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legendoftherisingtide · 6 months

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[intro]

Bakugou is a prideful, arrogant person. He holds himself to the highest standard; he is the best and everyone else is simply below him. Everything he has ever done was in pursuit of being number one, shining above the rest. He has to have a perfect victory, he has to be a perfect student, he has to win to save.

He pushes and pushes and won’t let anyone see his weaknesses or his insecurities. He can never lose, he can never fail, he can never show that he regrets or hesitates or that he hasn’t thought everything through. He must never be vulnerable in every sense of the word.

Then why is he standing in the rain.

To apologize shouldn’t be a sacrifice, but it is for Bakugou. To pour his feelings, to admit his wrong, to let down all of the walls he has built and be vulnerable. And in front of his whole class.

He is willing to sacrifice his pride, to fully sacrifice any superiority he could have, to bare his soul and even risk rejection. Because he knows Midoriya is more important. Because he wants him to come home, he wants him to know his true feelings, because he wants things to change.

Because Midoriya has changed him. Midoriya has opened his eyes; by showing him he’s allowed to be open, that his feelings should be expressed, that he has so much to learn, and so much of that was learned through Midoriya just existing.

He isn’t sacrificing his safety frivolously because he’s expected to as a hero; he is doing it because he has grown. He is doing it because he has finally admitted to himself that he wants Midoriya to be with him and safe.

So I will sacrifice this for you. Not because it will change anything, as much as I want that I know that I can’t just fix all the wrong with just this. And I am willing to do as much as it takes to earn your forgiveness. But I don’t need that from you, not now and not ever if you don’t want that, I just need you to rest. I did so much wrong. And I am sorry for everything. You don’t have to do this alone. Lean on us. You are so strong and being supported doesn’t discount that. You’ve taught me that.

I hate the rain. But I will brave it for you.

He would do everything in his power, admit so many things, just to get Midoriya to take care of himself. We see him being the most vulnerable he has ever been in front of people that aren’t Midoriya. He does so much completely out of character, all in pursuit of being there for Midoriya.

For Izuku.

He finally gets over himself and finally tells Midoriya the feelings he has felt for so long.

He lets go of this idea he is inherently better and finally acknowledges that his hatred for Midoriya has always been about his own shortcomings and insecurities. But he still wants to be better, they are still rivals. He isn’t going to sacrifice that part of him because that is just who he is; he is still going to push to number one.

But now it’s different.

There is verbal and vocal acceptance and respect. Before it was unspoken; their relationship had changed ever since Ground Beta. They were proper rivals, with mutual respect and care, they were actively making each other better.

But Bakugo finally verbalizes it and tells Midoriya, not only is he sorry, but he wants to actually have a proper friendship; he wants to continue to become better and earn his forgiveness. He wants them to push each other to be better, he wants to continue to fight for the top spot, he still wants to be the best.

But when did it become something else?

When was the turning point when it started to shift from wanting to surpass Midoriya and be the best, to wanting to keep up with Midoriya and stay by his side?

Bakugou has already sacrificed himself for Midoriya before. His body moved on its own; with no hesitation, he would save Midoriya. He has already risked his life for him. But there is a layer to it that I don’t think people talk about.

He tells Midoriya he shouldn’t try to win this on his own.

He disguises his concern with an insistence that he’s in it to fight for himself when he initially joins the battle. But it is to fight by Midoriya’s side and support him.

But taking the hit for Midoriya, jumping in the way isn’t just support. This is sacrifice. This is giving yourself to ensure the safety of someone. And it was second nature.

There are two reasons and both are a sacrifice of something in the moment.

It is knowing someone is so valuable, so great, in all senses of the word, that they must be protected. Bakugou is sacrificing his body and admitting that Midoriya needs to stay alive, for personal reasons and/or for the world. He needs Midoriya to be okay, Midoriya can’t fight alone and Bakugou will do anything to make sure he will be okay.

But the sacrifice of ideology.

With every development, he has relinquished parts of himself. When he sacrifices himself he is not only sacrificing his body but is admitting that he can’t do this on his own; he needs Midoriya too. This isn’t him wanting to be better than Midoriya, it’s him wanting to do it together.

Midoriya changed him.

He doesn’t die for Midoriya. He wakes up and just as his last thought was Midoriya, so was his first as he woke up. He runs to his side. People are dragging him back, trying to have him rest, knowing before he even said anything that he would lose his mind over Midoriya’s situation.

Everyone sees how Bakugou feels about Midoriya.

He sacrifices himself because Midoriya can not die on him. Midoriya has to stay alive. Midoriya has to keep fighting.

There can not be a world that doesn’t have him in it.

This is the culmination of what has been developing ever since the final exam where Bakugou finally works with Midoriya; the day that win to save, save to win was noticed. Then furthered after Ground Beta where they finally talked to each other and something changed within them both.

But the final sacrifice is the culmination of Bakugou’s character.

He knows what this decision will mean. Everyone screams for him not to. He knows that he is going to die. He knows he will not win this fight.

This isn’t dying for the cause. This isn’t just a hero complex. This is because he can help Midoriya and he will. This is for Izuku.

I will sacrifice myself for you. To give you more time, to give you even the slightest chance of winning. I will sacrifice myself for you because you are who can win. I am going to die. I am going to die and in my final thoughts, I will ask if I will still be able to be by your side.

It is no longer can I beat you. It is no longer can I surpass you. It is can I still catch up to you. It is can I still even be equal to you. He has already sacrificed the idea that he could beat Midoriya, that isn’t what he wants anymore. What he wants is to stay here with him.

I will sacrifice everything I am. I have wanted to be the best. All my life I have wanted to surpass you and everyone around me. But you. I will let that go for you. I let it go in my mind for so long now and I have never wanted to admit it. Is it even possible? Is it even possible for me to catch up to you? Is it even possible for me to stay by your side. I can’t be that anymore. I am sacrificing even that now. I will never be number one now. I will never become the person I always dreamed to be. I will never surpass you. I am forever sacrificing that now. I will die here.

But can I still be with you?

The sacrifice of his life is him fully relinquishing everything he is, admitting that he can’t keep up, losing all of the progress he has made, letting go of everything that made up his character.

And the last thing on his mind is if he can still be able to be by Midoriya’s side.

He won’t let him go again.

#EDITED BC I REALIZED I DIDNT PUT A READ MORE SO IT MUST BE SO OBNOXIOUS #so I finally finished putting in the images and mustered up the courage to post it #I’m always so nervous about posting opinions or anything long bc I get super passionate and I’m scared it’s wrong—#i added pictures as evidence but in reality is was bc i was super insecure that no one would want to read all that--#the intro was so long and was also made to apply to both togachako and bakudeku so i just made it a masterpost instead #this is still very long i am sorry but i have so many thoughts #but like yeah this is just my little essay about sacrifice and love and how they’re intertwined #and it goes both ways #but that’s for another day and another essay #togachako follow the sacrifice and love perfectly #so I will probably write one for them as well… maybe #bkdk #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakudeku meta #bnha analysis #mha analysis #bnha spoilers #<- for the whole manga but cmon if ur reading this you know it all #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku

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queenie-blackthorn · 18 days

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sometimes i feel like i hate everyone

#if i ever say “i hate you” dont take it personally #everyone does stupid shit sometimes n thats fine but its happening sm and im sick of it n i need to speak up #chances are if u see this ur not part of the problem bc ur actually reading the shit i post #the fact that barely anyone realized that i relapsed into sh yesterday is crazy #im not doing this for attention its a fucking cry for help and most of yall are ignoring me #you ignore me when im fine and you ignore me when i need you #what am i supposed to do ffs #do i have to show you my bleeding thighs for you to ask how i am?#do you have to wait until i scream and cry and hurt myself for you to care abt me?#do i not matter unless im hurting? or do i not matter even when i am hurting?#do i have to fucking die for any of yall to realize theres something mentally wrong w me?#fuck you all youre just as bad as my parents #except for the four people who talked me out of spiralling last night #two of which were people i barely/dont know #so yeah maybe try harder n actually ask ur friends how they are #dont push them to the point where they need to be comforted by strangers

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oatbugs · 1 month

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pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

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hungerpunch · 4 months

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i've thought a lot about it and i have concluded that parents just shouldn't Be Like That about their kids doing sports, you know?

#this post brought to u by my inexplicable picking up of abby wambach's 2016 memoir #(who never even LOVED soccer btw?!?!?)#kids who grow up to view their bodies as transactional pawns and their pain & suffering as currency to buy love with #too many parents are too fucking intense about sports. please relax. god. that's a baby with an undeveloped brain be NICE to it!#yeah ur kid can love a sport. but you know what most of all?#most of all ur kid wants you. your love and your attention.#and what if ur kid DOESN'T love the sport they're just GOOD at it?#you need to reinforce that you will love your children even when they're not good at stuff so they don't end up committing their lives #to things they hate just to please you!#idk maybe we should just do something CRAZY like ban child athletics IDK i feel CRAZY about this!!!#i've just read too many stories about how parents ruin their child's life and destroy their sense of self with SPORT. ahhh!!!#i think all professional athletes are fucked up in an entirely preventable way!!!!#hear me out what if: if the sport cannot be performed past the age of 25-30 then it should be gutted and revamped #so that u can't START playing it professionally until that age!#and whatever it takes to make that feasible for 30+ SHOULD JUST BE DONE.#oh god i'm in a spiral about what we have been conditioned to expect athletes to do for our entertainment.#driveby post

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anxiously-sidequesting · 5 months

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SPEAKING OF WHICH are there like any chill wizard101 discord servers or group chats that I could join. Or if anyone just wanna add me on discord shoot me a tumblr DM because I'm lonely and I like you guys :)

#ive had this thought for a while BUT IM JUST SHY. but after the soap opera morganthe dream i just had i need wizard friends to yell at #i got like one wizard mutual on discord already. if youre reading this you know who u are. love you /p <3 #other than that one person NONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS ON DISCORD PLAY THE GAME AND IM LOBELY #I WANNA TALK ABOUT WIZARDS AND SHIT #altho ill probably be a useless discord discussion partner because i have no literary comprehension-#-and i havent played the source material in years. okay #all my knowledge on wizard101 is either personal headcanons im now considering as facts or secondhand knowledge from the internet #also my ocs. i love talking about my ocs even though they have the depth of cardboard #ALSO LOVE HEARING ABOUT OTHER PPLS OCS THATS MY FAVORITE THING TO READ FROM MY FRIENDS #like you could dm me at 4 in the morning to talk about your ocs i would be so happy #altho fair warning i can suck at dms bc im an anxious little chihuahua so if ur gonna add me i must warn u. i text back 5 years later #either i send 200 messages in the span of 5 minutes or you wont hear from me until we're both 30. sorry thats just the autism for u #BUT YEAH if anyone wants to add me they can #this fandom is like the only fandom in the world im comfy with interacting with LMAO #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts

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boxwinebaddie · 1 month

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Hi Uncle Nina !!

I don't wanna clog your ask box with stupid shit but this is stupid shit but it was also my bday on the thirteenth so shjdjdjs

As a fellow Monster addict ( I got a flat of Monster for my bday and collect the cans I have 30 diff ones so far <3 ) I need to know what Stan's favourite is

And on the less stupid side of things I was also hoping to potentially hear more about Stan's trans journey/Kyle finding out Raven is trans

Also I'm sorry your job has been so stressful lately :(( I hope you have a good day 🧡

- Stan 🧡

hi orange heart stan! <3

it's so good to hear from you, baby.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHSLAY, MY LOVE! i'm sorry i'm a little late, but you know me -- everything i do is fashionably late, darling. ;)

but also!!!!! call your wonderful, lovely ask message stupid shit again!!! see what happens!!! i'm gonna frown So WIDE, i'm gonna look so Upset. i'm going to hold you up to the sun!!! JUST WATCH!!!! >;/

my sweet stannie; you are a gift, a treasure. and your ask memes are a pleasure. i don't find them stupid in any shape or form, be nice. conversely, they are extremely special to me and it's why i put off writing this message for a little while because i wanted to respond to it thoughtfully, seeing as though it's your bday message.

which, *cracks knuckles* to get the ball roooollling.

i can absolutely tell you what monster energy is stan's favorite, but as a bday bonus, bc i wasn't sure which stan you wanted to know about, or if you wanted both: i'll give you both my style's fave monster flavs

and i was going to go into some ravenstan trans lore after that, but i feel like that info should go in it's own ask, yeah? i just don't want it to get cluttered. so if you feel so inclined, would you mind sending me a second anon where i can drop that info? thank you, baby! mwah

but now, w/o further ado...

please enjoy the most Refreshing part of your day <333

for context ( and actually because i got an anon once who wanted to know whether i drink energy drinks ), i don't really know that much about energy drinks/flavors because i don't really drink energy drinks.

i mean okay, i'm not really sure if it counts as an energy drink, but i will chug a guayaki yerba mate like it is the elixir of life. ( also i fully maintain that pep stan drinks the enlightenment flavor and ravenstan drinks the raspberry one -- crunchy eco kings ) my favorite one is the passion terrere one. it's like the only one that doesn't come in a can and only comes in a glass bottle...that ice cold passion terrere mate in the glass...it hits so different than the can...oh my god. so good.

and as far as monsters go, i pretty much only drink pipeline punch bc i'm a pretty pink princess and that's what hot girls drink <3 but other than that i drink black coffee because i am an exhausted teacher girlie, but that's purely for fuel. to be honest, i rarely drink energy drinks just for fun, i only have caffeine to stay upright.

which isn't a great idea...but...i am not a role model....

speaking of:

so i told riley this story the other day, bc i needed to get her brilliant genius girl insight on energy drink flavors because she is the sugar free energy queen ( riley's answer was kyle x ultra strawberry dreams and stan x ultra mango fiesta, which, everyone say thank u riley <3 )

-- also god if you are real, bring back the watermelon lime venom you discontinued, you sick fuck, it was riley's favorite, thank you for giving us lovely orange heart stan, and fuck you very much for making ME, bitch! come on down, king! you won't! why the fuck would you extend my coworkers vacation! fight me, ugly!!!! --

and i was telling her about how i am the chaotic kenny friend, i make really bad, chaotic decisions, have no self preservation, hype and gas up my extremely bad ideas and convince myself i'm big brain, wow.

and...oof. so like 2-3 years ago during finals week, i had a fuck ton of essays and projects due ( i was a very bad student btw which is funny bc i'm a teacher ) and no idea how i was gonna do them, so i had the Brilliant Idea...to buy three Random bang energy drinks...

AND SHOTGUN ALL OF THEM BACK TO BACK LIKE BEER CANS.

ohhhhhhhhhhhh my god, party girl nina. help. crying.

and yknow, i thought this was such a good idea! i was like wow i'm gonna be so awake, i am going to b invincible.

i....was not Invicible. i was...very, very sick. i was like almost catatonic and shaking on the floor of my dorm bathroom, lmao. i had to have my roomate take a picture of me on the floor and text all my teachers what happened, which, thank god they were all really nice and laughed but...i feel like that tells you everything you need to know about me...people who think i'm their hero...i am a fucking idiot.

but!! BUUUUTTT! just for You, baby. i deep dived a lot of forums and read a lot about the flavor profiles and think...i made a pretty accurate assertion of what my kid's energy drink preferences are <3

me: paris hilton pipeline punch bc i am bad as hell ;)

stan the man with the plan: okay, so i think that pep stan is definitely that ultra paradise monster energy. it just seems really crisp, clean, earthy. stan also doesn't really care for sweets or sugar, so it makes sense to me that he would be drinking a zero sugar monster ( kyle is disgusted ) idk the kiwi, lime, cucumber flavor profile just feels like pep stan. please tell me you can see the vision, help.

kyle pile: hmmm...so what i've concluded with my research is that kyle pile probably likes that pacific pipeline monster that seems to taste like fruit punch <3 it has to be the full sugar ones because of his blood sugar and stan does kind of scold kyle for drinking them bc he's not really supposed to and he gets really cracked out ahdslkshd like he's really cute but stan is like oh my god bro you gotta lay down but yeah i think that one or the orange dreamsicle one, which is hilarious because the only foods stmwtp canonically does not like are pickles and artifical orange flavoring...he really loves kp.

raven: soooooo i know that i said pep stan was the mango loco monster energy, BUT RAVENSTAN IS LITERALLY THE MANGO LOCO MONSTER ENERGY LIKE HELLO??? also i feel like he is like those mexican dads that put a little tajin in whatever they're eating and act like they've invented fire heeeeeelp ravenstan is so the dad that cuts u up fruit into little shapes and pus tajin on them and feeds u them when ur sad <333 luv u raven ;-; <3 but yeah i feel like he full on turns it into a raspado its so unserious sometimes theres a shot in there, it's usually the spicy tamarind smirnoff vodka,

...what can i say my man is a visionary and i see it

jersey: oooookaaaaay. so...sigh. for Obvious Reasons, pre and during rm, because of kyle's ed, he only drinks the sugar free monsters. for energy because he's exhausted ( my baby </3 ) but i also do think he thinks they taste good. i think he fucks with that ultra watermelon flavor that just tastes like the most beautiful, delectable, mouth watering liquid watermelon candy ever. i also think he could rock with the strawberry or the peach one sounds dank.

if the watermelon one isn't there it does stress him out, but he has a mental list of what one is next on the tier list, and acts accordingly. its kind of a nice change of pace but...his brain does not think that. however, when kyle is healing, weirdly enough, i think he ACTUALLY LIKES???? those coffee flavored ones??? which is Insane and everyone including tweek points and laughs at him

i hope...that suffices? you're totally welcome to offer me what you think is the right answer: you're the monster expert, after all. but this is what i feel in my heart! i think it feels accurate but, lmk! :')

and also...speaking of my job. UUUUUUGH. thank you baby. :((( i am actually criminally depressed because my fucking HOE-WORKER fucking extended his vacation ONE MORE WEEK! so i have to cover all his shifts for an extra week while he's on vacation. so that means i don't get to watch my testing accommodation kids who i miss very much, i still don't get his kinder reccess shift and literally??? spring break is next week like he couldn't WAIT???? holy fuck i'm Sad. :(

but i will be fine darling. but it's actually why i wanted to see if you could send me another anon so i can use that anon to talk about trans stan journey stuff? i just don't want it to get lost in this post and also, i'm not in great spirits rn and don't want to answer it until i can write something that's not flaming garbage.

but happy late birthday baby, i'm so glad you were born. <333

-uncle nina, monster shot gun queen

p.s. what is your favorite monster energy? :)

#BB IF YOU CALL YOUR MESSAGE STUPID ONE MORE TIME #I AM GOING TO PUT YOU IN SO MANY BLANKETS AND FEED YOU SO MANY SNACKS AND BRAID UR HAIR #KNOCK IT AWHFF!!!!!!#you are so loved and this was no stupid at all and i actually had a lot of fun reading all about all the monster flavors #i'm sorry if its not totally accurate i did my best #i'm sorry the green one is so much more pep stan #and the mango loco one is actually raven #like thats just the right answer #ravenstan drinking the mango loco monster w the tajin rim...like he's kind of a genius oh my god #him turning them into a cursed mixed drink is foul tho i just know his head hurts after that #i cant believe i had jersey likes the coffee ones that is so foul #but him drinking the no sugar ones and drinking the candy flavored ones bc he is like 7 years old #theyre so cute lkahdkshd also kyle pile also likes the cherry blade lemonade bang energy that feels right to me #BUT YEAH I HOPE THIS MADE YOU SMILE #TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK HAHA #also sorry i didnt give you the Serious answer in that post but ravens trans journey is really important to me #and i really want to honor that and not rush it or write it when i am in a bad mood...ill make it worth it for you my love #but uuuugh no im in such a bad mood like im actually so frustrated like this is just not fair to me #me n the older kids are starting to kind of be alright but it kind of ebbs and flows like its better somedays and worse others #but they are stuck with just me for another week so were managing tbh my coworker was dad and im mom basically #im more like stepmom and they dont really like me bc ur not my real mom but like at least im nice lmao #but yeah happy birthday baby hope you enjoyed this and i will get you the answers you seek very soon mWAAAAH #also not me shotgunning 3 bang energies and throwing up and having to have my friends email my professors #when i tell you im not a role model i mean that i am a joke i make such bad decisions #live fast die young bad girls do it well

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iceeericeee · 5 months

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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

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everymlmhybrid · 4 months

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this part genuinely makes me feel like eating dry wall like i can't explain how i feel about it without making some of you finally tire of me and block me about it i think

#.txt #reservoir dogs -#sorry for just randomly posting clips . i was actually working on my vid i swear but then i started Thinking. and here we are.#anyways going genuinely insane in the tags . i'm so sorry. ->#(im only sorry for the sheer amount of tags or if u disagree w/ my interpretations / headcanons. if ur just annoyed lmfao sucks to be you!)#anyways. you guys ever think abt the way orange HAS TO know white's lying to him abt his odds of survival.#bc i think abt that genuinely constantly. all the time thinking about it.#also the ''joe's gonna get you 100% again'' -> first of all . lol. second of all -> ''he was the only one i wasn't 100% on'' hello? HELLO!!#also freddy's voice here makes me feel like punching walls . like it makes me wail in anguish.#no but yeah i think abt the theme of lying & the fact some of the first lies we hear are in this scene in a way #also this part is leaning wayyy harder on headcanon but i always think. like if orange WASNT lying abt who he is. then it'd be reasonable #forhim to not know how likely he is to die and/or how blatantly larry's lying (''i'm talking days!'') but as a cop he SOOO knows he's fcked #but like . what's he gonna do. ''hey i know that's bullshit'' like obviously not and partly bc of How he knows but also bc like #you just don't argue with the only guy who's caring for you while you're seemingly on the brink of death!! LMAO #and certainly not when he's the only one telling you you'll be fine!! even if he's just bullshitting you so you don't freak out!!#I DON'T KNOW i go kinda insane about this scene . as . you can tell.#if you too are insane about this and the implications . don't worry. in several months. my fic will feed you. you will see.#idk . larry lying to and/or for him <33333333 kinda makes me go insane. kinda makes me go wild.#idk. i should be getting ready for bed rn. WHATEVER. bye. logging off. if you read all these i'm in love with you okay #i've just been turngin them around in my head like a microwave for hours so i needed to infodump or else i would explode i think

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steelycunt · 1 year

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I’m not saying that a lot of Regulus fans are only interested in him because they picture him as a Timothee Chalamet insert and wouldn’t give half a fuck about the character if that fancast didn’t exist but… oh wait that is what I’m saying.

yeah i mean. i definitely think there's something in that lol honestly. as ive said before i never really got the interest in regulus i just couldnt care less about the guy he genuinely has zero canon character but. simultaneously i can see how the little that we do know about him makes him an interesting character and i can see why people enjoy the idea of him as a blank slate that you can superimpose nearly any traits you want on to--treating regulus as essentially an oc gives you lots of room for creation. its for these exact reasons that he is of no interest to me personally, and i really don't like the common conceptualisation of him that has emerged from popular headcanon consensus (especially when it involves stripping his character of all agency and half the things that could arguably make him compelling in order to gloss over the fact that he was a death eater) but thats a matter of opinion i suppose. thats a me problem. its just not my cup of tea.

the timothee chalamet thing irritates me for the same reason the ridiculous instagram model/influencer/celebrity fancasts for most characters irritate me, because one of the ONLY things we know about regulus is that he is 'less handsome than sirius'. like ok why not work with that. especially with a character like him where there is virtually nothing to work with. like please explain to me why you refuse to accept that im genuinely curious. why is that the aspect of his character you are so firmly refuting lol.

all in all, if the character is only likeable or interesting or a convincing love interest if you have to pretend they were actually super conventionally attractive, maybe they're just not that likeable or interesting or well-suited to the character you're trying to pair them off with. its a personal thing again i am just not interested in reading/writing about a cast of characters who are all meticulously tailored to conform to beauty standards i do not respect. the minute u try to convince me all your characters are super hot n yassified it all feels less real to me sorry i care less about them. im bored of hot characters i think all fictional characters should be made to look like normal everyday people and i think everyone should be less afraid of so-called ugliness i triple dog dare u

#the 'you' here is just a general vague you btw it is not directed towards any one person and obviously not you anon we're in agreement #and reading it back i fear i may come off a little more aggressive than i intended so psa this is all my opinion like. do what you want #i am not the final word on this issue or any other. i am just a guy no 1 is obligated to listen to me if they dont want to. except about r #anyway remember talking to liv about the whole regulus thing and how. the personality that has been invented for him just seems like #people were bored of r/s they wanted something like r/s but new so they superimposed remus' personality onto him and then added a #few bits of sirius. and this is all me ranting about my opinion mindlessly now but i think #its reflected in those stupid terrible incorrect quote joke posts and how you see one of them where its remus and sirius and then see the #exact same post remade except remus has been changed to regulus and sirius has been changed to james. like yeah because regulus #is just a carbon copy of remus except if he was goth lol. we've done this one before its the same thing #and absolutely regulus can be done well and absolutely i am not a definitive judge of what is 'doing regulus well' just as no one else is #but i think if u want to do regulus well u have to make him less likeable. like he cant be ur soft loveable fav. girl he was a death eater #same as i think the whole barty / evan / regulus / pandora gang is just people refurbing the marauders. same thing different colour #anyway. i feel about regulus the same way i feel about dorcas or mary or marlene. they are not really characters #they dont have any definitive canon traits and i am not really interested in creating ocs. but other people might love that idea!#which is fine!#whew. love it when i get asks about things im scared to talk about of my own accord like i cant get in trouble if you guys asked me first x #anon #telegram #the brothers black #also girls he is a product of generation after generation of inbreeding. the black family should look like the windsors sirius was an #outlier.#oh also sorry i thought i was done but i want to clarify that i am no way saying you cannot be interested in morally grey characters or #find them compelling. instead what i am trying to say is that pretending a morally grey character actually isnt morally grey #in order to justify the fact that you are interested/fond of/compelled by them is boring and a disservice to your fav. hope that makes sens #within what we do know about regulus there are things that make him GOOD but not really anything that makes him likeable. and so much #of popular headcanon seems to be bestowing a ton of likeable traits upon him in order to redeem him despite there being no canon basis 4 it #like. we know regulus was a death eater 'it wasnt his decision he was forced into it!' we know regulus was less handsome than sirius 'no he #wasnt he was also super hot!' do you see what you're doing. you're losing me.

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milfygerard · 4 months

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sometimes i go thru the gaylor tag to see updates or reactions or something and its so funny everytime. You people are insane i respect literally none of you etc etc

#barry.txt #taylor swift #NOTE: THIS IS COMING FROM AN RPF FREAK WHO COULD FEASIBLY IMAGINE TAYLOR SWIFT EATING PUSSY #HATERS IM SORRY BUT THIS ISNT FOR YOU. YOU WILL NOT EARN MY SYMPATHY. anyway #i think i just get really frustrated when a fanbase gets so caught up in itself it cant remember how like....people work #or how relationships function even celebrity ones #i have spent lots of time and energy watching how people react and listening to people talk about relationships and so im annoying abt it #kaylors bless ur hearts im glad ur having fun but posts about their secret relationship make me autism angry #i was THERE for the kaylor divorce. ive listened to evermore more time than id like to admit. theyve at most made an effort to mend a bridg #that baby is a kushner and to imply otherwise is either short sighted or genuinely concerning depending on how deep and intense #the theory is #i think part of the problem is that it forces me to interact w the wider swiftie fandom at large which is a no go zone #i have my circle of blogs i respect even if i find all discussion of travis kind of boring and whenever i try to step out of it #i just end up frustrated #stop trying to prove things! you will never prove things! we dont know her!#i also disagree w lots of the general lyrical analysis but thats not anger i respect the readings they just arent mine #but yeah whatever. script doctoring a niche subset of one of the biggest fandoms on earth. i cant help myself!#none of this applies to you if ur 15 or whatever but i do implore that you not waste all ur time on dumb celebrity theories #and go do anything else

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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 4 months

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All this hate for show Annabeth is getting really fucking annoying

#pjo #pjo tv show #like. genuinely just admit ur a racist and leave #‘I’m so sad that she isn’t a beautiful blonde princess and sweet and nice like she was in the books’ DID WE READ THE SAME BOOKS #ANNABETH WAS A BITCH #She’s arrogant and cutting and mean and also so fucking brave and smart and funny #like it took her half the quest to warm up to Percy #and even once she did her first response a couple of times #when he asked her questions #was ‘none of your business’ cause she’s had a difficult life ok!! she doesn’t trust easily!#just. leave her fucking alone. the actress is doing a phenomenal job #portraying a really complex character #I’m so so so sorry she’s not white. get the fuck over it.#thanks!#and it’s crazy to me that people aren’t complaining about the more important problem with the show: Grover isn’t fucking eating tin cans #and tablecloths. when is he gonna chew on a can. I Deserve my pica representation.#I’m posting this here cause I can’t reply to the comment on Reddit cause I’ll go insane arguing with someone that stupid #it’s just crazy how people will read the same books as u and somehow have missed every single fucking point from it #“Annabeth is an absolutely know-it-all child and a rude and snotty kid”’#yeah. what about it. did u read the books. she’s a child of Athena. like. are u STUPID #Mr fantastic mango. are u just a fucking idiot #delete later #I’m sorry about this rant guys

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yourclownpal · 5 months

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sometimes im sad and then i look at the muppets and i am no longer sad

feat. my sillys : -3

#life hack!! muppets make your brain like itself again!#also the fraggles i feel like i should say #especially the fraggle's for me but im using muppets as a catch-all term for the jim Henson puppets #kinda #cuz i mostly mean the muppets and fraggle rock #but im using cuz i believe that everyone can get at least a little happiness from like any jim Henson puppet #like even the dark crystal puppets ofc #and like in this tangent im using fraggle's as a shorter way to say the entire shows name!#but ofc i mean the gorgs n doozers n like sprocket too i guess yk?#ok im ending that tangent to tangent somewhere else #idk i can only tangent like this in the tags #but like i cant post it if im not doing this in the tags like im whispering out into the void instead of yelling it #i just cant get myself to post normally #im just weird #im a weirdo #/ref #ok yeah if u read this ur cool #u get a cookie or smth 🍪#also boober n lew Zealand are here #because i love them #and idk if that says anything abt me or not #wait the cookie bit was meant to be the end of this #so like I actually rlly hope people read this #because like i feel like me just saying mulpets #and then showing a photo of boober FRAGGLE is like weard?#idk tho omg this is why i can never properly post on here #because i overthink everything #its too late now im posting this as is

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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

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okay, so in the vein of writing again ft. someone asking me for peppermint content, i thought i'd share this which i wanted to tack onto the end of chapter nine of pep ( where dying lovesick stan shows up on wendy's doorstep & #bendy rehabilitates bender!stan ) but that chapter was too long and i was unsure about it...

but i mentioned ravenstan's upper, inner thigh sh scars and that's an important universal headstannon to me...which i actually wrote extensively about bc of how important it is to me </3.

-- so given that i'm not posting, i felt like i should share it w/ you. :')

it's not style...per say, but it is platonic soulmate stendy and goes into stan's sh journey. there is some triggering imagery, so tw for obvious mention and discussion of self harm, suicidal ideation and a heavy blood tw, also i wrote this five months ago so be nice to me, but! ya!

tldr; i love you pep stan <3 hope you heal, baby <333

“But….Wait, Stan, there's something…”

Wendy squinted suspiciously at Stan's clavicle where right next to that faint tracheotomy scar that Kyle had made saving Stan's life, was a mark that was not made for business, but for pleasure. She ran her finger along it agonizingly, expression starting to simmer with discomfort.

“...On your neck.”

Her previously playful expression had dissolved into dead seriousness. She looked cautiously over Stan's shoulder at Bebe, who was completely distracted, shooting the shit with the Postmates delivery driver.

“You’re not…” Her voice was a horrified whisper.

“You’re not h u r t i n g yourself again, are you?”

And the very first time that day, intrepid, unbreakable Wendy Testaburger looked truly terrified.

Because Stanley Marsh was a product of harm...

And he harmed himself.

/ ***

With expensive kitchen knives that would go missing after the dishes were done, with cheap corner-store razors that cut more than just his hair, with too-hard, touchdown technical tackles, with the lighters whose artificial flame was the warmest touch he'd felt all week, with potent liquid poisons,

with words,

with w o r d s.

Stan's alcoholism was a poorly kept secret because he was loud about that one as a decisive diversion tactic. But he was dead silent about his self-harm. Dead. Silent. When you drank, you looked cool, you made people laugh and everyone liked you. But if you hurt yourself in an ugly, disquieting way, you didn't look cool, people didn't laugh and everyone hated you. That was Stan's worst fear: that people would grow to hate him as much as he hated himself.

Perfect Boy Next Door, High School Quarterback, Prom King, It Boy, Small Town Treasure Stanley Randall William Marsh had a disgusting secret and while it was hard to hide with the hungry eyes of everyone you knew on you at all times, Honest Stan learned how to lie.

And well.

It was a secret he kept from everyone. He had fooled his whole family, blindsided his best friends, even Kyle. Especially Kyle. His favorite person on planet Earth, who he was scared would find him so monstrously hideous and disfigured that he would never speak to him again in horror and disgust.

This list of people Stan had lied to also regrettably included his long term girlfriend, who knew the back of his hand better than her own.

Wendy Testaburger was summertime fine. She was as scary as she was smokin' hot. A regulation South Park High babe and betty.

Given even the whisper of a chance to sleep with her, people would go to war, but the second Wendy tried to take off Stan's pants he waved the white flag and floored it. Cartman and Kenny gave him regular onslaughts of shit about having the hottest girlfriend in the world and never nailing her, but he always insisted that they were just "waiting for the right moment."

But that moment would never come.

Because Stan wouldn't let her see.

Wendy couldn't know.

No one could ever know.

So, horny teenage boy Stan, who was actually quite skilled at baseball, never got past second base. Well, on him anyways.

He did a n u m b e r of scandalous things to Wendy, but he never let her return the favor. Ever. And more notably, he'd done all those sexually deviant things almost completely clothed. Stan nearly never took his pants off, so if you caught him in his boxers, it was high praise because that was a serious undertaking. A mishap that usually only happened when he wasted and even then, his guard was up enough that his pants never came down.

Until one day when they were sixteen. It was their anniversary and Wendy had given Stan a little card with five things on it: an address, a room number, a key card, a time and a magenta lipsticked kiss as a signature. Strawberry Seduction. Wendy's favorite.

And Stan had just hoped to take Wendy around the hotel gift shop, hit the arcade while Wendy got her nails done, eat at the fancy French restaurant and soak in the hot tub until they were both gross and pruny. But Wendy...had a different idea. Because when Stan finally flung open that hotel door, holding a teddy bear and a bouquet of roses, Wendy was waiting for him...in bed, in lacy lingerie, staring seductively, sinfully strawberry scented.

Stanley Marsh was living every South Park high school student's wet dream and it was his fucking nightmare.

Which quickly escalated as Wendy tried to rip all of Stan's clothes off and backed against a wall, Stan had front-flipped over her shoulder before locking himself in the hotel bathroom.

It was the worst fight Stan and Wendy had ever had.

And they had had it between a bathroom door.

At the emotional end of it, Wendy's throat was raw from screaming, her eyes were raw from crying and her heart was raw from trying and trying and trying as she yelled: "Is some sick joke to you? Am I a fucking joke to you, Stanley? Why won't you let me touch you? WHY? Are you fucking with me? Are you using me for something? For my body?! Or is it because you think I'm ugly? Is that why you won't sleep with me? Is it because I'm some kind of horrible monster?"

To which Stan promptly unlocked the door and stepped out.

"No, it's me. I'm the monster."

And the only sound that interrupted that insidious silence was the sound of a complementary hotel razor falling out of Stan's shaky, bloodstained hand and clambering to the floor.

Because Stan was completely naked, vulnerable and exposed in a way that he had never been with anyone else before. And every square inch of skin on Stan's legs that could be covered with a pair of boxers or swim trunks was marred with an hideous white scar, which stood out starkly against Stan's skin, jagged and odious. Save for one. It was brand new and the blood it beckoned ran down Stan's naked leg and shallowly pooled by his left foot.

But Stan didn't faint. No, the ironic and heartbreaking twist that Stan's fear of blood took was this: He only fainted when it was somebody else's blood. When someone else was bleeding, it devastated Stan, but when he was bleeding, it d e l i g h t e d him.

It was his only way out.

Wendy had finally seen it. His secret. He looked as ugly on the outside as he felt on the inside.

And he figured she would point and laugh, run or hide. But she just threw her arms around him and held him. And after a long pause, simply said. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen."

Sixteen year old Stanley Marsh did not have wild, crazy, animal style sex with his girlfriend that night. But she did give him a bath, where she lovingly lifeguarded him, washed away all the blood and tears, threading her hands through his hair, baptizing him for new beginnings.

She wrapped his wound up with gauze and sealed it with a Strawberry Seduction kiss before Wendy dressed Stan to the nine's in her oversized Nasty Woman sleep shirt and pink fuzzy pajama pants before they climbed into bed, without a note of sexual innuendo.

Stan did not smash his super sexy significant other on the night of their anniversary, but they did share uncomfortable silences, cry cathartically, talk for hours, devour room service breakfast for dinner, laugh at stupid game shows on the dinky hotel tv and start some Matt Damon movie that they'd never finished because they had accidentally fallen asleep, ironically, during the romantic part.

And since that day, Stan has been two years sober from cutting.

But when his father screams in his face, Stan notices that his pocket knife glitters golden in the low light. Or one particularly bad days, when Stan is shaving his face, he holds the razor blade a little too long over his carotid artery.

When that happens, Stan puts the weapon down and texts Wendy, who always talks him off the ledge.

And while the past two weeks had been absolute hell, Stan had not broken his promise to Wendy on the night of their anniversary.

Stan had not hurt himself.

Not with a b l a d e at least.

/ ***

He shook his head adamantly.

“No! No, nothing like that. I promise.” He met Wendy's frightened eyes earnestly, before smiling at the ghost of a memory. He looked a little embarrassed as he traced the line. Man-made. But not by him. “Kyle actually left that…when we kissed the other night. He got me pretty good, but you should see the other guy.”

Stan winked charmingly, disarmingly, but Wendy's guard never fell.

“Okay, but you’d tell me if you were. You’d --You’d tell me if you felt like you wanted to again…” She insisted, her words desperate and haunted. Wendy's grip tightened as her voice came undone.

“S t a n . You’d tell me, right?”

Stan smiled softly and knowingly.

“Of -- Of course, Wen.” He coaxed gently, carefully detaching her fingers from his forearm and placing the softest kiss there.

“You’re my girl.”

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