#aceo vents
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I’m too broken and tired for more crap and yet all I get is more crap to deal with 🙃
#I’m straight up not having a good time#and you wonder why my faith is wavering when I ask for help and all I get is more crying and hard stuff to deal with#I’m so TIRED#and I feel like crap physically too I hate this#I might share a legit prayer request later but I literally don’t have the energy to do anything right now#aceo vents
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Muse du Printemps
ACEO original bientôt disponible à la vente sur ma boutique Etsy : https://www.etsy.com/fr/shop/HellypseArt
#aceo card#aceo#Illustration#traditional drawing#drawing#atc#original character#original art#dessin#spring#printemps#muse#forsale#anthro#feline#flowers#gold#golden
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* tries to communicate my hurt and find a compromise *
Other people don’t listen or try to compromise
Me:….see this is why I don’t see the point in even trying anymore
#I already wasn’t excited about holidays and now it’s like another reason for them to not be exciting#but if I say anything I’m not being understanding so I just have to keep my mouth shut and cry by myself to keep others happy#like yeah let’s change things up the year when I’m the most depressed and don’t care about things anymore#a great time to change things so I feel even less cared about 🙃#aceo vents
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A random video: talking about why the mcu is going downhill
Me: *nodding while listening*
The dude talking: praises no way home and hates on Hawkeye
Me:
#Hawkeye is the only mcu show that was actually like…good in terms of like good story and morals and like characters that I love#like I would rewatch it I’m not rewatching any others#I only liked Darcy and wu in wandavison like it wasn’t terrible but….eh…#and I won’t even get started on no way home lol#though the dude at least said that it was mostly playing on nostalgia which I agree with#aceo vents#kind of I guess#I gave up on mcu a while ago I don’t care about it anymore#he’s also praising endgame and I’m like…😒#oh no he just said that tony and Steve’s endings were perfect and HAHAHHAAH I WILL FIGHT YOU
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Two things happen in one day where I feel forgotten/not prioritized
Me: ….yeah this is fine
#totally not tearing up its fine 🫠#maybe I should’ve tried to go to the group meeting but I’m so tired and it’s cold so going out does not sound fun…#this hasn’t been an issue in a while but it’s just throwing up it’s head again I guess…#or maybe people have been better lately I don’t know * sigh*#aceo vents
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Me: trying to fill out a form so we can meet some kittens
The form: you need two referrals from people and need to check all these boxes including that we can come check out your house and can take the cat back if we don’t like how you are taking care of them
Me: ….are you kidding me…I know you want good homes but this is a little overboard
#like seriously it’s a cat not a foster kid lighten up a little#we love our cats and feed them and take care of them and take them to the vet if they aren’t doing great#that’s really all you need to know???#aceo vents
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Me and my sister: prays that I’ll be encouraged today with the cats
One of them: stops playing and stares at me…and is scared of me again
Me: …why do I even try?
#I should’ve learned by now I can’t expect anything good or encouraging to happen 🙃#it’s just my life 🙃#I feel like I was rushed into things but I was too tired and stressed for time that I didn’t say anything#and now I’m scared we’ll be stuck with cats that don’t like me 🙃#it’s not helping me with missing my cat…it’s making it *worse*#aceo vents
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I’m having annoying health stuff again and it’s not helping my mental state at all and I’m so sick of all of this 🫠
#prayer request#it’s like yeah cut hair!#body: oh your mental state is a tiny bit better? time to be a piece of crap!#like seriously it’s just why even hope for anything good it’s always disappointment and suffering and just getting through things#only to have to deal with even more crap with no break or relief whatsoever#this has been my life so so long I’m so tired of it all#aceo vents
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Hmmmm
#haven’t cried over that in a bit but it’s probably good cause maybe crying more will help me feel better#just things reminding me of old times I thought where good#and maybe they were until they turned sour and toxic and painful#trying not to let myself wonder if this will turn into something bad too but…I wish that was easier#I should probably just go to bed…I don’t know#but then again I haven’t known what to do for months ✌️#aceo vents#kind of I don’t know sigh
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Why do I even pray and hope things will get/be okay/better anymore?
#I feel like we pray and just…nothing#radio silence….and#im tired and I don’t see the point in hoping or caring anymore#nothing changes except for the worse#my cat isn’t doing well and I’m hiding in my room#I thought she was doing better yesterday but I guess that’s the happy before the loss#I’m so sick of loss I feel like this year has just been loss and hurt and it feels like God doesn’t care one bit#aceo vents
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Chances of going to the chosen in theaters earlier this week: 75%
Chances of going now that I know I’m having to act like I’m fine while eating dinner cause people I’ve never met before are coming over (and I wasn’t told about it till yesterday) and I’m already feeling not great today: significantly less than 75%
#this is fine 🙃#it’s not fine but this is what I have to deal with#not being understood and having things thrown on me last minute#when I really don’t do well with that and it stresses me out and makes me feel even worse than normal#I want to just say#‘can y’all go out to eat and not come to the house that would help me a lot’ but it’s probably too late for that#but because normal people would be fine with it it’s totally fine right 🙃#I wanted to go I just…I’d have to be ‘on’ for at least 3 hours two of which is in public#and I’m already tired cause I had to get up earlier today#and my depression is not dealing well with it either….#aceo vents
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At home vets: yeah we want things to be comfortable for you and your cat
Me: yeah that sounds great for my cat
Them: great, that’ll be over $300
Me: um WHAT???
#for rererence if we take her to our vet it’s only $85 dollars….I know gas hasn’t gone up *that* much#like seriously are you kidding me?#the cheepest is $320….like adopting two cats is more that $100 dollars less than that….#and we still haven’t heard back from the adoption place either *sigh*#aceo vents
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Ugh, I want to write but also just...don't want to do anything at all...
#like i know why but it's frustrating#because i know it's probably for the best#but i'm still disappointed you know?#i think it's probably because i'm aching for connection tbh but i know online isn't the place to find that#but i don't know how to get it in person either#so i just feel stuck and lonely and not sure what to do so that's fun....#and also like...i will probably try out to create but also...i feel like i shouldn't expect much (aka getting in or even being a backup)#just cause i don't even have that much confidence in my work...like I like it but does that mean other people would chose it? debatale#which is also a sucky feeling to have ugh#plus my motivation has been so off and on it's like...helping out seemed easier to do than committing to create#but at the same time yesterday i literally said i shouldn't be a mod because my mental state has been so crap#which is like...why i know it shouldn't effect me that much but i'm still disappointed and i'm tired of being disappointed i guess#anyways a lot of venting there i'm just kind of sad#but i also want to write and know i need to draw...#but i don't really want to draw and writing is kind of just reminders of what happened so....ughhh#aceo rambles
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Me: Maybe okay is today
Depression: lol
#depression and life both just…want me to be sad and lonely 🫠#aceo rambles#I’m too tired to even vent *sigh*#once again feeling like I have friends but I’m not a best friend to anyone 🙃#and I have to reach out if I want to chat and that makes me feel needy#or like people only talk to me out of obligation not cause they want to
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I remember back when I saw posts about friendships and they made me all happy and I was still positive about friendships…I wish I still felt that way…I’m hoping one day I can again…but right now it hard to believe deep, real friendships are actually real, at least for me…
#that’s what happens when someone you trusted deeply breaks your heart and makes it feel like it’s your fault#and wants you to do all the work if you want to fix the relationship#and when you say you don’t think that will work then they block you….#yeah it’s great….#sorry I’m just venting I just…it’s a harder day today I guess#the second Lego movie is right it’s hard to not harden your heart and close yourself off when you are left alone 🫠#I might like not even post this or delete this later *sigh*#aceo rants
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I have....never been more ready to fight someone than I am watching the newest odd1sout and he pretty much said HTTYD 3 was terrible and Penguins of Madagascar is great and I am SO...*screams*
#i've never been more ready to throw down#i've never disagreed with him more than now#i normally agree with him but THIS IS NOT ALLOWED#penguins of madagascar is...stupid tbh...i didn't like it like...at all#and httyd 3 is a masterpiece i will fight#aceo vents#aceo rambles#anyways i'm not that upset but i am like HOW?? you know? xD
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