#also don't be afraid to observe and draw conclusions in general | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

andersdotters · 5 months

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Hi! I recently found your blogs, and can I just say how much I love your character analyses? Your portrayal of each character is always so in depth to the point where I can even picture them acting and speaking the same in game! I'm so impressed and I seriously don't know how you connect to each and every one of them so perfectly :O

If I may ask, what does your research and character profile process look like? As someone interested in writing, I hope to be as skilled as you with analysing characters (and writing plots and writing in general--) one day :) Any tips would be appreciated!

Thank you so much for all the hard work you do. I know I'll enjoy the story you come up with next!

Aww thank you so much!! Honestly sometimes I worry that my analyses won't be to everyone's tastes, so I'm very glad you think that they're good! I feel the same way about my writing because I know they're not the most romantic, so it's a relief to know you like it. ;v; <3 I have a lot to say about your questions though, so I'm going to put it under a readmore. It's an uh... infodump HAHA

When it comes to research, what it basically comes down to is reading everything. Read the character's lore, read their voice lines. Read what other characters have to say about them. Even talking to every NPC you see in the hopes that they'll talk about a character helps out a lot too HAHA. I also recommend going back to old events when doing research too. Reread them. Listen to the voice actor's portrayal of them. Read everything you can.

This is take three of trying to explain my character analysis process, but I'm going to give up and just explain to you the main logic that governs it. Basically what it boils down to is: we are not unique. Humans are not unique. What do I mean by this? People that are certain ways--for example, they have a low self-esteem, consistently overwork themselves, they want children when they get older, etc--they will typically share common characteristics. When you know the defining characteristics of each trait, you can potentially apply that trait to everyone you know that displays those characteristics.

For example, people that constantly overwork themselves typically have unhealthily high levels of perceived responsibility, typically with a self-deprecative trait that they don't deserve to be happy and rest. People that are very showy tend to care a lot about what people think of them. People that are extremely close to their families typically lose the ability to function properly without them.

If you know people that are like the examples above, you know that these observations are pretty accurate. And these examples represent pretty common types of people as well. Once you've seen one of them, you've seen them all. Nobody is unique. And because of that, you can apply these observations to characters because characters are meant to be human. Example one is Kaveh. Example two is Itto. And example 3 is Lyney. Now you've gotten a deeper dive into their psyche.

The way you become better at character analysis is by broadening your internal library of traits and their defining characteristics. This involves three steps: observation, drawing connections between observations, and fine tuning these connections by applying them to other people.

These steps are easy to understand, but let me go a bit more into step one. Observations come in two categories: physical observations and intuitive observations. Physical observations encompass things they physically do. Intuitive observations are larger statements that can't be tied to just a single physical observation. For example, physical observations may be that they don't go out much, they don't talk much in groups but do one-on-one, they wear bright colors, they're rude, etc. Intuitive observations are more: they seem to be uncomfortable around children, they act like they're scared to contact first, they're always on the move, etc.

The second step involves drawing lines between observations and trying to deduce meaning. For example, [they end their sentences using a rising intonation] + [they ask me my opinion a lot] = [this person cares about not sounding rude or unwelcoming]. Or, [they have a low self-esteem] + [they care about being seen as morally good] + [they engage in fandom] = [I probably should not tell this person I think Dottore and his penchant for human experimentation is hot].

Typically the logic goes: [physical observation] + [physical observation] = [intuitive observation]. [physical observation] + [intuitive observation] = [mid-tier intuitive observation]. [intuitive observation] + [intuitive observation] = [top tier intuitive observation].

But it does not end at step two. Step three basically tests to see if your observation from step two is valid or not. When you apply your observation from step two to a multitude of people, you're able to fine tune your observation to make it more generalized and more accurate. Maybe you realize that not everyone that ends their sentences in a rising intonation is necessarily polite, but it's more of a cultural thing. Maybe you see that having low self-esteem isn't always a symptom of having a high moral code. Test, revise, then test again. The higher the tier of your observation, the greater the chance it has of being wrong.

When I analyze characters, I go through my mental library and see which traits and characteristics I've catalogued before. And for things that don't have an exact match, I try to find ones that shares at least a few things in common that may follow the same logic. For example, I don't know anyone like Zhongli. However, I do have a friend that's very outgoing, but you can have a full on conversation with them and leave not knowing anything about them. Can I apply the logic of my friend to someone like Zhongli?

I will say this and I will say this again. People are not unique. Everyone is a copy of someone else in some way. When you treat the characters as if you were analysing any other normal human being, you can quite easily draw conclusions from what they have in common with people you know and have seen.

Anyway, this is so long I am so sorry. Hopefully I didn't completely bowl you over with information. OTL

#interactions #anon #another thing i want to say is like....#don't try to hold back the frankness of your observations #if you've ever read my analyses of kaveh they're uhhh.... not the nicest (tho idk if i only posted them on my personal...)#in order to become aware of flaws of characters you need to be able to accept the flaws objectively in others #if someone is mean then say they're mean. if they have a martyr complex then say they have a martyr complex #don't be afraid of being objective. that only hurts the process #some people think that it's not nice to give attention to the flaws of people you love #in my opinion that's complete bull #when you are aware of a person's flaws you understand them better and they become easier to forgive #you can rightfully say #'yes you may have flaws but knowing them makes me love you even more'#you get me?#also what helps is sharing your analyses with others and have them help you to refine your observations #also don't be afraid to observe and draw conclusions in general #sometimes you may feel you're invading a person's privacy #and uh..... to that....... um...#you have to decide what matters more to you. getting better at analysis or giving someone their privacy HAHA #by this i don't mean like... be a stalker or anything #but i think the biggest thing to actually remember the most is that....#CORRELATION DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION #just because a character shares all the traits a pattern you've seen in real life doesn't mean that's their issue #take everything EVERYTHING you deduce with a grain of salt #this is ESPECIALLY so when you are analyzing real people #no matter how accurate you think you may be you are not an empath nor are you a mind reader or god #do NOT act upon your deductions or think you know what's best for people from them #in the end analysis is purely theoretical so like... don't take yourself too seriously and have fun uwu

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chainofclovers · 2 years

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grace and frankie season 7

I don't know if I'll turn any of this into actual meta, but I'm gonna write down my initial thoughts on the final season in no particular order

I loved the very end so much, and I loved that they didn't draw out the suspense of whether or not they'd choose each other and figure out a way to be happy together forever. The story offered, quite literally (and via Dolly Parton!?), the hope of a truly permanent togetherness.

Fully cried about Robert's memory loss. Too close to home. I'm rarely that invested in Robert and Sol's storylines, and I still couldn't care less about their stupid theater, but the entire memory thing was written and acted beautifully and it even made me hate Peter a little less.

This is hands down my favorite season in terms of how they addressed the issues with Grace's alcohol and drug consumption. Those things are a part of her, and it was clear for maybe the first time that Grace is fully aware that these addictions are a part of her. Her being the one to talk to Coyote about his near-relapse was brilliantly done and the kind of scene I used to long for from this show and have long since come to the terms with the fact that we'd never get. But we did. I love that Grace is firm that she doesn't want to go to an AA meeting with Coyote, and I love that he respects that. And I love that she does listen to him about what he observes, and acknowledges that turning to these pills is the wrong choice for her, and eventually changes the behavior. I have never believed Grace would ever quit drinking, and the conclusion to this part of the story made total sense to me for her character. In addition to Coyote, I really liked that a lot of different people commented on stuff related to substance use in a way that was honest but typically relatively non-judgmental.

Grace's parents. Grace's dad. God. Her dad was a completely different person than anyone I pictured for her parent, and I absolutely loved the way they painted that character entirely through Grace's memories. While Robert is suffering memory loss, Grace is simultaneously tapping deeply into memories she was too afraid to touch. 7x5-7x16 were just so much deeper than a lot of what I've come to expect from the show?

I really hated the writing in 7x1-7x4, and while I still don't LOVE how much time we spent on everyone on this show apparently always starting or promoting self-owned businesses while also being deeply in a life of crime or just about to start.......the writing itself was so much better in the 7b episodes than the 7a eps.

Grace is cool now. She has evolved. She's still got fences and rough edges, but she's more self-aware, and more aware of how she wants others to perceive her. Not how she's afraid of being perceived (as anything but the perfect WASP wife), but how she, the real her, "the Grace that she is with Frankie" is perceived. She says yes to the adventures. In some ways, this entire 7b season was like an extended Say Yes night.

Coyote and Jessica are the best side characters, and certainly the best of that generation of characters.

They painted together! And that will make it more possible for Frankie to mourn the way she used to be able to paint when she had full use of her hands. GOD.

I can't believe it's over and I'm so incredibly relieved I liked it. Grace and Frankie fandom has been and will continue to be such a lovely spot, and I'm so grateful for the friends I've made and experiences I had because of this show. I don't think the writers and showrunners always made the best use of the characters' time from a plot perspective, and I think there are shows out there that are more consistently beautifully written, but everyone who created Grace and Frankie truly made a gorgeous reflection on love, the ability to change and grow at any age, and the unfairness and inevitability and poignancy of the passage of time.

#grace and frankie #grace and frankie s7 spoilers #meta by me #grace hanson is a gay disaster #frankie bergstein is a bisexual mess

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embrace-the-robot · 8 months

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I hate myself because I don't understand people, but I also don't try to understand people.

I don't try to understand people. To put it blunt, I'm scared of them. I just keep thinking about all of the ways that people don't connect, all the times I haven't connected (it's really every day) and I've learned the best way to get along with people is to put up a good enough appearance and then turn them away when they actually want to spend time with you.

I want to get better at it but I'm scared that I'll draw the wrong conclusions. I would be on Instagram more but in a photo I don't know what's the takeaway or what do you learn about people in general. I know so many people and it's so hard to keep track of all of these people's minds and what they like or don't like, do & don't do, and which observations are important and which ones aren't.

Do you have this problem? Do you try to understand people through Tumblr mostly? How much does it bother you that you might not understand someone or be different from them? Are you afraid of being publicly shamed on the internet?

#aspergers #loner life #agoraphobia #new to this #hi #adhd #depression #am i even who i think i am?#public shaming

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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WHAT WILL JIMIN POST ON JK'S BIRTHDAY 2020?

Interesting question. I get why my Askbox is flooded with it. May thirteen was a disappointment. Most Jikookers were looking forward to a reinforcement of a long established Jikook tradition- well everyone except me and a couple others I think. Y'all don't be paying attention. Lol

Jikook are complex beings and like any complex organism they learn to adapt to situations and surroundings. They are predictable in that way but also they are not. It's paradoxical, I know.

If you paid any attention to what was going on from late March through to June you'd have known there was little to no likelihood May 13 was gonna happen.

And if it had happened, it would have taken on a whole new meaning at least to some of us. But hey, 5/8 right? Sure. Jimin smart. We stan a Bigbrain.

Anywho, tomorrow is not about Jimin or Jikook or any ship. It's about JK. It's about celebrating the gift of life that he is. For all the times he's been hated on, this is the only day out of 365 days that we as a fandom get to put our differences aside and come together to show our love and appreciation for him- I hope.

I don't see why Jimin wouldn't do the same for him. Especially since it's been a long established tradition not just for Jikook but for all the members.

They all celebrate eachother's birthday to varying degrees but at the bare minimum they wish each other a happy birthday. That's the norm.

All the other members will wish JK a happy birthday and that includes Jimim. If you understand why people celebrate others birthday you'll understand this is not complicated at all. So it's not a question of will Jimin post tomorrow.

Jimin is a very kind, thoughtful and a loving person. It would be weird of him not to wish his fellow bandmate a happy birthday on his birthday. He would. He should. Rest assured.

But I understand that what y'all are asking me as far as Jikook is concerned and shipping goes is whether Jimin would do something extraordinary for JK this year like he did last year, what he would do and whether he would post about it.

Even though I am certain he will post, I can't tell you what that post is going to be, I'm an alien not Jesus you know?

What I can speculate on is whether or not Jimin would make another grand gesture like that of last year. Which is what this post is going to be about.

The answer to that question is not as simple as yes he would or no he wouldn't. Personally, I expect him to do something a little bit out of the ordinary or coded this year. I'll explain in a bit.

To be clear, I don't expect a repeat of last year or anything of the magnitude of last year at all as much as that would make me uWu so hard. Although... what if he pulls a 360 on us and propose to Jk on his birthday?what? I'm speaking it into existence!

What Jimin did last year was an exception not the norm. You don't fly half way across the world just because. To me that was a grand grand gesture in the history of JK's birthdays and I don't expect a repeat of it unless the circumstances that lead to that moment repeats its self.

The circumstances being that they were broke up and he was trying to fix things. Cough, cough.

JK's birthday last year was an Echo of Manila. A general consensus among Jikookers, is that JK had been mad because Jimin was choosing to spend time with Taemin on the eve of his birthday hence why he had had posted that song knowing full well Jimin would see it as a way to guilt trip Jimin.

If that is right, then Jimin flying over to be with Jk would be a huge statement.

2015 and 2019 are the years that have stood out to me most, birthday wise: Jimin saying he wanted to give JK a kiss on his 18th birthday and him flying from Paris to South K to be with JK on his birthday.

If you've ever heard Jimin talk about money, he is prudent and wise about money. I mean rather than spend millions on a luxury apartment he chose to buy an investment property instead. He is a Libra, I wouldn't expect anything less.

On his vacation trips, he's known to share cost of expenses with the friends he travels with if he's traveling with them. I won't call him frugal though, thoughtful and selective is more like it.

So when he does something of this nature, it's not nothing. He was making a statement period. He was proving something to someone- if you say Army I'll smack the back of your head. Lol

JK. He was proving something to JK. It's always been JK- so help me lord if you say it's Fanservice! It is not. It wasn't for Fanservice.

I've seen people around corners of the internet saying he didn't have to post his Paris video if he was going to go see JK anyway to celebrate with him. That the whole video message thing on Twitter seemed very much private.

I agree with the part about the video seeming private. It seemed personal to me. But it also seemed like the point of that video was to let JK know his location at the time to perhaps throw him off the surprise he had planned for later.

People have argued JM was just pulling a 'prank' on JK with that whole Paris trip to begin with. They were on a hiatus, they had been together prior to JM leaving for France a few days to JK's birthday so it doesn't make sense that they would be broken up at that time period and it doesn't make sense that Jimin will leave for Paris and fly back home only to leave again so it must be a prank.

... Sure. Valid point. However, I don't see Jimin being reckless with money or honestly that shallow. If that was a prank that was an expensive one.

And yes, Jimin didn't have to go on the trip. It wasn't business. It was leisure. I can see how that would be confusing to JK especially when it seemed JM was choosing to spend time with someone, be somewhere else rather than with him on his birthday- yet again. Coughing in Manila.

But sure, I can see how that would be the best 'prank' surprise for JK. Shaking my head. I don't think that was all that was happening with Jikook around that time as I have hinted at several times across my blog posts.

Jikook were broke up around that time, that trip was a grand gesture, Jimin's way to make up with Jk let him know he's learned his lessons. His friends are important but JK comes first. The lightning struck twice for JM and he got a second chance to redeem himself- the definition of GRAND gesture.

If you are a Kpop enthusiast you would also know about the political climate in S.K around that time frame and how it was impacting the Kpop world in general. Certain Boy Bands were under investigation for certain 'offences' I don't want to get into.

On August 11th, one member of such said boy band was arrested- allegedly. I don't know what it had to do with BTS or whether it had anything to do with them at all and I'm not insinuating anything but I just found that impromptu hiatus in August a bit suspicious giving everything else that was going on in S.K.

If 'people' were looking into Kpop boybands then I am certain BTS was on top of that list just because they are the biggest boyband and have been a target of haters for years.

Needless to say, I do not think they were gonna find anything at all on the boys if in deed they had looked but if the boys had a secret- like say two of their members being in the LGBTQ plus community then I assume that secret was bound to be found out?

It is why I believe the boys were asked to lay low in August and that Jikook specifically had been asked by BigHit to tone things down while they navigated the muddy mess of public scrutiny- in my opinion.

I also find it a bit interesting that both of Jikook later that same month and period would be involved in a scandal involving women- But feel free to draw your own conclusions on that however you please. This is just mine: I think that move was straight out of the PR books. Classic Olivia Pope-esque move. Lol

I know some people think it is in the best interest of Jikook to hide their relationship if they are real and that Jikook want to hide their relationship: I disagree.

Just based on my own observation, I don't think they enjoy hiding at all. Especially JK. Well, he did say he didn't want to hide anymore in GCF Saipan didn't he? Can't argue with that.

But also, out of the two, JK is the one who seems the most grounded and sure about their relationship. This is seen best in moments where they've almost been caught. JK's been the least bothered or throw off. Almost as if he doesn't mind if people find out about them.

For instance, when BTS exposed JK for sneaking into Jimin's bed Jimin looked terrified as fuck. He pointed to JK, almost throwing him under the bus but for someone behind the camera asking him to chill, Jimin would have freaked out of his mind.

Then we have that infamous moment when Jimin and JK walked into JK's room and spotted the camera. The look on JM's face said it all. But JK seemed pretty chill about it to me.

Now these moments are relevant because JM was caught unaware. They were both caught off guard and so their reactions were instinctive. By instinct Jimin freaked out which says to me he is afraid to be exposed or outed perhaps because he isn't ready to come out- yet. While JK's reaction on the other says to me he doesn't mind at all if people found out about them which could be because he is ready to come out.

I know what you are thinking and no. That time in the track when they were caught taking photos- JK looked more like he didn't appreciate the invasion of his privacy rather then terrified he was caught. They were on set and so they knew there were cameras roaming around and anyone could stumble on them. They were both consciously self aware of their environment which is why JM was able to make a quick comeback.

I can go on and on about this about this topic but the post is already getting too long.

My point is, Jikook don't like to hide. When you are in love you want the whole world to know. And so often, they fluctuate between wanting to keep their relationship a secret for the sake of their careers and wanting to declare and openly claim eachother.

Keeping their relationship a secret is bound to be stressful on them physically and emotionally. Just because they don't like to be outed don't mean they enjoy hiding.

Their secret is not theirs alone to tell. They have people whose careers depend on them. Their secret is inextricably linked with five other people. People whose careers could end instantly if their secret so much as came out accidentally or even by design.

I don't think either of them is selfish enough to risk that. Not even in the name of love. And this is especially true for Jimin the way I see it. As for JK..... I don't think he gives a shit. Bless him.

This doesn't mean, however, that they don't enjoy teetering the line. It's part of the thrill that fuels their passions- when they get to play at being caught and exposed or just the mere thought they are out smarting the public- fucking exhibitionist!

Jokes aside, I believe there is a sense of comfort and security they get from knowing there are thousands of people out there who enjoy and celebrate their love as openly as they would want to and they live openly vicariously through us.

Our support and acceptance means so much to them. Which is why often you find them reaching out to us.

Being told to lay low even if it's for their own interests would get on their nerves especially for a rebel like JK and Jimin knew this hence why that public display of his affection for Jk on Twitter.

Thus, I do I think JM would make another gesture similar to what he did last year but whatever gesture of he does make one would be unique in it's own way from last year's and would be more of an assurance of his love for JK and a prove to Army that they are fine just because i think they have both been through a lot this year just as he said in the dynamite MV reaction VLive which was rudely sabotaged by Tae.

Jimin seemed like he wanted to have a 'public' moment with JK as explained in my previous post on the Dynamite Reaction Vlive. And given as that moment was interrupted, I expect him to try that again. Whatever message he wanted to deliver it seemed more intended for JK as much as us their supporters.

He has been pretty active on social media lately in the days leading up to JK's birthday. He seems to be gearing up for something. He ain't slick.

So yea, part of me hopes and expect him to do something nice, to make a statement similar to last year's but I cannot ignore also that there's been a lot of eyes and attention on Jikook a lot lately. More so than usual.

Posting something of that nature would single them out and only escalate the situation especially if it is something that makes them both stand out from the others.

For context, I am talking about the heat they recieved as a result of the Dynamite MV. That heat is drenched in homophobia and they and BigHit could care shit about that as I explained in my previous post but you have to understand it can have a negative impact on their mental health.

I mean, NamJoon is constantly being paired with JK a lot lately. It's almost as if he is keeping an eye on Him constantly if you know what I mean. Tae has also been keeping an eye on Jikook, outing Jikook's schemes and shenanigans before they happen like in that Dynamite MV Reaction VLive where he asked JK not to look into the camera during Jimin's solo commentary.

It's understandable. Their interest is as stake too. If Jikook go down, they are going down too. It's daisy.

What I'm saying is, Jikook is being monitored and it would be daring of Jimin to do something as grand for JK openly like that.

But who knows. If it's gonna make JK happy because they've both been through a lot this half of the year then JM would definitely definitely do it. He is defiant like that and he can be a bit of a dare devil when it comes to proving his stance to Jk. He wouldn't hesitate for a second. I love that about him.

Mad respect for him if he does. Mad mad respect for him if he does. But if he doesn't you'd all know why.

In conclusion, I'm saying I'm expecting something more than a happy birthday text from Jimin this year. I'm expecting something more meaningful, deep, coded and uniquely Jikook.

If it happens to be a proposal Ayla you can have all my shmoney! Lol

Signed,

GOLDY

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kafkaesquelife · 4 years

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The only non-modernist master that can truly spark my fire for the older periods, for the period of (early) Italian Renaissance. . . When I first started to explore and study about the history of art, alongside my practical studies, I have always been drawn to modernism. I loved older periods and I could and can always find something to catch on in anything before Modernism. But I never found an artist of older periods (before 19th century) that I could be so mesmerized by, as it happened to me with the discovery of Sandro Botticelli. La Primavera - Spring (cca 1482.), large panel painting in tempera paint. Painting itself used to be associated with his "The Birth of Venus", although art historians came to a conclusion that the two are not directly linked to one another. Both of the paintings are kept in Uffizi Gallery, and "The Birth of Venus" is a work more known to the general audience than Primavera is.

Venus stands in the arch, in the middle of the painting. There are six female figures to be found, and two male ones. Next to Venus, on the left of the painting, the Three Graces, a group of three females, are presented dancing, visibly holding hands. At the extreme left you can see Mercury, depicted in his "typical" clothes - crucial being his footwear. Zephyrus (the west wind God) and Chloris are looking at each other - or to better say, nympth Chloris depicted as being "attacked" by Zephyrus.

One of the Three Graces - the middle one- seems to be facing Mercury, while the other two seem to look at each other. Mercury has turned his back away, Cupid is blindfolded.

Only two figures looking at the viewer are Venus and Flora (the symbol of spring). Flora is depicted with an unusual smile.

Back in the day, being too young and lost in the enormous, mesmerizing and complicated world of fine arts/art history, alongside slowly gaining knowledge that would later on become my only reason to live, I had to rely solely on my personal childish feelings that I had for this painting. For me, it was the entrence for the whole new world each time I saw it, both stable and dynamic. I wish I have more time now as I did in childhood, but each work of art should require at least three hours of careful observation - and this is surely the first ever work of art so far from modernism that I found myself staring at for hours on and on. Drawing from life is extremely important for the improvement in fine arts - this is something I didn't learn until I finished high school and entered the academy of fine arts in my home country - where you constantly draw from life. In just around few months of constant life drawing - observational drawing - I have reached the point I never thought I am capable of beforehand. I realized that sometimes to see is far more important than to draw. Alongside my improvement and extensive eye training, I also realized that you should push your boundaries, and you should work on things you are afraid of - and as my sculpting teacher, a very honest and nonetheless encouraging woman, often says to us "we have a natural aversion towards certain subjects in art, which is normal and - after you create something and realize you are capable of doing it - stupid."

Note to myself - do not be afraid to live art. Art must become your home, your only source of life, reason to breathe and - your first everything.

However, it is also not such a bad thing to do at least one master copy from time to time. It won't only help you understand the work of art better (not really from the iconography pov), but it will also give you space to experiment. I bet that Girl with the Pearl Earring, by Johannes Vermeer, is one of the most commonly copied paintings I stumbled upon in my circle of friends and artists I've met. It ended up being my first 'classical' master copy as well (my first copy was David Hockney). I had no idea how to paint and what to do with all the colors and paintbrushes I had.

But, doing a master copy did not only make me examine the painting for hours - while working or resting - it also placed me in a position where I was trying to figure out how he was able to create all that he did in the painting, and therefore I ended up experimenting with oil paint, trying to find my way around it. Of course, the whole process was wrong - although the ending product was fine.

So - a final note to myself. Don't be afraid to do a master copy of everything that impresses, aka scares you from time to time. But also, do not postpone drawing from observation. In fact, make it your priority!

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crikekenya · 4 years

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*FEARS THAT HOLDS YOU BACK IN LIFE THAT YOU MUST OVERCOME*

Fear can hold you back in your career, your relationships, and in achieving your dreams. In my own life experience, I have observed that one of the factor making people to live below their potential is fear. Read and reflect on this painful truth and purpose to change your destiny. Some of the major fears that obstruct success include;

*The Fear of Rejection*

I do not know of anyone who is okay with rejection. Most of us want some level of acceptance from others and this is natural. But there is a big difference between being uncomfortable with rejection and being afraid of it, that it stops you cold from achieving personal or professional success. Many people avoid entering into new relationships or trying to meet new people due to a fear of rejection. Whether you’ve got a fear of your boss declining your request for a pay raise or promotion or a fear that the attractive person won’t go on a date with you, is an indication that you may have excessive fear of being judged or ridiculed. People with fear of rejection tend to become " _people pleasers_ ". They say yes too often to activities that they do not even enjoy or want to do out of fear of not being liked or accepted.They also tend to wait on others to make offers instead of taking initiatives to make things happen. They cannot bargain for their welfare out of fear of being judged by others. Never let the fear of rejection hold you back in life.

*Fear of success*

This may sound irrational. However, fear of success is real just like fear of failure. Success means change and it can bring an unwelcomed spotlight of attention and many new detractors. One observation is obvious, the more successful you become, the more you get noticed. While getting noticed often brings more admirers, it also brings on more haters. Another reason people fear success is that it creates new standards and expectations, and people get stressed about how to manage those standards. The fear of success is about fearing pressure and resisting accountability. It is simply a fear of a new attention and expectations. People with an overwhelming fear of success may consciously or subconsciously sabotage their efforts to make failure seem inevitable. They find reasons to procrastinate with menial or low demands. They may set low standards and expectations for themselves just in case they cannot or don't deliver. This form fear stagnates personal development and success in life. Challenge the status quo and break the. Chains of fear of success.

*The Fear of Failure*

One of the top fears in the world is a fear of failure. Many people won’t try something new unless they’re confident they can win. Failure is a normal part of life and learning from failure can help you find eventual success.

*The Fear of Uncertainty*

The fear of uncertainty often prevents people from trying something different. They often worry, “What if I don’t like it?” This fear can prevent people from trying new things or doing things differently from the way they’ve always been done.

*The Fear of Loneliness*

Sometimes people stay in bad relationships or resist living alone due to their fear of loneliness. Learning how to tolerate feeling lonely and finding ways to keep yourself company can help manage the fear of loneliness.

*The Fear of Change*

We live in a rapidly changing world. However, many people fear change. As a result, they resist it. The fear of change can cause people to become stagnant and they may miss out on a lot of really good opportunities in life.

*The Fear of Loss of Freedom*

Although we should have some fear of the loss of freedom, some people allow this fear to hold them back. Many people enjoy the freedom they have as a single person and as a result, they avoid serious relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to tolerate the loss of the freedom. Although some loss of freedom does accompany a serious relationship, it’s important to balance independence with dependence and maintain some freedoms.

*The Fear of Being Judged*

People who worry that they’ll be judged negatively by others often shy away from social opportunities or chances to advance their career and life in general. People who adopt this fear often exaggerate how others will perceive them negatively and underestimate their ability to tolerate not being well-received by others.

*The Fear of Something Bad Happening*

Bad things happen in life. It’s inevitable. However, when people constantly fear something bad happening, it often restricts their activities. They may avoid doing a lot of things or going to certain places due to an unrealistic fear that bad things may happen.

*The Fear of Getting Hurt*

We should all have some fear of getting hurt. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t look both ways before you crossed the street. However, people who have a big fear of being emotionally hurt often refuse to enter into relationships. They may avoid friendships, keep family at an arm’s length, and skip romantic relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to handle getting hurt.

*The Fear of Inadequacy*

One of the top fears many people share is that they’re just not good enough. They may pass up opportunities for a promotion or may decline an opportunity to lead a group because they worry that they’re inadequate. Often, they overcompensate for their fears by trying to be a perfectionist but remain plagued by thoughts that they just don’t measure up to other people.

*What can you do to overcome fear*

1. _Get away from small minded people_

Not everyone is going yo able to appreciate your dreams, your goals and your choices. Surround yourself with those who can support and appreciate you. Build a support system for those who can and will help you become successful.

2. _Start expecting to be rejected._

It is definitely going to happen. We all get rejected from time to time do by expecting it, you limits its power.

3. _Be courageous enough to be true to yourself, and understand that you will surely disappoint other people from time to time_

Define success for yourself, live your life for yourself. Focus more on accepting yourself rather than worrying whether other people accept you.

4. _Continually remind yourself that your are part of something larger than you._ When you realize you are part of a bigger picture, even if you do not fully understand what that is, it's easier to ascertain that you both deserve and need to be successful and happy. The big picture thoughts can give you courage to try something new and believe that your life is successful irrespective of the outcome. Just trying is good enough than not trying at all.

5. _Have desire to learn. People are always scared of what they do not know._

If you have fear of something you just have to educate yourself about it. Consult or read books about what you are fearing. Knowledge is liberating.

6. _Live in balance_

No matter how important success might seem to you, it is still important to follow it with balance, otherwise your journey towards success will turn into an obsession that will ruin everything that you truly love in life.

7. _Explore and counteract negative beliefs._

Fear of success is almost always linked to low self- worth which is driven by mistaken belief that we carry inside. Create time to explore your core beliefs and cognitive distortions and have a clear plan to counteract them.

8. _Sometimes simply recalling small or big achievements_ that you have had is enough to remind you that you have what it takes to succeed. Success is not a destination but a journey. So it is important that we take each step feeling grounded and balanced.

9. _Make small daily changes._

If the root of your fear of your success is change, try to incorporate small changes into your life each day. By accustoming yourself to change, you will find it easier to acclimatize to success.

10. _Accept the inevitability of discomfort._

Standing out in the limelight can be extremely uncomfortable, especially if you are a self conscious person. But also realize that discomfort is inevitable at the beginning, and it won't last for ever. Think of success as exposure therapy: there I'd no gain without a little pain

11. _You have the to right to say "NO"_

Sometimes the idea of success is accompanied by the fear of taking on too many responsibilities or being inundated by others. Remember you have the right to say " no". It is within your power and capability to draw boundaries and create a balanced life. Success in not the cause of burnout. People's mindsets are.

*Conclusion*

To succeed in life we must all overcome fears. It is one of the hindering factor toward success. We must break the chains of fear and regain your freedom to sail toward your destinies. Remember of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears. Your fears are only deep as your mind allows. Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. Overcome it now!!

Thank you

Stephen Kamore

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