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abbeyfangirl · 5 years

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dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum.

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so.

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 4 years

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my top 10 series of 2019~

aka i gush about shiz i watched this year for waaaaaay too long lol...

i watched a lot of stuff this yr (well... it felt like a lot? there’s a lot more i wanted to watch but i’m terrible at time management lol...) so let’ssss explore that in a ~numbered list~ lol

(spoilers - there’s a lot of gay shit here lol... what can i say, twentybiteen really pulled thru lol)

10 - Stranger Things (series 3)

i know some people didn’t like this series, but i legit thought it was really good lol... i felt it had gone back to the style of the 1st series a lil more? (whereas series 2 had felt a lil disappointing in a way??) & i loved all the new characters introduced (robin is a personal fav, obv), & the whole splitting off into the lil groups was really effective in not just feel like it’s always the same group together, and it also allowed for some interesting character moments!

visually, stranger things always looks amazing! but i thought the whole summer/july 4th vibes really made it especially stunning tbh... as most things on this list, i’ve only seen it once, so i would like to rewatch it at some point (actually wanna do a full stranger things marathon tbh i was trying to explain what had happened in the show to my friend who stopped watching it early in series 1 & it was so difficult to remember exactly what had happened in it lool... )

there were obv things about it that i wasn’t as big on, like the whole evil russian-invincible guy was v cliche and kinda silly, & some of the actions scenes were a bit awkward(?) feeling... but i’m a sucker for any 80′s style media so those things just reminded me of the goonies or some shit lol

9 - Ghosts

actually the funniest & cutest series ever tbh!!! as someone who grew up with horrible histories with the original cast, this just made me immensely happy to see the whole team together again! the humour style is v similar to horrible histories too btw, though i feel they let themselves have a lil more ‘dark humour’ than in that (since this is more a general audience, whereas hh was definitely more aimed at kids tbh... tho they still won a comedy award for it lol! actual legends lol anyway...)

only downside is that it’s only 1 series atm & it’s pretty short... but i know there’s gonna be a new series at some point so i’m v excited for that!! i feel there’s sooooo many places they can go with the concept (i.e. exploring how/when the other characters died (like kitty!!! i need to know her story lol i love her!), maybe introducing another character who can see ghosts?? like a medium/psychic or something/etc ...) but legit, please watch this if u haven’t!!!

8 - Good Omens

this pretty much took over the internet this year lbr lol & tbh i’d def say it was worthy of the praise!! ineffable husbands aside, the main story is super engaging and enjoyable, with some really awesome side characters (& some of my fav character designs in anything ever tbh!!) but definitely the biggest draw was the ‘6000 years mutual pining’ romance which they did so well lol & it was something that was genuinely so lovely to watch tbh!! i also really loved the ending message of the show! i really hope to rewatch this next year when i think it’s gonna be aired on british tv at last????

downsides would be that the plot can be a bit confusing at times? but maybe that’s just me being dumb lol... but i imagine it’s a lot easier to understand if u’ve read the book lol?? i don’t have a problem w/ aziraphale & crowley not being “explicitly” gay or whatnot (i know i’ve seen some people annoyed with this?), since the whole idea of their relationship is so much larger than just them bonking or whatevs lol? (in general i think more media should have less focus on kissing/intimacy as an indication of love/romance... which is something i’ve already talked about lol)

oh, and the title sequence is INCREDIBLE lol i seriously loved it so much!!

7 - Killing Eve (series 2)

finally finished this the other day & it was so good!!! i really love the dark comedic tone of the show tbh & i def feel there was more of it in the 2nd series then the first! i also liked the further development of villanelle & eve’s relationship, which is obv the highlight of the show tbh! there was also a nice lot of twists tbh, though i’d say it was a lil less intense than the 1st series? (overall i’d say i prefer the 1st series, but the 2nd was a fab continuation... btw i also watched the 1st series this yr lol)

negative points are that the plot wasn’t quite as interesting as the 1st series... i think cos the focus of the murders was taken off of villanelle that we lost some of that drama from the 1st? i thought the ghost was gonna be a more integral part but she was kinda weirdly pushed aside once we learnt her identity? & the creepy son dude just annoyed me lol (but i suppose that was the point lol...)... so like yh there were lil things that didn’t engage me as much as the first, but overall i still really enjoyed it lol

this is def fulfilling the hannibal-shaped hole in my heart tbh... (another series i finished this yr...)

6 - Dark Blue Kiss the series

look, it’s no surprise this is on my list lol... i was hella hyped for this series when it was announced last yr, even though my expectations were VERY LOW after kiss me again the series (which, lbr, is a massive mess lol... like it’s My Mess tho)... but for real, this series really exceeded all my expectations... & then some! like i’m legit shook at how good it was ngl! especially morksun’s storyline, which was by far my fav in the show (as much as i’m petekao trash lol...) also, i was surprised by how genuinely pretty this show is! esp in comparison to kma (like i know i keep going on about the goddamn bruise makeup but it is so ugly in kma, but they really did a great job in dbk tbh!)

ok so there’s a lot of flaws lol... like... a lot (i’m already complained a lot so i won’t bore u with that rn lol...) but for real, the thing that i love the most about this is the discussions of coming out/homophobia/general young people struggles/etc etc which is so refreshing to see in these series! like i love that despite the cheesy tropes, it still knows when to be serious & genuine...

5 - He Is Coming To Me

another thai series, i believe this has the same director as dbk? (don’t hold me to that tho...)... legit one of the best, if not the best, thai series i’ve ever seen tbh! so adorable, so well acted, so funny & heartwarming like... legit it’s so good!! i was already excited about it from the trailer, but the way it really delivered on the emotionality, whilst keeping it lighthearted, was truly wonderful tbh! the main actors did a brill job i gotta say, and all the side characters were amazing too (there really wasn’t a character i didn’t like i’d say tbh? i need to rewatch tbh... there’s a lot i’ve forgotten since this came out p early in the year lol)... also, visually it’s so pretty!! i swear the cinematography in these thai series just keeps getting better & better & it def improves the watching experience tbh!

a down point would be that the first ep is a bit slow/awkward to get in to... & i think it def could put someone off? but i’d say to stick w/ it since it just keeps getting better & better! i’d actually say there isn’t really anything else i didn’t like about it ngl? it’s just so good guys... u really need to watch it!

4 - Russian Doll

probs the only series on this list that i actually actively went to rewatch straight away lol (didn’t do a full rewatch btw)... it was SO good for real! i already loved the premise lol (it’s basically groundhog day, which is already such a great film, but they explored those ideas even more in this which i loveeeed) the leads are fantastic, and the story is generally so interesting! plus the editing & song choices are really brill tbh...

my one complaint would probs be that the series loses a lil momentum at certain points (esp later in the series), but it still keeps ur interest, and the ending is really well done too! i know there’s gonna be a 2nd series, so i’m really hoping it’ll be able to live up to this one, and also explore more of the characters/concepts/etc! i’m def hyped for it tbh!

i feel like this series is simultaneously underrated and also v well known lol?? like i know everyone sees that ‘thursday! what a concept’ meme but i feel like i didn’t see as many people talk about it as much as other series this yr???

(for my top 3, i’d say i love them all equally/for different reasons... so the order they’re in is changeable lol)

3 - Gentleman Jack

one of the greatest bbc series of the year, maybe even the decade lol! actually a masterpiece of cinematography, incredible acting, gorgeous costumes, beautiful depictions of love and intimacy, hilarious characterisation & just generally a wonderful series!! like i can’t praise it enough! it’s literally everything i could ever want from a series, and more!!!!!!! like everytime i think about it i just feel like ‘!!!!!’ constantly lol... like... what did we do to deserve such a series for real?? something that i esp loved was that i vividly remember not that long ago w/ people complaining about the bbc for having minor lgbtq characters in things, so to have a actual main lesbian couple series be on prime time bbc telly is kinda mind blowing lol... like.. i know we’ve got a long way to go, but it does make me immensely proud!!

i have no complaints lol... other than - needed to be longer (i think we’re getting a 2nd series right???? i hope so tbh!!)

2 - The Untamed

look, i don’t make 15 piece series’ for nothing lol... this show really got to me ngl... like i knew it was gonna be amazing from seeing tonnes of mutuals start watching it & praising it.. .but ohhhhhhhh boy i wasn’t reading for the angst and heartbreak and just generally how invested i’d be in all the characters lol... like genuinely there’s so much to praise about this show! it may not be as super ‘polished’ as some of the other shows on this list, but it really has so much heart and hard work and dedication put into it which really shows in the final product!

there’s obv issues with it, but i feel like it’s kinda unnecessary to go over them lol? there’s so much more of this series that has brought me genuine joy, the biggest being the fact they were still able to depict a really beautiful, loving and /romantic/ relationship despite the strict censor is truly incredible lol!! like w/ good omens, it just shows what you can do to depict love/romance without having to over-sexualise something...

i feel like i’m saying less for these top 3, but it’s just cos i’ve already gush to high heavens about how much i love them lol...

1 - HIStory 3 - Trapped

you - *pretends to be shocked that this is my number 1*

yeh... no surprises that this is in my top 3 lol... what can i say that i haven’t already screamed about for months??? this series truly surpassed any expectations i could have had for a HIStory series... the story line is complex & pretty well done (it’s not perfect... but nothing is so....), the characters are wonderful & also brilliantly acted! i think the thing that i love the most is that the director wanted to create a series that wasn’t just a cheesy gay series (don’t get me wrong, i loVE cheesy gay series’ lol... ) but also would have a more interesting, well developed & more ‘mature’ story line (i think esp in comparison to other HIStory series’ which are usually school/uni based)... it’s also one of the few lgbtq series i’ve seen that isn’t just about ‘first loves’, and doesn’t place a big emphasis on a sexuality/identity crisis... it’s just so unabashedly a mystery-romance drama, which is just so refreshing to see! & i genuinely hope we can see more series like this, where gay characters don’t need to ‘prove’ themselves in order to be in a series or to be in relationships (which it often feels like, where writers need to explain /why/ characters are gay...)...

phew... that’s a lot of text lol, just like w/ the untamed, i feel like i’ve already talked about the negative points of the series (plot holes, awkward moments, weird editing/sound choices, bad tropey plots), but the positives of this series seriously make it worthwhile, and i’m just so so SO happy this show exists lol...

all 3 of these series have a special place in my heart of inspiring lots of my own exploration of art, as well as writing, which has been really crucial in me understanding what i wanna do with my life (i know that sounds kinda weird, but at the start of the year i really didn’t know what i wanted... and i wasn’t even sure what i was good at lol... so thru these shows i was able to discover a lot more about my own style of working & thru all of them i was able to meet some wonderful new people on here which has made 2019 actually one of my most enjoyable years on tumblr!

this has been an...... interesting year lol... but definitely these shows made it just a lil bit better!!!

Happy new year to anyone who actually read thru this & let’s hope 2020 brings us even more brill shows ~~~

#personal #favourite tv shows #2019 tv shows #long ass post lol... with pics (oooooh... fancy)#i rambled a lot here lol...#if u read thru (or just skim - or even if u just look at the pics lol) let me know which series u agree with?#or what ur fav series r?#there were other things i watched & didnt finish this yr which i enjoyed but decided to just stick to the series i finished lol...#not gonna tag any of the series cos i want y'all to click 'read more' to find out lol...#tho... if ur following my blog i feel it's p obvious what i've chosen lol....#also that ~numbered list~ thing is in ref to jenny nicholson... cos i love her lol #i think this might b the first time i've done this/?? maybe??#idk...#time is an illusion am i right ladies?

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sizzleitupwithmaria · 5 years

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the challenge is on, foolish mortal

1. how tall are you?

5 feet 7 inches

2. what is your body type?

i’m shaped like an hourglass but i’m also a lil chubby

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

i occasionally like my face and this is a little bit weird but i have pretty good tits

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yep!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy

dude i’m shy af

6. are you more femme or butch?

i’m a pretty solid futch

7. are you tol or smol?

i’m tol bitch!!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

i feel like i’m a vodka aunt, but i’m also 14 and don’t commit crimes

9. weird habit?

i stick my tongue out whenever i’m super focused and i used to be really self conscious about it

10. favorite meme?

my current favorite is the shen yun memes but i don’t have an all time favorite

11. do you sing in the shower?

no bc the bathroom is right next to my parent’s bedroom :):):)

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

yeah i was in girl scouts for a while

13. are you/were you a theater kid?

see basically all of my vent posts and you’ll find the answer (i’m in a weird relationship with theater right now, but we’ll have to see how sophomore year turns out)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

yeah!! i’m also seeing another one in 112 days lol

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

some are, but that doesn’t make them bad

16. have you ever been part of a protest or a march?

yeah, i went to march for our lives last year!!

17. favorite cards against humanity card?

i don’t actually own or play CAH, but i like “Bees.”

18. last movie you watched?

newsies, but that was only to grab screenshots lol (maura will know)

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

both!!

20. favorite tv show?

uhhhhh frasier?

21. meaning behind your url

sizzle it up with taako is a taz reference

22. reason you joined tumblr

i have no fucking idea bc it was so long ago

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

i’d say @baura-bear but i’ve also known her irl for 8 years? i don’t actually have any purely tumblr friends, feel free to hmu

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

most foods

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

considering that i had to look up what that meant, the answer is no

26. have you ever had sex?

i’m 14

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or anything bad?

nope, i lead a pretty boring life (i’d actually sneak out quite often if my bedroom wasn’t on the second floor)

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

i’ve told my dad that i love him before

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

i’m currently at a crossroads with it and it’s pretty stressful for me rn but i’m committed to getting better and not crying daily over it

30. describe your best friend

i don’t actually think i have a solid enough relationship with anyone to have a best friend lol

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows

OH UHHHH i pop my acne?? that might be obvious if you look at my face tho

32. how do you feel right now?

pretty solid, i have a little bit of a headache and i’m a bit sad but i’m doing okay

33. what is your biggest fear?

failure, but that’s probably just bc i set so high expectations for myself lol

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

breakfast in america by supertramp

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

maybe quitting band and strings in 5th grade or quitting track

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

OH YEAH but we’re not gonna talk about that right now

37. something you fantasize about

i always dream of living in a tiny nyc apartment with a beautiful wife and working at some nondescript company and shopping in my free time

38. last time you cried and why

??? i actually don’t know. i nearly cried last night bc my dad was nearly yelling at me, we’re not gonna get into that though

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

i put a stupid snapchat filter on my face

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yeah

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking about anything with?

my own self?? i have trust issues lol

42. the last time you felt broken?

maybe this morning just bc i had a weird dream and was processing it lol

43. are you starting to realize anything?

yeah

44. are you more dom or sub?

sub, but just in general, i haven’t ever had sex

45. i’ll only date you if _____

you’re a woman? i don’t have many standards lol

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

okay this question is probably geared more towards adults but as a freshman, i’m fine with dating sophomores and juniors, and maybe 8th graders?? that’s a little iffy though

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail

ummm i’m not sure if it’s a crush anymore but she’s tall, skinny, had black hair that she dyes often but it never shows, she dresses similar to me, she’s a photographer, and i think she might be into me :/

48. do you have any kinks?

yes but i’ll never tell anybody even if they paid me money

49. first thing you notice in a person?

uhhh their outfit?

50. how can someone win your heart?

by loving me a lot and dealing with my weird personality

51. been rejected by a crush?

i’ve only asked a crush out once and that went pretty well so no

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

yes, who hasn’t?

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

nope

54. is trust a big issue for you?

is the sky blue?

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

nope, we’ve been meaning to for a while though

56. is confidence cute?

sometimes, just don’t be weird to other people

57. what would you say if the person you like kissed another person?

i wouldn’t care LMAO

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

probably not

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

maybe?? my interactions with her have been a blur lmao

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

oh yeah

61. do you want to get married?

yes, but purely to flex the fact that i can get gay married

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

idk probably self harmed

63. three things that turn you on

1. women

2. women

3. women

64. who do you hate?

nobody, really

65. favorite term of endearment?

sweetheart/love GET ME EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! if i ever write some romance y’all will see

66. who was your gay awakening?

idk if you count this as a gay awakening but once when i was like four i said to my dad “if i could marry anyone, i’d marry sarah” (one of my friends) (holy shit i just got kind of sad remembering her i liked her a lot and she had a cool family i need to see if she has an ig)

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

both at the same time

68. what do you look for in a possible partner

women

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

tbh the only styles that are off the table for me are hyper masculine and hyper feminine, anyone else is great

70. are you good at flirting?

i don’t have the confidence to flirt lol

71. who was the first person you came out to?

my friends ellie and lilli, at the same time, on accident

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

the question is do i have friends that aren’t wlw

73. is your crush wlw?

i believe so

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

this one junior boy who.... oh boy... he’s not hot at all but he’s so nice to literally everyone

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

i don’t feel like i’m attached enough to my crush to write a poem to them

76. do you fall in love easily?

i think so

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yeah

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

oh hell yeah, at least i think so

79. are you a forgiving person?

depends on what the person did

80. what is your type?

i don’t really have one? being taller than me is nice

81. fall asleep in her arms or tub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

both, with a preference for the first one

82. tall girls or short girls?

TOL

83. hugs or kisses

both, especially at the same time

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

both!!

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

tummy!! thigh kisses are a bit too close to the pussy for my taste

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

hairline

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

both!!!!!!!!!

88. making our or soft kisses

soft kisses

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

both, it just depends on the situation

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

probably 80%

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

idk if i ever blush but i have to REALLY like someone to get butterflies

92. have you ever likes a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

i have multiple times but i’ve only told someone once

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

11 or 12

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

idk, i tend to forget those things

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

i honestly don’t ship many lesbians lmao. can i count my own ocs? bc julia and emily are great

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

i don’t think i’ve actually had anything negative said about my sexuality directly to me, so i’m a bit lucky

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

i honestly have no idea

98. what is love to you?

when we make each other happy

99. ask me anything

i mean my ask is always open if anyone wants to do this

thanks for listening to me be super gay and sad for a little bit

#:)

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nickireadstfc · 7 years

Text

The Foxhole Court: A Summary - The Exposition Court

Exposition! Legit so many fucking character introductions! ‘!!!!!!!!’ moments! Foreshadowing! Show, Don’t Tell! Opinions! Predictions that will no doubt end up being Absolutely Fucking Ridiculous! Yay!

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to sum up the Foxhole Court.

In 2013, now-renowned author Nora Sakavic blessed us with The Foxhole Court, book one of the All For The Game trilogy. In this first installment of orange gay sporty murder shit, protagonist, runaway and professional sassmaster Neil Josten signs with the Palmetto State Foxes, a ragtag sports team of outcasts and lunatics, in order to escape his Fucked Up Past™.

On his team he finds Kevin, a childhood friend of his with an equally Fucked Up Past™, and Andrew, a messed-up murder maniac on meds. They play Exy, which is the three-way lovechild sport of lacrosse, ice hockey and bad decisions, and Kevin takes it upon himself to train Neil into the prodigy he sees in him.

But The Plot is coming for them: Kevin’s childhood abusers, Riko and Tetsuji Moriyama, and their team, the Edgar Allan Ravens, have come into their district, and they are set on taking Kevin back to their magical land of abuse and kind-of slavery, destroying the Foxes’ athletic reputation and generally fucking up everyone’s lives.

But the Foxes are not going down without a fight, and after an epic smackdown between Riko and Neil on national television, Neil is accepted into their dysfunctional family of fiercely protective psychopaths, and together they stare down into the abyss of whatever fucked-up shit is yet to come.

And that’s the Foxhole Court for you.

Did I like it? Hell fucking yes.

Do I think it’s probably going to be the weakest out of the three? Also hell fucking yes.

Let me explain.

The Foxhole Court mainly consists of one thing: Exposition. Nora Sakavic takes her sweet time introducing Neil as a character, unfolding both his backstory and his personality bit by bit, and introducing everyone else the same (although we are clearly not done with the backstories by any stretch of the imagination) as well as giving us a good feel of what Exy is and why we should care about this orange sportsball.

However, one tiny unimportant thing is kind of suffering under all that, and that is the plot.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE exposition. I love getting to know characters, I love them having plot-unrelated banter, give me all that good shit. There hasn’t been one bit in TFC where I was bored or wanted to skip ahead (which, if you know my attention span, is a big thing). But we can’t deny that not much has happened so far.

In fact, there have only been five parts in this entire book where I was truly off my socks, either in excitement or shock or just general WHAT THE FUCK-ness:

When we find out Kevin’s (and Neil’s) backstory, fucking wHAT, I was blown away. I had not expected the book to be this serious. A+

The entire club scene with the monsters drugging Neil and Nicky kiss-raping him. I had stuff to say about that.

Neil telling Andrew like 80% of his Troubled Past™, I am deceased

THE MASTERPIECE THAT IS NEIL SASSING THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF RIKO CAN I GET A HELL YEAH

Seth overdosing being murdered by Riko, aka the latest installment in our popular series WHAT.

And while everything else has been lovely as well, this speaks volumes for the plot which has, up until this point, been kind of on the down low, save for the moments mentioned above.

The good news is: In all likelihood, Seth’s death at the end of the book marks the point where exposition is now the fuck over. Dramatically, it would make sense to now stop fucking about and get down to business, to defeat the huns Ravens and really get to grips with the plot now in the second and third book.

(( Also, side note on the Seth situation: Let’s take a lil look back at chapter 6:

“The death threats were creative, though,” Nicky said. “Maybe this time they’ll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let’s vote. I nominate Seth.”

Like wHAT KIND OF SWEET ASS FORESHADOWING.

Huge thanks to spookymiscreant for pointing that out. <3 ))

As for writing style, I’m pleasantly surprised. Self-published authors sadly often tend to tell too much and show too little, they describe lots and lots of things the reader could have figured out on their own and it takes a lot of immersion out of the reading experience.

Not so our dearest Nora, oh no. I’m immensely enjoying how she often just hints at feelings or thoughts of characters with just little details she drops every now and again. This works so well because those details often aren’t consciously recognized by a quick reader, yet they are vital in shaping our views of characters and scenes, providing true immersion and a full reading experience. Top notch, A+, 10/10 would author again.

(I’m too lazy to look up examples for that right now, but you all know what I mean anyways, and I’ve pointed a lot of things like this out in my recaps as well because I LOVE IT.)

Now, characters! Where do I fucking start. I’m thinking I’m just gonna throw my opinions on each of them in here and see whether they’ll change throughout the next two books.

Neil, my son. I’ve really, really grown to like him. Homeboy is still majoring in Extra and Dramatic, and I will still drag him mercilessly for it, but I like it. I like his style of narration, I care for his emotional well-being, but most of all, I like his sass. Seemingly every time he has to speak to someone for more than three sentences, he just cannot help but be the savage comeback prince he was destined to be, and I’m living for it. I hope he has lots and lots of dialogue in the next two books. I’m still not over that Riko scene. Love him.

Kevin is... I don’t actually have a clear opinion on him yet. I find him interesting as a part of Neil’s history – still not sure whether I’m buying that he doesn’t remember Neil at all –, I was stunned by his backstory and I absolutely want to fucking gut Riko for everything he’s done to Kevin, but that’s about it so far. He just….. didn’t click with me yet. Let’s see what comes around in the future.

Andrew is growing on me, I think. I’m not his biggest fan yet – he did do some fucked up shit (//eyes the club situation YET AGAIN//) and I absolutely hate him when he’s on his meds – but he’s v v interesting, both as a character and because of the med situation. And honestly, I think this is exactly what’s intended with him. Andrew was not made for immediate attachment, he was intentionally written to grow on you. And I kind of like that, it makes his character more round, more fully-formed, gives him more dimension. Also, I love him in combination with Kevin and Neil. Also just with Neil, obviously. He’s buying him clothes. Who is chill about this, not me.

Nicky……… My problematic sunshine idiot, I still have a very complicated relationship to him. I think Nicky is (as far as I've read) a wonderful example of a fuckboy who means well, meaning someone who does shitty things as a joke/bc he doesn’t think about them/bc it’s been socially engrained in him that they are okay to do (see: the kiss thing), but realises they are shitty afterwards and wants to better himself. Also, I’m just really, really grateful to have someone who brings a bit of laughter into this angsty shitshow. And gayness. Oh, how I am grateful for the gayness. Actually, who are we fucking kidding, I still love Nicky.

Aaron – who even is Aaron, seriously. I still know literally next to nothing about this dude. Apparently his mother was quite fucked up. Not close with his twin brother. Okay. Next!

RENEE, my daughter, my love, my darlingest little murder snowflake. We still don’t know much about her, but for some reason she just instantly clicked with me. She is so unbelievably kind and sweet and probably hiding like, three axe murders. GIVE ME ALL HER BACKSTORY AND GIVE IT TO ME NOW. She is probably my second-favourite character so far, together with Neil.

I’ve gathered that quite a lot of you like Matt?? I can see why, I guess. He’s a ray of sunshine as well, and an unproblematic one at that. He probably would have deserved to be captain as well. Tall Billie Joe is a good egg. <3

Pretty much all of that goes for Dan as well. Good human being, good team person. Takes no shit. Very Gryffindor. I’m wondering what her backstory is tbh, because so far, she seems like an actually stable, healthy person, which we all know cannot be true in Foxland.

I’m still sort of indifferent to Allison. She hasn’t given me reason to hate her yet, she also hasn’t given me reason to like her. I feel bad for her because of Seth’s death, though.

And Seth… Well. We kind of discussed that already.

As for the Parent Triumvirate: Idk if this ever came up, this may be news to you, but hAVE I MENTIONED I REALLY REALLY FUCKING LOVE WYMACK. Seriously. He is my favourite character, from chapter fucking one. He is the only person who can rival Neil in terms of unbound sass, which makes him great to begin with, but most importantly, he is caring, compassionate, and just the fucking kindest person in this book, yet takes no shit and doesn’t baby anyone.

“Did you think I made the team the way it is because I thought it would be a good publicity stunt? It’s about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you.”

This is the best thing anyone has said in this entire book fucking fIGHT ME. HOW DOES ONE NOT LOVE DAVID WYMACK TO THE HEAVENS AND BACK. #dicksoutforwymack

Abby and Betsy are both shaping up to be Really Cool People as well. As well as with Wymack, I love their “I’m gonna be supportive kind and good to you, but I’m not going to take any shit from you” attitude, which is precisely the way to run a team as dysfunctional as the Foxes. A+ parenting, 10/10 would love again.

Lastly, some predictions about what will happen within the next book! We’ll see what came true. I cannot wait to cringe at myself and my idioticy/blissful unawareness eight weeks from now.

They’ll deal with Seth’s death – some better, some worse

The banquet thing will happen and it will be hella awkward and hilarious and something Super Dramatic And Important will happen

Neil will master the Raven drills Kevin is making him do and it will be EPIC

Andreil will continue having Important Gay Moments™

The “Kevin and Riko know Neil” situation will not be addressed (!) (I’m expecting that to be in the last book, near the final epic smackdown)

Neither will we meet Neil’s father (again, last book)

However, we will meet Tetsuji and shit will go down

Also, we’ll meet some Ravens I suppose, since it is the Raven King after all. There was this Jean guy?? I’m intrigued

We will find out Renee’s backstory

We will find out something – if maybe not everything – about the Minyard-Hemmick backstory

Some more kisses will happen. I don’t care who kisses whom. Probably not Andreil (yet). Let it be Abby and Wymack. Aaron and his irrelevant girlfriend. I don’t care. Give me kisses.

And now all that’s left for me to say is, again, thank you thank you thank you to all of you who read this blog. All of you who give me your thoughts and comments on everything, who keep this project going and who drag my motivation back in by its hind legs every time it wants to run screaming into the other direction – you are the sole reason this thing exists. You all rock and I love you infinitely.

We’ll meet again next Sunday with The Raven King. xx

Side note: I’ve gone through the blog and organized all asks/replies dealing with frequently discussed topics, go check them out! All links are listed on the Read All Chapters page as well.

The demisexuality discourse

The mental health discourse

The Seth discourse

America vs Everywhere Else things

Side side note: Remember when I said I was going to rename all the chapters Percy Jackson style? So I may…… be doing that soon…….. keep ur eyeballs peeled friends!!!

#tfc #the foxhole court #aftg #all for the game #nicki reads tfc #[the last five years voice] it's over it's done #this was fun I'm gonna do those after every book I think #wheeeeeeee #edit: edited the parts where I used the m word as I realized it was Not Fucking Okay

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majoringinsarcasm · 7 years

Photo

Chapters 72-84

72~ •LETS FUCKING GO TO TOKYO BIIIIIIIITCH •Yaku-san: candidate for team cat mom •AND THE OWLS TOO?!?! •Ukai praising Takeda is why I live •Kags is eager to see Kenma against. •This chapter: proof that Karasuno/Nekoma is best ship •I. Love. Kiyoko. •Shit. Final exams. •I’m literally all four of them. Trying to run away from the issue while also hyper focusing on it and also not breathing •Daichi got me fucked up don’t look so attractive!

73~ •So the opening cover for this chapter is great •Tsukki is such a little shit I love him •Study buddies!!! •Oh my goooood Kiyoko is the best! •"Like there’s any point in knowing English when I’m Japanese"- Kageyama Tobio •TANAKAS HOUSE •Second year study session!! •S A E K O ! ! ! •KenHina texting !! •Takeda crying proud tears •G A S P •SHES HERE SHES HERE MY BABY GIRL MY LITTLE STAR MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER •Y A C H I H I T O K A

74~ •ALL ABOARD THE SS YAMAYACHI WOOWOO •Asahi plz •Protective Kiyoko!!!! •My little bisexual fem leaning daughter •Sup •Ok so the Hinata Yachi Kageyama trio gives me life •Also Kags making sure Hina copies down the work #bagels •Stray balls •HINA SAVED MY DAUGHTER •Ouginishi????

75~ •VILLAGER B •The Kiyoyachi is strong •More KenHina texting •Damn right they’ve changed the crows are kicking ass and taking names now •Hinata don’t undress in front of my daughter! •…Suga plz •Asahi’s headband! •ASANOYA IS REAL FUCK •Kiyoko is so beautiful I want to carry her books •I’m too emotional Kiyoko loves her boys so much plz help •"Did you get all gwaa?!“ •"I did!” •Kags was the moon. Asahi was a horse. Where is my theatre club AU ��Yachi is so wonderful I love her. Making posters for a fundraisers ahhh

76~ •This chapter is “Creator”. Reminds me of robots •Look at Yachi’s cute teddy slippers!! •…. I am her mother now I will encourage her always •"What you need at the start is a bit of curiosity". Sounds gay •Ushiwaka!!!! He’s so cute!! •I can’t wait to meet Shiratorizawa •Gotta go fast!! •VILLAGER B CAN FIGHT TOO!! •So proud of her •Hinayachi •MY BABY BOY IS ON A POSTER •MY BABY GIRL GOT A JACKET •o h m y g o d •presenting one of Japan’s under 19 representatives…. Ushijima Wakatoshi •JAPAN!!

77~ •I love him immediately and 100% •Ushijima is my husband •Hinata as a puppy yes •THEY HAVE A HORSE RIDING CLUB?! •I’ll devote myself to you Ushiwaka! •…. don’t tell me my husband is infatuated with Oikawa too •Kags: “you want Oikawa-san to be devoted to you?” Ushiwaka: “….” *talks about farming* •don’t shit talk about my adopted sons! •Hinata, the sunflower in the concrete •Fergie’s “oh shit!” •oh my god Ushi’s calves are insane •fucking hit me with that KageHina •SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT EXAMS

78~ •OH NOOOOOOOO MY BOYS •Yamamoto chill your bean •Protective Kiyoko! •oh my god Kuroo looks so good stop •Tanaka as best senpai #confirmed •S A E K O •I want her to crush me with her boots •*whispers* owl man •that distant kenhina •*whispers* its leg •a sleepy Kags •I really really hope we see the small giant eventually •*kicks open door* sup bitches your day just got better

79~ •Tardy failing grade duo •ITS LEV YALL •… it’s pronounced what?? •ok so more first year friendships this is good •leaf is so tall I like him •baby hina don’t hurt your head showing off •leaf don’t do this to me you’re too young fam •I ship Hinata/Lev now •OLD CAT MAN COACH YAY •I’m all sweaty now after reading this

80~ •Ahhh my favorite ship Nekoma/Karasuno •He jump! •It’s blocked! •Shipping LevHina so hard rn •god my cat son is so smart •Ukai-San you’re so good an awesome coach •That little glance Kags gave Hinata •I can’t believe Asahi killed my son •bad Hinata stealing is wrong! •he wants to stop closing his eyes •I’ve heard tales about this part •not ready

81~ •"Room to grow" more like room to sob •Kags has problems with change •#same •second hand stress is awful holy shit •Takeda is best waifu •ITS FUKURODANI YESSSSSSSSS •HEY HEY HEEEEY BITCH •Hinata wants to fight on his own •Kags does not •I am stressed •Hinata is a fucking magical boy he can slow time in the air •Champions of the skies has a nice ring to it

82~ •Eyyyyyy it’s Narita! •oh my god Karasuno/Nekoma is so REAL •so is Hinata/Lev shit!!! •Toss him the ball Kageyama •lil yachi helping the boys so pure •oh shit it’s happening •not ready •(but personal growth is important too so Hinata is doing the right thing but fighting still isn’t fun) •…. Kageyama did not just say that •Tanaka to the rescue thank god •I am hurt. •wounded. •in pain. •They were partners. •Don’t smoke Ukai-san you’ll get gross •The lil tykes volleyball classroom. Is that where Kags went as a smol berry? •OH FUCK ITS OIKAWA •OH SHIT ITS OLD MAN UKAI

83~ •I already love sassy grandpa •I HEARD UKAI SENIOR WAS RIPPED THAT HE HAD A SIX PACK •I LOVE grandUkai •Awww Oikawa has a lil nephew •and apparently takes Monday’s off •Kags needs to work on his people skills, but when it comes to Oikawa yelling and looking weird was probably for the best •Oh my god we get it Tooru you’re in love with Kags •lil nephew dropping hints that Oikawa is single •…. I love Oikawa Tooru and he thinly veiled emotions •Ohhh these tiny kids are so cute! •and they think Hinata is in middle school lol •so much knowledge to be gained from grandUkai •I can’t even take notes I’m so invested in the story •vroom vroom bitch •Ukai-san chill your freaking beans sir you’re scaring the berry

84~ •oh my god my boys are Pokémon that need to evolve •can grandUkai adopt me? I want his words of wisdom always •so learning about a new style of quick. This is so cool •"Your punch was super effective" IT REALLY IS POKÉMON •awww Tanaka called her Yacchan •Team B!!? •FUCK •ITS •MY •WIFE •MICHIMIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA •Asahiiiiiii trying to practice serving •Noya is tossing???!!! •Asahi called Noya perfect its canon •Yachi helping Kags ahhhhh •Everyone is working so hard god I love them •I’m so emotional! •Kiyoko’s cute lil ponytail •TRAINING CAAAAAAAAAAAMP

#it's back y'all!!!#RRTH #haikyuu!!#haikyuu manga #i love them so much

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toddmichaelrogers · 7 years

Text

Letter to You

Time continues to march toward nothing. I pass along with it, happy to see currents ripple and shift until I find my reflection marked by tell-tale signs of fear and what some expressionists (scientist who study faces) might call “pretty gay”--but I myself learned to accept as “mostly straight, don’t mind seeing a dick though” a long while ago.

(READ MORE)

The world is falling into the sort of post apocalyptic chaos our stories have been worried & also warning us about for several ages. I’m pretty excited for the 80s again (who knew far right fear tactics, dance music, cocaine and a cold war would ever come back in style?) If you’re reading this as a printout in some sort of home-fashioned bunker, the year is 2017, the American President is a reality star billionaire who was elected by people (both good and bad) in an effort to clear out the politicians in the country’s capital.

One dear friend of mine referred to it as “burning down the house” which is all well and good, unless of course there are people living in that house you have attempted to burn down.

We are three weeks into an uncertain world, run by a puppet of far worse men, a puppet who is obviously, quite clinically insane. I actually worried about typing that for an instant, here, in the “land of free speech”. That’s how bad it is. The people surrounding him are open racists / enemies of the LGBTQ community, and misinformed religious fear mongers. This week airports across the country were shut down by protesters after refugees and travelers from several foreign countries were banned from entering. I saw a picture of Muslim people praying in an airport while an American crowd cheered them on and it nearly moved me to tears. (And I eat a lot of salt, so if I cry it burns and I fuckin’ feel it). I will not leave this country. So what am I to do? Should I write politicians? Call them? Does this matter at all, or has it ever? I have lists of resources on Tumblr, saved between gifs of cartoons and porn searches. What am I to do? Also what gets the best results? “NSFW” or “Boobs very humungo gifs”?

I don’t know what to do. But I am grateful for the art and politicians this horrible world is about to create.

EFFORTS the band I am in was asked to play a show. This is nice as no one has heard our music. We have declined any other opportunities to perform, but a few weeks into this political fuckquake was the right time to ask, I guess. So tomorrow we have band practice, and then we’ll be playing our first show ever, later this month. I definitely want to puke but in like, a good way. Like prom nerves. Prom puking.Like a Prom-Puke-Posal

We’ve been recording our first album since November 2015. Back then it was just me and Zach. Then a guy named Geoffrey heard our demos and asked to play bass for us. No one else was asking, so we eventually said yes. Nearly a year later Zach and I tracked most of the album (there are maybe 5 songs still missing) and Geoffrey had sent us his bass demos for each. It was October 2016 and the album has been taking so long that I started pulling demos together for some other sort of release. I was going to call it DAMNSEL & THE EUTH GROUP and Geoffrey said he would produce it, but a few songs in it became obvious we were just making another EFFORTS album and now Zach is involved as well.

xxxxx

New future efforts stuff @thisisgeoffrey and I fucked with last night.

A video posted by Todd Michael Rogers (@d_a_m_n_s_e_l) on Jan 3, 2017 at 12:40pm PST

xxxxxx

The plan is to finish our first LP (I Bought You A Coffin) and then either license it to a record label, preferably in the UK (Plan A) or just do it the fuck ourselves (Plan B). Then when that’s all said and done we’ll have the next bit of music ready, which will be released as two EPs (2.1 Sorry Everyone Disappoints You) and EP2 which I have a name for but it’s not official or anything (2.2 Mean Songs to Hurt People). After we release the 2 EPs-- each holding 6 songs--we’ll smash them together for our second album (2.final form May The Eyes That Rise Upon You Never Know (Your True Heart). I even have album covers for all three but I ain’t showin’ em here yet. So far the first EP is missing 1 and a half songs, and the second is all in demo pieces.

A lot of these plans seem fanciful at best but it’s sort of how I always work on things, ‘shoot for the stars and hope you don’t put a bullet in your own boot’. A lot of it came about one night when Zach and I stayed up drinking as we concocted a five year plan, should anyone ever ask us if we had one.

But it all start now, with finishing this album, making our facebook page (LINK), playing our first few shows, and releasing our first single (May You Absorb all Evil) But look, we even have a cover for it, granted to us by the artist Liam Barrett. We’ll release this baby sometime this Summer, along with a music video I have been meticulously planning for over a year.

I miss writing the novel. It’s been over a month since I touched it, but printing out my progress from the start of 2016 to the end was amazing.

I think the time away from it will be good, the fear, the worry, the feworry is leaving it for too long, allowing it to get lost in the current of the sea (see opening paragraph, this blog).

My plan is to look at what I’ve done (dangerous) do a quick edit job upon it (also dangerous, but hopeful/most/ly this is just a grammar bombing), and then see where the first 200 pages are at. I hope I’m doing the right thing, the bow of the ship needs to be set through some very particular territory, and even I know I’m telling a strange story in a weird way. I could smashed to bits upon the rocks of those who would never publish it.

But I miss it.

WHYLC is a comic book I started writing 10 years ago next month (Jesus Fucking Christ) and which I eventually self published online after taking it upon these keep-it-100 hands to illustrate. Issue 2 will take even more time, but for those of you who read it, the work shall continue. I reallllly like making comics and it was sort of the first thing I ever wanted to do writing wise.

PS Issue 1 can always be found right here (LINK)

Spell Saga could destroy anyone, at any given time, if they saw the scope and horror of the project, stretching like ley lines backwards & forwards, away from my heart. I’ve spent the better half of a year working days and nights to pay for both a) my cool ideas and b) my dumb mistakes. This has resulted in many more cards being printed than initially anticipated, and most of my ‘money bucks’ being sent out as packages of said cards to patient wonderful truly unbelievable fans across the globe.

(Meagen Crawford took dis pic)

Do you know how long it takes to package something? Or even double check and print the correct address? Let alone figure out a packaging solution after the US Postal Service gave you the WRONG information? It’s been a fucking nightmare--but a super neat problem to have. I can panic and smile, I do both all the time.

The next step of the process is sort of manifold:

First I have to finish sending packages to places like the UK, Singapore & Brazil. Then I have to wire the final amount to the manufacturer which was delayed by all the changes we made during initial production. THEN I have to finish re-designing DECK 2 (it’s just a new Photoshop HD makeover, no rules changes). THEN I have to get the packaging for deck 2 finalized (make sure everything is the right size, get UPC code etc.) THEN I have to wire the manufacturer to print this deck and ship everything out together from Hong Kong to any US coast and down to me in lil ole Tennessee.

Then I get my shit together. Spell Saga has been bruised and hidden away while the manufacturing continued. Having Decks 0, 1, and 2 printed and at my fucking door (taking up most of my living room) will give me the privilege and honor of sending everyone another deck for free (thanks for waiting) along with sending out marketing packages to game reviewers across the Earth. It will coincide with the continued but stalled development of the Spell Saga library (a web page of game resources formerly known as the wikiFAQ).

Getting the game back up to good standing is a very real priority for this lonely designer. When I have all that cooking at the right degree I can finally finish the main game by Designing DECK 3 and the Ending with Cousin Lauren. (Then I’ll have to pay for that one to get printed too. That’s 10 grand. Right there.)

PS Cousin Lauren has a page for her art now. Check it out (LINK)

In the INTERIM. The Meantime. IN the age of Meanness: I’ve been designing a new SPell Saga deck, called 1.5 The Under Sky. It’s a sort of bridge between decks 1 and 2, that also acts like a warp into deck 3 if it’s played right. The Look, Feel, Story, and emotional journey of this Deck matches the others--it’s still the story of The Last Minstrel--but while decks 1,2, and 3 were created with the emotions of a bad marriage and a young man afraid of what his life might have become, this DECK is sort of based on how it’s felt to publish the game and everything that’s happened to me in my own journey. Making things is hard. It’s so hard. It’s super terrible and impossible. But getting to the end is the whole point of a journey, and this deck celebrate that.

In The Under Sky, you play as The Last Minstrel, but you’ve sort of lost your way to The Forest, as well as your friends. It’s the idea of knowing exactly what you want, until a sort of early 20s suburban existentialism hits like a storm to blow you so off course you aren’t even sure who you are anymore, much less where you’re going. During the game you’ll explore the insides of living keeps called Castle Crashers, making friends with mirages and using a creature called the dark pixie to pull magical items out of ordinary places. There’s also a river of blood that’s spilling out from a talking disembodied head of a fallen god. It’s pretty cool.

If I’m nervous about anything it’s that the mechanics are advanced to say the least. It’s still the same old Spell Saga but there’s new ideas there too. Like, imagine five cards that are in a circle. The hero token (representing your character) can move left or right on the circle visiting each card (each representing a different place to visit) if you’ve played Spell Saga before, the idea should seem familiar, it’s the main and most basic mechanic of the game. But now, imagine each card in the circle is a stack 5 cards deep, and when you move from one stack to the next the cards in each stack are shuffled, the order they rest in dependant upon how you enter or leave the stack with your token. That’s some scary shit to try and “make a rulebook out of” but I think it’s going to work. I want every Spell Saga deck to kind of have it’s own vibe going on, each playing off the mechanics you may have learned in the previous deck.

There’s other Spell Saga news too:

If anyone is reading this Realmwalker ~ Science//Armor//Romance will be republished with typographical errors removed and a new box sometime near March. This was a game I released a year ago (Judas Iscariot Priest!) on The Gamecrafter, and then removed until i had time to fix it.

The next Realmwalker ~ The Discordant Shore is half designed and really a very exciting game. I think it should be done by June, and that one will also be on The Gamecrafter. The Reason this one took so long is half the cards are also copies of special handmade cards I’ll be sending out to people who spent dat ca$h on the Kickstarter, y’know, back in 2014 (Satan’s Red Mouth!).

Are you still here? Are you still reading this?

French Toast Gaming Co.’s next game, something I first worked on twenty years ago, and then spent the better part of a decade worrying about is about to be released this year. EPIOCH was supposed to come out last August, but many delays pushed it away. Now my good friend Weshoyot has nearly finished the art, and all the game needs is more playtesting and a rulebook before it pops up on The Gamecrafter. Here’s an art peek, and you should check out her instagram. (LINK).

That’s everything I needed to type out to stay sane. Thanks for following along all three of you. I appreciate it. There’s been other things too of course, lost jobs, another concussion, dreams where I tell my secrets to people who look disappointed. But you don’t need to know any of that. Not really. It will all come out in the artwork anyway.

OR THE patron page PODCAST, I GUESS.

-mE.

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