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excorcismic · 4 years

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❛ and my eyes are DAMP from the words you left , ringing in my head when you broke my chest . . . ❜

❛ I’M STILL YOUR ZELDA . ❜ playlist . plotting call . listen as you read !

the mirrors surrounding you did as they were meant to, reflecting back a spitting image of COURTNEY EATON - but it’s clear something is wrong from the moment that a vision of THE SAVIOR ; BLINDING LIGHT AS YOU PROTECT YOUR FINAL HOPE strikes you. perhaps it was a passing daydream in the frenzy of the funhouse. you reassure yourself - you’re ( PRINCESS ) ZELDA KING ! , a TWENTY-TWO YEAR-OLD BIOLOGY STUDENT / FLORIST EMPLOYEE whose virtue lies in your + INTELLIGENT & + GOOD-HEARTED , although you’ve been told that you tend to be quite - INSECURE & - PESSIMISTIC , and you’re associated with THE PRESSURE OF APOCALYPSE ON YOUR SHOULDERS , THE BLINDING LIGHT OF AN EXORCISM - A CLEANSING OF EVIL , GOLDEN TEARS FALLING INTO COLD & UNKIND WATERS OF PRAYER by those around you. suddenly , however , you’ve found GOLDEN BRACELETS on your person - was that always there ? from the moment you leave the funhouse, memories from your life in THE LEGEND OF ZELDA have begun to return - leaving whoever you had been before in the mirror’s reflection behind you . you can almost hear I OF THE STORM by OF MONSTERS AND MEN following in your wake. ( she/they & genderfluid )

this is the story of a very powerful being .

I . IF I COULD FACE THEM, IF I COULD MAKE AMENDS WITH ALL MY SHADOWS . . .

zelda king is born to a prestigious family with years of alucard history in their bloodlines . their father , speaking the word of the lord with a tongue of gold , and their mother , speaking the scripts of the law with a tongue of silver . they’re comfortable & happy - and the bundle they hold in their arms is the one that will carry along their glory .

so , simply , a child does not grow allowed to be a child - nothing but the best , that is what zelda king has been told to be from a young age .

from the moment she can enroll in school , she enters an expensive private school . from the moment she can speak , she is instructed to help her father with sunday mass . from the moment she can walk , she is sent to try out every single sport or physical activity until she finds one that suits her fancy ( she finds it in fencing . ) and it’s decided from an early age that she’ll either go into lord or law , golden tongue or silver . nothing else . and she is to get nothing but the best grades , as a prodigy is the bare minimum for what a king should be .

II . I’D BOW MY HEAD , AND WELCOME THEM . . .

zelda king has no say in the matter when it comes to her life - she doesn’t grow up with many friends that she chooses on her own , but she does have a few that her parents approve of . she doesn’t do much outside of the activities expected of her , but she likes to watch the other kids play & mess around . studying , fencing , praying - it seems like that’s all she knows .

but there’s an instance where her parents are out of town , and zelda’s aunt rachel is the one they ask to babysit . and aunt rachel introduces the young child to a new concept : fun . fun is something that every child should prioritize , according to her , and the week that she is gone does zelda begin to learn what she’s missing out on .

her aunt first takes her on a trip to the park , and from then on zelda is enamored by the outside world she has yet to see up close . her aunt teaches her about flowers & nature and they spend the afternoon trudging through muddy grass and getting themselves dirty with the earth around them , making ‘food’ out of the dandelions and weed , picking wildflowers and braiding them together . the next day , aunt rachel takes zelda to the book store - and she purchases a bunch of books on flora & fauna with bright pictures yet lots of words . as her aunt bakes cookies , zelda points out everything she likes .

bedtime stories consist of stories about gods & goddesses and princesses , knights , monsters . a few of them lead the young child to want to learn more , and back they go to the book store , where aunt rachel gives her books on greek , norse , egyptian mythos and more . as her aunt tends to a bundle of roses on the kitchen table , zelda tells her how cool it’d be to be like athena or freya .

but week-long vacations last for a week and not forever , and as much as zelda wishes it was different , aunt rachel has to leave again . but even as she’s put through her usual activities and rigorous studies once more , she’s found a new love in other things : the world around her , present and past . her parents shut the door on her to go to bed and she pulls out a flashlight , so instead of sleeping , she reads nothing but the books her aunt gave her .

III . BUT I FEEL IT BURNING , LIKE WHEN THE WINTER WIND STOPS MY BREATHING . . . > ( tw : maternal death )

it’s years still of endless pushing & pursuing but here is zelda still immersed in her passions to keep her from falling - as it feels like pillars of expectations are on her shoulders . she’s atlas , but while she holds the sky she thinks of the earth around her & the stories and fairytales and the pain becomes less and less .

of course . . . that does not save her from the pain that comes with a lost loved one .

mrs . king is laid to rest when zelda is seventeen ; the scholarly child is already overcome with grief , and as her father holds her hand while sobbing , they recover together at a slow pace . things are quiet as they calm , but over a few months as zelda tells him of her acceptance into college - he tells her that she must go into law to make her mother proud . it was the woman’s dying wish , after all , and her law firm will be zelda’s when she’s ready .

but . . . that is not what zelda wants . she wants to go into science ; to research and study life around her , and to explore and see more of the wonders beyond alucard . she doesn’t want to be in a stuffy courtroom , she wishes to run around and study the beauty that populates this planet . but when she assigns her major as biology , her father fumes . the only way she can appease him is promising she’ll minor in law , and she does so , but there’s nothing but endless frustration .

she loves her mom , and she wants to respect her mom’s memory - but she should not toss away her own person to do so .

as a college student , zelda sits back and reflects on her past two decades of allowing her parents to shape her into someone they want rather than what she wants to be . only her aunt has allowed her to be her own person , and at this point she realizes that she only know a bit about herself . she hasn’t had much of an opportunity to discover who she is , but she knows what she likes - science & history .

she sits in her college dorm , alone at her desk , thinking to herself about how she’s an adult now ; she is free , and the only thing that can allow her to still cave into what others want is herself . she makes a vow to start moving into the directions she wants ; she has only known herself to be by what others think - the whispers of little miss perfect and the alucard prodigy are common epithets . and she is proud that she’s intelligent , but she’d rather try and make her own path and get to know herself better .

so she promises to discover zelda king , and not the perfect princess , the goody-two-shoes , the next in the bloodline . there is a slumbering power that resides in this person . . . a slumbering power that she’ll unlock by learning who she is .

IV . ARE YOU REALLY GONNA LOVE ME WHEN I’M GONE ??

she still needs to slowly stave from twenty years of people pleasing - baby steps . the expectations she’s under are still heavy and she has yet to figure out how she wants to free herself of them .

she does know a few things : one , she does genuinely love knowledge and learning . scholarly pursuits are her passions , especially those having to do with scientific and historical studies . museums and exhibits are her favorite places as well as botanical gardens and open parks .

two , she doesn’t hate everything her parents have introduced to her . fencing is something she’s still active in ; maybe that’s something that comes with the pride of being a champion , but she doesn’t mind it .

three , she wants to explore not only the world around her , but the people . even people that her father would never allow inside the house - in fact , that only DRAWS zelda to them . she wants to expand her horizons , do away with the perfection reputation she’s gained . she is still . . . new , but she is determined to shake the perception .

her talents are not only known in the social circle of her family - given the fact her father is a local preacher and her mother was a popular & well-trusted lawyer , their prodigy child only had her own reputation . from fencing champion to star student to trilingualist to golden choir child , she’s either loved or hated by those who strictly only know her by her epithets . it’s . . . irritating , to say the least .

she doesn’t believe in religion & law sours her , even though she does as well in the latter as much as she does in biology . she has a natural gift for speaking & presenting , but would rather engage in the environment of the outdoors and the laboratories than the courtroom .

and . . . sometimes it is easy to tell that she is cracking under the stress and pressure she’s been carrying for years . a kind person & an intellectual with gifts , talent , skill - but she still needs to learn it’s okay to breathe . she can let herself breathe now . it’s alright .

some chances to breathe come - such as her job at the florist ; she can spat off a million facts about each flower , each succulent , each plant . she loves the arrangement of bouquets , the look on a young teen’s face as she fixes their corsage . flowers are a gift to the world zelda can’t help but appreciate .

she also loves the library ; still sometimes more focused on books of her passions than her studies . she knows almost every greek , egyptian , norse myth by heart , and has read almost every book on those shelves at least twice .

twenty two years old , genderfluid , pansexual . passionate in all things biology , history , flowers , and mythos . still a lot to discover , but . . . zelda is becoming quite fond of the person she’s finding herself to be . perhaps one of the smartest people in alucard , but certainly with a heart as big as her brain .

and they call me under . . .

there is someone . someone with blood in her mouth , dirt on her cheeks , but herpalms glow with the golden light of the heavens & her veins run with the divine ichor of gods . she looks at zelda from the other side of the mirror with damp & reddened eyes , but as her chin rises with confidence , there’s maybe a smile of COCKINESS and belief that no matter what evil comes towards her , she’s got this . and zelda . . . as confused as she is , leaves the house of mirrors with the same thing . she’s a being of the gods ; ichor flows through her veins and every word from her mouth is from the tongues of the heavens . and there is power that resides in every action , every line spoken . . . she is both blessed & a blessing , and she will do good things here .

#duality.intro #her . it's her . the love of my life . my everything . my joy .#i ... adore her more than anything pls come love her .#there is . an error in that gif that i forgot to fix but it's 3 am and i am tired . so .#and yes the quote is actually from ss zelda bt see it gets me emo so i used it .#░ ★ abt . ❛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴇᴄʜᴏᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ﹐ ·ᴛɪʟ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ ɪs ᴍʏ ɢʜᴏsᴛ / zelda #maternal death tw #parent death tw #death tw

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