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#also thinkking about maybe doing week 3 on sunday LMAO

onlyhuis · 5 months

Text

love thy neighbor

member — fwb! neighbor!joshua x f reader genre — smut, light angst, college au, idiots to lovers, happy ending word count — 5.1k synopsis — there's perks to having your fwb live next door to you, but there's also downsides. like the fact that it's really hard to hide that you're in love with him. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, one mention of periods, masturbation (both reader & joshua), the smut is REALLY quick, premature ejaculation sort of, a little bit of body worship, nicknames (baby, good girl), not really described but implied creampie, they are idiots and they are in love and it's gross and sweet notes — tysm to @wongyuseokie & @onlymingyus for help choosing the banner <3 and thanks to @petrichor-han for this idea !! fun fact this was originally going to be for skz han but i figured it would also make a great shua fic so i chose him instead. fun fact #2 i am addicted to giving shua's fics religious titles even when there's no mention of religion in the fic at all lmao. it gives me a giggle like how could i not when it fits so well?? also this is one of my few attempts at angst so if you liked this please reblog or send and ask and lmk how you liked it! hope you enjoy!!

joshua should be asleep right now.

really, he should. it’s 11pm on a sunday night and he’s got his chemistry lab at 8am tomorrow, and he’s still got a couple of assignments that he really needs to catch up on before the final next week.

but then there's that bump against the wall that he’s grown so accustomed to, and his eyes fly open.

maybe becoming fuck buddies with your next-door neighbor isn't the smartest idea he's ever had, because this is the fourth time this week he's had to hear your moans as he tries to fall asleep.

the walls are thin, but he's certain that you must not realize just how thin they are, because he can hear every sound you make as clear as day. every whimper, every buzz of your vibrator, even every moan of his name, barely muffled by the wall separating his room from yours. especially every moan of his name. and it’s been driving him insane.

really, it’s his own fault for trying to be a polite neighbor. he almost wishes that he hadn’t run into you when you’d moved into the apartment next door at the beginning of the semester, because then he probably wouldn’t have recognized you at that party during homecoming weekend and got to talking with you.

and because of that he probably wouldn’t have taken you home from said party and given you the best dicking down of your life (your words, not his), and then after that you probably wouldn’t have decided that you wanted to keep fucking him and agreed to become friends with benefits.

except he doesn’t actually wish that at all.

having your situationship live right next door is pretty convenient, after all. you’ll shoot him an “omw” text and be waiting at his front door seconds later. he forgot to bring condoms? it’ll just take a sec to run home and grab some. when you accidentally leave your panties in his apartment, he can drop them off the same day and then forget about it (he definitely won’t).

he could probably even just bang on his side of the wall and you’d know to come over, but to him that’s a little too far, too impolite. he at least has the decency to send a text first.

a part of him wonders if that’s why you’re so noisy at night, if you’re doing it on purpose and knowing he’ll hear it, secretly hoping for him to come knocking at your door. but he doesn’t want to assume, doesn’t want to show up without asking and realize he’s been completely wrong this whole time and make himself look like a fool.

so he settles for earplugs instead. because there’s no way he can sit there and listen to the sounds you make and not start thinking about all the times he’s been in your bed with you just inches away. and by the time he’s cum all over his fist and he’s finally worn himself out enough to fall asleep, it’s 4am and he has class in the morning and he’s wasted an entire night yet again.

he’s been inside your apartment dozens of times, enough to know the layout by heart. enough to know that your bedroom sits directly next to his, enough to know that your bed is pushed against that very thin wall the same way his is and that your nightstand with the drawer full of toys is right next to the bed.

oh, he’s gotten to know more than just your apartment over the course of the semester. he knows which positions are your favorite (you’ve never told him outright, but you always cum harder when he fucks you in missionary). he knows the names you like to be called and the ones you like to call him. he can even tell which vibrator you’re using right now (the red one doesn’t buzz as loud, so you only use it when your favorite purple one is dead. tonight you’re using the purple one.)

but he’s also gotten to know the way you smile when you see a cat video, the way your forehead wrinkles when you talk about your calculus professor, and the way you like your pancakes in the morning (though he’s never been able to make them for you himself, he swears one day he will. one slice of butter, a ton of syrup, and a handful of cut up strawberries.)

so maybe that’s what makes these nights so unbearable. he can keep lying to himself that it doesn’t bother him, that it wouldn’t bother him as much as it does if he just… didn’t like you.

but, unfortunately, he does like you. and he’s stuck with this problem until he finds a way to fix it, but just like in the lab analyses he has to write every week, he’s got no ideas. so he’ll have to settle for fucking his hand and biting his pillow so you don’t get suspicious of the noises he’s making, and hope that his silly little crush goes away on its own.

after all, he isn’t anything to you. albeit a sexual one, he’s still just a friend. and he’s certain that’s all you want.

god, you wish that joshua could see you right now. you’re certain he’d love it.

earlier tonight you’d had to physically force yourself to turn your phone off so that you wouldn’t be tempted to text him to come over. you’d already texted him on monday night and thursday afternoon, and you’d knocked on his door on saturday at practically the crack of dawn because you’d woken up thinking about him.

were you embarrassed about it? absolutely, but that wasn’t enough to stop you. okay, maybe sometimes it was, because the girl who lived across the hall had caught you (on multiple occasions) sneaking out of joshua’s apartment twice in one day and you refused to meet him again for nearly a week after that.

but joshua didn’t seem one bit embarrassed by your arrangement. he always gave you a friendly smile and offered to walk you to your door afterwards, which you always declined, and he always made sure to say he looked forward to seeing you again. you even saw him wave at the nosy neighbor girl when he’d left your apartment once (which you only remembered because you’d spent the rest of the night in tears about it, but not that you were jealous about it or anything).

you felt bad enough meeting up with him so often, but you felt even worse that you didn’t even have a label to show for it. you knew it was probably exactly what he’d wanted out of this, just somebody to call for a quick fuck, but it made you mad. it was why you got so angry about the girl across the hall; because you knew everybody loved joshua, so of course he couldn’t love only you.

he was hot and he was in a frat and he probably had a hundred girls he could call if he wanted to. with how often you text him to fuck, plus the other people he’s probably seeing? he’s gotta be exhausted.

which is why most nights you opt for touching yourself instead. in the months since you first met joshua, your vibrators have been going through batteries a lot faster than usual, a fact you’re not exactly proud of but will own up to nonetheless.

it’s not your fault that the image of him leaning over you, his thin gold chain dangling in your face as he fucks you is burned into your head practically 24 hours of the day. or the fact that his voice plays on repeat in your brain, specifically that one time he called you “baby” and you came so hard you nearly passed out.

so really, it’s actually his fault that he’s constantly on your mind. his fault for being sexy… or your fault for falling for him?

either way, you find yourself yet again with your pussy stuffed full of your own fingers and your favorite purple vibrator on your clit (you remembered to charge it last night, after you came to the thought of joshua fucking you on your kitchen counter), wishing he could be there to see it.

you close your eyes and picture him in front of you, holding the vibrator against your clit as he grins down at you. such a good girl, he’d say, brushing his thumb over your nipple with his free hand. you love this, don’t you?

“fuck, yes, joshua,” you reply, gasping as you push your fingers deeper inside. you arch off the bed a little, pushing your head back against your pillow. you’ve learned that he loves it when you call him by his full name instead of “shua” or “josh”; you don’t know why, but it always seems to drive him crazy, and you never fail to leave his apartment sore in all the best places afterwards.

you spread your legs a little wider and moan, rolling your cheek to the side as you imagine him fucking you with his fingers instead of your own. i can tell you’re getting close, imaginary joshua says with a smirk, his hand cupped against your pussy as he thrusts his fingers in and out at a bruising pace.

“mhm,” you whimper, curling your fingers and trying to convince yourself that it feels as good as when he does it. “please, joshua—”

you turn your vibrator up to the highest setting, your hips canting into the air as you squeeze your eyes tighter shut. you can feel the waves beginning to wash over you and you repeat his name like a plea, chanting it over and over until you can’t form words anymore.

cum for me, baby, all over my fingers, he says, and your mouth falls open as you let go, your knee accidentally smacking against the wall as your legs shake with pleasure. you keep your vibrator held firmly against your clit until it sends you over the edge again, still riding the high of your first orgasm as you struggle to breathe through it. joshua loves to overstimulate you, until all you can do is weakly push at his hands and beg him to leave your exhausted cunt alone.

the post-orgasm clarity soon starts to hit and you’re left with the realization that you just got off from pretending your neighbor is just as in love with you as you are with him. absolutely pathetic.

but your eyes are starting to droop and you’re quickly finding that you’re too tired to stay awake to think about how much of a loser you are, so you tuck your favorite vibrator back into its spot in your drawer and put your pajamas back on and tuck yourself into bed, trying not to wish joshua was there beside you instead of infinitely far away on the other side of the wall.

when joshua wakes up the next morning, he half expects you to be waiting outside his door again.

of course anyone would be annoyed at being woken up by their neighbor before 7am, but then you’d sheepishly told him that you’d had the most insane wet dream about him and he’d been more than happy to let you come in and bounce yourself on his lap while he watched the early morning sunlight stream through his bedroom window onto your cheeks.

pretty much the perfect morning, in his eyes, except for the fact that you hadn’t slept in his bed with him. you never sleep over and it’s obvious why, but maybe it’s for good reason: he won’t get so attached to you.

unfortunately, though, this morning you aren’t waiting for him, so he trudges to his kitchen to make himself one lonely cup of coffee and one lonely stack of frozen waffles and get ready for his day.

he’s started noticing patterns about when and why you text him, and he finds himself checking his phone all day.

on mondays, because you have all your classes on those days and you’re already exhausted so why not get fucked within an inch of your life before you settle in for the night?

on thursdays, usually in the afternoons because both your schedules happen to line up where he’s just finished his work shift and you’re on your break between classes so it leaves the perfect amount of time for him to eat you out.

if you have a particularly hectic morning you’ll text him right away and ask him if he’d come over once you get home that night, and he’ll reply that he can’t wait with a big red heart emoji.

in fact, most of the times you want to see him is when you’re stressed or upset, which makes sense to him but at the same time makes him a little disappointed. he hopes that you’d want to see him on your happiest days, because any day he gets to see you is automatically his happiest day. but he supposes that’s where you’ve drawn the line, and he’ll have to be okay with that.

joshua’s restless through his chem lab this morning, and then his english lecture, and then his shift at work, not-so patiently awaiting you to ask him about his plans tonight.

but you don’t text him at all on monday, and you don’t text him on tuesday, either. he catches you going into your apartment at the same time he’s leaving on wednesday, and he waves as usual but you just give him a small nod and hurriedly close your door behind you. he’s almost positive you’ll text him on thursday, but your lunch hour comes and goes without a word.

he almost never texts you first, because you text him so often and most of the time he’s already thinking about you anyway. so when sunday rolls around again and he still hasn’t heard anything from you, he thinks maybe you’re waiting for him to say something first this time.

he knows you’ve been home, because he’s heard your friends coming and going. maybe you’ve just been busy with other things and didn’t mean to ghost him. sure, you get together pretty often, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen every single week. plans change and that’s fine, and it is right before finals week after all.

but even when you’re on your period and aren’t in the mood to see him, you usually send a text as a heads up, and he’s definitely not keeping track or anything but this week shouldn’t be one of them. he’s going through every possibility he can think of as to why you’ve seemingly disappeared, but he just can’t find a reason why.

but then he realizes something else; he’s stopped hearing you at night, too. and then he really starts to worry, because he remembers how upset you looked when he saw you in the hall and maybe something really awful happened to you and he’s been pouting in his room like a selfish idiot this whole time.

so he pulls up your contact, cursor blinking over the text box as he tries to figure out what to say.

hey, he decides on, and he’s surprised but happy when you read the message right away.

he waits a moment, but you don’t respond, so he texts again. you can talk to me, you know? about other stuff. i’m your friend.

he shakes his head and deletes that last sentence before pressing send. you read it immediately again, but it’s a long and agonizing few minutes before you reply.

okay

he frowns, not knowing what to say back. did i do something and make you mad? you seem upset and i’m sorry.

it’s nothing. don’t worry

joshua wants to say, but i do worry, but he knows that might be too far and he’s still not even sure what’s wrong.

so instead he stands up and walks out his front door, leaving his phone on his bed. he may be an idiot, but the least he can do is try to act like your friend.

you don’t answer when he knocks, so he calls your name. “i know you’re home, i can hear you through the wall.”

finally the lock clicks, and you open your door just a crack. “what do you mean, you can hear through the wall?”

he pauses. “i can hear you… walking around, and stuff. making noise. the walls are thin.” so you really didn’t know? oh god, now he feels like an asshole for listening, even if he was trying not to.

“oh. well.” you sigh and close your eyes, inhaling. “that’s embarrassing.”

“can we talk?” joshua asks, suddenly feeling exposed. he’s plenty comfortable in large groups of people, but when he’s around you he wants to hold you tight and keep you secret and safe, out of sight of any wandering eyes. standing out in the hallway where anyone could hear is not how he’d like this to go.

“sure,” you mumble, swinging your door open for him to come inside.

you close the door but don’t move from behind it, standing like you’re waiting for him to say something. so he does.

“listen. i know whatever this is, is messy,” he starts, gesturing between the two of you. “but you’re my friend, and i care about you and i want you to be happy.” he sighs. “so please tell me what’s wrong, because not texting you has been really weird, and if you want to end this then that’s fine and i’ll leave you alone, but don’t just ghost me. we’re still neighbors and i’m not a fan of awkward hallway conversations.”

you crack a smile for a second, but it quickly fades. “do you want to end this?”

“no, not really. but i don’t want you to feel like you have to keep doing this if you don’t like it.”

“i thought it was pretty obvious i did like it,” you say with an almost laugh.

he stares at you quietly. “then what’s going on?”

“i want to keep doing this, but i just… i don’t think i can,” you say, avoiding his eyes. “at least not like this.”

“what do you mean, ‘like this’?”

“joshua, because i like you. and i feel awful because i know we’re not on the same page and it feels like i’m taking advantage of you because you probably have a dozen other women telling you the exact same thing and it’s probably exhausting and it’s not what you want!”

his face contorts in shock at your words. “well, first, that’s not at all true. and second of all, stop trying to guess what i want without just talking to me. what is it that you want?”

“you! i don’t know. i don’t know what i want anymore,” you say, covering your face with your hands.

joshua’s not sure if he should hug you or not, but he really, really wants to. “is that all that’s been bothering you this week?” he asks softly.

“yeah,” you say, moving your hands but still avoiding his eyes. “it’s stupid. i know, and i’m sorry.”

he laughs, and you look up at him like he’s crazy. “you don’t have anything to be sorry for,” he says. “i’m sorry. because for months i’ve been wishing we could change this but i never said anything because this is what i thought you wanted.”

you keep staring at him, but he can’t read the emotion on your face. “so… what is this, then?”

“i’ll be whatever you want me to be for you. your fuck buddy, or your friend, or your boyfriend, whatever.”

“you really don’t see other people?” you ask, still unsure.

now it’s joshua’s turn to look at you like you’re crazy. “no, why would i want to? i don’t care if you do, but with how often you text me it sounds like you don’t, either.”

“i just figured— nevermind,” you sigh.

“can i give you a hug?” he asks after a minute. “we’ve been sleeping together the whole semester, and i don’t think i’ve ever given you a real, proper hug.”

you smile, and seeing that instantly makes his day. “yes, please.”

his arms feel secure around you, and his chest is warm against your cheek. with a sigh you close your eyes, breathing in the smell of his cologne that you’ve been trying to push out of your brain for weeks.

you stand there for a while, neither of you making any moves to pull away. it's been a really, really long week without joshua and you didn’t realize how badly you missed him until this moment.

“so about the walls thing—”

“hm?” he mumbles.

“—you can really hear everything?”

he laughs. “oh, yeah. your bedroom is right next to mine. been having trouble sleeping for so long because i kept hearing you moan my name and it got me hard every time.”

your cheeks burn in embarrassment. “joshua, i’m so sorry! if i had known—”

he shakes his head, cutting you off. “you can make it up to me by telling me everything you were thinking about.”

“probably nothing you don't already know,” you grin shyly.

“probably, but i wanna hear you say it anyway.”

you lean away from him a little bit, releasing your arms from around him to rest against his chest. “i should've known this is why you wanted to come over,” you say, pretending to be mad, but you can already feel the tingling feeling building up in your stomach at the thought.

“it's not,” he replies smoothly, “but i did miss waking up to you knocking on my door.”

you pout. “that was only that one time!”

“doesn't mean it has to be the last.”

heat creeps up into your cheeks and you glance away from him, gaze trained on his shoulder.

“you really wanna know what i was thinking about?” you ask, finally building up the courage to look back up at his face.

“of course i do.” his eyes are sparkling as he watches you, and you can't exactly identify the emotion but you know it makes your heart flutter.

“well,” you start, “it was different every time, but most of the time it started like this.” you trail your hands down his torso, pausing when they reach his hips. he stays silent, eyes fixed on your movements and a little smile on his face that you don't think he even realizes he's doing.

“and then…” you look down, a little surprised to notice the bulge in his pants already there. you place your hand over him gently and look up, waiting for him to say something, but he doesn't stop you.

you clear your throat and start again. “and then, you'd sit on the couch and let me gag on your cock for a while.”

you start to push on his hips, backing him into your living room. he’s enjoying this way more than he should be, but then again, you basically just confessed your love to him so it’s kind of the best day of his life.

the back of his thighs hits the arm rest of your couch, but before you can move him any further his hands pull you flush against his body, his bulge pressing into your stomach.

“how about we skip that part for another day?” he says, his voice low. “tell me what happens after.”

you try your best to hold back a moan, suddenly losing your ability to speak. you can practically feel his cock throbbing through his clothes and it makes it impossible to come up with a coherent sentence.

“don’t get shy on me now, baby,” he hums, hands still firmly gripping your hips, and if your brain hadn’t short-circuited already then it definitely has now. “been hearing you in your room for weeks, i know how loud you like to be.”

“that’s not fair,” you finally manage, still trying to collect your thoughts.

joshua leans forward to kiss your neck, gently at first but quickly growing harsher, and you’re sure he can feel your pulse jump every time his teeth graze your skin.

“fuck, just like that,” you whimper, “exactly like that, shua—”

after a minute he hums and glances up at you through his lashes, clearly waiting for you to keep talking.

“we’d make out for a while, and then you—you’d fuck me on the floor,” you gasp out. joshua moans against your skin, and it’s only then that you realize your hands have found their way to his hair, tugging on it to urge him on.

your fingers loosen and he pulls away, the corners of his lips wet with saliva. “on the floor? you deserve better than that, baby,” he tsks. “can i take you to bed instead?”

“please,” you whine softly, suddenly feeling unbearably eager to fuck him. all week you’ve been using every last ounce of your energy to avoid thinking about joshua, but now that he’s here in front of you and way too willing to play into your fantasies, all the emotions you’ve been holding in are spilling out, and you don’t feel like containing them anymore.

you grab his hand and it’s like you can’t make it to your room fast enough, falling onto your bed and pulling him down on top of you. by then you’ve both forgotten the conversation you were having before because you’re too busy desperately pressing your lips against his, barely remembering to breathe as he kisses you and kisses you and kisses you and what were you even talking about again?

your brain is clouded when he finally pulls away with a gasp, kissing your cheek and your neck once more. his hands slip beneath your shirt and tug it over your head, making his way between your breasts and down your stomach and leaving more kisses as he goes. your skin burns with each touch, gentle lips and not-so-gentle hands covering every inch of you until you feel like your whole body is on fire.

he sits up just long enough to pull his own shirt off and now it’s your turn to touch, your hands instantly finding his chest as you trace your fingertips down his abs.

“how do you want me?” joshua groans, his hands joining yours at his hips to help him push his pants to the ground.

“fuck… missionary? just like this?” you say as you kick your pants and panties off in a rush, wrapping your legs around his waist.

his cock brushes against your stomach and you sigh out a moan, your hands moving up to grab at his biceps. he doesn’t say another word as he runs his tip through your folds, his attention fixated on your pussy and how you’re already dripping for him. for a second he forgets where he is and what he’s doing, so engrossed with the sight of you and how fucking glad he is that he didn’t lose you because you’re both idiots that assume too much about what the other wants instead of communicating your feelings like normal adults.

you let out a little noise and his eyes flick back up to your face, his gaze immediately softening at the blissful expression on your face. to think, he could’ve been seeing you like this the whole time if he had the balls to admit how he felt sooner. but there’s plenty of time for him to pout about it later because right now you need him, and he needs you, too, so why waste time thinking about that when he can think about how good you look taking his cock?

he leans down because he can’t resist kissing your beautiful face one more time, and finally he pushes into you, letting out a loud whine at the same time you moan his name. the sound of your voices joined together goes straight to his dick as he pulls almost all the way out, thrusting back into you with renewed energy.

“baby— fuck,” he groans, his grip on your body tightening as his thrusts begin to grow faster and rougher. “so good to me.”

you clench hard around him at the nickname, clinging onto him as you squeeze your eyes shut.

and then without warning everything hits you all at once, and you go boneless in his arms as he whimpers and groans and gasps and holds you tight and he probably told you he loves you about a million times as he was cumming too but you can’t hear anything as you lay exhausted on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with your ears ringing.

even with his shaking hands you can still feel the gentleness in joshua’s touch as you start to come back down, the warmth of his breath on your cheek as his fingers lightly brush your hair out of your face, feeling him twitch inside you before he slowly pulls out.

with his own orgasm following just barely after yours that was probably some kind of record for the fastest round ever, but you don’t even have the strength to care. so what if he usually fucks you for hours on end? all you care about is the fact that he’s tracing your collarbones with a fucked-out little smile on his face and it’s probably the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

with a soft grunt he stands up, and you call out his name with all the energy you have left.

“joshua?”

“mhm?”

“can you stay?” you ask, and somehow you both know you’re talking about more than just for the next few minutes.

he smiles. “wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.” and when he comes back with a towel and a wet wipe and apologizes for how fast it all was and promises to give you more whenever you want because he’s officially yours now, you know he’s telling the truth.

even when he’s doing nothing at all, joshua never fails to make your head spin.

laying in the dark with you, his fingers absentmindedly twirling your hair as you snuggle into his chest, you can’t even begin to find the words to explain how good it feels knowing he loves you and you love him back.

but it doesn’t seem like he needs words right now. all he needs is you.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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sunbloomdew · 9 months

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Listen. Listen. All of Step 4 versions could canonically take place during the same summer, right next to each other. Derek's Step 4 takes place first. Father's day in America is on the third Sunday in June, so in 2021 that would be June 20th.

Moms wedding anniversary is referenced multiple times in Derek's Step 4, as an event happening a few weeks later.

Then Cove's Step 4 takes place during the anniversary, a few days before and after the event. Taking the estimated time period, their party would be happening in June, i'd say around the middle of the month, maybe closer to the beginning.

Derek makes an appearance here too!

(i actually had to speed replay cove's step 4 cause i had no, and i mean no screeshots from it lmao. that was before i learned that you can make screeshots through steam and don't have to do it MANUALLY sigh)

Then we have the last Step 4 version, the events of Baxter DLC.

I'm assuming the Adams' wedding takes place sometime in August, probably also in the middle, but leaning towards the end of the month.

So hypothetically speaking, MC could canonically participate in all of these events.

All THAT to say: imagine meeting Xavier in Baxter's Step 4 after first meeting them in Derek's Step 4, and them being like "Oh, hi MC! Good to see you again :D" with Baxter looking so confused sdhfjkshfsjk

That's right, it was a Xavier post all along! You got tricked! Xavier DLC when 👀

Just kidding, but i'm living for this version of events. And just in general, it's nice to imagine everything happening, even if it's not possible in the game itself. I headcanon it all happening, it's so fun to think about <3

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whorekneecentral · 2 years

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kinktober - day 29 - wax play // l.s18

Lance Stroll x Fem!Reader

Warnings: alcohol and the consumption of, a little mishap with a candle, lance and his besties together for his birthday, wax play, nipple play, penetrative sex, creampie.

Word Count: 1,447

Author’s Note: okay once again, sorry for the delay + this is sorta birthday centric cause it’s his birthday today lmao -- this might be nonsense I'm hopped up on tylenol and orajel lmao // also sorta proof read sorry :)

kinktober 2022 masterlist

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Lance stumbled into a drunken thought after his birthday party and the next day, he’s unable to get it out of his head.

“No, hold on.” You call, the lit candle in your hand. You were trying to get Esteban to move the napkins from near the cake before the candles caught on them.

“Do we have enough candles?” Elena asks, coming from the kitchen with another package.

“I think so,” Mick says, counting the candles on the cake.

Lance sat there patiently waiting for everyone to be done fussing so he could blow out the candles and cut his birthday cake. It was currently Sunday afternoon, after the race. Lance's birthday was on Saturday which was yesterday but because of qualifying, and the next day being race day, they weren't able to do anything together.

All of their flights were leaving Tuesday seeing that they have a week off to rest so tonight would be to party.

The Aston Martin crew had cut a cake for him Saturday before qualifying but he and his friends along with their girlfriends decided to celebrate together post race by cutting a cake and having a little party at an Airbnb in Mexico City.

It was Esteban and Elena as well as Mick and Justine, even Sebastian had popped in for a bit with Hanna before they head out for their reservations. The candle in your hand was lit and you had moved back to get something and you bumped into the chair, the candle dropped and the hot wax hit your thigh.

“Ow!” You rub your thigh, Lance looks over at you. “Are you okay?” He asks you and you nod, “I'm fine, just a little burn. Didn’t even hurt.”

“Are we ready?” Esteban asks, counting the candles; all 24 on the perfectly iced cake.

“One second,” you tell him, getting your phone before FaceTiming someone. You say hello to your sister in law, Chloe and her fiancé, Scotty. You flip the camera so they can see and then you'll begin to sing happy birthday.

Esteban and Mick lead the count, asking him how old he was until they got to 24.

Lance blows out his candles and he cuts the cake.You feed him a piece and then feed him one more on behalf of his sister.

Everyone sort of spreads out after that; Elena and Justine decide to stay inside because it’s sticky and hot out but the 3 boys are on the back desk, having a beer to unwind. You were in the kitchen cutting a piece of cake to give to Sebastian and Hanna, seeing that they had to go.

“Are you sure you can’t stay?” You ask, following them to the door.

“Maybe, we’ll stop by after dinner.” Hanna says with a smile. “No worries,” you return the smile, “you guys have fun. Oh! and try the dulce de leche cake, I hear it's fantastic.”

“We will,” Sebastian says, giving you a hug after Hanna does. “You guys have fun too.” He says and you wait by the door, waving them goodbye as he pulls out.

On the back deck, Lance seemed distracted. Esteban nudges Mick and they look over at their friend, “what’s wrong?” Esteban asks him.

“Nothing.” Lance takes a sip of his beer, the liquid gone warm now and he grimaces at the taste. Mick’s brows furrow, “c’mon man, we know you. What’s on your mind?” He asks his friend.

“Nothing, just thinking about y/n.”

“What about her?” Esteban pokes, earning a smile from his friend. “Just.. well the candle fell on her.” Lance says.

Mick sighs, “she's fine, Lance. I’ve seen her walk into a door and apologize to it.” He laughed.

Lance rolled his eyes, laughing. “That was once and she was drunk, she gets a pass.”

No one except Lance seems to notice the look on your face when the candle hits your thigh. The little hint of excitement that flashed across your face made Lance wonder if that was something you were into. He’d never thought about it nor did he ever ask about it.

The night wrapped up that much longer after that. Esteban and Elena, along with Mick and Justine, decide to head back to their hotels for the night, leaving you and Lance alone for the night.

Your boyfriend dropped back onto the couch, you had a candle burning on the table, the house smelling of cinnamon and apples. His eyes fixed on the glass jar on the coffee table, your hair raking through his thick hair.

“Penny for your thoughts birthday boy?” You ask.

He smiles, “my thoughts are worth more than a penny.”

“Oh sorry,” you laughed, “not all of us have a rich daddy to give us money.”

“Don’t hassle me on my birthday.” Lance pouts and you laugh, leaning down to kiss him. Lance pulls you on top of him, your arms over his neck as you sit on his lap, your lips on his. Your boyfriend’s hands rests on your ass, pulling you forward, your chest pressed to his.

“I was thinking,” he mumbles against your lips. “About?” you ask, your hand resting on his jaw.

“You know when you dropped the candle on your leg.. did it hurt?”

“A little but a.. good hurt.”

“I thought so.” He hums and your brows furrow, “why?” You ask.

Lance scoots you off his lap, his hands reaching for your shirt. He helps you take your top off before he reaches for the candle. You look at your boyfriend hesitantly, “can I try something?” He asks.

You look at him, a little unsure. “Uh-” “Do you trust me?” His eyes find yours.

You nod, “of course I do.”

Lance lets you lay back, he tips the candle over your torso and lets the hot wax drip onto you slowly. He can’t help but admire the way your back arches at the feeling or the sound that leaves your mouth.

“Oh,” you sigh, your eyes closed.

“You like that?” He asks, setting the candle down. You hum, satisfied as you

His hand reaches under you to unhook your bra, letting it drop to the floor. You look at your boyfriend, watching as he kisses down your chest, over your tits before his lips wrap around your nipple, tongue lapping over it.

Your hand tangles in his hair, his name falling from your lips. You feel him shift, his hand dropping to pick up the candle once more and without warning, he lets the warm wax drip over your tits, the red liquid drying against your skin.

“You’re having too much fun.” You giggle, sitting up. He smiles, his arms behind his head as he watches you drop your skirt, the black fabric pooling around your ankles.

You climb back onto his lap, unbutton his shirt for him. Lance's hand drops down, smacking your ass. “You’re such a dork.”

“It’s my birthday, indulge me.”

“Don’t I always.”

You’re up on your knees, hovering over his lap, your hands under you as you undo his pants. Lance helps you, pulling them down enough for you to sink down onto him. Your hand rests on his shoulder, giving you a moment to gather yourself before starting to bounce on his lap.

Lance’s hand stays on your hip, his firm grasp keeping you in place as you rock back and forth. You reach behind him to grab the candle, pouring the wax over his bare chest.

The red stood out in comparison to his pale skin, Lance smiles when you do. “You’re right,” he mumbles, glancing down to watch how your finger smudges the almost tacky wax around his chest.

“Aren't I always?”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“Don’t need to,” you say, leaning in to kiss him. “I’m always right.”

You rock your hips forward and Lance’s head drops back into the couch, his eyes fluttered closed. “Fuck, you’re perfect.” His hand pats your hip, “made just for me.” He tells you, your lips on his neck -- a trail of marks and sloppy kisses being left along his neck.

Lance can feel the way you were clenching around him and he knew you were close; you knew he was close, his eyes closed and head back.

“C’mon,” you whisper to him, your lips by his ears. “Cum for me, baby.”

You’re on top of Lance, your arms wrapped over his shoulders as you both come down from the high. Your cheek pressed to his, “best, birthday, ever.” He says, laughing.

A hand on his cheek, you smile at him when you pull back a bit. “Let’s take a shower hm?”

“No, no need to move.” He says, wrapping his arms around you.

“Happy birthday baby,” you whisper to him, kissing his cheek.

----

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#kinktober - anj's version #kinktober 2022 #lance stroll #lance stroll smut #lance stroll x reader

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1941-crowley-slut · 8 months

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Rant incoming

I cannot STAND how my mom talks to me about church when she wants me to go.

For context, we obviously stopped going during covid so we were away for 2-3 years and though she watched the live broadcast every Sunday, I didn't. In fact I always deliberately left the room at that time to stay away from it. At some point I told her I don't believe anymore (honestly I remember having doubts and questions (Crowley coded lmao) since I was a kid but 11-12 is where it really just set in that I don't have that kind of faith). She didn't take ir horribly bad but told me at the time she'd like it if I still joined her at church sometimes. Which, fine. Okay.

Fast forward to when she is actually going back to church and just throws on me the news that I am going too. Doesn't ask, just tells me I'm going. And I'm pissed as fuck the whole day after that, to the point that when she asks me to find my clothes for church I actually just keep looking at my closet and want to tear everything apart. I really avoid conflicts with my mother but this one had me. I was PISSED. So when she finally asked what was going on I told her "I don't want to go". And it wasn't so much that I wasn't willing to do it for her, it's that I felt she had no regard for my beliefs and just wanted her way. A

And funnily enough, she did. Because the reponse to that was: "I know, but I'd already told you I want you to come with me sometimes. Is it so terrible, you can't even make this one little sacrifice for your mother?"

Not me being guilt tripped, but anyway. I don't remember the end of that conversation but I remember other times. Once again for context, I was in 12th grade the year that passed and it was incredibly difficult study-wise. I had 6-7 hours of school every day, then anywhere from 2-5 hours of extra studies (sometimes almost immediately) and then I also had to do homework for both school and extra studies (seperate) and a lot of it was learning things by heart, plus we had tests and exams all the time like ALL the time, some weeks I'd have 5 tests in 3 days and I was going insane. Plus on extra studies we wrote exams on Saturdays. So it was all very very hectic and mom knew that and she was very awesome for the most part, but when it came to church she just didn't. Listen. To me.

She would go "You'll come this Sunday because the next weeks will be harder for you" but the matter of the fact was, she didn't know what weeks were harder for me. She thought for xyz reasons that later it'd be worse, but in reality the times she wanted me to go i was drowning in work and getting anxiety attacks and mental breakdowns cause everything was so much. Too much. And I'd say something like "Well this week's pretty bad" and expect her to get the hint but she'd go "it's just one hour in the morning, how important is it really, you probably wouldnt even be studying then"

(Not to mention it's not really 1 hour cause I need like an hour just to wake up and get ready, then 20 minute drive, the service was either 1 or 1 and a half hours, then it was however long chatting up with all the church people, another 20 minute drive home and then I was tired and we would have lunch and I just wanted to relax and sleep etc etc. So it wasnt at all just an hour. And maybe even if I hadn't gone to church that day, it'd still be afternoon and I wouldn't have gotten started on any work. But at least I would have spent some time for myself and then would force myself to work. But anyway again)

She just does this thing where she doesn't even ask or give me the illusion of a choice. Cause the truth is that church is usually not that bad, I can deal with it, it's fine. But I hate it just because she makes me feel forced to go. If she was just like "Hey, could you come with me to church this Sunday? I'd like that" I would be much happier to go. I know she doesn't want to be by herself and that she worries about what the church peoole will think (which pisses me off as well but thats another story), I don't mind keeping her company. But I mind when she suddenly springs it on me on Saturdays that "We're going to church tomorrow" and even if I show my discomfort with it she's like "Well you have to come sometimes."

And she just she has this way that I don't understand that when she says anything related to me going to church (e.g. "Find your clothes for tomorrow to see if anything needs to be ironed"), she says it in this firm tone and so suddenly that you just even subconsciously know you have no say in this. I don't get to react to this or have an opinion, it's just something I have to do. Because she said so. And if I was to try and react, she'd circle right back to guilt-tripping me (which at this point would be really funny because I have been trying lately to help her in every way I can so it's not like "You do everything for me and I'll do this small favor for you by coming with you", I have been offering to help with chores, I've been offering to learn stuff I dont know how to do so I can help her around the house, I have been helping as far as I can. But nonetheless I know this will end badly if I try to argue)

Anyway yeah it's just. I'm tired. At first I thought it was her desperate attempt to get me back into the church, to make me believe again. Now, though I still think she clings onto some hope about that, I also believe she thinks I'm too far gone for that and really just wants me there for company and for the eyes of the world, so none of the people know I'm not a believer anymore and supposedly think of her as a failed mother.

I'd just like to be counted like an equal person in here. Especially what with reaching adulthood and all. Like she actually scolded me when I said "I'd like to go out with my friends" and waited for their approval, because she said I was just making announcements and she wants me to ask next time. Even though I was still essentially waiting for them to say yes or no, I wasn't announcing anything. And she's said this before too, I'd leave for extra studies a little earlier sometimes to go get bubble tea and I'd tell her and then she'd go "I want you to ask beforehand". Why? She wasnt even home, no one was, and I would've left like 30 minutes later anyway cause I had to, what's the big deal? Or is it just about being controlled, hm? Is it that she can't watch me be an independent person? Feels like it.

Anyway my point was I have to literally ask for everything, like with a "Can I" and a question mark and all, because "We might have something else planned" (which as I said, if they had something planned for us to do would they not tell me? And either way, if something came up I'd just tell my friends I couldn't hang out after all cause something came up and it'd be fine. But no, she insisted.) but when it comes to me she just says "You're coming" and that's it and I HATE it. I HATE IT.

If she thinks she's bringing me closer to church this way someone tell her she couldn't be more wrong.

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bleachbleachbleach · 2 months

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2/24 - 3/2/2024

For the last couple months, I've been working my way through Pravesh Bhardwaj's favorite short stories of 2023, and not enjoying a lot of them. Maybe Bhardwaj and I just have different taste, but I kept thinking to myself, "so what? why did we just spend this time with these characters?" or, alternately, grating at the "reveals," because I kept receiving them as weirdly trite. Trite in ways that I guess I don't associate with contemporary fiction. Like, ohhh he killed the friend for drugs! or She was in a mental hospital! Like, what is this, an episode of Law and Order?

But there is also a voice inside me that's like, I think you're reading these uncharitably, because these writers aren't stupid and don't seem like the type to condescend to the sensational and probably aren't actually doing that. Maybe it's YOUR brain failing to read for nuance. And in the case of "spending time with these characters," I was like, what am I wanting, exactly? A plot? A thesis? The former doesn't sound like me; I almost never read anything for the plot. As for theses, maybe?? But it's not like I wanted some heavy-handed symbol or Meaning-Laden Scene to come bursting through the door like the Kool-Aid Man. I like reading things that are just studies of a character's life. "People sitting around" is my favorite genre. I still felt like I kept coming up short after reading them, though, like, is that it? Is there no meaning to this? (Am I blind to the meaning? Am I blinding myself because I'm imposing some rigid set of expectations or "shoulds" onto things instead of reading openly and with some semblance of intelligence?)

I thought maybe I just don't want a short story right now, and need something longer. I really enjoyed the novella Make it Black by Andre Dubus III, which really is just a lady sitting with people and driving around. But even then, toward the end I felt like the meaning got a little too pointed, even though I've been grumbling this whole time about the ~meaning of it all not being pointed enough.

But then I was like, oh, lmao, you know what all of this actually sounds like? I'M PROBABLY JUST DEPRESSED AND BURNT OUT. (Cue realization hitting as though these things haven't been true for years, albeit manifested in ways other than these very specific ruminations on short stories.)

Writing-wise, I can only hope that what I am writing is also secretly good, like those short stories probably are. I didn't write very much this week, though I read the aforementioned Make it Black, and Chapters 86-88 of Bleach. I did write for a couple hours yesterday, which was a decent enough time. I found myself wanting to write a lot this week, and then not doing it. In addition to my generally just being a wet husk of a person, this week has been acutely sad. My sister had to put her dog to sleep on Sunday, so this week I've spent most of my free time energy being sporadically weepy about that and trying to send my sister long-distance love. It's one of those things where I was like, god, I really want to write, because I want to process this grief through fanfic. But after going to job-work and doing the laborious work of Being Sad, I was just like, I am too exhausted to do anything else, I barely did THOSE things.

I was struggling to remember what, exactly, I wrote yesterday--because it continues to be drop-in scenes in the Hisagi chapter--but it looks like it was some overwrought Hisagi thoughts about Matsumoto I'll probably delete, some Hitsugaya paragraphs that took 19 years to write apiece, some jinzen lore, and this exchange between Hisagi and Rukia:

“We’re not going anywhere. No one’s going anywhere. Just rest,” Hisagi says. How he manages to make the truth sound so unconvincing is beyond him. There’s an unbridled terror in her eyes that Hisagi does not know how to handle. The 4th makes it look so easy.

Kuchiki locks onto Hisagi. Maybe she can see his terror, too. He watches as hers closes itself behind an impassive mask, eyes hardening into dark stones. She, too, makes it look easy, though the green tinge to her cheeks and the new beads of sweat at her brow, already weeping down her temples, betray her.

“The thing I did with the hell butterfly. That’s what you’re feeling. It should help. It will help.” Hisagi tries to sound as reassuring as possible.

Kuchiki looks less than reassured, though more put out by the notion than terrified by it. So there’s that.

"In the Living World, Kurosaki Isshin is a human doctor. But I also saw him successfully operate on a dog once," Kuchiki informs him. “He was very good at it. Even so, I don’t know that I would expect a dog doctor to operate on a human.”

It’s unclear whether the statement is encouragement or insult, but Hisagi has published enough Kuchiki poetry to know that it is likely intended as both.

“Akon handled the actual surgery,” Hisagi offers.

This Kuchiki cannot be won over. “Perhaps it would suffice if it were Ichigo. If Ichigo needed the operation, I mean. He’s very good at that.”

“At... being a dog?”

“At enduring what he’s given.”

#stories for the sea

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ickmick · 7 months

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Inktober days 6-10 <3

so... I said that doc drawing would be in this one, but it's not! I totally forgot... but it'll be in next week's post LOL

everything is under the cut since this'll be a long post! enjoy, and happy spooky month!

oh, and heres last weeks post!

I only list the prompts I used that day, here's the key for acronyms n such;

wh = welcome home

hc = hermitcraft (I have 2!)

ink = official inktober

gore = goretober

(actual gore will be triggerwarned! so far none has any blood or violence!)

Day 6

hc: moon

this is 100 percent another self indulgent jump! my first full attempt at drawing pearl! I love her! Ive done some doodles for the traffic series before, but thats about it. I didn't finish that pose here... but maybe after october!

Day 7 (VAUGE GORE WARNING)

hc: explosion

gore: gutspill

this was a very low spoons day! I think the little cat (me!) explosion is funny though. for some reason I can't get a great picture for this one, but erm... I tried lol

I also didnt really draw anything actually all so gorey, but the sketch implications are there, so I put the warning still!

Day 8

hc: outfit swap

I was also going to include the group/team prompt, but alas, my spoons! dear mumbo did not get a spot on this day... I also kept the features vauge because I just wanted to have fun with the clothes fit XD

(can you see the buttercup flowers? those aren't swapped, haha... I love the buttercups !! )

Day 9

hc: first hermit watched / food (?)

gore: posion (sorta of!)

Ive watched Grian from the Olden™ build tutorial/battle era and rps with Sam and Taurtis! he holds an important role in my childhood/creative life, and has continued to inpire me :D

also, it's very funny to me that I drew the silly bit, and then the next day watched his deck out wk 3 video only to cackle as he says the line! "Grian will remember that" funny timing...

Day 10

hc: fav hermit friendship / fav group/duo

life: insanity (uh oh)

the buttercups!! mumbo is so out of place here, but I was first just doing some good old desertduo, before remembering the tall spoon was already left out two days before! I couldn't possibly do it again, so I drew a happy buttercup Mumbo <3

is he a vampire? a gargoyle, perhaps? some other creature? who knows! not me, that's for sure! but I do know he has little fangs and slightly pointed ears!

(I-dont-love-that-thats-the-last-one-but-its-fine-lmao)

I Talked so unbelievably much this time! oops! :3

as I said last week, I'll be coming back at the end of october to pick doodles/sketches to finish/polish! so let me know if theres one youd like to see me come back to!

now to return to my foresty cave until next Sunday! /j

week three, week fours, week 5.1s, and the last post (5.2)!

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thompsborn · 6 months

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this may sound unreasonably dramatic but I just wanted to say that for the past like few weeks I’ve not been very well, physically or mentally (doing a lot better now :) ) and the thing that’s honestly kept me most positive has been your posts about hb as well as the thought of a new chapter, so thank you for writing because it really does do good :)

this is so bonkers to me but also i promise i don’t think it’s unreasonably dramatic!! i’m 23 now and don’t do this as much as i used to, but from the ages of literally 12-20 media and fanfiction and youtubers were my coping mechanisms. life was really rough in a lot of ways (became disabled at 14, parents separating due to mom having a schizophrenic break, dad getting a new girlfriend who turned out to be a manipulative piece of shit, got two baby siblings who i love with my entire heart but also basically had to help raise until moving out, i could go on for a Very Long Time lmao) and i literally relied on movies and shows and youtubers and video games and So Much Fanfiction, whether mine or other peoples, to just. enjoy something? because it was hard to find things to enjoy a lot of the time but those thing’s genuinely made me happy on days where nothing else did.

i get it, is what i’m saying. and it’s absolutely insane to think that my dumb little fanfic (“little” literally gonna be about 175k words when i post the last chapter lmao) can do that for you but i’m VERY very honored and flattered to be able to provide that

i haven’t made much progress on ch 16 since sunday but this ask is very motivating. i’ll see if i can finish it tonight. maybe not, but i’ll try <3

#homeward bound fic #lowkey in tears in the bathroom at work lmaoooo

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dreadofthegrave · 9 months

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augh. whinging about life events

this is something that would be in a circle in twitter dot corn but i don't have circles here so i will simply put it under a readmore and assume that anyone who doesnt care will simply scroll by as i gen hope they will <3

anyways. last week was vacation and coming back from vacation i got thrown in the metaphorical frying pan. person who was supposed to be watching the house fucked off w/o telling us thursday afternoon (we came back sat night) leaving our cats and her cats (inc. a 5 month old kitten in a separate room) alone. which the other cats would have been fine alone for a few days but the litterboxes were full which makes me suspect she did not clean up before she left. kitten was left with no water and no food (she gave him food but he scarfed it down immediately. because he's A Kitten) and she had the audacity to try to lie to us!! about when she left when we straight up had proof from the security system logs that she was gone for longer than she said she was <3333

did i mention this girl is supposed to be living with us for a few more weeks lol lmao

we spent an hour and a half cleaning the house from the misc toilet and vomit stains around after having already driven a collective 7 hours home from our vacation spot.

we grilled her pretty hard after she came back sunday nite at like 9:30 pm and she kinda gave a half hearted apology and i emphasized that. i agreed to the kitten staying over (which she had thrown on me like. night before we leave) (she adopted the kitten the weekend we left for vacation) with the agreement that she would be taking 100% care of him which she was Not.

and then she fucked off again for all of monday. i think she stayed monday night but she was gone the next morning. she also sprang on me monday nite that "oh do you mind if i stay at my friends house the days i have work because it's closer to my workplace" (by a magnitude of like. hours) and i said yeah because it was LATE and i was WORKING the next day so i didnt have the energy to have a long conversation. i shouldn't have said yes.

she was gone all tues and wed. she didn't have work today so she should have come back to my house but she didn't because she was with her mom. didn't tell us that btw.

now it is thurs night she's probably going to arrive back way too late for me to have a conversation with her because i go to bed early. because i wake up early for work. my sister called her and had a long convo and i sent her a text message saying the kitten has to be gone by the end of this weekend because my sister and i have been taking care of HER KITTEN this entire week basically. when i already gave her a warning for being negligent with the kitten.

tired of hearing the kitten yowling the whole day because my sister and i are both busy and we can't play with him. me because i have my desk job my sister because she's prepping for her job starting next week. regardless ITS THIS GIRLS KITTEN NOT OURS THAT WE DIDN'T AGREE TO TAKE CARE OF

i haven't even broached the topic of payment because i expected to charge her rent for the couple of weeks she was living with us but since she's only been here like. a grand total of 8 hours (when she wasn't watching the house the week we were gone) should i just charge her for using our house as a boarding house for her cats. lol. lmao. im getting some payment out of this even if i have to bug her for it

all that aside. getting grilled at work for things partially my fault and partially not my fault and feeling indignant about it. got told i wasn't communicating well enough when i have been responding to every single silly little email that was sent to me so idk. maybe check your inbox then? anyways i have to finish a report tomorrow i've been putting off for. a disgustingly long time so this is a situation i put myself in but im still mad and stressed about it

good thing i talk to my therapist tmmrw because im just gonna be like hi :) the shit hit the fan my dude

oh as an aside my brain has been bad enough this week that i decided to take a break from twitter since i figured spending my limited free time endlessly scrolling through a collapsing social media site wasn't helping my brain trying to self-cannibalize. tumblr is. Okay. for now. debating filling my queue and leaving for x amount of time but for now i need some outlet

what else. had an onslaught of flies in the house this week. killed about 20 or 30 tuesday and wednesday. thankfully there seemed to be a lot less today so i'm hoping it was just a freak accident and not a serious problem. clothes dryer has been broken (still turns, but no heat) for three weeks now. repairman has stopped by three times with a fourth time coming. i'm about ready to pull the plug after the next time he comes and just buy a new dryer even if that's going to be $$$$ because... it's an old dryer. maybe its time is just up

didn't mean for this post to be so long LMAO if you made it this far you get a picture of harley (my mom's cat). i just gotta make it through this week [pained smile]

NINJA EDIT BECAUSE AS I WAS TYPING THIS UP THERE WAS A NEW KITTEN DEVELOPMENT. after i texted her she got upset enough to decide to drive to our house and pick up the kitten and leave which i mean. lol. lmao. i gave you a warning and you decided to still fuck off so that's not my fault at this point. she's still an hour away so i will probably be going to bed when she comes home. don't have it in me to have another 10pm serious conversation lol lmao lol

#living dead text

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hollyhomburg · 2 years

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OH MY GOD I KNEW IT I CALLED IT!!! I WAS LIKE "okay jin is working late, but hes in the fbi and knows about yoongi, so hes working late maybe because of yoongi and the pack/mob," then "jimin would know whos in yoongis family because hes an assassin, so hes gonna miss someone coming in because hes not facing the door. who from yoongis family is gonna pop in" anyway welcome to my brain, sorry, you literally have had this planned out you didnt need my inner thought process hahaha. i absolutely loved this chapter, from jimin being possessive and the mc and jimin living on tae, to tae's poem, it was lovely. i love how you wrote jimin reacting to the poem: "i didnt know tae wanted to be beautiful" or something like that, just, your writing is fantastic and vivid and lovely, you write love and falling in love so beautifully. ive never been in love and dont know if i will (lmao) but this made me feel like i have been?? and the way that you wrote tae's poem is beautiful, it ties into everything about the mc and the love they have for tae and the love tae has for the mc. also the bar they went to was so vivid in my head, it was great. and JACKSON HAHAHAHAHAHA amazing, love love love.

thank you for two updates in one weekend, im sure it was exhausting and tiring and mentally not great, so thank you for all if your hard work, it has surely paid off. hopefully you can get some rest!!! thank you again!! i hope you have a nice rest if your sunday and a nice week!!

hmmmmmm this ask makes me curious what people are going to think when the finally find out what's keeping jin occupied 👀

i think one of the things that im afraid of like- for the characters- like when i tell you that Jimin has absolutely zero idea about tae being trans...Jimin has no clue. that reaction- that fall out- i at least wanted to like- start a bit of that thought process in this chapter so that it will be better set up, i know people are really excited for tae to come out and i want to do it justice!!!

ahhhhh i'm so happy i can give you the taste of a bit of love, the kind that we'll all hopefully get some day soon <3 ahhhhhh wow i'm never going to be able to get over people praising tae's poetry in this cuz i ngl thought it was kinda a little...less than it could have been but! if it makes others happy there is no reason i should be dissatisfied with it!

and ahhh- im taking a bit of a rest few days and letting my brain recuperate, im thinking a good rest activity might be to finally go back and edit the first few chapters of bily and really give them a hard read-through so that i can record the little hints of the story for the eventual explanation thats going to have to go on!

thank you for your lovely review of this chapter!!!

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spiteless-xo · 1 year

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Love your fics!! Because you follow a post schedule, what's your writing process like? Do you designate a day or time in your day to write for your stories?

Thank you so much! 💕 Apologies in advance for the absolute novel I'm about to write for this question lol

When I was posting The Boys at School, I had already finished the entire fic before I even posted the first chapter. I gave myself a weekly posting schedule so I'd have a timeline to reread and edit chapters before posting.

With The Boys at Work, when I posted the first chapter I think I had already written about 20-ish chapters? Same reason as above, I gave myself a weekly posting schedule so I'd have time to do rereads and edits, but also with the added pressure of finishing the story lmao

Right now, I have 31 chapters written and another 11 plotted out. Each week after I post the new chapter and answer comments, I usually read next week's chapter and do minor edits on Wednesday and then again on Sunday or Monday before posting. I spend probably like an hour after work each day writing and maybe another hour or two on the weekend if I'm not busy. I try to write every day even if I'm not really feeling it because usually I build momentum once I start writing. If I just waited around for when I felt inspired, I don't think I'd have written anything at all lol

For my writing process with TBAS, I literally just wrote what I thought would be an interesting story for me and then called it a day lol

For TBAW, I've put a lot more thought into the structure and the story so my process is a lot more intense? I guess? Maybe mini-spoilers ahead but nothing major.

The main plot is obviously the love triangle between Jean/Reader/Eren but there's also the sub-plots of Reader's work performance, Jean's issues with his dad, and Eren's denial of his feelings.

In Arc 1 I tried to introduce all those sub-plots, in Arc 2 they really ramp up, and then in Arc 3 they all get resolved. So when I'm planning out each arc I try to plot out how I want each of the main characters to change by the end of the arc and then that gives me a general idea of how I want my chapters to be structured, so then I plot those out, and then I just start writing!

I plot out my chapters in very vague point form because when I write, sometimes I write things happening that I never planned for and it ends up working really well. Literally, the whole scene in Chapter 5 where Reader and Jean go shopping for wine was just a free-ball. Most Core Four scenes outside of the Halloween and the Cabin chapters are free-balled.

And since I have so many of these off-the-cuff, unplanned scenes, when I'm editing I usually reread the ENTIRE ARC to see if there's a way I can tie that scene into the overall plot or if I can make the characters say something that alludes to a future chapter, etc. etc.

Honestly, most of the time when I'm editing, I'm actually just reading. I've reread this entire story SO MANY TIMES!!! I can't even count lol

But in general, I just sit down, write, and try to loosely stick to my rough point-form plot. Editing is the most important part of my story, but I can't do any editing if I haven't written anything. So I just write, no matter how bad it is or how disconnected or disjointed, etc. etc. and then I wait a few days, reread it with fresh eyes, and then start making changes.

Sometimes those changes involve rewriting the whole chapter, other times it's just minor edits or adding/removing a scene. I literally have a separate google doc of "deleted scenes" that's like 50k words of stuff that I've cut out from chapters in the main story, but that I wanted to keep in case I want to use them elsewhere.

ANYWAY sorry for the book!! I love talking about this stuff and my boyfriend doesn't really care so I don't have anyone to gush about this with 🥺🥺🥺 So thank you so much anon for the question, sorry I got out of hand, but I really appreciate the opportunity to talk about something that I love doing ♥♥

#tiff.ask

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the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

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You're so sweet to matty about the ghetto gaggers thing all things considered 😅 i don't think critiquing racism and racist fetishes is kink shaming and racism doesn't become okay just because someone gets off on it. You seem a little nervous to critique it so I just wanted to come in here and say it's okay if you're not cool with that whole thing<3 no one is gonna think you're bad or shaming or anything 🫶 (also not trying to start shit about matty i still want that man in my guts every day of the week and twice on sunday)

Thanks for the encouragement. But, I’m not sure it’s that. Like, I don’t know if I’m nervous to critique Matty. I’m usually fine doing so, when I think it warrants criticism. It’s more that racialized “kink” isn’t a subject that I have given much thought to. I’m also not a black woman. (I’m Arab American but also find the designated ‘white’ label for us middle eastern folks kinda fucked up since it was solidified by a 70s court case that wanted Jesus to be white, lmao. That’s a whole separate issue.) so, I’m can’t speak on it with confidence, you know? If I’m gonna call someone out, I better have thought it through. And there were enough problematic jokes made in that pod that I WOULD call him out on, but this one didn’t come from him.

I’m just thinking out loud here, so lmk what y’all think! About the think thing, I mean. I think that it’s a tad fucked up for a white guy to be into “black women on white men” shit because I’m instantly thinking “why specifically black women? Are you exoticizing and fetishizing blackness”? Isn’t that kind of dehumanizing? Especially if it’s kinky stuff that includes a lot of physical pain (listen, I’m gonna be too much on the internet and confess that I am myself a submissive and a masochist, so I am not judging anyone who wants that shit)? At the same time, saying no to that kind of thing categorically sounds like I’m saying black women should not participate in BDSM sex films cuz they’re racist. That seems extreme to me. (Setting aside the fact that the adult film industry is itself problematic for sooo many reasons).

Then it gets even more dicey cuz what if you’re in an interracial couple. It’s normal to want the adult films that you consume to reflect your reality. You find your partner sexy doesn’t mean that you exclusively find all people of their race sexy.

I guess I’m saying I find white men who have a “black woman fetish” suspect but I think the issue is more nuanced than that and it’s hard to split hairs and make generalizations about the whole category. I’m not comfortable saying this specific type of kink shouldn’t exist at all. But I am comfortable saying that I got my eyes on you and I’m suspicious of you if you’re a white man who’s into it, lol.

NOW, back to Matty….he didn’t make the joke himself. It was the co-host. It COULD BE that the cohost simply said it to be provocative and gross. Given that a lot of the jokes that they made, both the hosts AND Matty, were racist and gross. Maybe he wasn’t thinking about Matty’s relatively recent breakup with Twigs. But maybe he was. I don’t know. But that’s hardly a situation that we can debate. So, I find it iffy.

As for the lyric “cumming to her lookalikes.” Maybe that’s what he had in mind, idk? But he probably would’ve said the same thing if she weren’t black? He’d just be watching women people porn and find someone who looks like his ex and jack off to that instead? That line is up for interpretation. I will admit that I might be biased, simply because POTB is one of my fav 1975 tracks. And, I do think that Matty has a way of making the complex crude as a rhetorical style. He does it all the time. “Eating stuff off of motorbikes” and “he would get him cooked animals” and “you took a picture of your salad and put it on the internet”

If he has said “eating stuff from delivery” the line wouldn’t be as BRUTAL, you know? Or if he has said “the internet would get him food through the click of a button” it’s not gonna hit the same way that “cooked animals” does. Or “you uploaded a picture of your meal to Instagram” not the same effect as “put it on the internet” so, the line “cumming to her lookalikes” could just mean he’s watching porn and thinking of her. Or he’s sleeping with people who look like her cuz he can’t have her. I’m not gonna take issue with that line just cuz of the way it’s phrased. But that’s just MY way of thinking about it. I respect everyone’s right to interpret things differently and I will not tell someone what they should pr shouldn’t be offended by.

Does any of this make sense? Yeah, let me know if I’m insane please lmao

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katya-zamos · 2 years

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✨ glittertrail sunday asks ✨

These are like 3 months worth of asks from @glittertrail that I’ve said I would answer but always forget to 😅 shout out to Sandra for making me use my brain for something fun 💕

Not a sunday ask but i did decide to get a haircut and make it everyone’s problem since i base my entire personality around my looks, is there something you’d like to do with your hair rn? how about something you have always wanted to do with it but couldn’t for whatever reason? More than anything I need a haircut. My curly folks out there know that you need to in order to give your curls some life. I would also loveeee to dye my hair anything other than brown. Maybe some highlights or whatever is in right now. I would like to see my hair lighter.

Let’s take smells. What’s your favorite smell? What smell makes you feel most comfortable? Do you have a signature scent? My favorite smell is coffee but the one that makes me feel the most comfortable is the smell of sofrito. It reminds me of home and mom’s cooking and I just love that. I don’t think I have signature smell but my friends know if they want to get me something like a candle it has to be fresh and clean scented.

If you were a bottle what kind of bottle would it be? Perfume? Wine? Medicine? How about a label? If said bottle had a warning label what would it say? Definitely a bottle of wine. I was a TJ’s the other day and I saw the pretties bottle ever. I almost got it just because it was pretty but I had enough wine at home already lol If it had a warning it would be something “Caution: The contents of bottle can make you extremely emotional.”

Do you have any goal you want to accomplish by the end of the summer? I guess getting back into working out. And by working out I mean 30 min walks around my neighborhood lol I am not a fitness girlie but I do want to get my body moving bc working from home can be too much sometimes.

(Make believe question this week because i haven’t done one of these in a minute) You’re going on a journey. What kind of journey is it? Are you going on a mission? A holiday? Back home? How are you getting there? Train, car, flying cleaning appliance? What’s the journey like? What do you see on your way there? Do you meet someone interesting? Either a holiday or going back home. I’ve never travelled via train so that would be fun. I recently started driving and I hate it so no. I would like the journey to be quite and calm, looking at pretty scenery, taking a nap even. Meeting someone new during the travel journey? No but maybe once we get to the destination but who knows.

It’s a long weekend here and sundays are for good music and doing sobremesa after having late meals with friends, would you tell me about a song that reminds you of a good memory? (and the memory if you are comfortable with that) or what do you feel like eating on this kind of sunday? I will accept zero judgement for what I am about to say but a song band that reminds me of a good memory is 1D. I have the best memories with my best friend and for sure they are playing in the background. My sundays are spent with my family and my mom cooks for us so anything she makes I’m a fan. It’s usually some time of rice dish with whatever she feels like doing with it. She’s the boss.

What is your favorite compliment you’ve ever received? How about the most memorable? I love when people compliment my hair lmao but for most memorable I would say anything regarding my personality?

“Suggest how you might resolve the staging difficulties inherent in a production of Ibsen’s Peer Gynt.” if you get the reference I’d love you forever, but it’s not the question for this week. Here it is: If you could change the way any movie/play/book was made, which one would you change? how? I truly do not pay much attention to this lol I just watch things and either enjoy it or don’t. This would be a great question to ask @thatemotionalbitch 😂

Alright you get to pick amongst every kind of animal there is (mythological or real) as your companion. Call it familiar, call it a pet, what animal is it? Does it have powers? How would you name them? and kind of unrelated but if you happen to have had pets before, do you have a recurring theme when chosing names for them? I would choose like a dragon or big ass bird that can take me places and I would name it Matcha bc I imagine it being all shades of green. I’ve only had one pet and we named her after a liquor so maybe I would keep the liquoralcoholl theme.

The sunday mood is, yet again, running away to start from scratch and opening a cafe, where is it located, what’s the general mood and music, and what drinks special is on the menu? (for those of you that weren’t here for the of original question, what would be your signature dish/snack served there?) I would like to have it in a small town on the country side or the complete opposite and have it near a beach. The vibes would be tropical with music blasting but not too loud. You can have a treat and also dance a little. The signature drink would be coquito based and we would have all sorts of delicious puertorican pastries oh my god

#glittertrail #answered #ily sandraaaa <3

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my-one-true-l · 2 years

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Hello hi how are you?

How’s your week been?

I’ve finally left the house in over a week. I caught covid last monday for the second time and oh my goodness has it messed me up. I’m all better now more or less.

I was already pretty bad to begin with, my physical health is not the greatest I will admit. But Covid basically wiped out all of my progress on my lungs and now i gotta start all over with the exercises, ughhhhhh. It’s not all bad though, I get the exercise on walks throughout the day;

Though the UK right now is just not amicable for walking or breathing in general if you have breathing problems. It’s gonna reach like 35 Celcius by Sunday (95 Fahrenheit i think) plus it’s so humid - we’re built for cold and miserable weather which means no air conditioning in literally any lovable building, plus our buildings and roads just ABSORB heat.

Forgive me for complaining but I am not a summer person. I much prefer Autumn, not too hot not too cold and my allergies won’t try and suffocate me before I leave the house lmao.

Ok enough complaining for one day, onto some good things. All this time not being able to leave my bed has allowed me to think of the rest of the plot for Janus Quirinus, now it’s just a matter of actually writing it! Also i’m hoping to go to a flower garden soon, i really want to see some sterling silver roses but no matter. I love plants but it appears they do not reciprocate lmao.

Also i’ve managed to get my boyfriend into black butler, somehow. I’ve forewarned him of any messing around in the fandom, though he hasn’t really got much intent to interact. But overall he seems to enjoy it so far and wants to read the manga too since the manga is objectively superior (I will fight on this /j)

Anyways I hope you have a wonderful week, I hope the weather is amicable for you. Also i hope your plants are growing healthily and bountifully. Stay safe and hydrated! Much love <3

Hi Ace,

I'm sorry to hear you caught Covid. I know how bad it is for people with breathing problems. I'm glad you've recovered and I hope it doesn't take you too long to make progress again.

I never thought of summer being something England wasn't equipped for, but that makes a lot of sense. I love summer, but I will admit I am not a fan of the sun beating down on me lol.

Ooh, I'm intrigued at how JQ is going to wrap. A happy ending or angsty? I will have to wait and see! I think visiting a flower garden soon sounds lovely. Maybe you aren't as bad with plants as you think. Roses are notoriously difficult to raise.

Oh, Black Butler! One of my favorites! I still need to read the manga! I have so many theories and I've heard that the manga delves more into those things than the anime and movies ever do. I don't blame your boyfriend not caring about the fandom. Honestly, I don't go in it much either lol. I tend to rather have a small group of friends that share the same interests to discuss the things we all love lol. It feels like a more authentic fan experience if that makes sense lol.

I hope your week is wonderful and you continue to feel better! Much Love!

~Rae

#Letters with Friends #Sweet People #Ace-13

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