now i gotta ask. how did dctv teth-adam and zari meet?

well. i acidentally plotted out what season 8 would've been, and the tragic thing is if i'd even posted this in january of this year we would've gotten a season 8 on tv. nevermind that the cw had negative dollars. phil ran out of material bc i got too horny for matthias and we all know it bc really who contributed more to the legends canon than me? no one. a lot of people would be scared to admit that. a lot of people would be scared. and i'll

so please read this knowing it would've been exactly how the show would've gone. phil is going to read this tonight and fucking sob in the shower for 6 hours about what could've been

we know the legends are going to time-jail. in my little universe, we get the scene where they do the going into the jail catwalk in their little jumpsuits- WHICH, by the WAY, are styled in ways that appropriately reflect everyone's personalities, because i know what i'm fucking about- and there's general chaos and probably a song over it and zari, who is the focus of the season alongside booster (they're foils baby), is somewhere towards the back of the group, like maybe astra and spooner are behind her, and she just sees this guy who's kind of pointedly ignoring them sort of all the way in the back of the crowd and she's like huh it's weird that i'm noticing him and it's also notable that he has some kind of like- she thinks it's a breathing device, like maybe he's from space or something, and later finds out it's a gag of some kind

and listen. it looks like a respirator mask without the parts you put the filters on bc this is legends, we went to the store and we got a 3m half face and we spray-painted it like dark green and it's attached with spirit gum, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

and just as she looks at This Guy he finally looks up at the legends, her specifically, and there's this moment of very bizarre eye contact where she kind of just stands and stares at him and he's staring at her and astra walks into her and is like what are you even looking- sees teth-adam in the crowd- do you have a radar for finding the worst guy in any room? is this your gift?

so for me 8a would be very much like when dutch, johnny, & d'av were in jail in killjoys, specifically the part where everyone seems able to just wander around and bother each other, why not it's not like this is a prison or anything (side note big part of this season is about how prisons need to be abolished <3) where zari has this fixation on this guy and he seems equally fixated on her and everyone else is like. hey. is this getting weird should we intervene?

i would also love to actually create zari and behrad conflict as they start to go in very separate directions because tala and shayan could make that shit hurt. haven't fully plotted this. more on that as i think it up

part a.2 is booster's plot, which i haven't figured out yet but will be sexy. it would probably build on him trying to find ted and/or bring him back to life, as was alluded to in the 1 dc's legends of tomorrow comic based on the TV show we will ever get, and i actually love the idea of zari and booster basically being an investigating team where they're both the charmer and neither one of them has any lock picking skills but they're literally like. they'd be perfect for each other if they didn't have fixations on other people at the moment. but there's chemistry.

the b plot is spooner basically becoming the most popular person in time jail and astra getting jealous and then they make up and it's gay you know this trope you've seen it that's what's happening they kiss emmy please

anyway the midseason finale, to me, would be zari finally getting this guys mask off at the same time that astra finally figures out who he is and is like well. shit fuck shit fuck i guess! and zari thinks he's going to kiss her and instead he cups her cheek and says that magic word and the two of them get struck by lightning <3 couple goals <3 <3 <3 and this would be how we give zari her comics powers without her totem. listen they've bent so much canon in the dctv universe let me have this. i deserve this

8b is about zari getting the "heroism" she wanted and weighing it against the cost of the strain it now has caused on her relationships with the legends, especially with behrad, who's like hey. we can share the totem again but this isn't you. zari needs a rebellious phase! behrad needs to call her to the mat! black adam needs to be like kind of unconditionally in love with zari but also she's not entirely sure he doesn't just love a different character she's putting on, like she's ditched the dragon girl for what she thought she wanted- but maybe what she really needs is balance? parallel this to finding out how booster ended up trapped by the time cops the first time, and how being a hero maybe cost him ted? and him reconciling what he'd have to give up to get ted back?

i'm literally a genius and i've read at least 2 books.

anyway this ends with zari realizing she wants to be captain of the waverider after behrad with his totem saves her even though she's all shazamed out, so while she doesn't give up her powers, she at least un-shazams herself for the time being with explicit confirmation, leigh bardugo, that she can re-shazam whenever she wants, and black adam agrees to support her but won't un-shazam and we can tell if this series were to continue (but it won't this is the series finale) they would have conflicts over this bc i know how to keep a relationship fucking interesting, phil,

my c plot is that gary is no longer an alien and he starts a jewish prison gang like the one in arrested development