!! QUICK PSA FOR TESTOSTERONE TAKERS !!

warning this is a bit gross so i'll put the photos under the cut but i think it's important because nobody told me about this before i started T

if you're taking testogel/any other T that you put on your skin, please for the love of god moisturise the skin you put it on

gel REALLY dries out your skin and as someone with dry skin anyway it caused my skin to flake and scab and break out more which has left a lot of scarring on my back/chest/shoulders

(yes, T causes acne anyway, but for me personally my skin didn't get that much worse after i started and it's improved since i've been moisturising more so that was the problem for me)

obviously there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having acne or acne scarring or anything like that (it just makes me a bit insecure and means i have to put off getting tattoos there until it gets better), i just wish i'd started taking care of it earlier

also i would Never want to scare anyone off HRT if they want it because it's been a wonderful magical thing for me but there are some uncomfortable aspects of it and this is just one that i didn't know about

A friendly guide on how not to make your local theater workers hate you this weekend

by a former theater worker with 3 and a half years of theater experience at a local theater with no competitors within 30 miles and therefor has seen the end of times

According to some reports many theaters will be working insane extra hours this weekend to accommodate what it’s likely to be one of the biggest movie releases in recent history. As you have probably guessed, this means that your local theater workers are going to be stressed beyond reason, likely working extra hours with no overtime pay, and probably without a break. And believe me when I say that it is an unending nightmare the likes of which most people have never seen. So here are a few quick things you can do to make their lives easier, and ensure they don’t spend countless hours telling all of their co-workers about That Asshole(You) they had to deal with. You don’t want to be that asshole. 

Box Office

If at all possible, purchase your tickets online. This keeps the lines at box office down and helps you get to your theater and out of everyone’s way faster.  

Do not wait in line with you and your entire extended family. This clogs up the line and makes it difficult to gauge how many people actually need to be helped. Send one or two people up there to purchase the tickets, and have everyone else wait off to the side. This doesn’t seem like a big deal but the box office attendants can get in trouble if lines are too long and you standing there with Everyone You Have Ever Met makes it look like the line is longer than it is. 

Have your student IDs, rewards cards, military IDs, and your payment method ready when you get in line. Once again you standing there rifling through your bag trying to find your credit card and rewards number holds up the line and is annoying.

Do not pay in change, and if you do don’t get mad when the employee takes a bit to count it out. They get in trouble if their register is off, and they need to make sure the amount is correct. Save your time and theirs and pay in cash or with your card. 

If you or your loved ones want to get a senior discount, YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR IT. Theater workers are trained to NOT assume that someone is a senior, so unless you specify that you want the discount they will not apply it and you getting mad that it wasn’t added and then standing there fuming while they get a manager to give you your refund is pointless and wastes your time and theirs. Just ask for the discount. 

Don’t get offended if they ask to search your bag if you have a big backpack or whatever. They are not looking for food, and they do not care if you have food. They are looking for weapons, booze, and drugs. Do us all a favor and leave your gun and beer and cigar at home. If you are uncomfortable with them searching your bag you can usually just leave it at the box office, or better yet, don’t bring the bag. 

If you want to use a pass make sure you are at the right theater?? If you have an AMC pass or gift card you aren’t gonna be able to use it at a Harkins or a Cinemark. 

Most theater box offices cannot take Fandango gift cards. If you have one do everyone a favor and use it to buy your tickets online or on their app. 

Ticket Taker/Door Podium:

Once again, have your tickets ready. When you step away from the box office don’t put them in your bag or pocket, keep them out and be ready to hand them off. You will not be admitted without a ticket. 

If you just walk past them rudely or refuse to hand over your ticket they will hunt you down and kick you out. Actually wait there and hand over your ticket.

Also don’t refuse to take the stub. You need it to prove your payed for your admittance and to know where your theater is(especially when 90% of the theaters are showing the same movie) and if you are at a theater with reserved seating you need it to know where you are gonna sit. Take your stub when it is handed back to you.

Keep all of your tickets together. Don’t hand them out to all of your kids and family and make the ticket guy have to take them one by one and rip them. Just hand the stack to them and they will count them and rip them all at once. It’s faster and you won’t have to stand there for eons while every single toddler gently hands up the tickets, and most likely drops them or makes the ticket taker have to use up an extra second picking it up. Seriously, hand them off in a stack. 

If you need to know where your line is, ask nicely. If you need to know where your theater is, ask nicely. If you want to know when your movie gets out, know which theater it is in, when it started, AND ASK NICELY. Often times there are 8 different showings of the same movie and if you don’t know what theater it is in or when it was supposed to start the door person cannot help you because the only way to differentiate between showing is knowing the theater and the time. The question “When does avengers get out” is too vague and therefore impossible to answer. 

THE DOOR PERSON IS NOT A TRASH CAN AND DOES NOT HAVE A TRASH CAN. DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR TRASH AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT SHOVE YOUR TRASH IN THE HOLES, THOSE HOLES ARE FOR TICKET STUBS AND THEY WILL HAVE TO FISH YOUR TRASH OUT LATER. SERIOUSLY, DON’T DO THIS.

Concessions: 

Now here it is acceptable to wait with your family, since you will need to know what they want and need help carrying it all. But still try to keep the people to a minimum if you can, it helps keep the lines down. 

Wait in a line! Most theaters that still have concession stands aren’t gonna have specific lines so try to stay in a straight line if you can. 

If a register is free and the worker calls you over, just come over. They can get in trouble for not calling people over and not helping guests so if they call you over feel free to head over. 

The workers cannot read each other's minds. If there is more than one person helping you, and one of them asks something you have already told the other person, still tell them. They need to put in everything correctly, so you yelling “I told the other person” helps no one and is seriously rude. 

Don’t leave your trash all over the counter. They aren’t allowed to throw away your garbage on their side of the stand because it is dirty and they need to keep everything clean and food-safe. Save your trash for the cans in the hallways, and don’t leave your straw wrappers at the counter, they aren’t there to clean up after you and can get in trouble for having trash on the counter. A lot of times they cannot see the other side of the counter all that well so if you shove your trash out of site they won’t be able to clean it up and will get in trouble for it being there. 

Don’t yell at them if things are taking a long time. Popcorn runs out fast on days like these and they are trying their best. Assume that your food isn’t gonna be ready at the drop of a hat and wait patiently. If they got something wrong don’t yell at them either, they are probably tired and stressed and most of the time they can fix the problem right away, so just wait and things will be ok. 

If the concession stand it self serve, be nice and don’t make a huge mess. I know it can be confusing and chaotic but try to resist your animal instincts and be orderly and clean. 

Try to know what you want before you get in line, or at least figure it out while you are in line. Trust me there is nothing more annoying on a busy day to see a person who has been in line for like 15 minutes finally get to the counter only to go “hmmmm idk what I want”. It wastes EVERYONE’S time and makes you look like an ass. Know what you want before you get to the counter. 

Listen to the employee when they explain how refills and all that jazz work. There is nothing more annoying then having someone say they got it and then come back and yell at you for “lying” to them when in reality they just weren’t listening. It gets the employee in trouble and makes you look like an ass. 

If the theater has a refill bag/cup/bucket system keep the bags clean and make sure you wash the cups and buckets. I cannot count the number of nasty filthy bags and cups I have gotten and We Cannot Clean Them For You. Just wash them at home and keep them nice so you can enjoy fresh popcorn and good soda that isn’t gonna taste nasty and get you sick. 

Sometimes you won’t like your food or will need a refund. Don’t be a huge dick during this process. It can take a bit and isn’t as straightforward as “here’s your money sorry”, so if you are taking something back expect it to take a few minutes.  

There is almost always a nutrition book that can tell you what is in things, so if you have allergies and other restrictions ask to see it. 

If you want butter in the middle of your popcorn ask for layers!! Almost all theaters can do this and it saves you from doing those weird, messy “hacks”. Also if you do ask just be clear about how much you want, and don’t be that person who is insanely particular about how it’s done. Trust me, we know how to heavily coat a bag of popcorn with butter, you won’t be disappointed. 

In fact if you do that thing where you yell over the counter trying to dictate the workers every move or insist on watching them you are being an ass. Seriously, just let us do our job. You are gonna get popcorn with butter. It’s gonna be ok.

The Condiment Stand:

Basically all of the same rules as the concession stand. 

Don’t make a mess. There are trash cans there for a reason. It’s annoying and difficult to keep this area clean so do your part and throw away your trash and don’t leave butter/wrappers/flavor powder and other crap all over it. 

If something is out be nice when you flag down an employee to ask them to refill it. Once again, this area is the hardest to service outside of the bathroom because it’s usually swarmed with people so be patient, clean, and nice. 

Don’t do any of those weird butter hacks. As I said, they can layer the butter up at concessions, so just ask for it there and save them a huge mess to clean up. 

Go easy on the butter. Seriously, GO EASY ON THE BUTTER. I have seen people put so much butter on their popcorn that it drips out of the bag and all over the floor and ends up taking industrial grease remover to clean up the puddles. It’s a safety hazard and messy and annoying. Just put enough on and call it a day.

Don’t take 7000000 napkins. Most people who do this end up using two or three and then leaving a huge mess of them around the theater that are a bitch to clean up. Take only what you need and save some paper, and don’t leave a huge mess. 

The Auditoriums:

If your theater doesn’t have reserved seating, SHOW UP EARLY. The longest lines I have ever seen at a theater were the ones with 60000 people mad that there were no seats left in the theater when they showed up 5 mins before showtime. If the movie is gonna be sold out make sure you get there early so you can get seats, and if there are no seats be polite when asking to switch to a different showtime.

In fact, if there’s no reserved seating, get over your social anxiety and make sure there are no buffer seats between you and the people around you. It is going to happen eventually and it saves the theater workers from having to come up and make you move. 

If there is reserved seating, SIT IN YOUR SEAT. I have seen tons of people pick a reserved seat and then just sit wherever. If you do this you will be made to move, and so pick the seats you want and then actually sit in them. 

Also, figure out where your line is and stand in it. Don’t stand outside of the line and cut when it get’s let in, because I have seen legit fist-fights break out due to cutting. 

Don’t loudly complain that you have been in line forever, it takes a long ass time to clean up a sold out theater and you need to accept that. Unless you want to wade through a waist deep pile of trash just shut up and let the ushers do their job. It might take a bit, but you won’t miss your movie and it will ensure you get to sit in a clean theater. 

THE WHEELCHAIR AREAS ARE NOT FOR YOUR STROLLER. Leave the stroller at home. Seriously. They get in the way, block off the aisles, make it hard to disabled people to find seats, and end up being a huge fire hazard. If you insist on bringing your infant, which heads up you shouldn’t its horrible for their hearing, leave the stroller at home or in the car. The box office might even offer to hold it for you, just please don’t take them into the theater. 

Most theaters have seats that are for the companions of people in wheelchairs, so unless you are with someone in a wheelchair, don’t sit there. 

If there is a disturbance in the theater, like a baby crying or a person on their phone or a drunk guy, come get an employee. We can take care of it right away and I know you might miss a couple minutes of your movie but what's worse? Missing two minutes of a three hour film or sitting there distracted and having the whole three hours ruined for you? Besides I'd you feel like you've missed too much they can usually get you into another showing or a refund or both.

If you have an infant and they start crying you need to leave the theater!! You brought you baby and you dont get to sit there ruining the film for everyone by letting your baby scream. Take them out and if they wont calm down get a refund and come back without them. Tbh just dont bring a toddler to a movie for real.

This one might be obvious but for the love of all that is holy PICK UP YOUR FUCKING TRASH. I have seen people lose their minds that it takes so long to clean a theater and then turn around and leave all of their trash behind. Guess what asshole, the reason it takes so long to clean the theater is BECAUSE people like you leave all of their trash!!! Be a decent person and pick it all up and take it out. Seriously, if you follow no other rule, at least take your trash with you when you leave. 

Also booster seats!! Pick those up and take them out with you. They are bulky and make it extra hard to clean up a theater quickly!!!!

Once the movie has completely ended, as in they have turned on the lights and started cleaning, GTFO. You are not allowed to hang out after your movie. It makes it hard for us to clean and wastes everyone’s time. Seriously, just leave. 

Another obvious one stay off your phone and don’t talk during the film??? People have waited years to see movies like Avengers just shut the fuck up and don’t ruin it for everyone. If you don’t want to see the movie and just want to talk and play Angry Birds stay home or hang out in the hallway!! 

Also!! If the previous film in your theater hasn’t ended you are not allowed to just go in and wait for it to end so you can “get better seats”. Not only are you cutting everyone who has been waiting, you are technically sneaking into a movie that you didn’t pay for which can get you kicked out. Plus even if you do get in before the last movie ends once they come in to clean they are gonna ask you to leave so they can clean. Plus they technically aren’t allowed to start cleaning until either the credits end or all the people leave so if you are the only person in there and just wait you have wasted the usher’s time because they could have cleaned the theater quickly but because you were there they had to stand there and wait. Just for real don’t fucking do this. (And I know some theaters won’t even let the ushers go in if there is still a person so for real just don’t go in until they have let in your showing.) 

After The Film:

Don’t talk about the movie on your way out. I have seen people purposely and accidentally spoil the movie for the people waiting in line and the employees!! The theater employees don’t get to see every single movie ahead of time, and a lot of times we aren’t even allowed to get into movies like Endgame free for weeks, since studios like to put restrictions on passes. Don’t be a dick and wait until you get to your car to talk about the movie, and don’t yell out spoilers, even as a joke, even fake ones, at the line. Don’t do this stuff. 

If the ushers are exit greeting, just say a quick hi or thank you, it is little but it makes us feel appreciated. 

Bathroom:

This one is simple, don’t make a mess. Throw your paper towels in the trash, be careful and don’t drip soap and water all over the counters, and don’t shake your hands and get spots on the mirrors. Don’t shove your trash in the period products trash cans. Don’t leave your garbage in the stalls. Don’t leave your clothes in the stalls. Just don’t make a mess. Theater workers can get in a lot of trouble for the bathrooms being dirty so make their jobs easier and try to keep things clean. No one likes using a dirty bathroom. 

This is in no way and exhaustive list, but over all just be nice, be clean, and be patient. The workers are beyond stressed during releases like this, and I have seen people break down in tears over it. Make their lives a little easier and follow these rules, because trust me one stressful days like this the smallest kindness can make all the difference, and help you not waste your time or anyone else’s.

(And this is mostly from my own experience, different theaters do things differently, so if there are any other theater workers who would like to add on to this please do!!)  

       ♚◞  𝑨𝑺𝑲 𝑴𝑬𝑴𝑬  .  »   brayden nam  & lennon nixon .  ˎˊ˗      @seosoojae​​

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 ?  :  

         considering they had   after all the drama & all the waiting, he wanted to make sure to make it special, for both of them. after picking her up from her house, he gifted her a teddy bear that he’d won at that ( dreaded ) carnival -- he’d been saving it so he could give it to her at the most opportune moment. brayden then took her to a quaint & cozy italian restaurant, sapori d’italia, with outdoor seating, which ended up being their “ go - to ” spots in the future. 

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫’𝐬 𝐮𝐩  :  

        brayden is pretty affectionate with lennon to begin. initially, when he notices she’s upset, he’ll graze his knuckles over the soft skin of her cheeks, asking if she wanted to talk about it & reassuring that he’s here for her if she needed. letting her prop her legs onto his lap, he lets his hands run over the smooth skin, grasping them gently every now & then as he listens to her vent about whatever is on her mind. naturally once she’s feeling a little lighter, he HAS to shower her in kisses. it’s just how it’s done.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 ( 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 ) ?  :

       BOTH ; brayden –  considering he’s an early bird, many times he finds that the two fell asleep on the couch. rather than waking her, he untangles himself  &  lifts her up bridal - style and carries her up his bedroom so she could be more comfortable. if it’s a good day, he gets back into bed with her. lennon -- when she finds that bray has fallen asleep with his head in her lap during their movie night, she leans down and brushes the tip of her nose against his before dropping a soft kiss on his lips. he’s a light sleeper, it doesn’t take much for him to stir awake.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐮𝐩 ?  :

         NEITHER ;  if it ever came to the point of someone getting splashed awake, it would be completely accidental. brayden’s on a call with nick and accidentally spits it out, shocked at something his friend said -- only to realize it fell on to lennon. let’s just say he was gonna give nick an earful, quickly hanging up so he could grab her tissues and begin groveling.

.    *    ◜  𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫’𝐬 𝐮𝐩  :

         being that brayden has always woken up early to get his day started, it’s more than likely that he wakes her whenever he’s back from the gym, drenched with sweat. he knows how much lennon dislikes the smell, so he purposely gets into bed with her  &  slips his arms around her. she responds instinctively with a lazy grin, shifting closer -- only till she realizes that it’s that time. post-gym time, aka time to wake up.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 ?  :

       BRAYDEN ;  when lennon starts cooking or baking, the kitchen is basically off - limits. she takes her culinary seriously -- almost too seriously, in his perspective. so when he saunters in, eyes full of mischief, she’s ready to kick him out. except he’s distracting her by walking up behind her and resting his chin onto her shoulder. after a few feathery kisses, he’s dragging his finger through the batter only to swipe it across her collar bones. all hell breaks loose.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐣𝐮𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐬 ?  :

        BRAYDEN ; he’s relentless at this point, risking his life just to get a reaction out of his girlfriend. after the chaos he triggered when she last tried to bake, he was essentially banned from the kitchen  &  yet still has the audacity to walk in when she begins mixing ingredients. this time he keeps his distance and hands raised with a,  “  i come in peace.  ”  she tolerates him only until he actually suggests putting weed in the brownies -- and can we guess what happens ? she kicks his ass outta her quarters.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 ( 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 ) 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐭 ?  :

        NEITHER ;  it hits him all at once. he’s been noticing how warmth would flood into his chest whenever he’d catch her gaze across the room or if they were doing something as simple as helping each other wash dishes (  it’s the only time she lets him into the kitchen tbh ). he plans on confessing how he feels for the blonde sooner than he ever expected.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  :

        BRAYDEN ;  at this point in his life, he’s had his share of altercations ( one of them -- over her ). at the end, it proved to be worth it, even if it was against his best friend. so of course, if anyone ever tried approaching her in the wrong way, he’d have to step in and show them to back tf up.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ( 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐭 ) ?  :

        LENNON ; even though he shares a pet with her best friend  &  current ex - girlfriend, she’s totally up to adopt another dog -- any animal really. though she loved dogs more than anything, majority of their DMs consisted of all kinds of furry lil animals doing crazy things.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫 ( 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐝 ) ?  :

         in bed, INITIALLY -- they’re both pretty quiet, testing the waters to see how the other is. bray gets more spurred on when she if she voices just how much she’s enjoying it ; once they’re more comfortable, they’re absolute freaks. they’re both pretty loud whether it’s him asking her if she likes it or her sensual moans, though he’s muting them with his lips against hers. out of bed, they’re both just straight up loud. they’re always making each other laugh or he’s doing something that has her yelling at him ( all fun  &  games though ).

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤𝐬 ( 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐝 ) ?  :

        BOTH ; in bed, they’re both quite the risk takers ya feel me. they’ll try all kinds of different positions until they realize what REALLY gets the other going. then it’s just game over. if they weren’t risk takers out of bed, they probably wouldn’t have even gotten together considering she’s best friends with his ex  &  his best friend had the longest crush on her.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 ‘𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲’ 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  :

          considering he’s got literal daddy - issues, he’s not sure how he feels about it. so if she ever used it on him, he’d be turned on more by the way she’s looking at him than by the actual word. after they smash, he def talks to her about it -- making sure not to make her feel weird or uncomfortable for even using it.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤 ?  :  

        bray loves her lips & how they feel against him -- anywhere really. just when she’s about to reach her peak, he loves capturing her lips in a kiss, her moan vibrating against his mouth when he does. he’s also a fan of hickies, but moreso in places where nobody can see -- in a place where only the two of them know. like a little secret.

.    *    ◜  𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬  :

         not gonna lie, in public, they might just be THAT couple. if he wants to kiss her while they’re on the line for starbucks or any line for that matter, you bet your ass he will. though, it’s usually chaste in front of others. he’s no pig. except when they’re in private, he likes grasping her hips and pulling her close, moving his lips against hers slowly to revel in the feeling.

.    *    ◜  𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫’𝐬  :

        brayden likes buying her things ; if he sees something that reminds him of her, he’s buying it. often times he finds himself in the baking aisle of a grocery store just to pick up some sort of frosting / cake - mix / or sprinkles, that she might like. if there’s some stationary he thinks she’ll like, he’ll grab that too. and if he’s about to go see her, he’ll stop by at starbucks to by her favorite drink before showing up to her place.

.    *    ◜  𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧  :

          often times, brayden finds himself staring at her with endearing hues when she’s talking or laughing with her friends. even if he’s sitting a few feet away and is amongst the guys, he’ll make his way over, gently grasping her chin to drop a quick kiss against her lips and give her a little bop on the tip of her nose. other times, he’ll pull her into his lap even if there are other seats available. he just likes being close to her ( like a clingy heaux ) lbr.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 ?  :

        BRAYDEN ;  he knows exactly what’ll get a rise out of her and will probably go out of his way to do it, only because he finds her reactions cute. when she switches it around on him, he’s a goner. when she’s dominating, he finds her even more attractive. he too, is a whipped ass hoe.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 ?  :  

       BOTH ; there have been times where he’s heard lennon singing in the shower  &  he’ll literally bust through the door to sing the main hook of the song as if he’d composed it.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 ?  :

       BRAYDEN – his daily showers are after his workouts. even if she’s tired, he’ll manage to convince her into joining him with a simple, “  don’t worry baby, i’ll take care of you.  ”  even if she’s resting her head against the tiles with her eyes closed, he has no problem carefully massaging shampoo into her blonde locks -- he’s also lowkey fascinated with the way they get so much darker under water  &  probably mentions it after. 

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 ?  :

        LENNON ; more often than not it’s because of brayden’s touches  &  him insisting on helping her wash her body parts that gets her in the mood. it probably makes her wonder whether it’s all pre - planned. lbr, why wouldn’t he want to ? even if its quick  &  rushed, he knows how much she likes when he’s pressing himself against her from behind.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 ?  :

       BRAYDEN ; being the perfectionist that lennon is, he knows how much she enjoys playing hostess at family events. she loves making sure everyone’s happy and taken care of -- and he likes to make sure she’s taken care of. the table is full of her cousins and their significant others  &  he doesn’t even flinch when he slips his hand onto her inner thigh, tips of his fingers drawing little circles on against her skin. the same goes when his sister is around -- except, it would be too evident if he ever pulled anything around evie. she would never let him live it down  &  lenn would probably never forgive him for it.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 ?  :

         neither make a fuss over what to listen to as it really just serves as background music to their conversations. although, bray is more of fan of rap and r & b EXCEPT he’ll find himself listening to random oldies from frank sinatra  &  start serenading lennon promptly after.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ?  :

        BOTH ; it’s date night & they just dined at sapori d’italia when it begins to rain. they could run inside but they’re both on a ‘ successful - date ’ high  &  decide to savor the moment. considering the restaurant’s old italian music was playing loud enough for it to be heard outside, brayden couldn’t pass up on the moment, offering her his hand before pulling her into his embrace for a slow dance. were there oldies swoonies ?  you bet.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 ?  :  

        NEITHER ; brayden has always been rather timid when it came to discussing something as serious as marriage -- after seeing the way his father broke their family, only to start a new one with another, took him down a bottomless pit of dark thoughts. except now, there was always a bright light at the end of it all -- now, it didn’t pain him as much when he thought of marriage and the possibility of a family with lennon. she knows his family history  &  wouldn’t want to push him on it either. so of course, when -- at some point -- he does propose, it knocks both of them off their feet.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 ?  :  

        growing up, he’d never entertain the idea of a happy family with the shit show his father put him & his sister through. and yet, when this blonde ray of sunshine known as lennon nixon enters his life, he finds himself with five children. each one given a middle name of someone that means something dear to them ; eliana aurora nam, arabella lorelai nam, grayson nicholas nam, rowen evangeline nam, & maddox amir ( a ) nam.

.    *    ◜  𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 ?  :

         though each one has a little bit of both of the parents -- it’s rowen evangeline nam that’s daddy’s girl af. he’s not sure whether he has a soft spot for her because she has his sister’s middle name, but if he needs to be convinced for anything, the other siblings send her his way. eliana took after her mother the most -- even though she inherited her father’s dark locks, she had her mother’s hazel eyes and bright smile. she was the one brayden worried for the most, not wanting some punk ass idiot to approach her. while grayson was a perfectionist in the kitchen, maddox was working magic with his fingers, taking after brayden with the piano. arabella was a little bit of everything, a perfectionist sloth who also happened to be a musical genius. brayden still questions why they used ‘ lorelai ’ as her middle name -- though, if he questions it one more time, lennon would kick his ass.

The Ostensive Fumblings of Being Human (part 7)

Pairing: Connor x female!reader

Rating: T

Summary: January 2039. The aftermath of the revolution continues to shake the city of Detroit. Androids are living in government provided communities while efforts are being made to integrate them into society. You are a grad-student volunteering with the Detroit Crisis Response Unit (DCRU), working to help with relief efforts. Set within the backdrop of the slowing growing Android Rights Movement, Connor, newly deviant, is trying to understand what it means to be alive while many others like him seek equality and justice.

Chapter Summary: You deal with the fallout of your actions the previous evening and get brought up to speed on some past events.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (ao3)

Tagged: @shaydeevee33 @easy-and-steady @goldie516 @house-arya @untilwearestarsinthesky @rainbowsithlord 

Leaving the DPD had felt like a scene out of The Green Mile . Dead man walking. Either you got disapproving looks or looks of marked concern based on the deep circles that had finally caught up under your eyes and the fact you had blood still on your hair and smeared on your neck. You hadn't been allowed to wash it off because, you found out, what happens when your hostage taker gets shot is your entire bloodied self becomes a piece of evidence. Filed away now in the DPD systems were photos of you, face blurred out looking exhausted and splattered red with gore. A little factoid you had never known about and wished you still didn't.

You resisted the urge to itch the spots of dried blood, knowing that the feeling was just in your head and you didn't particularly want it under your nails. That led to another slew of invasive thoughts that you pressed down as quickly as possible.

From another hall, Gavin gingerly walked out, stiff and with a face patched up with butterfly strips and cotton shoved up his nose. People clapped, a well meaning jeer at his expense, as he waved to the crowds like the Queen of England, tossing his jacket over his shoulder.

"Fuck you all, collectively and individually!" he said and you wished you could bring yourself to shuffle passed him quietly but when you came up along side him you worked up the courage to speak.

"Detective Reed?"

He paused, turning to look at you and said with a nasally voice, "Hey, if it ain't the worst Valentine of my life." but a smile followed the words.

"I'm really--"

Did "sorry" even begin to cover it?

"Don't worry about it." Gavin said before you could make that decision, walking you out to the lobby, "If you hadn't of been there, tin-can probably woulda let me get clipped. My cover was blown way before you showed up. If they had your face, they probably already had mine and I was cruisin' for a beat down or worse."

There was no way they could possibly know that and it became apparent to you he was trying to make you feel better.

"And now I get a nice paid vacation." Gavin said, "And believe it or not, from what I hear, you being there mighta been a break. But you didn't hear it from me."

It was late, later than you were accustomed to but not by much. A clock in the lobby read 3am, but the absence of people was also a great sign of how clearly dark it was. Like you it seemed, the good girls and boys of the DPD did not sleep.

"Look. Even I gotta go get head shrinked now because I got beat on and tin-can killed those two shitheads." Gavin began, "And I've been doing this for years. Trust me. It helps."

Gavin pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket, putting one between his lips in preparation for both your exit. He held the door open for you even, but with a level of distance that let you know it was out of character for him to be so polite.

"Again. You didn't hear that from me."

He lit it and took a long drag and exhaled, checking to make sure the cotton balls were still in place. He gave you a once over before offering the bud to you. The quickness in which you made a disgusted face drew a gruff laugh from him.

"Go home, valentine. Get some fuckin' sleep, cause you look like a crazy lady.  Have a meal that ain't caffeine why you're at it."

"Or smoke?" you asked, waving away a cloud.

"Ex-actly." Gavin said, punctuating by taking another long drag. Gavin walked you to the curb, hitting the flashing light by the waiting cabs. The door slid open.

"By all means." he said, gesturing that you should take it. You folded into the auto driving cab and Gavin leaned against the top of the car, "See ya around, ---."

He patted the top of the cab and the door shut, leaving you in warm lowlight darkness.

Your apartment was dark when you got home and cold, or maybe that was just you. You hadn't felt warm in hours and the only thing you wanted was to take a shower. You flicked on a table light, moving across the living room to the bathroom and discarding the DPD hoodie and sweats as you went. They had taken your bra because the blood soaked through, but your underwear you still had.

How considerate. you thought, laughing out a sound that was more like a sob.

You moved so slow, feeling like the hands that turned the faucet's on were far away. The water was hot enough to sting, but you stepped in anyway, gasping at the heat. You watched pink rivers slip from your head down your legs and flow into the white basin, disappearing down the drain. You grabbed a bottle of shampoo and scrubbed hard at your scalp, washing again and again until the foam on your hands was pure white and your hair felt stripped.

The crying came on suddenly when you lingered too long on the smell of smoke, the blast of heat and now the press of a gun on your hip, the smell of stale beer and the sounds of gunfire... the image of Connor, staring at you as if he didn't even know you. You pressed your forehead into the tile, letting water hit your back, skin flushing up hot and red.

"Stop." you mumbled to yourself, trying to force the images out, " Stop it, you idiot."

Quit torturing yourself. But it felt good to finally just relent and let yourself cry as much as you wanted. When you could no longer bare the hot water, you shut it off, wrapped up in a towel and walked dripping into your bedroom. You'd already taken the time in the cab to call off the next week, so you picked a pair of shorts and a tank that looked suitable for absolutely living in for the next few days and, still wet, sulked into your living room to sit down.

Distraction. You needed a distraction.

"TV on." you said, and the screen came to life with the display menu of your library. The menu played quiet music, ethereal and electronic and you found yourself just sitting and listening, letting your mind retreat far away into numbed oblivion. The sound of the door opening then scared you so badly you yelped as you sprung to your feet.

"Whose there?!" you shouted, heart hammering.

Quietly, Connor appeared in the door, shutting it behind him. He stood there at the front, not responding to you and keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. He'd changed, still in a suit and dress pants, but no longer splattered with blood. You could hear the creek of the metal as his hand was frozen, gripping the door before finally letting go with a rattle. You could see from where you were standing that his LED was still bright red.

"Connor." you said, feeling a sudden wave of relief, but it was quickly replaced by exasperated, "Jesus, you could have called or something."

Your breath slowed a bit, your expression morphing into one of confusion. Connor seemed to be taking a moment to compose himself before he spoke, tone controlled and methodical.

"You could have been killed today. Do you understand?"

"I was--"

" No. " Connor interrupted, "You could have been killed today, verify you understand."

"Yeah, I understand." you said, feeling a faint bubbling of your own anger brewing beneath the layers as you crossed your arms.

"Lieutenant Anderson should have charged you with obstruction." he said and you felt a sharp stab of hurt at how easily he did so, "Then you wouldn't ever do something this reckless again."

"I thought we were friends ." you said, curling your fists as if that would hold back your anger at this sudden attack.

"We are." Connor said, meeting your eyes at last, "But we almost weren't anymore. Because of what you did. Because of what they could have done."

Connor moved away from the door, pacing in a small trail. He indulged a nervous tick you noted of worrying his hands, wringing them in circles around each other.

“And the thought of you being gone… of there being no more books, no more visiting, no more talking… no more watching you smile or laugh… the sound of your breath when you fall asleep. All of it just gone? ”

His LED was red, solid and holding like the breath in your lungs as you listened to Connor and heard the pain and saw the conflict flashing across his face.

“I feel— wrong. Like my bio-components are seizing. Like I can’t breathe.” Connor stopped pacing, hands dropping to his sides as he looked at you.

“You were so afraid.” he said, voice evening again, "I could feel it."

You remembered the bar vividly, how Connor maneuvered through all of those men and how he just cut them down so easily. He was methodical, calculated and ruthless in his pursuit of his objective. You had never seen him working before outside the confides of the DPD building. You knew now why RK800’s were top of the line crime fighting units, because he was designed to do just that-- fight. Connor was designed to kill and he had and he most likely would again. It was… hard to feel the same about that as you did a human police officer or a soldier. They were trained yes, their skills honed, but this is what Connor was made for. He had once served no other purpose.

Once . You reminded yourself quietly.

"You seemed like a whole other person. I was shocked, and yes, I was scared, but only because I didn't know what you were going to do! I was just looking to not get kidnapped or shot."

Connor was trying very hard to keep his voice calm and machine like, pausing for a moment to collect himself before he spoke, "It is a reasonable reaction when one shoots a man within inches from you."

"Connor," you said, feeling like your own chest was now seizing, "Could we not relive that right now? You saved me, I know that. I was scared, but because of what was happening! Because of what has happened! And I'm not scared right now, I'm pissed off . Big difference."

It was obvious he wanted to say something, but was struggling to do put the words together. Despite that, his LED had gone from red to yellow, which was a welcome sign. The hardened and resolved look on his face had begun to already soften, nearly faded into nothing but a frown as he finally spoke.

"I apologize...I didn't know where to go. I was outside the DPD and before I would have turned in my weapon and written my report." Connor said at last, words shaking just slightly, “But this anger... I thought it would go when it was over, but it's still here and I can't make it stop. That man was going to hurt you and I had to make him stop."

Connor closed his eyes, "I had to follow my objectives. What else should I have done?"

There was something so deeply painful in the way he spoke, something old and lingering like an open wound. It wasn't all because of you and that was somewhat of a comfort, but at the same time it just made your heart ache for him worse. He seemed to come back from his mind, eyes opened slightly and his shoulders went slack.

"If you'd like me to go, I will do so." he said, "Just tell me what to do."

What he was asking for wasn’t comfort, though he might have mistaken it for such. It was just another form of servitude. He cried out for order, for structure and the thoughtless collar of command. It was easier than confronting the reality of his new life, of the fact that he had thought you were going to die and had weighed your life against another and found it wanting. He had made an entirely emotional choice. A human choice.

“I can't.” You said, "You're not a machine anymore, Connor. You don't have any objectives, just the things you've done and what you're doing."

His LED softened to blue.

"As for what I've done," you started, "I don't really have any explanation. I messed up, I know and I'm sorry because I got that detective hurt and-- most likely no one would have gotten shot tonight if I hadn't done what I did."

You took in a heavy breath, "And that's on me. Trust me, Connor. I understand completely. Okay? And what you're feeling? Everything you just said? You weren't feeling what I was feeling, I think you were just as scared as I was... and you recognized that."

There was a slight change in his expression, the thought occurring to him probably for the first time.

"How often have you been put in a situation where someone you like, where a friend is in danger?" you asked, knowing based on his reaction that it could not have been very many.

"When I revert back to my old programming, my old mindset, I am more efficient." he said after a moment, "If I hadn't I wouldn't have been able to fire a single shot. Not when he had you." Connor said, "I had to block it out. And then when it was over I was still afraid. The hostile was gone, but even now I feel the threat lingering."

"Connor." you said, feeling your eyes sting at the expression of a feeling you were all too familiar with at late, "That's a very human thing."

He looked at you, the polarizing opposite of what you'd seen at the bar. Lost . Face open and eyes alive and searching your own with something akin to confusion. As if he didn't know what to even do with these things anymore. It hurt to witness, and while you didn't know how he'd take it, you closed the distance between you both and the moment he was within reach you fell into him, wrapping your arms around his chest and snaking them up his back. You held, tight as your arms could stand and pressed your cheek over the warm hum of his thirium pump.

"You just care. And it makes me a bit less angry at you for ya know-- barging into my apartment. Which arguably, was pretty human too, if you watch too many movies." you said, a slight teasing edge in your voice, but also it came from just the immense relief that Connor was still Connor.

"I... should have knocked." he said.

"Remember that next time, alright?" you said, "Hopefully, though, there is no next time."

Connor was experiencing now, what you as a human had lots of experience with. Embarrassment. It was kinda funny on an android, the way he fidgeted and seemed to be uncertain exactly how to return the embrace. He settled his arms around you and gave a test squeeze. The moment he did, he seemed to lose his reservations, pulling you closer.

"Connor?" you said quietly, but he was busy burying his face into your neck. Clearly embarrassment was a little short lived in androids too. The ghosting touch sent a shiver up your spine and you had an inexplicable desire to shut your eyes and tilt your head back; a silent invitation. The moment centered back down as quickly as it started and you almost yelped his name in surprise at yourself alone.

" Connor." you said, more insistently and he met your eyes, half lidded.

"As much as I'd like to continue this little vent session," you mumbled, "It's time for bed."

You gently untangled yourself enough to look up at him.

"You gotta be exhausted too." you said, keeping your voice quiet.

"My power systems are nominal, but... yes. Yes, I think I am. I should return to Hank's."

Despite yourself, you quickly said, "Do you want to stay? At least until I fall asleep? "

"I have been placed on restricted duty," Connor said, "I can stay all night if... if you're okay with that. I would understand if you were not."

You sighed with something like relief and contentment mixed into one, resting your cheek into his chest and happy to let him tuck your head beneath his chin. He had gone still again, but after a moment began to soothe circles into your upper back, slow repetitive motions that somehow focused your breathing and chased your thoughts away. This was much better.

"Next time, lead with this." you said, muffled, "And then scold."

"---," he said quietly, "I am sorry. I should have knocked. I should have given you the chance to not have to..." he paused, "..."deal" with my malfunctions on top of your own."

"You're not malfunctioning. You're just upset. And honestly? I'd rather be upset together than have been stuck here by myself."

"Come on." you said, and reluctantly parted, taking his hand and leading him back through the hall. Before you could get settled into bed, Connor moved passed you and began to untuck your already unmade covers further. The bed had already been a mess, your pillows half smooshed down between the wall and the mattress or on the floor. You scooped them up and set them at the head of the bed.

"Lay down." Connor said, gentle yet still commanding. You slipped up onto the bed, watching him with curiosity as he shook out the covers. You laid back against the pillows but kept sat up on your elbows to watch him. He lifted up the sheet with a flick, letting it fall over you in a soft puff. He smoothed the blanket down, making sure it was snug around you. You laughed, a soft giddy sound. The duvet came next, warm and soft. Connor moved to the bedside as he got you situated, turning and setting his eyes on your desk chair. He moved to draw it over, but you stopped him with the soft calling of his name.

You freed your arms from the warmth of the covers to open them to him. He paused, eyes taking in every inch of you, soft and unyielding and beckoning him-- come here. Come to bed. He'd never had one of his own before...but adapting to unpredictability was one of his features. He could have questioned it, asked if this was something "friends" did, but he just didn't quite feel like risking the chance of actually changing your mind. He slipped off his tie, unbuttoning the white shirt to show a equally white under-armor t-shirt. He unbuckled his belt and snaked it out of the loops, but let his trousers on. Sitting down on the corner of the bed he took his shoes off and then let you help him under the cover. You tucked into Connor's side and laid your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arm around his middle.

Once, you would have been too shy to do so, but after everything you felt quite entitled. Connor was preoccupied, tracing your shoulder and your arm with the tips of his fingers and the back of his knuckles. He seemed deep in thought, his LED swirling as slowly and deliberately as his fingertips on your skin.

"Are you okay?" you said, voice thick with exhaustion, but still not quite able to shut your thoughts off.

"Processing." Connor said, chest rising up steeply than falling with a sigh. It was a good sound, "And I should be asking you."

"Today was a lot ..." you said, feeling your thoughts inevitably drift back to all the events of the past few weeks and closing your eyes tight, as if it would block them back, "I'm not actually sure if I am."

"Hey--" Connor said, “I am going to schedule you an appointment with victim services. They offer both one on one and group sessions this week.”

“Make it a group. I— am not really good at having all attention just on me.”

Connor seemed just relieved you agreed, having clearly expected more of an argument than that. No, at this point you knew if you didn’t talk about it you’d just keep pressing it down until it exploded. You made a face. Bad metaphor.

“I just get caught in a loop. I think about that day and it’s like I can feel everything and hear and even smell so clearly. It’s just so… much. I just cry. I can’t even stop it, it just has to get out.”

You rubbed your cheek into the soft, smooth material of Connor’s shirt, “I have to distract myself all the time or else it’s just there. Waiting.”

“ Have you heard of the term “grounding”?” Connor asked, “You focus on your surroundings, on what you feel and hear right now in this moment. It helps your senses redirect from the memory.”

“Do you do that?”

“It is a very effective process in certain cases. I also make use of my coin to help “re-calibrate”. But since becoming deviant sometimes that isn’t enough."

Connor's arm left your shoulder for a moment to reach down and pull the blankets back up around you. You splayed your fingers out over his chest, closing them and feeling the faint ridge where the circle of his thirium pump was. Slowly, you slid your hand down further, finding the hem of his shirt. You turned your eyes up to him,

"Is this okay?"

You watched his Adam apple move as he swallowed, eyes half closed.

"Yes."

This was not what Connor had probably had in mind when he recommended using your senses in the present to distract yourself. It was primarily curiosity though that guided your hand under his shirt, feeling the detailed ridges of muscle and tiny imperfections crafted into his epidermis to make him appear more human. They had even carved the pattern of ribs into his chest, not quite the same, but enough of a recreation to trick the mind.

You traced back down, finding that faint circle again at the center of Connor's chest and instinctively he caught your hand beneath his shirt, firm but gentle.

"Sorry." he mumbled, "Reflex. On a case last year a deviant got a bit too close."

You ran the tip of your middle finger over the ridge and felt him push back into the mattress.

"That is distracting." Connor said, not entirely disapproving.

"Isn't that the idea?" you said.

"Your vitals are up , which is not indicative of rest."

You humphed a sigh, but let your hand just rest over the spot, noting now the faint pulse against your palm. If you held your breath, you could hear it, slightly mechanical, but still a steady beating. His breathing was just as even and methodical. Connor did not need to breathe, the pulmonary reflex just there again to contribute to his appearing human, but you tried to match it, breathing in when he did and then out.

"That's better." Connor said, relaxing his grip on your hand to rest it over where yours cupped his heart. Because that was what it was at the end of the day, wasn't it? A biological component that pumped thirium, blood , through him. The thing that kept him alive as certainly as the muscle within your own chest kept you alive.

"This is... different . You and me." you concluded, the word holding an infinite number of meanings and emotions that had accumulated in the time you had known Connor. What was "this"? The connection you had felt back that day at the coffee shop? Or the thing that built up after? Or was it just everything? You were finding it hard to keep your eyes open the more you matched your breath to Connor's and the more your mind pondered instead on more pleasant subjects.

You barely heard Connor whisper back, " I know ."

Morning hit you without mercy as it came to collect it's due from all the sleepless nights before. There wasn't anywhere to go, or anything to do and the idea of not worrying or running yourself ragged was going to take some getting used to. You'd been out running everything, standing still felt like the equivalent of being told to stand still while a tidal wave threatened to rush the beach.

Speaking of beaches , you thought, curling up into a more snug burrito of blankets. Summer never came soon enough in Michigan and never stayed long. And now speaking of staying, you were aware of a distinct absence of Connor in your bed, which was a clear ploy to tempt you into the kitchen where you could smell food cooking.

You rolled up, excavating yourself from the sheets and nearly tripping when it caught around your ankle. You headed, gracelessly into the living room and adjoining kitchen to find not only Connor, utilizing your range to fry what looked to be eggs and bacon, but Josh. Sitting on one of the bar stools you used at the kitchen counter in place of owning a table.

His eyes were wide with surprise, "Damn, you really are good. 2.45 minutes on the dot."

"I told you she would be awake shortly." Connor said.

But you didn't pay attention to most of there back and forth as Josh stood and met you half way with a hug.

"Some new rep came by the Cyberlife plant and said you'd been in some kinda accident. That you were going to be gone indefinitely." Josh said, reclaiming his perch as you joined him at the stool next to him.

"Hold that thought-- Connor."

The android looked up at you, smiling faintly.

"Where did you get that?" you said, pointing to the paper bag marked "bio degradable" that seemed to once contain groceries.

"I used the app on your phone to order you something besides ground coffee for breakfast."

"And now you're-- cooking it."

"I inferred that based on last night, that cooking you breakfast would no longer constitute "too much"."

Josh made a sound, something between a laugh and a cough that you knew was surely meant to conceal the laugh.

"Looks like my concerns were unfounded." he said, "You're in good hands."

You moaned, pressing your hand over your face and dragging it down, "It's not what it sounds like."

Connor just smirked, turning his attention back to his task and flipping the two eggs over, yolk down with a spatula that you didn't even remember owning.

"Are deviants often purposefully obtuse?" you asked, more just to have Connor hear it than to have Josh answer.

"Markus definitely has his moments too." Josh said wryly, "Which reminds me. Markus wanted to know when you think you'll next grace Jericho with your presence. His words. You haven't been to the house since December."

It took you a moment to realize that Josh wasn't asking you, but Connor this. His expression gave nothing away, flipping the eggs and bacon onto a plate and handing it over to you. You took it, but continued to look between the two men with interest.

"You four do fine without me." Connor said, avoiding your very questioning looks, "We can discuss it later though."

Josh noted now your expression, giving Connor a pointed look.

" They have asked for you."

"I don't know why they would." Connor countered, "Again. We can discuss it later ."

"Or right now." you interjected, "What the hell are you guys talking about?"

Josh sighed, looking at Connor with disappointment and-- sympathy? He turned his attention to you, smiling fondly as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear and gave you another sideways hug. You leaned into it, not forgetting you were waiting for an answer. You thought you saw Connor's LED flicker in the corner of your eye.

"I'll head out. Let you two talk. ---, get some rest. You deserve it and know that Simon sends his thanks. I can't wait for you to come by and see everything your work did."

"I didn't do that much." you said with a scoff.

" Yes , you did. Just let North know if you decide to come by. She's taken over security while Simon is recuperating. I hope to see Connor there too."

Connor did not confirm or deny the invite, paying Josh little attention now. And with that Josh left. You poked at the yolks of your eggs with the prongs of your fork, watching the yellow liquid pop free and ooze slowly over the cooked whites.

"Well... I guess when they said "acquainted" they were lying." you said, "Connor, you are part of Jericho's leadership?!"

"No-- yes. It's complicated."

He was indulging that tick of his, immediately moving to clean up the dishes.

"Were you part of the revolution?" you said, barely able to hide the admiration in your voice. It did nothing to encourage Connor though, in fact the tone seemed to make him frown more if anything.

"Only that night." he said, "Before I was assigned to investigate and hunt down deviants. That was my mission."

"And you deviated." you finished for him.

"Yes."

The silence that followed made it clear Connor did not intend to elaborate.

"How? Why? Connor that's a huge deal, how has it never come up before?!"

"You should eat." Connor said, not quite successfully dissuading you. Something in him was conflicted, like always when topics got too heavy. He wanted to talk, but also you got the impression, like you, he didn't know how to start.

"Okay, I'll eat and you just start at the beginning."

"---," he said your name, an edge to his voice, "I am concerned because of the high probability it will change your opinion of me."

"Does that probability score show if my new opinion will be good or bad?" you asked, cutting into the egg.

Connor sighed, "No. It does not."

"Sounds very useful!" you said with a grin, taking a bite of egg and chasing it with a slice of bacon, "This is great by the way, thank you. Now spill it."

Connor smiled despite himself, coming around to take the seat Josh had occupied. He clasped his hands in front of him, keeping himself still.Grounded , your mind offered.

"I should start at the very beginning then. It may be long." Connor said, eyes fixed on some point beyond you as if he was recalling the way a human would. The spin of his LED said otherwise.

"August 15th, 2038. I was called to the residence of Caroline and John Phillips. Their android had deviated and taken their daughter hostage..." he paused, thoughtfully, "There was a salt water tank in the foyer and a fish had fallen out."

Have done NSFW alphabet for Brahms? If you don't, can you do it ?🙏🙏🙏

On this day I have been blessed by the oft-sought after NSFW Alphabet ask. Thank you, I can now pass in peace. 

We all know what’s under the cut.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Brahms has to learn aftercare. He’ll usually just go straight to sleep after he’s done with you, albiet, a tight hold on your waist. But still, it isn’t until you start showing him the proper procedure for aftercare that he begins to do it. After he learns about it, he’s always making sure you have something to eat or drink. He’ll wash you, brush your hair, anything you ask for, he’ll give you. 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and alsotheir partner’s)

His favorite body part has to be his arms. They get to hold you tightly. His favorite body part on you is your butt. Whether you have a big booty and teeny booty, he loves squeezing it. He sleeps best when his hands are on your ass. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgustingperson)

It’s thick, but there isn’t much of it. He likes to cum on you, rather than in you. It’s the mess it makes. When its Serious Business though, he’ll cum in you, several times if you allow him,. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret oftheirs)

Because he hasn’t learned toxic masculinity, Brahms is pretty much up for anything. But when you introduce him to anal sex, oh boy. You want Brahms to behave so you can get some work done, pat his butt and promise him anal sex. He will sit still and quiet for HOURS.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know whatthey’re doing?)

Little experience. Of course, being trapped in the walls, he knows what sex looks like. He’s watched the servants, and servicemen. He’s a chronic masturbator. and he reads. He knows what he’s doing, he’s just never done it before, so suffice it t say, you’re his first. And damn, what a first you are. 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Willprobably include a visual)

His favorite position is missionary. Like I said, this boy kills for anal sex, and the most pleasurable position for him to experience it is when he’s the bottom half in the missionary position. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are theyhumorous, etc)

Very goofy when he feels like it. Brahms likes to have fun in the bedroom. It’s a fun activity that deserves all the gags that go with it. But when he’s very aroused, then he turns serious. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet matchthe drapes, etc.)

It’s a jungle down there. Once you introduce him to baths, it’s at least a washed jungle. If you ask him to trim he will, but if you don’t, then it stays dark and bushy. He doesn’t expect you to be trimmed down there either. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romanticaspect…)

Depending on the moment, Brahms can be very romantic. He understands that sex sometimes has to be loving, serious, and passionate. On slow night, he will stop his thrusting frequently to kiss you. If you’re the type of person for high romance sex, than he’s all over it. Rose petals, bubble baths, the whole nine yards.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Before you came along, he jacked off at least five time a week. Often multiple times a day. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Anal sex (receiving), oral (giving), orgasm denial, over stimulation, doing it behind the walls with people in the room, watching you masturbate, having you watch him masturbate, stockings and lacy underwear.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere and everywhere. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Honestly, anything gets him going. The way you smile, the way you bend to get something you dropped, the wind. It doesn’t matter. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would hit you, and he doesn’t want to be hit himself. He also wouldn’t want to do it in front of someone else, or share you. sharing you is out of the question.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

As much as Brahms loves receiving, he loves giving more. 

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on his mood. Often though, it’s fast paced and rough.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than propersex, how often, etc.)

Loves quickies. He’s definitely snuck out of the walls to bang you in the kitchen real quick before someone else came in.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks,etc.)

He’s a slight risk taker, he’ll fuck you in an empty room with the doors unlocked, but he won’t do anything in front of other people. And he surely won’t do anything in public. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long dothey last…)

Two words: Energizer Bunny. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner orthemselves?)

Brahms LOVES toys. For him, or for you. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Actually, Brahms loves being teased. Of course, you need to be able to resist him better than he can resist you, because he WILL tease you back. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He prefers to be loud. When he fucks you, he wants you to know how good you make him feel. But if there’s someone in the next room, he’ll be very quiet, no matter how much it kills him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character ofyour choice)

Brahms is one of the rare men that can have multiple orgasms back to back. Averaging about three, plus a mini-one. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, pictureor words)

Very long and thick, he flushes a bright red when he’s aroused. He’s circumcised. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

All day every day. Brahms is ready for you whenever you’re ready for him.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Well, depends on the session, he’ll fall asleep right away. Often times, he likes to cuddle with you after the fact. And after you two have gotten in a lot of practice, he’ll be better at staying up and talking with yo, or cuddling you. Whatever your heart desires. 

Love me tender - Part Two (Shalaska/Pearlet), by Lavish

A/N: The long overdue second chapter. I am extremely sorry this took so long. Thank you to everyone who filled my askbox with questions about this fic even after so long. I love each and every one of you. Xo, Lavish.

Coming home was always a drag for Alaska. She never really left her office downtown before 7 pm, and still had a long drive back to the suburbs. Tom had talked her into living in Manhattan Beach, explicitly because it would be best to raise their kids in a safe, children-appropriate area. Young and in love, Alaska had accepted without even thinking twice. Now, stuck in traffic on a Friday night, with no kids, and wondering what take out service to call, it didn’t feel so great to have splurged in such a big house far away from her job. Nevertheless, she never really made the effort to escape Manhattan Beach. Alaska knew to select which battles to fight. Lately, she had been choosing much more than she’d like. She looked out of the window, analyzing the people on the sidewalks to pass the time. Since it was just the beginning of the weekend, the streets were packed. A roaring sound of chatter and laughter made its way inside the car from the people sat outside bars, already too drunk to care for politeness or tone. Alaska couldn’t help but smile. Not long ago, she was one of them. At this moment, she couldn’t really put a finger on the last time she went out. The red light turned green, and gripping the wheel with both of her hands, Alaska followed ahead, tired of feeling shitty about herself. She was a grown woman, who was able to not only fix her life but others as well. That was the main reason she’d gone to Law School in the first place. She was a helper, a giver, never a taker. Alaska always took better care of others than of herself. She allowed her mind run back to the meeting earlier, marveling in the story of the three individuals. She thought of Violet, still a young girl, having to make the tough choice of raising her baby or giving up a life she created. She thought of Matt, poor Matt, who seemed so scared to let their kid go to other hands, but also very afraid of losing Violet to his selfishness. Lastly, Alaska thought of Sharon, the beautiful nurse. Her belly fluttered with familiar butterflies while she reminisced in the memory of her voice and the warm touch of her hands. It was hard to concentrate on traffic. Alaska decided to call the one person she knew who was an all time fool and yet lovable. She selected the phone icon on her car screen and pressed the first contact. “Go for Cory.” His voice resonated through the speaker. The sound of it made her body relax, and Alaska felt the muscles of her shoulders start to detangle. “Hey, dork.” “Oh, my! Is this… is this Alaska? I once heard a tale about this mystical creature but I never knew one could get in touch with aliens so easily! How’s planet Glamtron?” Her brother joked in false awe, and she sensed no traces of resent in his speech. True, it’d been a while since they talked, but Cory made her feel closer to him everytime they spoke. A smile spread across her face and Alaska heard herself cackling, the sound resonating in the car. “How have you been, sis?” “Same old. I’m doing ok, I actually picked up a great case today.” She stopped at another red light and took her time watching the passers by. “There’s this teen couple, the girl is 6 months pregnant… She wants to give the baby up but the father is just not taking it. He won’t tell her tho, the poor thing is scared. And guess who’s adopting? Oh yes, the most beautiful nurse who ever lived.” “Ooooh, somebody’s got the hots for the nurse! Guess she’ll be….. licking your wounds very soon, what up?” Alaska scoffed and tried to contain a fit of laughter. She heard Cory’s snorting through the line. “You are so gross, oh my God. But no, she will not be licking anything, as I am a married lady and she’s a mom to be, so suck it.” “I know who you want to su…” “THAT’S ENOUGH FOR THIS CONVERSATION. I hope you don’t kiss our mom with that mouth, ugh.” She pressed on the accelerator, watching the parade of cars ahead finally start to move. Thankfully, she was halfway through the journey already. “Yeah, right. But really, Lask, stay cool. Also, send me a picture of her next time you see her. I would like to know what this lady looks like if she’s messing with your head like that.” “Maybe in the next life.” She took a left, breathing in deeply before talking again. “Hey, we should get lunch sometime. Wanna join me tomorrow?” “Hamburger Mary’s?” “Deal. You’re paying. Byeee!” She hung up before he could protest, a smile still accompanying her on the travel home. ———————————————————————————– Alaska arrived to an empty, dark house. There were traces of her husband’s entrance. His suit jacket was carefully folded on their L shaped couch, a cup of scotch half full sat on the coffee table, and his briefcase stood at a perfect 90º angle by the wall. It was all too meticulous like it was all a video game scenario. Nothing smelled like him, nothing seemed like he had got in with the intents to stay. By the door frame, a note. “Went to tennis practice with the guys. Don’t wait up. Love, T.” Alaska took a deep breath, expecting anger or sadness to wash over her. That something would cross her mind and ignite a more natural feeling than the utter relief she felt to know he wasn’t home. She sat down, defeated, kicking off her high heels. What was happening? Not too long ago she knew she would’ve been pissed. She would’ve called, asked him why he wasn’t home, she’d chase him down, even offer to tag along and play a match. But when you chase after someone for too long, the enchantment just fades away. You get worn out, you look for ways not to step on their toes because you simply don’t bother. Instead, all the anger flutters when you’re together, when you have to stand someone’s presence and the quirks you thought you’d learned to love. She motioned towards the kitchen and checked the clock for the first time since she’d entered. 9:23. She figured it was ok to have dinner, since Tom wouldn’t be back so soon. The club he played only closed at 11, and he was never one to leave early or leave a game unfinished. She picked out carrots, peas, cheese and two eggs, opting for an omelet. She found some left overs from the night before, and decided to leave them for when he arrived. Alaska went back to her pondering while the skillet heated, the only thing hot enough in the sterile, cold house she never called home anymore. Alaska found herself escaping any contact to avoid conflict. She didn’t even manage guilt to surface. She felt nothing about her relationship, save for some neediness here and there. Hot tears spiked her eyes, frustration the only thing to actually take over. Her marriage fell apart and she didn’t bother. Salty tears insisted on jumping off her eyes, making her dinner even more depressing. Her food was tasteless, despite her best efforts to season it. She felt pathetic, eating alone with most of the lights out. Still with a heavy stream cascading down her cheeks, she collected her belongings and headed upstairs to her bedroom. Not even her bed, decorated with cream and white pillows and bedding, looked that inviting. She opted to fill her tub with warm water and rose-smelling bubbles. Watching the steam rising from the water finally made soothed her, and the warmth of the room decorated her cheeks with a pink flush. She cut the stream of tears, wiping the rest of them before letting down her hair from the low bun she’d made. The strands brushed her shoulders, tickling the soft skin of her neck. It had always been her favorite thing to pamper herself. Shimmying out of her trousers and finally getting rid of her collared shirt, Alaska felt as if she was peeling off worries of her body. She could launder them later - both worries and clothes. For now, she just wanted to enjoy a calm bubble bath. After stripping off her underwear, she climbed into the hot water. The knots of her muscles untangled instantly, and her heartbeat finally slowed down. She didn’t know how long it’d been since it’d been racing. She reached a long arm out, extending it towards her phone. There was one call from Tom and 3 messages from an unknown number. She decided to call her husband first. She was sent to voicemail. “Hey, it’s me. I’m home, just taking a bath. There’s dinner in the fridge. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” She softened her voice, remembering the end of his note. “Love you too.” She hung up fast, as if she was afraid of her own words. Again, pathetic. Cursing under her breath, she unlocked her device and read the messages. [20:58] Hi, Alaska, this is Sharon! We met earlier today. Listen, I was wondering if we could set up a meeting before Friday, there are some things I would like to discuss with you on the side. Beer’s on me! Xx [21:02] Also I may or may not have willingly downloaded ‘Love Me Tender’ and a bunch of other Elvis tunes and put them in a pen drive for you, so when you come around at the hospital they’ll be our jams. [21:02] Ok, now I’m done. Let me know when our little meeting will go down! Alaska nearly dropped her phone. Her eyes were wider than an apple pie, and a surprised smile occupied the place her frown had been moments ago. She typed in an answer, scared her runny, wet fingers may let her phone slip. [21:49] I can’t believe you! Going as far as actually occupying disk memory in your computer with these songs can only mean one thing… [21:49] You either really really like ancient songs OR (which is highly more likely) you are determined to kiss my ass continuously until you get guard on this child lol kudos on the effort tho!! And yes, we shall meet again. I’ll be downtown again tomorrow to have lunch w my brother, would you like to meet me after? Alaska hit send before she could regret it. She knew it’d be odd in the least to meet a client during the weekend, but then again, it was Sharon who proposed it in the first place. Granted, they did have to discuss matters on the child and make sure she was ready to welcome a baby into her home and her life, so there had a lot of explaining and planning to do. Alaska clung to that idea, repeating to herself she was not taking her newest client on a date. Her ethic manners screamed at her heart, condemning how fast it beat waiting for an answer. She decided to focus on her bath and relax, putting away her phone to clear off her head. Sometimes, she felt it necessary to just be out of thoughts, feelings and memory. She appreciated the numbness and oblivion of moments like these. Alaska sunk deeper inside her tub, allowing the water to cover her pale body from head to toe. She stayed down, in her nest of warmth, until her lungs begged for breath. She lost track of time, distracting herself with the bubbles dancing around her toes. Only when the water turned cold and her fingers looked like raisings she stepped off. Alaska took her time drying off her skin, covering every inch she could reach with lotion, and blow-drying her blonde locks. Finally, she took her phone and wrapped herself in a robe, tucking herself into her bed. There were 6 texts and 1 missed call from Sharon. Alaska smiled before she even opened them up. [21:50] Why I do like them very much alaska! I’ll tell you all abt my fascinating taste in music tomorrow then, text me where we’ll meet [21:50] Also yes there will be a lot of kissing alright if its up to me [21:55] fuck why did I say that I don’t know where it came from [21:55] I thought you’d find it funny oh my god IM SORRY [21:55] can you believe I’m a nurse being this dumb [21:55] UGHHHHHHHHHHHH IM SORRY Alaska was a little ball of laughter, shaking with the motion of her wheezing. Sharon’s slight panic reminded her of an excited puppy who got so happy and agitated they end up tripping on their own paws. It was adorable and just made Alaska want to see her more. She entered her response quickly, feeling her body warm inside and out, and her lids heavy. [22:17] chill girl! I was just taking a bath, but its totally okay She thought about what to say next. Alaska felt confused, like she was betraying her own sense of dignity by feeling this attracted and lured by another woman while she was still married. But what was her marriage anyways, besides a contract bonding two people who were nothing alike? She felt like she’d just had a taste of what fun felt like, and she wanted more. She wanted the opportunity to know different people and try new things. Alaska wanted to chase this new feeling and courage, even if it led nowhere, or if it wouldn’t be with Sharon. She just needed the opportunity and she’d been granted with one, it was only up to her what to do next. [22:18] I’ll hold you to those promises!! See you tmrrw xo The feeling of accomplishment that overcame her just from those daring words was enough to bring a calm, well slept night, one she hadn’t had in forever. Just before she was taken by Orpheus and went into the peacefulness of slumber, she saw very clearly the colorful imagery her subconscious had fabricated. She distinguished two frames, both tall and slender, with soft curves on their hips and torso. Two women. One of them had hair of gold, a reflective shine only blondes exhibit. The other one had rosy lips and hair of ebony. They were happy, she could tell. There was something else, a third form she couldn’t identify at first. It was small and heavy – it had to be held with both arms. Upon further looking, shapes formed. A pair of shining, chocolate brown eyes. Very little hair framing rosy cheeks, and a tiny, round mouth. It seemed fragile and small, and now it was easy to decipher. The blonde lady held a perfect baby in her arms.