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fangirlfreak08 · 9 months

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My (positive only) thoughts on the rwrb movie

BAD REPUTATION

I’d be down’ and ‘actually I’d argue that-‘ is so on brand for Alex I love him already

The lil intro thing is jokes

It’s giving MAJOR early 2000s romcom vibes and I’m LOVING it

DAVID BOWIE

Shaan taking none of Alex’s shit what an icon

We love Henry being a lil history neek

His mum outranks my mum HENRY STOP I LOVE YOU

‘Means you’ve got good taste Alex’ is so crushing Henry coded

‘And why do you dislike me?’ He sounds like a bratty three year old I’m howling

‘I need to get out of here’ BECAUSE HE WAS CRUSHING I CANNOT

I’m sorry what the actual fuck was Henry talking to that kid about? Cause I heard ‘it’s so sticky as well’

Wait is Miguel Liam? Also bestie Alex why are you admitting this was a cover up so easily my guy you are in PUBLIC

Oh yeah no it is those two have definitely hooked up

EYELASHES

What an entrance to his dms Henry truly (also what is that bitmoji bestie 😭)

HRH PRINCE DICKHEAD

BUT WE WERE EVER SO CAREFUL DEAR WE ARE FUCKING WINNING BOOK FANS

No because this is such a cute way of showing the text messages?? Like Alex and Nora hanging out and Henry just ranting cause he’s all Alex can think about is adorable

‘Bellend’ please he’s so British

HENRY ON ALEXS BED AS THEY TALK I CANNOT THIS IS BETTER THEN ANYTHING I COULDVE IMAGINED

That entire convo was gold

Okay so then making Nora June with pez confirmed?

GET LOW YESSSS

Henry’s awkard dancing I actually adore him he’s so me

THEH GAVE US THE MUSIC FADES OUT ONLY FOCUS ON THEM MOMENT LIKE WE KNEW WE WERE GETTING IT BUT STILL

Oh ok so Alex and Nora aren’t gonna kiss it’s just random girls

Are Alex and Nora exes in this or no?

I’m half an hour into this and it’s taken me an hour cause I keep freaking out

‘Made me understand the difference between rugby and football’ Alex bestie what the hell are you going on about?

‘I can wrap my head around being low level into guys’ ‘I’ve been with two guys’ ALEX

wait so is Liam like a different person still? The guy from high school and Miguel is just another guy?

AMY WALKING IN ON THEM PLEASE

FUCK OFF ok so we might not of have got Henry singing the national anthem but we got ruining the names of a bunch of British landmarks so yay! Ig?

I love how in the book he’s early and in the film he’s late? Like what?

So they’re just gonna casually mention Henry ‘fancying’ Alex since the beginning (is that what we’re calling it these days?)

As gay as maypole, ok so we’re not getting that line later then

HANOVER STUART PLEASE ARE THEY NOT ALLOWED TO USE MOUNTCHRISTEN WINDSOR BUT ALSO WHY OF ALL THE OLD ROYAL NAMES THOSE TWO?!

HENRY YOU ARE ALSO IN PUBLIC

OMG ACTUAL CANON CONFIRMATION THAT PRINCE HENRY AND HENRY FOX ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE?! LIKE ACTUAL EXPLICITLY SAID?!

This is not very causal friends with benefits of you I’ve gotta say, it’s giving major love of my life deep convos

LANA DEL RAY 😭

DEAR

Bestie this is really not very casual of you

Slay politics talk! (I have no idea what any of this means I’m way to English for this shit)

Omg Alex being a politics nerd! Also why does he know his mum better than she knows herself 😭

Don’t he’s so happy to be back in Texas I’m gonna cry when he gets fired

EMAILS THE EMAILS ARE STARTING

HE DID THE LINE HE DID THE SHOULD I TELL YOU THAT LINE

NO SHIT HES ABOUT TO START TALKING ABOUT ARTHUR

Ok wait not he’s not it’s fine

Bloody love zahra

LITTLE LORD FUCKLEROY

His mothers book?

ALEX WAS READING ONE LAST STOP I LOVE IT WHEN AUTHORS DO THAT

There’s a distinct lack of Bea in this movie

THEY MADE HIM SING BADLY POOR NICHOLAS

KARAOKE BITCHES

Alex while Henry is singing is the DEFINITION of ‘Alex is so in love he could die’

Ok so they just changed Oscar to senator of Texas rather than California

Honestly props to Nicholas cause you can see him rethinking all his life choices that led him to that moment

He fr went peace and jumped and I love him for that

NOOOOO HENRY

also did he just like leave pez there or what?

Please for the love of god put Bea in a leather jacket I beg

AHHH HES PLAYING THE PIANO

Slay prince Henry bbg

I CAN LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU AND STILL NOT WANT THAT LIFE YES THAT IS MY FAVOURITE PART OF THAT SCENE IM SO GLAD ITS THERE

Okay so they’re going straight to the v&a? Slay ig

Literal tears in my eyes over that MINUSCULE Arthur fox mention

They changed your song 😭

Okay I actually like this though

HISTORY HUH BET WE COULD MAKE SOME YES THIS IS PERFECT (but also does this mean no one’s gonna know about that line?)

If I had a nickel for every-time one of the guys in a queer couple said I love you in a hug….

Nah this is gonna be it isn’t it

Shit shit no I’m not prepared for this, not from Henry’s pov fuck off im already nearly crying and I’ve got it paused

NO NOT PHOTOS OF THEM AT THE V&A THAT WAS MEANT TO BE JUST THEIRS

is this how people know about history huh?

Also I’m sorry but Reddit? Really?

Okay yep I cried

PREACH ALEX PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR THIS

I fucking love zahra

‘Mooing over the prince like a cow in labour’

Alex is gobsmacked

WE GOT A BABY GUYS

Them playing the national anthem together was not on my bingo card

Also the subtitles say it has an actual name?? I legit just thought it was called god save the king/queen respectively

‘My affection comes with strings’

YESSS SLAY SHAAN THE OG BOYFRIEND ON A STRING

Also we love to see firstprince gossip

Okay that shot of Henry going to twist his ring only to pan over to Alex twisting the ring means SO MUCH TO ME ITS UNREAL

Minor slay to the king for putting Philip in his place (never thought I’d say that)

The way Henry slouches before he asks that question makes my day

‘Homosexual’ im sorry that prononciation has added years to my life can we all say it like that now please?

Not them swapping the motorbikes for bicycles 😭😭

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #Henry fox mountchristen Windsor

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ellaelsinore · 8 months

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I am three Mike's Hard Lemonades deep in my own despair, and I'm going to watch Red White and Royal blue for the third time. I've been trying to put my thoughts together on the movie which is almost impossible because the book is such a HUGE part of my soul. Maybe I'll have a coherent thought.

Right off the bat, fuck Phillip. I need someone to call him Pip and kick his ass.

Why is Bea the younger sister? The dynamic is changed so much for that, she is supposed to be the older sister that Henry takes care of because of her addiction.

WHERE IN THE GOOD GOD IS JUNE?!!? Alex does not play well as an only child, it makes him seem even more entitled and idiotic, he has no one to ground him, no one to tell him when he is being a complete asshole. Nora is great but she's also not Nora. She's some weird amalgamation of June and Nora and it makes me miss both of them.

Alex is too tall.

ALEX IS TOO TALL AND THEYRE TOO OLD. Seeing these two MEN trying to act like they are 20-somethings trying to find themselves and their places in this queer world that they are newly apart of, is awkward. This is not what 22 yo men look like, all broad shouldered and confident. Both of these boys need something to grow into, to have room to grow into themselves and each other, and when they look like 31 yo models who work out every day and don't have a blemish or an awkward bone in their body, it is so much less believable. I understand that Alex is supposed to be super charming, but you can be super charming and ALSO insecure and anxious. They're so one-dimensional it actually painful.

I love Henry's face. Excellent face acting from him, he's like the best of both of them. Subtle and understated but brilliant.

The cake scene sucks. It's boring, there's not enough people and NO ONE would have been able to get that close to Henry for that long. Also, I hope that is fake cake.

Bad Reputation is a little on the nose, don't you think?

ALEX IS TOO TALL.

Zarha is too friendly. I want him to think that she's going to kill him, he needs the fear of Zahra put into him.

Uma Thurman is a wonderful actor, she is not right for Ellen Claremont. There is no softness to her, very little affection, she seems unfocused on everything, which Ellen is not. Ellen is laser focused on winning the election. Or laser focused on her kids. I also am not sure who did her blocking because Ellen seems high, like all the time.

Love the Mitch McConnell joke.

I miss Cash. Amy is wonderful, but I miss Cash. I need their little conspiritory moments.

We need more of the boys being mean to each other. This is how they fell in love, the little quips, the jokes, the thinly veiled flirting. They're not mean enough to each other, not as biting. The relationship evolves so fast, we don't really get to see where they came from. What they were like together before, when they "hated" each other.

Alex is too tall and too hot. Henry looks like a human, Alex looks like the statue of David. Taylor is a wonderful actor, don't get me wrong but there are moments when Henry is supposed to be larger, broader, stronger than Alex, be able to wrap Alex in his body and they lose their impact when Henry has to look up to Alex. Half of the book Alex is angry that Henry is taller than he is, its actually a time when height does matter!

I love Shaan. I need more of him. I need MORE of the relationship between Henry and Shaan, Henry trusts him so much and we never see it.

Why not the Rio Olympics?

The banter on these two idiots, this is what I want to see from them, I want more of these two morons insulting each other.

SUPPLY CLOSET. The acting in this scene is actually impeccable. I believe them as real people. As stupid, moronic young men with baggage and feelings and private lives and misunderstandings.

I love Amy.

Henry when no one is looking is my favorite Henry.

There's something overly confident about Alex that is almost off-putting. He ACTS older, he acts with more life experience and doesn't have any vulnerability in the beginning.

SOMEONE PLEASE SAY FUCK.

Why are his parents not divorced? Are we trying to make the relationships more palatable to heteronormative society? Why are we taking that stressor and pressure off of the situation? People get divorced, people learn to work together after divorce to support their children and each other. Let the Claremont-Diaz's have that victory together.

Miguel is a fucking dick. The only out, gay character is a complete and utter slimy, smarmy, jackass who just wants to get into Alex's pants and get his story. He is gross and I for one do not like the implication of the only out and proud gay character being the one who fucks everything up. He is the only "role model" for Alex as a gay man and he is the fucking worst. He acts like all the straight men I have ever met in a bar. AND HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO SAY JACK SHIT ABOUT ALEX"S EYELASHES

I need all of the text messages. They are some of the best interactions in the entire book, the most honest, what is really going on in their heads, how they fell in love.

ITS ABOUT PATTERNS.

Turkey Gate. More desperation from Alex. A younger man's reaction. 30 yo men don't panic when a turkey gobbles. 22 yo men might, especially if they are drunk. I just want him to be younger. I feel terrible making those kinds of judgements because Taylor is a great actor. He does wonderfully for what he has been given and I can acknowledge that and enjoy his performance but I still want 22 yo vulnerable AGCD.

Who wears a polo to bed?

There's a softness to Henry's face that is missing from Alex's, a gentleness that makes you feel so sorry for him and the life he is forced into him.

Please don't sleep on top of your comforter.

This party is so much smaller than anticipated. I wonder if they couldn't get a large enough set or enough extras. There aren't enough bodies for 500 people, no one has taken off a jacket or their shoes. The couches are empty, the dance floor extends 10 feet.

I miss June.

Pez. Why are you not Pez.

Get Low brings back middle school dances. I do not care to elaborate.

The first time Alex looks young is drunk just after getting kissed by some girl and then realizing Henry is gone.

I cannot get past a 30 yo man acting stupid, drunk and oblivious. I'm 34, I have life experiences that make finding your friend outside in the snow less of a "did I do something wrong?" moment and more of a "get the fuck inside so we can talk about this" moment.

Thank you for the hair grab intimacy coordinator.

Nice touch with the text messages showing that Henry read them.

I think we need Liam to put some context into Alex's history with his sexuality.

Gay panic always sells.

"Shut up. Shut all the way the fuck up." Please someone say fuck.

That was not 5 minutes.

This interaction about Henry's erection and the 500 feet away instructions are the first time that their interactions feel human and like them, the two idiots in the first throes of love. (Probably because those instructions are right out of the book).

Henry literally just sucked Alex off and his hair isn't even messed up. His tie and shoes are still on. He's not even flushed or sweaty, what the fuck intimacy coordinator, I gave you credit for the hair pulling, lets get on this.

I appreciate Henry's nervous tick with his ring. I also think I just like his face.

(4th Mike's Hard, 1/2 a CBD gummie)

POLO POLO

Since I already watched the movie, I know what I am going to be mad about in this scene. The tack room sex scene in the book was the most awkward, rushed, messy, silly, glorious scene and they MONTAGED OVER IT. They took out all of the urgency, the time crunch the fact that Henry in leather boots does something for Alex. This is my favorite sex scene by far in the book. It's their first real, public tryst in the real world, outside the confines of the residence or the secret service. They could EASILY get caught. But they don't care, not enough to stop them from almost fucking on a table in a room that smells like horses and leather and sweat. This is the first time that the reader gets to see where we're headed, that we are looking down the barrel of two strong-willed idiots falling in love whether they want to or not. I think that is one of the things that the book really puts across that the movie is missing - the sheer urgency of everything that they have to do, the shortness of their time together, the lengths that have to be gone to for these morons to be together. It does not let up for a minute and it keeps you on the edge of your seat as they fall more in love and get more reckless and the world gets more complicated around them. Fuck, this movie is too clean.

Finally chinos.

They only look moderately fucked.

I miss the queen. I get that it might not be proper or whatever since she recently passed away but there's something taken away when it it not the queen mother, men are supposed to want to fix things and cover them up and make it all better. Having it be grandma, someone who stereotypically is nurturing and kind, makes it hurt all the more that she doesn't want to support her grandson, a man who is NOT in line for the throne, who is not using the crown's money, who just wants to live his life. It hurts so much.

The movie needs the pull of law school for Alex. He is so one dimensional, so focused on politics that there seem to be no other options for him, even though we know that Henry DOES NOT WANT THAT LIFE.

Again, there is a softness to Henry, to everything about him, that makes him more believable, more human. Why do I like his face?

Alex is so charming almost to the point of too much confidence. Like he can do anything. Without being nervous or anxious. I want to see the raw underside of that confidence.

Can Henry not wear a suit for a hot second? Him in sweatpants and soft pajamas is the sweetest part of getting to know Henry Fox, the man behind the royalty. I still feel like I know nothing about Henry and even less about Alex. We don't know his dreams, his fears, his aspirations, the LSAT scores in his desk, the constant running himself ragged to do everything and be everything. He's our main character and we get nothing.

The fact that Ellen doesn't get to make a PowerPoint means that we miss some of the BEST jokes in the slide titles.

Thank you for reiterating that the B is not silent in LGBTQ+.

You love him forever you stupid idiot.

Nice plug for Casey's most recent book, One Last Stop, which is INCREDIBLE.

Where are the kimonos? Why does Pez look normal?

I see them falling in love, but there is nothing like hearing it in Alex's own voice, in his own head.

The smile on Henry makes my heart melt.

If the only person in this whole movie who mentions Alex's eyelashes is MIGUEL, I will summarily LOSE MY COLLECTIVE SHIT again because I know that's what happens and I'm allowed to continue to be angry.

I can't watch Henry leave. There is so much pain in his eyes, it just breaks my goddamn heart. Except we don't need the view from Henry's side, Alex's mayhem is fueled by the not knowing and it is so much better when we find out right alongside Alex that Henry loves him, really and truly loves him in the way that might ruin his life.

Fuck you Pip.

A 30 yo man would not fly to London in the middle of the night. I'm sorry I want him to be younger.

I realize that I haven't said anything about Rafael Luna, BECAUSE HES NOT IN THE MOVIE, which is a damn travesty. Miguel being the gay role model and also the BBEG is not a good look for a movie about two boys falling in love.

There's my one fuck. Not in the most appropriate place but there it is.

The emotion from Henry for the first time, anger, almost despair, is probably the first raw thing I believe in this movie. The set of his jaw that matches Henry in the book. The pain in his eyes, raising his voice for the first time, in his silk bathrobe and no shoes, hits where it should. Potentially not as hard as it could have but it hits.

The idea of Henry not wanting that life, or trading the prison of royalty with the prison of politics is fascinating. For so long, the life he wanted was something he could never have. And now that he MIGHT be able to have a life, a real one, he has to struggle with the idea that he will still be in a prison of their own making. Still scrutinized at all turns, still trying to be what the world wants from him instead of who he is. He could no longer be a royal and he would still be under a microscope in the public eye.

"I would never call you a coward." Please kill me.

Collarbones and eyelashes.

Ugh, god, Alex making Henry tell him to leave is so romcom and I still love it.

I am not sold on the museum scene, it doesn't feel right. The weird choreography takes away from the reverence of the whole situation, the two of them being in the private world that Henry only wants to share with the person he loves, Alex. It feels scared in the book, the only thing in the world that Henry keeps to himself, the place where he can lay his heart bare. Its tropey in the movie. Its a set-piece not a secret.

Signet ring goes on the key chain "Two homes next to each other." And he gave him the key.

Gay people would not do this to each other, not for revenge, this is bullshit. I would much rather it be a political scandal than some gross bullshit to get revenge on the man who wouldn't sleep with him or give him a story. Give me the political scandal.

I wish we saw more of the emails, of the words and the quotes and the honesty. The impact of the emails is not stated enough in the movie because we DONT SEE THEM.

Zahra and Shann. Zahra and Shaan!

Lovesick puppy, gross. I feel like Zahra, put those two lovesick homosexuals on the phone so we can move on.

I know this is nitpicky, but why is Henry literally looking to the side while collapsing into his love on the steps? Who coordinated that? Someone in his situation, would have their face buried in their partner's shoulder as close to them as the possibly could be for safety and comfort.

Henry wins best actor in this movie. He's so spot on, he's so believable. Even his hands.

Stephen Frye is the king. Fuck you Pip. Stand up for yourself Henry, you deserve to be yourself whoever that is. You do it!

Your love is vulgar but no one says FUCK.

Alex: It's me. hi, I'm the problem, its me.

If you haven't seen Stephen Frye say "homosexual", you are not living.

Bea, you are so boring.

Henry gets all the good lines. Alex mostly looks pretty which is like not how Alex is portrayed in the book. He's quick witted and snarky, a little mean and a fucking nerd.

I hate that this is where this ends. I hate that jacket.

Overall, the movie was not the worst, but it certainly didn't stomp on my heart like the book did. It tells the story, at the cost of the heart of the book. It tones down the insanity, the desperation, the joy that the book weaves into this story. It's like the story is on low volume in the other room because you don't want to wake your partner at 3 am, the words are there sometimes, but you are missing all of the nuance. It hits all of the big points, but misses the depth of these characters. It misses all the things that make them human and flawed and interesting, all the bits that we want them to overcome and makes the reader want to root for them. Was it fine? Yes. Objectively, a cute, gay, rom com where being gay isn't the twist but learning to be yourself regardless is. Subjectively, disappointing. A gay man being the BBEG is a bold/terrible choice. This was not written by a gay person. And I want to touch on that, there are so many things that just scream "I am not queer". There is no way that a queer person is outing another queer person, two other queer people, on the literal world stage. Coming out is a hugely private and personal choice that some of us get to make and some of us don't but I cannot suspend my disbelief long enough to believe that another queer person would out someone like that. That is some straight people bullshit and it is fucking disrespectful to the others of an already marginalized community. Let politics be the bad guy, not the one other gay man. I miss Raf.

I'm gonna go read the book again.

#rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb book #rwrb spoilers #i just have a lot of feelings

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pawprintsmoon · 3 years

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Henry has no clue; The Aftermath

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31306808/chapters/77401784

Once Alex leans into the kiss, the prince is royally screwed. An immense energy encompasses them, and he loses his breath along with all his remaining sensibilities. He pulls Alex’s hair, eliciting the sweetest, smallest sound. If he doesn’t stop right now, he won’t be able to stop at all.

“Fuck,” Henry swears, pulling back. Apparently, he still has an ounce of sense after all, or at least an ounce of self-preservation. “I’m just, shit. I’m sorry.”

Snow crunches beneath his stumbling feet as he practically runs away from the freshly snogged boy. The boy who must be having a total identity crisis. Even drunk, he could taste Alex’s confused wanting and a yearning that might even match his own. Impossible. The type of impossible that makes you question your interpretation of reality.

The humid heat and festive noises of the Gala overwhelm him as he re-enters the White House. He is sweating under his wool coat and his collar is too tight around his throat. The champagne in his system is tilting the floor, and it’s too much. Where the fuck is Pez?

Eventually, he finds his best friend between June and Nora, all dancing scandalously close to each other. It’s a testament to Pez’s loyalty that as soon as he looks at Henry, he exits the dancefloor, bowing to the ladies.

“What did you do?” Pez asks, leaning close to talk over the music.

“The most foolish thing possible.” He grabs Pez’s arm. “We have to go.”

After a beat, Pez nods. “Okay, let’s go.”

They walk through the party together, Pez’s presence keeping him from unravelling completely. It’s unlikely that Henry is effectively hiding his emotions, what with the drinking and kissing and panicking. Hopefully everyone around them is too intoxicated to notice.

“So, are we just getting some air or are we calling it a night?” Pez asks as they meet their PPOs at the front door. “Should I call a car to take us to the hotel?”

“No.” He imagines Alex showing up at their hotel the next morning, hungover and demanding answers. “No, we’re going home.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.” Henry’s throat is dry and his eyes are unforgivably wet. “Please.”

Pez stares at him, presumably assessing the severity of the situation, before nodding again.

“Okay, I’ll call a car to take us to the airport,” Pez says, pulling out his phone. “And as soon as we board the plane you are telling me everything.”

Within ten minutes, Shaun arrives with their luggage, a shiny black car, and three burly PPOs. Within two hours they are flying over the Atlantic Ocean, Henry pacing up and down the aisle of their private jet while Pez sips champagne.

"What the hell, Hen?" Pez says at last. Henry had been monologuing his panic spirals since they’d boarded the plane and is finally taking a breath.

"It just kind of happened?" Henry replies. He had fucked up, real bad this time.

"Well, to be completely honest with you, that was too fucking awesome!".

"You mean I did the right thing?" Henry asks, disbelief coloring his face. He isn’t sure if he’s asking approval of his choice to kiss Alex or his choice to run away afterwards.

"I don't know, Hen,” Pez says in an apologetic tone. “All I know about Alexander Claremont-Diaz is that you’re obsessed with him. This was bound to happen eventually, right?"

Henry has no clue how to answer, so he sighs and starts his pacing again. He knows he isn't going to sleep tonight, maybe not ever if he has a say in it. Alex might murder him in his sleep, even if he is protected by PPOs all the bloody time. He makes a mental note to ask Shaan to keep an eye out for Alex and his transatlantic flights.

…

"So yeah that happened." Henry finishes telling last night's events to his therapist who sports an impassive expression.

"Henry, why are you so afraid of Alex's reaction? For all you know he might feel the same way," Shannon says. The sincerity and calm in her voice almost soothes his racing heart.

"Because I do know he feels the same way, but he wasn't ready to know that. His obliviousness was the only thing saving us from falling together; the only thing stopping me from losing control. But then I lost control anyways because he’s just so bloody dense! It’s torture. Hell, both Nora and June have caught on. He’s going to be the last person to figure out he is queer! And I don’t, well, I shouldn’t have pushed it. Rash and careless.” Henry is rambling, but isn’t that the point of therapy? “Sometimes I think I reread Jane Austin too much, because I can’t help pining. Fantasizing. I thought, sure, he’ll see our mutual attraction eventually, and I can wait, and generally, or I can resist making idiotic choices I like to think I’m patient, but-"

He stops speaking abruptly and looks away from her sharp gaze. Even after so many years of therapy, it's still hard for him to talk about his feelings.

"But what Henry?" Shannon gently prods him.

"But I was...I got jealous when I saw them kissing and I just couldn't wait any longer for him to be ready. I know it was not fair, but I’ve known for years now.” He sighs. “I was actually just waiting for Pez to have his fun so we could leave. But...but Alex- he came outside looking for me and he was infuriating and couldn’t take a hint. I just couldn't stop myself. God, I'm such an idiot."

"Henry, we have talked about this before. Not everything is your fault. You need to understand that.” She pauses as if to give him an opportunity to agree with her. When he doesn’t, she continues, “And you told me Alex kissed you back so how can you be sure that he doesn't know that he’s queer?"

"Because I know Alex. I’m his best friend, we’ve talked for hours on end and he’s an obliviously stupid prat and I'm in love with him!" Henry snaps, but Shannon already has an answer ready for that.

"Yes Henry, but it doesn't mean that it was a mistake. You may be in love, but that doesn’t mean you know everything about him and his relationship with his sexuality. You aren’t a mind reader. Maybe he’s just playing dumb, and it’s a farce just like yours. The difference is you appear heterosexual while he appears to be oblivious. You can't know for sure."

That gives Henry something to think about, and he goes quiet for several moments.

Could it be that Alex acting so oblivious was just for the public? But that couldn't be. He knows Alex, knows him, knows him. Not only from the months of constant texting and late-night phone calls but also from countless tabloids and magazines. It didn’t feel like Alex was hiding anything from him. But who knows? Maybe he did it so that he could be himself but still not be himself. Maybe, he could enjoy the queerness but pretend not to know in order to save his political career?

No, that is not the Alexander Gabriel Claremont Diaz, he has come to know. He would be out and proud if he knew. Henry suddenly registers the fact that he is overthinking again when Shannon calls his name.

"Yes, Shannon?" Henry asks politely. Apparently she’d been speaking, but he has no idea what she was saying.

“You can tell me what you’re thinking, you know. That’s literally my job.” She smiles wryly and he grants her a weak laugh. “I was just saying that you can’t possibly try to know what he’s thinking about the kiss, or where he is with his sexuality.”

“Exactly! That’s the other thing.” Henry shakes his head. “Maybe I’ve been wrong this whole time. I thought I knew what he wanted, and that I knew what I wanted, but now I don’t know anything. Maybe Alex is just a very flirty guy. Maybe it’s just an American thing. I haven’t been friends with an American before-”

“Henry”

“- and he was drunk and I kissed him and he probably thinks I took advantage. At the very least, I ran away like a scared twelve-year-old.”

“Let’s try to take a non-judgemental stance here,” suggests Shannon gently. “And for now, let’s just imagine a hypothetical. What if you were right all along, and he really does like you? That’s very much possible, so let’s explore what that would mean, yeah?

Henry shrugs noncommittally.

“You mentioned a couple of weeks ago that you think that if you two get too close you’ll be doomed,” she continues. “Do you still think that?”

“Well, yeah,” replies Henry, looking at his hands. “If he likes me -which I’m not sure he does anymore- then inevitably he’ll get sick of me. I like him so, so much, you know? He might be attracted to me, but he can’t possibly like me the way I like him. And even if by some horrible miracle he does like me back, then what? I’m a bloody prince and he’s an aspiring politician, and there’s no way it wouldn’t end in disaster. The whole world would be looking at us. I’m just… I’m…”

“You’re afraid of getting hurt.”

“I… I guess. Yeah. I feel like I’m about to fall off a cliff, holding onto the unstable rocks, and I have no idea where I’ll land.” Henry chuckled a little at his cliche metaphor. “He must think I’m a complete tosser.”

“Henry,” she gives him that Therapist Look. “You can’t read minds. Journal on that topic this week?”

Henry sighs and nods, letting that sink in. She has said it before, numerous times, and Henry never quite believes her.

They sit in silence before Shannon redirects the conversation.

"When are you meeting Alex again?"

That's an easy question, Henry has known the answer ever since he left D.C. He answers immediately, "Oh never."

"Henry," Shannon reprimands.

"No, you don't get it. I'm going to be murdered if I so much as go within 10 feet near Alex."

"No.” She’s holding back a laugh as she tries to look stern. “The answer is that you're going to the state dinner and you're going to talk to Alex like a mature adult and listen to what he says instead of guessing what he’s thinking. Meanwhile, I want you to think about what we discussed today and tell me next week what you might want to say to him."

"Hour's up then?" Henry asks, because he suddenly can't wait to get out of Shannon’s office. He needs time to think about everything. Or maybe he needs time to avoid thinking about anything.

"We have five more minutes, but if you don't have anything to add today, we can end early." Shannon smiles warmly at him and he knows that if he wishes to continue she wouldn’t mind, but right now he can't. Enough talking of emotions for one eternity, thank you.

So he leaves and as he hurries to the car he texts Shaan: SOS I need about a million boxes of Jaffa Cakes from the nearest corner shop.

Then, sliding into the back seat: Please.

…

The weeks pass by quickly with Henry trying his best to ignore Alex's texts and trying to convince everyone that he oughtn’t to go to the state dinner in D.C. No one listens to him, not Shannon or even Pez. Not even his own sister, rather Bea tries to make him see reason as to why he should go.

It's all 'you never know,’ 'just trust me, Hen' and other bits of vague encouragement. Predictably, Bea decides to drop Henry off at the airport herself so he can't escape at the last minute. When he accuses her of this, however, she’s all 'Can’t a girl escort her dear younger brother to the airport, or what?’

As they leave Kensington palace she explicitly instructs his PPOs that Henry should at all costs stay in America for the allotted time and should not be allowed back even a minute too soon. Shaan, for some reason, seems extremely happy to hear those instructions and can't stop smiling. Henry scowls at him whenever he sees him, thinking that he is Henry's personal equerry. It’s a lot.

"Do I really have to, Bea?" he asks her as they near the airport.

"Henry, you know this is important and by that, I do not mean the state dinner. That can go fuck itself for all I care, but you need to talk to Alex. Hiding from him like this is doing no one any good. Talk to him, see what he says and do not overthink this, Hen please." Bea squeezes his hand lightly as the car stops.

They walk silently side by side to the plane where Bea hugs him and sees him off.

As the plane starts to take off, the panic that had been sedated by her hug starts to grow again, fiercer than ever. Henry keeps repeating the same phrase throughout the flight.

Don't overthink this. It's going to be okay.

#Henry has no clue #The Whole Bloody Time #Henry Knew sequel #The Aftermath #pawprints.on.the.moon #slytherinnbitch #first prince #rwrb #fanfic #henry pov fanfiction #ao3 update #read on ao3 #rwrb ao3 feed

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hms-chill · 4 years

Text

Sanctuary

Summary: In a quiet moment, Henry and Bea reflect on her addiction, its lasting effects, and the night he found her outside a London club. Lots of tears, hugs, and those good sibling vibes, complete with the reassurance that they've always got each other's backs.

Trigger warnings for references of past drug use/abuse

Henry loves days like this. He and Bea haven’t had enough time together recently, but today, their outdoor event has been tragically rained out, so they’ve sequestered themselves in the music room. Henry’s brought a book of Byron, and he’s already planning to read especially good bits aloud. Bea’s got a cross-stitch project, since, in her own words, she ‘felt stabby’. His legs are draped across her lap, and she’ll occasionally rub his knee, humming at a particularly good line. He’s just finished reading a bit as he looks up to watch her tie off a thread, then she looks around and sighs.

“Fuck, I left my threader in the other room. If you move your legs, I can—“

“Let me,” Henry says, and she smiles. She passes over the needle and thread, wiggling her fingers a bit to stretch them. It takes him a bit, his eyes crossing as he focuses on it. When it’s threaded, he hands it over with a smile and looks back to his book. Bea turns to her project again with a “thank you”, and Henry reads out a couplet before he looks up to watch her hands. She seems alright, at least as far as he can tell.

He’s sort of generally known that the cocaine affected her fine motor skills. Before she got help, they didn’t see much of each other, but once, they’d been forced to go to the same banquet. She’d come to find him as they were getting ready, and he’d been so happy to see her that he almost didn’t notice the way her eyes didn’t quite focus or the fact that she barely said hello as she stepped into his room. He’d thought maybe she was there to talk, to finally admit she needed something, anything, but instead, she’d just pulled off a cardigan and asked him to zip her up. He remembers standing there, trying to process the way her spine stood out, as she fumbled along the back of the dress. He distinctly remembers thinking that she should have been fine. He’d watched her hand find the zipper pull, but she couldn’t seem to hold it.

He’d zipped her up, and helped her put the cardigan back on, and she’d left. At the banquet that night, she’d been wearing too much clumsy eye makeup, and she might have dropped a fork before she snuck out early, leaving Henry to pretend he didn’t know what she was doing. Philip had come home the next day, and he’s not sure how much she remembers of that particular night. She’d gotten most of her fine motor skills back with therapy, and Henry’d sort of assumed that was the end of it. But suddenly, he wonders if it really was.

He’d known she bought a packet of needle threaders a few weeks after she got home from rehab. She’s used post-it tabs to help her turn pages in speeches recently. A few days ago, she’d been filling a teabag and had spilled, scattering leaves across the counter.

“Bea?” He asks after a minute, and she hums, still focused on her cross stitch. Henry’s pretty sure it’s going to say ‘fuck’, which makes him smile. “Do... if you don’t want to talk about it that’s okay, but do you still... I know you keep your sobriety chip handy and don’t drink so you don’t... and I know you’ve joked about it, but do you ever want to...”

“I do.” She’s still focused on the cloth in front of her, but her hands are still. “I... I mean, I don’t want to use, not... but it’s always sort of there. Maybe not always, not times like this. But when things get stressful, or when we’re in a club sometimes. When it would be easy, it would seem like an easy way out, to just... have everything stop for a while. But I’m fine; you don’t have to worry.”

Henry watches her face as he asks his next question, trying to judge from the set of her mouth if he’s getting too close. They have the same tells; their mouths pinch in the same place when they’re uncomfortable. Looking back at their dad’s work, they probably both got it from him. “Do... we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, but are there other side effects that still bother you? I looked them all up when you went to rehab, but I don’t think we ever talked about them.”

She’s still for a moment, then she sets down her hoop, one hand coming to hold Henry’s tightly. Henry just holds onto her and waits, watching her cycle through barely-noticeable stages of uncertainty before she says, “It’s... I still get the cravings. And it... I mean internally, I’m all fucked up. My heart, my gut, it... it’s all a mess in there. But other than that, I’m alright.”

“You’re sure? I just... I want to be able to help you. If I can. I don’t know, but if there’s anything like that I can do, I want to.”

Bea moves her project aside and pulls him into a hug. His arms wrap around her automatically, even as he wishes he could still see her face. He’s not sure how she’s feeling; not sure if she’s being honest or just trying to get him to relax when she says, “You don’t need to worry about me, Hen. I’m just fine.”

“I’ll... I think I’ll sort of always worry about you,” he tells her shoulder. Her hold tightens on him, but he forges on before he can let himself think that maybe he’s making her feel guilty. Maybe he should lie to her just to make sure she doesn’t feel bad for talking to him about any of this. Maybe lying would make her feel better, but they’ve promised not to lie to each other or shut each other out, not anymore. If he tells her he’s not worried, it’ll be the first step down a path he doesn’t want anything to do with, so he forges ahead. “But I’m serious; if you want to tell me, maybe I can help somehow.”

She’s quiet for a bit, petting his hair as the rain taps against the window behind them. Henry's suddenly glad they're having this conversation here, rather than in any of the big, impersonal rooms in their suite. Eventually, she says, “I... I can’t always... delayed gratification is hard. It... for so long, I’d just... I’d want to feel better and I would. Just like that. And it didn’t really matter for a while, but now that I’ve got the charity, and there are so many choices and things there that take time, and it... do you think maybe we could find something you could do there?”

“I’m sure we can find something. Maybe I can... I don’t know; we could talk through some of the more long-term decisions? And I could help you think through things a bit? Not make them for you, but just... help lay things out?”

“I’d like that,” Bea says. She lets him go, but she doesn’t pick up her embroidery hoop again. Henry watches her carefully as she rests both hands on his legs, which are still draped across her lap. After a long minute, she doesn’t look up at him, but she says, “If... you don’t have to, but if I’m completely honest, I don’t... that night you came and found me, I... I don’t think I remember everything. I remember... I remember leaving rehab, thinking that if Philip and Gran were upset then I must have been doing something right. And I remember getting into the club, but after... after I started smoking it’s... it’s all sort of hazy until you were crying. I remember you being upset, and afraid; I think that’s sort of what shook me out of it. You were afraid, and you’d said you were gay. But it’s... before that, it’s a bit of a haze.”

“Oh. Well, I... I don’t know all of it, obviously, but I can... I’ll tell you what I know?” Bea nods, still not really looking at him. She’s chewing her lip, and she’s going to hurt herself, but this isn’t a moment for him to tell her how to cope. “I... we found out when you left rehab; they called us here. Philip was... upset, so I... I was up here when you called me, mostly to be away from him. It was loud; I couldn’t hear much, but you... you were crying. So I got your phone’s location, and I... this is probably stupid, but I think I just went. It’s… It’s all sort of just a haze of worry from there; I was so scared you’d change your mind and wouldn’t let me help. I remember talking to you, trying to tell you to go outside so I could hear you, and a few minutes after you did the call just… dropped. I think your phone died or something, but I was so scared I’d done something wrong I couldn’t focus on much else. I know Shaan was with me; someone else drove and I can’t imagine I’d have asked anyone else.” He goes quiet for a bit, trying to figure out how much of the next bit she needs to know.

Does she need to know that when she saw him, round the corner and come into the alleyway at the back of the club, she’d struggled to get up to meet him? Does she need to know how sharp her ribs felt when he hugged her, or how her shoulder stabbed into his when they sat back down and she leaned against him? Should he tell her that she’d still been smoking, and he has a tiny scar on his wrist from where he’d been burned as he took the drugs away from her?

“I, um, I... found you,” he says eventually. “You were... you were in a sort of alleyway behind the club, sitting on the steps. And I... I sat beside you, and I just cried. I don’t... I’m not sure I’d cried since the funeral, but I was so scared. I didn’t know what was going to happen, to you or me or any of us. You were talking about how Philip and Gran were conspiring against you, trying to lock you away in a hospital when you didn’t need any help. I just... I don’t remember what I said, not exactly. Something about how you weren’t eating and you weren’t talking to me. I... I used to text you every day.” He’s getting choked up, his eyes fixating on where Bea’s hands rest on his legs. “I used to text you from school every day, and you never answered. So I think... I think I told you that, about how hard I’d been trying. And that didn’t work, at least not really; you were quiet but it wasn’t... you weren’t there. I don’t know how to describe it, but I knew it... that’s when I told you I was gay. I made you look at me, and I made you promise not to tell anyone, and then I said you couldn’t die because I was gay and you were all I had left.

“After that, it... I think you cried, too. You said you weren’t going to leave me, and you hugged me.” He remembers that hug as much as anything; remembers how fragile Bea felt in his arms, how she’d been shaking but had hugged him tightly anyway. “We got you into the car, and Shaan must have driven us home. I just remember holding onto you; I was... I was so scared you were going to make a break for it. We tried to sneak in, but you... you weren’t the steadiest on your feet.”

“I knocked over a... a painting, right? Knocked it off a wall? The frame broke; there’s a scar on my shin from where a piece hit me when it fell.”

“It was so loud,” Henry says, finally looking at her with a wry smile. “But it... it felt like we were kids again. We had our shoes off, and we got up here as fast as we could. You... we both fell asleep in here that night. It was the only place I could think of that felt… I don’t know, safe somehow.”

“I didn’t want to be alone,” Bea says, nodding. “I... I thought if I didn’t have you to remind me, I might try and sneak out again. You made me take the couch, and then you slept on the floor next to me so I couldn’t get out without waking you.”

Henry nods, not sure what else to say for a moment. Eventually, he says, “You texted me from rehab the next day. I don’t... you weren’t supposed to have a phone, so I don’t know how you did it, but I got it while I was on my way back to school and it made me so happy I cried.”

“I think I might have bribed a nurse. Her kid really loved princesses, and I might have pulled some strings. It’s all a bit hazy,” she says with a wink, and Henry laughs, hugging her again.

“Thank you,” she says quietly. “I... I don’t think I could have done it without you.”

“And I couldn’t have done any of the rest of it without you.”

On AO3

You ever just have a lot of feelings about Bea? And about how she very well could have lost the fine motor skills necessary to play the guitar? And then you get really emotional about it? Me neither

Want to support the Hannah Makes Art fund? You can tip me in ko-fi here!

#rwrb fanfic #rwrb #henry fox mountchristen windsor #bea fox mountchristen windsor #red white and royal blue fanfic #red white and royal blue #my fic: rwrb

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bibliothesoph · 4 years

Text

anamnesis

There’s a lake.

The water is so light that it looks like the sky on a clear day––the sun reflecting off its surface in perfect, beautiful, golden lines. It’s truly a gorgeous thing to look at, but a problem if you get closer. Everyone knows about the lake––it’s been here since the dawn of time. Lining the lake are rocks––small and smooth. You can pick them up in your hand, turn them over a few times if you’d like. For most people, it’s a fun excursion. They go to the lake and look at the rocks or, more specifically, the writing on them. Because this lake––this gorgeous lake––is where people go to forget. They write something down on a rock––something truly horrible; the worst thing they’ve endured––and they throw it beneath the glistening surface. The lake swallows the memory whole, taking it down to the sandy bottom and letting it sit there for a while. When you wake up the next morning, you’ve completely forgotten both going to the lake and the memory attached to the rock you threw.

And that’s just how it goes.

Henry’s never been to the lake, but he’s going for the first time with Bea and Pez to look at other people’s memories––to see what they’ve wanted to forget. Some of them are quite silly, he thinks, because they seem so easy to live with. One of them is some night someone got drunk and tried to hit on a police officer. Laughable, really. Some of them are much darker, though. Things of nightmares.

They sit on the rocky shore and pass a few interesting ones between them, laughing or frowning given the writing upon them.

“Some of these are ridiculous,” Henry sighs, passing one to Bea. It’s something about eating five Big Macs in a row and throwing up on their date.

Bea looks at the rock and giggles. “Well, I don’t know. How brilliant would it be if we could forget each embarrassing moment or decision?” She frowns and grows silent for a moment before setting the rock down and taking Henry’s hand in her own. “I know there’s a lot I’d like to forget.”

He nods in understanding and squeezes her hand. “I think all the bad things help us grow, don’t you? All these stupid, trivial embarrassments help us from making the same bad choices over and over again.”

Pez nods in agreement as Henry, with his free hand, rummages around for the next rock. He picks it up in his hand and turns it over to read the writing, but…

His breath hitches in his throat. It’s his handwriting. It’s very clearly his handwriting.

“What is it, Hen?” Pez asks, cocking his head to the side to try to see what Henry’s holding.

Henry closes his eyes and closes his hand around the stone, trying to recall what would have made him write this down. He can’t recall this, obviously, since he’s very clearly the one who wrote it and threw it in here. That’s the whole point.

“It’s mine,” he whispers, opening his eyes. He looks down at it again, truly puzzled. “I don’t––I don’t understand.”

Bea frowns and holds out her hand. He places the stone into her palm, holding his breath as she reads it. Her eyes grow wide as she takes it in. “Henry––”

“Did you know? Surely you knew,” Henry says, taking the stone back. It feels wrong to let her hold it for some reason. And he knows that he can’t get the memories back by simply holding the stone in his hand––that’s not how it works––but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t at least try.

“I wondered why you stopped talking about him,” Pez says.

Henry looks over at him. “What? And you didn’t think that maybe I had been a proper idiot, come here, and just got my memories of him erased? You thought I just––“ he takes a deep breath. “Sorry, that’s not fair of me. It’s––why did I write this? What does it matter?”

Bea and Pez look to each other for a moment, obviously wondering if they should tell him what they know.

“Come off it,” Henry says, “if I don’t like what I hear, I can just do it again. It obviously worked the first time.”

Bea sighs and wraps her arms around him, holding him close and running her fingers through his hair. “I don’t know why you did it,” she tells him. “But I know that it’s true. It was true for years.”

He takes in a shaky breath and wills his mind to simply recall the memories––to access them from the deepest parts of himself that he’s apparently locked away. It doesn’t work. “It’s probably because he hates me,” Henry says, knowing that it’s true. “And maybe I…maybe I couldn’t live with it knowing that?”

Pez comes round his other side and holds him, too. “That’s not it,” he says softly. “I think it’s because he loved you.”

Henry bolts upright and away from both of them, getting to his feet and looking down at them with wide eyes and an open mouth. “What? You––he––I don’t understand.”

“You were…well, dating isn’t quite the right word for it, but you were something,” Bea explains. “Then you went away to his lake house for the weekend, came back, and never spoke of him again. Not in the same way, at least.”

He looks down at the stone again, at the words he apparently wrote in hopes to forget. The memory that was so painful for him that he threw it into the lake because it would make him forget it entirely.

Loving Alexander Claremont-Diaz.

“How old was I?” he whispers. “When I wrote this? When I went to his lake house?”

“It was two years ago,” Pez tells him.

Henry closes his eyes and tries to remember two years ago––tries to recall any sort of information that could be helpful. “The cake,” he says. “We had that fake friendship that lasted about a year before the world moved on.”

Bea shakes her head. There are tears in her eyes now, though Henry isn’t quite sure why. “It was more than that. So much more. You two were––you were happy, Henry. Happier than I’d ever seen you.”

He can’t process this. The words don’t quite make sense to him. If he loved Alex and Alex loved him back, why would he want to forget? Love has been something he’s yearned for his entire life––something he’s desperately sought out. If he finally had it within his grasp, why would he come here? What was so bad about Alex that made him want to forget? It doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t seem right.

He recalls, vaguely, a stream of peculiar texts from Alex from roughly two years ago. They hadn’t made sense to him then which was why he had told Alex to stop texting him. They were cruel things––things about Henry ignoring him and running away, but he hadn’t understood what Alex was talking about. Truthfully, he thought Alex had the wrong number.

“Why did I leave the lake house?” he asks, desperate for answers. There are tears in his eyes but they’re tears of grief for something he doesn’t even recall losing in the first place.

“I don’t know, darling,” Pez tells him. “He’s the only one that knows.”

Henry thinks about it for a moment before he sticks his chin out and slides the rock into his pocket. “Right. Well, we’re leaving.”

The other two get up in protest. “Henry, if you’re that upset––”

“I need to go,” he says, certain. “I need to go find him and ask him. Where does he live these days? Do you know?”

“New York, I think,” Bea says.

So that’s where Henry goes. Shaan is surprised that he’s making the request, but he complies and looks a bit too smug about it for Henry’s liking. For the entire plane ride, Henry fidgets with the rock, turning it over in his hands. He’ll get answers––he has to. It feels like something he should remember despite the lake, like his brain should still somehow retain the memory of Alex’s skin against his own or the way he felt about him. It’s maddening to know that he had all of these feelings but doesn’t remember a single one of them. If he tries to remember things, it leaves his mind aching and burning like he’s setting his brain on fire or something.

The plane ride feels like it takes years, not hours. As does the car ride when they touch down. Henry is motionless, save for the repetitive turning of the stone in his hand.

When they arrive outside of an apartment building, Henry practically sprints out of the car. It’s raining but he can’t bring himself to care much because each step he takes brings him one step closer to the truth. There’s an intercom system with a bunch of names and numbers, so Henry quickly scans the list until he finds the only one he cares about. He hits the button once and waits, hoping that Alex is home. It’s the evening, now, and the sky is dark above him. Alex should be home, right? If memory serves––well, he knows it bloody well doesn’t, apparently––Alex is a great student and would probably be using this seemingly random Tuesday night to study. He’s a law student now, Henry thinks. Maybe. He hasn’t really paid him much attention.

“Who is it?” Alex asks over the small, static speaker.

Henry releases a breath he doesn’t remember holding. “It’s––it’s Henry. Er, the Prince of Wales?”

He hears Alex groan and it makes him cringe. If he’s come all this way and Alex won’t let him up, Henry doesn’t know what he’ll do with himself. “Why are you here?”

“I––I want to talk,” he explains. “It’s important, I swear.”

There’s a beat of silence where, presumably, Alex is deciding whether to let him in or not. Like a nervous child, Henry finds himself bouncing on his toes anxiously as he waits for Alex to respond. He doesn’t even get a response, though. There’s just the alarming, dreadful tone of Alex unlocking the door.

The entryway of the building is small and cramped. One wall is lined with mailboxes, another housing the lift, and the other having both a stairwell and a door. The list outside said that Alex was in apartment 204, so Henry decides that the stairs will get him there faster than the seemingly old lift. He takes them two at a time which is probably the most un-princely thing he’s ever done in his entire life. By the time he gets to the second floor, he’s pink-faced and more nervous than he’s ever been before. He quickly finds the door marked 204 and takes a deep breath before knocking.

It takes Alex a moment to come to it, but Henry hears him begrudgingly slide the chain off and unlock the deadbolt. Then the door opens and Alex is standing in front of him.

His hair is a mess of unkempt curls on his head and he’s wearing an NYU sweatshirt and sweatpants, obviously working on something. Henry can’t help but note the glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose, too. He had no idea Alex wore glasses. Above all, Henry notes the bags under his eyes and the creases on his forehead. He looks positively exhausted.

Alex must note him staring because he rolls his eyes and steps back, letting Henry into his apartment. Henry steps in but doesn’t say anything because he has no idea where to even begin. His hand slips into his pocket, fidgeting with the stone again as he takes in the apartment. It’s small but very comfortable and lived-in with a big couch and a plethora of books and binders scattered around. There’s an impressive collection of plates and mugs by the sink and a few more on the coffee table by the sealed-off fireplace and the television mounted on top of it.

“Are you just gonna be silent or do you have something to say?” Alex asks him.

Henry just looks at him, trying to piece this all together in his mind. He’s coming up short, of course. Alex is beautiful, but he’s also extremely rude. Maybe that’s why Henry broke it off with him?

“Can I get you a glass of water or something, Your Highness?” Alex asks, moving over to the kitchen area.

“You don’t have to ca––”

“Call you that?” Alex chuckles to himself, shaking his head as he pulls out two glasses. “Yeah, I know.”

Henry frowns and sits down on the sofa, waiting for Alex to come back. When he does, he sets a glass of water down in front of Henry but his own drink is dark and golden. Whiskey, Henry thinks.

“Do I not get an alcoholic beverage?” he asks with a raised eyebrow as he takes a sip of the water.

Alex sits down in the armchair across from him and shakes his head. “I actually need it. Seriously, Henry, what is this? It’s been two years of literally no word from you and now you show up in New York out of the blue? I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought you were the Prince of, ya know, England. Why are you here?”

Henry sets down his glass as he tries to find the right way to go about this. Is there a right way to go about this? Henry would really love a manual or instructions or something. “I––can I ask you something?”

Alex laughs but it seems like it’s mostly to himself. “I mean, why not? You came all this way––it’s the least I could do for a Prince.”

Henry shakes off the sarcasm and tries to collect his thoughts. “Could you tell me, er, about the lake house?”

The words make Alex freeze. He swallows––Henry can see the movement in his throat. “What about it?”

Henry’s been in the spotlight long enough to know when someone is trying to hide the emotion in their voice, and that’s exactly what Alex is doing right now. “What happened? From your perspective, I mean.”

Alex takes a deep breath and moves the glass in his hands, obviously not enjoying this conversation. “You remember,” he whispers. “You were there.”

Henry bites his lip, trying not to show that no, in fact, he doesn’t remember it at all. “I’d just like to hear it from you. Your side of things, I suppose.”

It looks like Alex thinks about it for a moment before he sets his glass down and his jaw tenses. Oh, he’s obviously very angry with Henry about it. That much is clear. “I took you there––I took you to my most special place. You met my fucking dad. We drank, we had sex, we had fun. I thought––I wanted to…fuck, Henry, don’t make me say this. Why are you doing this? Is this the final twist of the knife or something?”

There are tears gathering in Alex’s eyes––Henry can see them. He watches helplessly as Alex stands and moves over by one of the windows, looking out at the city. The lights from outside only illuminate the tears now running down his cheeks. The sight of it makes Henry want to cry, too, for some reason he doesn’t understand.

“I’m not trying to hurt you,” Henry tells him truthfully. “I just want to understand.”

Alex laughs and removes his glasses to wipe at his face. “You’re the one that left, Henry. You’re the one who just––and I never heard from you again. You just ignored me after. Actually, no. You didn’t even ignore me. You pretended like you had no idea what I was fucking talking about. And that––it hurt. It hurt so fucking much.”

“I didn’t pretend,” Henry says in a whisper so quiet he isn’t even sure if Alex hears him.

Alex does, though. The admission pisses him off. “Yeah you did!” he argues, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. “I texted you and you acted like I had the wrong fucking number or something.”

“Alex, I honestly wasn’t pretending. I––I went to the lake, all right?”

Alex rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I fucking know. It was my lake house.”

Henry gets up and pulls the stone out of his pocket, holding it out in his palm for Alex to see. “No. I went to the lake. And I––I wrote this and threw it in. You know what happens when you do that, don’t you?”

Alex takes the stone from his hand and stares at it for a moment before scoffing and giving it back to Henry. “You’re fucking ridiculous.”

“It’s true!”

“I don’t doubt that it’s true,” Alex yells, more tears falling. He sits on the windowsill and looks up at Henry. “It’s––how could you? After everything we had been through together, how could you just do that?”

Henry shrugs and sits down next to him. Their shoulders touch. “I don’t know, Alex. I really don’t. I can’t recall a bloody thing about you beyond our fake friendship. It’s driving me mad––has been since I found this.”

“When’d you find it?”

“A few hours ago. I got on a plane as soon as I did.”

That makes Alex laugh a bit which feels like a win. He doesn’t say anything else, though.

Henry nudges him with his shoulder. “I feel like your deep in thought. Would you like to talk about it?”

“It’s just––I know you, Henry. And even if you knew what I was going to say that night, you wouldn’t do this. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met, you know? It doesn’t make sense that you would just forget me as soon as it got too real for you to deal with.”

“I wish there was something I could say to make it better or to get my memory back so I could know what I was thinking,” Henry admits. “But there isn’t a way, not that I know of, anyway. I’d like to think I know myself, but even I don’t understand why I’d do something like this. Perhaps I was scared of it. Unrequited love is always hard.”

“It wasn’t unrequited,” Alex whispers.

Henry looks over at him, gobsmacked. “What?”

“It wasn’t fucking unrequited. That’s what I wanted to tell you that night. It was on the tip of my tongue and then you…”

“Then I left,” Henry says, recalling Alex mentioning it.

“Yeah. Then you fucking left.”

They’re silent for a moment. Alex leans his head back against the window and Henry watches him, studying his features for a moment.

“How do you feel now?”

“Like you’re a fucking asshole,” Alex huffs.

“Right.”

Alex shakes his head. “But also like I’ve missed you. Even if you haven’t missed me.”

The thought of someone missing him makes Henry smile. Maybe that’s selfish of him, especially considering he hasn’t missed Alex, but he can’t help it. “Do you still love me?”

Alex’s eyes widen. “Jesus fucking Christ, H. What kind of question is that?”

Henry maneuvers himself so he’s facing him, though that means he’s barely on the windowsill now. “Please just answer it.”

Alex sighs. “Yeah, okay? I still fucking love you.”

“Good,” Henry whispers, moving a bit closer.

Alex meets his eyes then looks to his lips. “Why?”

“Because then you’re less inclined to be mad at me for this.”

Before Alex even has the chance to reply, Henry closes the distance between them. Alex instantly melts into the kiss like he’s been waiting over two years for Henry to get his shit together and do this. Which, Henry realizes, he has. And the kiss is so good––Alex’s lips are soft and perfect and his hands are already moving on Henry’s body to pull him impossibly closer. It’s so good, in fact, that Henry isn’t expecting what comes next.

It feels like his brain is being stabbed with thousands of needles all at once. He pulls back and holds his head in his hands as he cries out, trying to figure out what’s going on. All at once, thousands of images and moments flood his mind. There are clips of Alex smiling, of Alex kissing him, of Alex’s mouth around Henry’s cock. It all comes racing back into his brain in a whirlwind that leaves Henry breathless and, somehow, on the floor. When he opens his eyes, Alex’s confused eyes are staring back at him.

In those glasses that he loves.

“I remember,” Henry tells him.

“Remember what?”

Henry smiles and pulls him closer, resting their foreheads together. “Everything.”

Alex lets out a sob and wraps his arms around Henry, burying his head in the crook of Henry’s neck as they defamiliarize themselves with each other. And he knows that he has two years to make up for, but somehow he thinks that everything will be okay because, against all odds, he has Alex back in his arms. And he’s never letting him go or forgetting about him again.

There’s a lake.

The water is so light that it looks like the sky on a clear day––the sun reflecting off its surface in perfect, beautiful, golden lines. It’s truly a gorgeous thing to look at, but a problem if you get closer. Everyone knows about the lake––it’s been here since the dawn of time. Lining the lake are rocks––small and smooth. You can pick them up in your hand, turn them over a few times if you’d like. This lake––this gorgeous lake––is where people go to forget. They write something down on a rock––something truly horrible; the worst thing they’ve endured––and they throw it beneath the glistening surface. The lake swallows the memory whole, taking it down to the sandy bottom and letting it sit there for a while. When you wake up the next morning, you’ve completely forgotten both going to the lake and the memory attached to the rock you threw. But the lake has bee here since the dawn of time. It knows that some memories are too important to be forgotten. So it gives them back to you when you’re ready.

And that’s just how it goes.

#rwrb #red white royal blue #RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE #prince henry of wales #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #fan fic #one shot #six sentence sunday my ass here's a whole fic

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saltfics · 4 years

Note

“You’re panicking?! I’m the one who got fucking *insert injury*!”

Blood, Gore & Injury Sentence Starters Thanks for the ask @bibliothesoph !! I made an Ao3 work for this and future sentence prompts here! But the whole fic is posted under the keep reading as well!

If you want to go really hard on the appreciation, you can tip your fellow writer here. Hope you enjoy!!

Having famous last words is one way to go down in history. It’s not even just the profound ones that get all the credit. Sometimes, the ones remembered are those that were so cocky and topped with just the right amount of irony to be rendered iconic. Alex has never forgotten John Sedgwick since he learned about him, not because of his great work as a military officer, but because he had the gall to say ‘they couldn’t shoot an elephant from that distance’. And then they did.

Alex thinks he has a high chance of going down the same way. In fact, his last words might turn out to be, I can run that fast.

The light for the pedestrians switches from green to red just as he steps on the crossing, but the cars are still far away. Henry’s waiting for him outside the university library, and Alex is already twenty minutes late. I can run that fast, he thinks and dashes instead of stepping back. He doesn’t notice the car that’s mid-turn, a turn that’s far closer thanwhat he based his calculations on. I can run that fast.

Famous last words.

There’s a precise moment when he realizes he’s completely fucked up, and he wastes one whole sixteenth of a second hoping it’s not the last time he ever gets to fuck up like that. He’s in the middle of the street, too far in to back away, too far away to make it to the other side. It’s a two-car lane. If he takes a step back, there’s something coming his way. If he takes a step forward, there’s another car coming his way. If he stays there … Fucking fuckity fuck.

If he dies, Henry’s going to murder him.

Metal connects to his side and all that crap about your life flashing before your eyes? It’s still crap, but later he’ll swear time does slow down for him to think. Or his mind goes into overdrive. Same difference. He feels the first slam and he thinks, hey that wasn’t that bad. He can’t see around him, can’t register his surroundings but he still manages one single, impossible thought in the middle of disaster: Brace yourself. You still have to land.

And maybe that’s why when he does fall on the asphalt, a good two feet away from where the car hit the breaks, his hands are out to protect his face. When his vision returns, he’s on his hands and knees in the middle of the street, his palms stinging from the rough slap against the asphalt. His legs are spread behind him and his backpack is too heavy on his back, pulling him to the side.

Alex is breathing hard, trying to take mental stock of his body. He’s afraid to try moving his legs, but he’s still in the middle of the fucking road, one of the lanes paused because of his stupidity. Okay, okay, he has to move.

He searches his body for any extreme aches that should cause him to panic, but the adrenaline must still be pumping through him because he doesn’t feel any pain. Relief spikes through him for a second. He’s fine. He’s actually fine. Henry’s not going to kill him. June is not going to have his head.

Then he actually tries pushing himself to his feet. Shit, nope, he’s wrong. He’s very wrong. Fuck.

Pain strikes, angry and bright like lightning up his leg, the second he considers putting some weight on it. The effect on him is still blurred, his mind reeling too much to properly panic or wonder what that means.

He doesn’t register the people walking towards him until two sets of hands grab his arms, while a third pries his backpack from his shoulders to lessen his load. Together they guide him to the nearest sidewalk. Alex is sure he says something to them. Thank you, or sorry, or an endless stream of both mixed together into a string of mumbled nonsense.

“Dude, are you okay?” one of the guys supporting him says.

“You should have been more careful,” reprimands the lady who’s still holding his bag. “Why did you cross like that?”

They lower him down into a sitting position again now that he’s not obstructing traffic anymore, and Alex’s head is starting to return to him. A small crowd is gathered around him, talking to him, asking him if he needs anything, but mostly just looking on, curious and worried in equal measure. He looks around for his backpack again, just to make sure it’s nearby. His laptop, including his fresh 25-page paper is in there and he has his priorities straight, damn it.

He catches a glimpse of what he’s pretty certain is the car that slammed into him drive away as soon as the street is free again. Fucker.

“We should call an ambulance!”

“Should we drive you somewhere?”

“Is there anyone I can call for you, honey?”

That’s when his mind actually connects. “Oh, shit! Henry! Where’s my phone? I-I was holding it? Fuck, is it still on the street?” One of the guys who helped him pushes his phone into his hands. Alex is pretty sure he’s in his class. Shit, he needs to learn his name. Why is he such an ass with this stuff? “Thanks, man,” Alex offers him a guilty smile. “I’m—I’m good. I’m good, everyone! Thank you so much! I’ll just call my boyfriend to-to pick me up! It’s—”

“Alex?”

“Or he’ll find me first.”

The crowd parts as Henry pushes his way through, and soon starts to scatter. The lady hands his backpack to Henry as she leaves, and he accepts it, confused. Alex watches as Henry’s eyes roam over him, widening as he takes him in, sitting on the dirty sidewalk, his leg spread out carefully, his clothes rumpled. And he’s grateful there’s a lack of carnage on him, no blood or torn clothes, that he’s just mildly disheveled, because he can’t imagine putting Henry through that.

Well, he’s also grateful he didn’t die, but again, priorities.

“Alex, what happened?” Henry asks, crouching next to him. He pushes a tangled mess of curls away from his face, letting his hand rest on his cheek. “Why are you on the ground? Are you okay?”

Okay, shit, how does he tell his beautiful, barely calm boyfriend that he was stupid enough to get slammed by a car in one of the busiest streets in New York? “Uh, okay, don’t freak out.” Which is the wrong thing to say, and the fastest way to get Henry to do just that.

“What? Why? What’s wrong? Can you get up? Are you hurt?”

“Yes. And yes. Actually, I think. I don’t know.”

“Alex… what?”

Alex groans. His leg is still throbbing in a steady pulse, but that’s about it. Even his hands have stopped stinging. “Help me up? Please?”

Henry nods, still confused and Alex doesn’t want to exchange the confusion with whatever’s going to come next. He wonders how much he can play the injury off. He can say he tripped, and with his level of injuries it’ll probably be believable but he doesn’t want to lie to Henry. If it was the other way around…

Alex hisses the moment he’s on his feet. Henry fumbles to readjust his grip on his arms, squeezing a bit too tight as if Alex might break if he doesn’t hold on with all he has. “Shit, sorry. I, uh, okay. So, I had a little accident.”

“You—what kind of accident?” The color washes from Henry’s face as he pulls him closer, shifting his arms so one of them is around Alex’s back instead. “What happened?”

“I’m okay, I promise! I was just really stupid. And crossed the street too carelessly and well…” he shrugs, giving a vague gesture towards his left leg.

Henry looks back towards the street for a moment, and when he turns back to Alex he looks like he’s the one who got struck. “That street?” he asks, voice small. “Are you okay? Are you—Okay, we need to go to the hospital. I’ll call Shaan to come pick us up, do you want to sit down again? Does it hurt? I’m sorry, I—”

Alex places both palms on the side of Henry’s face, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. “Hey, hey. Look at me.”

Henry hesitates for a second. When those precious blue eyes turn to meet his own, hints of moisture linger in their corners. He’s much paler than he was when he arrived, and Alex wants so desperately to kiss some color back into those lips, watch a rosy pink dust his too cold cheeks.

“Baby…” he coos. “You’re panicking? I’m the one who got ironed. Breathe.”

Henry flinches, his face inching away from Alex’s hold. “Don’t use that word. That’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he chuckles. “Would it help if I went to the hospital with you?”

“Would it help? Of course, you’re going to the hospital! ‘Would it help’, he says.”

There’s no chance in hell Henry is going to take no for an answer, so Alex waits for him to call Shaan, lets him help him to the car without any protest. On the way there he gets three phone-calls, the level of exasperation increasing with each one. Apparently one of those kind passerbys was also kind enough to post a photo of him on the sidewalk on his Twitter. His dad calls first to make sure he’s okay. Then June, who upon learning the location of the accident just responds with ‘and you’re still alive?’, which is fair but also very rude, though when he complains to Henry about it, he’s sure he must be using all his patience not to glare at him for the nonchalance. He’s definitely glaring when Zahra calls and Alex just hands the phone over to him with the biggest, most pleading eyes he can muster.

Other than that, Henry stays quiet, eyes glued up ahead and staring at nothing. One of his hands is holding Alex’s own and he squeezes it every few minutes like he’s trying to make sure Alex is still there. It’s scaring him a little, but no matter how many times he insists he’s okay, that it barely even hurts, Henry doesn’t relax. He turns to him, gives him a small, tense little smile, then resumes looking at nothing ahead of him.

It’s fine. They’ll go to the hospital, they’ll get some tests done, and Henry will see he’s in perfect health. Then they’ll go home and cuddle until he forgets how much his leg hurts.

Unless he has some internal bleeding. That would be unfortunate.

The hospital visit passes faster than even he could have predicted. After describing his symptoms, Alex is quickly examined by an orthopedist and taken for x-rays to make sure nothing is broken. Everything comes out clear and in an astonishing show of competency, they’re out of there less than two hours later. Hell, the waiting room took twice as long as the tests themselves.

They stop for some painkillers on the way home, and he’s all set. He won’t even have to miss a class.

But Henry doesn’t perk up with the news. His breathing calms and he gets a hint of color to his cheeks as they drive home, but he’s still quiet. Withdrawn. It hurts more than the leg.

David rushes to greet them when they return, all little jumps and wagging tails. Alex feels a pinch of hurt when Henry grabs the puppy before he can jump on him. He doesn’t reprimand him, of course. Henry never yells at David, not even when he chews on pages of his work that he was foolish enough to leave out, but he’s too listless to play with him either, and it’s that apathy that finally breaks Alex’s heart.

“Henry? Baby, talk to me,” he pleads, leaning on his good leg with one hand against the nearest wall. “I’m fine, so what’s wrong?”

Henry doesn’t look at him. “I’m going to take him out for a bit. We won’t take long. Maybe I can bring food on my way back? What do you feel like having?”

“Henry.”

“Is there anything you need before I leave? Water? Tea? Do you want me to help you up the stairs? Maybe we should just fix up the couch for tonight…”

Alex sighs, limping over to where Henry is still looking away from him, bent over to secure the leash on David’s collar. He wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him upright. “Sweetheart…” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck, as he’s still turned the wrong way. “Please.”

It takes a lifetime to hear his voice. “You’re such an idiot,” Henry breathes, too shaky to hold any bite. He lets Alex turn him around and leans forward to press their foreheads together. “You’re such an arse.” He’s not crying, though he’s shaking, and Alex rubs some warmth up and down his arms, along his back. “Do you have any idea how lucky you got? That was a dangerous fucking street, Alex.”

It’s the lack of anger that truly does him in. Henry might be mad at him but it’s not enough to overpower the fear that’s been rooting within him for hours. “I’m sorry. I know. I’m so sorry.” Alex pulls back slightly to give him a soft smile. “Would it help if I said I was rushing because I was so desperate to see you?”

“Alex. ”

“Nope, I made it worse. Got it.” He presses a chaste kiss to his lips. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It was stupid, even for me. It won’t happen again, I promise. I’ll look both ways. Twice. I’ll fucking study physics to calculate the speed of cars versus my chance of running into them if I have to!” A smile trembles at Henry’s lips and Alex grins. “Watch me! Hey,” he says, softer now. He presses another kiss, this one to his cheek, smiling against him when Henry tilts his head towards the touch. “Anything to wipe that look off your face, and never have to see it again.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I worried you.”

“I know.”

David squeezes between their legs, pawing at Henry, nudging him with his nose.

Alex smiles. “It’s okay, buddy. I upset your daddy a little bit, but we’ll be fine. Right?”

Henry nods, bending down to scratch the top of David’s head, before heading for the door. “He doesn’t like it when I’m upset.”

“We have that in common.”

Henry makes sure to wrap him into the biggest hug before he leaves, even though he’s all kinds of dirty from lying on the road, and probably still smells like the hospital. Alex presses his face into the crook of his neck, breathes him in. Guilt churns in his stomach when he really stops to think about it, how stupid it was, how Henry must have felt. He squeezes a bit tighter before letting go.

And because he’s a total hypocrite, but he got himself too worked up not to, he calls out after him before he shuts the door.

“Hey, look both ways before you cross the road!”

Henry loves him, anyway.

#saltfics #rwrb #rwrb fic #red white and royal blue #first prince #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #slight whump!#calm before the storm honestly because i have 9 more of those coming and some of them are uh a pain train #enjoy #leave a comment and/or a reblog #they help more than you think!#Anonymous

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spiltscribbles · 4 years

Text

Quiet Things

Alex doesn’t get jealous.

It’s just not a thing that he does, has never thought it worth while. For a majority of his life he was too busy with school and Lacrosse and plotting out his eventual path to the presidency, to ever even fathom caring too terribly if the girl he was seeing was flirting with some other guy, or was being flirted with. Besides, it’s not his place to get all angry about it. If she liked him more than Alex, well he had no right to interfere in that, there’s something called free fucking will.

“Nah, ’S because you’re too obsessed with yourself,” Nora had told him three weeks after their first break up in that somewhat snide tone of voice that she can pull out as effortlessly as her future professor monotone.

“Slanderous,” Alex had sniffed before taking a huge ass bite out his burrito— thank God that Chipotle’s a national commodity now, which means they could stuff themselves silly before the second national debate .

“Accurate my friend,” Nora had retorted with a clucking of her tongue, stealing his side order of chips and queso while Alex was to busy glaring a hole through the glossy photograph of Prince Henry of Wales that’s the front cover of Vogue Italiano’s newest spread. “You’ll always love yourself most.”

“Well yeah babe, I’m the only one who could appreciate me in all the right ways.”

“The only one who can stand you for longer than an hour you mean?”

Alex had pouted, teasingly, and Nora had laughed, adoringly, and neither of them really took it to heart. It was a bit of a quirk, his self absorption that is. Nora and June had noted it fondly for an eon, it wasn’t some new revelation.

Though What was n entirely new revelation was how only a few short years later, Alex fell head first for the fucking pretentious— not actually pretentious— prince of Wales, realizing he was definitely bisexual all along, and being forcefully outted by the old fuck trying to oust his mother from the oval office before her destined eight years are up. All in that order.

God have times changed.

Alex supposes that it’s only right that amidst all of that, he also changed along the way, that he found a guy— a literal Prince amongst men— that makes his heart thud out an uneven staccato with every glance. Someone who makes it so Alex’s ADHD wired brain goes still, goes hyper focussed on him. On Henry’s pretty pale eyes and lovely thin lips and the way one corner of his mouth tugs upwards before the other every time he smiles. He found a guy who he chooses every day to spend his forever with, the first person that makes his knees go weak and the first person that Alex admits is probably his only match. Found the guy he loves more than any other— His person, the one he’d give up the world to be with. The guy who makes his analytical mind shut off in favor for the idea that in all probability soulmates can exist…? And if so, Henry’s more than probably his.

All this to say, Alex now gets it when June— his delightfully neurotic sister— starts asking him a thousand times over if she looks okay in whichever dress she’s got on after she sees an Instagram post with Pez, forever adventuring a new part of the world, tagging a different girl, or when Nora doesn’t realize she’s being flirted with at her new internship at the Brookings Institute by another grad student. “Just cause I fuck dudes now doesn’t mean I suddenly get what’s trendy~” “You’re fucking one dude and only one dude.” “I think you just proved my point?”)

Suddenly Alex wishes June were here, even in all her craziness, at least then he could have an honest analysis on what’s playing out right in front of him, in the middle of fucking douchebag Phillip’s birthday party. Just there, out in public, right next to the table holding up the thirty four thousand dollar cake. And oh! Look! The fucking gross ass prick just snuck a finger to lick off some of the frosting!

Desecrating stupidly expensive desserts is there thing damn it!

The aforementioned prick is all high cheekbones and long lashes and such big brown eyes. He’s Hassan Nair, “Call me Haz.” No Alex will fucking not, thank you very much.

The prick, as Alex will be referring to him here forth, is the son of some Dubai business magnate, worth probable billions and is so sickeningly pretty that Alex would feel bad if he wasn’t dating the literal prettiest man alive, he’s kinda accustomed with not being exactly the hottest guy in a room. But fucking prick boy must concede the point if the way he’s been gazing down at henry since this shindig has begun is anything to go by, and Jesus Christ, is it actually fair that he’s like half a foot taller than Alex too! No it’s not! None of this is fair!

Alright, okay. This is not cool. Alex should not be just lurking in the shadows like some sort of Twilight love interest, gazing hopelessly at Henry and letting this totally new and totally unwelcome feeling— a bit envious, a lot inferior, and just slightly worried— be eating him hole. He’s fucking Alex Claremont Diaz. He’s the son of the American President! He’s going to an amazing law school! He’s hot and smart and fun damn it. And Henry chose him! Henry chose him when he first plunged down to kiss him, this edge of frantic, the night of that New Year’s party. Henry chose him when they stood hand in hand facing the crowds with their chins tipped high and their love holding strong. Henry chose him when he bought that Brownstone in New York and adopted a dog with Alex’s name as the co owner.

Truly? Who is Hassan Nair in the face of all of that?

Alex watches him wink at Henry for the third time in the past five minutes and he sees red.

God damn it the prick does look like a One Direction stand-in, doesn’t he?

Fully intending to just find Beatrice and bitch about Hassan fucking Nair to her, Alex swigs down his Bellini, but stutters still when Henry pivots around, his ever alert eyes softening once catching on him.

Damn it, Alex is a weak, weak man.

“Lost you in the crowds?” Henry asks in greeting once Alex saddles up to them, slinging an arm around Henry’s waste in a way that Alex prays comes off nonchalant.

“Didn’t wanna just intrude,” Alex corrects, brow kinked playfully. “I’m not so gauche.”

Henry rolls his eyes heavenwards, but Alex knows he’s reluctantly charmed when that ghost of a smile passes across his lips.

“You once dragged me out from a conversation I was having with President Macron because you wanted to compete over who could catch the most bugs.”

“Hey! They were fireflies not just bugs you ass!” Alex charges, fully indignant now. “And you’re only pissy because my jar was like a thousand times brighter than yours!”

“You started for like a quarter of an hour longer,” Henry says airily, pale head tilted, imperious.

“Excuses don’t become you sweet cheeks.” Alex informs him, positively gleeful over the dusting of red that comes over his elegant features.

“Ahem,” the prick interrupts with a cough, eyes skewering Alex. “I don’t think we’ve met?”

“We have,” Alex corrects with a thin lipped smile. “At Phillip’s wedding— Erm ah before the incident.”

“I don’t recall,” the prick just shrugs, turning his full attention back to Henry, and yikes Alex has to give him props, he’s definitely mastered the cold dismissal thing down pat. “Henry we should grab lunch soon, it’s been ages since we’ve caught up.”

Did this guy just ask out Henry right in front of Alex? What the actual fuck?

“Of course,” Henry says in that blithe, detached sounding way he does whenever he’s trying to be polite and doesn’t know how to react. Fuck is Alex so happy he knows how to decipher his different moods. “But I reckon Alex and i best get going, we promised a friend that we’d meet them for dinner.”

The prick’s bright eyes dim and he just nods. “I’ll call you?”

“Sure,” Henry grabs for Alex’s hand and it’s the best fucking feeling in the world.

“Didn’t know we promised any such thing your highness?” Alex goads as they slip into the rental car, Amy and Shaan in a separate one tracking them back to the castle.

“I needed an excuse Alexander, and I never claimed to be above fibbing if it means I get to escape social situations,” Henry intones, lying back with his eyes shut. Sometimes Alex has to catch his breath when looking at him, sometimes forgets just how stunning he is.

With a swallow, Alex forces his eyes back on the road and wills himself to sound normal.

“He seemed nice?”

Henry’s lip quirks and fuck, apparently he’s just as easy to read.

“You hated him.”

“Did not.”

“Did so.”

“I did not!”

“Lying doesn’t become you sweet cheeks,” Henry parrots in a nasally voice that Alex refuses to call an imitation of him.

“He looks like a privileged prick,” Alex finally admits, feels his heart swell at the casual way Henry clamps a hand against his thigh, squeezing lightly.

“I reckon you thought the same of me not too long ago,” Henry prods.

“Oh I definitely still do babe,” Alex snorts, winces slightly when Henry moves to pinch his side instead. “Ouch.”

“You’re rude.”

“I love you,” Alex soothes, picks up Henry’s hand and kisses the tops of his fingers dotingly. “’s Why I was so annoyed by his flirting with you so blatantly.”

Henry stiffens slightly before relaxing, flickers his gaze to Alex’s profile meaningfully. “He was not flirting.”

Alex scoffs.

“He was literally undressing you with his eyes the entire night!”

“We’re old friends,” Henry says weakly, pillar going pale. And Alex suddenly remembers what Henry had told him over a year ago now. That his first time was with one of Philip’s old school friends when he was only seventeen. That they were both firmly in the closet and understood how to keep things quiet. That Henry appreciates it for what it was but was still so confused and terrified and lonely in the aftermath.

And oh, it makes sudden sense now.

He wonders what different sorts of expressions must be playing across his face at this moment because Henry’s just goes sad, presses closer to him.

“I think you’re my first love,” he says, and Alex can read the words that go unspoken that hug around the non sequitur.

“Me too,” he assures him.

Henry nods, soft and slow, before he presses a kiss to the hinge of Alex’s jaw, the corner of his mouth, lands on the hollow of his cheek. “From the first moment Alex Claremont Diaz,” he says in the same voice he had right before their first kiss. “I knew you were it, no matter how hopeless it seemed or how much you evidently hated me. I new you were it.”

It’s Alex’s turn to flush, tries tempting down his smile.

“Shut the fuck up you dork.”

“You’re so witty and quick and too smart for your own good,” Henry just continues on, adjusts himself so that he’s got a better look at him.

“So help me.”

“You are so beautiful and bright, like a supernova, you know that?”

“Henry I swear to God I will kick your princely ass out and make you walk.”

Henry shakes his head with a tsk, tsk. “Such pretty lips and such a dirty mouth.”

“Now you’re sounding like a porno,” Alex laughs.

“Shall I move onto complimenting your ass or would that be too explicit for your mild sensibilities?” Henry asks, mock owlish.

“I literally despise you,” Alex groans before pulling over on the side of the road and kissing him senseless.

He’s not sure how much time passes but is forced to move off him when Amy and Shaan begin beeping their horns in a crass cacophony of sound.

“Promise to help you with the tent downstairs once we get to bed,” Henry guffaws, and in turn Alex just repeats the fact that he utterly hates him with as much feeling as he could muster, goofy grin splitting his face in half all the while.

Two weeks later they see the prick at one of Beatrice’s charity luncheons, and Henry doesn’t take his hand out of Alex’s back pocket the entire afternoon.

It’s fucking fantastic.

#FIRSTPRINCE #Alex Claremont Diaz #Henry Fox Mountchristen Windsor #red white and royal blue #SPILT INK

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sdhanagare · 5 years

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Happy Birthday Amitji

Amitabh Bachchan completes 77 years and 50 years of entertaining us.

It was 1969 he made his debut. I was just 5 years old.

In 1970 we left for Brighton England for my Fathers doctorate, ( before which in 1969 a superstar came on the horizon in form of Rajesh Khanna

I remember the last movie we saw before leaving India was Aradhana).

We were in England for almost 4 years. So I missed the phenomena of Rajesh Khanna and the blooming of Amitabh Bachchan.

I remember the first movie I saw was Roti Kapada aur Makaan it was 1974 at Heer Palace Kanpur. I fell in love with the charismatic character of Vijay .

His journey from a unruly youth to the army where he looses his arm( my father used to tease me for many days as Dunda Haath Chalaaye Bandook ) was very well depicted by him under the direction of Manoj Kumar. The way he drives the motorcycle with the accelerator between his teeth. I was overwhelmed , His anger was so genuine.

The second movie I remember was Benaam. A suspense thriller and my admiration for him increased.

This was followed by reruns of Anand Namak Haraam and Abhimaan at our L7 auditorium at IIT Kanpur ( as they had been released when we were abroad )

I used to ask my parents to take me to see his releases.

Those were the days of advance booking and being away from the main city many times we could not get tickets to his movies..

We had to try thrice before we could see Deewar and Sholay both released in the year of emergency 1975.

Faraar, Chupke Chupke and Mili were the first movies I saw more than once in those days as a 11 year old. Thankfully for me my parents also were movie buffs. ( Obviously I could not go alone then but started doing so 4 years later )

Something which came to me genetically as my grandmother also was a movie fan. We used to see movies over the fortnight.

After almost 2and half months during my Diwali Vacation of 1975, we finally got tickets to Sholay at Sundar theatre. The movie then was ruthlessly edited with Asranis scenes as also Jayas Holi Scenes being cut . But that movie had a great impact on me, esp the character of Jai.

It was later in 1976 in its Golden Jubilee week I we saw Deewaar.

After Deewar I was totally smitten with Amitji, I used to tie a knot on my shirt like he did. Since then somehow or the other I saw every movie released.

In 1978 we shifted to Pune.

In Pune I realised that theatres were not so far as in Kanpur and I had a cycle.

In 1979 in 9th Standard I bunked school and went to see The Great Gambler ( which my parents would not allow as it was for Adults ). In Pune I understood the concept of Advance Booking, where bookings for a movie used to open on Monday and if one wished to see a film First day then that booking needed to be done.

In vacations we used to go my Dads Hometown of Washim ( then in Akola, now a district ) , there we had a theatre owned by a trust of which my grandfather was a trustee. Movies were free for us and seats were reserved for trustees.

Used to love going to the movies there but my memory brightens up when I remember that I saw Muqaddar Ka Sikander 4 times on the trot in 4 days, including once ( Interval to Interval ). Sholay I saw there 5 times in a week, this was thankfully the uncut version .

It is a well-known chapter of Indian film history beginning with the release of Prakash Mehras Zanjeer in 1973 which turned Amitabh into a goldmine.

This movie I finally got to see first on DD and in the theatre as late as 1980 during a re-run. Smouldering in the Salim-Javed dialogues and refracted through the Amitabh flamboyance fired the imagination of a whole nation as nothing had ever done before a trend which was carried ahead in Deewar, Sholay,Trishul, Don, Kaala Pathhar, Shaan, Shakti.

Movies then used to release phase wise first in Metros and a week or even later in other cities . Pune normally movies released a week later than Mumbai

And Lonawala used to come in the Mumbai circuit. I used to take a local to Lonawala to see Amitabhs movies. Once for Yaarana the tickets were not available in Black also , I took a ride at the back of a truck and went till Khopoli and saw the movie. Similarly Kaalia also I saw at Lonawala.

From Pune used to go for Summer Vacations to Mumbai and saw many movies there. Namak Halaal, Dostana, Desh Premee, Mahaan were all seen there.

Once I decided to go and visit his house, then Prateeksha. I had gone alone and after I reached just looked at the house in awe.

I always used to think if I could ever meet him, see him.

Thats a long story and long time ahead.

One incident I remember that in 1991, my father was travelling from Delhi to Mumbai,( and from Mumbai to Pune by road, as Pune airport was not functional then). On reaching home he asked me during dinner , guess who was next to me on the flight ( He was eligible for Business Class then ). I couldnt guess and he told me, your favourite Amitabh Bachchan. I was zapped, I said Dad did you get his autograph ? Dad replied, why should I , Iam not his fan, when you meet him, take it .

Cut to 1994 , I had won the All India award for Best Sales performance and the award was to be given at Mumbai. We were invited to Mumbai and put up at Ajantha Ambassador hotel. We were to join the team from Pune as they started from Sangli by Mahalaxmi express which reached Pune at 6am, we found that very early and decided to come by Deccan Queen which reached Mumbai by 10.30 am. As I reached the Hotel, I saw a Mercedes Van coming out of the gate, I wowed it and came to the reception where my colleague Pravin Rayate greeted me with.. You should have come a bit earlier, Amitabh Bachchan was in the lobby to pick up Jaya Ji {who had her office on the second floor ( Saraswati Audiovisuals, the makers of the TV hit seriel Dekh Bhai Dekh )}. So I Mercedes I saw was his and if I had taken Mahalaxmi express and come, I would have met him. It was not to be. It dampened the spirits of my award ( which I received two days later at Taj from the hands of Adi.B and Nadir.B Godrej .

The Journey moved on..

Insipte of the ups and downs, odds and evens Amitabhs box-office records can be described only in superlatives. Producers and distributors seemed to believe still that even a flop with Amitabhs name on the marquee is a good enough grosser, which was proved by the trade.

His image of the angry young man had viewers reeling under the magic of neorealism, where dream and daydream coalesced in a brave new world. The myriad manifestations of Amitabhs no-holds-barred rebellion offered a blissful release to the repressions of a whole generation. The star became a cult figure of radical dynamism, of iconoclastic change. He was no stranger to the seaminess of street life. His idealism rose not from birth or class, but from action. His avatars recurred in shanties and ghettos, in the underworld dens and among the dregs of humanity. There he battled with the predators of the concrete jungle for survivalhis belligerence hiding a tender heart, family virtues, human kindliness. He was the ultimate good man, often turned bad by circumstances, whose atonement came through self-sacrificeoften unto gory, long-drawn death.

So from Zanjeer through Deewar, Sholay, Mukaddar ka Sikandar, Shahenshah, Inderjeet, Agneepath and Akayla, to Khuda Gawah, the Amitabh archetype continues to reflect variations on a simplistic mould, magnified to a brilliant potency; it has now become part of the collective psyche of a nation of filmgoers. It was the perfect antidote to the dystopian nightmare of modern mechanistic existence, especially in the less cynical times of the recent past. Amitabh individuates his roles with the utmost confidence and conviction. He makes the unsubtle seem subtle, touches the crass with class, makes melodrama credible. Certainly, no other Indian actor had the speaking eyes and spellbinding voice to infuse nuanced suggestivity into stereotypical situations. His finesse did not alienate his characters from the masses.

In the mid 90s he moved towards central Character roles the catalyst being Mohobattein.

Then came the super hit T.V. show Kaun Banega Carorepati anchored by Amitabh. It gave an entire new life to his career which was under the dark shadow.

Finally out of the blue came the date, 12th November 2018.

The prelude to this date was the fact that I had connected to Amitji on all his social media accounts , also my senior colleague Dr Manoj Mehta who was an active participant of ABEF ( Amitabh Bachchan extended Family ), offered us a chance to be a spectator at the KBC show , we ( My friend / ex senior from Godrej Sanjay Pandey, and current colleague Kapil Sharma ) . The date was 12th November. It was the last week of shooting of that season. We reached the sets at Film City at 2 pm sharp but had a long wait till 8pm till we were finally seated, alas in the third row. It was another wait for an hour before the shoot began. Finally at @ 9.00pm he came in a Maroon Suit, seeing him I froze.. There he was some 25 feet away from me. Very interactive with the crowd, very sportive, responding to our comments and jokes. How almost 4 hours past, and it was well after 12am that the photos he has with the audience started and well after 1 am that he left. Look at his dedication reached the sets at 9 am completed 2 episode shoots and left at 1 am. He had just turned 76 then. I had finally seen with my eyes, my hero , my idol, or even if I may say My god.

But better things were ahead, The 2019 edition of KBC started in August 2019.

We had epressed our wish to be a participant again. It was 18th July, at 7.12 pm got a message from Dr Manoj that we could attend the shoot on 6th August as the show restarted on 5th August. This time the procedure was different. There was an online procedure which need to be followed up with the invite.

We did that. But July end, rains started in Mumbai and Pune, everywhere there were spells of flooding, roads closed. Sanjay and Myself were the only two left from Pune and a friend of Sanjay, Kailash Agarwal was to jpin us at Mumbai.

The forecast was rains, we debated till late evening weather to go or quit, but the urge of seeing him was so much that we decided to take the risk.

We reached at 3 pm sharp , but this time there wasnt a long wait. We enrolled ourselves and it was an hour and half later that we were inside. This time being enrolled from the ABEF , we got privileged entry, and were in the first row.

Oh what a feeling it was !! Another hour Later Big B made his majestic entry. Again he was interactive with the crowd, and the shooting ended at 8.30 pm.

Then the photographs moments came. Finally he was in front of me, I had taken a token gift for him, which he accepted. Took his Biography along which he autographed. I was trembling in joy as I shook hands with him, talked to him, it lasted a minute but the emotions were beyond eternity.

Finally at the age of 55 and 45 years later I got to meet him.

Nobody else ever had this deadly combination of unmatched talent and charisma and nobody else will ever have it in future. Then there was style, polish and a great deal of seclusion encouraging rumours and augmenting the aura. Anyway one looked at it, the man radiates power. To recapitulate there has only been one super star in India, and that is Amitabh Bachchan.

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themutantunderground · 5 years

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Come Running Back Ch. 5

John's brother James is in town. With a tendency toward recklessness, that means his visit starts off with a bang. John and Clarice have to rescue James and his injured girlfriend Alison Blaire, aka Dazzler, after they attack an Atlanta anti-mutant shipping magnate, starting a whole new round of problems for the Underground. Never a dull moment when James is around...

Ao3 | FF.net

There were four new holes in the brick wall. John sighed as he brushed his thumb across the crumbling edge of the first one. While James rarely did anything like John, he did deal with pent-up frustration, guilt, and helplessness almost the same way as John. It wasn't the best trait to inherit, but their mother had been much the same way. She would smash things or got outside and tear the laundry off the line. Their father had been the quiet one, pushing his anger into silence and tension, or at least that was what John remembered.

It had been a long time ago.

John followed the holes down the hall to where his brother was sitting in the corner, his hands buried in his long wet hair, his elbows on his drawn-up knees. Forcing him to take a shower had been John's first major accomplishment, but after that, James had refused to do anything else besides station himself outside of the makeshift operating room.

He had eventually been chased off by Shaan, who was an empath. Shaan couldn't handle James' roiling emotions, and the distraction wasn't helping with Ali's surgery so James had been asked to get at least fifty feet away or go hang out in the safe.

Reluctantly, James had left, and John hadn't followed him. If he was James, and Clarice had been in Ali's place, he would've wanted some time to himself. For a while, he had settled down on a couch with Clarice, stroking her hair until she nodded off against his shoulder. Donating blood had taken a lot out of her, and even a cup of coffee and half a ham and cheese sandwich hadn't been enough to take the edge off her exhaustion.

Once Clarice was fully asleep, he slipped away, gently laying her down on the couch and covering her with a blanket. He would come back later to take her to bed. For now, she was fine where she was, and everyone else knew better than to try and wake up Clarice. She was particularly snarky when she was abruptly awakened.

John looked down at James, wanting to yank him up into a hug. But James was a scrawny little twelve-year-old anymore, and maybe a hug wasn't exactly what he needed in this moment. Instead, John sat down beside him and waited.

"She could die." James' voice ragged and reluctant, sharp-edged with horror at the very real possibility.

"Cecelia's an actual surgeon, and Shaan worked in the ER," John said, "They both know what they're doing." He wasn't going to say it couldn't happen, though. Those had been serious wounds, but he did believe in Cecelia and her skills.

James lifted his head, shoving his hair back. He roughly wiped a hand over his face. "There was a lot of blood."

"I swear they'll do everything they can," John said, reaching out to touch his arm. James jerked away from him, and John backed off. "And Ali's going to fight, too. From everything you've told me about her, she's not the type to give up, and she'd be pissed off at you for thinking she would."

"I know but…it's really bad, isn't it? I screwed up so bad," James said. He got up abruptly and took a few steps forward before turning around. "This is on me, it's my fault."

"I seriously doubt you wanted this to happen," John said, watching his little brother clench his fists.

"No, but I wanted to hurt that guy," he snapped back, "I wanted to make him pay, and now…" James lashed out at the wall, which crumbled under the blow, bricks giving way and turning to red powder. He slammed his fist into the dent, widening it, before he leaned against the wall. "I can't even do anything. I can't help her."

"You're here for her, and that's what you can do right now," John said, "You can also stop punching those bricks. Your knuckles are going to eventually split open."

"Not anytime soon," James mumbled but he turned around, resting his back against the wall.

After a few quiet moments, John glanced over at his brother. "What happened out there? Why were you at Griffith's?"

"Because he's a bastard," James growled. He bumped his head against the wall and gritted his teeth. "We had a plan."

John nodded. "Mhmm." Yeah, and that plan had obviously gone awry, based on the results.

"We did." James shot a glare at him and pushed away from the wall. "We waited until the guard changed and found a weak spot in the fence. Ali took out the lights near that spot, and we were going to burn a few warehouses."

It was John's turn to glare. "And you two thought that was helping the mutant cause how?"

"Because he throws all his money behind those anti-mutant people!" James responded, "And even with insurance money, losing all those warehouses would be a blow."

"At least until he pinned it all on mutants, getting even more support for those hate groups and lobbyists," John said, "Which is exactly what he's going to do."

"Will you just—" James bristled and looked away. "Can you…can you wait until later to lecture me."

John winced. "Sorry." He hadn't meant to lay into James right now, not when he was already under a lot of stress.

James shrugged. "It was okay until we hit this one spot. It was like…I don't know how, but Ali's powers stopped working and so did my foresight. I still had strength and enhanced senses, but I couldn't see what was coming. And then these extra guard came after us, and I got separated from Ali, and you know what happened." James dug his fingertips a couple centimeters into the bricks. "I got her and got out of there. So no, you don't have to tell me how stupid it all was, I'm figuring that out on my own."

John shook his head. The idea of some way to turn off a mutant's powers remotely was worrisome, but they could talk about it some other time. James needed support, not condemnation, but John had started thinking about the potential fallout and the possible aftereffect of what they had done. There would be time for that later, after Ali was better and this night was behind them. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"What if she dies. I can't—" James stopped talking and crossed his arms tight over his chest, as if he was holding himself together. Guilt and fury raged in his dark brown eyes, but soon a sheen of tears took over. He looked down, avoiding John's eyes.

John got up and stepped over to James, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a hug before he could protest. For a moment, James tensed up then he dropped his forehead against John's shoulder. Yeah, James wasn't a kid anymore, but that didn't mean he couldn't use a hug. It was the best way John could show that he was there for him.

He wrapped his arms around James and hugged him tighter, only letting go when James did. He squeezed James' upper arm and moved back, giving him some space. "Come on, I'm getting you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Then you can just look at it," John said, heading toward the stairs. "Let's go." After hesitating, James followed him after.

Both of them were silent as John fixed James a ham and cheese sandwich (his specialty tonight, apparently) and a giant plastic cup of water. He made another cup of coffee for himself. He put James take the sandwich and the water and grabbed his own mug before leaving the kitchen. He could faintly hear the sounds from the operating room, so he hurried through the building with James in tow until they reached one of the side doors.

Outside, the night air was crisp and clean and cool, refreshing after the stuffy, boarded up bank. He sat down on the steps as James dropped onto the low concrete wall nearby, setting the food and cup on the wall as well. With no lights in sight, it was easy to see the stars hanging overhead, scattered across the darkness.

He heard James take in a deep breath and looked over to see him take a bite out of the sandwich. However long he needed to, John was going to stay with James. He willed Ali to be okay. She would be. It was a gut feeling, but John had learned a long time ago that his instincts were usually right.

#strat writes #john proudstar #james proudstar #the gifted fanfic

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Clarice Episode 13 Review: Family is Freedom

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This Clarice review contains spoilers.

Clarice Episode 13

Clarice, episode 13, “Family is Freedom,” only closes some of the cliffhangers “Father Time” ended on. We still don’t know whether Clarice Starling (Rebecca Breeds) will be reinstated into the ViCAP team, and we never find out what happened to young Clarice when her Sheriff father left her at the mercy of some pissed off criminals.

The last image we saw of that encounter, when Clarice ran it through her repressed memory bank, was a young Clarice with a gun held to her head as her father hangs his head in shame in the distance. The men who said they were cheated, and called Clarice’s dad a criminal and a coward, warned him he couldn’t hide behind his little girl. We never learn how that scenario plays out. How does she live through that incident to become the wild card federal cop she is today? The gang in the alley do not appear like they’re going to accept partial payment, and the implications are Clarice became part of a deal. But we don’t know and may not find out, as Clarice has not been picked up by CBS, and hasn’t officially been claimed by Paramount+.

This makes “Family is Freedom” the probable series finale, and for that Clarice really pulls out all the stops. The River Murders conspiracy Agent Starling forced the ViCAP team to investigate turns out to be something far worse than expected, the entire episode is action-centered, including the dynamics of every conversation, and one of the main cast gets shot.

The main setting is an exquisitely efficient horror house, and Alastor CEO Nils Hagen (Peter McRobbie), who runs it, is a monster whose deeds go far beyond the crimes of Buffalo Bill. The episode digs deep into the Silence of the Lambs subconscious to rework its iconography. The central location is an everyday nightmare: An animal research facility with its own rendering machine. This is a wonderfully horrific pairing. It screams “you really don’t get much more evil than this.” And then it does. It turns out the machines are grinding up the medical students Tyson (Douglas Smith) has been bringing over as part of his volunteer medical team. This means the meat being rendered is humanitarian cuisine.

The season villain is truly horrific, clicking so much more than the usual horror cliché buttons. Nils Hagen is a mad scientist from a long line of mad scientists. His grandfather weaponized chlorine during World War I, and in tender moments, the family posed deceased children in death portraits. “Memento mori,” as Agent Shaan Tripathi (Kal Penn) puts it, were all the rage at the turn of the century. But photogenic dead kids leave a strange legacy. Nils has been a chemist all his life, it is in his blood. He was born knowing there is no need for fire to get rid of the even the most seemingly damning evidence. Bleach and steam is enough during company sale time, because DNA breaks down at 400 degrees. He says it incredibly matter-of-factly, like the epitome of a psychopathic chief executive. But it is part of his collective unconscious.

It appears Tyson has been trafficking the students because he wants a brother. But all his father’s offspring turn out still born deformities. The students used for breeding are kept in pens, like lambs before slaughter, as if this isn’t going to trigger more memories in Starling. But she dips into her childhood trauma to pull out the idea of all the trapped animals rushing out at once. It is unintentionally funny when the person they run into is Deputy Assistant Attorney General Paul Krendler (Michael Cudlitz), and they knock him to the ground beating tiny little fists into his burly chest.

Just when you think the Hagen family have had their fill of bad blood, the evil father gives his prodigal son a tasteless choice. “This girl is here for you to kill so you can prove you are here for me,” Hagen says. But Tyson’s third option is no less terrifying, nor less psychopathic. He points out Clarice’s strength, her intelligence, he almost pulls her mouth back so Hagen can inspect her teeth, and basically says have at her. Go forth and multiply, I’ll get the jars ready.

Clarice weaponizes psychiatry with a magic bullet. She really gets into Tyson’s head, possibly taking tips from her therapist, Dr. Renee Li (Grace Lynn Kung). Clarice not only gets him to kill his own father but blow his own head off. It’s amazing what you can get away with when you turn in your badge to people who want you to keep it. Hagen was right to have his “first doubts.”

Every major player gets some kind of personal satisfaction. Agent Ardelia Mapp (Devyn Tyler) files her own paperwork, and doesn’t care who gets papercuts. At the outset of the episode, we learn she’s been told to remain in her departmental office, and will be terminated if she plays around with ViCAP. She gets to tell Krendler she’ll be suggesting where her boss can stick his desk duty.

Agent Murray Clarke (Nick Sandow) gets to visibly enjoy it. It may be his happiest moment of the season, and that includes the ending when he is wrapping his ViCAP jacket around a young medical student he helps save. Mapp is also allowed some follow through. She lay her case out straight succinctly, and Special Agent Anthony Herman (David Hewlett) runs out of facial expressions long before she finishes citing out the most grievous offenses. He, like Hagen, hits every button on the cookie cutter of bad men with powers: top cops. It doesn’t matter what Herman says, or what he claims to believe. He was doomed to one-dimension the moment his first word of dialog was keyed into the script.

Agent Esquivel (Lucca De Oliveira) takes strong-arming a witness literally, brother. He has the head of CSA Security Specialists cheek-deep in paperclips at his own desk before arriving at the ViCAP meeting in time to answer a question hanging in the air. The timing on the show is amazingly fortuitous. His entrance into the scene is plays like an old Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse bit. But there are so many moments which coincidentally happen to occur at the last possible moment. Krendler happens to call Attorney General Ruth Martin (Jayne Atkinson) about extenuating circumstances, just as she’s getting spit on by a House representative.

Congressman Llewellyn Gant makes a hard choice easier for Ruth. He tells her to step down, and take care of her daughter Catherine (Marnee Carpenter). The Attorney General responds by giving the go-ahead on an assault which may have been caused by an out-of-control agent who assaulted a civilian. She also begins an investigation on which politicians were getting funding from Alistor, so she gets to stick it to the man. The entire team gets the tell-tale mourning music moaning low as the victims are escorted to vans, and Krendler is loaded into intensive care.

“Family is Freedom” is exactly the kind of ending Clarice promised from the beginning. It went through the paces far too steadily to have any other outcome. The biggest break in protocol is how Clarice Starling took down the two main culprits without lifting a finger. She raised her voice a few times, but the only triggers she pulled were in the minds of her prey. The main character gets what she wants as well, everyone appreciates her, apologizes to her or gifts her with new beads. She even gets time to visit her mother. Clarice gets enough closure to close out the series.

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hidoose · 5 years

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Review Mahira Khan and Bilal Ashraf do their best in Superstar

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Review Mahira Khan and Bilal Ashraf do their best in Superstar

Genius commences with an exceptionally energized Mahira Khan performing in front of an audience, establishing the pace for the dramatization to come.

Mahira plays Noor, a theater entertainer who tries to make it to the extra large screen. She needs to be an on-screen character, not a courageous woman. To make herself known, she works in plugs however is determined to get her big cheese at popularity.

The open door appears to arrive when she gets a business with star Sameer Khan (Bilal Ashraf) yet his youthful conduct prompts a quick conflict. Sameer understands his misstep and trying to compensate for it, love blooms.

Noor’s abilities are perceived by up and coming executive Shaan (Ali Kazmi) who needs to cast her inverse Sameer yet the effectively celebrated entertainer gets a greater chance. Will love conquer the journey for notoriety? We discover.

Superstar is a simple love story

Whiz, in the same way as other movies before it, is a romantic tale at it’s center, simply set in the exciting universe of media outlets. As a thought, I like the plot of this motion picture. It’s straightforward and can break through to the crowd. In any case, it is the treatment of the film that leaves us needing more.

Azaan Sami Khan’s writing did have it’s positives. There were funny quips that made us laugh and no scene went on for too long. But the scenes didn’t go on long enough either. When Noor does make it big and goes through a breakdown, her loneliness was relatable but I was upset that the script didn’t allow the buildup that would’ve justified her breakdown.

There were significant minutes in the film like Noor and Sameer’s first clash or the development to Noor’s anger that should have been fleshed out and could’ve been done as such great. The absence of advancement made it hard for us to associate with the characters as should be obvious what prompted their increased feelings.

The film likewise endured what numerous motion pictures before it have experienced in that it failed out in the subsequent half – and a vexing end – which was sad in light of the fact that Superstar had a certified thought with their romantic tale which the crowd will truly appreciate.

Bilal Ashraf has improved surprisingly from his last film, Rangreza in which he played a comparative character. Be that as it may, it seemed like the on-screen character was attempting to break out of his shell. Be it outrage, love or even a move, the entertainer was in fact sound yet seemed inflexible and I accept the bearing and content is at fault instead of the on-screen character, who had the right mechanics and required a poke the correct way.

As per the story, Sameer is a character very much aware of his fame. He is stylishly late, an awful cooperative person and out for number one. He never got the help of his dad notwithstanding his acclaim and achievement and that causes him to endeavor to be greater and better.

His voyage after gathering Noor is one which lowers him. Sameer needs to demonstrate us not just the significance of organizing family, companions and friends and family over progress yet in addition features the contrast between a star and a craftsman. Yet, the content never begins him off as the reckless and vain star. We never truly observe the self-importance as a part of his character that prompts struggle so the change on the off chance that you can even consider it that is mistaking for the group of spectators.

Same is the situation with Mahira, whose character had so much potential however couldn’t sparkle as much as she had the right to.

Noor is energetic about acting thus has no hesitations in getting Sameer out at whatever point he is in an inappropriate. She has her granddad (Nadeem Baig) close by and the help has made her a tough lady ready to stand her ground and it was invigorating to see her energetic about her art yet honorable enough to not give anybody a chance to trample over her.

When she makes it enormous and experiences a breakdown, her depression was relatable yet I was disturbed that the content didn’t permit the development that would’ve supported her breakdown.

The cast is what makes Superstar worth your time

An unforeseen pleasure was Alizeh Shah as Chutki, Noor’s more youthful sister. Chutki is steady of her sister and doesn’t pass up an opportunity to fangirl over a superstar. She is sure about herself and simply lovable generally. Alizeh’s presentation was on point and she figured out how to get the most giggles out of us.

Nadeem Baig is a veteran and he makes a point to help us to remember this in Superstar with making the best of his character. Sameer Malik – called Agha Jaani by his granddaughters – conveys his jests with nuance and his association with Noor made me grin unfailingly.

Agha Jaani has his own story bend which would’ve added an awesome measurement to the general story, where he regards the specialty and workmanship more than the business yet lamentably, by and by because of a surged content, felt squandered.

Ehteshammudin is known for his dramatizations. His craftsmanship in the medium is perfect however that is the thing that we wind up finding in Superstar. The manner in which it has been shot in fact and in general tone does in truth feel more like a dramatization than a film, and don’t kick me off on the uneven altering and broken sound – in any event get the naming right is all I’m stating.

For a motion picture like Superstar which expects to demonstrate the allure and excitement of the business, this was an issue as it come up short on the kind of otherworldly authenticity we’d have wanted to see here. This was the one film that didn’t should be mitigated and could’ve been extreme. We’ve been interested with the film as far back as the primary track dropped and demonstrated us lovely visuals and not too bad music.

Azaan Sami Khan’s content had it’s positives. There were amusing jokes that made us snicker and no scene continued for a really long time. However, the scenes turned out poorly long enough either.

Ehteshammudin is known for his dramas. His craftsmanship in the medium is impeccable but that is what we end up seeing in Superstar. The way it has been shot technically and overall tone does in fact feel more like a drama than a film, and don’t even get me started on the choppy editing and faulty audio – at least get the dubbing right is all I’m saying.

Having said that, I value the endeavor at effortlessness in the film. In addition to the fact that it humanized the business, it was a decent break from the edgy endeavors at wacky plot turns meant to stun the crowd. Genius is a basic romantic tale and there’s nothing amiss with that. Had the treatment been something more, the content nitty gritty, this would’ve been the film of the year.

Does that mean Superstar won’t be a hit? Not in any manner. The sets, tunes and certified endeavors by the two leads will rope the group of spectators in and considering the voyage media outlets has made and is making, that is a success all alone.

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bubblywimp-blog · 7 years

Text

22 July-An Idea of What’s going on in my life

Okay! so i’ve decided to write until i get a response from you guys..or until i get bored.

okay so, it’s been a month since school started..me and Iomhara have been coping well..adjusting to the lamos in our class..well..we arent really adjusting, when the school started me and she used to practise maths sums and study….mostly because of the classes we both had..my teacher gives us a hell of a homework and the math’s one makes really hard tests..my parents take tution tests seriously so i need to study..study hard!

Flashback

Ugh! i am early again!..now i have to wait for some time until someone i know shows up..

A guy entered the door..his name is shaan..a weirdo..his gang was once playing truth or dare and i heard my name being called over..i looked in his direction and saw him pointing at me saying “this is Lara..there the one whose doodling.” and his other friend looking at me..hell that was awkward cause i caught them looking and talking about me and since they were playing truth or dare the were probably talking something like-She’s cute,i’ve a crush on her, given a chance i would go out with her..blah blah blah. not saying that i am THE CHICK but i know they were talking about this stuff cause they were embarrassed when the saw me looking, me being the generous human i am just looked their way for a minute or two and then started doddling again.

so after that incident it was awkward with them..

now its fine..i’ll come to them later

the thing now is he is the second person that enters this god damn classroom after me..its irritating because we just sit there in a really awkward silence.

I was feeling a bit nauseous so i decided to open the windows thats when i noticed the the blue team’s(this team has a real name that is a more reasonable one but can’t disclose it) senior football selections were taking place today..and fuck! thats where he was..shining like literally shining..man he was the first one i put my eyes on like aww..he is just so cute well not cute he is hot af!..we’ll name him footballer. there was also this dashing new head boy he is a goody two shoes..tani had a crush on him in 8th grade for only 6 months that is..he is incredibly cute! like the dream boyfriend..the good one the one who is sweeter than the whole honeydukes together(Harry Potter reference!)..and humble,genreous,gentle, he is every good adjective in the dictionary.but not my type.now guess what?..this guy we’ll call him Lost Teddy Bear(LTB for short - cause he sure looks like one-but in a cuter way),so LTB thought i had a crush on him cause i used to lookout for tani and he well sometimes..okay! i’ll be honest..many times caught me saying ‘he’s there’,’look he’s coming this way’ and all this shit!

and then he started noticing and ignoring our group..i was doing the same.eventually tani got over him,i told you she is never the commitment type..kine of me but more bold i will get bored if :

i find someone new

something bad happens like he tells me to stop,he has a hardcore crush on someone,etc

or he starts looking ugly

i stop seeing him

gradually i loose interest.

btw that Nilay guy did the pineapple cut..if thats what its called..he looks so weird and i dont like it so interest meter a bit low..

now this teddy bear was also trialing..how many things can you even do eh?..like you are the head boy,so automatically you would be good in academics,you play football,you are the guy most girls would want to date..i can tell that..girls are always trying to flirt with him. the next thing that would happen is i would see him dancing and singing in two voices..like literally are you a super being or something??..plus he has read almost each and every famous book series

The Hunger Games,Maze Runner,Harry Potter,Percy Jackson,and what not

i know this much about him cause well 1.he is famous and 2.his best friend is in my class or was in my class he and GQ were really good friends and this guy had a crush on me,hell! he even waited for me..he waited for 3 years proposed 3 times like boy! i dont like you romantically! sorry but i have frien zoned you! and there is no bloddy thing in this bloddy world that can undo the effect! this guiy you know was really good..sweet and totally into me but no! me being the most stupidest human bring on the planet i friend zoned him!..the thing with me is -i dont like people who like me i want people that have no interest in me,most of the time it is like that.I had literally friend zone each and every datable guy in my class..so back to teddy bear and this teddy is in 12th grade now

so they were trialling..alot of people were there..

now back to my pretty footballer!!..my first reaction when i saw him was fuck

i mean how can someone be that hot!!

and why the hell am i writing in italics..better turn it off...its getting creepy..okay so yeah done..

i was drooling over my babe(technically he is not mine,doesnt even know i exist..) when Arya entered she is a fine gal. nice one to have a chat and talk about boys..well she is like did you see? so many guys are trialling!..and most of them are sooooo hooooot!!!

and i am like i cant see them i am lost in his beauty

“which one?” asked Arya

“the one with the red shirt” i said

“the one that blocked the ball right now?”

“yeah that one”

“he looks hot”

“do you know there is this guy in the green house..i saw him during one of those shitty house meetings..and he is just so cute!!!..and guess what! he is national level boxer and a state level football keeper!!..his personality is so awesome!..we’ll call him boxer” said Arya

“uh-huh nice one!..which grade is he in?” i asked

“11th grade i’ll take you to see him during recess” replied Arya

“righto!”

“hey do you wanna see this footballer guy face to face..they may be coming upstairs for changing!” proposed Arya

“of Course!”

so then we were waiting in the corridor which was filled with students..seniors,juniors,9th graders on the left corridor,11th graders etc on the right one..and then he entered..i swear he’s got abs...and he is so tall so cute..so awesome!..of course he did not notice me,of course he did not bother to turn and say sorry when his sweatfull body..if being more specific then- his shoulder brushed against mine..of course still he does not know that his smile makes my day..of course he does not know that he is the reason me and Iomhara eat our lunch as fast as we can..ofcourse he wont come out when he is finished with his lunch..of course he wont bother..

i told my friends about this tani and aki said that i was being a low standard bitch who would fall for anyone fair and tall...but this is so not true,pratham is fair and fairly tall...i hate him.i hate him because he is a playboy.If Footballer is a playboy then i won’t be that crazy about him.

And well Iomhara was not that excited about him(this was when she had not seen him)..the same was with aura..the thing is if my friends,whenever i tell them about a guy and they don’t know him that is they have no idea of his appearance, they automatically lose interest. Plus Iomhara had a glimpse of him once and he appeared to her as FAT! like literally he has freakin’ hottie abs for heavens sake!..but then she came around and is like he is okay-okay..aura had the same opinion. but no! he is awesome i dunno what happens when i see him but the way he talks the way he smile the way he walks even though my friends say he is a bit lanky,i dont care!!..its been a month since i have been into him..! and now that i think of it,i shouldn’t waste time on people who don’t even know i exist..but then again he could know i exist,if i talk to him..but he does not even come out during lunch breaks..

anyway this aki has a crush just like mine..but this one he is a bit different..lets call him Yan, so when i first saw him i was like “girl you deserve better”

and then aki is like i dunno i just feel something when i see him.

like literally! he is skinny, is not even that handsome!..he is even taken!!..i dont think so footballer is in a relationship.

Yan’s a 11th grader,his class is next to mine. so once he was passing by and is asked him his name,very innocently he said “Yan.”

i gotta admit that was kinda cute but still! he is a prefect!!!..anyway after a few days when i saw him again i had the urge to go and say hi so i did he even greeted back though it was with hesitation and Iomhara is like what did you just do,and i am like i wanted to say hi. A few days passed with hi’s and bye’s.Iomahara started doing it too but with a ‘bhaiya’ it means brother. she does this because she wants to make it clear that she is in no way interested in him,as for me i like to keep ‘em confused!..so this hesitation began to slip away and after that he was like ‘yeah i know these girls..so better be good and say hi’

Yesterday was the schools first academic council meeting those are the meeting in which you can complain loads about teachers and the school but no one does that cause the blame would come on you and well i was chosen along with a super smart guy of my class..he looks a bit like jerry from tom and jerry. we arrived a bit early and there was a bit of time left(or we can say our principal arrived a bit late-that bastard! always arrives late and i could not take a last round in the corridor to see my babe-not really my babe he is..)

when i arrived i saw that Yan was also there..our periodic test had just gotten over and we were as usual roaming the corridor when i saw Yan,Iomhara said hi to him and he returned it back but when i did,i dunno if it was the hustle bustle in the background or something but he did not notice me.. i felt kinda bad tbh..anyway during this council meeting i was hoping that footballer would represent his class but no! rather a guy who had his face shape showed up! no literally! first of all i am with all the people who just want to complain and then i need to put on my collar button see that my hair look neat and sit up straight because i am sitting in front of the principal,the vice principal,the coordinator and all the head teachers and then this footballer does not show up! anyway i told you before that Teddy Bear is the head boy so automatically he was in the meeting jotting down points next to the pretty head girl and he is so cute! a cutie literally that was the only entertainment for me! though i think he noticed me and then was like ‘this stalker girl! how can she be in this council! i dont think so she is that good in her studies all she does is crack jokes with that girl group of hers’

and i can tell he and Yan both were dead surprised to see me there. well when my class teacher Eela told me that she had given my name for that i was too,cause i dont come sincere and studious on the first glance..atleast i dont think so i do..

anyway after all those stupid little complaints from people, a guy from 12th grade (the same year as teddy bear) came up he is the academic prefect and gave an awesome speech! like seriously dude you rock!..he was giving us tips on how to study for competitive exams.you know this guy he came 7th out of 5000 people! that too in a really tough exam! and he was keep saying that seniors should be more approachable,juniors should try to seek help from them and all i really liked this point-not with the academic meaning(know what i mean,if you don’t i make it simple for you-footballer is my senior!!!,,so i was thinking about him!) anyway the speech was so awesome! ..man so so so flattered i was!..

anyway his speech ended and then we were allowed to disperse,when i was going towards the exit and looking here and there i caught Yan’s eye and guess what? he smiled,i did not even say hi or make the first move! he genuinely smiled!!! god! if i am able to make friends with him maybe i can set things up for aki!!

and right now i am really irritated on teddy bear like seriously dude! just stop noticing me! i know you do! i feel the awkwardness!

after the meeting when we were dispersing,Iomhara and me were going down the stairs and i saw Teddy Bear talking with the head girl,they are always talking to each other..don’t tell anyone but i kinda ship them

and i can swear in front of the ministry of magic that i saw his eyes flick towards me and then back to he girl!..its bloddy awkward you know!

so thats pretty much and also the gorrila guy sid on which aura had a crush on..aura got over him! like i am so happy!!

and after sometime that animal got in a relationship with a girl named Ifa. this sid guy is always irritated,irritated by anything..he can even be irritated if you breathe! i wont be surprised if he is irritated by his own breathing..its kind of funny to see him like that!..me and Iomhara like to irritate him! especially me !

So guys-actually i was planning to write on how my day went but i was practically writing this whole day,not this post but setting up the account and all and i am pretty slow at things so yeah!..anyway this is pretty much about whats going on in my life right now..i will tell you about my summer vacations in a different posts,but for the time being lets keep it this much!

LaraAngel

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hms-chill · 4 years

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Hi! It's the Henry whump anon again ^^; Thanks so much for your response ;u; Ah, from the h/c prompts I really liked either 1 or 50 (but 3, 47, 32 are also fun if you don't like those two!!) I love injury/sickness whump the best but emotional is also fine if you're more inspired for that. ... i feel like I'm placing one of those complicated coffee orders and I feel bad about it I'm sorry! Ofc these are just suggestions, no pressure, I'd read anything of yours tbh! ^ω^ Thank you for your time!

Hello! In reference to your coffee order analogy, have you ever shown up at a place like “okay so I have a $10 gift card, what’s the most I can get with that?” and had a disillusioned cashier excitedly help you get like... $9.99 of junk food and it feels like you’re part of a two-woman conspiracy to undermine Chick-Fil-A by getting as much free food as possible? Just me? Anyway that’s how I felt writing this. I had another request for number one, so I only got 50, 3, 47, and 32 in, but I was proud of that.

50. “I can’t believe I let this happen.”

3. “Get away from me!”

47. “You know I would never hurt you.”

32. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Alex is late. Again. Normally it wouldn’t bother him too much; most of the people in his life have just learned to let it slide when he’s slipping into the back of a lecture or coming into a meeting in progress in a bit of a panic. But, well. This is different. This is Henry. It’s Henry and the shelter, and he’d promised to be there early to help set up, but now he’ll be lucky to be on time, and no matter how much he blames his professors or the MTA or anyone else, he knows it’s his own fault. He’d forgotten to set an alarm to make himself stop working, and he’d forgotten to watch the clock or just be on top of things. But he didn’t, and now he’s let Henry down again, and he only has himself to blame, and he feels awful.

Henry’s already on stage when Alex arrives, speaking about the importance of the youth shelter and the services it provides to a crowd who are loving it. Alex settles in, leaning against a post in the wings to listen. He loves seeing Henry like this. He’s so beautifully confident, so overwhelmingly sure of what he’s doing, so clearly passionate about the shelter. And Alex loves him so much. He’s such an amazing person, and Alex is so wrapped up in watching him shine that he doesn’t pay attention to anything else. He doesn’t hear the man coming up behind him, doesn’t realize he’s in trouble before he hears Cash shout at him to duck. He does without hesitation, dropping to the floor as a gunshot goes off above him. Henry flinches forward a bit, and people start to scream, but that doesn’t cover the sound of a second gunshot going off over Alex’s head. At that one, Henry lets out a shout, pressing a hand to his side even as he’s urging people to stay calm and not shove each other. Even as Alex watches his legs give out, Henry is clinging to the podium and begging people to look out for each other as he crumples to the ground. Alex is moving before he’s even sure what’s happening, before he can process anything. He doesn’t care, he just needs--

His eyes meet Henry’s, and in a voice far too calm for the situation, Henry says, “Alex, get away from me.”

Alex freezes in his tracks, and he watches as Henry’s eyes close, watches as Amy gets to him and picks him up, his head flopping loosely back as she carries his limp body off stage. Alex is vaguely aware of people moving around him, of shouting and running, but he can’t stop staring at the puddle of Henry’s blood at the foot of the podium. It’s a black stage, too solid to let anything soak into it. So the blood sits on the surface, reflecting the sunlight far too cheerily as it slowly dries into a slightly darker patch of stage.

Before it’s dried completely, there’s a hand on his shoulder, and Cash is getting him up and into a car. Someone’s in the driver’s seat, and Cash sits in the back with Alex. The minute the door is closed behind them, the pull away, and Cash looks Alex in the eye to ask, “are you hurt?”

Alex shakes his head automatically. After a moment, Cash pulls him in for a hug, and a choked sob claws its way out of Alex’s throat.

“I... he told me to--” he can’t repeat it. It’s been playing on repeat in his mind ever since. He can’t let himself think about what might be happening to Henry, refuses to allow himself to even imagine that Henry might not recover, so spiralling about being told to go away is somehow the safest, sanest option here.

“He wanted you safe,” Cash says. And that makes sense, but Cash hadn’t seen Henry’s face. He doesn’t know how much this event meant to Henry, how important it was that Alex was there to support him.

Cash doesn’t know that they’d talked about the possibility of Alex turning up late. He hadn’t been there when Alex asked how important he really was to the success of the event, and how at dinner Henry had said it didn’t matter. Cash wasn’t there in bed the night before, when Alex called Henry’s bluff, and when Henry explained how he’s always felt like he had to face things like this by himself, but having Alex there makes it easier. Cash doesn’t know that having Alex nearby before an event calms Henry down enough that he can actually focus on the event, or that Alex had listened, then taken Henry’s hand and said, “why did you ever tell me I could miss things? Why didn’t you tell me all this? I’ll be there early, because I love you, I swear.”

Cash doesn’t know how badly he’d let Henry down today, and he doesn’t know how much Alex had risked just to get there late and let Henry down anyway. He doesn’t know that Alex had gotten into a subway car just as it was leaving the station, knowing that his security team would have to wait six minutes for the next one, doesn’t know that Alex had booked it to the venue instead of waiting for them like he was supposed to. Cash had been there on time, helping get things set up and probably doing Alex’s job of looking after Henry. He can’t know.

“I... it’s my fault. I was running late, so I was in a rush and I lost my team, and I... I must have picked up a tail. I forgot to watch the time. It’s all my fault, and now...”

“It’s not. It’s not your fault,” Cash says, hugging him closer. “You didn’t make him trail you, you didn’t make him want to hurt you. You didn’t let him get close enough to shoot. That... none of that was your fault. But we’re going to be at the hospital soon. Amy’s beat us here, so Henry’s in surgery. Are you alright to go into a waiting room, or would you rather drive around for a bit to calm down?”

“No, we... can we go in?” Cash nods, and when they pull up outside, he guides Alex into a waiting room. Alex processes vaguely that he’s shaking. Cash says something about his family being on their way, but it’ll take some time before they can get here.

Shaan appears, and he looks as disheveled as Alex feels. Well, the top button of his shirt is unbuttoned and he has at least four hairs out of place, but for Shaan, that’s got to be the equivalent to Alex’s shaking hands and bouncing knee. He comes to sit next to Alex, and he says it’ll be alright, but Alex can’t imagine how he knows that.

Alex has no idea how long they sit there. At some point, he tries to make a list:

Henry told him to go away.

Henry has just been shot.

The shooter was clearly coming for Alex, and he clearly followed Alex to the event, where he then shot Henry.

Henry is currently in surgery, because he was shot, because Alex was running late and ditched his security and let a shooter tail him to an event.

“Get away from me” might be the last thing Henry ever says to him.

He stops trying to count after that. He paces instead, then gives up on that, too. Cash brings lunch, but he’s too worried to eat. He wants to search the hospital for Henry, wants to shake someone into telling him something, but that won’t do any good.

A million lifetimes later, he’s mid-pace when Cash’s hand lands on his shoulder, pulling him out of his head.

“He’s out of surgery. It’s going to take some time, but the doctor expects him to make a full recovery.”

For the second time today, Alex hugs Cash, hard. Cash hugs him back, then says, “He’s not awake yet, but we can go in if you’re ready.”

And with that, all of Alex’s other fears come crashing back into him. Henry’d said he should go away. He’d messed up. He was late, despite having promised he’d be there early to help. He’d brought a tail to the event, and he could have killed someone. It’s his fault any of this happened. And Henry had told him to get away. Maybe, Henry doesn’t want to see him anymore.

“I... maybe Shaan, but I... I’m not sure he wants me,” Alex says finally, and he knows his hands are shaking, and he realizes that maybe he’s on the verge of a panic attack, and maybe he’s been on the verge of a panic attack for a long time. Cash just hugs him, and keeps him upright when he body wants to fall into a puddle of fear on the floor of the waiting room. And Alex plants his face into Cash’s chest and tries to take deep breaths, tries not to focus on the fact that Henry might hate him, tries to ignore the fact that any choice he makes now could only make everything worse.

He tries very, very hard to make a list. And he comes up with nothing.

He’s not sure how long it takes him to process that there’s a hand on his shoulder, but he turns just enough to see Shaan attached to it.

“He’ll want to see you,” Shaan says simply, and his tone is indisputable. So Alex nods, and they go to Henry’s room, and Alex breaks into tears again at the sight of Henry, pale as a sheet and lying on the hospital bed. Cash hugs him, and after a moment, Alex is able to pull away and let Shaan convince him that he really does deserve to sit down next to Henry’s bed. He takes Henry’s hand, but then that feels like too much and he puts it down. He’s not even sure Henry wants him here.

But if Henry does want him, then will he be hurt if Alex isn’t holding his hand? Will it make him think Alex doesn’t care? He’s reaching for the hand again when it moves, and Alex pulls back on instinct.

“H-- Henry?” His voice is shakier than he wants it to be. He’s not sure what to do with his hands, and he’s aware that his hands are a stupid thing to be worried about right now, but he’s not sure how to make himself worry about something more important.

Henry’s head turns, and his eyes are on Alex, and Alex can’t breathe. Henry’s eyes go wide, and he’s upset. Alex feels his heart plummet from the lump in his throat to the acid in his stomach.

“I... Shaan said you’d want me here; I told them you said I should go away and you wouldn’t want me, but he.. he said-- I’m sorry. I knew you wouldn’t want to see me, I can’t believe I let this happen; I... I’ll go.”

“Alex, what?” Henry’s voice is a bit hoarse, but it’s enough to send a dagger through Alex’s stomach.

“You... you told me to get away, and I didn’t... I’m sorry. This is my fault; it’s my fault you were hurt, and I--” Henry takes his hand, and Alex’s mouth stops working. Apparently, he’d decided that the right place to put his hand was the side of Henry’s bed, and Henry’s taken it and started rubbing little circles in the back of it. Alex looks up at him, and he lets himself hope, maybe for the first time since Henry woke up.

“I never meant... sweetheart, I’m sorry. I... when we were growing up, they taught us to stay away from each other if anything like this happened so that we wouldn’t be a big target, and I... I’m sorry.” Henry tries to push himself up, then grimaces and says, “come here, would you? I need to hug you, but my bloody stitches won’t let me up.”

Alex is more than happy to oblige, pulling Henry into a careful hug. Henry hugs him back so tightly Alex is worried that he’ll pull his stitches anyway.

“I’m sorry. You know I’d never hurt you, not on purpose. I’d never ask you to leave if it weren’t for your own good. I love you far, far too much for that.”

And if that makes Alex cry again, well, it’s been a long day. He deserves a good cry, and he deserves to climb into bed with his boyfriend so that Henry can hold him close and smooth out his hair and promise that things will be alright. He’d tried to protest, or to apologize, but Henry refused to hear any of it. So instead, Alex just lets himself be held close, drifting off to sleep with the confidence that Henry is safe and that he is loved.

#ask and answer #rwrb prompt #rwrb ficlet #rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb angst #FirstPrince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor x alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor

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