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obx-adventures · 4 years

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The Fall

Summary: Grace just moved from Figure Eight to the Cut. She never expected to run into her old friend, Kiara, and discover she lives next door to JJ Maybank.

A/N: If you want to be added to the taglist for future chapters, let me know. I also add people to the list who reblog any of the chapters.

Catch up here: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4

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Chapter 5

“You just planning on ignoring me?” Kiara gave Grace a few minutes to collect her thoughts after she got in the van but can’t wait any longer. “Grace, come on, talk to me.”

“Nothing, Kiara. It’s nothing.” Grace’s voice is barely a whisper.

“Look, something obviously happened with your dad yesterday. I get that you don’t want to talk about that. But it doesn’t explain JJ being at your house this morning wearing the same clothes as yesterday or the weird vibe between you two. At least tell me what’s going on between you and him.”

“Kiara, if you want me to be able to get through my shift today, please let this go.” Grace’s grip on her emotions is slowly slipping. She’s not used to having people notice when she’s having a difficult time and it’s making it a lot harder to keep her composure.

“Ok, you don’t have to talk about it. But can I say one thing really quick?” Grace nodded but stayed quiet. “I’ve never seen JJ act like he does when he’s around you. He is horrible at talking about and showing his feelings and being vulnerable, but it doesn’t mean that the feelings aren’t there. My advice for you is to consider his actions as a whole, not just whatever happened between the two you since last night.”

True to her word, Kiara doesn’t say anything else during the trip to The Wreck. Grace silently mulls over everything that has happened between her and JJ. Was Kiara right? Grace didn’t really know JJ before becoming a Pogue so she can’t compare his behavior with her to his behavior with other girls. But if he felt the same about her, why would he reject her last night? She didn’t let him explain this morning, just assuming that he would try to let her down gently.

As they pull into the parking spot at The Wreck, Grace decides to give JJ the benefit of the doubt. Before Kiara can get out of the car, Grace grabs her arm gently to get her attention.

“Thank you, Kiara.”

Kiara is intuitive enough to know that Grace doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, so she offers Grace a smile and hugs her quickly. When she lets Grace go, she notices tears glistening in her friend’s eyes and gives her one final squeeze on the shoulders before getting out of the car.

---- “JB? You here?” JJ calls out as he walks into the Chateau.

“Hey, man. Where did you go last night?” John B has been worried about his best friend since he left the Boneyard last night. Normally, that means JJ went home but John B can’t find any new bruises. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean they aren’t there

“Just wanted to make sure Grace got home ok.” John B furrows his brow in confusion. He knew that something was off with the newest member of the Pogues, but JJ has never left a party to check on a girl.

“What was going on with her yesterday? Is she alright?”

“She’s got some family stuff going on. Rafe was a fucking asshole to her and she had enough.”

“Is she ok now?” John B studies JJ from across the room, trying to understand the weird vibe he’s giving off.

“Uh… not really. She’s working now and I’ll see how she is when I pick her up later.”

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Are you two a thing now?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” JJ pushes down his irritation, knowing John B is just fishing for information. He’s made comments about JJ and Grace for the past week or so. JJ has tried to hide his feelings for her better but apparently that hasn’t worked very well.

“Bullshit. I see how you are with each other.” JJ shrugs at John B and refuses to make eye contact. “Are you macking on her?”

“No. You know the rule.” John B rolls his eyes at his friend.

“Fuck the rule. And Grace wasn’t part of that rule. She just became a Pogue a few weeks ago. Don’t use that as an excuse.”

“Shut up, JB. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Whatever you say, man. But you two are clearly into each other. Just man up.”

JJ storms into his room at the Chateau and slams the door. He knows John B is right, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Why would Grace like him? She’s smart and strong and kind while he’s a fuck up who is only good at surfing. His own parents don’t even think he’s worth a damn so there’s no chance she would. He closes his eyes and remembers the way she looked at him last night. When he was holding her before Kie texted, she looked at him the way no one else did. And then when she came back from the bathroom, he thought that maybe she wanted to kiss him too. But she was drunk and sad. People do a lot of things that they think will make them feel better. There’s no way she would want to kiss him sober. Just because she was upset earlier, doesn’t mean she wants him. She was just embarrassed. Right?

He wakes up an hour later to his phone beeping, but he silences it and rolls over. Thirty minutes later, John B and Pope barge into his room.

“JJ, you have to text Kie back.” Pope is frazzled and out of breath.

“Did you run here?” JJ asks, confusion lacing his voice.

“Kie told me to find you ASAP. Grace needs you.”

“What’s wrong?” JJ bolts out of bed and throws on clean clothes.

“Her mom came to The Wreck and was really drunk. She was crying and begging Grace to forgive her. Kie couldn’t figure out what they were talking about, but she thought you would know.”

“Is her mom still there?”

“Yea, Grace went back to the office and locked herself in. I guess her mom is banging on the door and sobbing.”

“Fuck… JB, can I borrow the van?” In response, John B throws JJ the keys. “Thanks, man. And… sorry about earlier.”

“It’s fine, just go.” JJ pats John B on the shoulder and runs out of the house.

----

“Grace? Where are you sweetheart?” Grace is hiding under the desk with her hands over her ears when she hears JJ’s voice.

“JJ?” Grace calls out.

“Yea, Kie gave me the key so I can check on you.” A wave of comfort rolls over Grace. Despite their fraught exchanges this morning, Grace is relieved that JJ is here.  “Is my mom with you?” JJ follows her voice and realizes where it’s coming from.

“No, Kie’s dad got her to calm down and move away. What are you doing under the desk?” JJ sits down next to Grace and gently wipes her tears from her face.

“Just trying to block her out… Kiara called you?”

“Yes and no… she texted me, but I was ignoring my phone. She sent Pope to find me.”

“What did she tell you?” Grace won’t look at his handsome face, too afraid that she’ll see pity in those beautiful eyes.

“That your mom was here, drunk and upset, trying to talk to you.” JJ sees the familiar flush of her cheeks and scolds himself for not being tactful. “Hey, hey, no need to be embarrassed. You should hear some of the stories about my dad… Are you ok?”

Grace shakes her head no and JJ scoots closer to her and wraps her in his arms. He kisses her head as she cries against his chest. After a few minutes, Grace pulls back and wipes her face.

“I’m sorry, JJ…”

“For what?”

“This is the third time you’ve had to deal with my breakdowns since last night. I’m sure you would rather be doing anything else right now.”

“No way. I’m right where I want to be. You’re important to me and I’m here for whatever you need.”

Graces studies JJ’s face, hoping to find sincerity. She does but also sees something else that she can’t name. It’s the same thing she saw last night before Kiara texted him. But what does it mean? As if reading her mind, JJ reaches out and squeezes Grace’s hand.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here.” JJ helps Grace out from under the desk.

“I’m only half way through my shift.”

“Mr Carrera said you could take the rest of the day. Come on… I have the van and I want to take you somewhere.” Grace nods at JJ and tries to clean herself up a little in the office mirror. “You look beautiful already.”

Grace offers JJ a shy smile and grabs her purse from the locker. When they leave, they use the service door, so Grace doesn’t need to see anyone else on her way out. After she gets into the van, she texts Kiara to thank her for her help and tells her she’ll call her later.

“So… where are we going?”

“This place that Big John used to take me and John B to when we were younger. I still go there sometimes to be alone and get my head on straight again. I think you’ll like it.”

JJ drives them to a part of the island that Grace has never been. She tries to observe the new terrain instead of letting her nerves get the best of her. JJ seems just as nervous, tapping rapidly on the steering wheel as he drives.

“Here we are… Redfield Lighthouse. You ever been here?”

“Uh… no. I didn’t even know this was here. We can go inside?”

“Well… not technically… but I always just sneak up there.” Grace looks anxious but that soon disappears when JJ grabs her hand again. “Come on, it’ll be fine.”

They climb the stairs and get to the gallery without running into anyone. JJ drags Grace over to the edge and sits with his legs dangling over the side. Grace is skeptical but JJ pats the area next to him for her to sit down. They sit in silence for a few minutes. Grace is about to speak but she can see that JJ is trying to find the words, so she gives him more time.

“Grace… I wanted to kiss you last night.” Grace flushes pink and JJ chuckles as he brushes over her cheeks with his fingers. “I’ve wanted to kiss you every day since the first time you went out on the Pogue with us.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“You were drunk and the whole thing with your parents is a lot. I didn’t want to risk doing this… us the wrong way.”

“Us?” Grace finally feels a flicker of hope. Maybe JJ does want to be with her.

“Well, I mean, I hope so. I remember the spark I felt when I touched your hand that night before you got out of the van. Then I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. I’d catch myself watching you all the time when you were talking to one of the others. You would smile and I could feel my whole body relax. Sometimes I thought I could feel you watching me too. And then the other night… nobody has taken care of me the way you did. I finally felt peace when I fell asleep with you that night.”

“I felt that too. You’ve been my safe harbor during all of this. You’re the only person who has ever really known me…” Grace’s words fill JJ with confidence and hope.

“Can I… can I kiss you?”

Grace bits her bottom lip and nods shyly. JJ moves closer and brings his calloused hands up to cup her cheeks. He leans towards her and brushes his nose against hers. He pauses and stares into her eyes, searching for any reservations. She smiles slightly and moves the rest of the way to meet his lips. The kiss starts off soft and gentle. Grace brings her hands up, resting one in the crook of his neck while the other runs through his hair. He leans further into the kiss and probes along her mouth with his tongue. She obliges, opening her mouth to allow him entry. They get lost in the bliss of a perfect first kiss until they both need air. They rest their foreheads against each other, keeping eye contact as they catch their breath.

Taglist: @agirlwholovescoffee @alexa-playafricabytoto @mendesmaybank @teamnick @laurenyee09 @prejudic3 @teaheeee @shy-1234 @rudyismymanperiod @teaparadiso @ifilwtmfc @bxmaaa @qevon @lemur46

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inspector-montoya-fox · 4 years

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here’s why Thieves in Time is a bad game

before y’all try it, i just want to say that i’ll be as unapologetically petty and sarcastic as i want and fucking rip this game to shreds. yes, this is how i’ve spent my days since Thieves in Time came out. sitting alone in my room, staring at the wall, crying and complaining. because it has since been my life’s aim and dream to think about it every day, state the negative things about it, and become an evil essay witch on this half-dead website. *evil laugh*

Story:

References: i want to start with the smallest problem, but one that annoys me to this day. in the original trilogy, there weren’t a lot of references but the ones that were included were meticulously researched and well thought-out (i’m specifically referring to that Neil Diamond Carmelita vinyl gag, but can’t find the original post). the references in Thieves in Time however, were obviously just the creators’ interests. Turning Japanese, Clan of the Cave Bear and Bentley’s “hacksona” presented as Rambo just scream 1980s (which i’m assuming is the decade the creators grew up in), and Of Mice and Men is classic literature about the Great Depression, which subsequently started being taught in school in the US during the 1980s. it feels like the creators just went ‘let’s discuss what our lives had in common during our teen years and put that in’ instead of researching it first. and, here’s the thing: when you’re adding references, in order to make them funny or interesting, they have to fit in with the property or the character that’s connected to them in some way. Don Octavio was an opera aficionado so his episode’s title card pays homage to the Phantom of the Opera, young Muggshot was influenced by the movie “The Dogfather” because he’s a gangster, etc. these were funny because they were so spot-on with these characters. if every character in the Sly Cooper universe references the same type of stuff (from the 1980s) and shares the same interests, it’s just claustrophobic and uninteresting. i’m pretty sure i’m not the only one who had to look up these ultra-hetero, scrotum references when the game came out. that’s because they were specifically tailored to be funny to them, and not their target demographic which were kids in 2013.

Narrative: now that we got that out of the way, let’s look at the narrative. at the end of Sly 3, Bentley says he’s building a time machine. Sanzaru took that joke and decided to run with it as the premise for their game. ok, not the best idea, but i get it - you’re literally picking up where the last game left off. since all the storylines were wrapped up, they could’ve done something different like Sly’s kids or Bentley and Murray’s families, but this isn’t an essay about suggestions so...... time travel (i want to say that it’s, again, an 80s reference but whatever) was pretty ‘out there’ in 2013. i mean, even Plants vs Zombies 2, which was released that year, had to do with time travel (yes, i’m referencing an app). but Sanzaru had the advantage of applying this premise onto already established mythos and lore. the story had definite potential: someone is threatening Sly’s lineage so he has to travel back in time to save the day. the player would get to explore new locations and iconic eras in history, and, of course, the main selling point: playable ancestors. how could you screw that up? welp.... let’s think about the plot holes here for a sec. Bentley’s device would take the gang back in time when given an item from the specific era. stop. this right here is called ‘over-complicating’. how did they know the items would take them directly to the point where the specific ancestor was in danger? the Feudal Japan period lasted for 700 years: how did the machine know when and where to drop them off? and if the gang could return to the present at any time, why didn’t they do so when they were in trouble? oh right, the machine was broken. so how did they return the baddies to the present after they defeated them? i mean, why did they use the Grizz’s crown to travel to Medieval England if they went back to the present to drop him off to Interpol first? and on that note, how did they drop the baddies off to jail without getting caught and without Carmelita being around? i can already hear you thinking but these are total details that aren’t important, you jerk! well, yea, they truly are details and i truly am overthinking it. and yes, i truly am a jerk. but let me tell you something: when Sanzaru chose to make a new Sly game, did they not think ‘oh we’ll have to follow up Sly 2 and Sly 3′s stories’ which were well thought-out narratives with depth and various themes and didn’t have huge plot holes (as seen by my analysis through the episode project) ???? and did they also not think that their game would come out eight years after the last one, having expectations at an all-time high???? yea, that’s what i thought.

Characters: i’ll make a different section for Sucker Punch’s characters, so this is for Sanzaru’s original ones. name one iconic original character from Thieves in Time. i’ll wait... nope. not one. that’s because all of them were absolute shit. and here’s where i want to touch upon Sanzaru’s over-reliance on the trilogy. Ms Decibel (perhaps the most obvious copy) is a mix between Don Octavio, Miz Ruby, and the Contessa. El Jefe is Rajan if he went to the gym. Toothpick has Sir Raleigh’s temper and tendency to grow in size. and the Grizz is... whatever the fuck he is. (don’t worry i didn’t forget Le Paradox and Bob). there’s a difference between studying & creating similar characters and blatantly plagiarizing older characters because you lack the creativity. oh, boo-hoo this evil jerk’s telling it how it is. this set of villains is so lacklustre, i don’t even know where to begin. El Jefe is a tiger, even though we’ve already had two major tiger villains and one tiger flashlight guard. ok. Rajan could summon lightning because of the Clockwerk heart but El Jefe can do the same, how exactly? Toothpick is an armadillo (good) from Russia (better) with an obsession with the West (excellent) who can also grow huge (very bad). it’s never explained how or why. why?????? just tell me why. i want to know. i really want to know. Ms Decibel is an elephant who got into a tragic accident which left her with the power of hypnosis. music and hypnosis have already been done, but ok, i’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. so how do we use this character? spend the entirety of her screen time making jokes about... wait for it... her weight !!! this is top-notch comedy... really? like... really? the creators’ humor is a crime, at best. fart jokes and fat jokes all around. oh, and then there’s the Grizz. what the fuck where they thinking? just, what the fuck. i guess the guys at Sanzaru thought black people speak in rap? is that it? apart from it being extremely offensive, it’s also a blatant copy of Dimitri’s backstory. like, his introductory cutscene even has his paintings thrown at him and into the trash, like the intro cutscene for The Black Chateau. honestly, all of these villains caused me several types of pain, but not as much as...

Bob & Le Paradox: the absolute worst. i can just imagine the meeting going something like this: Sly’s ancestors are awesome! i wish we could fit them all in the game... here’s an amazing idea! what if we use one of the game’s few levels to introduce a brand new ancestor! yea! let’s make him dumb as fuck, strip him of any athletic prowess, and retcon the entire lineage by having him be the first Cooper ever! the kids will love a prehistoric level! ..... could you kindly point out where and when did ANYONE ask for this? i remember @ironicsnap saying something like the game is good until Bob. no, it was already bad - Bob just lowered the standard. like, a lot. people love Murray and his gameplay is neat, but no one ever thought ‘oh i wish we had a Cooper character with Murray’s game style’. why would they waste the opportunity to bring in Henriette, Thaddeus, Otto, literally any ancestor? why??? but they went ahead and created their own Cooper, and that wasn’t even the end of it. they had to make him dumb. they had to make him unbearable. they had to ruin the Cooper ancestry by adding this mess to the lineage. Sucker Punch made sure that all the ancestors were unique, but at the same time made all of them suave and funny and slick and you wish you could be them! well, fuck that. also, his name is Bob. Bob Cooper. it’s been 7 fucking years and i still can’t wrap my head around it.... so now, let’s talk about Le Paradox. i don’t have to mention the previous main villains, but i will. Clockwerk killed Sly’s ancestors and father, and was seemingly an eternal threat. Neyla was a psychopath who fooled everyone on her journey to becoming immortal by resurrecting Clockwerk. Dr M opened up the possibility for Sly’s dad to be a jerk instead of a hero, and died trying to unlock the Coopers’ legacy. how does Le Paradox compare? well, he’s a sleazebag skunk who was mad because of his dad’s downfall to the Coopers. that’s it. no twist, no depth, no clever dialogue. nothing. there’s nothing there. this is a new character, unfamiliar to everyone, who was hyped up for 5 levels and defeated in the conclusion. why was he a match for Sly? i don’t know. how did he fight for his life and ultimately tricked Sly into helping him? i don’t know. how the hell did he kidnap Carmelita? i don’t know. was it the power of persuasion? no, he’s revolting. so i literally don’t know. there’s no backstory, no fleshing-out the character, nothing. all we’re given to work with is a brief info-dump about his dad and how he escaped prison. i don’t know what else to say apart from how big a humiliation this was for Sanzaru and their team of writers. you had 8 years to work on something and this is what you came up with? anything would be better. anything would best this utter cliché of a villain, a distasteful misogynist, crybaby, idiot with an accent. literally anything.

Arcs & Themes: let’s take a look at the formulaic subplots for the gang’s members. apart from dealing with Le Paradox, everyone had a small arc. Sly had to deal with his break-up with Carmelita. Bentley had to deal with his break-up with Penelope. Murray had to deal with playing second fiddle to Bob. Carmelita was a damsel in distress and sex bait for the ancestors. the ancestors had their own mini storylines along with reacting to Sly’s presence. there you have it. i summarised it all for you, nice and neatly. are there any themes like in the previous games? nope. i promise you i’m not lying when i say that i tried hard to come up with something, even some speck of a detail i could use to over-analyse the story and come up with some ideas on themes. nothing. there are no themes. the subplots are character-driven and the player gives it 0 emotional investment. there is nothing to analyse, nothing to talk about. maybe even a theme for each level, like a spooky level or something? nope. the levels are dependent on eras and historical periods. the variation here is ok. Feudal Japan, Wild West, Prehistoric Australia, Medieval England and Ancient Arabia - pretty good selection. i’ll give them credit for it. but that’s it. due to the absence of themes, the hubs feel empty. there’s no replayability factor. after you collect the bottles and masks and treasures, there’s nothing. i would spend hours revisiting the trilogy’s hubs, just roaming around. the hubs here are huge and empty. there’s nothing to reminisce about. nothing to recall. oh that’s where this mission went down. no, nothing like that. the aforementioned subplots are resolved during mission cutscenes and then they’re gone. you don’t have to explore spooky Prague alone as Bentley to have him overcome his fears, you don’t have to find out miners abducted Murray’s beloved Guru and search the Australian outback for him, you don’t have to hold back your tears when you’ve reached the end of the Cooper Vault and Sly asks his dad for help. nothing.

Gameplay:

Controls: as soon as i laid my hands on the controller the first time i played the game, that fateful afternoon, i knew something was up. Sly would respond 1 second late after you pushed something on the controller. it felt clunky, is what i’m trying to say or, as my sister put it, it felt heavy. and she was right. the controls were clunky and heavy and didn’t feel light, like playing as a thief should feel. i don’t know shit about game mechanics but this definitely didn’t feel right. the hubs are also chunky in design, the cliffs are huge and so cyclical or hexagonal, that when you parachute your way to them and are just an inch close, Sly will automatically just drop because he can’t grab onto them. running as Sly doesn’t feel fast, silently obliterating guards from behind feels slow, and swinging, grabbing, pickpocketting, and hanging aren’t fun anymore. presentation-wise, @designraccoon goes into detail here, in an absolute gem of a post. in short, the gameplay animations make Sly look less sneaky. Sanzaru didn’t even consider a thief’s movements.

Missions: why the fuck would you remove the player’s option to choose between which mission to do first? why would you do that? the game lays out what goes first, sometimes having only one mission available in the hub. and the missions aren’t even enjoyable. firstly, the loading screens take up to 5 minutes, maybe even 7-8. secondly, there’s hacking every 2 missions. the missions don’t have any dialogue to make them fun, lack in interesting puzzles, what more can i say? they’re overly easy and lack any challenge whatsoever. at least there’s variation in gameplay (hacking, RC car, fishing, costumes, ancestors, turret etc.) but because of the controls, even these get tiresome. the missions are solely there to progress the story and that’s why the operations are merely ‘storm the main baddie’. the trilogy had some pretty interesting missions which made sure to complete jobs required to take down the big bad. e.g. kidnap General Clawfoot to take down the security, hack Contessa’s computer to make sure Carmelita will be freed, steal voices to tempt Neyla, and then take down the Contessa. the missions in Thieves in Time lack substance and variety. and the hacking (all three styles) sucks.

Collectibles: here’s another fantastic idea: have players collect costumes in order to collect bottles in order to collect treasures in order to collect masks in order to unlock funky Sanzaru logo-themed merch! what was the reason for the collectibles? in previous games, collecting all bottles would unlock special abilities. that was it. it’s the same thing here too, but there’s less incentive? i mean when you have to collect 1000 things, what’s the point? the treasures are random and very few are references to the trilogy, so whatever. and the masks unlock... superhero costumes for what reason exactly? oh, and then there’s also the achievements for your Playstation account, like ‘open the map in every single location you visit’. what fun! if the reason for collecting the treasures is to play godawful hacking minigames in order to get masks, what’s the point? decorate your paraglider with the Sanzaru logo? or have Bentley dress up as discount Robocop? i mean including masks in the interior locations was cool, but the bottles were always supposed to be something you could do whenever your soul desired. sometimes i left them last before the operation, sometimes i collected them before the first mission. so i was pissed when i found out that, in some cases, you had to unlock the episode’s costume in order to get the all the bottles. so, fuck off.

Animation: i’ll keep this short. the animation was terrible. do you remember that tumblr blog from a while back, where she dedicated the posts to pointing out the mistakes in the animated cutscenes? yeah. point is, there were lots of them. the animation style was bad, the character design was ugly, the characters’ movements were unnatural. everything about it was shit. looking past the bad decision to drop the trilogy’s comicbook-style animated cutscenes, couldn’t they have hired someone better? someone with more experience? their concept art was awesome. couldn’t they hire that guy and have it be comicbook style if he wasn’t trained in animation?

Legacy:

The Players: let me ask a genuine question: who was this game made for? kids growing up in 2013? maybe so. because it feels like Sanzaru didn’t even consider the fans of the trilogy. actually, it felt like a huge fuck you. Sucker Punch made their trilogy for whoever. there were great stuff for kids, but adults would pick up and appreciate the references, the real-life setting (e.g. tobacco use, existence of nightclubs, spice instead of drugs, etc.). that’s why all three games are timeless classics. judging by Thieves in Time’s humor, the game wasn’t targeted for adults. so, it doesn’t make sense to use an already established property, beloved by its fans, to attract a new audience consisting of nine year-olds who’d laugh at Murray dressing up as a woman. if they really wanted to appeal to the fans of the original, why retcon everything? why change who the first Cooper was? when the gang’s stranded in Saudi Arabia, why have Sly say ‘i couldn't remember a time since we've teamed up that we felt so defeated’? the gang’s been in way deeper shit before. why the ‘Sly’s dad vs Le Paradox’s dad’ deus ex machina? Sly’s dad wasn’t famous because of stealing the world’s largest diamond, what the fuck are you even talking about? do the guys at Sanzaru have such big egos and bravado that they needed to change the original games’ lore? were they so preoccupied with leaving their signature on a property which was never their own? i don’t know who needs to read this, but i’m stating FACTS.

Characters: now let’s talk about Sanzaru’s treatment of the Cooper gang and the ancestors (female characters will get their own section). why would you change the characters like that? if it wasn’t for the voice acting, i’d say this is a completely different Cooper gang. there’s no wise-cracking band of best friends, going on heists and being proud of their brotherhood and bond. all that is replaced with the formulaic story arcs for each member. the trilogy’s cutscenes and dialogues made sure to establish how Sly, Bentley and Murray have lived together since they met at the orphanage, play videogames all day and order chinese food and pizza and whatever. through missions and their adventures, they face obstacles they have to overcome as a gang, and when Sly 3 came around, their friendship was put to the ultimate test when they almost disbanded. Thieves in Time was too lazy to add to this. Sanzaru thought ‘oh the trilogy showed how they’re best friends so we might as well have them focus on their own stories separately’ and if this is truly the case then i ask again: who was this game made for? because new fans would never know how tight the gang was just by playing Thieves in Time. there’s a lack of genuine friendship moments. like, what happened when Sly came back after faking his amnesia? that’s completely ignored. where’s the witty banter? the ‘wizard & sitting duck’ type of jokes? nothing of the sort. what we get is fart jokes and Murray wanting to dress up as a woman. on that note, what was that all about? ok, have him dress up as a geisha to get in. fine. have El Jefe slap his ass, have him perform in a painfully lengthy dance sequence, have him dress like that during the rest of the episode, and then have him be persistent about getting the belly-dancing gig? the hell? Murray was always kinda goofy but this just feels kinda homophobic? it feels dragged out and unfunny. and then there’s the ancestors. i said it once before and i’ll say it again, Sanzaru deprived me of a buff Arab daddy Salim Al Kupar and gave us that elderly shit instead. all jokes aside, the redesigns were uninteresting. why take away Tennessee Kid’s facial hair and give it to Galleth? i legitimately think all the ancestors were boring. i mean, their gameplay was cool, especially Tennessee Kid’s guns, but in terms of character, they were just some dudes. did they believe that Sly was their descendant from the future? maybe. did they care? nope. they all had the same storyline of dealing with Sly’s arrival, flirting with Carmelita and getting their canes stolen. that was it. the fans waited for so long to get even a glimpse of the ancestors in action, and Sanzaru downplayed all of them. they reduced them to useless idiots too occupied with women and food, incapable of getting their canes back from stupid Le Paradox. and they didn’t even stick to the lore. no ma’am. let’s make Rioichi the inventor of sushi !! because that makes total sense and would defo fit in with the character and the property! why. just, why. you were handed the lore !!! you were given all this rich backstory and you threw it all away to replace it with trash !!! complete trash.

Changes & Inconsistency: i want to briefly mention some changes that pissed me off. where’s the laser glide move? it was an important turning point at the end of Sly 3, so why did they get rid of it? Sly is a master thief who’s traveling back in time, so you’d think they’d actually make him a master thief. also, the changes in the binocucom and Bentley’s slideshows in order to modernise them. if Sucker Punch managed to place the mission starting points at locations where the binocucom would show the objective clearly, so could Sanzaru. instead, they chose to have it be a moving camera, floating around the hub. and Bentley’s slideshows were absolute classics, opportunities to include gags and have Bentley show off in his own way. you just had to change it into a tablet, didn’t you. omg you’re still looking at small details like these? yes sweetie, i consider the details because i think they shape the game more than anything. if i didn’t consider the details, then my opinion on the game would be incomplete. when i praise the trilogy i don’t only look at story and gameplay. because i’m unbiased like that. here, i’d also like the mention Dimitri. what a fucking waste. you either include him in the game or you don’t. but don’t give me some half-baked shit on how he’s working for the gang back in present day. Dimitri staying home, waiting on the gang to call him in order for him to give them details on the villains. how does that even slightly resemble anything about Dimitri’s character? they didn’t even include his voice, some greasy sweet Raccoonus Doodus dialogue.

Female Characters: you know it’s all been leading up to this. this is the crux of the Thieves in Time hate. i don’t want to say the game is misogynistic so i’ll call it anti-feminist. why? just answer me. why? why did you have to disrespect Carmelita like that? right off the bat, they swapped the pants for the skirt. in what world does an active inspector who’s always on the scene wear a skirt? Carmelita now wears a skirt because her only role in the game is to be the love interest. Carmelita now wears bright red lipstick and has a new hairstyle, which would be ok if only it wasn’t Carmelita. Carmelita now plays up her inner sassy Latina because she’s pigeonholed into the ‘angry ex girlfriend’ role. they compartmentalised her, tried to sexualise her because she couldn’t possibly be one of the boys. nope. let’s take a respected woman, high in rank and as physically able as Sly, and turn her into a cliché, an angry ex girlfriend for comedic relief, strip her of her abilities and have her be kidnapped twice, have every exchange with her be about how attractive she is, have almost every male character in the game flirt with her, have her boyfriend be jealous of his own ancestors because they’re flirting with her in order to create purposeless love triangles, and then, after all that, dress her up as a belly dancer and distract some guards while the rest of the gang do the heavy lifting. that last one was really the nail on the coffin. did Bentley have other ways to enter that door? absolutely. so, what the fuck? why did i come back for a good Sly game 8 years later and receive a game where you have to shake your controller to have Carmelita shake her ass? why did they have the guards’ eyes pop like that? why did no one stop them? and it isn’t just Carmelita. it’s Penelope too. god forbid we have a female character who doesn’t have a waist smaller than my finger, and a voluptuous physique. why was the redesign so drastic? the story stuff is also nonsensical. why did she leave? wasn’t she happy with Bentley? i watched her speech about turning on the gang about a thousand times and it still doesn’t make any sense. like, i literally don’t understand. what was her motive? and why reverse her story of overcoming the Black Baron persona and the connotations of a meek woman hiding behind a man’s disguise? why repeat it, shamelessly? do the guys at Sanzaru only know women who have recently broken up? why does Carmelita, Penelope and Ms Decibel all go through break-ups during the game? why does Penelope go against Bentley before they even break up? why waste the opportunity to introduce a new, well-written villain and use it to repeat something already done? why???? no woman is safe from Sanzaru because Ms Decibel... boy, did i feel bad for her. apart from continuously reminding us that she’s haha fat!! she’s also presented as a blind lovefool. love? what a silly concept only women believe in! Ms Decibel had a crush on Le Paradox (for some reason i can’t even fathom) and for that she must pay by being utterly humiliated. and what do ALL women do when a guy breaks up with them? they get so angry! yikes, stay clear guys! ....why does Sanzaru hate female characters? i’m genuinely curious. i mean, what forced them to depict women like this? i’m sorry, i can’t take much more of this.

Ending: and how do you end a disappointment that came 8 years late and didn’t even have a sequel guaranteed? yeap, you guessed it! a cliffhanger. but not just any cliffhanger - a total fuck you to anyone and everyone. with a single move Sanzaru instantly screwed over the franchise. the fans, the creators, the characters, anyone looking to continue the series. everyone. WHY would you trap the protagonist in the past? WHY? did you feel defensive about something that wasn’t even yours and went ‘well you can continue the series but the sequel will have to do with time travel’. why did you think it was a good idea? how does it even slightly resemble a good ending? someone fill me in please. because i don’t think i’m being unreasonable, i’m just telling it how it is.

Conclusion:

i did it. i fucking wrote it in all its motherfucking glory. the idiots at Sanzaru could’ve given us an amazing game but instead of working on how to make it better or including extra levels, they wasted their time on deciding what killable baby animal to include in each hub or what the backstory for each treasure should be. how fucking distasteful. and to think i’m an idiot myself for trying to force myself to like it because i was so in denial about how bad it was. i’ve just outlined everything wrong with that cursed game. i’m exhausted.

#yOu'Re rEaLLy pEttY ! sOrRy hAd tO UnFoLLoW #i think i covered everything #THIS IS AN AMAZING ESSAY #this is the crown jewel of my time on tumblr #i love myself so much #sly cooper #anyone who even remotely comes for me because of this WILL get blocked #the birds really think i care about my rep on this fucking hellsite #HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

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star-gamerxox · 3 years

Text

Holiday Special 2020

(This takes place in a world where none of their written stories are canon, it’s a work where all shipkids exist. It also brings up their canon age-

This is 'Second Canon' although true canon fits in their actual stories.

I didn’t include any child partially done or that don’t have canon ages figured out to work with these babs-

I also won’t add Kai and Maelee.

Also I put a couple in development characters under the guise of pregnancy-

Most ship kids belong to me

Viri’s original design by @amarald

Picmlaoho belongs to me and @seertale )

“Merry Christmas!” A tiny body flopped on Nightmare and he let out a groan, wrapping his arms around his child.

“Hello baby. Where are all your siblings?” He asked and the child giggled more.

“Downstairs with papa!” The child, a very happy Aurora, bounced on Nightmares chest while he groaned.

“You are four, child, why are you like this?” He grumbled and his daughter squealed before deciding it was time to finally leave her dad alone.

“Don’t start presents without me!” He yelled out and aurora giggled. He groaned before his eyes widened.

“Shit… which kids are here this year? I know Cayda is here but… would Error even let EveFalcity here?” He groaned a bit before opening his door and going downstairs.

“But papaaaaaaa!” That was Pearl. She was the youngest of his kids, at 3 years old, but she didn’t remember Reaper, her biological papa.

“Nope. We gotta wait for your dad.” Killed hummed. EveFalcity wasn’t there but she was 16 now and he had hardly been in her life.

“Hey kiddos!” He called and Pearl stood and darted over.

“Daddy! Daddy! Presents!” She wasn’t his only child that only saw Christmas as gift time.

“Wait baby,” He hummed. Onyx grinned, laughing while Cayda and Cobalt simultaneously groaned.

“But daaaad.”

“Wait.” He chided yet again as he walked over to Killer and kissed his head. He loved his kids and he loved Killer. He just realized he had found his love for Killer much earlier in his life, although that would mean most of his kids wouldn’t even exist.

“Papa gets a present first.” He hummed and Killer smiled up at him.

“Oh?” He grinned

“Yep.” And then Nightmare got on one knee.

“No way!” Onyx sat forward and laughed. He was the oldest besides EveFalcity and yet not even he had seen his dad married. Killer nodded and Nightmare kissed him before sitting back a bit.

“Yes way.” Nightmare smiled as he slipped the ring onto Killer’s finger. They both reached to rub the almost invisible baby bump Killer had. They were both grinning widely.

“Now presents!?” Pearl whined and Nightmare turned before he started to laugh.

“Yea baby. Now presents.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross looked at Calypso through a slightly pained gaze. The boy was just a year or two older than his own son he had with Nightmare. It was a vivid reminder of the five years he spent apart from Dream after their fight. Dream had went to Killer while Cross had, admittedly, gone back to the only other home he knew. He had gone back to Nightmare.

But then he left his son there. Thinking about Cayda wasn’t a happy way to celebrate his Christmas though so he tried to focus on the ten year old that sparked those thoughts, Calypso.

“What’s up kiddo?” He asked. Calypso giggled more and hugged him.

“Morning Papa.” Calypso didn’t know Killer much but he did at least know him.

“Morning baby… were is your dad and siblings-“ he has that question answered for him as Dream ran in with their eldest two.

One thing that always stuck out was the fact that Calypso got none of the corruption that Dream had at the time of his birth. He also got none of the corruption his older siblings got.

“Daybreak! Toss it here!” Sunrise called and Dream laughed.

Dream wasn’t corrupted like that anymore but their eldest children were, which was a grave reminder of that time.

“Hey… where is Nelaya?” Cross asked suddenly.

“Hiding.” Daybreak said as he threw a wrapped item at his sister.

“Again?” Dream asked.

“She’s six. This is her first Christmas without Dust.” Sunrise mumbled. Dream sighed a bit and rubbed his head.

“I swear… my poor baby…” he rubbed his small baby bump before going to go find Nelaya.

“Baby… come on sweetheart… we can call him…” he called out until he heard a familiar sniffle.

“No! I wanna go home!” She whimpered.

“I know… I know…” he whispered quietly before slowly going closer to her and lifting her up.

“I wanna go home…” she whispered again and he bounced her a bit.

“I know… but for now this is your home… let’s go…” he mumbled as he walked back over to the others. The kids all moved to surround them and Nelaya managed a small smile.

“Presents?” She spoke up and Cross started to laugh softly. He gently placed his only picture of Cayda in his pocket as they went to the tree.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Evelyn shhhhh!”

‘I can’t talk! How can I make as much noise as you!?’

“Just shush!”

‘You’re the only one making noise, Dawning!’

“Quiettttt!”

“I hear two little eleven year olds trying to sneak presents at 6am while our parents are asleep.” A warm voice was heard.

‘EveFalcity!’ Evelyn darted away from her twin and tackled her eldest sister.

“Heya kiddo. Let’s not do presents now. Viri will be very upset if she finds out you did this without her.” EveFalcity sighed.

“Well… what about Syntax?” She hummed.

“He comes at one. Currently he’s at his dads.” She picked up Evelyn and threw her over her shoulder.

“Let’s go find our brother.” She hummed and Evelyn cheered. Picmlaoho was still asleep in his bed. Evelyn and Dawning moved to lay in their beds

“Morning kids!” Ink chirped as he threw open the door, holding the two year old Viri on his hip.

“Morning dad…” Picmlaoho mumbled as he rubbed his eyes and sat up. Evelyn decided to roll off the bed and Dawning laughed.

“Chri-mas! Chri-mas!” Viri chirped from her spot in her dad’s arms.

“Yep.” Dawning reached for her baby sister who squealed and made grabby hands for Dawning. She stood and took her sister from Ink before laughing as Evelyn rolled on the floor.

“Seriously?” Error walked over and rolled his eyes before lifting up Evelyn and Pic, since both were small, and walking downstairs. The laughs of the eldest child were heard in the hall and Ink threw an arm around Dawning before going downstairs.

Error had finished making breakfast as the kids did stockings. Viri came in waving around a very small teddy bear. Dawning, Evelyn, and Picmlaoho all had matching bracelets. EveFalcity’s big stocking gift stuck out compared to her siblings. A beautiful necklace with a moon charm.

“I saw that Night sent a gift and you put it under the tree… that’s new.” EveFalcity spoke up as she sat down for the meal.

“He wants to be in your life… he has for years. He usually sends you a gift but he sent you two and he sent you that necklace.” Error hummed and she smiled a bit.

“Well that’s nice… maybe I can see him tomorrow?”

“He’s still your parent Eve. Of course you can. He has other kids now. He’s realized a whole lot about himself over the past years. He really wants to be in your life… he really does.” He smiled and EveFalcity rested her head on the table and looked at her necklace.

“Thanks Nightmare…”

“He really does care about her, huh?” Ink smiled as he watched his kids unwrap their presents. Somehow Viri now had a bow on her skull and Evelyn had somehow put one in her right eye. EveFalcity was resting peacefully on the couch, looking at the gifts from Night, Ink, and Error.

“He always has Ink, it’s just, he was scared when she was born. That was 16 years ago and our lives have changed a lot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Daaaaaaaaaad. Come onnnnn! I gotta go to papa and Ink’s place at one!” Syntax bounced around a bit despite being almost as old as his elder brother Zenai.

“Yea, yea. Ze, go get Elliot and Azalea.” Blue hummed and Zenai nodded before hurrying off. Elliot was four and Azalea was already almost eight.

“Elli. Come here bubba.” Zenai grinned. He was Dusts son but for a lot of his sixteen years, it had just been him and his dad. His dad had dated others, that’s how Syntax came along, but then Blue met Red. Red came with his daughter, Azalea, who was two at the time.

No matter how much Blue loved his husband, he openly would admit he would have stayed with Dust if the other hadn’t flat out disappeared. Zenai loved his step dad and his younger siblings though, that never changed. He just missed Dust.

“Zalea! Come on!” He called the girl over and she grinned. She poked the still half asleep Elliot and the child whined loudly.

“Okay! After breakfast we’ll do gifts and stockings. At noon, Syntax gets to go to Errors so he gets to celebrate Christmas at both of his homes!” Blue always looked tired but Zenai was impressed how excited he seemed for this holiday. He did it every year and Zenai was always impressed with his dad because he had been like this since the year Dust left.

“Yay! Waffles!” Suddenly Azalea was standing on her chair and nearly jumping off it. Even without being biologically related to Blue, she somehow got his crazy energy,

“Yep. Waffles. Although you better be careful princess or there won’t be waffles for Christmas, it’ll be a trip to the emergency room for Christmas.” Red hummed as he walked over.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Zenai hummed and Blue snorted.

“You were a very chaotic child.” Blue responded cooly.

“No. I meant that it wouldn’t be the first time for Azalea. Remember when she was four? She was trying to get her stocking down using Elliot’s bouncy chair. She bounced straight into the fire and we spent Christmas in the burn wing with a sobbing two month old. We all already know I spent many Christmas’ getting a cast put on some broken limb.” Zenai hummed as he ate breakfast.

“I have no clue how your girlfriend handles you.” Syntax hummed.

“Well you’ll see her at Error’s, why don’t you ask her for me?” He grinned and Syntax shot him a glare.

“Just because you grew up with my big sister doesn’t make this any less awkward. You’re my big brother and EveFalcity is my big sister. Even if you two don’t have any family relation, it’s strange for me.” He stuck out his tongue and Zenai laughed.

“Yea, yea. Come on. Presents.” Somehow the younger two were finished. Zenai was mostly finished and Syntax was too.

“Yay!” Azalea ran ahead and Zenai laughed.

“Be careful!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bryin groaned and flopped on his back.

“When can we start?” He mumbled. It was already noon and his presents were mocking him.

“When Pandora gets here. The Foster place was very iffy about letting her spend Christmas here. We said around lunch.” Spoop, Bryin’s younger half brother, mumbled. Bryin didn’t hate Spoop but he definitely didn’t like him either. His parents had been separated for a couple years when they finally got back together. Horror came back with two toddlers and, sadly, the elder twin- Rye- died in a car crash a month later with his biological dad. Spoop didn’t remember either of them.

“She’s your friend, go get her.” Bryin glared and his six year old, younger, brother held up his hands.

“Im six, not a miracle worker!” He yelped and Bryin groaned.

“Kids! Guess who’s here!” Lust yelled from downstairs and Bryin ran down.

“Finally!” He laughed. Pandora was a skinnier girl with super tiny wings. She was seven, a year older than Spoop, and she had lost her parents about 6 months ago. Somehow Spoop and Pandora had convinced their parents and her foster parents to let her stay the day here. At their House. On Christmas.

The older brother wasn’t amused by Spoops plans.he was eight by now, almost nine, and he was supposed to get his first tablet this year. That wasn’t happening now. They could afford a tablet and gifts for Pandora.

Or so he thought.

Bryin had come to terms with the fact he wouldn’t get his long awaited gift. He didn’t blame Pandora, or Spoop.

Spoop and Pandora were finished with their presents and Bryin stared at his final one, a bit confused. As he opened it, his eyes lit up.

“No way…” he looked up at his parents. “How?”

“Well… I know you wanted a tablet to help you play games and we didn’t wanna take that away from you… so I picked up extra shifts at the restaurant and Horror did some extra odd jobs.” Lust smiled and Bryin lit up. He moved to hug Lust who just grinned and spun his son around.

“Thank you Daddy! Thank you so much!” Bryin nearly cried and Lust just smiled.

“Of course baby… of course.” He whispered as Horror moved to join the hug, surrounding his love and their eldest child.

“Of course.” Horror’s voice was more raspy but it always made Bryin smile, just as the boy was now. Both parents moved slightly when Spoop wanted to join, letting him in. They even encouraged Pandora to be part of a family hug.

“You’re the best…” Bryin whispered and, as if sharing a brain wave, Horror and Lust smiled.

“No you are… all three of you.” They whispered, almost in unison.

What a good Christmas this turned out to be.

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nickyvmlp · 6 years

Text

My Top 10 Characters I Want in Smash Ultimate

I got a couple of requests for this in my last Smash reaction video, and I didn’t want to make it a full video, so it’ll go here, HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (Also, none of my top 10 need to be echo fighters, but I’ll throw in a few echos near the end.)

10) Alex Roivas from Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem

This will not happen, especially with Simon and Richter filling the horror game niche, but I can dream, darnit. For the unaware, Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem was a 2002 GameCube exclusive psychological horror game; it’s basically Resident Evil meets Call of Cthulhu, and it’s my favorite horror game of all time. In the game, you play as Alex Roivas, a few of her ancestors, and few other schmucks across history unfortunate enough to stumble across an ancient book called the Tome of Eternal Darkness, which drags them into a conflict that could destroy the world. Alex ends up using the knowledge she’s learned from the Tome to stop the rise of three ancient deities, each bent on world domination. So in Smash, she could have the Tome at her disposal and could even carry it into battle like Robin does. Her standard attacks can involve normal weaponry she uses like guns and knives and stuff, while her special attacks can all involve using the Tome to summon something. For her Final Smash, she can hit everyone in a set radius around her with a huge sanity effect that adds 100% damage and breaks the shield of anyone caught in it, leaving them wide open for a heavy attack and a KO. Plus, more strong female Smash characters, never a bad thing.

9) Decidueye from Pokemon

Every Smash game has a new Pokemon rep, and there’s quite for few on the rumor mill. Gardevoir and Gothitelle get brought up a lot, but they’d draw a lot of comparisons to (and may end up being an EF to) Mewtwo, especially in Gardevoir’s case. They could also throw in a currently unannounced Pokemon from Gen 8 with that being right around the corner. But, Decidueye makes the most sense to me. It’s got a cool design and there aren’t many characters that uses arrows in their arsenal, basically just the Links and Pit. Plus, his Flying type would give him really strong recovery, most comparable to Charizard’s. For his Final Smash, give him Zelda’s FS from Brawl, a giant arrow that KO’s everyone in a straight line.

8) The Eeveelutions from Pokemon

If you like Pokemon, odds are good that you like at least one of the Eeveelutions. Espeon’s my favorite Pokemon ever, and Jolteon, Umbreon, and Sylveon are up there too. And there’s eight Eeveelutions at the moment (not counting Eevee) and eight alternate costume spots for each character, so here’s what I’m thinking. You reveal the Eeveelutions in the next Direct, and put up a poll on the Smash website: Who is your favorite Eeveelution? The winner of the poll is the default character, while everyone else are the alt costumes. This does mean that the Eeveelutions will have to be virtually identical, but that shouldn’t be too hard, a Flamethrower can look like a Hydro Pump, a Thunderbolt, a Psyshock, etc. with some small cosmetic changes. And their Final Smash could either be similar to Mega Man’s where everyone joins in for a giant combined attack, or if you wanna get cartoony, have them get into a big dust cloud fight with other Eeveelutions joining in before the victim gets launched offscreen by it. Plus with Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee coming soon, it’s a great time to give Eevee’s family some love

7) Black Shadow from F-Zero

You know me, I love F-Zero GX more than I love three square meals a day, and at the moment, there’s barely any Smash representation for the GREATEST RACING GAME OF ALL TIME, so let’s change that. Samurai Goroh is already an Assist Trophy, so how about Falcon’s other main rival, Black Shadow? Taking a quick look at him, he’s obviously a big, strong character which makes him well-equipped to be in a fighting game. But taking a second look at him will make you chuckle, because he’s kinda goofy looking. He’s wearing a full-body black spandex suit, with bull horns, cloven feet, and a cape. Yea, he’s a sadistic monster in the games and the anime, but still he’s a little hard to take seriously. And that can work in his advantage. In Nintendo Directs, they like to use villains that you can kinda take the piss out of in certain places, like Dedede, Wario, and surely in the future, K. Rool. Black Shadow can exist in a similar role, and maybe the four can form some evil alliance if they decide to make Subspace Emissary 2. (Please make Subspace Emissary 2.) His Final Smash can be identical to Falcon’s, hit your opponent with the Black Bull, works just fine. Plus, maybe a new F-Zero character could build hype for a new game in the series? Please?

6) Paper Mario

I’m not sure why some people want Paper Mario to be Mario’s EF? Wasn’t the point of Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam to show how different those two are? Anyway, Paper Mario has a bevy of ways to attack that would help him stand apart from his 3-dimensional counterpart. His standard attack can involve his hammer (which Mario doesn’t have), with the directional standards involving various badges like the Hammer Throw and the Ice Smash. His special attacks can use his various buddies. Parakarry can be his recovery, Vivian can be a Down-B defense tool, you could even use Thoreau as his throwing mechanic. And the final Smash could involve one of the realistic items from the new games, like the electric fan blowing all the opponents offscreen. I don’t know much about the newer games, they didn’t look as good.

5) Shadow the Hedgehog

This is another one that COULD be an Echo Fighter, but Shadow plays pretty differently to Sonic in their games. He skates instead of runs, he uses weapons whereas Sonic just uses his speed, Shadow has a FUCKING GUN, there’s plenty that you can do with Shadow to separate him from Sonic. Particularly involving his Final Smash, Chaos Control. When it’s used, everyone on screen freezes for ten seconds. In that time, Shadow can use one heavy attack after another after another, and when the time runs out, all the damage and force from those attacks hit at once, and that character will go flying. It’d be kinda like Link’s Stasis from Breath of the Wild (which should be Link’s FS, but oh well)

4) Spring Man from Arms

So, Arms wasn’t as big of a hit as people were hoping. That’s a bummer, it looks like a fun game. How about we give it one last shot in the arm (teehee) to try to boost its exposure? Put Spring Man in the game, and have him focus on long-range attacks and throws. His recovery can be a long whip that grabs ledges like Olimar’s. And for his Final Smash, give him a big winding tornado throw that KOs whoever he grabs and damages anyone who gets hit by the swinging arms in the process. Show what he can do in Smash, and maybe it’ll entice people to see what he can do in Arms. I just want that game to be successful.

3) Rayman

I was shocked that Rayman didn’t get into Smash WiiU, since it seems like Nintendo and Ubisoft have been on great terms for a long time, like how Rayman Origins and Legends ended up on Nintendo consoles when it had almost no third-party support. Rayman even had a trophy in WiiU, so it was really surprising to me that he wasn’t one of the DLC characters. Let’s fix that. His unattached limbs would give him some good range, he’d have some magic that he could use at his disposal for special attacks. And for his Final Smash, how about summoning a swarm of mosquitoes to fly across the screen, doing massive damage with each hit, like a super-powered version of the Beedrills from Smash 64?

2) Geno from Super Mario RPG

I’m not a huge Final Fantasy guy, but I’m so glad Cloud got into Smash WiiU/3DS, because it throws the door wide open for other Square characters. A lot of people think this will lead to Sora from Kingdom Hearts getting in (doubtful), but I want Geno to finally get in. He did get an outfit for the Mii Gunner in the last game, but seeing him actually in Smash, not just as a Mii, would be so great. Mario RPG is criminally underrated, and it laid the groundwork for the Paper Mario and the Mario & Luigi games. He’d, of course, be a long range fighter, using his finger cannons as his main attacks, and for his Final Smash: the Geno Flash, which would be like a combination of Pit’s and Jigglypuff’s FS. You’d go offscreen and aim a point on the map. From that epicenter, a giant blast grows, trapping and damaging anyone who gets in the blast radius, before launching those victims off the stage.

Honorable Mentions (Echo Fighters)

Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat brought Funky Kong back into the fold, and he’s got a very similar body type to Donkey Kong, so that makes perfect sense to me.

Hyrule Warriors could use a representative, and since Midna’s already an Assist Trophy, how about Impa? She’s got a great look and could borrow Sheik’s moveset quite well.

I never bought Wart as an Echo Fighter, since the characters he was usually attached to (Bowser or Dedede) didn’t feel similar enough. But K. Rool, on the other hand, fits just right. K. Rool looks like a caricature of Wart.

People seem to like Xenoblade Chronicles 2, so let’s add to the Xenoblade cast in Smash. I don’t know a lot about Rex, besides his goofy pants, but I’m sure he’d be a great fit.

This might seem odd, but how about Andy from Advance Wars as an Echo to Bowser Jr.? Andy could ride in a tank and shoot projectiles while using the turret as a short-range melee attack? Could work.

1) Sans and Papyrus from Undertale

No, but could you imagine?

1) Crash and Coco Bandicoot

This would be the kind of Internet breaking character that you put as the last character added to give one final hype boost to the already unstoppable Smash hype train. The N. Sane Trilogy is already out on Switch, so the publishers already have their foot in the door, so let’s just go for it. And as an added bonus, you could announce Coco Bandicoot at the same time (like Simon and Richter) for added excitement. (I would absolutely main as Coco.) Their standard attacks could revolve around their spin attacks, while their specials would involve using their various powerups like the fruit bazooka and the belly flop. And the Final Smash would involve using Aku Aku to turn invincible for a brief time. Yes, they’re kinda doing away with that kind of FS, maybe they could make a cutscene out of it and cause an instant KO or something. I don’t know, just gimme Crash in Smash, please.

#super smash ultimate #smash characters

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weannoyingbouquetgalaxy-blog1 · 6 years

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Amherst Junction Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54407

"Amherst Junction Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54407

Amherst Junction Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54407

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I'm about to get my license, how much is it to add me (16) to my parents car insurance? Don't give me anything like, It's different for everyone. I know. Just tell me what you are paying, or what you used to pay.""

Where can I find the cheapest possible car insurance?

I'm getting my first car which is pretty crappy and cheap (<$5000) so I don't want to spend that much on insurance. Where can I look to find the *cheapest* liability coverage. I don't think the major insurance companies have very low rates so I'm looking for lesser known ones.

Car Insurance - What kind of coverage is needed for an Occasional Driver...?

Okay, this is the deal, I have full coverage car insurance. This means that the insurance will cover me, if I have an accident that is my fault or if someone else hits me & it's not my fault. I also have insurance that covers me if someone breaks into my car & steals any kind of important items in my car. The Question... I sometimes let other people drive my car, to run errands for me (like driving my car home, cause I'm too sleepy to drive or I'm super busy & need an item from the store & I hand my keys to a licensed driver). I talked to my insurance company & was told they do not have coverage that will cover other drivers unless they are listed under my coverage. The problem - I don't want to list everybody in my family or all my friends. Isn't there insurance coverage that will cover anybody driving my vihecle as long as they are older than 25 & has a valid license? If so, what's the name of this type coverage - I nd to know the name b4 I call other companys. thanks""

What is a good and affordable selection of health/dental insurance?

Anyone have experience with Western and Southern life insurance co.?

I am looking to purchase term insurance

With pretty good insurance what would the average cost to have?

a hospital monitor my heart over night? I have been having chest pains and went and got a EKG done my doctor said he thinks I am fine I may have just pulled a muscle. But I am having shortness of breathe and my chest has been just a little sore for over week and a half.

Amherst Junction Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54407

How much would car insurance cost for a 17 year old girl?

I am 17 I live in New Mexico it is April 2013 and I am financing new 2013 Chevrolet Cruze LS I will be put on my grandmothers Allstate car insurance.. how much would the monthly payment be???

""Rear-ended, can I ask car insurance to compensate for inconvenience of not having a car?""

Got rear-ended in NJ by a woman and my car was determined a total loss. Her car insurance took over a week to come to a decision that they would take 100% liability for the accident. They made me an offer for the dollar amount of value of the car which was honestly more than what I thought the value was going to be. I have 2 questions... Can I ask for compensation for the inconvenience of not having a vehicle during the time that they were making their decision? And two, I went to the hospital after the accident but haven't received the bills from that yet. If I accept their offer for the damage done to the car can I still get reimbursed for my medical bills later?""

Vw r32 any idea on insurance?

hi i am 23 year old female with 2 years no claims. just lookign for a very rough idea of costs to insure an r32, any similar ppl can tell me? thanks""

What is the cheapest car insurance you can get for young drivers?

What would be insurance on a Sentra SER/Spec?

I'm 16 and looking for a car. Im not getting this car, I just want to know. Ok, so I have no accidents or tickets and a B average student or higher. I'm a safe driver and everything. How much would it be for 6 Months?""

Car insurance question?

Can I switch insurance agents within the same company if the insurance plan I have is still in my dad's name? I'm the one making payments now, and I need an agent that lives closer to me...also, the car title isn't in my name yet- does that matter when switching agents?""

Dental Insurance Question - The Real Scoop?

While I am employed, I work at home for a company in another state, and the dental insurance options through my company were not viable. So, of course, I relied on the internet to research my options, and I looked, specifically, for dental insurance Lo and Behold, the stuff that came up, was for Dental Discount Plans. Upon first glance, it seemed like this could actually have been a better deal then anything offered through my firm. The conversation on the websites touted these plans, often with premiums of $7 to $20 per month, to be better than conventional dental insurance in every imaginable way. No issues in applying, no maximums, no deductibles, and no waiting. So, I am sitting here, reading how in EVERY possible way this is better than insurance, and it strikes me. If something seems to good to be true, maybe it is. If these were so much better than conventional insurance, why did my firm have so much trouble finding affordable insurance; they should have simply joined one of these discount programs. Well, the site even attached me to an independent article which BASHED the conventional insurance...Then it struck me...If I was a dentist, would I be happy joining these discount plans and basically getting 50% to 75% less for my services. Yeah Yeah, I am getting my payment up front and not waiting for the insurance to pay me (again, playing the role of the dentist), but is that worth the tremendously discounted amount (does not make sense when you compare the time value of money). So, I realized that if I were a dentist, I would not want anything to do with these plans...Or would I? Does being a part of these discount programs really bring in enough clients to justify that deep a cut in the fee schedule. Then I started to think...Is it possible that there is something up with these deeply discounted fee schedules I keep seeing on these sites? Are the fees just being jacked up and then discounted back down to the point where I might as well not be a member of the Discount Program, and just a regular walk in? Can I go to a dentist and ask them for the fee schedule, and then after the fact, compare it to the discount program to see that I am really getting a discount, and it is not some number playing farce. I would want to know as a dentist whether these discount programs are worth anything. I need some kind of coverage, and for the few self insurance programs I see, the monthly premiums are incredibly high, and yes, when compared to the discount programs, it seems like NO ONE would EVER join these insurance programs since they are more limited and more expensive...Yet....They are still in the insurance business. Will someone please give me the scoop...I need to have an affordable option here, but don't want to be duped into joining one of these discount programs. Thank You""

No insurance on car used to drive child around in?

How can one go about handling the possibility that a child's non-custodial parent is driving their child in a car with no insurance. Recently, a friend of mine told me that if a parent has a car accident and a child in injured in a car with no car insurance, medical insurance won't cover expenses. Is this true? If it is, how do you suggest the custodial parent go about asking for proof of insurance from the other parent. The parents don't get along very well, and the non-custodial parent doesn't like to talk details with the other parent, even when she tries. My only thought was for her to give him notice of this policy and should something ever happen, try to hold him responsible for all expenses. Still, this does not handle the safety issue at hand. Any ideas? Simply asking the non-custodial parent to show proof would not work. His style would be I don't have to show you anything.""

Insurance For My Daughters Scooter?

My 16 yr old daughter is being stupidly high prices for her scooter insurance - she has a 49cc and has past her CBT test. can anyone suggest a company who specialise in young riders ?

How much more does insurance for a left hand drive vehicle cost in the UK?

If I bought a left hand drive VW camper and insured it I the UK, would it be more expensive than a right hand drive one? Or just answer if you know how much more it costs for and left hand drive vehicle in the uk?""

What records are checked when deciding car insurance rates besides DMV/Previous insurance????...?

I know that there are many factors when car insurance is decided.. I understand the thing with age, sex, previous evidence that you are risk factor more accidents... however I was wondering because I have gotten into accidents when I had no insurance/the other person only had my name.. since this was all they had, was it till recorded somewhere, will this affect my future rates????...""

Used car insurance?

If you get insurance for a used car, will they still fix your windsheild?""

Is my car insurance expensive?

I have a 2008 Passat and my husband has a 2010 Nissan Sentra. We have used the same car insurance co for years and know the owners/agents well. Before I was paying $255 for my 2003 Jetta and the Nissan and now it shot way up to $283. My husband has some tickets from the past,out of state. And my driving record is so far good. Are we paying too much? Absolutely NO spam or advertisements allowed!""

Insurance: Average yearly mileage exceeded?

When I brought my car insurance (after being without a car for many years), one of the questions was average yearly mileage , I input 12,000 thinking that that figure was ...show more""

Where can i find a Low Car Insurance Rate?

Where can i find a Low Car Insurance Rate i have 2000 Toyota

Were we can apply and buy liability insurance?

We are managing 300 units condominium.What approximately liability insurance will cost?

How can I receive free or low price health insurance ?

I am 21 and a type 1 diabetic ... My father recently got laid off so I do not have insurance anymore I tried to apply online for free medi-cal but it says I have to have at least 1 pregnant person on my application... I'm running out of insulin and need to insurance ASAP. Can anyone help me with any advice or where to apply for free or low price health insurance I only make 600 a month

Will my insurance go up when someone hits me?

I was driving on the highway, suddenly traffic slows down and we were driving at regular speed (65). i check my side mirror's, and the next thing i know my brand new car has no bumper. some idiot did not pay attention and he hit me. total repair is $1538. now, will his insurance call my insurance and let them know about it? will my insurance rates rise even though its not my fault?""

Where is the best place to get an auto insurance quote?

Where can I get a free auto insurance quote?

EMPLOYER INSURANCE VS OUTSIDE INSURANCE?

I work for a company that provides insurance through Health-net. Since the rates aren't that great (ya, what a surprise for Hyundai) I was wondering if could I deny the company insurance and just go with an outside provider? Or if I half to take what ever my company provides me.""

What's the cheapest car insurance?

& are add-on cars cheaper than the main car?

Car insurance question following dui arrest?

If you were arrested in 2009 for dui and your case was dismissed :1) will your insurance rates go up once insurance company sees you were arrested (it's now 2012 and rates never went up but is this because insurance company never noticed the arrest record?). I would like to get a new car but when I am renewing insurance, it will ask if I ever had a dui. How do I answer this? Can I say no if the case was dismissed? Will I have to wait for 5 years to pass since I was arrested? I know it was a stupid thing to do but any advice would be appreciated.""

Im 18 how much would insurance be on a 2006 330 i bmw?

Buying it

What is full auto coverage in California?

I have a new 2010 Smart Fortwo that I am financing. What is considered full coverage in the state of California? In other words, what are the main components of the insurance that I need, and what can I do without? Please help, I need an answer quick...""

How much does insurance cost for a 17 year old on a kawasaki ninja 250?

please don't tell me to go to an online calculator or quote site.

Amherst Junction Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54407

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/life-insurance-online-quote-uk-carl-richardson"

0 notes

rollinbrigittenv8 · 7 years

Text

Business of Pajamas, Pillows and Bragging Rights on Airplanes

The UK firm Matrix helped British Airways source new bedding from the White Co. for its premium cabins. One problem with the better bedding: Passengers are more likely to steal it. British Airways

Skift Take: What we learned from this story: Jessica Alba is one reason airlines improved pajama quality, and passengers steal pillows and blankets from airplanes. Plus, not everyone is sure why airlines give premium passengers amenity kits on every long-haul flight.

— Brian Sumers

Editor’s note: This series, called Airline Insiders, introduces readers to behind-the-scenes decision-makers for airlines. Unlike our ongoing airline CEO series, Future of the Passenger Experience, we will not question the highest-ranking executives here. Instead, we will speak with insiders who guide decisions on airline operations, networks, marketing and the passenger experience.

Today, in the first installment of the series, we speak to one of the world’s foremost experts on airline pajamas and amenity kits.

If you like wearing airline-branded pajamas in first and business class on major international airlines, you might want to thank film actor Jessica Alba.

Flying British Airways first class in 2012, Alba and her friend, Kelly Sawyer, tweeted a picture of themselves grinning and wearing matching blue pajamas handed out by the airline. The next day, the Daily Mail posted the picture in a story.

This was a seminal moment in airplane pajamas, said Harry Zalk, director of airline and beauty at Matrix, a London firm that matches luxury brands seeking partnerships with airlines. Once, he said, some airlines viewed pajamas as a perk they needed for premium customers, but one for which they could buy the cheapest product.

But the Alba tweet — and the thousands of similar Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook mentions that would come later from celebrities and regular people — changed the calculation. More luxury brands became interested in working with carriers, and many airlines no longer wanted the cheapest price. Instead, they wanted something passengers would brag about.

We spoke recently with Zalk at a conference in London, and learned his firm works with high-end brands, and helps them make a proposition to an airline. Matrix recently helped The White Co., a major UK retailer, secure a deal with British Airways to provide bedding and amenity kits for all long-haul business class cabins by next year. Matrix has also curated onboard products for Emirates and Singapore Airlines.

Note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Skift: What’s Matrix?

Harry Zalk: We call ourselves a design and sourcing agency, with a very strong business category within the airline industry. That would be supplying global top 20 airlines with amenity kits, bedding and soft products, and sleep-suit products.

Skift: That’s what we call pajamas?

Zalk: Actually we call it a pajama, too. Weirdly, the airline industry calls them sleep suits.

Harry Zalk

Skift: How many airlines do you work with?

Zalk: We work with around eight airlines currently in Asia, the Middle East, Europe, and Australia. We are in conversations with the three big American airlines.

Skift: What’s the onboard amenity kit and pajamas market worth globally?

Zalk: I would guess that soft products and amenities and pajamas, as we are going to call them, must be worth somewhere in the region of half a billion dollars.

Skift: What does an average airline spend on each business class amenity kit?

Zalk: It’s difficult to say because there are big continental differences. I would say that what you would consider more of a five-star airline might spend anywhere from $5 to $8 or $9. A larger carrier with a different model, such as American or European airlines, might reduce that business class spend to $3 to $5.

Skift: A lot of airlines partner with popular brands for kits. Why does a brand want in?

Zalk: From a brand’s perspective, this is what we would consider the holy grail of reciprocal marketing. You have this fantastic opportunity where an airline is looking to leverage its marketing platform, which is ultimately business and first class passengers, in exchange for elevating the brand proposition. There are more brands that would want to do it than there are airlines in the world. Airlines do not struggle to find partners. Which airlines are the strongest? Obviously you go down the Skytrax ratings, and you’re going to find the guys who are higher up there are more desirable — Emirates, Qatar, these guys.

The American airlines are pretty popular. The challenge with the American airlines is their budgets are smaller. What you can create from a branded point of view is sometimes not of the same value. But I think you’ll find that any good long-haul carrier has a pretty desirable partnership opportunity.

Skift: Almost a year and a half ago, United struck a deal with Saks Fifth Avenue for the retailer to provide the airline’s Polaris class bedding. Then in April 2017, security officers in Chicago removed a customer from a flight and beat him. Are viral events like this dissuading brands?

Zalk: It’s a moment in time. We assume that in a year’s time this is going to wash out and to a certain degree the press will leave airlines alone again. Will it have a negative impact on an airline’s ability to form brand partnerships? Who is to know? My guess is that it might, a little bit. But people have relatively short memories. As long as it is out of the press and the [airline] can demonstrate that it has overcome these issues, I think those partnerships are still very attractive.

Skift: Is the stuff in an amenity kit the same as in stores?

Zalk: It’s [almost always] the exact same product. There might be an odd situation where they have to change an ingredient because of a local regulation, for example. Not every ingredient is approved for every market. But generally speaking it’s retail product.

Skift: But that isn’t the case for hotels, right?

Zalk: It’s not a secret within the industry. There are certain beauty brands who are able to put retail formulations into the hotel environment, but it’s a very rare thing. Normally a beauty brand that does a hotel amenity range doesn’t have the products you need in a hotel within their range. Maybe they’re a fashion brand. They don’t do shampoo. They don’t do conditioner. They are ultimately creating marketing products to go into that hotel environment. I would say 90 percent of airline products are retail formulations. It’s a particularly important customer category that the beauty brand is looking to target and therefore having an authentic experience of the brand is important.

Skift: What about the amenity kit pouches? American Airlines says its bags are Cole Haan. Are they?

Zalk: Where we need to be more realistic is the bag. A luxury Italian fashion house is going to going to put out a $600, $700 or $800 real leather bag, and the bag that you are going to receive is being bought for a minute fraction of that. It’s not going to be genuine leather. It’s probably more comparable to what we call gift-with-purchase. If you buy a luxury fragrance in duty free and you spend $100, maybe you get a little Prada cosmetics pouch.

Skift: What’s the point of these kits? I have everything I need in my bathroom. I can just bring it on my trip.

Zalk: That’s a huge question. It is a question that we as a business have been asking for a number of years. The issue is that the passenger expects them — they have received one now for 25 years — and taking something away from the experience without replacing it can become a challenge.

The good kits are still considered very much an essential item. I have traveled Emirates business a few times. You could genuinely go on a three-day trip to Dubai on business and not take your own cosmetics bag. They have a razor. They have shaving foam, moisturizer, deodorant, mouthwash, toothbrush and toothpaste.

I think some of the higher volume, lower spend kits are really a little thank you gift. My question to the industry would be, does every passenger need one every time?

Skift: What does an airline spend on a sleep suit?

Zalk: Because the sleep suit is a big item, and because commonly the entire product — or at least a good percentage — is a natural fiber, in cotton, they often spend more on that per customer than on an amenity kit. Some airlines will spend as little as $4 or $5, and other airlines will spend $10. It depends on the quality.

We’ve done a lot of research with top-tier customers to identify what they feel is a very important part of their journey. The pajama comes very high on their list. Obviously it’s a very privileged class of passengers that gets pajamas. But it’s integral to the sleep experience. You can spend all the money in the world on your blanket and your duvet, and your pillow. But the thing that cocoons you the most in your little sleep world on this aircraft where you’re trying to get eight hours sleep in an impossible environment — the thing that touches you the most — is your sleep suit.

Skift: What about pillows and blankets? They’re important too, right?

Zalk: We have just launched a large project with the British Airways and the White Co. The White Co. is famous for their sleep experience. British Airways is trying to deliver the best sleep in the sky. They are putting on a retail pillow. This is not a made-for-airline pillow. If you travel in British Airways business class, you get a genuine retail pillow on your flight. You then get a really good quality duvet and a fantastic quality sheet. It becomes a genuine sleep experience. This is a trend we have seen with United Polaris and a few other airlines.

Skift: After United improved its bedding, people started stealing it. The airline even asked flight attendants to make an announcement asking passengers to leave the stuff on board. Is pilferage a problem?

Zalk: Yea, absolutely. For a supplier, that’s not the worst thing in the world because the more that gets stolen, the more you have to make. We, with British Airways, know that more of this stuff is going to walk off the plane than it did before. But this is all about customer experience. It’s all abut improving their brand positioning within a very competitive industry. When you do make such large improvements to physical products, inevitably some of them are going to walk off the plane. But they’re walking off the plane even when they’re bad.

Skift: Really?

Zalk: Yea. Amazingly, people like to steal free stuff. Who knew?

0 notes

touristguidebuzz · 7 years

Text

Business of Pajamas, Pillows and Bragging Rights on Airplanes

The UK firm Matrix helped British Airways source new bedding from the White Co. for its premium cabins. One problem with the better bedding: Passengers are more likely to steal it. British Airways

— Brian Sumers

Today, in the first installment of the series, we speak to one of the world’s foremost experts on airline pajamas and amenity kits.

If you like wearing airline-branded pajamas in first and business class on major international airlines, you might want to thank film actor Jessica Alba.

Note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Skift: What’s Matrix?

Skift: That’s what we call pajamas?

Zalk: Actually we call it a pajama, too. Weirdly, the airline industry calls them sleep suits.

Harry Zalk

Skift: How many airlines do you work with?

Zalk: We work with around eight airlines currently in Asia, the Middle East, Europe, and Australia. We are in conversations with the three big American airlines.

Skift: What’s the onboard amenity kit and pajamas market worth globally?

Zalk: I would guess that soft products and amenities and pajamas, as we are going to call them, must be worth somewhere in the region of half a billion dollars.

Skift: What does an average airline spend on each business class amenity kit?

Skift: A lot of airlines partner with popular brands for kits. Why does a brand want in?

Skift: Is the stuff in an amenity kit the same as in stores?

Skift: But that isn’t the case for hotels, right?

Skift: What about the amenity kit pouches? American Airlines says its bags are Cole Haan. Are they?

Skift: What’s the point of these kits? I have everything I need in my bathroom. I can just bring it on my trip.

I think some of the higher volume, lower spend kits are really a little thank you gift. My question to the industry would be, does every passenger need one every time?

Skift: What does an airline spend on a sleep suit?

Skift: What about pillows and blankets? They’re important too, right?

Skift: Really?

Zalk: Yea. Amazingly, people like to steal free stuff. Who knew?

0 notes