lost by linkin park is by no means like an upbeat song but i just smile through the whole thing every time i listen to it bc it's so good???? it's so??????? i love hearing it as an adult. i love picturing 12 year old me listening to the song if it had actually come out with meteora. i speed run the fanfic 12 year old me would've written with this song. it's just so!!!!!! a lot!!!!! everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Linkin Park Retrospective Part 6: The EPs

I can’t listen to One More Light yet. Don’t have it in me to tackle that. So instead, we’re going to cover the two EPs released by the band, Collision Course and Songs from the Underground.

Collision Course

…who’s idea was this?

Apparently MTVs, as part of an “Ultimate Mashups” series, though their involvement seemed mostly hands off. A 6-track Jay-Z/Linkin Park crossover album isn’t an idea I would have tried to sell, but Mike and Jay seem pretty into it based on the snippets of studio chatter you get in between tracks. The album opens with that, in fact- Chester (?) going “I ordered a Frappucino where’s my fuckin Frappucino?” is certainly one way to start things off.

I’m just going to make it clear now that I’ve never heard most of the Jay-Z tracks being mashed up here, so I can’t really comment on that end. As these tracks are mashups with songs I am quite familiar with, though, I can at least give some degree of assessment. And unfortunately, I’d argue Collision Course compares unfavourably to Reanimation as far as crossover albums go. Largely speaking the remixes done to the Linkin Park instrumentals are uninteresting, though they do match the new vocals done over the top of them, and Jay-Z is basically fine but not overwhelming.

I think my biggest issue with this album is that a bunch of the songs just drop just about everything new about them and are just the Linkin Park track for the last like minute or so- Dirt off your Shoulder/Lying from You, Jigga What/Faint, and Points of Authority/99 Problems/One Step Closer are all pretty guilty of this. That isn’t to say that the rest of these tracks aren’t good, but this in particular is a sticking point I couldn’t ignore.

Track-by-track, then. Dirt off your Shoulder/Lying from You is the most straightforward track on the whole project, and probably the biggest sufferer from eventually just being Lying from You (seeing as that’s kinda the worst of those three LP tracks). I have no idea whats going on in the instrumental from Big Pimpin’/Papercut, but the Papercut verse on top of that sounds just sort of weird- Jay-Z’s verse fits better, but also, that’s probably the one written for that instumental isn’t it. Jigga What/Faint is interesting, with the first half’s backing being a heavily remixed version of the verse instrumental from Faint, but a minute in it’s just Faint oops. With that said, Jays bars over that instrumental actually does fit pretty well.

I don’t know rap that well, I can’t really comment on the flow or anything, but while the vocals are new recordings, they are the same verses from the songs being mashed up, so some originality is lost there.

Numb/Encore is the one single from this album, and it’s definitely one of the better ones, yeah. You’ve got Mike and Jay both working together in bits, the remixed Numb instrumental feels like exactly the extrapolation you’d want for a track like this, and that “what the hell are you waiting foooooor” is super satisfying. Unlike some of the other tracks, the final bit (with Chester, yknow, doing Numb) maintains that remixed instrumental, making it stand out a bit better from the original versions, which is nice. However, Jay-Z basically just isn’t on the latter half of the track, making it extremely awkward when he did a live performance of it after Chester’s passing.

For a song called Encore, however, it’s a bit weird that it’s not the last track on the album.

Izzo/In The End opens with this really bright instrumental and Mike, thanking a live audience like it’s a concert, sure. It’s just super odd that this is the same song with the In the End vocals, the emotions not really fitting the fun of the instrumental and previous verse. It is performed significantly more light-heartedly, but it still feels like an odd fit. To be fair, though, I’m not sure what Hybrid Theory/Meteora era track would have worked better there, so fair play. The album ends with Points of Authority/99 Problems/One Step Closer, ther first half of which I actually think is better than Numb/Encore. It’s got an actual fresh verse from Mike over Points of Authority, and him doing the cop bit from 99 Problems’ pull over bit actually works super well. Unfortunately, when the instrumental switches over to One Step Closer, the song gets a bit worse- the mix on Jay-Z’s vocals is way too low for a lot of it, being drowned out by the instrumental most of the time, and the last minute is just One Step Closer again but also Jay-Z is occaisionally repeating the 99 Problems line. It’s a weak finish to an otherwise solid song and album.

 Songs from the Underground

Released in 2008, Songs from the Underground is a collection of tracks from Linkin Park Underground collated into an EP along with a couple of unreleased live recordings. Linkin Park Underground, or LPU, is the official fan club, which gets a yearly CD as part of membership that has assorted demos and live versions on it, which is where this EP pulls its tracks from- its also a set of CDs I desperately want to get my hands on but their limited nature makes their price obscene. I have managed to get LPU 9, which is the one I wanted most, but the remainder have eluded my grasp.

My precioussssssssssss

Side note, this album isn’t on spotify, and the only Youtube upload I could find was a shit recording, so you’re best off looking for each individually.

This compilation opens with Announcement Service Public (from LPU6), a pretty decent instrumental with Chester screaming unintelligibly in the background. This is more of a joke than anything- as the name suggests, it’s a PSA reversed, and reversing Chester’s vocals reveals he’s yelling a reminder to brush your teeth and wash your hands. I mean, I’ve been in an LP mosh once, and I can confirm that this was an announcement that needed making.

The second track QWERTY (LPU6), sounds like it wasn’t even written by Linkin Park, rather, one of their contemporaries. Allegedly, they wrote it on a long, long plane flight, which I could see- a non-studio environment leading to a more different track. Honestly, this could fit right on to Meteora, as much like Faint or Nobody’s Listening it’s a different take on the sound they’re known for. This one’s a lot of fun- the riffs are sick, and the chorus, if simple, is solid to sing along to. This deserves main album status.

And One is one of the tracks on this album that’s actually a rerecording off of the EP made by the band when Hybrid Theory was their name and not just their first album (though the EP was self-titled, so it’s pretty confusing). This album would later be rereleased as the first LPU, and then again (with an official video) along with the 20th anniversary edition of Hybrid Theory. And One is interesting, as it’s the first track recorded after Chester joined the band back in the day, and it’s so fucking edgy holy shit. I think it’s pretty decent, but unlike with QWERTY I’m kinda ok with this being a little by the wayside. With that said, I really like the little breakdown at the end, and the verse Mike is doing over it.

Sold My Soul to yo Mama (LP4) is a real track, huh. It’s a short, heavily electronic piece, ganking lyrics from Points of Authority and Papercut, but like, it’s mostly just Joe Hanh fucking around for 2 minutes. Not a huge fan of this one.

Dedicated (LP2) is another of this album’s better songs. It’s very Lose Yourself, that sort of emotional rap track about doing a rap track, and while obviously it’s not at the same level as that one it’s still excellent on its own. This is just such an excellent demo, one of Mike’s best performances- and considering he’s carrying it on his own (I’m not sure Chester’s even on this, unless those background aaaahs are him) that means a lot.

The next track is Hunger Strike, actually a live recording by Chris Cornell (of Soundgarden and Audioslave fame) with Chester as a feature. They were good friends, which is going to come up tragically when we get to One More Light. To be honest, though, this track kinda sucks dick. It is far from Chris’s best performance, nor Chester’s, and the instrumental is fucking boring. It picks up around the two minute mark, but at that point it just sounds like a bad Audioslave song, and I’m not really down for that, yknow. Just go listen to Like a Stone or Black Hole Sun again.

Another live recording is next, My December (a B-Side from One Step Closer, also on LPU2). My December is far from my favourite track- I think it’s kinda overdone, and this live version is so much worse. Look, it’s just Chester singing over someone (maybe him?) playing the song on piano? It doesn’t work, man. Not a fan.

The album’s final track is called Part of Me (HTEP/LPU1), and feels a lot like a better version of And One, if I’m honest. Mike’s actually going hard here in the verses, especially in the pre-chorus, and said chorus is actually pretty solid, even though the instrumental there is a little weak. It’s a slow, chugging song, heavily affected through Hahn’s DJing, that does do a nice little build to the track’s ending.

Except it doesn’t end, because there’s a hidden track in it. I don’t think this one has an official name anywhere, but it’s an electronic instrumental. It’s basically ok. Tangent, but I remember thinking when I was younger that if I was ever in a band, I’d want to write an electronic instrumental named Oxymoron- because of course, it wouldn’t have any real instruments in it.

That closes out Songs from the Underground, and I’ve never really broken it down in my head before, but it’s a lot more mediocre than I thought. The live songs are not good, and several demos or rarities that should have been on it absolutely weren’t- Across the Line, Drawing, A6, and where the fuck was High Voltage? Honestly, more of a miss than I remember. If I’m low on ideas, I might break down LPU9 individually, but I probably won’t spend any other time on LP demo stuff- I’m sure you’re sick to death of me talking about Linkin Park by now.

RIP Chester Bennington, thanks for everything

I'm just writing down my thoughts as I process my grief so it's probably going to be rough. Content warning for suicide and depression and I don't know how to tag shit I just wanna talk about Linkin Park for a fucking second.

For the past few years I've grown to stop caring about what others consider "guilty pleasures" because what's the fucking point. I love the things I love and I doubt that thinking the movie Rubber is fucking brilliant or listening to Ariana Grande is hurting anyone. At the same time, I never really gave that same respect to Linkin Park or at least I don't talk about how much I still love Linkin Park. It's kinda silly. A lot of us have collectively written off that point were we listened to Linkin Park religiously like it was just a footnote in our preteen and teenage years. We often looked back at their sincerity in expressing the how our teenage angst felt with ridicule for some reason. Yet they were such an important part of my childhood and as I've mentioned on Twitter and Facebook, if you don't mind me being a little hyperbolic, they might have saved my life. So I guess this is my thank you and goodbye letter. I hate this. I hate that I'm writing this. I've spent the last day retweeting every single Chester Bennington tweet that's appeared in my timeline, reading articles reflecting on Linkin Park's influence, and indulging myself in their discography including the 2014 and 2017 albums that I missed (I'm sorry Chester). And there was a lot of crying but that sort of comes with the territory between losing a childhood hero and hearing too-on-point lyrics about depression and trauma. Hybrid Theory and Meteora are maybe the two first albums I ever owned and I don't think it'd be unreasonable to say that Hybrid Theory is probably my most played album of all time. Like I don't know if I can say enough about how important Hybrid Theory is to my life. It was my gateway to all of the diverse genres of music I enjoy today. The Collision Course CD + DVD combo literally introduced me to Jay-Z and I’ve been a hip hop head since. I never would’ve gotten into classic rock and subsequently indie rock without Linkin Park. I never would’ve started listening to My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy without Linkin Park. I never would’ve started listening to electronic music if not for my interest in those “Mister Hahn” instrumentals/scratching demos. And I haven't seen this brought up much but I fucking LOVE how Linkin Park put Asian artists Mike Shinoda and Joe Hahn in the spotlight in so many of their songs. Most of all, Bennington's voice gave me a lot of the tools I needed to deal with the trauma happening in my own life and the vocabulary to understand the emotions I was feeling. I've come to really appreciate how Bennington turned every slight against him, every frustration he's felt, into something at least somewhat constructive. Maybe I'm projecting a bit here but I've always felt that his lyrics had this tinge of optimism. He blames others for the pain they caused him but ultimately angles himself towards moving past it and growing into a more fulfilled or more complete person. Sometimes out of spite. Sometimes in desperation. Or anger. Or sadness. This idea that you can refuse to perpetuate or participate in the cycle of abuse and hatred has kept me moving personally.

I've returned to Linkin Park several times over the course of my life and it was honestly kind of magical every time. It's always been a reminder like, "Hey, you used to be this unhappy and here you are: still alive." And because of that I guess I've taken for granted how long Chester Bennington was going to be around. Up until now, it's been so much fun popping in a Linkin Park playlist on a drive or checking to see whether they were still making music. None of their newer music has resonated with me as much as Meteora did but it was great to see them create new songs and evolve their sound. There's also just something wonderful about Bennington's voice that I've never been able to replicate nor do I have any fucking hope of replicating. Still, every time I do karaoke I have to do at least one Linkin Park song and I sing it with a shitty falsetto, strained screams, and unironic glee. I love this band. I remember when they were playing at Blizzcon I had so much fun singing along to the livestream. I wish I had been able to actually see them live. I wish the free show that's supposed to happen here in a few weeks... could've happened. Fuck. I'm fucking sad about this. I'm going to continue to be sad about this. I really feel like a close personal friend or a part of me or my childhood died. I mean a fucking childhood hero died. Most celebrity deaths don’t get to me but this one hurts my fucking heart so fucking much. It’s fucking tragic. Everything about this is tragic. Depression is fucking awful. I know things will get better and I'll feel more at peace about this eventually but I'm fucking miserable right now. Today has been easier than yesterday for sure and I imagine tomorrow will be slightly better as well. Hybrid Theory and Meteora are still fucking fantastic albums front to back. I'm putting Somewhere I Belong in my playlist rotation for the foreseeable future. I wish I could tell him how much he helped me become the person I am today. I’m probably gonna cry some more, drink a lot more, pour one out, and most importantly try to cope. Stay safe friends. Call, text, tweet at, dm, email, or whatever me if you wanna talk or cry. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline @ 1-800-273-8255 if you need more qualified help. If you're making shitty jokes about Chester Bennington's death go fuck yourself.

Tbh I still unironically love every Linkin Park album except for “One More Light”, that one is honestly just embarrassing