#and after a year and a half w my current housemate I have mostly trained my brain out of
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I think there are therapeutic benefits to the house being kinda messy actually
#sometimes I can’t find things and it’s annoying and then i organize stuff#but for the life of me I cannot KEEP shit tidy#it is simply not going to happen#and after a year and a half w my current housemate I have mostly trained my brain out of#You Left The Book Press & Floss On The Coffee Table And She’s Secretly Fuming About It#but it’s very slow and very stressful#now you might be saying#why not clear the embroidery floss off the coffee table when you’re done#and the answer is if I do that I’ll never finish but also#I don’t know I do Not know#I just found a thing I drew for an assignment in college#it was ‘show everything you did yesterday’#there’s no dialogue but I have a sequence where a housemate has a lot of !!! pointing to dirty dishes#and then I make a face and do the dishes#and then I eat and watch tv#and she comes back and goes !!!! again because I’ve now left a new bowl out#and I drew it to be funny and it’s framed as being funny#but it made me kinda sad to look at it#I used to get in this huge stress spiral about cleaning#at one point I explained to my therapist that I could not clear my stuff out of the living room#until none of my housemates were home#because I did not want them to see me doing it#and I don’t think I realized how deranged that was until right now#which isn’t to say any housemates were ever unjustified#idk fam many thoughts tonight#not being afraid and or aware that everyone in your house is mad at you for admittedly justified reasons#that you are unable to fix to their satisfaction#is really relaxing#you don’t realize weight till it’s gone etc etc#my life
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