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#also if the quality sucks its because this is just a screenshot

anistarrose · 7 months

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The funny thing about Tumblr and its site culture is that usually, staff rolls out a shitty update, and users band together to design an extension that reverts it/spread word of said extension to their followers. But sometimes, we get the opposite instead, where Tumblr rolls out what seems like a great feature, but then site culture changes in response to make the blogging experience significantly worse.

I am, of course, talking about the option to turn off reblogs. In a vacuum? S-tier quality of life change. But big picture? Huge spike in the number of people who screenshot posts to circulate them without any kind of image description or alt text, making them completely inaccessible to screen readers. (Or people who would normally be able to read it with increased font size, but can't do so as an image because Tumblr's zoom-in feature sucks.)

It's just. Like. Come on, folks. Especially you're on browser, you can literally copy and paste, and it'll take no more than fifteen seconds. Even if you're on mobile, you should still be transcribing it.

If you run into issues being unable to type it for whatever reason, try an online text extractor like onlineocr.net, maybe Google Lens if that's more mobile-friendly for you, or whatever alternative works. (This advice also applies if you see an undescribed screenshot in the wild.)

Like, this should not be nearly this difficult for nearly as many Tumblr users as are posting inaccessible screenshots because OP turned reblogs off. Same goes for screenshotted tags, as a matter of fact. I'm trying not to make every sentence in this post start with "like, come on," but like. Come on.

#accessibility

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otakween · 3 months

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Digital Monster: D-Project - Final Thoughts

Some quick stats:

This is my 13th Digimon game completed in less than 2 years, yay me!

This game took me 10 days to play. Love me a game that doesn't overstay its welcome.

This game was fantastic! It was probably most similar to the first Digimon World gameplay-wise, but waaay less convoluted and a lot cuter. Unlike in DW I had no problem getting the digivolutions I wanted and progressing through the game at a comfortable pace. There were a few "guide dang it!" moments here and there, but the game is mostly reasonable about hinting at what you're supposed to be doing. Full thoughts below.

Notes:

I loved the meta premise of this game. Basically when you boot it up, DemiDevimon comes along and "corrupts your game file." You then get sucked into the game world, "Swan World" (geddit, cuz Wonderswan?) The rest of the game is dedicated to restoring your corrupted surroundings and returning evil digimon to their nice forms. Very satisfying.

The v-pet aspect of the game was fun. The controls for calling/releasing your digimon were very intuitive. I liked how I could release them in various places like I was putting them out to pasture. The only really annoying thing was keeping the digimon fed because you had to input 4 digits to get one meat over and over and over again.

Of course I just used a guide to figure out the right codes, but the "enter a code and get a mystery digiegg" gimmick was cute. I really liked the animation of the egg slowly generating. It was a little weird because what digiegg you started with didn't matter much in the end, but oh well.

For some reason you have the ability to praise and scold your digimon? I understand praising because maybe it raises their happiness (I never actually checked), but there is no advantage to scolding in this game as far as I could tell.

Instead of the DW1 digivolution mechanic where you need a PHD in digivolving to get the right digimon, you just raise them in a certain environment to get the desired outcome. SO much easier. I liked that I could switch from line to line going from rookie to champion to make the game go quicker.

Except for the crazy last boss, it sort of felt like the difficulty level remained the same throughout the whole game. I brought a rookie into many battles, for example, and ended up being fine.

Omg the sprites in this game are so good!! Battling was so fun to watch (you can button mash to improve accuracy, but you don't really participate). Some kind soul uploaded all the sprites for download. I thought the Kyubimon victory animation was really funny:

Once I discovered jogress/DNA evolution I was like HELL YEAH 🔥🔥🔥 cuz the animation was so badass and took up like half the screen (wish I got more screenshots). There was also a really satisfying "BOOM!" sound effect during digivolution.

Lots of colorful, fun environments (especially compared to the last game which was blah). Another quality of life complaint is you have to go all the way to the start of the map every time you need food. There should have been more shortcuts to get from place to place.

I was actually kind of grateful that digimon die in this game. They have a pretty long lifespan, which is nice, but sometimes you need to clear up storage in your PC or you want the chance to raise a different type, so mons dying wasn't as soul crushing as in previous games.

If you can't read Japanese, I think I'd still recommend this game. The visuals and gameplay are enough to carry it and the controls/menus are pretty simple.

I give Digital Monster: D-Project an 8 out of 10

#digital monster: d-project #digimon #video games #games #wonderswan #oswan

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degenderates · 9 months

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ok fuck it. ranking covers of a home at the end of the world by michael cunningham because guys some of these covers slap and some of them are the ugliest shit i've ever seen. this is the kind of post i would have used to make back in my tiktok days but there's no way im opening that app by my own will again. so mutuals read this post.

last place/ugliest cover first.

the stock photo. literally what is going on here. the font is practically unreadable and makes no sense. the image itself looks like someone pulled it right off shutterstock. its giving my middle school vsco account. why are there three women on the front? the story is primarily about two guys and one girl. i mean there is a second female pov but she's not part of the polycule. font is clean but ugly. bye.

the movie poster one. i have so much beef with this cover, even as a movie poster. they literally took three screenshots of the movie and overlayed them into a weird collage type thingy. why is colin farrell standing like that?? why is the character jonathan in the back?? it's giving disney channel. it's giving early 00s--in a bad way. no rights at all. 🍅🍅🍅

the perks of being a wallflower one. i guess there was a craze for late 90s books to have typewriter font in the middle of a minimalistic cover?? i hate minimalistic, abstract covers. you could choose to tell us something about the book but no. here is an orange circle and a black circle. okay.

the modern cover (i assume). i like the watercolor and how it's not too busy but there's still a discernable image (unlike a CERTAIN cover i just discussed...🙄). the font kind of fucks up the whole thing though. it doesn't match the vibes of the book at all. it's very new-adult-romance and just feels off. because yeah technically the book is about new adults and their relationship drama but it's not this...cute.

the uk cover (?). the quality of this image sucks but i literally could only find it on abebooks.co.uk so. it's not bad, just really busy. the font has a shadow so it can be readable but that makes it feel even more cluttered. i like how the angel statue makes an appearance, but all the colors and how bright it is just makes it feel like a little too much.

the color burned one. honestly while i like the vibes i'm not quite sure who this lady is supposed to be. that looks like a wing so she's probably the white angel statue, but she looks too human. and angels aren't different colors like that. i like how this is simple and black, very classy. but ultimately it doesn't really make a lot of sense.

the grey one. this is simple, but nice. it's dark but with light shining behind the house--a nice balance of hardships but also hope, which fits the story. there's a swingset, which makes sense given the story is about growing up, in a sense. and there might have been a swingset at the actual house in the book. can't remember. the font is clean. a little sci-fi/futuristic for my taste but that's alright i guess. this is the cover i have. i guess i should be lucky it's not one of the previous ones but i really wish i had the next one...

the first edition. look it's classy. it's gothic. the angel is there. the sky looks like it could be ohio or nyc. there's powerlines. the font is stylish but not over the top. it's not too bright. it's slaying. one of my favorite things about this cover is how it emphasizes the angel, because the book itself was written around michael cunningham's seminal short story "white angel" which i have talked about a lot on this blog. it also is in a similar pose to the actual angel statue it was based on, the black angel of iowa city (shown below). i'm a fan. i wish i had this cover soooo bad<333

~~~

overall thoughts: most of these covers are kind of shitty lol. this book deserves better</3 if one of y'all live in the US, dont care much about covers, and want a free copy of this book i'll send my copy (the grey cover) to you for free just so i can buy the top ranked one on ebay lol. anyways if u got to the end and found this at all entertaining, tell me so. this was fun to do except when tumblr deleted the whole thing and i had to remake the entire post!!! lol!!!! and y'all should read this book because it's very good and very messy queer and i adore it deeply. <3

#a home at the end of the world #michael cunningham #book covers #booklr #litblr #this isnt actually a booklr blog lmao if anyone in the booklr tag sees this #white angel #josiah speaks

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azumasoroshi · 1 year

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i have no idea what episode this is part 2

part 2 of this post i think?? tbh i found the clip in some random youtube video i have no idea if this takes place directly after or not and im just judging based on the time of day/setting

(i actually did search through like. the last few episodes of season 1 and the first few episodes of shou and i couldnt find shit so i'm assuming that this episode happened in one of the places i didnt check. not for lack of trying but because the website i was using straight up died on the spot trying to load them all so quickly)

(edit: it's episode 16 of durarara season 1 ty @/pineapplething)

this screenshot is killing me actually. i had to pause instead of doing the 0.25 speed thing because i need his hands to be on his hips so it looks like he's just. staring down at the thing judgingly. izaya's pose is so funny because right before that he's like

'what the fuck are you doing shizu-chan'

i forget the context of this scene too but like. why wasnt he pointing the knife at shizuo?? what were they doing. bro i love not having ANY context whatsoever and being too lazy to look up the actual episode

anyway babygirl looks so ugly in those shots god bless

bro why you arching your back like that 🤨

in front of izaya too. god

the way they have four separate reaction shots for izaya. bro the things that must've been going on through his head were NOT safe for work on god.

the way he says 'seriously' and then remembers to point the knife like bro had to take a second. he was processing. he almost looks enamored in that first shot actually (<- delusional)

izaya's rectangle prism ass never ceases to amaze. glad he keeps that in both art styles

shizuo looks so funny from this angle i bet you could get the most unhinged smear frames every time he goes rage mode

can we get like an angry shizuo aesthetic moodboard except it's all either low quality or smear frames. it'd be really funny trust

also incredible how shizuo can extend the length of the guard rail to like. twice its size. it was not that big in the previous images. i wonder if that's a metaphor for something

god these SUCKED to get pictures of because celty comes in so fast and there's no indication of when the frames will switch but i do it for you (im doing this for me. im obsessed. i have a final on tuesday for the class i have a B in but actually i think it's a D now)

these would probably be much easier to screenshot if i just downloaded the videos but why would i do that when i can press the back arrow key 50 zillion times and listen to the crunchy 0.25 audio explode every time shizuo opens his mouth

this image gets me every time ugh they almost look like they were having a casual conversation or smth (<-delusional)

just. arch enemies both being distracted by something long enough to stop beefing with each other does something to me. i dont even know it doesnt have to be romantic i just like watching it (although it's usually romantic because im a sucker for enemies to/and lovers if you couldnt tell by my usual ships)

that's the end of this scene (or at least the youtube clip of it. you cannot ask me to load all those anime episodes again) but like man. good shit ill be replaying this in my brain for the next week or so

#shizaya #if anyone knows what episode this is...please tell me...im dying #im pretty sure it's sometime in shou and probably near the end but i cant load ittttttt #i need to know what happens after this so i can write a canon divergent fanfic of it where they go home and bang #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #durarara

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foineswoine · 2 months

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tumblr is not a hellsite. this is a decent platform with Worth (because a lot of its users are good && because you can curate your experience very well). reddit, however, is a hellsite because it Fucking Sucks. the UI is bad and a lot of the people are bad.

with my extensive experience on that site (because I hate myself && it was very easy for an anti-social teenager to learn to use), I argue that there are only 3 "general-use" subreddits that have any sort of worth (aside from the cat picture subs && the fandom subs, which have target demographics which keep them relatively clean):

1) HobbyDrama. Legitimately the best subreddit on that website. It's got a great community and has some very well-researched pieces which are genuinely amazing reads. Really fucking good.

2) GatekeepingYuri. It turns gatekeeping/bigoted memes (mostly "not like the other girls stuff, but it varies) and makes them queer. Ya see some really good art and the user base is just very positive. Great sub 👍

3) bonehurtingjuice. It's a creative meme sub which has not hit either of the two common fates that meme subs usually face: stagnation or conservatism. The user base has some really creative people and has some genuinely really funny pieces, which stem from the format of trying to subvert the intention of the oregano (original piece). There's trends there, of course, that sometimes get beaten to death but overall the quality is consistently pretty good and it's not a right-wing cesspool so. Decent place.

4) Honourable mention goes to transgendercirclejerk I love that sub a lot. It fucking sucks ass a ton but it's my garbage pit, yknow? Also the only trans space I feel comfortable looking at since it can be genuinely funny ++ it's not filled with. well okay yeah it is filled with discourse but in the sense that people go there to complain about discourse which makes it bearable.

and no, 196 nor AITA nor any of the other popular subreddits do not have worth they suck as much as the others do. 196 has the whole fetishising trans people angle && centering on white skinniness which isn't as wholesome progressive as they claim to be, and AITA is rage-bait creative-writing central. entertaining in viral screenshots, yes, but not something you'd want to subject yourself to everyday.

god reddit fucking sucks can't wait for the day it shuts down. it won't but a man can dream

#pigeon thoughts

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steakout-05 · 10 months

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[outdated] archiving every single one of Barry's death screen quotes from Monster Dash: a rope of sand

so back when Monster Dash was first released in 2010, Barry had a handful of quotes he would say on the menu screen after he dies. when Monster Dash got updated a while later before being taken down completely, these quotes disappeared from the game and ended up being barely archived, so i thought i'd save every one i could find so they wouldn't fall into obscurity.

i found all these by sifting through decade-old videos recorded on bandicam or by some kid with a camera pointed shakily at the screen so i apologise for the quality being inconsistent and dodgy

first image id: "Note to self: Next time there is a wall, don't jump into it!"

second image id: "Agghh walls. My only weakness."

these were used for when Barry died by running into a wall and falling into the endless void :3 these were also the most common that i kept finding because slamming into walls was very common in the videos i sorted through,, i understand its ok

image ids: "That [enemy] is just angry because no one will ever love him. Or her. Or whatever it is." (this quote switches out the name of the enemy depending on which one Barry got killed by, which is either a zombie, a mummy, a yeti, a vampire or a demon)

damn Barry going off!! this is one of the meanest things he has ever said to anyone ever and i think that is incredibly funny, jesus Barry

first image id: "Damn you spikes hiding cleverly in plain sight!"

second image id: "Who designed this place and thought spikes everywhere would be a good idea?"

these were used for when Barry died to spikes,,, not much else to say other than that i find these to be very charming and funny

first image id: "Why couldn't I die wearing a cool hat?"

second image id: "That fortune teller sucks! There are no sharks with lasers involved in my demise!"

third image id: "Dying is as fun as a bag of jellyfish!"

these are some miscellaneous ones that show up randomly regardless of how Barry kicks the bucket, i like them a lot and they were some of the more rare quotes i found :D

first image id: "At least I died with dignity... And my pants!"

second image id: "It's time to start a re-run!"

third image id: "I hope I come back as a zombie."

that first quote i literally could only find in like 2 videos, it's apparently pretty rare! i apologise for the fact that it was recorded off some dude's ancient iPad, the only other screenshot i have of it is in an even worse quality taken half a metre away from someone's computer screen...

first image id: "I hope Death is ready to rock-off the top bunk!"

second image id: Why am I the cat with only one life?"

third image id: "When you die can you take your weapons with you?"

more miscellaneous quotes... not much else really

image id: "You win this round, [enemy]s. Next time we meet, you won't be so lucky." (another quote that switches out the name of the enemy Barry dies to. the image here says he died to vampires.)

and finally, a monster-death specific quote to end on :) if anyone knows about any more quotes i might have missed feel free to reply with them and i'll try to find a video or an image of them. i think i got all of them though,,, i hope so....

#barry steakfries #monster dash #halfbrick #the only reason these aren't in higher quality is because i can't find any old version of this game anywhere #like the chrome version is long dead and i can't run ipa files on my phone cause y'know.... android user #also the chrome version is considered lost media it's completely unplayable without logging in on the wayback machine #which doesn't work :( it keeps looping back #maybe one day i might find an old iphone with the original 2010 game on it.... one day......

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theygotlost · 1 year

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im actually really fascinated by video game advertising the 90s and 2000s. @vgprintads is such an awesome archive for getting a glimpse into that stuff.

nowadays video footage of gameplay or cutscenes is taken for granted in advertising but that wasn't the case when a lot of gaming journalism was still being distributed in print.

print video game ads hardly ever relied on still screenshots of the game either. for one it can be pretty hard to communicate an interactive audiovisual experience with just a still image, but I also think it's because the graphics sucked and they knew it. high quality graphics didn't really seem to be a big selling point like they are now (which is one reason game footage is so important in modern advertising), and they wouldn't have been very "high quality" anyway.

so instead, advertisements were less about the game itself and a lot more about how playing the game will make you FEEL. they were selling an experience, not a product (which is like, rule 1 of advertising).

which is not to say that all this is inherently "better", the gaming industry was and still is rife with misogyny. they leaned hard into the 18-24 white male demo. ive seen so many old game ads to the effect of "if you play our awesome video game HOT BABES IN YOUR AREA WITH HUUUUUUGE BOOBS WILL WANNA SEX YOU" etc.

ive done zero actual research on this or anything. its just something i like to fixate on for no reason

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doodlepede · 2 years

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so im watching The Sea Beast and yeah woah. 13:34 in, im incredibly invested.

the animation is stellar with high quality water effects and textures, i was kinda worried because from what I'd seen in screenshots people had posted, the beasts looked like plastic or rubber toys to me and i didnt like that. especially the small ones, we'll see how i feel about those when we get there.

The character designs are very striking and memorable, theres a lot of characters thrown at you pretty quickly and i found myself asking is this one Captain Crow like on the book? is this one? no no it has to be that one right? which is actually okay to me, it forces the viewer to pay more attention and figure it out until we're told for sure who the other characters (namely older black woman who reminds me of Eileen from bloodborne, and the orange haired woman) are.

the camera movement really stands out with the long-takes during action scenes (which are super fucking well coreographed holy shit) that really suck you in, especially during that pre-bit, how the camera tracks the character as they're pulled underwtaer and such, very engaing.

and the music!!!! very good thus far! not getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes whatsoever (good, it would feel like a ripoff. obvious musical ripoffs cheapen the experience)

I really like how much attention to detail was put into the way the beasts are hunted. its like whaling, but much much much more high stakes and intense, and they have unique strategies and gadgets to reflect that. its not just harpoons and canons, its buoys and attaching themselves to the side of the ship as its tilted to allow a row of them to stab it, and stuff like that. very very creative and we love to see that!

also holy shit? theyre literally depicting alcohol and blood. that's fucking awesome.

okay now to actually finish watching it

#the sea beast

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munchflix · 2 years

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WHY ‘KNOCK KNOCK’ MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME - A WELL-THOUGHT-OUT AND ORGANIZED LIST OF COMPLAINTS (AKA REVIEW) BY BISCUITSANDHORRORSLASH

MAJOR CONTENT WARNING: The following review heavily discusses themes of sexual assault. Reader discretion is advised.

Film is an art form, right? Well, if you disagree, you've probably just had the insufferable experience of watching Knock Knock, a 2015 film directed and partially written by Eli Roth.

"2015?" You might ask, "Why did you write out this whole long-winded review of a movie that came out seven years ago?"

Well, because I have a lot to say about it.

Not long ago here on the Munchflix blog, Munch and I made a tier list of all the movies we'd reviewed. The one we ranked as the worst was a 2018 pseudo-documentary called Demon House, the brainchild (in the loosest sense of the word) of one Zak Bagans. We placed it there not because the movie fails on any front to deliver the basic qualities of a movie - writing, acting, directing, editing, etc. No, while all those things about Demon House most assuredly do suck, the reason I truly hated it was because the film came off as a morally dubious vanity project built on the foundations of exploitation and intentionally trying to deceive its audience.

That was a movie that really, genuinely made me angry - and, for a long time, if you asked me what I thought was the worst movie ever made, I would've said "Demon House". But I have found a movie I think I hate more than that.

Even the trailer for this movie made me mad. This is a movie so unwatchable I could barely even watch it all, even when I was drunk. The first time I tried to watch it all the way through, I had to stop and come back to it later.

This movie is a genuinely harrowing watch for all of the wrong reasons. Now, I don't want to sound like too much of an armchair crusader or anything, but some things make me angry. Sometimes I feel like I have a right to get angry. And at the end of the day, this shit makes me mad.

I do want to say as a disclaimer that this is all my interpretation, and that my takes on this movie and on the portrayal of sexual assault in horror movies (we'll get to that later) in general are most definitely not the end-all be-all. I also do not claim to speak on behalf of victims of sexual assault or abuse and, again, the views and opinions expressed herein are solely my own.

Anyways, I'm still going to eviscerate this movie.

(You may notice that there aren’t any of our usual gifs in this review, and that’s because a. I really didn’t want to have to scan back through this movie to make them and b. what I assume is screen recording protection has made it so I literally can’t capture gifs or even screenshots, so I just made some memes instead.)

To help make my thoughts more linear and digestible and not in any attempt to mimic the success of Jenny Nicholson, I have condensed my deranged ramblings into a numbered list.

Point #1 - The "Plot"

The plot of this movie, summarized succinctly, is as follows:

The story follows Evan Webber (Keanu Reeves), a wholesome family man, who invites two young women seeking shelter into his house. These women then spend a gratuitous amount of screen time violating his personal space despite his obvious disinterest, culminating in them forcing themselves on him. They then go about ruining his house, blackmailing him, and spending the latter part of the movie mostly just torturing and berating him. He survives, though, and is rewarded by being buried alive up to his head in the backyard while they publicize a video of him having sex with one of them (which was against his will, by the way) on social media.

Yep, that's it. That's the plot. Ignoring all the supremely objectionable content therein, take a moment to notice how I was able to summarize the entire film in a short paragraph. I'm not omitting much here. This movie is labeled as a 'thriller', but I think that might be a simple mistake - they obviously meant for this movie's genre to be 'filler'. Most of the things that happen are pretty inane and irrelevant (an accurate parallel to the movie itself); this film could've been about 30 minutes long and honestly it probably would've been way better. Nothing thrilling really happens. Hell, nothing entertaining even happens. The first half an hour is basically one of those workplace PSAs about sexual harassment, except just the uncomfortable parts. There's some gross shit and a lot of stuff that just makes you uncomfortable, but it sure as hell isn't scary or tense and it honestly isn't even engaging. While Eli Roth is known for over-the-top torture porn type movies, there's not even that much gore in this one, just some tasteless shock value shit. Most of the actual action is exceptionally short-lived and there's literally never any sense of suspense. It makes the movie feel even more pointless and vapid than it already is.

Oh, and it's also choked to death by the fucking over-the-top cringy-ass tone of a goddamn Adam Sandler movie and some of the most repulsive acting and dialogue I've ever seen put to film. It has a 'cheap' quality to it that I think might be intentional but really just makes you feel like literally nobody involved in this movie gave even 1% of a shit. This film was released in 2015 but its combination of uncomfortable ignorance, trashy style and crass tone give it the flavor of an early 2000s comedy released at a time when shit like the Scary Movie franchise was still popular. It honestly feels like a time machine to one of the worst eras in cinema.

Ok, that's basically it for the technical aspects and whatnot. Now it's time for the real shit. Much like our film's duo of unbearably unsubtle antagonists, let's do some digging, shall we?

Part #2 - Just Give Me A Reason

Yeah, this movie has rape in it. In fact, it's a two-for-one special: you get two rape scenes! It's a special Black Friday BOGO sale!

What's that you say - why does this movie need to have rape in it?

Well...because.

Now, rape being mishandled in a horror movie is unfortunately nothing new. Many a horror film has thrown in a completely unnecessary rape scene for the sole purpose of shock value - and shock value is something Eli Roth is a known fan of. In my opinion, using such an element in this way is honestly one of the lowest lows a film can stoop to. Doing so only ever serves to trivialize and ultimately commodify a traumatic event into a cheap and shitty way to get a guaranteed reaction. Naturally, I'm not saying that you can't use heavy thematic elements like that in a movie, or even in a horror movie, but it is a very delicate subject matter that needs to be handled with a great deal of tact.

Of course, this movie was directed by Eli Roth, an overrated hack known for making movies that are unbearably trashy and ultimately hollow and derivative. Roth is the kind of person who thinks that if he tortures characters on screen for long enough, his film will automatically become 'scary’. It's honestly no surprise that he handles the concept of rape in this movie about as well as a toddler with butter-covered hands would handle fine china.

However, in this case, I don’t even think the problem is that it’s being used for cheap shock value. I think that this movie is simply genuinely unaware that it’s about rape at all.

For example, the promotional materials for this movie seem to frame it as if it's a story about a man getting some sort of deserved comeuppance for cheating. All the synopses use words like 'seduced', which is a very funny way to spell 'sexually assaulted’. This cheating angle is particularly egregious when the 'cheating' scene in question involves two young women exposing themselves to a man without his consent, groping him and quite literally pushing him into a corner after he repeatedly said he doesn't want to do this, then insisting that it's 'just sex' and he should 'let himself enjoy it'.

I wish I was kidding.

Oh yeah, remember how I said there were two rape scenes? Yup, later on in the movie when Evan wakes up tied to his own bed, one of the girls comes in wearing his daughter's clothes, roleplays as his daughter while going on a bizarre diatribe about him molesting her, and then proceeds to have sex with him while he is being held against his will and physically restrained. That's what they broadcast to the world at the end of the movie.

And let’s not forget that the girls also claim to be 15 in an attempt to blackmail Evan. They spend the last forty minutes of the movie tormenting Evan for being a 'cheater' and a 'pedophile', before revealing at the end that they were adults the whole time.

You really have no idea how much I wish I was kidding.

But this is all important to the plot, right? This movie actually makes a point about all this fucked-up shit, right?

Point 3 - So-Called "Satire"

Spoiler alert: no. This movie is pretty much exactly as ignorant and asinine as you’re worrying it is.

I have seen this movie described as 'black comedy' and 'social satire', and honestly either idea is fucking terrifying to me. The thought that anyone, let alone enough people to make a movie thought that there was anything even remotely comical or satirical going on in this film leaves me baffled.

You might think, though, that maybe this movie secretly is smart, that maybe it actually knows what it's doing. But then you remember it was directed by Eli Roth.

Having seen the film, the idea that it means to somehow mock the idea that a man cannot be victimized by a woman requires a stretch Mr. Fantastic could not manage. If that is indeed supposed to be the point, then I would say the movie does an exceedingly bad job of actually coming to that point. Of course, a movie doesn't necessarily have to have some sort of deep, complex meaning behind it - but if it's supposed to be a satire, then yeah, it kinda is supposed to, y'know, at least have a point?

The idea of Knock Knock being some sort of 'social satire' feels like nothing more than a weak justification for why it should get away with being straight-up gross and offensive. With everything else in this movie having all the subtlety of an explosive plane crash, I have a hard time believing Mr. Roth slipped any sort of surreptitious theme in there. Also, acknowledging Roth's previous body of work makes me doubt his willingness or even ability to create anything genuinely thoughtful.

Saying this movie is a satire of misandry feels like the same thing as calling a prank a 'social experiment' or saying a slur and then trying to claim it was 'just a joke'. Trying to genuinely analyze this movie as if it were 'satire' or 'social commentary' is a grace I just genuinely don’t think this movie is even worthy of.

If the film is indeed mocking the hypocrisy of gender stereotypes and double standards, then first of all I'm baffled as to why the promotional materials frame it as if it's a story about a man who cheats on his wife. Maybe they thought nobody would actually watch the movie if they thought it was too subversive, so they had to dumb it down a bit.

But the problem is the movie is honestly probably even dumber than it looks. Like, when I said this movie has the tone of an Adam Sandler flick, I meant it. A prime medium for some intelligent social commentary, am I right? The tone of this movie, including its vomit-inducing lack of subtlety (which has come up before and will come up again), would indicate the film isn't taking itself very seriously. After some thought, I do genuinely think parts of this movie were supposed to be funny. This movie acts, throughout its entire runtime, as if it's funny. Like Eli Roth was behind the camera laughing his ass off while his antagonists overacted blunt dialogue about underage sex. Not a single frame of this movie is even remotely humorous.

I know "rape isn't funny" is a pretty toothless criticism, but I don't think it should exactly be a hot take. Maybe that’s just me.

Point 4 - Villains: How They Do and Don’t Work

I'm not gonna lie, the evil girl characters in this movie are the fucking worst.

Now, of course, the women are the villains of this story. We're supposed to root against them. And boy are they two of the most insufferable characters I've ever seen put to film; both these characters are written in such an agonizingly overt way that their actual effect as villains is completely diminished. You go right past hating the characters and straight to hating whoever wrote them. Not to mention both actresses chew the scenery like they're starving to death in every single scene they're in, but especially Lorenza Izzo. I can't even hold that against the girl, though, because I can only imagine the direction she was given was basically 'do that again, but worse'.

But the antagonist role in a story is supposed to serve an important purpose. For this exercise, let's talk about how a villain's motives contribute to a theme (or lack thereof).

These characters' mentality is basically that Eric Andre meme:

But the movie doesn't make any sort of attempt to examine the villains’ motives on anything other than a surface level. Shit, their motivations aren't even clear for the vast majority of the film. The movie never really tries to criticize or even analyze the villains' obviously fucked-up belief system. At worst, these two characters make the film feel very misogynistic as well as misandric. They’re sex-crazed, unrealistically awful simulacra of human beings who are sadistic to the point that they get a kick out of falsely accusing a man of sex crimes and seem to have no real complex thoughts or motivations. Oh yeah, they’re also literally unapologetic rapists.

Why does the movie even take the angle of them trying to frame him for pedophilia? I’m genuinely asking here, 'cause I sincerely cannot think of anything that this element actually contributes to the film other than just being excessively nasty.

Oh yeah, it's Eli Roth. That was probably the entire thought process.

Also - if we're supposed to be rooting against these characters, why are they literally always winning?

The villains basically play out like some sort of mary-sue self-insert ocs because they absolutely can't lose. Any power struggle is usually short-lived and you never genuinely believe for a second that Evan will actually get the upper hand. Kinda defeats the point of making a ‘thriller’ movie.

And, as I mentioned, the villains win in the end! Evan survives, but the gratuitously awful characters we've been rooting against this entire movie receive no consequences for their actions.

Again, I must ask why.

To subvert expectations? Subversion of expectations only works if it's clever. Just doing things because people won't expect it is much the same as putting rape in your movie just because it will shock people. If the bad guys never get punished or even questioned, then the movie might as well be on the villains' side. I'm not convinced that it isn't.

If the thesis of this movie is 'wow women can be horrible and abusive people too!', then it gets that message across basically as soon as these two cunts show up on screen; the rest of the movie is completely unnecessary. Also, despite what Eli Roth may think, he’s not the first person on the planet to come up with this incredibly intelligent and in-depth take.

Oh yeah, and also, there don’t really need to be two of them. There’s no contrast or interesting dynamic between these two because they’re basically just clones of the same character, and Ana de Armas is honestly barely there for the latter half of the movie. It’s almost as if the only reason there are two of them is that someone involved thought it was unrealistic for a single woman to be able to overpower a man on her own.

Point 4.5 - Metaphors: How They Do and Don’t Work

Some dialogue could be interpreted in a way that would make the villains a sort of metaphor for the way society treats male victims of sexual assault. Of course, I doubt this metaphor was actually intentional - partially because the movie seems to moreso imply that it's about Evan being unfairly judged for his sexual appetites, and partially because it’s so fleeting and inconsistent it basically has no effect. It’s only really plausible for two scenes.

In one scene, a friend of Evan's named Louis comes over while Evan is being held hostage in the house, and he ends up dying when he trips trying to get his inhaler back from the two rapists. Evan begs them to help him but the girls crassly say it was 'his fault' because he tripped. This could be seen as an allegory for victims being blamed for their own assault, but the scene is so disjointed it honestly feels like most of it was edited in after the fact or some shit. It's also immediately preceded by Louis bizarrely declaring, 'I'm from Oakland, ho! I know two ghetto-ass hoes when I see em', in a joke that is both unfunny and vaguely racist. Oh yeah, it also completely ruins the tone of what is maybe supposed to be a meaningful scene.

That possible attempt at a metaphor continues in the next scene with the girls accusing Evan of ruining his family by sleeping with them. But then it gets thrown out the window at the speed of a Randy Johnson fastball when Evan breaks into a nonsensical rant where he yells things like 'you came onto me' and 'you wanted it' at them. He then compares the girls to 'free pizza' showing up at his door and says, 'what was I supposed to do?'

I can't say enough times that I wish I was kidding.

This is it - the part where Evan finally revolts against the unfair moral inquisition he’s been under, and all it amounts to is him screeching nonsense and slobbering. All of this happens in a scene where Keanu gives 0 shits about acting and he screams 'fuck' so many times I think it's supposed to be funny. And also remember, Evan still thinks these girls are 15 at this point in the movie.

This scene squanders any credit I was willing to give this film. It comes so close, so close to giving this insufferable slough of detritus any sort of meaning, and yet it's still so unimaginably far. A helpless and desperate rape victim yells at his abusers in what should be a deeply painful and emotional moment but instead reads like he's trying to victim-blame himself. Way to go implying your protagonist was somehow culpable in his own rape because he secretly wanted it. It's like free pizza showing up at your door, right? What are you supposed to do?

The dialogue directly shies away from acknowledging the undeniable fact that Evan was raped. They had to have the implication that Evan 'secretly wanted it' come out of his own mouth. But you know what word doesn't come out of Evan's mouth? Yup, the r-word. Evan says 'you fucked me' but the only time this movie uses the word 'rape' is when one of the girls mentions statutory rape while they're trying to convince Evan they're underage.

Oh yeah, and near the very end of the movie, the girls tell Evan 'I thought you would be the one to finally say no' and that 'no matter who they are, they never say no'.

I have never seen a movie so blatantly ignorant of its own premise.

Point 5 - Pizza Cutter

How is a pizza cutter like an Eli Roth movie? They're both all edge and no point.

Okay, I know that joke isn't original. But Mr. Roth sure as hell took his fucking all-edge-and-no-point pizza cutter and flayed this movie into Pizza Hut cheese sticks. (I hope they show up with my free pizza!)

I have never seen a movie more grotesquely devoid of art or meaning than this wretched film. It’s so agonizingly shallow that the deep end of its pool is still no deeper than a puddle in the floor, and the shallow end is the fucking Sahara desert. Eli Roth wouldn’t know art if it broke into his house and groped him uncomfortably for half an hour.

Roth depicts a male protagonist being raped (multiple times), blackmailed, manipulated, victim-blamed, and tortured. But why? He has nothing to say about the subjects. The film is not challenging to anyone's preconceived notions or beliefs. It doesn't present any sort of point or thesis. It just shows these things, but makes no attempt to make the audience actually think about them. The movie never even seems to acknowledge that Evan was raped, which is really fucked up.

It should have been obvious, of course. But, like I said, anyone who came into this movie thinking that men can't be raped is not coming out of this movie thinking any more deeply about that viewpoint, I assure you.

With all the stigma there is towards male victims of sexual assault and abuse, you have to be exceptionally careful when handling the subject, or else you fall into the trap of just feeding into those exact negative perceptions. This movie doesn’t even really try, though. It just does a bunch of misandric shit and then pretends like it's deep because 'people don't usually do that in movies'.

If you put misandry in your movie, but fail to actually say anything about it (or even really address it at all), then all you're doing is just…being misandric.

Point 6 - In Conclusion, And Without A Moment to Spare…

Is Knock Knock secretly a misunderstood subversive masterpiece?

You can probably tell by the title of this review how I would answer that question. No, it's really not.

But part of the reason I hate this movie is because I feel like, in the right hands, it actually could have been a subversive masterpiece. If it just took its own fucking subject matter seriously instead of trying to be some sort of goofy horror comedy, I think it could've been a really interesting and provocative piece. But I genuinely don't think Eli Roth had any sort of intelligent artistic vision for this film. I don't think he cares about men’s rights either; I doubt that a man known for his misogynistic comments and throwing unnecessary homophobia into his movies suddenly decided to give a shit about social issues for this one film. I think he just likes making shitty torture porn movies and lets other people defend his work by using social commentary as an excuse for why it's 'satirical' and 'subversive'.

The worst thing, the absolute worst thing about it, is that this movie is so dull and empty that it probably isn’t even deserving of the ire it has evoked in me. Its ratings are pretty abysmal for a production of its size and it seems that most people have more or less entirely forgotten it exists. In a way, it’s poetic. The worst punishment a movie can receive is to simply be shoved so far back into the collective consciousness that it may as well not even be real.

Also…why did he have to do this to my man Keanu Reeves?

Don't get me wrong, this movie would have been equally as abominable if it had starred literally any other actor, but at least then I would be far less likely to have ever had the displeasure of knowing it exists.

Keanu Reeves does show big daddy milkers tho, 10/10 would watch again 👍

( Footnote: I hate that this frame came from this movie. I hate how goddamn hot Keanu Reeves looks in this film. I swear if I were to summit the cloudy steeps of Mt. Olympus and come face-to-face with Eros himself, he would look like Keanu Reeves in glasses and a cardigan. )

#movie review #munchflix editorials #knock knock #knock knock review #eli roth #<-- can suck a fat choad #tw sa #tw r@pe

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zydrateacademy · 3 months

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Current Activities in Gaming #228

So there is in fact an extra enemies mod for Starfield, and the game's much harder. I haven't even bothered playing on "very hard" yet, just "hard". With leveled enemies and such, the game has some actual level of challenge now. I just got really tired of seeing level 5's and 10's. I don't feel like a pro stealth sniper at all when I can basically sneeze on most enemies without a problem. Stealth sniping is still kind of viable but mostly in the outdoor sections of encounters. Enemies will impotently fire in my general direction but if I'm far enough away they have trouble actually finding me. Interiors are much more difficult, but I imagine once I drop having a follower and utilizing void form more I can lose them as well.

Ultimately, I've barely died in this game at all until installing that mod and I'm okay with this. I have to actually rethink certain encounters and hallways and that's exciting.

Now my FO4 game I made super hard but I also had a modern firearms mod which has pretty crazy damage scaling. Enemies can kill me quickly but I can kill them just as fast. It's different in Starfield while I'm still dealing with vanilla weaponry, enemies are semi-spongey (I can usually 2-3 tap basic enemies but boss/veteran enemies with multiple health bars take a while to deal with) so enemies can kill me quickly but I can't in turn do the same to them. So now I'm outnumbered and outdamage'd, but again it just forces me to rethink encounters and I'm spamming my starborn abilities a lot more than I did before. Finally putting those essences to use when before I'd be collecting dozens. They're a real resource now.

So, so many of my problems with the game were fixed just by adding more enemies. As I knew it would, and usually does in Bethesda games. Stealth is a lot more fickle as usual but as long as my ranged capabilities stay to par, it's fine.

I also had to get a mod that allowed me to continually craft and upgrade the quality of my guns to keep them competitive. But the values are still fairly vanilla, it's not OP 2-shots-you're-dead like Modern Firearms, but it helps with the scaling issue of enemies staying at my level but my Beowulf being stuck at 200 damage for every NG+. As usual, mods fix everything.

I said in the comments of one of my previous posts that I'd report back to how I feel about Ryujin. I did it again and void form basically makes the more annoying bits of that final quest fairly trivial. I had much less problems and glitches with it the second time around. Seems odd to design a whole faction questline around the powers, which you can technically do before you discover them. I'll have to do a self-imposed challenge some day without void form but the problem is... I've already walked that road. It sucked ass. That said I only used it on the one or two problem spots from before, I still just classically sneaked through most of it, but it's still a bit beyond me how they expect me to do that last stretch to grab that prototype (schematics) without void form because there's shit all over that room and some of the guards don't patrol. I know we're supposed to use manipulation but that only works half the time because the interfacing with it is super fucky.

Interestingly I've discovered something else. I bought it a while back before I had computer upgrades because I just wanted it available, but was worried. Most screenshots make the game look like dogshit, but none of them really did it justice. There's weather conditions that can mute the colors but most towns and areas have their own palette, so it's not a homogeneous blur of grey and white as you play. I found places like Neon and Gregarin(sp?) to be fairly vibrant in its own right, while New Atlantis can seem a bit muted in comparison. Overall it's not too terrible looking game as you play it, but looking at static screenshots could give that impression.

Currently my main save file is on her +3. First was the normal, second playthrough I was making some different choices while recording it for youtube. Third was the speedrun MQ skip to see what it was like and how much exactly it skips. Turns out Sarah will literally just hand you like half of the artifacts (like seven of them or so, in truth) after a certain point because you just tell Constellation where they are. I had her as a follower even and she just had them on hand which was pretty funny. You have to gather the first five yourself but as one quest, not as a chain. Anyway the whole MQ can be done in about an hour, not counting the temple runaround for power upgrades and I also didn't do much prepwork. Basically ran around with a decent semi-auto Kodama I picked up from Constellation's basement and burned through it.

My current "fourth" playthrough is my "whatever I feel like doing". I have spent many many hours just doing surveying and was almost getting ASMR tingles from it. I say in my youtube recording that planet surveying is very much a "mood" thing and not something you should really go out and do on purpose, just something to vibe with. That said it can be fairly decent early-game experience or something to go do to eke out an extra level or two if you feel like you absolutely need something before you can progress. I understand how and why people might find it boring, but nothing about it is required.

I might honestly do a lot of surveying on a total new game, which I might have to do once mod tools come out and everything gets updated to a proper structure. I fear I might also have to reinstall and just burn-delete everything I have right now. But it's fine because I know the flow of the game better, now.

One point of order though, I've done both Ryujin and UC multiple times and it seems the factions aren't terribly rewarding on their own. Ryujin only gives this decent stealth outfit that gives 25% to your stealth which is decent, but you lose everything in Unity so everything factions reward is temporary. UC pays fairly well but their best reward comes from their very first quest. Complete it and you get access to one of the best ballistic ship weapons in the game. I don't know what else they give other than decent chunks of credits every now and then.

At some point soonish I'll actually try out the Crimson Fleet and Freestar Rangers. Gonna go google their rewards.

#bethesda #starfield #gaming #pc gaming

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iamshay · 5 months

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You know who you are; I will air it out. Take your fake apology out of here. You suck up just getting more special treatment, and thats why you are so defensive about it. am just going call it for what it is. So take that block and unfollow your fake. Anyone I remove, that means I have seen your true color.

I said what I had to say in my post. also about the favortism, and the power trip mods can suck it! Oh, wait, you already on that 🍆🙄

I quote this again. "Even though these individuals have always been featured, they still don't stand on their own. If, for any reason whatsoever, Rumble stops supporting them—like in the case of a disagreement or a change in Rumble's management. These people won't have the audience support necessary for any significant organic growth at Rumble." This quote someone told me, and I fucking agree." and they just a few more followers; without that, they're nobody, just like the rest of us in gaming. They all sucking up it because deep down they know!

When I had 100 people watching twice without getting featured, it was not so bad for someone to never get special treatment, all because of my own network around social media, by networking even if they were not talking, just because they felt threatened by what I was doing without anyone's help.

They were in my chat, accusing me of viewbotting and making themselves known in my chat as self-promoters, almost. I am not a person who got a husband as a coder that can be cable, know how to code fake views, or know how to manipulate viewers just like the rest of them. I don't do that sh*t. I already sent a screenshot that the YouTube community hates. Watch the stalkers. Even so, thanks for the views, losers. And me streaming sports for Rumble before my partner was out. It seems they felt jealous that I was a beam viewer while they were live. Without them getting featured, nobody has their own. and that fucking bothers them. People are more attuned to people with personalities, and not everyone always sucks up and talks rumble.

There is nothing wrong with that, but when the topic is always sucking up to rumble and people get turned off by that, I saw that on Kickass as well, where people always screw up and talk about cons too, just pros. People don't like fake personas. They like what the cons are. Every platform has its cons. Transparency is very important. They never come by my stream anyway. So fuck off. You are the fake one.

I make quality content talk about streaming around gaming. While they suck, the loser has to suck up to get treatment, then have organic growth and transparency. They will hunt anyone who is honest. Me being honest that more better then lie to rumble. Then they know what is bad and what is good. How suppose they do better and try not to know for that? You fake laugh and giggle; be fake as fuck. Platform needs honesty to do better than suck up and lie to them. They need full transparency so they know.

That makes me actually want Rumble to take over and do way better than other platforms. You are always hyped, even deep down. You know it's simply wrong, just because it will benefit you if you get a few more followers to actually show you all fucking about yourself. All you care about are followers and viewers. not the health of the platform and its integrity. since you put this fake ass persona lies hype shit that wrong. Get off your high horse and stop lying.

You do not give a sh*t about rumbling at all. All you care about is yourself because you are on the feature list, and whatever critics come to you, that cost of showing favottism to you because you never told them that is wrong. Maybe we should do that. You don't care about ethics or fairness. Or care about a small streamer like yourself? You just want all the shit for yourself. Good luck with that behavior; you wont go anywhere.

#rumblecommunity #fake #people

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aseriesofunfortunatejan · 7 months

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What I always love about tumblr (slash sarcasm) is how if someone misinterprets a post unkindly and posts a slightly unkind reply, it is largely accepted to be really fucking mean to them. Either by replying and insulting them en masse, or by screenshotting their reply, making fun of them, and my favourite part, interpreting their reaction in the most unkindly way.

OP or whoever dunked on that rando who left a three words comment on a post feels very smart and well adapted for noting they were Wrong, and yet engages in the exact same behaviour towards them. People in the reblog chain think they're heroes but all it does is ruin a post by making you realise ALL these people suck.

Literally. The commenter may have seen something in the tone or writing of your post that caused them to have the most unkind interpretation of it. Meanwhile because their comment is negative to you, you also have the most unkind interpretation of it. You're not above them at all.

Recently I saw a post recommending that you do something to aid your mental health with a reblog pointing out that someone had replied calling it "baby's first ableism". This was indeed an unkind accusation towards a post that didn't have a noticeable ableist quality. Still, showing them to a large audience to make sure everyone hears your funny roast is just as unkind. And this chain was actually interesting to me: someone else added a very good comment pointing out why accusing the post of ableism was limited, as the fact that disabled people may not be able to do what is recommended in it is something the disabled community wants and needs to put forward as a factor that worsens their mental health. Rather, the notion in that post could be used as a starting point for a conversation about ableism. It was in fact this sensible take that made me scroll back up, look at the post again, and realise how its wording may have sounded, to that first commenter, excluding and even slightly ableist in how it talked about its advice as simple and easy.

And yet the more sensible commenter also said they didn't understand their comment. And yet, despite their unkind reaction having possibly caused by feeling hurt, it was socially accepted for the original poster(s) to make fun of them and imply they were somehow idiotic.

There's often a line between "defending yourself" and "being mean back" and for the sake of a bully's notion of what's funny, crossing it seems to be largely accepted on here. In fact, it is often best if you are even meaner.

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pangtasias-atelier · 2 years

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F/E/5 Thoughts

In short, FE5 is the oldest game that's the most playable. And it's extremely fun despite its age and bs mechanics. To the point where I'd recommend it to newer players with a minimal spoiler guide.

Having played it first back when the best translation patch was literally unfinished and with gibberish menus, the new patch is so wonderful and it comes with great quality of life changes. Like, you can actually fucking change the position of your units and look at the godamn map! Plus you can see growth rates and how they're affected by scrolls. And speaking of scrolls, the ability to fiddle with a unit's growth rates is so fun.

In terms of actual gameplay, the capture mechanic is such a fun mechanic of seeing broken stuff the enemy does, and getting to steal so that way you can use them against the enemy. The fact that you can steal several silence, sleep, and berserk staves makes it so that you can just use them as you please for the most part. And that's even mentioning all the rescue, warp, and rewarp staves you can get to further open up your options. And this all helps to create a meta where staves are the best weapons in the game and I love it since it helps fe5 play differently compared to other games where you just equip a javelin/hand axe and place a unit in front of a bunch of enemies.

All the staff units are a blast to use and I'm glad cause I always use a lot of magic units in basically every game. Though the magic system is pretty bad in Thracia since anima is split into a triangle and each branch of magic basically only has 2 or 3 tomes to use which sucks. And all it is is a basic tome per element at the lowest rank and then a siege tome at the highest rank, which is pretty lame since it is a downgrade from Genealogy which is the opposite of all other weapon types.

Dismounting is so annoying to deal with but it's actually a bit fun trying to play around that and it is a nice way to try and reel in cavs+flyers from being absolutely broken like every other Fe game. Especially since they're forced to dismount indoor maps and get reduced stats and forced to use swords which they can't use mounted, for most cases.

Despite all this, Thracia is still just such an unforgiving game and most of it is just due to the bullshit the game throws at you. Which makes it so unfair for new players, but on a second playthrough, Thracia was such a fun experience and I'd definitely recommend it to others. Especially since like Thracia enemies aren't too threatening, it's more so the stuff the game tries to pull on you.

In terms of story, it's definitely not as much of a revisioning of fe4 that people make it out to be and it's fun to see events from fe4 play out in fe5. The final boss is definitely a let down and kind of just a random thing they threw in to remind us "loptyr church bad!" But the final map is incredibly fun since your team is split into six groups lol. The story does a much better job of making you feel like gen 2 of Jugdral is an awful time. Especially as a byproduct of Lief not being able to use a holy weapon and that he's effectively just a normal dude in comparison to others but despite that, still fights on and inspires others. Which is a common theme with a lot of Thracia's recruitable cast since basically no one has holy blood, and the one unit that does absolutely breaks the game when you get him lmao. Though I’m a contrarian because I never recruit him in favor of a much worse character. And during the route split where you can recruit like 3 great units, I go the other route to get 3 mediocre ones cause I like them much more.

Thracia feels like it probably would be a nightmare to figure out without a guide, but you are given the option to succeed and later on you can throw the bullshit right back at the game and succeed very well for it. So it’s a fun experience that no other fe game quite replicates in where having a bunch of staff units is a great thing.

Also screenshots of scroll abused characters I enjoy lol. Like, I genuinely love Mir/an/da and I'm glad she was added to feh. And I unironically enjoy Hicks and it was so fucking mean that he got last in cyl2

#random

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imdoingaokay · 2 years

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Fallout 4 companions as Youtubers

A/N: Personally, I think the only ones that would actually make a channel and post to it would be Deacon and Hancock, so I guess this is sort of OOC, but hey, why not?

Cait

Self defense youtuber, not like the ones everyone makes fun of, she actually gives solid advice.

Ends up running a dojo or something, makes a lot of videos inside it.

Her merch is all self-defense related, ranging from knuckles to some cute accessories that she made (with Sole, of course). Her items are expensive, but they are totally worth every penny.

She ends up opening up about her drug use later on, once she grows a following, but telling people about it isn’t a separate video. Like she says “yeah I used to do drugs a lot” and then proceeds to drop kick a training dummy or her sparring partner.

Weirdly enough, it ends up being memed quite often. People take screenshots from her videos and they end up exploding. She never really discusses it nor capitalizes on it, but she does once mention how stupid she thinks they are when someone asks.

Curie

ASMR youtuber. No, I will not be taking questions.

Totally, 100% has the voice for it.

She starts off with low quality videos of her messing around, but she likes the tingles ASMR gives her so she keeps doing it.

Ends up growing her channel and gets new equipment, her production value skyrockets.

Green screen? We don’t know her. Curie makes sets, and they’re always beautiful. (Think Latte ASMR)

People lowkey get caught off guard when she does her “Medical Examination” ASMR video and she’s like… really educated? Then she kinda just drops the fact that she’s basically a doctor???

No merch or a patreon. She never shows her face too, nor does she do collabs. She just drops a bomb video and dips.

Danse

Initially starts out with some really cool metalworking/restoration videos. Like, he cleans old objects of rust and then restores it to its “former glory”

Has a very small following while he keeps uploading, and his uploads are few and far between. His editing sucks too, but he learns as he goes along.

Eventually drops a video or community post describing the fact that his entire life has changed and he’s thrown in for a loop. Shows his face in the video for the first time and it BLOWS UP.

He ends up moving out to a more rural area and definitely becomes a cowboy. Makes videos in his free time when he’s restoring old items or taking care of the animals on the farm (because of course he does)

Deacon

COMMENTARY CHANNEL

He makes REALLY funny videos.

Like, the rewatch value of each of them is phenomenal.

He edits really well, and has a very loyal following that he names the “Dust Bunnies” for no reason, just cuz he wants to.

Most popular videos are the ones that, out of context, make NO SENSE.

Goes on rants often. Like, hardcore rants over something stupid, but he still makes the video funny.

Has a series of him playing bad mobile games and rating them

Gage

You know that guy that shows up on a lot of videos, makes a comment that’s pretty funny, and then dips?

That’s Gage.

Don’t get me wrong, he has 0 videos.

He just comments.

And everyone comes to expect him on videos.

Nobody knows who he is behind the screen. And Gage doesn’t want anyone to know.

Channel name is probably “Steve” or something.

Hancock

Also a commentary YouTube channel.

Does a hotbox once or twice with Fahrenheit, it’s really funny.

Absolute ally. Drinks his respect women/LGBTQ+ juice EVERY DAY.

Has said more than once “Of the Trans, for the Trans” when he streams

Did I mention he streams?

He streams. All the time.

His Twitch Channel is really funny, actually.

Ends up doing a collaboration with Deacon, and everyone freaks out. Think Danny Gonzalez and Drew Gooden.

They end up making a podcast together, it’s called “Two Dumbasses Talk” and it’s really popular.

They do make a video where they read fanfiction of each other.

MacCready

GAMING CHANNEL

Absolute KING of almost every video game, but he excels at shooters.

Refuses to play Fortnite because he doesn’t want to engage with a younger audience. Even though his videos are fairly clean

Streams rather than records and edits videos, which leads to some really funny encounters.

Once Duncan walked in while he was streaming because he was thirsty.

10/10 dad stopped playing and got his son a drink.

After gaining a shit ton of money and ends up living in his dream house with his family, he does a lot of charity streams. Most of them are geared towards helping children. He has a soft spot for childhood cancer since his son nearly died.

Nick Valentine

You guys see those “Lawyer Reacts” videos? That’s Nick. Except he’s a “Detective Reacts” instead.

Wholesome Old Man.

His videos are few and far between, and normally he reacts to whatever someone sends him. Tells people about shit he’s seen in life, and rates the accuracy of shows and movies.

His most popular series is him going through crime shows like Law and Order, NCIS, etc.

Wholesome Old Man becomes Annoyed Old Man.

“Why the hell aren’t they wearing gloves?” Becomes his catchphrase, that and “What the-” In the most frustrated/incredulous voice.

Old Longfellow

Fishing channel.

Old man chilling on a boat, catching fish.

ALL OF HIS VIDEOS ARE EDITED THROUGH IMOVIE.

Wholesome Old Man 2.0 (sort of)

Has some videos of him just sitting down and drinking, chatting about random shit.

Gets popular for how much of a grandpa he is.

Like, seriously. People ask him to make a video where he says “I’m proud of you”

AND HE DOES IT. Albeit, he’s confused, but why not? A couple shots of whiskey, and he’s good to go.

Piper

Becomes her own news channel. Kind of like All Gas, No Brakes… not as funny though.

Every crazy thing that has happened around the country, she was there. Interviewing people. Cult meeting? She’s there. Major death of a celebrity? She’s there. Raiding of Area 51? She’s there.

She ends up becoming more political as current events get a bit more serious.

Ends up getting a pretty good following who support her on patreon.

Probably starts a podcast.

Preston

His videos are weird. Like, they aren’t for an audience, they’re for him.

A lot of them are short, vertically filmed videos of him outside in nature and experiencing life.

His most popular video is one where he lowkey becomes a Disney princess and pets a baby deer.

X6-88

He doesn’t have one.

Sorry.

364 notes · View notes

kob131 · 2 years

Text

My Thoughts on Certain RWBYtubers

Just gonna post this here to make this stuff known. I could also be completely wrong here. Go ahead and correct me if I’m wrong.

Fatmanfalling: I hate his videos. They are far too long with him just repeating the same fucking points over and over again. I would almost think they are long on purpose to make them hard to debunk as going through an hour and a half and debunking it point by point or analyzing it enough to properly condense it down is really hard.

But to be honest, I have a history with the guy. If you’ve seen that screenshot of his of a guy arguing about quality- that was me. I was not very mature when I began arguing in this fandom. I don’t really regret fighting him (he’s still a dumbass) but that doesn’t make what I did right.

Celtic Phoenix Productions: Maybe Fixing RWBY could be something if he would do something brave for once, remove all elements of RWBY and just go full on original. The lore and history videos could make something. But so long as it’s attached to RWBY as ‘RWBY but better’ it will never be anything but an inferior RWBY. Because to be something but better you have to conform to its niche because that defines what a piece of media is.

That’s why something like Berserk and TTGL can be so vastly different but still be great- they try to achieve different things. But with Fixing RWBY, it’s like Netflix’s Death Note and the original- doesn’t matter what qualities the first may have, it’s reliant on fulfilling the second and fails because it can’t. And I don’t think Celtic has enough humility to acknowledge that.

Calxyin: Her voice and demeanor give me a headache. Not likee one of frustration or hate but one of ‘your voice is too high and you’re too peppy’. I don’t talk about her much because it’s literally painful for me.

MuffinManDan: No idea if he’s still around but whether he’s positive or negative- I do not like him in the slightest. Unlike the others I mentioned or will mention where I can at least believe that they geniunely mean what they say, MuffinManDan’s actions proved to me he didn’t believe a word he said. He would misrepresent what the show said, what I said and what he said just to look good. And the moment it became more profitable for him to praise RWBY, he did just that.

MMD doesn’t even have what little credit I can give others.

Vexed Viewer: Vexed is what happens when you treat blatantly false crap as the second coming of Christ. His video tend to only work if you already agree with him or have no understanding of how media works. Seriously, his ‘Stupid For The Sake Of The Plot” videos break in half when you remember human error.

There was also that time where Vexed tried saying that Pietro putting part of his Aura in Penny and then calling her daughter was creepy...despite that being a common trope in man creating self aware creation stories. He also brought up race in that. Which...I have no idea how to interpret that as anything but racist. ... Moving on.

Unicorn of War: Political asshat who started sucking off the show when he felt pandered to (Bumbleby) and then stopped for whatever reason. His videos are also pretty simplistic and ill thought out whether good or bad. Also, he made Ciel Pietro’s daughter in his Volume 8 rewrite because, and I quote, ‘There’s the issue of a black man making a white girl as the default.’

... Remember when Monty said there was no Asia? I miss those days...

Hero Hei: Take everything I said about MMD, invert the flip about RWBY and add in clickbait and political bullshit. That’s HH.

Judgemental Critter and Twiins Iink: Grouping these two together-

Twiins Iink made a video about Adam stans not moving on, which is a stance I agree with...then made me play defense for them by how bad the video was. And Critter once said that scene of James in V7 E2 where he strides up to Oscar, thinking he’s Ozpin and clearly desperate for his leader...was ‘Dad energy’.

... And this is their average.

Overall- You should really just look for RWBY channels under 1k subscribers. They’re not likely to be super dumb or selling you what you want to hear.

26 notes · View notes

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