Going to Japan tomorrow 🙈

Learning To Live Frugally And Simplify

Admittingly, for a majority of my life I've wanted (longed for) a lifestyle I couldn't afford.  I dreamt of a life where I could make (many) spontaneous purchases without having to check my bank account first.  And no matter how hard I worked, I just couldn't achieve that goal.  In fact, quite the opposite.  The harder I worked, the more I felt I needed to "treat" myself and the more pressure I felt to own brand new, trendy things.  I even, at one point, had an ongoing list of items I wanted to buy as I could afford them.  Not helpful, necessary items - mostly home décor and clothing, jewelry, etc. (none of which I actually needed or had room for). And then, what should have been insignificant but were major to me, issues would happen.  They became major because I was living paycheck to paycheck.  My car needed work to the tune of $800, I needed a root canal that was going to cost me a few hundred dollars out-of-pocket, and the oven stopped working.  So although just over a thousand dollars is nothing to sneeze about, had I been living with a frugal mindset, this would have been a small speed bump.  Instead, it was a devastating road block.  I couldn't wait for the next couple of paychecks to scrape together the money.  Nope.  I needed it now.  It resulted in a lot of stress as I tried to figure out how in the world I was going to get everything paid for (and which credit cards had enough room to pay for which item). The feelings of shame, embarrassment and downright frustration came flooding to the forefront.  I knew I wasn't good with money, after all, I was handling it the way I had seen my parents handle it.  And although they made a lot more than we did at the time, they too had constant financial stress.  I knew something needed to change, but I didn't think I had the strength to change my path. This didn't happen once.  This was a vicious cycle I found myself in from the age of 18 until my mid thirties.  It continued to happen until I began to realize that not only did I have the strength to change my path but I had a responsibility to my future self. I wish I could say that once that lightbulb went off things were perfect.  Ahhh…..wouldn't that be lovely?  But you don't live your entire life one way, the same way you've watched your parents live, and then change everything overnight without any slip-ups.  Nope, it's not that easy.

Frugal Living Take One What I realized that I needed to do first was to make a list of goals.  Where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, how I wanted my life to look.  I needed something real to work toward.  I hated working for other people, I am just not a corporate, top-down, kinda girl.  That being said, I worked a corporate job, did my job dutifully and to the best of my ability, but in the back of my mind I couldn't wait to get out.  So, that became one of my goals.  Working for myself.  Owning a small homestead, creating our own business, growing much of what we eat, and living a more simple, intentional life was the start of my list. And I found the list was a great idea!  It helped me focus and pass on purchases that I previously would have made without any thought to the contrary.  I followed Dave Ramsey's "will this purchase help my future self?" thought process. And then I slipped up.  Stress was high at work, we began eating take-out regularly (I mean, who has the energy to cook after a stressful day at work? I reasoned....), and I made a quick stop at Target for 2 items where I made the mistake of walking through the entire store rather than leaving after I selected the 2 items.  Shopping can be like a high of sorts.  You feel anxious, you find an item that you "need" to update your home or your wardrobe, and you suddenly feel good.  And I did -- until I got home. "I can't do this" I told myself.  I threw my pity party (for the next few hours) before I got over myself and decided I would do better tomorrow. I continued to make a decision to stop trying to demonstrate my value through things that I own.  I began consciously ignoring the constant advertising of what I "needed" in my life.  I learned that if I wanted to stop being judged by what I had or didn't have, I too needed to stop judging.  I began to find the real me.

Frugal Living Take Two I just kept jumping back on the horse.  I was determined to get to the new version of my dream life and I was embracing what truly made me happy.  There were days (and weeks) that I honestly questioned whether or not it was possible, but I had to keep believing.  And then the universe decided it was time to really test me.  I hadn't yet figured out what I was going to do for self-employment so I continued working for an employer that I struggled with.  The last straw was broke when I found out she was speaking poorly about me to outside vendors to make herself look better and together my husband and I decided I needed to leave.  I did not have anything lined up.  We didn't have much saved.  We were out of debt (thankfully) but had just recently paid off everything except our mortgage.  And my husband's job was not fully stable, he was only working full-time about half of the year. I gave a 2 month notice and was allowed to work out 2 weeks.  And then reality hit.  And I got scared.  Initially I began looking for a new job.  Then I realized this was my opportunity to begin self-employment.  I started our soap & skincare company, but because there is so much overhead involved, I was forced to grow it very slowly.  We just didn't have the income to throw into the business.  I was also forced to live extremely frugally.  I didn't realize that I needed this test but I did. A long story short, I did end up returning to work while we continued building our business and was able to leave outside employment for good two years ago.  The only reason we are both able to work for ourselves in a very small business is because we live frugally and have simplified our lives (wants/needs).  Could we get more frugal?  Absolutely.  Could we simplify more?  That's a big YES. It all comes down to contentment.  I've chosen to look at the world through the lens of what I do have, not of what I don't have because the reality is, there will always be something I don't have.  Things that I constantly need or want if I were to continue on that path. related posts: 12 Ways That I've Simplified My Life                        23 Frugal Tips To Try This Year                        What Simplifying My Life Has Taught Me                      

What Does Frugal Living Have To Do With Simple Pleasures? Frugality encourages us to fully appreciate simple pleasures.  For instance, I used to purchase a latte from Starbucks twice a day (I know, it was ridiculous!).  It was something I just did.  I didn't necessarily appreciate the latte, I expected it.  Once I decided to break that habit and began making my own coffee at home, the few times I did purchase a latte out I truly appreciated every aspect about it - the delicious syrup, not having to make it myself, and the perfectly steamed soy milk.  And it's continued to stay as that - a rare treat. Living frugally means we don't need bigger and better treats to continue seeking happiness.  Instead, we find it.  And it's almost always in the most simplest of things and often, in things that are already in our lives.

living simply and frugally has given me time to fully appreciate the change of seasons

Frugal Lessons Learned Frugality gives you options.  Whatever you want to do - work for yourself, retire, travel, work part-time,  - frugality helps make that happen.  You're no longer spending your way out of a life you'd like to live. Living frugally allows you to be prepared for the inevitable crisis.  Car needs major repair?  No problem.  Refrigerator needs to be replaced, NOW.  Okay doke!  Lost your job?  You're financially ok for a few months while you search for a new one. Simplifying your needs and wants allows you space (and time) to appreciate the things you have in a whole new way.  It also allows you space and time to appreciate the people around you in a whole new way.  It allows for contentment. Frugality and simplifying your life means you aren't tied to a rigid budget.  Because you no longer spend lavishly, counting pennies just isn't necessary. Frugality makes you happier (although it's hard to see that initially).  When I chose to stop shopping, I found that I became less stressed.  I was spending less money on things, and less time finding those things, which meant I was no longer always on the hunt for something I "needed" to make my home or myself appear more acceptable, or to temporarily fill a void.  This has made me happier.  It has also alleviated the stress of being surrounded by things I didn't need or (later) regretted purchasing. At the end of the day do new, trendy things really mean that much?  If it all ended tomorrow, do you honestly think that's what you would regret?  Not owning a brand new vehicle, nicer furniture, or a larger home? All this being said, I completely understand that there are people who are frugal out of necessity and I'm not trying to be insensitive to that.  In those instances, they may not be able to handle the curveballs mentioned above quite so easily.  I'm grateful that it's a choice for me and am speaking specifically to voluntary simplicity and frugality.

Do you live voluntarily frugal and/or simply?  What have been some of your struggles?  What do you love about the way you live?

Learning To Live Frugally And Simplify was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 17-21

Chapter Seventeen

So that light was a spren that alerted the Parshmen. But what kind?

Parshmen children. Free ones, now.

Yesssss, identify with these people, Kaladin. They are indeed people. You understanding that is a key part of helping them.

“They may have taken your freedom, but they took our minds.” Fuuuuuuuck. And they remember all of it too, the burning helplessness of their lack of free will. Their owners were lucky the Parshmen didn't kill them in their beds.

Well, the Parshmen aren't free from Kaladin's perspective – and experience. But free from Dullform at the very least, free to act as they choose, their will their own.

A higher spren – just not an honorspren. Is it looking for someone to bond to? A human, or a Parshendi? If it wasn't bonded, wouldn't its mental state degrade while in the Physical Plane? Or is it a voidspren?

And there Syl goes, casually dropping capitalized Connection and Identity into conversation

[winces] Trying to explain to a child how your ancestors enslaved hers. Yeaaah, that's going to go really well.

!!!! You're staying! Helping them. Oh, Kaladin, I expected it from you, but my heart still soars at reading it.

Chapter Eighteen – Double Vision

So. Veil chapter. And right off the bat we have Shallan's name dropped in favor of Veil's. That is… a worrying sign considering her last chapter with Adolin and the way she changed into Brightness Radiant.

“the part at the back of her mind that was still Shallan” yeaaaaaah, I'm worried. There's a distinct level of separation between personalities going on.

Patterm likes Adolin! That's… unexpected. (Does he sense the lie Adolin cloaks himself in now?)

“Is that-” PATTERN. ...though to be fair, marrying a Radiant is basically a package deal.

Urithiru's wells don't empty, and their water levels never drop? But they're at the top of a mountain! Most of the groundwater flow should be through the shallow stress-fracture system. You are above drainage. Are the wells super-deep? Do they draw from a confined, perched aquifer where the hydrologic head somehow remains constantly level and doesn't artesian despite the city likely having wells on different levels/elevations of the city? SANDERSON, EXPLAAAAIN.

Smooth, Veil.

Ahhh, so the colours in wines are done on purpose as opposed to a byproduct of the ingredients used to make them? That makes sense, especially considering how they're ranked by alcohol content to a rainbow gradient.

So was that a shot of vodka, everclear, or moonshine? Either way, you are not fooling anyone, Veil.

“Oh, hon.” No kidding. Shallan, unless you have enough stormlight to clear it, you are going to wake up with a serious hangover tomorrow.

Oooo, the barkeep can tell. “With eyes like those...”

That fact that you're managing to maintain enough brainpower to remember your initial reason for coming out here is frankly astounding.

Aaaand there goes the drunkenness. You're lucky you don't have to suffer that hangover (and apparently it works on poison too, good to know). [cackles] That little cheek-pat was just the cherry on top.

Oh shit. Oh shit. She's not sure if she can distinguish parts of reality from her own fictions. Fuuuuuuck.

“I can't be Veil only on the surface.” YEAH THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS WORRIED ABOUT

Nope, there's the moonshine.

Well, would you look at that, a possible lead?

….are you going to start a barfight, Veil.

Holy fuck.

Even thugs don't really want to mess with Certified Crazy People, and you've just cemented yourself as one of those, soooo… you may actually be safe. For now.

So the Ghostbloods aren't secret-secret? Huh. Their organization must be larger and more prominent than I thought.

Ooooo, so- it's a mirror-murder? It's not going to be the same as Sadeas every time? But it will be the exact same down to the detail as another kill? Interesting. This… I'm thinking this doesn't seem human.

But is it a sign of the coming Desolation, or something less Odious, though just as sinister?

Chapter Nineteen – The Subtle Art of Diplomacy

I think this might be the last of the chapters that I read before the book released. Ahhh, but this was a good one.

Dalinar, people are wondering if you're contemplating arson

Trust that the Alethi know very well how to wage war on their own ground, Toh. It's what they're good at.

No Soulcasters at all in Iri or Rira? Are they hoarded by the Veden nations, or do the other kingdoms/countries not have as much need of them?

Lounging there in a takama set, heh. I need to sketch out designs for that.

Whoops, and where's the missing knife? Not like you have anything else to do but go look for it, so why not just meander out into the Highstorm

You're lucky your soldiers didn't have bows ready to loose at whatever Shardbearer was making their way in unexpectedly from the storm.

Dalinar, you are a crazy, crazy man, Just. Wandering back into the Highstorm, contemplating all the things on your mind as you casually step out of the way of flying boulders. Nothing to see here.

What is the glowy thing

Well. That's one way to make an impression, that's for sure.

Where did you live before you were twelve, if you'd never seen Kholinar before that time? 'Backwater' tells us nothing. But “their branch of the house”…. Did you overthow the main family of your own clan before going after the rest of Alethkar?

Down, boy. Don't make us get out the cold water hose.

Dalinar, rude.

“A touch vapid-” Somehow I feel that that estimation is off, or at least not indicative of the entire picture.

How many sets of Plate did Rira – and Iri – have in the first place? Not many, or they wouldn't still be so outraged over this “stolen” set decades later.

Sadeas may have deserved his stabbing many times over, but you can't deny that he and Ialai were well-matched and obviously happy together.

Not ready for a political match, Dals? It's just one more way your brother uses you as a weapon to get closer to his/your end goal!

Dalinar. Dalinar please.

Is all this conversation about Sunmaker foreshadowing, I wonder – or at least foreshadowing for the current-future, as opposed to Gavilar's own death and the fragility of the kingdom afterwards. After all, Dalinar is sort of attempting to “conquer the world” in a way, though the unification he seeks isn't political or territorial.

That is an apt description of many a war, Dalinar.

Sadeas are you trying to flirt with him-

So. How did you find out about the Codes, Gavilar, and what's driving your interest in them? Considering what we know of you in later dates, I'm not convinced that you were a proto-Bondsmith.

Dalinar's first sight of Evi, fascinated by her hair and how she stands out amongst all the Alethi, mirrors Adolin's first sight of Shallan and I am entirely here for that.

Left-handed Evi? Left-handed Evi, oh man that is- the Vorins are going to try to train her out of that and into using her right hand, that's a given.

And here I though using assassins wasn't Alethi-like. Tsk tsk.

Dalinar is nothing if not abruptly decisive in following through – like Adolin and Sadeas in the corridor, thought translating immediately to action.

Dude. You are definitely a barbarian.

Chapter Twenty – Cords to Bind

Kaladin, gemheart, gentle one, I love you more and more with each passing chapter you're in. May your legacy be that of healing hands as well as protection.

Kaladin “I will adopt everyone” Stormblessed. Though really, wouldn't this fall under “I will protect those who cannot protect themselves”? It's just a non-violent kind of protection.

[hums] You are speaking with an authority that they're used to from lighteyes, Kal. Soldiers expect it, but these are civilian people. They don't do orders like those you've been used to for the past while. And Sah makes a very good point. They're following what you say, what an Alethi says, same as it was before.

They have every right to choose their own battles, Kaladin.

Makes sense that Syl can sense the storms – or the stormlight within them, perhaps. I'll bet that all Radiants' spren can do so.

[winces] I hope that there is a middle ground, I just… I don't see how.

Chapter Twenty-One – Set Up to Fail

The vision of Shallan sleeping in a nest of piled blankets is too cute.

Oh, shit, you drank the entire jug?! That's… be glad you have stormlight, or they'd be finding you dead of alcohol poisoning.

“Her actions felt like they'd taken place in a dream.” That... does not bode well at all. I'm suspecting that you might be going beyond 'coping mechanisms' and are developing Multiple Personality Disorder as a response to your PTSD.

Shallan, I'm pretty sure he puts in a lot of effort to look that effortlessly handsome. He just wakes up earlier than you do to get it done.

“Blarg.” [snorts]

Adolin, you are being adorably attentive.

“We're very mysterious creatures.” Yes, just not as mysterious as Mistborn, right?

IT IS MOONSHINE I WAS RIGHT

Shallan, you've had how much booze before to determine what's good or not? No. Shush.

You don't have to try very hard with the axehound-puppy eyes, Shallan, I'm pretty sure he's already charmed by how morning-scruffy and adorable you look in your nest.

ADOLIN AND RUBIES, I---[sc r e am s]

….Shallan. How much were you already breathing light as a child?

And how do you have stormlight if they all should have gone dun? Sanderson's not one to overrule his own psuedo-magic rules, so there must be an actual reason for it.

You two are too goddamn cute. I do so hope you're endgame.

…..oh shit. Ialai.

Every scene with Sebarial and Palona is a gift.

For more reasons than just the two of them being an utter delight – Sebarial always manages to give us a more down-to-Roshar, common-sense(-for-a-Highprince) view of events, with a much different perspective than we see with the militaristic, not-an-ounce-of-chill-among-them Kholins.

Shallan, did you forget your own guards existed. You did. Pretty much.

It's part of being a hierarchy, Shallan. Not quite honor by association, but close. You have to give them a purpose, even if that's small. Listen to Adolin, this is stuff he knows in his bones.

….Adolin's thinking back to what he said, isn't he. “My father thinks I'm a better man than he is. Unfortunately for you, he's wrong.”

It's what happens when you do figure out that mystery that he's worried about.

Looks like the general air and disheveled nature of the Sadeas army hasn't changed, what with the lack of care that the people put into their presentation compared to the Kholin army and the way they conduct themselves around their “warcamp”/territory/assigned area of Urithiru. The overtly hostile reception doesn't make it any better, as it feels like the hair on the back of your neck rises with the sense of danger with every step they take.

Oh, fucking shIT-

Ahead of Their Performance at WAKE, a Conversation with Xiu Xiu  -- Xiu Xiu’s Jamie Stewart prefers FaceTime for interviews. At least that’s what his publicist said, which is odd, since when I call Jamie, he has me staring at the ceiling because his “hair’s a mess,” and at some point I lose the video altogether. I find this to be almost too similar to his approach to making music. That is, using standard modes unconventionally.

FORGET by Xiu Xiu

When you started this project did you foresee it going this long? Jamie Stewart: I think when we started, to be frank, things were so messy and fraught in the lives of everyone who was involved in the band--in a really classic way that people’s lives are messy--we were taking things in non-future oriented terms. Very little was going right for anyone, just getting to tomorrow was all we were thinking about. I’m not trying to be melodramatic--it was really how things were at the time when we started. Xiu Xiu has been around for 15 years, with Stewart as its only permanent member. For a long time now, the group has included Angela Seo and Shayna Dunkelman, and their 10th full-length, Forget, came out last month. On the surface, their songs seem almost conventional, mostly 3 to 5 minutes long, some have repeated choruses, but there is nothing conventional about the content. The press release provides the standard listing of Xiu Xiu’s subject matter: gender dysphoria, suicide, loneliness, going insane, child soldiers, the tsunami in Indonesia, hideous sex--it’s all there. But it doesn’t capitalize on the ability of Xiu Xiu’s music to envelop you. Upon first listen, you can be caught off guard by the breadth of their narratives. Initially, it can come off as hokey or over-emotional. Yet, in time, you invariably discover that the songs are so emotionally evolved that they free you. Xiu Xiu’s records dare you to feel and interact with music in a way you haven’t before. Saying that, how do you feel now that this project that was fraught with disaster has been able to continue on this long? JS: I feel unbelievably grateful and fortunate. Frequently, at times, music goes to a business perspective [that] makes me feel terrible about myself, but then, on the other hand, I have been blessed with the opportunity to make records and play shows, and have that essentially be what my life is about. [That] makes me feel like one of the luckiest people in the entire world. I had a list of questions for Jamie. Some delved into the history of Xiu Xiu’s career, a sort of reflective piece. A chance to look back at songs, and, as an artist, describe his output. There were a couple questions that took a hard look at his catalogue, like wondering if it’s OK for a white male who grew up in the suburbs, who’s been relatively successful, to continue to make these bleak, confrontational albums? I never asked those questions. Did you think this was something that you were going to do for the rest of your life? JS: I know that I wanted to. Prior to Xiu Xiu getting our record out in 2002, I had played in bands before that--since I was a young teenager--and I thought that I was trying really hard to make it work. When Xiu Xiu started, it was kind of revealed to me the level to which one had to devote oneself was twenty times more intense than what I had been doing before. So, I thought, “OK, I’m going to put everything I have into this, and if that doesn’t work, it was not meant to be.” I was giving myself to my birthday for it to happen, and the record came out a month before my birthday in 2002. We were out on a decent label, so it was OK for me to keep trying. I had a degree in social work before that, and I told myself if this record didn’t work out, then I was just going to play for fun. But I wasn’t going to throw my whole life into it, and I’d probably just go to graduate school for social work. Which, if and when Xiu Xiu dissolves, is probably what I’ll go back to doing. Until then, I’ll keep going for it. Does it carry the same kind of emotional vision that you had when you started? Like, do songs like “I Forget” still have the same kind of gravity? JS: As one would expect, it comes from a different place, and in some ways I suppose--that’s a good question, let me think about it. [pauses] I suppose the place in my psyche where it is essential to work on music--it changes. I think the level at which it is essential is the same. I think when we started, there was a certain level of obvious reasons--desperation--because we were feeling desperate, because nothing was happening, and nothing was working out in terms of putting out records or playing shows and things like that, and now, at this fairly modest level, it’s working out. I live in a very tiny apartment, and don’t really have any money, but I still have enough to where I don’t have a day job. We play small shows, and don’t sell that many records, but certainly a lot more than we were, which was none. [laughs] My family life is considerably much more settled. It was in complete violent chaos at the time the band had begun. Luckily, it’s a lot more sorted out. I think that compulsion, and the necessity to do it, is not based in desperation anymore, but the necessity and compulsion is still very much there. I didn’t ask those quesions, because I was looking at Jamie’s music from a lyrically detached perspective, as a sort of Springsteen-esque storytelling. What I eventually realized is that Stewart is a David-Foster-Wallace-esque figure who allows his art to express his emotions at a deep, visceral level, and the courage it takes to project that vulnerability into songs is rarely seen. My initial interpretation was a result of my processing the feelings presented in his work through the vehicle of myself, and since I did not feel those things, at least not that deeply, they somehow could not be that real.  In other words, Jamie suffers from depression (admittedly so), and I do not. Would you want to elaborate on the violent chaos? JS: Oh, ahhh, it’s something that I talked about at length before. At the time that the band was starting [pauses] Sorry. [pauses] About a year and a half after the band had started, my father committed suicide. I was dealing with--still do--with really extreme depression, but I wasn’t dealing with it as well as I am now. Certain . . .  revelations of sexual abuse were coming to light. I was working at a preschool for migrant worker children, and the lives of the kids I was seeing were what you could imagine--were incredibly rotten. The house I lived in--the basement literally flooded with feces every two or three months. The sewage pipes would break, and the landlord would just cover it with lye and tape the pipes back together. My best friend stopped being my best friend. My love life was incomplete, and a total shambles. I had a horrendous drinking problem. The lives of my siblings were complete disasters. You know, fun times. Very, very fortunately I have a much better handle on depression, though, oddly, it’s reared its ugly head the first time in a couple of years. Things with my family are much, much better. I’m really proud of everyone in my family for how they worked through getting through that time. And drinking is not as much of a thing as it was. Jamie has expressed his troubles with depression openly. What has come as a surprise to me is that I do not, in fact, suffer from it. It is something I believed I had for years. My family has a long history of it. My uncle committed suicide when I was a teenager, my father dealt with his depression through alcoholism, which eventually killed him. When I went through bouts of pain, I just naturally presumed it was depression. It was in my blood. The truth is I was so wrong. Not wrong in terms of what I was feeling, but wrong in believing I had this disease. How do you use music to dispel your depression? JS: It’s not really a way to make depression or sadness go away. It’s more a way of compartmentalizing it or being able to put it someplace that it becomes manageable. Though with this last record, the approach was completely different for the first time. With the last records we had done, it would be what I’m about to describe to you, which was to really look at these difficulties or concerns or hardships or hurts really deeply and directly and scrupulously, and to document them very directly--in at times very overly obvious terms--and try to turn that into some sort of constructive pursuit--i.e., a song--rather than turning it inward and having it become something destructive or impossible to handle. I think that--annoyingly--that despite the numerous stresses I have been made to deal with as an adult and as a child, that I don’t handle stress very well, and turning it into a song is a way to deal with the stress, but it doesn’t really make it go away. It’s a way of reframing it, so I don’t jump off a bridge. This is not some sort of “depression is not real,” Tom Cruise, Scientology, bullshit moment. In fact, it’s the opposite. I have this internal need to equate my pain with someone else’s in order to validate it. But the truth is, I cannot identify with Stewart’s experience. Stewart’s pain, along with that of others who suffer from depression, is something that I can only hope to sympathize with. Does that mean I can’t relate to his music? Fuck no. Where Stewart’s genius lies is in his ability to take you to these dark recesses. To get you to--for a moment--touch upon the utterly dark, sometimes strangely beautiful emotions he feels. You can supplant your desires and hardships with them--which is what makes a song truly great, and what Xiu Xiu are often capable of doing.  Can I understand what a depressed person feels? Probably not. Or rather, not always. When I try to falsely include myself, I minimize the profound difficulty one has when dealing with mental illness. If someone is starving, literally starving, in some far off country, even at your hungriest, you would never compare your starving with their starving. You’ve felt hunger, but not the way they feel it. The problem with depression is it’s such an umbrella term. It’s both clearly defined and completely grey. What’s worse is it’s romanticized. People gravitate towards depression like this badge of honor. In film, music, books--it’s illuminated.     “Get Up,” one of the songs on your new record, features the lyrics "Do you hate me because I’m stupid / Or do you just very quickly hate me right back." Is this about the internal battle to literally get up? JS: I’m completely open to any interpretation. I think, for me, although I’m going to completely contradict myself right now, I’m always a little hesitant to directly say what a song is about, because I don’t want to color anyone else’s interpretation, but for me that song is almost more making fun of myself. [laughs] Or, I think a career of not really telling myself to get over it, because it’s impossible to get over it. This record’s a little less completely sure what each song is about. I know what it feels like, but it’s a little more difficult to put into words. That one is probably the most direct song on the record actually. Maybe it’s about what you had described, or maybe it’s about making fun of myself for that same reason. Some of it is a nod to Angela and Shayna who are in Xiu Xiu, and also my best friends who are supportive and encouraging as friends should be, but at the same time part of their support and encouragement is rolling their eyes at me when they’ve heard it for the 9 millionth time, but at the same time still remaining my friends, because they know that sometimes hearing that bullshit for the 9 millionth time is a little out of my hands, and has to do with circumstance and faulty brain wiring. So it could be about all those things, or maybe it’s about nothing. I’m not sure. Is it fair to leave it open to interpretation? These songs feel so powerful and autobiographical. Is it sort of a defense mechanism? JS: No, no. I still have personal, direct interpretations of what they are, but I don’t feel any necessity for those to be the interpretations of someone else who might listen to them. I would hope that they [are] not. The point of making any of these songs is for someone else to listen to them. They’re not really for me. So they operate in this grey area . . .   JS: It’s not really a grey area at all. For me, it’s not a grey area. The point of making music for us as a band is that hopefully someone will get something out of it, and I think if I try to foist my personal interpretation onto someone else’s interpretation, then they can’t really get something out of it. Hopefully, when someone who listens to a song that we do can apply it to their own heart in a way that is beneficial to them in whatever way that might possibly be. That’s the goal of doing it. That may or may not happen, but that can only happen it the song is theirs and not ours. Almost ten years ago, I held a job as a circulation clerk at Waterford Township Public Library. One of my co-workers was this amazing woman named Mary. She loved Van Morrison, always had her face in a cracked smile, and had bright red hair that was gelled into a sort of slicked back flattop. Her son suffered from HIV and had debilitating depression. Some days when the library was slow, in a quiet voice she would tell me about her troubles dealing with her son’s illnesses. One time, I mentioned if he ever exercised, and that it helped me with my depression. I still remember the look she gave me. It was as if she had just eaten something that had gone bad. As if she had just realized she was talking to a child.   When you write a song like “Wondering”--that’s a fucking great song, that’s a hit. Do you ever think when you’re done writing certain songs, “Wow, I just wrote a hit?” JS: I think if we were going to have a hit, we probably would’ve already had one. [laughs] I’m really glad that people dig that song a lot, and I’m really happy about that, and I’ll just leave it there. [laughs] I mean it’s true. I don’t know what else to say. That song really came together when John Congleton was mixing it, and a lot of why that song works was how he mixed it, And when I was sitting in the studio behind the desk while he was working on it, most of what I was thinking about was, “Fuck, John’s really good at this.” [laughs] I wasn’t thinking, “Ahhh man, we just wrote the fucking hottest jam of 2017!”

But do you ever get like that? When I write a song, sometimes I’m like, “This shit’s going all the way to the top!” Even though it’s total bullshit, it’s not true. I think [everyone is laughing at this point] I suffer from far too much self-loathing to ever think like that. [laughs] Let’s be clear here, Jamie is a very funny guy, some of our interview takes us to Trump, and old MTV shows. We share more laughs. Yet when I get off the phone, the first thing I want to do is call him back to see if he’s going to be OK. That’s within the disease, that you’re never really entirely sure they’re OK. I hope he’s OK. -- Xiu Xiu will be performing at the opening of our exhibition WAKE, along with the equally legendary Kid606. Xiu Xiu’s new LP, Forget, is out now on Upset The Rhythm and Polyvinyl. Cop it at yr local record shop. -- WAKE opens at 6 PM tomorrow, 17 March 2017. Tickets available -->HERE<-- For more information about the event, please click -->HERE<-- -- Zachary Weedon is a musician and writer from Detroit. He is a former member of Lee Marvin Computer Arm and The Dirtbombs. He’s currently doing his thing in Mexican Knives.

Asks for Anon

Answers below the cut

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? noooo that was my Mum LOL

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? haha I don’t have any!

3. Have you taken someones virginity? nope!

4. Is trust a big issue for you? Nah 

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? yes hehe on Monday last.

6. What are you excited for? Hiking in the Blue Mountains this weekend! 

7. What happened tonight? I ate, I downloaded some lectures and talked to my beautiful gf

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? I mean it’s kinda gross when anyone gets wasted....except if you’re the one getting wasted LOL

9. Is confidence cute? Yus!!

10. What is the last beverage you had? Green tea because i felt guilty about eating too much but then I ate more after it haha

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Umm probably could count them on one hand

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? lmao lbr all my jeans are skinny, I wouldn’t be caught dead in anything else

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Eat amazing bread in the Blue Mountains haha

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Probably coffee haha my most frequent buy

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yes, very luckily

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I hope so! It’d be nice to be smarter LOL

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Em :)

18. The last time you felt broken? Ah haha idk it happens fairly regularly but the biggest moment would be during the busorgs debacle.

19. Have you had sex today? Nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything? No???

21. Are you in a good mood? Atm yes!

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? If I knew I was safe in a cage haha!

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Yeppo both brown

24. What do you want right this second? To not have to go to work tomorrow

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I know this would never happen so idk

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yep!

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No!! That’d be so boring

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Ahhhh probably a meme

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? I miss Tara and Sharna off jetsetting in Italy! But they deserve to have fun, so I’m happy to live through their pics hehe

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Not everyone

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Nooo! The last boy was my friend Luca who’s a sweetheart

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yes hehehhehehehe

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? yeah they make my tummy hurt

34. Listening to? Nothing!

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? If I’m making notes in a textbook yep

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? At home, in their room

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Maybe not love

38. Who did you last call? Am currently on the phone with Em

39. Who was the last person you danced with? Em at clubbin

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love her

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Oh god who knows too long ago

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? Not yet but I will when I say goodnight

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? All the time

44. Do you tan in the nude? Noooo tanning is skin cells in trauma

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? No hehe

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Yus! A couple people

47. Who was the last person to call you? Em!

48. Do you sing in the shower? Yeah haha I put on epic concerts

49. Do you dance in the car? All the time

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? On school camps

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Year 12 school photo?

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? I mean yeah but I love that 

53. Is Christmas stressful? It shouldn’t be but it can be

54. Ever eat a pierogi? This is so random??? No, but they look good!

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple w ice cream on the side

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? I wanted to be in the police, an archaeologist or a lawyer

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Nope

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yeah literally all the time but I think I’m just imagining it

59. Take a vitamin daily? Wow no I don’;t have that kinda commitment to my health

60. Wear slippers? I’m turkish of course i wear slippers

61. Wear a bath robe? Not that often but tbh I love mine so it’s time I did

62. What do you wear to bed? Pjs!

63. First concert? Ahhh idk tbh!

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? We don’t even have walmart here so idk ummmm I go to target more cos there’s no kmarts near me

65. Nike or Adidas? Adidas but i can’t afford either lol

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? what’s a fritos?????

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds all the way omg 

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Maybe Long Live cos it was in a really perfect merthur video that made me cry every time

69. Ever take dance lessons? Noooo thank u

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Being a kick arse barrister

71. Can you curl your tongue? yer

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Never been in one

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yes

74. What is your favorite book? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just one???? I guess just to name a few ‘Maurice’ by EM Forster, ‘The Other Boleyn Girl’ by Philippa Gregory, ‘The Elegance of the Hedgehog’ by Muriel Barbery, and even though I haven’t read them in years the Artemis Fowl series will forever hold such a special place in my heart (maybe a reread is needed soon!)

75. Do you study better with or without music? Depends on my mood but often without 

76. Regularly burn incense? No but I used to more

77. Ever been in love? Yes hehe

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Seeing Banks soon!!!!!!

79. What was the last concert you saw? I think it was the jezabels???

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Hot!!

81. Tea or coffee? Tea but coffee is gooooood

82. Favorite type of cookie? Choc chip peanut butter

83. Can you swim well? Very well yeah

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yep!

85. Are you patient? I’m much more patient now than ever before

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Band???

87. Ever won a contest? I don’t think so?????????????

88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nope

89. Which are better black or green olives? Black and in the turkish style all salty mmmm

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Do what ya want

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room I guess?

92. Do you want to get married? Yes hehe

SPREAD CH.1 - ARTIST SPOTLIGHT... SPOTLeyeT <3

Hi SPREAD listeners! For those of u that don't know, the SPREAD blog will feature a monthly Artist Spotlight, an interview I have with an up and coming artist featured in that month's playlist. A core value of SPREAD is sharing music that u may not have heard, hopefully increasing artists' exposure and fanbase. The SPF 30 featured artist, LeyeT, is a dear friend of mine, and I can't wait for u to get a closer look into her music and her artistry. HERE WE GO!

------------------------------------

LeyeT: Hi! I’m LeyeT, pronounced "light." (: I’m from Orange County, California – reside in LA, and LOVE all things music. I’ve been singing for as long as I can remember and songwriting since I first picked up the guitar about 12 years ago. I recently began my new artist project as LeyeT and released my first single on 2.28. Can’t wait to bring you more music in the coming months

Learning To Live Frugally And Simplify

Admittingly, for a majority of my life I've wanted (longed for) a lifestyle I couldn't afford.  I dreamt of a life where I could make (many) spontaneous purchases without having to check my bank account first.  And no matter how hard I worked, I just couldn't achieve that goal.  In fact, quite the opposite.  The harder I worked, the more I felt I needed to "treat" myself and the more pressure I felt to own brand new, trendy things.  I even, at one point, had an ongoing list of items I wanted to buy as I could afford them.  Not helpful, necessary items - mostly home décor and clothing, jewelry, etc. (none of which I actually needed or had room for). And then, what should have been insignificant but were major to me, issues would happen.  They became major because I was living paycheck to paycheck.  My car needed work to the tune of $800, I needed a root canal that was going to cost me a few hundred dollars out-of-pocket, and the oven stopped working.  So although just over a thousand dollars is nothing to sneeze about, had I been living with a frugal mindset, this would have been a small speed bump.  Instead, it was a devastating road block.  I couldn't wait for the next couple of paychecks to scrape together the money.  Nope.  I needed it now.  It resulted in a lot of stress as I tried to figure out how in the world I was going to get everything paid for (and which credit cards had enough room to pay for which item). The feelings of shame, embarrassment and downright frustration came flooding to the forefront.  I knew I wasn't good with money, after all, I was handling it the way I had seen my parents handle it.  And although they made a lot more than we did at the time, they too had constant financial stress.  I knew something needed to change, but I didn't think I had the strength to change my path. This didn't happen once.  This was a vicious cycle I found myself in from the age of 18 until my mid thirties.  It continued to happen until I began to realize that not only did I have the strength to change my path but I had a responsibility to my future self. I wish I could say that once that lightbulb went off things were perfect.  Ahhh…..wouldn't that be lovely?  But you don't live your entire life one way, the same way you've watched your parents live, and then change everything overnight without any slip-ups.  Nope, it's not that easy.

Frugal Living Take One What I realized that I needed to do first was to make a list of goals.  Where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, how I wanted my life to look.  I needed something real to work toward.  I hated working for other people, I am just not a corporate, top-down, kinda girl.  That being said, I worked a corporate job, did my job dutifully and to the best of my ability, but in the back of my mind I couldn't wait to get out.  So, that became one of my goals.  Working for myself.  Owning a small homestead, creating our own business, growing much of what we eat, and living a more simple, intentional life was the start of my list. And I found the list was a great idea!  It helped me focus and pass on purchases that I previously would have made without any thought to the contrary.  I followed Dave Ramsey's "will this purchase help my future self?" thought process. And then I slipped up.  Stress was high at work, we began eating take-out regularly (I mean, who has the energy to cook after a stressful day at work? I reasoned....), and I made a quick stop at Target for 2 items where I made the mistake of walking through the entire store rather than leaving after I selected the 2 items.  Shopping can be like a high of sorts.  You feel anxious, you find an item that you "need" to update your home or your wardrobe, and you suddenly feel good.  And I did -- until I got home. "I can't do this" I told myself.  I threw my pity party (for the next few hours) before I got over myself and decided I would do better tomorrow. I continued to make a decision to stop trying to demonstrate my value through things that I own.  I began consciously ignoring the constant advertising of what I "needed" in my life.  I learned that if I wanted to stop being judged by what I had or didn't have, I too needed to stop judging.  I began to find the real me.

Frugal Living Take Two I just kept jumping back on the horse.  I was determined to get to the new version of my dream life and I was embracing what truly made me happy.  There were days (and weeks) that I honestly questioned whether or not it was possible, but I had to keep believing.  And then the universe decided it was time to really test me.  I hadn't yet figured out what I was going to do for self-employment so I continued working for an employer that I struggled with.  The last straw was broke when I found out she was speaking poorly about me to outside vendors to make herself look better and together my husband and I decided I needed to leave.  I did not have anything lined up.  We didn't have much saved.  We were out of debt (thankfully) but had just recently paid off everything except our mortgage.  And my husband's job was not fully stable, he was only working full-time about half of the year. I gave a 2 month notice and was allowed to work out 2 weeks.  And then reality hit.  And I got scared.  Initially I began looking for a new job.  Then I realized this was my opportunity to begin self-employment.  I started our soap & skincare company, but because there is so much overhead involved, I was forced to grow it very slowly.  We just didn't have the income to throw into the business.  I was also forced to live extremely frugally.  I didn't realize that I needed this test but I did. A long story short, I did end up returning to work while we continued building our business and was able to leave outside employment for good two years ago.  The only reason we are both able to work for ourselves in a very small business is because we live frugally and have simplified our lives (wants/needs).  Could we get more frugal?  Absolutely.  Could we simplify more?  That's a big YES. It all comes down to contentment.  I've chosen to look at the world through the lens of what I do have, not of what I don't have because the reality is, there will always be something I don't have.  Things that I constantly need or want if I were to continue on that path. related posts: 12 Ways That I've Simplified My Life                        23 Frugal Tips To Try This Year                        What Simplifying My Life Has Taught Me                      

What Does Frugal Living Have To Do With Simple Pleasures? Frugality encourages us to fully appreciate simple pleasures.  For instance, I used to purchase a latte from Starbucks twice a day (I know, it was ridiculous!).  It was something I just did.  I didn't necessarily appreciate the latte, I expected it.  Once I decided to break that habit and began making my own coffee at home, the few times I did purchase a latte out I truly appreciated every aspect about it - the delicious syrup, not having to make it myself, and the perfectly steamed soy milk.  And it's continued to stay as that - a rare treat. Living frugally means we don't need bigger and better treats to continue seeking happiness.  Instead, we find it.  And it's almost always in the most simplest of things and often, in things that are already in our lives.

living simply and frugally has given me time to fully appreciate the change of seasons

Frugal Lessons Learned Frugality gives you options.  Whatever you want to do - work for yourself, retire, travel, work part-time,  - frugality helps make that happen.  You're no longer spending your way out of a life you'd like to live. Living frugally allows you to be prepared for the inevitable crisis.  Car needs major repair?  No problem.  Refrigerator needs to be replaced, NOW.  Okay doke!  Lost your job?  You're financially ok for a few months while you search for a new one. Simplifying your needs and wants allows you space (and time) to appreciate the things you have in a whole new way.  It also allows you space and time to appreciate the people around you in a whole new way.  It allows for contentment. Frugality and simplifying your life means you aren't tied to a rigid budget.  Because you no longer spend lavishly, counting pennies just isn't necessary. Frugality makes you happier (although it's hard to see that initially).  When I chose to stop shopping, I found that I became less stressed.  I was spending less money on things, and less time finding those things, which meant I was no longer always on the hunt for something I "needed" to make my home or myself appear more acceptable, or to temporarily fill a void.  This has made me happier.  It has also alleviated the stress of being surrounded by things I didn't need or (later) regretted purchasing. At the end of the day do new, trendy things really mean that much?  If it all ended tomorrow, do you honestly think that's what you would regret?  Not owning a brand new vehicle, nicer furniture, or a larger home? All this being said, I completely understand that there are people who are frugal out of necessity and I'm not trying to be insensitive to that.  In those instances, they may not be able to handle the curveballs mentioned above quite so easily.  I'm grateful that it's a choice for me and am speaking specifically to voluntary simplicity and frugality.

Do you live voluntarily frugal and/or simply?  What have been some of your struggles?  What do you love about the way you live?

Learning To Live Frugally And Simplify was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)