ Claire Danes
Jacob Cromwell ~ Timothee Chalamet
Carewyn Cromwell ~ Sadie Sink
***Coat of Arms created using WorldSpinner.Com.***
#about carewyn#about jacob#about lane#hphm#hogwarts mystery#carewyn cromwell#jacob cromwell#lane cromwell
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Lost Rewatch: 2x20 Two For The Road
Ah, Ana Lucia episode! Ana is easily the most interesting character this season, so it will be good to further explore this amazing... oh
Another fun Easter Egg - all the numbers on the Police cars
Oh wow, a parent in this show who isn’t awful! This means Ana has to die
Ben says Ana killed two ‘good people, who were leaving [her] alone’, which... yeah, that’s just wrong on so many levels, isn’t it?
Also, Ben sent Goodwin to the Tailies as an effective death sentence, so why does he care about that one?
Christian continues on his quest to interact with every damn character in this show
So, Christian’s nickname make three separate instances of someone being called Tom in this show. You really couldn’t come up with anything else?
Also Christian naming Ana Lucia after his son’s ex-wife is... unsettling
Ben calls the ‘Man In Charge’ - presumably Jacob - a ‘great man, a brilliant man - but not a forgiving man’. One, how does he know that, given that they’ve never met?
Two, one of the few times we see Jacob, he forgives Richard, who was trying to kill him. So I would call him fairly forgiving
Oh look, the one time that Sawyer refuses a gun from someone. And she gets it anyway!
Did Christian seriously think that showing up to Claire’s aunt’s house in the middle of the night and screaming at her was going to work?
So, I’m fairly sure that this is the last time Shannon gets brought up until season 6. And yet Boone cameos in basically every one. Sometimes, life really isn’t fair
So Ana’s plan was to prey on the fact that Sawyer is a horny bastard. And it works
Kate who?
So in the Sawyer episode, Sawyer enters the bar in Sydney, and then Christian immediately starts talking to him, implying that he got there first. But here, Sawyer bangs into the car Ana and Christian are sitting in, enters the bar, and Christian has a short conversation before going in himself
You see, writers? This is what happens when you use cameos without thinking properly about it!
Not as bad as the Shannon-Jack timeline screw-up, but still... you think the nerds aren’t watching you?
22 at Michael’s count plus Walt makes 23 people at the fake village when Michael gets there
The Jin/Hurley thumbs up gag doesn’t make that much sense to me, but it’s still quite cute
Jack is such a prick sometimes. There was no reason to burn Sawyer’s book
Jeez, just say you’re going after the Others and Sawyer will give over the guns, no problem
We got nowhere near enough characterisation for Ana, but her conversation with her mother still makes me cry
Okay, so Ana not being able to shoot ‘Henry’ is an interesting development. Now she has to learn how to use non-violent solutions to her problems, learn to let other people take charge sometimes; in short learn to be a better person
This is nowhere near the end of her arc. The writers do know that... right?
RIGHT?!
No, apparently not
GODDAMN IT
OH, AND LIBBY TOO?
What is it with this season and killing off underdeveloped characters?
That being said, it is an incredible cliffhanger
Overall Review:
Okay, so I know that Michelle Rodriguez only signed up for one season, with the understanding being that she’d be killed off near the end. The time she had isn’t what I’m annoyed at. What I am annoyed at is how poorly the writers used that time. She’s in the background almost the whole season. Ana Lucia deserved more development, so her death is more of a gut punch. How about, for example, in The Whole Truth, Ana and Sayid finding the balloon is the A-plot and Sun being pregnant is the B-plot, instead of the other way around? Then we can get more of Ana’s backstory, and her relationship with Sayid can be explored more. We get one scene where she apologises, which is great, but there needed to be more build up. Ana deserved to grow as a character before she was unceremoniously killed off!
Overall Rating: 7.1/10
Almost identical to Abandoned, for almost the exact same reason. The only reason it wins is because I like Ana slightly more
#luna rewatches lost#abc lost#lost show#lost#2x20#lost 2x20#two for the road#ana lucia cortez#ben linus#benjamin linus#henry gale#goodwin#christian shepard#shannon rutherford#boone carlyle#richard alpert#sawyer#james ford#james sawyer ford#kate austen#jack shephard#michael dawson#walt lloyd#claire littleton#jin soo kwon#hurley#hugo reyes#hugo hurley reyes
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Umbrella Academy Rewatch 1x08
1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07
The race is now on, as Allison attempts to find Vanya, in order to warn her that her boyfriend, Leonard, is actually Harold Jenkins, a convicted murderer who is believed to be the man who will bring about the apocalypse.
As Allison drives out to the cabin that had belonged to Harold Jenkins’ grandmother in the hopes that she can find Vanya there, she remembers an event that had happened a year ago. She had been putting her daughter, Claire to bed and had just finished telling her a bedtime story about some of the exploits of herself and her brothers when they were still involved with their superhero stuff with the Umbrella Academy. Particularly a time when they stopped a bank robbery. When the story is over, Claire kept insisting on hearing another story, but Allison insisted it was time for her to go to sleep. When Claire started to get demanding, Allison ended up using her power on her, by saying ‘I heard a rumor that you’re really tired, and what to go to sleep.’ This ended up getting Claire to back down and go to bed without a fuss. Unfortunately, Allison’s now-ex-husband, Patrick, had witnessed this, and is clearly not happy.
Okay, so... is this the incident that resulted in the courts stripping Allison of her custody to her daughter, mandating that she had to take court-ordered therapy sessions before she could get visitation rights? If so, that’s really stupid. It’s possible I’m just not getting it, but why exactly was this such a big deal? I don’t get if. It’s not as if she was using her powers to force Claire to get her beer while she sat in front of the TV all day instead of taking care of her kid, or anything neglectful like that. She was getting her kid to go to sleep. I think we can all agree that kids that age need a consistent sleep schedule. I’m fairly certain any mother in the land would have done the same thing if they were in Allison’s shoes. Was there more to this story? Was their some sort of concern that Allison using her power on Claire would have caused her permanent brain damage? Was it a case of X-Men-esque paranoia? I believe, in the X-Men comics, a lot of people feared the mutants on principle simply because they had out-of-the-ordinary abilities and therefore persecuted the mutants. Did the courts have similar prejudice against Allison going on? I don’t understand!
Regardless, this incident has ended up being traumatic to Allison, as she’s now sworn off using her powers ever again. And this is driven home when we hear Allison’s memories of other times she used her power on others. Some seem pretty innocent. Case in point one moment when she used her power to get someone (probably Claire) to like broccoli. Eating vegetables is important, after all. But with others, I can see why Allison is feeling like she was abusing her powers. For instance, there were apparently times she used her power to force someone to be her friend, land an acting role, or even got someone to love her. Yeah, I can agree those examples are pretty bad. Eventually, Allison makes it to the cabin, But when she gets there, nobody is home. Which makes sense, since Vanya and Harold/Leonard are still at the hospital following the incident the night before.
Speaking of which, we then switch over to them. Harold/Leonard wakes up Vanya, who had been sleeping in the chair next to his hospital bed. Vanya is surprised to see he’s already dressed, and even more so when Harold/Leonard announces he’s leaving. After all, he probably still needs to be observed one more time before being officially discharged. But Harold/Leonard states that’s not necessary, as the hospital just wants him to come back tomorrow so he can be fitted with a prosthetic eye. Vanya, upon being reminded that he lost an eye, starts to apologize, but he waves her apology off. They then head off. But on the way, they’re stopped by a nurse, reminding Harold/Leonard that the doctor hadn’t discharged him yet. Vanya is momentarily confused by this, as that statement has contradicted what he’d told her, but Harold/Leonard insists that he’s ready to leave, so he simply signs the voluntary discharge papers. Before they leave, Vanya asks about the three other men that had attacked them, who were also brought into the hospital after being injured by Vanya’s power explosion. The nurse informs her that two of the men were DOA, but the third man was still alive, though in critical condition.
Back at the Umbrella Academy mansion, Luther wakes up with a massive hangover from his night of drinking at the rave. He is shocked to find that a naked woman is lying in bed next to him, indicating that he brought someone back from the rave for sex. Klaus then swings by Luther’s room and proceeds to simply be a typical brother, good-naturally teasing the flustered Luther for it, especially when he realizes this was Luther’s first time with a woman. Klaus then gets serious, telling Luther that they’re having a family meeting downstairs.
When Luther makes it down to the kitchen, Klaus pours him a cup of coffee, which Number 5 (who is clearly feeling better) promptly steals. Ghost Ben is also there, but of course, only Klaus is aware of that. While Klaus voices his awareness that Diego and Allison are absent, he nevertheless begins the meeting, informing his brothers that he managed to make contact with Reginald last night. Luther is confused, reminding Klaus that he claimed he hadn’t been able to conjure up anyone in years. Klaus admits this is true, but states that he’s now completely sober. He goes on to inform Luther and Number 5 that Reginald wasn’t murdered but that he committed suicide in order to trick them into getting together again. Luther, however, refuses to believe it, accusing Klaus of playing games again. Until Pogo enters the room and confirms Klaus’ statement, also admitting he and Grace had assisted with the suicide, with Grace’s programming being altered so she wouldn’t be able to administer first aid on that fateful night. Reginald had believed that, if the Hargreeves Siblings had banded together to try and solve the murder mystery, it might inspire them to want to be a team again, so they could save the world. Luther is incensed over this bombshell, especially since he was still feeling hurt over the revelation that his mission on the moon had been meaningless all along. He berates Pogo for not saying anything sooner, despite watching him search for answers. Pogo is visibly remorseful, but tells Luther that he had only been honoring Reginald’s dying wishes and that he had no choice. This isn’t good enough for Luther, though, and he storms off, telling Pogo that there’s always a choice. Number 5 also teleports off to think, leaving Klaus alone with Ghost Ben.
Sometime later, Vanya and Harold/Leonard return to the cabin. Harold/Leonard attempts to reassure Vanya that what happened to the three toughs wasn’t her fault, and that she had acted in self-defense. Vanya is still shaken up, though, stating that she shouldn’t be able to do something like that. It’s clear that, while she is starting to accept the fact that she does have powers, she’s upset that she can’t control them, with them only exploding out of her when she’s not trying to use them. Harold/Leonard consoles her, stating he’ll help her learn to control it.
While all this is going on, we also get the subplot with Hazel and Agnes. They did indeed run away together, but are now stuck in a traffic jam. Hazel grows morose when he sees that Agnes’ road trip has three years worth of sights in store, with her happily stating they have time to see them all. After all, she doesn't realize the apocalypse is supposed to happen in just two days.
In a curious coincidence, Allison is also stuck in the same traffic jam. Why she didn’t stick around at the cabin is anyone’s guess. She ends up driving past the same restaurant where Vanya’s powers went haywire, seeing the police are there investigating the incident. As Allison glances over at the crime scene, she notices Vanya’s scarf hanging from the restaurant's sign, making her realize that Vanya had been there. So she gets out of the car and ducks under the police tape to investigate. Allison is immediately stopped by a cop, Sergeant Cheddar, who is investigating the scene. She tries to question him about what happened, but he insists that she simply read about it in the paper tomorrow. Although, Sergeant Cheddar’s tune completely changes when he recognizes her. It turns out Sergeant Cheddar and his wife are huge fans of Allison’s movies. (Remember, Allison is a big movie star.) Taking advantage of this fact, Allison tells him that she’s actually going to portray a cop in her next movie and is looking to do some research on law enforcement. She asks if she can shadow him for the day, as it could help her develop her character if she could witness him in action for the day. Sergeant Cheddar, being a huge Allison Hargeeves fanboy, agrees to this almost instantly.
Meanwhile, Diego is still in his jail cell. He is visited by Detective Beeman, who informs him that they’re transferring him to upstate that afternoon. He also states that he does believe in Diego’s innocence, knowing that he wasn’t the one who murdered Detective Patch. However, that’s not enough to get the suspicion against him thrown out, since Diego was placed at the scene of the murder, and people on the force had witnessed the two arguing on more than one occasion. Detective Beeman then reaches out to shake Diego’s hand, wishing him luck. After they shake hands, Detective Beeman walks off, leaving Diego alone with the key he stealthily slipped him.
Back at the cabin, Vanya is practicing her violin, getting ready for her big concert. As she’s practicing, Harold/Leonard secretly consults Reginald’s journal, which includes Reginald’s notes on Vanya’s powers. The notes reveal that sound can help activate Vanya’s abilities. This is further illustrated in a flashback, where Reginald, during a training session, managed to get Vanya to shatter a wine glass simply with the sound of a tuning fork. Taking advice from this, Harold/Leonard takes Vanya deeper into the woods and instructs her to try and recreate the scene last night. Vanya then thinks back, remembering the men laughing, the sound of them kicking Harold/Leonard and the rumbling of the car engine and a dog barking nearby. Instantly, Vanya realizes that it was the sound of the car engine that did it, as that sound ended resonating in her mind to the point where it was the only thing she could hear before her power unleashed itself. She finds the whole thing terrifying, but Harold/Leonard insists that its extraordinary. He then convinces Vanya to try and tap into her powers again, getting her to focus on the sounds of nature around them. Such as the wind chimes hanging from the cabin nearby, a squirrel in a nearby tree and the water rushing along a creek. Harold/Leonard tells Vanya to focus on one sound in particular, with Vanya zeroing in on the sound of the water in the creak. This results in Vanya’s power manifesting again. Harold/Leonard is ecstatic, but he sees Vanya is starting to panic, so he calms her down, informing her that her ability is tied to her emotions. Vanya is confused how he knows this, as she doesn’t know about Reginald’s journal. Harold/Leonard is able to cover up his slip up by claiming he made a lucky guess, going on to ‘theorize’ that Vanya can convert the sounds around her into energy when she is feeling strong emotions. Vanya accepts this explanation and kisses him. Though she has to push him out of the way when a tree branch falls towards them,
Of course we also get a reminder of how dangerous Vanya’s power can be. In another flashback to her training sessions with Reginald, Young Vanya not only shattered all of the wine glasses, she also ended up cracking Reginald’s monocle. Which also apparently left a cut along his cheek. Reginald seemed almost fearful of the raw power she possessed, as he announced their training sessions were over for the time being.
We then cut back to the Umbrella Academy mansion. Klaus is in his room knitting something when Number 5 walks in, trying to wrap his head around things. He starts to discuss with Klaus his confusion about something that he can’t figure out. He only learned about the approaching apocalypse by travelling to the future. But Reginald, who can’t travel in time, clearly knew enough about it to know to kill himself a week before it happened. Number 5′s musings are interrupted when Diego rushes in, having just escaped from jail with the key he got from Detective Beeman. He informs them that Allison may be in danger, as he knows she went off to track down Harold/Leonard alone. They search for Luther, locating him at a bar, still drowning his sorrows. Diego tries to offer him some comfort, telling him that their father lied to all of them. But Luther just wants to be miserable, stating he’s done with all if it- with Reginald, his brother and the whole family. He states that if if the others want to save the world, they’re welcome to try, but he’s going to stay put and keep feeling sorry for himself. Until Diego tells him that Allison headed off on her own to find Vanya, as Vanya’s boyfriend is a convicted murderer. The knowledge that Allison was in danger pushes Luther into action, with him telling Diego he should have led with that detail.
Elsewhere, we see that Cha-Cha has managed to get free from her handcuffs. She heads right over to Griddy’s Donuts, but finds the place is closed, with a sign from Agnes on the door informing customers that she’d decided to close the doughnut shop. Angered, Cha-Cha breaks in to search for clues on where Agnes and Hazel were going. In doing so, she finds a brochure for some bird sanctuary. And then, for good measure, she blows up the building by turning on the gas burners and leaving a lit candle behind.
We then cut back to Allison and Sergeant Cheddar. The latter is questioning Mr. Luntz, the guy who survived the incident with Vanya’s powers the night before. Mr. Luntz reveals that it was all a setup. Turns out, Harold/Leonard had actually paid them to pick a fight with him, saying he wanted to impress his girlfriend. But they had gotten drunk and got a bit carried away. Allison cuts in, asking Mr. Luntz about the description of the guy who paid him, also showing him the picture of Vanya on the back of her copy of Vanya’s autobiography and asking if that was the girlfriend. Instantly, Sergeant Cheddar realizes that Allison had lied to him and confronts her over it. Allison apologizes for lying but explains that it was the only way she could get answers, and that she’s trying to find her sister, who might be in trouble. While Sergeant Cheddar still isn’t happy, he seems to understand Allison’s reasons. But before they could question Mr. Luntz further, the nurse stepped in, stating they’d have to come back later so they could run more tests on the injured man.
Returning to the cabin, Vanya announces that her concert is tomorrow, and she wants to practice her violin a bit more. Upon hearing this, Harold/Leonard gets a bit petulant. He tries to coax Vanya to practice mastering her powers some more, as they already had a breakthrough and Vanya mastering her powers is important. Vanya counters this by stating her music is also important. Harold/Leonard instantly backs down, but he doesn’t seem to happy as Vanya steps out to practice her violin. While she’s occupied, he quietly steps out. So, when Vanya is done with her practice session and comes back inside, she finds that Harold/Leonard is gone. Immediately, she starts to panic, searching the cabin for him frantically. In her panic, she has a flashback to a point in her past, most likely after Reginald started to grow fearful of the magnitude of Vanya’s powers. One evening, Reginald had brought Young Vanya down to a chamber deep beneath the mansion and placed her into a soundproof cell, telling her she needed to stay in a controlled environment. Once she was sealed in, he left her down there for an undetermined amount of time. To try and settle her nerves after that flashback, Vanya starts to practice her violin, simply focusing on the sound of the violin.
Meanwhile, Hazel and Agnes have arrived at the bird sanctuary. Hazel, still mulling things over, asks Agnes what she would do if she knew she only had two days left to live. Agnes replies she’d choose to be anywhere Hazel was. Which is just too sweet! I can’t with these two! Anyway, Agnes notices that Hazel seems distracted about something and she asks him what’s going on. Hazel tells her he can’t really explain at the moment, but there’s something he has to take care of before he can join her. He tells her to go enjoy the bird sanctuary and that he’ll come back for her as soon as he can. So, after sharing a kiss, Hazel drives off, with Agnes watching him go. Of course, Hazel may have made the wrong call in leaving Agnes alone, as we see Cha-Cha is already on her way to the bird sanctuary.
Back at the hospital, Allison and Sergeant Cheddar are waiting to question Mr. Luntz some more, but the nurse comes out to inform them that he’s gone missing. She had taken him out to for x-rays, but he disappeared. Sergeant Cheddar states he’ll call it in, in case anyone spots him. Allison then asks the nurse if she’d seen Vanya and the nurse confirms she had been there that morning. Allison realizes that Vanya and Harold/Leonard had been there when she’d stopped by the cabin earlier and decides to try going back. Sergeant Cheddar instructs her to not go anywhere, as Harold/Leonard might be dangerous, and they have a missing person to boot. But Allison chooses to not listen to his instructions and heads off anyway.
She arrives back at the cabin while Vanya is still playing her violin. And Allison immediately notices the lights and rocking chairs out on the porch. are swinging from side to side, as they’re being manipulated by Vanya’s powers. Allison quickly heads inside and finds Vanya, who is surprised to see her sister. Allison is equally surprised when Vanya tells her of her newly discovered powers, but she pushes her amazement aside to focus on the more important task of getting Vanya to safety. She tries to break the news to Vanya about who her boyfriend really is, telling her that Leonard Peabody doesn’t exist and that he’s really Harold Jenkins, who murdered his father when he was 13 and spent 12 years in jail as a result. Vanya, of course, doesn’t believe her. Allison tells her that the proof is all in the police file, which is waiting in the car, also telling her of the whole murder shrine of the mangled and defaced Umbrella Academy memorabilia they found in Harold/Leonard’s house. She goes on to try and reassure her sister, saying that she can understand how it must be a lot for her to take in, but that she loves her and wants to be there for her sister.
Understandably, Vanya has an emotional breakdown. She’d fallen in love with Harold/Leonard and can’t believe any of this stuff about him could be true. Not to mention the revelation that she’s had this power all her life and never even knew it. At that moment, Allison remembers an old childhood memory of hers. One that never really made sense to her, but now that she’s learned of Vanya’s powers, she’s able to look at it again with fresh understanding. It turns out that, while Vanya was being kept in that soundproof room when they were all 4-years-old, Reginald had told the other Hargreeves Siblings that Vanya was sick and had to be isolated. But then he brought Allison down there and instructed her to tell Vanya ‘I heard a rumor you think you’re just ordinary,‘ (It was at this time that Reginald also started putting Vanya on that medication, which we now can see was meant to nullify her powers.)
So obviously, Reginald had been so fearful of Vanya’s raw abilities, he chose to simply keep them hidden from everyone rather than continue to train her to control them, and had even manipulated Young Allison to assist him in his goal. And it kind of makes sense how nobody remembered that Vanya used to have powers when they were very young. After all this all went down when they were 4. Not many people can have clear memories of their life that far back. Anyway, When Vanya learns of this, she is understandably furious. But in her anger, she ends up blaming Allison, accusing her of knowing she had powers the whole time and choosing to keep them a secret because she didn’t want Vanya outranking her. Vanya continues her rant, declaring she plans on staying with Leonard, who was the only one who ever really loved her. As Vanya’s rage builds, the light fixtures around the house start to go haywire and eventually explode, and Allison’s attempts to calm her down only enrage her further. In sheer desperation, Allison elects to use her powers to calm Vanya down. But before she can complete her statement, Vanya lashes out with her bowstring, which ends up slicing through Allison’s throat.
The moment this happens, Vanya’s rage vanishes, being replaced by horror over what she’d just done. She dashes forward to catch Allison as she falls to the ground, clutching her heavily bleeding throat. As Vanya cries out her apologies for hurting her sister, Harold/Leonard returns to the cabin. He takes one look at the scene before him and seems to figure out what just happened. So he grabs Vanya and physically drags her away, telling her that they have to get out of there, during a deaf ear to Vanya’s cries and sheer reluctance to leave Allison bleeding on the floor. In the end, however, Harold/Leonard manages to drag her away and he drives them away from the cabin, driving right past the body of Mr. Luntz, who he must have killed to keep him from blabbing. By the time, Luther, Diego, Klaus, Number 5 and Ghost Ben make it to the cabin, Allison has lost consciousness and appears dead. And so the episode ends on that cliffhanger.
Final Observations/Questions:
Is Allison going to live?
What’s going to happen to Vanya? Will she get away from Harold/Leonard?
While I do understand Vanya’s fury, it wasn’t fair of her to blame Allison for what happened. Allison was just as much a victim as Vanya had been. Thy were toddlers at the time. Of course they wouldn’t question what Reginald was telling them. And I believe Allison was telling the truth when she said she didn’t understand what happened that night until now. And the fact that they all forgot that Vanya had powers at the age of four is also believable, since they were still very little back then.
What exactly did Reginald do to get Pogo to go along with everything he did. It was clear from his facial expressions that he wasn’t happy with what he was doing to Vanya, but he still went along with it. So what kind of psychological hold did Reginald have on him?
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Formerly Fraser - Ch. 8 “A Vow”
written by @julesbeauchamp & @curlsgetdemgurls
a/n: hello everyone! there is one more chapter after this and then a wee epilogue. we hope you enjoy this one ;)
Previous Chapters
Jamie woke up on the morning of his wedding day feeling nervous. And not the kind of nerves that someone was supposed to get on their wedding day. He was worried he was making a huge mistake. Sure, he loved Annalise, but more and more lately he was wondering if he only loved her as a friend loves a friend.
He had known love before -- earth shattering, mind blowing, all consuming love. He had known that type of love and he was aware it didn’t happen twice in a lifetime. He was also very aware of the fact he had failed Claire and the sheer idea of ever doing it again ate away at him. He was there, the day of his wedding, thinking about his ex-wife. It wasn’t how it should be.
The rest of the morning went on rather normally. He went for a run, showered, ate his porridge and even had time to consider calling Claire but he put an end to that idea quickly. Instead, he kept wondering what she must be doing. Or thinking. The girls were with Annalise helping her get ready at the church while Jamie and Alex were now dressed and waiting in their own private room.
“Are ye nervous, Da?”
“I wouldna say nervous, nay,” Jamie took a deep breath.
“Then what is it? Ye’re no’ really lookin’ thrilled if I’m honest,” Alex laughed a bit.
“‘Tis just…” He looked at his son, “Dinna fash it’s nothin’,” Jamie waved his hand at his son and leaned forward on the chair.
“Did ye ever think ye’d get married again?”
“Och, nay, I never thought I would. When ye get marrit the first time ye dinna really think ye’ll do it again,” Jamie smiled thoughtfully.
“How do you ken someone is the right person for ye? Like...is it somethin’ ye realise gradually? Or ye guess or --”
“Ye just ken it, as soon as ye’ll see her, Alex,” he smiled, thinking about the first time he saw Claire, and he felt his heart squeeze.
“It worked the second time too?” Alex watched him attentively.
Jamie shook his head, “Nay, it only works once.”
“Only wi’ mam…” Alex looked at his father and tilted his head. “Da ye dinna have to get married if ye aren’t sure about it, I bet Annalise would understand and it doesn’t mean ye don’t love her --”
Jamie’s eyes widened as he looked at his son. He had been sure he had kept his feelings to himself but it seems maybe he had adopted a bit of Claire’s glass face in their marriage.
“I dinna think Annalise would be too pleased if I did that,” his fingers tapped against his knee. “I do love her and I think it will be a fine marriage.” His voice sounded different and Jamie wondered who he was trying to convince, just now.
“Fine is not verra good, Da…” Alexander remarked softly.
Jamie was silent for a moment as he looked at his son, “Would ye want yer Mam and me to get back together?” He knew this was probably inappropriate to be asking his son, but he had to know.
Alex nodded, “Of course, Da. I always looked up to ye both and yer marriage. Even if I didna appreciate it until it was over. I remember the way ye were wi’ Mam and I never saw half of it wi’ Annalise, I just dinna want ye to regret something is all.”
“Alex…”
“‘Tis no’ even about me wanting my parents to be together, it’s about wanting you both to be happy and as far as I’m concerned, I dinna believe ye can achieve such a thing without one another, just stop bein’ so stubborn,” Alex rolled his eyes, exasperated.
“‘Tis no’ as simple as that,” Jamie ran his hand through his curls. Maybe it wasn’t so difficult, after all?
“Why did ye rush the wedding all of a sudden? Ye seemed perfectly fine avoidin’ it and bein’ engaged forever with Annalise, what happened? ”
“I dinna ken,” Jamie said firmly, his mouth presses together in a tight line. “I just had to do somethin’.”
“What kind of somethin’? Was it Ma? Did somethin’ happen between the two of ye that us kids dinna ken about?”
There was no way in hell Jamie was going to tell any of his children about that night after Alex’s graduation. But it was clear that his son was sensing something was off -- had been off ever since that night.
“Ye dinna need to fash yerself about it son,” Jamie pressed his hand on Alex’s shoulder and rose from the couch to check his hair in the mirror. “I’m gettin’ married today… what’s done is done.”
******
Claire rubbed her eyes as she made her way out of the hospital. She had worked all night, successfully replacing a heart. During the long hours of the procedure, she had hoped it was her own heart she was replacing. For a new one, that had never been broken and was now half mended. But sadly it wasn’t. She would have to live with her heart in such a state for the rest of her life, no matter how long or short it would be. She hated herself for feeling this way. Weak for a man who didn’t want her anymore. But it wasn’t any man. It was Jamie.
Her Jamie. And when it came to the scot, Claire was irrational and completely blinded -- no matter how hard she had tried to move on.
The surgeon needed a shower, a glass of whisky and her warm bed. She also needed to forget what day it was but she couldn’t. She knew exactly what was going on today. And at what time it would start. She knew the venue and the number of guests -- because her ex-husband’s soon-to-be new wife had told her so and anyone who cared to listen at work. She knew the type of dress she’d be wearing. And the shoes. She knew everything. What Claire didn’t know was why Jamie was getting married again.
It’s not that she didn’t know. It was that she didn’t dare to think of the reason. Love. Most likely. A sentiment deep enough for him to decide to spend the rest of his life with another woman. When he had started to date Annalise, she almost found it funny. After all, they had been divorced for eight years, back then. He had never been with anyone until the french nurse. Claire never thought it would last very long. It was most likely a fling because he felt alone. The kind of fling she had once or twice that never lasted much more than a few days.
She had been wrong. It was apparently fare more than just that. The sooner she’d accept it, the better she would start to feel.
The minute she got home, she poured herself a glass and sipped it as she made her way upstairs, to the bathroom. She got undressed, tossing her clothes around and stepped under the boiling water, letting it burn over her porcelain skin. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. She wished she had done so many things differently. She wished she had made things work with Jamie, even if they had been really bad, back then. After all, neither one of them cheated or stopped loving the other. They could have worked their way out of the fog they were in and made it through, stronger. And together. But they hadn’t. It was too late now.
Claire knew one day she would make peace with this entire situation. She thought she had a long time ago. Now holidays and birthdays would always be a reminder once again that her marriage had failed every time she saw Annalise. She didn’t want to share any part of her life, her children, with that woman and she hated that she didn’t have a say. Jamie was not hers to tell what to do or who to love or not to love. What she needed to do was release him. But in the releasing of him… she was also getting rid of a part of herself.
She reluctantly got out of the shower after almost twenty minutes and dried her body and hair quickly. She changed into a nightgown and crawled into bed. She knew she’d dream of Jamie but she was too exhausted to fight it this time. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she let slumber take over her body and James Fraser over her mind.
*****
A knock came from the door before it partially opened and Elena stuck her head in. “Annalise is almost ready, Da. Ye should take yer place at the altar,” she smiled softly.
“Aye, I will.” He smiled and walked over to his daughter, kissing her on the cheek. All of his children had been so supportive in his new relationship, but he couldn’t help but wonder if his daughter’s felt the same as Alex.
“Ye look beautiful , a leannan,” He touched her cheek, “Ye took everythin’ after yer Mam.”
“Thanks, Da,” she blushed. “I wish she was here,” she said and then saw Jamie’s expression. “Only because it doesna feel right without her here but of course she wouldna come to this. It would be weird.”
“Aye,” his lips curled up on one side before falling into a frown.
“I hope someday she’ll find someone who makes her happy like Annalise makes you, though, I’m tired of seeing her alone,” Elena said. “Sorry, Da… I didn’t mean to bring up Mam.”
“Tis fine, a leannan, it’s normal for ye to think of yer Mam on a day like this. She deserves to be verra happy, aye,” He kissed her cheek. “I best get to the front. I’m sure Annalise is waiting now.”
“She’s been screaming all day,” Elena rolled her eyes. “Seems nothin’ has gone to her plans.”
“Ah, great,” Jamie laughed and then watched his daughter walk back to his soon to be wife’s room.
“Come on lad,” Jamie took one last look in the mirror before leaving and making his way into the hallway. With every step he took, Jamie felt his heart clenching. His mind was at war and he thought he might just be sick too. Could he really do this?
He could see it now -- the altar. But what he couldn’t see was himself standing up there beside Annalise vowing to love her until death do them part. He saw Claire, the way she had looked at the courthouse the day they got married. With her curls wild around her face and her little white dress and converse.
Jamie’s heart was miles away, probably at home with a glass of whisky in hand. Not just feet away in another room, wearing an expensive wedding dress. He should have realized it sooner than this and he hated himself for it -- but he couldn’t marry Annalise.
“I canna do it,” he said mostly to himself but also to Alex who had stopped beside him.
“Canna do what, Da?” His son frowned, looking at his father. “Tis just a few more steps…”
“I canna marry her, Alex. Ye ken it as well as I do that I’m no happy unless I’m wi’ yer Mam. Annalise is a kind woman, but she is no the one for me. I already have my person.”
Alex smirked, “Well go then, Da. Go find her. I’ll let everyone know.”
“I’m a coward,” Jamie sighed. “It should be me to tell Annalise--”
“No, Da. The only thing ye should concern yerself is gettin’ to Mam, it’s her who needs ye now,” Alex hugged him and then pushed him away towards the door. “Go! Tell her I said hi!”
Suddenly the steps came easier and Jamie broke out into a run. The church wasn’t far from Claire’s -- their -- house. He was dressed in a kilt and running through the streets of Glasgow, but he didn’t care. He had to get to her, to tell her everything.
******
Claire’s mind was numb, she didn’t know for how long she had been sleeping. As well as her body, her limbs felt heavy and she didn’t want to get out of bed just yet. When she heard a tapping on her window, she rolled over onto her side, pressing the pillow over her head.
“Go away damn birds!” She groaned.
The tapping persisted and then it sounded an awful lot like the window was being opened. Claire rolled over to face the window and nearly fell off the bed when she saw a man climbing through her window.
“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! What the bloody hell!” She scrambled off the bed, eyes barely opened and still heavy with slumber. She threw the first thing she found at the man.
“Claire! Sassenach, stop, tis me!”
She whirled around, her eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room -- she must have dozed for hours. “Jamie? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be getting married right now?” Her eyes flashed to the alarm clock beside the bed and it was exactly the time he should be getting married.
“I couldn’t go through wi’ it, mo nighean donn,” Jamie took a step forward until he was right in front of her.
“Well why ever not?” She was confused. Surely, she was still very much asleep.
He laughed softly, sliding his hands to cup her cheeks. “Because of ye, Sassenach. It’s always been you.”
“Me?” She nearly choked on the word, not quite believing she was even awake. “But you love her, you love Annalise.”
Jamie shook his head, “Nah. I thought I did, but I canna ever love another woman the way that I love you. Oh Claire…” he sighed, “Yer all I think about. Ever since the day we signed the divorce papers, ye havena left my thoughts.”
“This won’t work, Jamie. It ended for a reason,” Claire tried to reason with him, but on the inside she was screaming. This is what she wanted -- for him to choose her all over again.
“Aye, it did. We were different people and we learned things since then,” Jamie slid one hand to her waist and then took her left hand in his. “Tell me, Sassenach. Tell me ye havena thought of me and I’ll leave. Tell me ye dinna love me anymore and I swear ye willna have to ever see me again if ye dinna wish to -- ”
“You know I’ve never stopped,” she interrupted his speech and finally allowed herself to relax in his arms. He brought her hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “It’s always just been the two of us.”
“Against the world,” he smiled tenderly. “Time may try to keep us apart, Sassenach, but what we have -- our love is stronger than it all. Ye ken it as much as ye...I’m tired of bein’ a fool -- ”
“Are you going to kiss me at some point, or…?” Claire smiled mischievously, licking her lips.
“Aye,” he chuckled, wrapping both his arms around her and she leaned up to meet him halfway.
#formerly fraser#outlander fanfic#em and jules write the things#outlander fanfiction#jamie x claire#jamie fraser#claire fraser#divorce au#almost there
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Pls get into Penny Arcade Adventures: a summary
I killed the creators it's my city now
here's the setting;
1920s lovecraftian horror comedy-to-tragedy with Sherlock Holmes undertones and gay subtext that for the purpose of my rendition I'm making explicit
Plot synopsis;
You play as Yourself. You live in a nice suburb, nice home, on Desperation Street, in New Arcadia - a fucked up city with a power imbalance. A giant robot just crushed your house and 2 weird guys are chasing after it, so you pick up your rake and start swinging at tinier robots, which also just suddenly appeared. You crave vengeance. You also team up with the guys to take down a few gods and it all goes downhill from there.
Game one: d--k jokes galore + f-ck mimes
Game two: comedic torture + f-ck ableists and rich people
Game three: the world ends + we meet some badasses, Gabe gets a cape
Game four: HELL WE'RE UNDER HELL also you're playing pokemon the whole game too
Characters;
You! You're blunt, snarky, and rightfully pissed that you're now homeless because of a stupid robot. You stop at nothing and you are so, so tired.
Tycho Brahe. A respectable guy who no one respects, majored in Apocalyptics, always on his toes, has a very leaderly aura. He's smart, kinda dorky, but probably cares about a well-read book more than a human life. He uses guns.
Jonathan Gabriel. I only draw him as kinda burly so that's all you're gonna get. The dumbass who gets pegged and probably thinks gender is a myth (he's right). He's silly, imo he's autistic-coded and I for one identify with that, and he's always down for a good brawl.
Anne-Claire. A sweet little girl in a pretty pink dress who is a mechanical genius, has shitty parents, and loves scientists and getting her hands on tech. She's Tycho's niece and helps you beef up your weapons.
Jim! He's a skull in a jar of green goo, and talks too much.
Moira. Tycho's ex fiancé? Wife? Girlfriend? Shrugs. She's a detective who also wields guns, hates Tycho so much, but sticks around because the world's is falling apart. She's pretty cool but only shows up in the 2nd half.
There's many more. That's only a chip off the gold block.
Pros;
Watching the descent from comedy into tragedy is one hell of a ride you will not wanna miss. It makes you go thru fridge horror thinking of all the implications when comparing 1 and 2, to 3 and 4.
The plot twist still gets me and I've been a fan for years. Don't trust the Narrator. That's all i wanna say.
The creators had little to say for the 3rd and 4th games, so in comparison they're better written and the difference is noticeable.
You get to beat up rich people
If you make fanart or fanfic, it will be noticed by the whole fandom
The games have f-ck all to do with the comics, god bless
Cons;
The fandom is 3 people big 😔
Fuck the creators
The plot of 2 is a little over the line of offensive, taking place in an asylum. It's overlooked if you consider that the enemies are all brainwashed, but if it's still bothersome then it's easily ignored.
If you don't like homeless jokes?? I guess avoid this
Grinding sucks d--k and 3 and 4 drag on forever because of this. The songs will get so annoying. I will kill Fish Force with my bare hands.
The games cost money :(
In conclusion;
Please play the games we're begging you. Pirate them or something idc
If not then me and @diredevilrulz are working on a cut-down letsplay of all the games. Still trucking along tho.
If you enjoy Flux Buddies, especially S4, or Ao Oni - then you'll definitely love this series. It's a trip. It really is.
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A breakdown of each of the ‘Shadowplay’ episodes to air on ZDF in October. On ZDF the series will be airing as four, two hour episodes. This is a translation from German, so forgive me if there are mistakes.
*SPOILERS* after the cut:
Episode 1:
In 1946, the New York police officer Max McLaughlin traveled to the divided city of Berlin to help set up a civilian police force based on the American model. Max reports to Tom Franklin, the US Vice Consul in Berlin, whose fragile and seductive British wife Claire is immediately drawn to Max. Her appearance at social events, her hatred of Germans and her uninhibited flirtations make her a colorful personality. Max is enchanted, but at the same time senses the danger she poses. On the German side, he works with Chief Inspector Elsie Garten, whose husband is interned in a Russian prisoner-of-war camp. Their task force consists mainly of women and orphans, whose chair legs serve as batons and who have moved into their territory in a disused bank.
At the same time he is looking for his missing brother Moritz, with whom he is ominously connected through a traumatic experience in his childhood. But the Russians also cause problems: Max and Elsie barely manage to prevent Russian soldiers from shooting at defenseless German civilians who report to the unscrupulous Russian officer Izosimov. He also does not shy away from torture in order to snatch the information from the youngest member of the police force, the Jewish orphan Gad, which Elsie Garten can use for his purposes - and thus against the Americans. In another part of the city, Karin, who was raped by GIs, asks the Berlin doctor and criminal king Gladow, known as "the angel maker", for an illegal abortion. And for assistance in getting revenge on their tormentors. The price: the collaboration in his dangerous underground organization.
Starting with the retaliatory murder of the GIs and followed by the murder of a random eyewitness, Karin gradually changes from a passive victim to an active perpetrator. But Max is not only concerned with the double murder of the GIs, but also with an anonymous tip that leads him to the corpses of an ex-Nazi and his family in an abandoned building. The gruesome act seems like a murderous staging of the first prank from the German children's book "Max and Moritz", with which the two American brothers have happy memories of their German mother. Max's brother Moritz is hiding behind the crime and is taking cruel revenge on Nazis in hiding. When Moritz reveals himself, he demands the oath of loyalty that he once wrested from his little brother: Max should go on a campaign of revenge with him against every law.
Episode 2:
Max receives pressure from his superior and US Vice Consul in Berlin Tom Franklin to investigate the GIs murder as quickly as possible. He himself is driven by the search for his brother Moritz, who he fears that he will strike again.
And Moritz actually goes to the bike shop owner Berta Spiel in her shop and kidnaps her. Berta was an overseer in the Dachau camp and Moritz wants to get information about her former backers through her.
In the meantime, Max and Elsie interrogate Karin - without knowing how close they are to the GIs murderer. However, immediately after being questioned, Karin went underground in Berlin. She fled to the "angel maker" and offered him her active participation in his organization. As a first assignment, she received the task of channeling information into the eastern sector together with Marianne. There, however, the two women are attacked by Russian soldiers and Marianne is seriously injured. At the same time, the police force observes the hotel "Alt-Bayern", in which "Der Engelmacher" runs a brothel, because they hope to find Karin there.
Max meets Moritz's former commander, General Wright. He tells him about the traumatic experiences during the liberation of the Dachau concentration camp, which changed Moritz forever. And again Max receives a personal message from his brother Moritz. This leads him to a warehouse where he finds Berta Spiel, who died from her burns. The procedure is fatally reminiscent of the second prank from the children's book "Max and Moritz".
Elsie meets with the Russian officer Izosimov, who gives her the opportunity to see her husband Leopold again - on condition that she provides him with information about Max. Elsie agrees and begins to observe her colleague.
But then Max is kidnapped by the Nakam, a secret Jewish organization which, in turn, wages a campaign of revenge against Nazis who have gone underground and wants to win Max over for this.
Episode 3:
The two brothers' game of cat and mouse is drawing ever closer circles. Max doesn't find Moritz himself, but at least his hiding place: He has holed himself up in a boathouse where he abused his youngest victim - Oberlander, a high-ranking Nazi officer.
In the meantime, the Jewish auxiliary police officer Gad has found out that Karin is actually staying in the Hotel "Alt-Bayern". When Max and Elsie want to arrest them, Karin fires an anti-aircraft gun at the police force. She manages to flee in the resulting tumult and to warn the "angel maker" about the police in good time. To protect himself, Karin persuades to kill the injured Marianne. She is too weak to flee. Karin does what the diabolical charismatic demands of her - and thereby betrays not only her only friend, but ultimately also herself.
Claire visits Max in his hotel room and makes it clear to him that she wants more from him. Max still resists her charm and focuses on the search for his brother. When the two finally meet, the brothers engage in a merciless fight. They hit each other. Max remains unconscious on the floor and Moritz flees. When Max comes to, Oberlander is lying dead next to him. As if reflexively, Max disposed of the body. But he has to admit that his brother can no longer be saved and that he can no longer protect him.
Since Karin and "Der Engelmacher" believe that the police have evidence against them in their hands, they plan an attack on the police station - an attack that no one should survive.
Leopold in turn tries to escape from Russian captivity and is seriously injured in the process. Elsie asks Izosimov to let her husband go anyway. In return, she offers him to continue to cooperate with him. That same night Leopold tried to flee again with other prisoners. A firing squad kills all refugees. Only Leopold remains alive.
At a party at Franklin's house, Max finally gives in to Claire's advances. Neither he nor Claire suspect that Franklin is watching them. And then Moritz shows up at the party - in an American uniform. None of those present took special notice of him. Moritz's goal is still to get his brother on his side. Max gives him one last chance.
Episode 4:
Moritz has found documents in Oberlander's house that show that his superior, Consul Franklin, supports old Nazis by providing them with forged papers and thwarting their prosecution. In return, Franklin demands stolen art objects. In his fanatical love of art, he is even ready to kill for this immoral barter.
Max is now supported by Claire in his investigation. She gives him access to the basement of her villa and indeed there are many important works of art there. Claire is devastated when she realizes that her husband is cooperating with Nazis who wiped out her family during the war. She decides to leave Franklin and return to London.
Meanwhile, Max and Moritz argue what should happen to Franklin. Moritz wants to shoot him, while Max advocates bringing Franklin to justice. The following day Moritz disguises himself as a chauffeur and kidnaps Franklin and Claire in their car.
Elsie is very concerned about her husband's health. Although Leopold was able to escape the Russian firing squad, he is still close to death, as his tuberculosis is worsening day by day.
Karin and "Der Engelmacher" rehearse how to deposit the bomb in the police station. Her assistant Trude proves to be too nervous, whereupon "Der Engelmacher" kills her in cold blood. Then he urges Karin to plant the bomb herself. The perfidious plan of the "angel maker" works: The bomb goes off, the police officers flee and the followers of the "angel maker" shoot down the escaping officials. But Karin is recognized. At the last minute, she escapes police access. Max arrives just in time to put the attackers on the run with Elsie. An assassin who is badly injured on the ground reveals the whereabouts of the "angel maker" to Elsie. Max and Elsie finally track down the "angel maker" and take him to the police station for interrogation. This calls for a conversation with the high-ranking American agent Bob Travis. His demand is met and he succeeds in evading legal access. It is now a precious bargaining chip under the protection of the US government.
Moritz still keeps Claire and Franklin prisoner in a farm outside Berlin where the brothers grew up with their mother. Max follows him and is able to save Claire and Franklin from their brother's care. There is a gripping showdown between the brothers.
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(Disclaimer: if you wrote this and don’t want it up, send me an ask and I’ll take it down)
Jill and Claire:
Jill: You mentioned that Dean directed a play called "Man With Bags" at the Pilot Theater in Hollywood in 1979. I find this information invaluable. I'm going to make sure it is in our Database here on the Sassies list. If you have any other info about obscure stuff Dean has worked on, please let me know. I mean it. I don't care if no one else is taking notes. I am.
Claire: I have the playbill from "Man With Bags." Russ Tamblyn starred, along with Sally Kirkland. I will photocopy for you. If you don't mind I'll have to send via regular mail, as my scanner doesn't work. I also have a playbill from a show he did in Albuquerque. This probably was early '70s sometime. I can't remember the name of it, but I wrote to the photographer at the theater and he sent me a bunch of photos and stuff. This stuff is packed away. I will look for it tomorrow when I get time. After I get it out, I can give you more information and you can tell me what you'd like to see.
Jill: Re: George Herms, you said "I knew he was a close friend of Dean's....." Yes, he was, but how did you know that? Dean wasn't exactly talked about much in the press between 1970 and 1979. Was he being discussed in Art magazines? And were you subscribing to these magazines? George Herms is the one who painted those symbols on Dean's torso for Dunwich Horror. But I bet you already knew that. Okay, I threw that out there for others who might not know.
Claire: Regarding Mr. Herms. Remember all those old movie magazines they used to have in the '60s and '70s. I believe one was called "Photoplay," and there were some others whose names I've forgotten. Well, they used to have pen pal pages in them. One time, they listed a girl who said she was the ultimate Dean fan. Her name was Geordie James. I wrote to her. She had already made contact with Dean, and believe it or not, he was working on his autobiography at that time. He sent it to her to see what she thought about it (I kid you not). She told me she was going to start a fan club for him and asked me if I wanted to be the secretary. I said, yes, and she promptly sent me the autobiography to type--for him!! It was in this biography that so much was mentioned. "Moonstone" is the film Dean directed with George Herms as his star. It's a film about George's art. And you got me, I didn't know George had painted those symbols on him in "Dunwich." Too cool. Back to the autobiography. I typed it up and was so excited. I sent it back to Geordie without making a copy. Something I came later to regret, of course, since he apparently didn't have it published, but I retained much of what was discussed in it in my head. That's how I already knew about George Herms. Geordie James later had a house fire (she lived in Utica, NY). After that, I never was able to get back into contact with her. I never told Dean I had typed his autobiography either. For some reason, I didn't want to come off (at that time) like Miss Ultimate Fan. It was a stupid "coolness" thing.
Jill: What is 'Moonstone?' Is it a short film? An art object? And why did Herms need Dean in order to show it?
Claire: As I said above, "Moonstone" was directed by Dean, starring George Herms. As I wasn't real artsy at the time when I saw it at George's retrospective, I don't remember a whole lot about it. I just remember it revolved around a gem called a moonstone. It was definitely a short film. Real art house stuff.
Jill: You mentioned that Dean walked in with Joy. I thought she didn't come to Hollywood to see him until 1981? You mentioned that he had just started dating her at the time (so this means he finally dumped Toni Basil by 1979?). And.................Big question here........how did you know it was Joy? Did he introduce you to her? I mean, how did you know At That Time that it was Joy Marchenko, and that they had just started dating? Or is this something other people told you later on?
Claire: Now you got me. I'm not really sure that it was Joy. Later when I saw Joy's picture (after they got married), I jumped to the conclusion that that was the girl he was with at the museum because she looked very much like her. But you're telling me the dates don't jibe, so I'm probably wrong.
Jill: Did you recognize Russ Tamblyn right off? Did you already know that Russ and Dean were friends? And how did you know that? Did you already know Russ' wife's name, or did you find that out later? Is this the wife Russ separated from, right about that same time, and then he and Dean became roommates? And where did that leave Joy? Come to think of it, are you positive that was Joy that Dean was with? And are you positive that was Elizabeth with Russ?
Claire: Right, I already knew he and Russ were friends. Russ also was the star of "Man With Bags," which I had just seen two weeks earlier. I knew Elizabeth's name from reading a "Photoplay" article about Russ. She also was at the play. They could have been separated for all I know, and he was just still taking her to things. I also saw Elizabeth around 1980 at Toni Basil's show at the Fox Venice. She was not with Russ at the time; she was with her mother. I know it was her mother because I was in the restroom at the same time they were and she called her mom or mum. I also did not see Dean at Toni's show.
Jill: Another good tidbit here....."about 5 years later, when he was appearing in a dinner theater production of "Relatively Speaking." Another item for my database. So you're thinking it was about 1984? When Dean was still living in Santa Fe? And where was this dinner theater production at? I'm thinking Los Angeles, since you were living in California. Unless this was one of those dinner theater appearances he did in Las Vegas?
Claire: The dinner theater production was in San Clemente, Calif. I have the autographed playbill. I will dig out tomorrow. It had to be before he moved to Santa Fe, so I'm wrong on dates. I can get more specific when I find the playbill. Sorry I was generalizing so much on dates. I know how important it is when you're trying to keep a database.
Jill: When you saw Dean at the restaurant.........how did you know he was with his manager? Did he introduce you? Or did you assume it? Or did you know his manager?
Claire: I assumed there, too. He seemed like a manager-type person. The person was very business-like. They appeared to be discussing business before I walked up to the table. It could have been the manager of the dinner theater.
Jill: How did you know Dennis Hopper had dubbed him "Rainbow Razorbrain?" Where did you read that? Or did someone tell you?
Claire: Can't remember where I read it, but I know it was an article I read in a movie magazine before I moved to Calif. I believe it was around the time Dennis' "The Last Movie" was released and there were some articles on them at this time. Later Dennis talks about Dean in Roddy McDowell's photo book (can't remember the title). I'm thinking he mentions calling Dean "Rainbow Razorbrain" in Roddy's book.
Claire: Okay, I've gotten the questions out of sequence, let's go back. Regarding "Man With Bags." I found all the other playbills, but this one. I will keep looking for it, because it's special since Dean directed it. Also, now that I think back, Sally Kirkland was the stage manager of the play. Russ was the only "star" I knew who was in it. There was another girl, I believe her name was Kristen Larkin, who played the lead. And Patty ?? (forgot her last name, but she was one of the sisters in "The Beguiled" with Clint Eastwood. Hope that helps until I locate the playbill. Regarding the Sally Kirkland story, I had only heard that she lost her balance during the earthquake scene and hurt her back as a result. The "Dennis stabbing her" scenario is just a little freaky, but what's new.
Jill: For some reason, I was being cross-referenced to the film "The Beguiled" just the other day, and I think it had something to do with Dean or a co-star of Dean's. Isn't that weird? I'll have to go over to IMdB.com and try and figure out what I was looking for.
Claire: I think that was awfully synchronistic you were cross-referenced to "The Beguiled," and then I mentioned it. Uh-oh, I think I hear the "Twilight Zone" theme.
Jill: The story of Sally Kirkland and her lawsuit is in the Archives, I'm sure, and I'll see if I can dig it up.
Claire: Thanks, that will be interesting to read.
Jill: I'm not sure where Joy Marchenko came from, but I know she was a ‘Textile Designer in Morocco.' I think that's from the People Magazine interview. And that's about that, unless you know anything else?
Claire: I don't really know anything about her either. I read somewhere that they had to move from Santa Fe because of her asthma. That's too bad, 'cause that's pretty country.
Jill: You mentioned that you didn't know Dean and Joy were divorced until 2000. Well, you're already ahead of most of Dean's fans. I didn't become a fan until late 2000, and by early 2001 I was on the Internet, asking 'Where's Dean's wife, anyway?' Nobody seemed to know that they were divorced at that time. A member here, also named Joy, met Dean in Reno in Nov. 2001, and he said to her "Oh, you had to pick my ex-wife's name!" So, that was our first 'official' confirmation. But, like with just about everything else related to Dean, it wasn't written in stone. But things began to emerge. First, a member joined from France who happened to have a magazine interview from 1996 where Dean talks about separating from his wife. And, there is a lady who published a biography of Dean this year (you can buy it over the Internet - but pretty much everything in it you can find in our magazine articles here on the Sassies list - and she completely glosses over anything 'beatnik' or 'hippie' about Dean - there will be absolutely no mention of Toni Basil or George Herms in her book). Anyway, this lady briefly joined the Sassies list, and she had no idea that Dean & Joy were divorced, and pretty much denied it, by saying "Why wasn't it in the papers?" And I replied, "Why didn't any of Dean's fans know that his mother died in 1993?" (Another fact she forgot to put in her book). And then she unsubscribed. And then another (former) member on the Sassies confronted me with the fact that I have no proof that Dean and Joy were ever divorced (which I don't), and insisted that they're probably still living together, or are just separated. I'm getting pretty used to people calling me on things, and just take the facts as they are presented to me, and do with them what I can. So far, my hunches about things have been more right than wrong.
Claire: I read a small piece on them being divorced somewhere around 2000. It shocked me pretty good. I can't imagine someone writing a bio on Dean and not mentioning the Beat/Hippie connection. This still is like the heartbeat of Dean (snap, snap).
Jill: You mentioned Toni Basil was backed by Devo in her show (and I would have loved to have seen this show! Sounds wild!). She was dating their bass player at the time. She was the one who gave Dean a tape of Devo to listen to, and then Dean gave it to Neil Young. Hmmmm............which came first.......Dean leaving Toni for Joy, or Toni leaving Dean for the bass player? LOL!
Claire: Or Toni leaving Dean because of her enormous crush on David Bowie. That would have driven me bonkers!
Jill: Oh, and I have no proof that Toni and Dean were ever married, other than those two mentions. What do you think? My first hunch is to say No - that people (such as the musician that was quoted on the Internet) simply assumed they were married. Sort of a 'common-law' marriage, if you will. It's yet another mystery of Dean.
Claire: I kinda think they weren't married. Toni always reminded me of, how do I put this, if Dean had been a woman, he would have been Toni and if Toni would have been a man, she would have been Dean. I think they were too similar for their own good.
Claire: Regarding Dean's mentioning George, Millie, Dennis, Wallace, etc. They were mentioned only in context [in his autobiography] with the chronology of his life. There were no asides, unfortunately. Dean was still Dean back then, very secretive and protective about personal events and people in his life. He mentioned that he had married Millie and divorced. I believe he mentioned "Breakaway" and his collaboration with Toni and Bruce, but only in that context. He detailed Wallace's influence on him, and talked about directing "Moonstone," which I now know he began filming in 1963 with George. I have George's chronology of events from the book "The Prometheus Archives--A Retrospective Exhibition of the Works of George Herms," which I purchased at the show. The dates on my copy say the exhibit showed from June 2-July 22, 1979 at the Newport Harbor Art Museum. I will send the chronology to you.
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‘Sup
Alright, so. I guess this post has been a long time coming, and I’ll try to keep it as succinct as I can. But with the constant messages in my inbox and the comments on my fics (Do No Harm in particular) I’m just gonna put this here.
From the moment The Good Doctor came out, I was in love with it. I loved its message, its story, its characters. And for a long time it was amazing. I found my inspiration to write again, you all seemed to like my work, people were even recognizing me and asking for me. The second half of season one, when it came back...it wasn’t as great, but it was okay still. I just figured I had to wait for it to get out of its dry spell.
But that dry spell’s still going on.
The Good Doctor's potential is being wasted. Because the writing is so bad. Not even from a personal, opinionated viewpoint, like “Oh, I don’t like how Jared had to leave, I miss him and the show’s not the same.” No, that’s not it. From the technical, fundamental viewpoint of writing, it’s bad. As I see it; you may not agree and that’s fine (I am not going to argue with anyone on this post). This is just me explaining myself and my absence from the fandom as of late.
The show...is not a show. It is episodes. Separate and disconnected, there is no flow from one to another, no overreaching plotlines (save for the one about Glassman’s cancer that is so often added more as an afterthought and somehow has little to do with Shaun) no motifs no lessons no building. You tune in for one episode (maybe the plot stretches to two if you’re lucky), you watch it, and then afterwards...that’s it. A plot/plot point wasn’t wrapped up or explained in that timeslot? Sucks, fill in the blanks yourself. (Ex: Claire’s ‘determination’ to bring Coyle to justice that was immediately dropped. Shaun leaving out tuna for the cat trying to draw it in, only to never see it again. Lim’s ticket nobody cared about in the first place; we didn’t even see where that out-of-place plot went. What happened to that lawyer guy? Andrew’s wife? She’s not important anymore, you don’t need to find out what happens even though we spent so long detailing the issue to you. Jared and the patient that liked him? What patient that liked him?)
We are expected as an audience just to...accept things in passing without question, which is not what we should have to do. Stories should be shown and explained. Not shoved in our face so quickly all we can do is accept it, or stories so vague they don’t answer any of our questions so we just stop asking. (Ex: Lea’s back from Hershey. We’ll tease you with explaining why she left and why it was such a big deal even though she was only gone for about a handful of episodes before we just brought her back suddenly, but that’s all you get. Kenny’s in jail. Yeah, he stole somethin’ or idk. Jessica’s gone. Don’t ask why, she’s not important. Heck, even Glassman being fired and Shaun being let off the hook and Andrews being made president...just glossed over. Told to us through narration mostly.)
It’s as if they don’t trust that they have enough time to properly build and structure a naturally-developing plot that makes sense, so they try to shoehorn it all into one compact episode and think we’ll still be as invested...which doesn’t work. (Ex: Melendez and Lim should have slept together more than just the once. They should have been sleeping together for some time, we should have seen them slowly round the corner into “Maybe it’s more than just sex” we should have gotten to actually associate and care about them as a couple, and then, episodes later, the quarantine should have happened, which would make the plotline so much more palpable and actually interesting...not to mention logical. Same with Tyler and Morgan. You cannot expect the audience to be attached to a person we met fifteen minutes ago and be sad when they die. Literally, we were smacked going into the finale with: “Oh yeah, by the way, these two couples are a thing, care about them.” ...No, I didn’t care. At all. I was bored. Because I didn’t even actually know that guy’s name until after he died, that was how sudden and odd his character was. There should have been build-up with that too. Even if it was just a couple flirting scenes over episodes!!! Like, it’s not hard!!!) Literally, if you told me the writers had no idea where they were going with the story, and they were writing blind and just seeing where it went episode by episode, I would believe you one hundred percent. Because it just seems unplanned. Worse than unplanned! I never know what’s going to happen in any of my fics when I start them, but I never actually show that...even I can do a better job of planning and connecting...and I don’t.
ALSO IMPORTANT: Not taking the time to build to those things specifically (couples that suddenly have to watch the other part of them die/be in danger and other situations like that) is one thing and one thing only: it is a cheap way to get the audience to be upset. It’s cheap. And that’s what the show is now. All its heart-string tugs, they’re too sudden or awkward, because the writers don’t want to show the growth and the layering to it, they just want you to be sad or ‘interested’ and that’s it.)
The characters we’ve grown to know and love (the ones that are still around...) are not the same. They are different people, and it’s sad to watch them act directly against the traits we’ve come associate with them. (Ex: Claire ‘apologizing’ to Melendez, and being proud that she is willingly making herself look like the one in the wrong just to save his ego. Claire would never do that. She is strong-willed and independent, and she has worked too hard to step down for anyone, especially a man. Glassman and Shaun told each other they loved each other at the end of season one. A moment that made us all scream, a moment that was actually built up to for once, a moment that we were waiting for, that was so important to both of them...and a moment that was immediately forgotten. Throughout season two, Shaun has been significantly detached from Glassman and his treatment for someone that was so distraught before. There have been a couple cute/supportive moments...but only a couple. For a large majority, they’ve ignored one another. Glassman giving up so easily, knowing that Shaun is trapped with a virus and not even calling anyone to ask how he is???? Nope. #NotMyGlassman. Lim yelling at Claire in season one for not supporting her as women in power that need to stick together and show one another respect, only to immediately snap and scream at the judge during her trial in season two, and stroking Melendez’s ego as well.)
Plotlines and conflicts. They are overly dramatic and don’t make sense when you step back and look at them, not to mention there are so many infuriating double standards just to make an issue. (Ex: It’s such an issue Shaun cannot express empathy, but when Park talks down to a patient for having weight loss surgery and outs him to his husband, and when Morgan is...Morgan 24/7, there’s no issue at all. Obviously Shaun is the only one in the wrong. Just like he was the only one in the wrong for Lea demanding forgiveness and calling him a jackass, even though she’s never been shown to be that high-strung especially to Shaun. He’s wrong there, too, nobody else. For reasons entirely unrelated to what you’re thinking about, yessir. These are direct plotlines just colliding with each other because the writers cannot keep track of them.)
Look...there are just so many more things I could go on to say. But this post is getting too long. I don’t want to leave the fandom altogether; some part of me still hopes the writing will pull through and the show will get back to the way it was. So I’ll keep watching and waiting for that. But for now, that is why I can’t bring myself to write headcanons or fics or anything like that, and why it just pains me when people ask me to. The show isn’t as investing, as emotional, as meaningful. It’s degraded, and I can’t be happy with it right now. Or write for it.
There are other shows that had better writing, had better truer-to-themselves characters, kept the feeling it had from the pilot straight to its final episode, had overreaching/steady/connecting plotlines, was detailed to the very core, kept in mind everything it stood for, but have been unfairly forgotten, and I miss. And I miss The Good Doctor too, but not for the same reason. I miss The Good Doctor because ever since last winter finale, it’s gone downhill and it’s still going downhill. And it kind of pains me to see the difference between those.
Not gonna delete this blog, I’ll still be here the way I have been popping in every so often...but just for the people that ask where I am/comment on DNH/message me and ask why I’m not writing. This is why. Just made a post for them.
#Long post but a needed one#I mean nobody will read it but they SHOULD because I get about five people a day asking me if I'm coming back and...I just can't right now#The Good Doctor#Season Two#I had higher hopes for this show...still waiting for them to be reached#Personal#Not a headcanon#I mean you know it’s sad when I literally want to ignore ALL canon if I even think of writing more for TGD...
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When they ask me what I liked best, I’ll say it was you.
It’s been a long time since I wrote and it’s time for an update. Live has been an incredibly mixed bag, full of skyrocketing highs and hell-deep lows. The paradox that is live is still challenging me with the lemons it tries to throw at me and I am still not any better at making lemonade.
As usual, lots of what has happened has centred around men. I guess it’s fair to say that I have come to terms with the biggest feelings in me always being evoked by men. No matter what other amazing things happen, my mind and heart only seems to care about that one thing. For the past one and half years that I’ve been single I tried hard to teach myself to be content on my own. To not seek for affection and validation from men and just be happy and strong on my own. But maybe it’s a fool’s errand I’m running. Maybe it is better to allow myself to recognize that what I am seeking is love. Not any kind of love. But the deep, sincere and passionate love you see in movies. It’s no coincidence that when I feel depressed I turn to watch movies or TV shows in which the story is built around two people deeply caring for each other with such passion that nothing can keep them apart.
The sort of love Romeo feels for Juliet, Jamie feels for Claire and Seth feels for Maggie. And come to think of it, all of these are examples where their love is not meant to be – Juliet falling in love with the rivalling family’s son, Claire falling in love with Jamie, a man 200 years her junior and Maggie falling in love with Seth the Angel. All of them overcome incredible obstacles between them to be together.
Watching these movies makes me weep. Because deep down I know that there is a high chance that I will die and never have felt the kind of love these characters feel for each other. And then I get angry and mad at myself for being so naïve and stupid to chase after fairytales.
Does love like that exist in real life? I know not one real life example. Not one. So, it seems I am setting myself up for failure and yet, what can I do. The heart demands what the heart demands.
It also seems that this is a reason why I keep falling for the unlikely lover. The Swiss scoundrel musician, the Brazilian passionate forever bachelor.
There is one lover I haven’t told you about. His name is Nate and he is also quite the unlikely lover. We matched on Tinder and at first I was certain I matched with a fake profile. He had only one image but that packed a punch. We started texting and that’s all we did for 2 weeks since I was traveling. When I got back home we decided to meet – he kind of invited himself to my place suggested I cook something. He came, and besides the fact that he didn’t seem to like the food I had cooked we also didn’t exactly hit it off conversation wise. It became clear quite quickly that we had huge differences in values – him having had a conservative Muslim upbringing in Egypt and me having been brought up very liberal. There was mention of his marriage having been arranged and sometimes he would start sentences with “in my religion we do...”. At some point during the evening I was certain I should send him home; but, we both had had some beers and he had come by car and since he was hot after all and I was needy I thought to myself “might as well”.
Looking back, it was one of the best decisions I’ve made in the past year. The sex was out of this world not just because I finally seemed to have found someone who put my pleasure over his own. But he just also clearly knew what he was doing. The way he touched me, held me in his strong arms, kissed me. It was so full of passion that it took me quite by surprise. That first night, we had sex for hours and after that he stayed the night and we fell asleep tired, in each others arms.
That was back in September. 8 months ago. We have been dating ever since. Not very seriously in the sense that we are not boyfriend and girlfriend and have never had “the talk” in which we defined our relationship. But somehow it just worked for both of us. He has a complicated family life – technically still married and has two kids but is trying to get a divorce which, let’s just say is neither a very common nor a very easy thing to do in his culture. And me, not really wanting a relationship cause “hey, I’m an independent woman now” and also traveling a lot. So, we have been meeting every so often, usually every 2-3 weeks. And every time, we meet we have a fantastic time together. We cook together, laugh, watch football or a movie and still, each time, have incredible sex.
He is also the first guy who does not fool around. With that I simply mean that he doesn’t make things more complicated than they need to be. When he reads my message, he replies. As soon as he’s read it. That might not sound like a big deal but it actually is. Because for some reason all my earlier encounters ALWAYS took their time replying. Often having me wait for days and the replying in an ambigous way. He doesn’t do that. He doesn’t play. He is straight forward, honest and when I ask for example “when will we meet again” he says things like “honey, you tell me when you have time and I will make it happen”. I appreciate that a lot in him. I can also tell that he is an incredibly loving father to his children and just generally a good guy.
Which really isn’t what I expected when I first saw him. Why? Because he is insanely good looking and the first impression you might get is that he is a total player. I’ve stayed sceptic all throughout us dating but not a single time has he given me any reason to believe that he’s playing with me or using me. At least not more than I am using him. And knowing quite a bit about his family life I know for a fact that he wouldn’t even have time to date other women as well.
He is super sensual and caring and lying in his arms has been the rock that kept me sane over these past months where depression and burn out have been taking quite a toll on me again. But we both always knew our time together had an expiration date and a short while ago we found out about that date. The second of June. That’s when he will move back to Egypt and although I keep telling myself that I am not in love with him, it will crush my heart.
But if he is so amazing, why am I not in love with him you might ask. Well, remember those differences in values? That is a real thing. And although he is a truly good human being, he for example is very narrow minded when it comes to for example immigration and matters around sexual orientation. It’s just the way he’s been brought up. Not sharing the same values on such crucial world views is, I believe, what keeps me from truly falling in love with him. Looking at it one way, I guess that’s a good thing.
p.s.: I will keep editing this story over the next few weeks, our last weeks together.
Edit 1: After having been 3 weeks apart, we met last night. We had dinner together and then things moved to the bedroom pretty quickly. I don’t know if it was the fact that we hadn’t seen each other for a long time, or the fact that we both now that the end of our relationship is near but it almost seemed like our love making was even more passionate which is not something I thought possible. The embrace we were in was so strong it almost took my breath away. After many hours, we went to sleep. Usually I first fall asleep in his arms but then for comfort I turn around playing “little spoon”. I fell into a light slumber when I suddenly noticed he was stroking my hair, my cheek, my shoulder. Somehow it felt like the most loving and caring way I have ever been touched. I will never forget it.
Edit 2: Well... this didn’t exactly end as I expected and I’m not even sure what happened. I’ll just lay it out for you and you can make up your own mind as to what went wrong here.
So... after our last meeting which went really well and the fact that I knew he was leaving soon anyways, I kind of felt like I can let my guard down. Which only meant that I was a bit more forthcoming in expressing the fact that I’d like to see him as much as possible before he leaves. I wrote to him that I had only one wish before he left and that it was that we’d spend one full night and day together, without me having to go to work in the morning or him having to pick up his kids. His response was super sweet, he said that yes for sure we will manage because he is also tired of rushing away first thing in the morning and he also “needs this”. All fine and dandy. He then said that he will try and get a day off from the kids on the weekend so we could be together. That was on a Monday. By Wednesday evening I still hadn’t heard from him and so I texted him - here is the conversation
What you need to know, is that he will move to Egypt with the kids but his ex wife (”that woman”) will not follow until a few months later. So what my message was trying to express was just surprise that she would care about her kids so little that she’d rather go to her cousin than spend time with her kids while she still can.
Either way, I did not respond to his last message as I was pissed off about him telling me off by saying “let me deal with it my way”. I was pissed because over the past months I had been incredibly understanding, patient and tolerant about his situation with his ex and him having to cancel meetings last minute due to stuff with the kids etc. Fact is, his situation with his ex is so fucked up that not a lot of women would have made up with that shit. But I did, so I didn’t need him telling me to let him deal with it his way.
So I didn’t reply. And neither did he. That conversation happened on Wednesday. He did not text to confirm if we would meet on the weekend or not. He did not message me at all. For a week. I then saw a post on his instagram that he was on his way to the Netherlands. And I was gonna go to Croatia the following weekend. So this then confirmed, that the only day we would still see each other would be the public holiday before the weekend he was leaving. Although I even had my doubts about that since I knew he had to pack and empty his apartment etc.
But the point was... here we were, having a few last chances to spend time together and you decide to be an asshole and not text me.
Of course I thought if I should text him, if I’m over reacting. But no... I was super clear about what it was I wanted - see him. And I wasn’t the one not having time. So the ball was definitely in his court.
So one lonely and sad Wednesday evening I decide to re-download Tinder. Just to pass time and see what’s out there. And guess who I came across. Mr. “let me deal with it my way”.
Now again, you might say “well you were on Tinder too”. But the reason why I think this is a bit different is because I will still spend time in this country while he is leaving in two weeks... I had been on Tinder every so often and never ran into his profile anymore and this was a new profile, with very recent images, so he had to have set it up recently.
It stung. Badly.
I did what I always do in situations like this, which is be dramatic. I removed him from my Instagram, unfollowed him and deleted all messages.
And that’s it. End of story. Never heard from him. He’s leaving in 5 days.
I was quite sad for a while because it could have ended with love and respect for each other. But it all went to shit instead. Most of all I felt stupid because I truly thought he cared about me in some way.
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Best Movies of 2018
My favorite movies of the year were rough around the edges. Ambitious, personal works that were messy and real. There were a lot of big films this year that I personally didn't like that much (or at all), but I really love this list of films and I hope you check them out.
Still need to See: Bird Box, Border, Cold War, Custody, Dark River, I Am Not a Witch, On the Basis of Sex, Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse, Summer '93, The Third Murder, Tyrel, Unsane, Where Hands Touch, Where is Kyra?
Films I didn't prioritize because someone involved has behaved in a way that makes me uninterested in their work: The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Can You Ever Forgive Me?, The Death of Stalin, The House That Jack Built, A Simple Favor
Really Liked:
-Annihilation (dir. Alex Garland)
-Blockers (dir. Kay Cannon)
-Crazy Rich Asians (dir. Jon Chu)
-Destroyer (dir. Karyn Kusama)
-Let the Sunshine In (dir. Claire Denis)
-Mary Poppins Returns (dir. Rob Marshall)
-Mission: Impossible - Fallout (dir. Christopher McQuarrie)
-The Rider (dir. Chloé Zhao)
-Private Life (dir. Tamara Jenkins)
-Skate Kitchen (dir. Crystal Moselle)
-We the Animals (dir. Jeremiah Zagar)
-You Were Never Really Here (dir. Lynne Ramsay)
Really Really Liked:
-Eighth Grade (dir. Bo Burnham)
-Happy as Lazzaro (dir. Alice Rohrwacher)
-Leave No Trace (dir. Debra Granik)
-Love, Simon (dir. Greg Berlanti)
-Mary Queen of Scots (dir. Josie Rourke)
-Nancy (dir. Christina Choe)
-On Body and Soul (dir. Ildikó Enyedi)
-Tully (dir. Jason Reitman)
Loved:
10. Black Panther (dir. Ryan Coogler)
Finally. Proof that Hollywood doesn’t have to choose between style, substance, and entertainment. Black Panther was the biggest film of the year and also one of the best. With stunning cinematography by Rachel Morrison, inspired costumes by Ruth E. Carter, and an album of the year worthy soundtrack by Kendrick Lamar, Ryan Coogler has broken through the Marvel machine to make something truly special. And like all the best superhero movies the supporting cast is incredible, Letitia Wright being the obvious standout, along with moral foils Michael B. Jordan and Lupita Nyong'o. This is everything I want from big budget filmmaking and it's such an exciting relief to be reminded that it's possible.
9. The Tale (dir. Jennifer Fox)
The Hollywood Reporter recently published an article about the 16-year-old girl who inspired Woody Allen's Manhattan. The woman, reflecting on her time with the director and known child molester, is unsure how to frame their time together. She was underage and knowing what she knows now about Allen, their affair feels different. But at the time she was in love. Reading this article, I felt overwhelming gratitude for filmmaker Jennifer Fox and The Tale, a painful and important movie about her own teenage love affair, about her own rape. Fox's vulnerability and skill not only make this a great movie, but a truly life-changing experience. There is one moment in particular that uses cinema in a way I've never seen before. This is by no means an easy film to watch, but it's really worthwhile if you can handle it.
8. Dirty Computer (dir. Janelle Monáe & others)
This "emotion picture" available to watch on YouTube strikes such a moving balance between pure joy, harsh reality, and cautious hope. Its very existence is a sign that its optimism is not misplaced. Musicians have become some of our greatest auteurs with voices and stories Hollywood would otherwise ignore. Janelle Monáe along with Chuck Lightning, Emma Westenberg, Alan Ferguson, and Lacey Duke created a film that is at once a sci-fi epic, a visual album, a public coming out, a celebration of queerness/Blackness/femaleness, and an ode to everybody different. This year was bleak and nothing brought me more comfort than this movie, this album, and obsessing over Monáe and star Tessa Thompson's relationship.
7. Good Manners (dir. Juliana Rojas, Marco Dutra)
Come for the lesbian werewolf musical fairy tale genre mashup, stay for the complicated explorations of race, class, and parenthood. This movie is overflowing with so many ideas, cinematically and thematically, it's thrilling to watch it all fit together. It's so rare to watch a movie and have literally no idea where it's going and I will cherish the experience of my first viewing (I literally SCREAMED at one moment in a crowded theatre, seriously) while also hungrily rewatching to unpack everything that's going on. I can't promise it will all work for you, but I can promise you won't be bored.
6. Shirkers (dir. Sandi Tan)
As a teenager Sandi Tan made a feature film with her friends and an enigmatic mentor. Imagined as the start of a Singapore New Wave, their dreams were crushed when the mentor vanished with the film reels. Now decades later, Tan's documentary recalls the experience… with the help of the recovered reels. Part memoir/part mystery/part lost cinema classic, Shirkers is about youthful creativity, exploitation, and so much more. Ultimately this is a portrait of an art form. Within its 95 minutes it encapsulates everything movies can do and everything movies take. It's currently streaming on Netflix and a must-watch for anyone who makes movies or cares about how they're made.
5. Widows (dir. Steve McQueen)
Like a Michael Mann movie if Michael Mann cared about things other than digital cameras, Steve McQueen's cold and stellar heist movie lacks subtlety in all the best ways. Led by Viola Davis this candidate for greatest movie cast ever of all time ever does not disappoint. Everybody is so, so good, and it's thrilling to watch this kind of 1970s American genre film through a point of view that doesn't belong to white men. There's a lot to unpack here, with character, plot, and theme, and I've only seen it once, but that was enough to know that this is a capital G Great movie.
4. The Miseducation of Cameron Post (dir. Desiree Akhavan)
Not every queer person has gone to conversion therapy, but I'd guess most of us have doubted our feelings and our identities. What could have easily been a more serious But I'm a Cheerleader instead finds its own purpose, its own humor, and ultimately exists as a still relevant portrayal of the gaslighting we continue to face for just being ourselves. Chloë Grace Moretz gives one of the best performances of the year as the equal parts cool and vulnerable Cameron and my love for writer/director Desiree Akhavan knows no bounds.
NOTE: Sasha Lane plays a character who is disabled and Forrest Goodluck plays a character who is Two-Spirit despite not being so themselves. Considering how good the film is otherwise I dream of a version with a supporting cast who understand the experience of their characters.
3. If Beale Street Could Talk (dir. Barry Jenkins)
Like the masterpiece of a novel it's based on, Barry Jenkins third film is an overwhelming tribute to life in the face of despair. Instead of offering hope, instead of suggesting that being Black in America will someday be easier, Beale Street shows how love, romantic and familial, can provide temporary escape and a reason for being. The entire cast is incredible and gorgeous. Every frame is lush, the score is beautiful, and the moments of joy are as moving as the moments of pain. We are so lucky to be alive while Barry Jenkins is making movies.
2. Shoplifters (dir. Hirokazu Kore-Eda)
I went into Kore-Eda's Palme d'Or winning tribute to chosen family ready to feel grateful for my own chosen family. The friends, mentors, beauticians(!), doctors(!!) who have loved and supported me and made me feel like I wasn't alone these past few years. That happened. But what surprised me was how much it made me appreciate my biological family as well. Like the houses in my favorite TV show of the year, Pose, the makeshift family of Shoplifters ends up being like any other. There are clashing personalities, there are frustrations, there are fights. But more than anything there is care, there is self-sacrifice, there is love. Community is not defined by perfection. Family is not defined by perfection. Kore-Eda has spent much of his career asking the question, "What is family?" and this film provides the least and most satisfying answers.
1. In Between (dir. Maysaloun Hamoud)
I loved my favorite movie of the year so deeply that a one paragraph pitch just won't do. Fortunately, the best site on the entire online, Autostraddle, had me write a gushy review. Read it here or if you're already convinced watch In Between free on Kanopy and then read it:
https://www.autostraddle.com/in-between-review-the-super-gay-super-feminist-film-no-ones-talking-about-444114/
Television!
Extremely honorable mentions like how is there so much good TV these all deserve to be in the top ten: BoJack Horseman (S5), High Maintenance (S2), Insecure (S3), Jane the Virgin (S4), Random Acts of Flyness (S1), Sharp Objects, Supergirl (S4), Take My Wife (S2)
10. Killing Eve (S1)
9. Atlanta (S2)
8. The Good Place (S2/3)
7. The Americans (S6)
6. The Bisexual (S1)
5. ACS: The Assassination of Gianni Versace
4. Queen Sugar (S3)
3. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (S3/S4)
2. Vida (S1)
1. Pose (S1)
#Best Movies of 2018#In Between#Bar Bahar#Shoplifters#If Beale Street Could Talk#The Miseducation of Cameron Post#Widows#Shirkers#Good Manners#Dirty Computer#The Tale#Black Panther#On Body and Soul#Eighth Grade#Happy as Lazzaro#Leave No Trace#Love Simon#Mary Queen of Scots#Nancy#Tully
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