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thesinglesjukebox · 4 months

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SHO MADJOZI - "CHALE"

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With David, we revisit an old favorite...

[8.33]

Will Adams: Immensely fun, from the ensemble cast of sound effects -- mad scientist lightning zaps! big fat FM bass! gym class whistles -- to the call-and-response hook. Like any good party, it makes you lose track of time, and you don't even notice you've been grooving to the same song for six minutes. [8]

Crystal Leww: Where Tyla felt like a showcase for amapiano's potential to showcase something sexy, "Chale" is Sho Madjozi's showcase for the genre to show energy. This feels faster than amapiano really is -- I'm really struck by the fight atmosphere created during the chant of "You wasn't there when we was shooting in the gyyyyyyyym!" So much more charming coming from Sho than Fucking Drake. [6]

Frank Kogan: Sho Madjozi and the rest of the music are lifting each other (as opposed to back on "John Cena," when she and the beats were more in combat). The lyrics seem ambivalent about fame -- an ambivalence that was all over her last video, "Toro" -- but in this vid she's totally at ease with the fans, inviting them and their selfies into the dance. The sound of gqom/amapiano is a suspense-film buildup, rising tension yet a groove you can relax in forever, "Chalé" doing it about as well as it can be done. [9]

Nortey Dowuona: TBOY Daflame opens the song with an ominous synth riff, then punctuates it with bouncy log drums Sho rides expertly. When they take over the mix and even slide off key, Sho slips out, and as a soccer whistle enters the mix, tinny and shrill, it takes the center. The drums drop out except for the hihats, and Sho pops back up, her chorus bigger and prouder, a sharp aphorism from the Friggin Canadian suddenly alive and a gleeful taunt. "Chale" blurs until it becomes a brick, hard, solid, frozen in the mind. [10]

Tim de Reuse: Under the horror-show drone of a single hazy supersaw, she flexes, relaxes, paces, and chants, but only just enough, lest she appear to try too hard; her own voice is a sparse, percussive element, the rest of the space filled with a meaty, developing beat. An excellent strategy to self-celebration: make the party do the work. There's no other way you could get away with a track like this being six minutes. I could listen to a loop of that shuffling, syncopated bass-breakdown for sixteen. [8]

Micha Cavaseno: Nearly every Sho Madjozi single feels like the synths have to be close to as playful as her own rhymes while also seeming like they're lurking in an unwelcome manner. It's kind of astonishing as to how many songs a person can make that sound close to tricksy without the artist coming off as anything more than bright and sunshiney. Somehow you don't even think Tboy Daflame's freakout breakdown of subs and whines is anything more than fun & games in spite of its industrial calamity. Can't begin to describe how confounded that makes me, and how fun it is to be so taken aback. Maybe that's the point! [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Something I didn't know I needed: an amapiano track that functions as a contemporary American jock jam. [9]

Brad Shoup: I know it's provincial, but I keep trying to figure how the WNBA can put this into a commercial while ignoring the original Kobe joke. I love how Sho's blithe and kinetic, and how you can hear Tboy Daflame mashing the pads. [7]

Ian Mathers: There are a lot of different little sonic flourishes I love here, but the mad scientist electricity sound might be my favourite. Then there's the bits where it keeps sounding like a Squarepusher song is about to break out, and how good both the title refrain and the "shooting in the gym" bits are every time they come back. I was genuinely shocked to finally notice it's over six minutes long -- the whole thing practically flies by. You pull a salt and pepper diner on me with this one, and I wouldn't notice for a good long time. [9]

Katherine St Asaph: Infectious joy in a generous portion. [9]

Alfred Soto: The walls of this single keep expanding with each second, and the combination of ruminative, brassy, and mysterious that I love in good Neneh Cherry and Rosalía doesn't quit. When it yields to beeps and chirps, it reaches peak sublimity. No, I wasn't there when she was shooting in the gyyyyyyym. [8]

David Moore: 2023 was the year I managed to drag myself out of a nasty little pit I'd been growing uncomfortably accustomed to, and subsequently I started listening to and writing about music again. My lodestar was Sho Madjozi, an artist I had brief but serendipitous encounters with in the past through the Jukebox and then Tom Ewing's People's Pop Polls. On "Chale," she augmented the deluge of amapiano that I was starting to understand at a technical level with an infectious pop call-and-response chorus, inviting the whole world to the party with a personalized golden ticket. And there was Sho Madjozi herself in the center, incandescent, always on the verge of bursting out in laughter, and you could feel yourself breaking, too, like you're sharing an inside joke. I carried the "shooting in the gym" line like a talisman guarding me against the hundred leaden Drake songs I would encounter later, hiding like sneaky little fungus trolls in my playlists. The song came out and February, and I never stopped listening to it all year, beaming, hardly believing my luck: I was finally open to something wonderful, and this was the gift I received. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#sho madjozi #music #pop music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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thebookwormfairy · 5 years

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Imagine Tim Goodman giving his girlfriend a water stone necklace

So Tim and you have actually been together for a while

You started dating before you left for your journey, but you kept it up after you left

You would talk every day, once in the morning and once at night

Tim actually helped you find your first pokemon

For one of your dates Tim took you to a local lake, because he knew you loved the water

That's where you azul

You just felt an instant connection to this little blue ball of fluff

Tim was actually the one who caught azul but he gave her to you

Azul became your's and Tim's baby

Even though she was your pokemon she would sometimes hang out with Tim on the rare occasion you go somewhere she can't

When you left it was bitter sweet

Because you were finally going to follow your dream in competing both in gym battles and contest, but tim didn't want to come with you

You tried to convince him but he was firm in his decision

You always told him if he changed his mind he can always travel with you

While you were out on your journey you actually captured a pokemon for Tim but you wanted to give the pokemon the him in person

You planned to do it on you anniversary

But then Tim got the call about his dad

You insisted you come with him

You had to drop off all your pokemon at the professor's lab before you left because they technically weren't allowed

The only one you had left was your newly evolved Maril

Maril sensing Tim's sadness spent the whole trained ride cuddled up to him the whole ride

You laughed at the lickatonge

Tim just gave you a look that said he did not find it funny

You: I'm sure it was just trying to make you feel better

Tim: Well I wish it would find a better way to do it

You just laughed again and gave the lickatonge a pat on the head

You are really impressed with Lucy

Not everybody could handle a Phyduck

And she was really impressed with your Maril

You both started to talk about the finer points about water pokemon when the conversation turns to careers

You learn she a journalist

She learns your a contest coordinator and pokemon train

She is really impressed and would love to interview you about the challenge of doing both

You both agree to meet next week

The conversation ends when Tim reminds you that you have to go upstairs

When you met pikachu you couldn't understand him

But you believed Tim when he says he can understand him

But you can't help but cuddle the adorable pokemon

You and maril battle the Apon

You used a mixture of you contest skills and battle skills to fight them back until they snap out of it

Que the next couple of days playing detective

When y'all get to to the lab you a disgusted

You: Pokemon aren't meant to be treated like this

Tim holds you close as you cry as y'all watch what happened to Mewtoo

Omg during to finally battle you go full badass

Before you went back to Rhyme City you made sure to grab the rest of your pokemon team

Which included a gyadoes, seadra, starraptor, togakiss, and starme

You made sure to were a mask to stop the gas

You were there battling Mewtoo giving it all you got

With your pokemon and Pikachu you were able to distract Mewtoo long enough for Tim to save the day

Harry absolutely adores you

He sees how good you are together

You decide to take a little break from traveling to just be with Tim for a while

The contest season has ended you you won the cute category at the final contest so you were pretty good on money with photo shoots and interviews and the winnings itself

You were finally able to give Tim the Pokemon

It was a pikachu wearing a bowtie

You decided to do it on your date at a lake outside of Rhyme City

Tim didn't know what to say

But he couldn't deny the connection he felt to the mouse pokemon

Tim: did you dress him up for me?

Tim asked as he picked up what he knew was meant to be his pokemon partner

You: actually he insisted on wearing that himself, I meet him while getting Maril ready for a contest. He walked right up to us and took my bowtie and put it on himself. That's when I knew he was met for you.

You explained that he was meant to be an anniversary present but with all the drama going on you were never able to

Tim: I actually have something for you as well

Tim pulls out the most beautiful necklace you have ever scene

Tim: I know how much you love water pokemon so I bought a water stone and had it made into a necklace

Time put the necklace around your neck.

You two share a kiss before continuing your date

Where Tim announced that he would also join you on your journey when the contest season starts up again

#tim goodman x reader #tim goodman #time goodman imagine #detective pikachu #pokemon #detective pickachu x reader #dective pikachu imagine

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stories-of-the-past · 5 years

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So I finally saw Detective Pikachu and I absolutely loved it. I think one of my favorite aspects is that it really expanded the world beyond just trainers and battling for the gyms/league that the original cartoons and nintendo games focused on (which is something I actually liked to imagine and make up while I played the games). And of course the best worldbuilding ultimately makes the audience feel like there are day to day and cultural aspects at play that weren’t directly tied to the story. With it now being released I’m guessing spoilers aren’t too big an issue but just in case, fair warning there might be some minor spoilers below.

So watching the DVD as I work on some job applications got me to wondering how the concept of Pokemon partners relate to people’s careers. Obviously some have pretty clear connections, water types and especially Squirtles seem common for firefighters, Machoke & Machamp can handle heavy lifting, and things like that. But others seem a little more open ended. Nothing about Pikachu or Snubble are inherently connected to detective work nor is Psyduck an obvious asset to journalism. We also know that people can get their pokemon partner just by pure chance like Tim’s friend, Jack, tried to do with Cubone.

Given all of this it’s not entirely clear if people always work or if it can vary. Maybe some people work with their Partner while others just have pokemon they happen to work with, and others just have a Partner with them but not largely involved in their jobs. But one thing that is obvious is that regardless of involvement with work it’s expected that a person should have a pokemon partner. Tim is constantly asked where his partner is and Jack clearly thinks Tim should have one (both he and Yoshida expressing concern about Tim being alone) but it doesn’t seem to be expressly required. Yoshida doesn’t press the issue too much and aside from her quick comment about being a loner seeming suspicious Lucy doesn’t seem too phased. Given all that I figure having a Partner is something that is expected but doesn’t necessarily have a set age or ceremony to go with it. Probably since there’s an expectation for a genuine bond, that both human and pokemon choose each other, it’s considered best to be left to happen naturally on it’s own course. But most likely as a person gets older there gets to be more pressure (sort of how some people seem to look at dating/marriage, while lots of people are happy to remain single they’re still bound to be asked questions about if they’ve met anyone yet as years go by).

This open endedness though makes jobs even more complicated though. Are you expected to say whether you have a Partner yet in your resume/cover letter? Are employers allowed to ask what your Partner is in the application process? Are there issues of employers favoring or disfavoring certain kinds of Pokemon?

So now I’m just picturing young people entering the job market searching on their computers about how much they’re required to reveal about their Partner in the application process or whether or (outside Rhyme City) if they should have their Partner out or keep it in the pokeball during an interview.

#pokemon #detective pikachu #detective pikachu spoilers #tim goodman #lucy stevens #pokemon: detective pikachu

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the3rdfloorimprov · 6 years

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A verbal warmup that I personally feel encourages and supports failure is Bad Rap. Here’s how it works

Bad Rap- A group stands in a circle and starts rhythmically rapping the words “Bad Rap” “Bad Rap Bad Rap” “Bad Rap” “Bad Rap Bad Rap” once that has been started one person will unsuccessfully rap 2 line of dialogue. For Example: (Group) “Bad rap, bad rap bad rap. Bad rap, bad rap bad rap” (Person line 1) “My friends are fun and like to party” (Group) “Bad rap, bad rap bad rap” (Person line 2) “ If you’re late to school you will be grounded” (Group) Bad Rap, bad rap bad rap. If the example a good rap would be rhyming party with tardy but because this is bad rap we are trying to think of a word that will not fit into the rhyme. Another example: “I work out daily and hit the gym” “Everybody knows me my first name’s Dennis” Rather than making the rhyme of Tim. This warm up can also be played where one person gives the first line and a second person will say the 2nd line.

#badrap #improv #improvisation #improvexercise #improvwarmup #improvnotes #theater #theatergames #the3rdfloor #improvise #funny #comedy #humor #training

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comicsbeat · 6 years

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Yet more amazing comics debuting at tomorrow’ Comic Arts Brooklyn show!

Roopert August Lipp Revival House 56 pages, 8.5″ X 11″ 2 color offset $10

The long-awaited debut by comics virtuoso, August Lipp. Perhaps you’ve been fortunate to see glimpses of his work in esteemed anthologies such as Smoke Signals, for example. Now, one can evince the full dexterity of his talent with the exuberant saga, Roopert. Roopert is excited to return to school after a summer of splendid adventures! His best chums will all be there: Clyve the shy badger, Benji the other, slightly shorter bear, Hannah the ballsy fox, Timothy the average frog, Clarissa the dentally-advantaged crocodile and many more. Hey, this school is a real ZOO! What kind of antics will they get up to when the bell rings and Miss Julienne the human’s 6th grade class begins? Irreverence and beastly nature are masked by overzealous displays of etiquette as the child animals struggle for agency in the face of less-than-responsible authority figures. Follow along as this comic meanders through Roopert’s first action-packed day of middle school! Adult supervision recommended. published by Revival House Press!

Hot Dog Beach #4 by Lale Westvind

High octane slapstick adventure starring Mop and Fuzz, two ding dongs trying to make a buck on a strange gig that never ends.

“BIG BONERZ: A Street Dawgz Comic Collection” by Lizz Lunney

This experimental comic tells the story of a group of canines that tackle depression, drug addiction and anger problems whilst roaming the streets and protecting their cardboard box home from outsiders. Lunney explores themes of fame/celebrity, mental health problems, class struggle, addiction and more through a pack of homeless street dogs. Lots of jokes! Lots of bones! Published by Birdcage Bottom Books 5.25″ x 7.5″, 44 pages. $7 Two-color risograph cover with b+w interior

The Loud Atlas

By Peter + Maria Hoey

Our new accordion fold book takes a surreal and funny look at the noisy world imagined by the Italian Futurists. Using the style of Marinetti and the rhyming pattern of Dr. Seuss. 8 panels and 45” inches long. Screen printed in 2 colors and hand bound on black book board in an edition of 50.

DOMINO BOOKS

At CAB, we are proud to debut our ninth publication, BOOK OF DAZE by E.A. Bethea. Swing by table M3 to check it out—we will also have dozens and dozens of rare zines and art books available, many of them making their debut at the show.

If you can’t make it to CAB, BOOK OF DAZE is available for pre-order now through our online shop.

Book of Daze by E.A. Bethea. $6, 40 pages. Color cover, black and white interior, printed on newsprint.

“I first discovered Bethea’s stuff almost twenty years ago, she is one of the people whose work made me finally commit to comics as my medium of choice. With her barbed, nervous line and blunt writing style, she’s like a Duchampian voice calling for comics revolt. Her comics call out to us that no matter how damaged or how much of an outsider someone is, comics is our birthright.” -Josh Bayer, author of Theth

Book of Daze by E.A. Bethea is the kind of book DOMINO exists to publish. I first found Bethea’s work lying around an apartment I was visiting. I picked it up and from that moment on, have never forgotten it. As I began to read her dense pages, I was overwhelmed by the straightforward emotional statements and startlingly precise mind behind the sequences. In one moment, Bethea’s comics would acknowledge pain and disappointment, then turn to explain it away or justify things, only to finally confront the problem from a new angle. On the next page, simple pleasures became the focus, romantic notions embraced. Later on in the book cynical approaches to anything and everything were duly considered. All of this managed to congeal as Bethea kept another strong cloud hanging over it all: a refusal to shy away from an unashamed embrace of the full panorama of life.

Bethea, a simple interpretation might offer, chronicles the web of living in the world with a heart and a mind sometimes at odds and sometimes simpatico. But Bethea gives us something more complex: at times, the work feels dead-pan as it shifts from exhilaration to resignation without a change in visual presentation, but it’s here where we have a guide to the heart of Bethea’s project. The often uniform nature of the pages and the highly non-uniform nature of what is contained within become a catalog of days or weeks or years. One page offers a subdued period in life, while the next (seemingly) similar page offers a day full of regret. Bethea talks about her work relating to cinema, specifically calling attention to what happens between one of her panels and the next. The shifts in emotion and carefully chosen images alongside highly precise language feel like walking into a film where the entire crew–from director to actor to gaffer—united in one mind to make something highly exquisite.

The Unquotable Trump by R. SIkoryak (Drawn and Quarterly)

R. Sikoryak frames Trump and his declarations as the words and actions of the most notable villains and antagonists in comic book history.

The House of Dickinson by R. Sikoryak (self published)

This mini combines the poetry of Emily Dickinson with the atmosphere of 1950’s horror comics.

Futile Comics #6 Mike Centeno

A 16 page look at a day in the life of a woman who deals with subway abuse, retail hijinx, and gym bros until she reaches the breaking point and has no energy left to keep all the black goop of rage inside of her.

Precious Little Lives By Joe Garber

This new American classic follows the melodramatic tragedies of a Tap n’ Scat Jazzist just trying to make her way in the world with a head full of dreams and a pocket full of toxic-male assholes.

Generous Consolation Conor Stechschulte In consolation for not having the third volume of Generous Bosom ready in time for CAB, this zine offers a preview of selected images from that book. Available on its own or for free with a preorder of GB3.

TRUMPTRUMP Volume 1: nomination to inauguration

by Warren Craghead III

Every day, Warren Craghead draws and shares grotesque portraits of Donald Trump and his minions. TRUMPTRUMP Volume 1 collects the first six months of these daily drawings with context and commentary, from when Trump accepted the Republican nomination for president on July 21, 2016 until his inauguration on January 20, 2017. — Retrofit Comics

Bestiary by Alden Viguilla

A collection of mythical beasts risographed in blue and gold.

Final form #1 By Craig Bowers

A fantasy about two friends trying to make quick cash so they can go travel the world and two frogs slacking on the job.

The 12 Days of Christmas

Caitlin Keegan

The 12 days of Christmas, illustrated. A holiday zine that you can color (or not.)

Twin Peaks poster

Caitlin Keegan

12×18″ poster featuring sketchbook drawings of characters from season 3.

Bronze Enamel Sun Pin

Caitlin Keegan

Bronze + enamel pin with reversible sun face (1.125″)

I’ll also have copies of The Illuminated Tarot, which came out in April.

So What? Press Tales of the Night Watchman LLC

www.sowhatpress.com

Tales of the Night Watchman is the story of Nora, a blogger stuck working a dead end job in coffee, and her roommate, Charlie, who happens to be possessed (in the nicest way possible) by a spectral detective called The Night Watchman. Baristas by day, heroes by night, Nora and Charlie answer the call to fight the city’s never-ending flux of supernatural activity.

#gallery-0-6 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-6 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-6 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-6 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Issue synopsis:

The Gowanus Golem is back! In this follow up to one of the series’ most popular tales, Brooklyn’s most toxic monster is after a couple thugs who are responsible for the death of a young boy. There’s only one problem: To stop him, The Night Watchman must protect one of the killers. Oh, and did we mention it’s also a Christmas special? Written by Dave Kelly Artwork by Brett Hobson Colors by Clare DeZutti Cover by Tim Hamilton

Over Time, Every Section Was Allowed To Grow Accordingly Aaron Cockle, New York Is For Sale, Table J2

It’s part 1 of a 2-part Franz Kafka fan comic, 32 pages

Annie Mok Loves Videogames by Annie Mok

A collection of comics, essays, and an interview, all about an abiding love and critique of games such as The Legend of Zelda, Shenmue, Sonic, and others. Annie Mok freelances for Rookie Mag, The Comics Journal, The Establishment, and others, and now makes games such as The Haunted Nintendo.

Keep Going Greg Kletsel

32 page Risograph zine inspired by the phrase “keep going”.

Animation: Dansemorphia (on custom silicone USB’s !) Zine: Frame Drain –

Roya Haroun

blurb- Danse! Morph! Ya!

Parasite Wanderer By Connor McCann

A girl wakes up with a parasite attached to her face and the two embark on a bombastic and poetic 16 page adventure.

People of Oakland Asuka Ohsawa

When I moved from Brooklyn to Oakland in 2014, in an attempt to get to know my new environment, I got into the habit of staring at people who caught my attention, memorizing their facial features, and drawing them at home. The book is a collection of some of those sketches.

Somewhere, Sometime Asuka Ohsawa

After my dad passed away in 2016, I traveled to my childhood home in Japan often and dug through his material possessions. This experience triggered an avalanche of childhood memories that I hadn’t thought of for so many years. I decided to piece together bits and pieces of these memories in this book.

Slasher #5 by Charles Forsman

It’s all been leading to this. The final issue of Charles Forsman’s exploration into violence and sexuality. After the events of issue four, Christine lets herself indulge for the last time. From the creator of the E4/Netflix series The End of the F***ing World.

Live at the Grelman: #4 Amy Magick By Vinnie Neuberg, AT Pratt, and Derek Timm-Brock

Live at the Grelman is a collaborative storytelling stand-up comedy comic strip. All strips are written and drawn in the order that they appear and nothing is preplanned. This issue features guest strips by Drew Miller, Disa Wallander, Lane Graff, Max Huffman, Kelsey Wroten, Haejin Park, Mikey Karpiel, and Michael Furler. 40pp

Touch By Vinnie Neuberg

A new mini-comic about an online date gone awry in a Virtual Reality world. Each comic comes with a foldout poster. 24pp

False Advertising By Dylan Balliett

False Advertising is a collection of recent illustrations, comic strips, and single panel gag comics by Dylan Balliett.

The Fishes’ Ball By Priscilla Boatwright

A locket. A fisherman. A steed. The Fishes’ Ball is a short tale about a man who descends to the bottom of a lake in search of his beloved.

CAB 2017 Debuts Part Two: More exciting comics to fill your brains and shelves Yet more amazing comics debuting at tomorrow' Comic Arts Brooklyn show! Roopert August Lipp Revival House…

#CAB 2017 #Debuts #News #Top News

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itsjaybullme · 6 years

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The 12 Most Underrated Celeb Physiques Ever

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Where's the Love?

YouTube/Maxim

The greatest physiques of all time are all well-documented. Beef monsters like Terry Crews and Dwayne Johnson get all the love for being massive and ripped beyond belief. But there are a handful of Hollywood stars like Hank Azaria—the voice of Moe on The Simpsons—who’ve gone under the radar concerning rips and cuts. Here’s a list of 11 overlooked lifters.

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1. Jason Statham

For such an accomplished action star, Jason Statham tends to keep his shirt on during his films. But, wait a minute…who is that scantily-clad dude dancing in leopard print underpants in this video? Looks like Statham got all of the on-screen nudity out of his system early in his career.

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2. Sean Connery

Before he starred in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and interviews in which he justifies slapping women, Sean Connery was a bodybuilder. No joke. He started at age 18, and trained with a former gym instructor in the British Army. Connery, according to his official website, took third in the 1950 Mr. Universe contest; however, other sources claim he placed third, or didn’t place at all, in 1953.

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3. Carrot Top

When you grow up with red hair, you’re going to get made fun of. Trust me. One solution to that plight is to get massively ripped, to the point that you resemble a kaiju more than an actual human being. Give Carrot Top credit for his build, though—he looks good from the neck down. And now it’s probably easier to lug around all those props.

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4. Dave Chappelle

The actor and former star of Chappelle's Show has shocked the world twice in his career. Once when he walked away from his hit sketch comedy show on Comedy Central, and again when he showed up a couple of years later looking absolutely jacked. Let's stop downplaying it, Chappelle has had one of the most stark physical transformations among celebs in recent years. What's more, he didn't need an upcoming movie role as motivation.

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5. Hank Azaria (Moe Syslak)

Why does the voice of Moe from The Simpsons need to be this jacked? Seriously? Character actor Hank Azaria is known largely for his comedic shtick—be it animated or live-action—but he could also be known for his can’t-pinch-an-inch physique, and immaculately hairless chest.

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6. Marlon Brando

The epitome of “steak and eggs” physique (before he went on to eat the weight of that physique in actual steak and eggs), Brando did a lot of shirtless work during his glory days. While most remember him as the grandfatherly-paunched Don Corleone from The Godfather, we mustn’t forget Brando’s studded physique as he yelled “STELLA!!!” to the heavens, strategically torn shirt and all.

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7. Sean Penn

Sean Penn is 57 years old and looks absolutely ripped.

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8. John C. McGinley

Karen Neal / Getty

You might remember him as one of the “Bobs” from Office Space. Or as Dr. Cox from Scrubs. But what you might not know is that John C. McGinley is a veteran action star, too, having appeared in badass form in everything from Platoon to Point Break to The Rock. It wasn’t until Wild Hogs, though, that we got a real look at his impressive physique (dude is 58!) as he eagerly hopped nude into an oasis with Tim Allen. More power!

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9. Robert De Niro

Come on, give the guy props, he's in his 70s and not afraid to pose shirtless with carved-from-stone Zac Efron. That's more than most of us can say. Two boxing flicks (Raging Bull, 1980, and Grudge Match, 2013), gave us a look at Robert De Niro’s evolving body. As Jake LaMotta (Raging Bull), he was wiry and ripped. As Billy “The Kid” McDonnen (Grudge Match), he’d put on some weight, but was still noticeably cut. We could all only hope to keep flexing for so long.

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10. Bruce Lee

The martial arts legend was ripped. Why? According to sources and historians, Lee was adamant about training in “functional strength”—the practice of building strength that could readily be converted to power. Martial artist Dan Inosanto, a close friend of Lee’s, recalled how Lee would size-up massive bodybuilders and ask, “Yeah, he’s big…but is he powerful? Can he use that extra muscle efficiently?” And, possibly, “Will his poster be on the wall of every freshman dorm room ever?”

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11. Drake

Frank Hoensch / Getty

Drake has been one of the biggest names in music for quite some time now, and just as his popularity has grown his muscles have as well. The Canadian rapper has put on significant weight since breaking through as a musician in 2008 with the hit song “Best I Ever Had”. As Drake has just crossed into his 30s he appears to be taking his fitness more seriously as he gets older.

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12. Ludacris

Jeff Kravitz / Getty

Many facets of Ludacris' career slide smoothly under the radar. In his rapping career he’s recognized as making some of the best club-anthem and hype records of his time, but not for the technicality in his rhyming ability. In his acting career, he’s carved out a solid role in the Fast & Furious films, and he absolutely delivers.

Over the years he’s grown from a twig-like figure under extremely baggy T-shirts to a guy who fills out the sleeves on his shirts pretty easily.

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from Bodybuilding Feed http://www.muscleandfitness.com/athletes-celebrities/news/10-most-underrated-celeb-physiques-ever via http://www.rssmix.com/

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theworstbob · 7 years

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yellin’ at songs: june week three

capsule reviews of the pop songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 on 17 june 2017 and 16 june 2007

16 June 2007

56) "Beautiful Flower," India.Arie

I'll cop to not knowing that much about India.Arie. I understand she has at least one classic album, and I can also see that there is no India.ArieVEVO account, so her entire career transpired when I was assuming it was acceptable to live life only listening to white men complain about women. This has clearly been to my detriment, because this song is simply astonishing. It's an inspirational song, but it's only India.Arie, a guitar, and some other voices for the occasional harmony, so it actually felt like, when India.Arie said "When they say shake your moneymaker/Shake your head," she was talking directly to me, decidedly not the target audience for this song. (I want to shout out how fucking great that lyric is again. "When they say shake your moneymaker/Shake your head." GODDAMN RIGHT. HELL YEAH. GIRL POWER FOREVER, SISTAHS.) It's such a cool and compelling twist on the girl power anthem, something toned down, but not so toned down that it feels like you're sitting around the campfire with the youth pastor. This is the second song, this and "Get Buck," that I think we unjustifiably left behind in 2007, and I say we bring it back.

78) "The Way I Are," Timbaland ft./Keri Hilson

I give Timbaland a lot of heck for being making loud and unnavigable music in these parts, but it would be dishonest of me to deny that this is a hot one. There's a build here that's absent from the rest of Timbaland's ouevre. Typically, it sounds like he's giving you a thousand things to listen to all at once, but on this one, he slowly adds more and more things, so once the chorus hits, it's the typical Timbaland mess of sound, but there's a structure, there's a logic to how everything fits together, and I can finally hear what made Timbaland the name that he was. This is GOOD trashy 2007 music. I'm down with this.

80) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," Kanye West

What 2007 vs. 2017 might ultimately come down to is that 2007 has the old Kanye and 2017 has the new Kanye. (Wait. I'm not sure Kanye West has figured into the 2017 equation at all, actually. Have I not been paying that much attention when Wikipediaing the rap songs? Has he legit not been involved with ANYTHING on the chart?) This is probably the best pure-rap song Kanye ever made, one of those songs where it's not the production carrying the day (though this is an astounding track), Kanye is actually on point with his flow and his rhymes. I sometimes rag on Kanye for the fact that his rapping might be the weakest part of his whole thing, but I'm comparing him to like Jay-Z and Kendrick and other dudes in consideration for GOAT, of course Kanye is going to falter, KANYE STILL MADE THIS SONG. This song doesn't work without a capable MC guiding the proceedings. Love this. Only reason it's not higher is because I don't want a cluster of Kanye at the top, and also I'm tickled with "Get Buck" being the rap song of the year so far and don't wanna see that end. Like, OBVIOUSLY, if this were 2007 and this song just came out, it'd be the new #1, but this is a retrospective, and I think it's important we reflect on how violent the "Get Buck" beat was.

91) "Whine Up," Kat Deluna ft./Elephant Man

You know what I don't think about enough? How pop songs end. That's partially because I am bad at this, but it's also not something I think about because we're not exactly conditioned to think of songs as stories. Songs generally don't leave you hanging, or end by saying it was all just a dream (with the possible exception of that one Nelly song from a few years back ("Cruise")), they're sort of like museum exhibits, where they present themselves to you in full, and you consider their merits as a piece. (This is why the critique Mariah Carey gave of David Cook's "Always Be My Baby," where she specifically says she loves how he ends the song on this off note and leaves it unresolved, has stayed with me.) I bring up endings because this song ends with Kat DeLuna singing "Whine up! Whine up! Whine up! Oh, yeah!" for half a minute before fading out. I think the song understands that it's really just here to go "Whine up! Whine up! Whine up! Oh, yeah!" for four minutes, but we still had a few years to go before "We Found Love" dropped, so it needed to go through the verse-chorus-verse motions, yeah sure feature verse can't have a song without a feature verse, but this is a song which knows what it is, and it gives you as much of what you want as it can before backing out, aware that there's only so much "Whine up! Whine up! Whine up! Oh, yeah!" one can take. The fade suggests the song could just go "Whine up! Whine up! Whine up! Oh, yeah!" for ten hours, but we have expectations of our pop songs, and this wants nothing more than to live up to expectations. Quality chorus, though! Had a great big dumb time with this one! 2007's got it rollin' this week! Can't wait to see how 2007 keeps the momentum goin'!

96) "Wall to Wall," Chris Brown

Welp.

97) "Bartender," T-Pain ft./Akon

This song is just comfy. A lovely chaser for the song I didn't listen to but still had to acknowledge existed. After writing a good chunk about "Whine Up," a song that may as well have had four words, I don't want to over-analyze what is simply a nice song, sort of what to let it be, want to point out the casual misogyny that kinda takes some of the chill out the zone, but mostly want to acknowledge that none of the several sets of three minutes we've all spent with this song somewhere in our space is pretty neat. Well done, everyone.

99) "Startin' with Me," Jake Owen

"I took a swing at my old man one Christmas/I never dreamed that it would be his last" ...Did. Did this dude kill his dad? Fuckin' hell, dude, someone should've caught that lyric. How many people wrote this one? Three. Three people. Not one of them said, "Hey, what do we think of this line? It sounds like this dude killed his dad with a punch." But like even if this dude didn't kill his dad, he had sex with his bro's sister, he sold his grandpa's guitar, he punched his dad, he went to jail and yelled at his brother for not bailing him out, he wasn't with his family when his grandma died, this man is fucking irredeemable, and he just goes, "Yeah, I sure goofed up some things back there, didn't I? Ha, if I had a dime..." You get to say that about small stupid mistakes, like the thing about bein' too big a dick to a girl, or the thing about smoking. You don't get to have a dime for every time you commit patricide. You don't get second chances for ruining every single relationship in your life. Who on earth relates to this song? This is nonsense. It's this dark, twisted man singing this Tim McGraw melody, and it's illogical.

100) "Do You," Ne-Yo

2:48 PM 6/4/2017: Wow! A Ne-Yo song I don't remember! What a treat! 2:52 PM 6/4/2017: ...Oh. Oh I forgot this because it wasn't great. I get it. No, no, that's fair. Learning that this was a sequel to "So Sick" is equally disappointing. We talked about endings -- whoa, a thematic link between capsule reviews, who ever heard of such a thing -- and "So Sick" has a really solid ending, that lonely, soft "Why can't I turn off the radio?" and this is, this doesn't ruin "So Sick?" But knowing that dude doesn't get over it for two years kinda makes the dude seem more pathetic than sad. 2:53 PM 6/4/2017: REMIX WITH UTADA HIKARU?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I HAVE THREE WORDS FOR THE WAY THIS IS MAKING ME FEEL. AND BABY, IT AIN'T COMPLEX AND FILTHY, I CAN TELL YA WHAT.

Two new songs in the Top 10, AND Lil Mama hangs on for another glorious week! 20) "Get Me Bodied," by Beyonce (5.26.2007) 19) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 18) "I Don't Wanna Stop," by Ozzy Osbourne (5.26.2007) 17) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 16) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 15) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 14) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 13) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 12) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 11) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 10) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," by Kanye West (6.16.2007) 9) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 8) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 7) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 6) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 5) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 4) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 3) "Beautiful Flower," by India.Arie (6.16.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) Strong, strong week for 2007. Congratulations, year I have randomly personified.

6.17.2017

74) "Somethin Tells Me," Bryson Tiller 85) "Self-Made," Bryson Tiller 89) "Don't Get Too High," Bryson Tiller 91) "Run Me Dry," Bryson Tiller 98) "No Longer Friends," Bryson Tiller

The artists who have debuted three or more songs on the Billboard Hot 100 in the same week this year are, in some order, Ed Sheeran (AAA), Big Sean (hip-hop stalwart, AA), Migos (one AAA hit), Future (AAA), Nicki Minaj (AAA), Drake (AAA), Kendrick Lamar (AAA), and Bryson Tiller. ...I enjoyed the couple of Bryson Tiller songs I heard the last couple of years. I would not have guessed he had the clout to release a surprise album, the wattage to get five of the 19 songs on the album to chart, but here we are! Five songs! That were all pretty much the same thing! "Run Me Dry" was noticably bouncier than the other songs, but like these songs, this dude, like, you know how, with Netflix and YouTube, they sink so much into original content because the goal isn't to create something great, the goal is to create something people will watch? Like, if you're watching something on Netflix, you're not watching something on Hulu or Twitch, so it's in Netflix's best interests to throw a thousand spaghettis at the wall in the hopes of finding something to stick. These songs are designed for you to you listen to so that you're listening to that record label's version of this and not something else on some other label. (I can think of no other reason that this should be 19 songs long. I kinda wanted to listen to this album on the bus ride home, get a jump start on these songs, but the album was longer than my bus ride. Why.) Like, these are not, technically, bad songs. I don't like them and barely remember them however-long-I've-been-writing-this-paragraph later, but I never felt compelled to hit skip, and that feels like that's what we're going for here. Listen to this hour-long album. Don't hit other buttons.

88) "Met Gala," Gucci Mane ft./Offset

"I was that nigga locked up in the cell/And they treated me like I was normal/Thankin' the Lord for them blessings/I just left the Met Gala dressin' up formal" I wonder what a better lyricist would have done with that concept, of being an ex-con who can score tickets to the Met Gala. Like, I think Metro Boomin structured a track around that idea, of someone at the Met Gala experiencing anhedonia because they've been treated like the lowest form of humanity and now there's all these rich people who've never had anything bad happen to them, and the dude can't even feel like he's made it because this is a thousand miles from his scene. This is what the sound songs like independent of the words, at least, though I think we've established that the words are the least essential part of this kind of hip-hop. I'd probably listen to an album of Metro Boomin instrumentals, I don't see why we need Gucci Mane in here bleating about whatever.

90) "No Such Thing as a Broken Heart," Old Dominion

This was a'ight. I like that it doesn't suggest that if you love this hard all problems will go away; there's no resolution in this song, only a group of dudes promising to try their best, and that's the closest we're gonna get to complexity this side of Stapleton.It actually sort of reminds me of "Hey Ya!", not in terms of craft oh my stars not in those terms, but in its depiction of relationships where two people look at each other and say "I don't know how to be committed to you." Pop-country dude song of the year 2017, by a mile. (To reiterate, Thomas Rhett is ineligible because "Craving You" is pure bubblegum.)

94) "There for You," Martin Garrix x Troye Sivan

so baby hold me closer in the backseat of your rover that i know you can't afford, bite that tattoo on your shoulder, pull the sheets off of the corner of the mattress that you stole from your roommate back in boulder, we ain't ever gettin' older

99) "Butterfly Effect," Travis Scott

this was fine! travis scott can be counted on to deliver solid songs, and while I'm not gonna say this is my favorite thing he's ever done, it's still nice to hear him chime in. what a pleasant surprise! these reviews have gotten progressively shorter. the next review prolly just gonna be one word.

100) "Strangers," Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui

So here's something I'm guilty of: Me: There should be more women on the chart! Y'all: Here's one we like! Me: /sucks in air through teeth/ Not this one? So I'm glad that Halsey made a song I think is actually pretty dope. Like, I actually went back and listened to it again, simply because, hey, girl-girl love duet, that's new! I'm actually having difficulty recalling any hit song that was specifically about a same-sex relationship, and I'm sure they exist and I'm forgetting something thuddingly obvious, but this is cool, and thankfully, it's a good song on its own merits. Halsey and Jauregui mesh really well together, and the track is a perfect complement, something propulsive, yet understated enough to let the singers do the work they need to do, a backing track that knows what it needs to be. (Suppose it makes sense that someone who won a Producer of the Year Grammy would write a decent song.)

Only one new thing in the Top 20 because I stared at the list for 20 seconds before deciding I was not going to bump Kendrick from the Top 20 for Old Dominion. We don’t consider how much optics figure into determining how much we love what we love, but they figure in quite a bit. 20) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 19) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 18) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 17) "Felices los 4," by Maluma (6.3) 16) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 15) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 14) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 13) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 12) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 11) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 10) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 9) "Strangers," by Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui (6.17) 8) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) Also I feel like bumping the Camila Cabello joint for the Lauren Jauregui joint is me drawing a line in the sand I wasn’t ready to draw. Please don’t hate me, the teens, I do not know what dramas have unfolded, what feels you have unfelt.

Who won?

So I actually did go through the weeks before I was reviewing 2007 releases, since I created a Google Sheet for YAS because, when my computer became unusable, I realized it was probably unwise to have just one file trapped inside one very bad computer. But since I put the stuff in spreadsheet form, it made week-by-week comps easier. As it turns our, 2007 got off to an early 3-0 lead, what with “And I Am Telling You,” “Candyman,” and “Jump to the Rhythm” all dropping in the first few weeks, but 2017′s been doin’ better as of late, thanks to two weeks where 2007 didn’t... it didn’t really do anything. 2017: 12 2007: 11 And that’s all the difference! 2007 crushed it this week, which is good, because the next few weeks look pretty bleak for ol’ 2007y. Good opportunity for 2017 to create some separation in this fake competition between two entities that have no sentience as they are arbitrarily determined measurements of time and not actual things. See y’all after seven sunsets.

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