Hmmm. thinking about overshot….

I’m Moving to a Bigger City to “Follow My Dreams”!

Over the years that I have been a stand-up comedian and people have found out about it, I have heard all the positive general sayings that you can hear: from “it’s great you’re following your dreams!” to “one day I’ll see you on TV” to “you have to move to New York or L.A. to make it.” These are all nice sentiments but they also echo a continued misconstruction of what it means to be in entertainment and a creative person. These misconstructions are seen both inside and outside of comedy and likely in other arts and walks of life as well.

I was as successful as a “local comedian” could possibly get in my first year doing stand-up comedy. I won the “Funniest Person in Columbus” contest at the Columbus Funny Bone and the “Funniest Person in Cincinnati” contest at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati. Within nine months, I was hosting a weekend at a comedy club. I was a professional making money being a comedian in less than a year which seems unthinkable now. I knew I loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to make it a career and have some kind of impact in a form of entertainment I always admired.

After a few years of living in Columbus, I wanted to move. I felt that was the best idea for my future in comedy and having a career, the purposes of creativity, and my own personal growth. I had spent my whole life in Ohio and my personality has always wanted to experience more parts of the country and the world and types of people.

After visiting San Francisco, I enjoyed the city and its comedy scene a lot. This is something that usually happens for everyone. It’s not shocking to leave a city you’re accustomed to where you see the same people and go to a bigger city and find it eye-opening as I did with San Francisco. It was a walkable city, I loved its public transportation and its weather, it had a bunch of different shows, a talented group of comedians, and a great comedy history as a city.

I started to put the plans in place to have enough money saved to move in 2011 but then I had a health issue come up. Had I not had health insurance from my employer, I would have had to pay thousands of dollars. The cost would have derailed me. Due to the seriousness of the issue, with both fear and a lack of confidence, I stayed at my job and never made that move.

I continued to live in Columbus. I could have been angry about not being able to move (and perhaps I personally was) but I never expressed that publicly. Each year that I remained in Columbus I saw creative improvement. Even if I was stressed out by trying to handle a job where I was being assigned more responsibility and comedy where I was gaining more responsibility in a scene, I saw the positives to both and tried what I could to focus on being as best as I could be.

I was going on the road. I was performing in comedy clubs. I was starting to do corporate events. I was creating quality shows in the city that I lived in and proud to be a part of a scene with other talented people that are now some of my best friends. I was being a professional comedian and creator even if it meant still having a job unrelated to comedy.

I made a couple visits to Los Angeles and I similarly enjoyed the vibe of comedy in the city. I had a number of friends in comedy doing well there. I had family there. After I recorded my album at the Columbus Funny Bone in Spring 2015, I didn’t feel like there was anything more for me to accomplish in the city that built my comedy. Most of my generation of comedians had left. A new generation of comedians emerged. It was time for me to move on and it was amazingly feasible because my company allowed me to keep working for them even in L.A. The time and hard work in Columbus paid off. I became a better comedian, better show organizer, better business person, and earned enough credibility with the company I work for to keep a job that I also enjoy doing.

Here’s me in some parking lot in Indiana on my way to L.A. waving goodbye to Columbus. 

People equate moving to L.A. with “trying to make it” or becoming famous and, sure, that’s likely why most people are here. I just wanted to continue my path in creativity and in comedy with more challenges and with the same upward trajectory I’ve had since winning those contests in the first year. I feel I’m doing that in the now 2 1/2 years in L.A. If a regular job in comedy or some degree of fame comes with it, that would be nice. If it doesn’t, at least I’m personally satisfied with how I worked at comedy.

When I lived in Columbus, there was such an emphasis on moving away if you had talent. You weren’t truly going to “make it” in Columbus and that may be but that’s also dependent on each individual’s notion of what “making it” is. As a result, this kind of geographical inferiority was stuck in my already self-destructive mind as well. But, as time has passed, I think that idea speaks more to others’ misconceptions that Los Angeles or New York are the only places where entertainment and creativity would be at and to me succumbing to these misconceptions at a young age. In comedy, we make out “moving away” to be some kind of accomplishment and it’s not really. It was a personal accomplishment for me to move to L.A. because I always wanted to live somewhere other than Ohio and it took being 30 years old for me to be able to afford and be mentally prepared for it. But just moving to another city means nothing. It’s nice for people from where you’ve lived to cheer you on, it’s certainly a step towards something else and a life change, but it’s not some “end all, be all” to success in comedy or happiness.

A new city, in fact, just brings about a new load of problems and determining how you get through those. But I liked that. I wanted that challenge. I didn’t mind spending my first 6 months in L.A. weaving through the open mics to figure out which were worth my time. I like the experience of it all. I like the creative progression. And, sure, I’m now in L.A. so hopefully the talent and hard work will lead to more opportunities in comedy so other people will think I’ve “made it.”

So many people have said to me over time that they’re glad I’m “following my dreams.” I appreciate that but the manner in which we perceive dreams can be different. For me, my dream in the first few years relied all on comedy success. Any accomplishment I had in comedy from getting booked by a club to having a newspaper write about me to being on the radio would be what drove my happiness. Then I realized that wasn’t actually how I felt or wanted to feel and wasn’t healthy for me. I recall a few months before moving to L.A. which was at a time when Louis C.K. was the most popular comedian in America, I asked myself, “If you were Louis C.K., would you be happy?” And I realized I wouldn’t be. All that fame, money, and appreciation of that magnitude wasn’t really what I wanted out of comedy and I felt it certainly shouldn’t be the driving force behind my personal happiness. Of course, other people do want that. And, definitely, most people believe that is what every entertainer wants. At least personally, if that level of fame is what drove me, then for me nothing in life would ever be enough and I’d constantly live in misery. Also, there are so many factors involved in and so few people able to reach such an apex.

I realized that my happiness in comedy and how I wanted to do it was the most important thing. That’s one factor in why I stopped drinking alcohol and continue to make certain decisions in life with an emphasis on my happiness. I yearned for the challenges that came with comedy, the expansion of my creativity, an advancement in professionalism, and personal contentment with my work and I wanted to do that on a bigger scale. That’s why I moved to Los Angeles. That’s probably not why most people do or how most people perceive such a move. And, at 30 with where I was in life and in comedy, I also felt if I didn’t try it, I’d regret it. And if I do leave L.A. at some point, it’s not because I “failed” or I didn’t “make it.” Just in the same way, if I had stayed in Columbus, I would not somehow be less of a comedian because I don’t live somewhere bigger or “better.” I’ve put myself into a position where any geographical decision I make is because I want to continue the positive trajectory and happiness of my life and comedy.

Over the years that I wanted to move, I gleaned from the comedians who were friends who I also looked up to about when, how, and if I should move. Not surprisingly, those friends continue to do well in comedy as do I following a certain philosophy. I don’t expect everyone to follow that. But I also think it was worth writing this for those maybe not in the biggest or most recognized cities to glean from someone who has been there if they want to. You’ll know when it’s the right time to move and there’s nothing wrong with where you’re at as long as you’re doing your best to maximize the opportunities and your ability where you’re at. And, perhaps, sometimes you need to take a hard look at the mirror and ask yourself if your frustration with where you’re at is more related to you than your location.

People make a big deal about cities in comedy. Sure, it matters in some ways. In most ways, it doesn’t. It definitely should not affect your personal self-worth or your value as a comedian. You are not the city you live in or the city you want to move to no matter how others perceive it. You are not other people’s definition of “making it” or of “dreams.” Your path in comedy is what you wish to make it with the circumstances you have. Mine led me to Los Angeles after 9 years in Columbus and who knows where it will lead next? But the point here is that, as it turns out, my “making it” or “dreams” in comedy ultimately were personal happiness and inner peace and I am accomplishing that and I definitely have to work my ass off in a variety of ways to continue to accomplish that. That wasn’t dictated by being in Columbus or in L.A. but by what I have done when in those places. And, to me, personal happiness and inner peace are far more valuable than a late night TV credit. Of course, I am still hoping to get a late night TV credit. I mean, I’m still a damn comedian.