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stxrsfxte · 3 months

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Headcanon - Masks; Lorelei & Anzhelina

Of all my muses that have any sort of "mask", Lorelei and Anzhelina are the two that are heavily tied to their various masks, for similar reasons as well. With both, they were heavily traumatized and learned early on in their lives that in order to be heard, sometimes one had to wear a mask. Not only that, but both use their masks as a way to hide who they are when they are alone / to hide facets of their truest selves that show a vulnerability or weakness that could be used against them.

Lorelei

Their mask is their prickliness, the side of them that is biting words and the sort of attitude that generally pushes people away. After watching the fall of Khaenri'ah, especially as their vision of the fall went ignored by those in power at the time, Lorelei (once they regained those memories) fixated on making sure that people would listen to them in the future should they ever have another vision like that. Now that they are on their 5th life, the way they learned how to do that was by being loud and sharp, more aggressive than they used to be, and far more prickly than they ever once dreamed of being.

(putting the rest under the cut because just Lorelei's part got long)

Their mask thusly hides the personality they had back during their first life, as well as the softer sides to them. Deep down, Lorelei just wants to be heard, and to know that there are those who like being around them even when they are...difficult to handle (imagine growing up as an oracle. Their home life was...not the best, and even after joining the ranks of the "wise" (who I imagine were like Sages), they still were treated kindly for their visions, but that was it). They are quite capable of being soft and nice, but they've been relying on their mask for so long, and they only know of one surviving friend from Khaenri'ah, that they are now somewhat scared to show what's underneath the mask to anyone else. Now, acts of kindness are not common (from the perspectives of others) but are something of a rarity (whereas before they often were openly, easily kind).

While Lorelei is genuinely not bothered by not having a huge amount of friends, their mask is now so integral to what they are like as a person, that they now almost have to fight their own sense of self in order to try and be softer, kinder, and more palatable to the people who they do genuinely want to be friends with. As much as they may try to act like they aren't bothered by it, loneliness is something that they have been dealing with for so long, sometimes the weight of it is crushing, and they wish they had an easier time in satisfying their need for company. Unfortunately, this feeling does sometimes cause them to lean even more heavily into their mask.

Beneath it all, they're hurt, scared to lose anyone else they care about and thusly are scared to try and reach out to make more connections. In truth, they are quiet the poet & musician at heart, but even those hobbies and habits they have built up over the years are still held deep in private where the softness to them cannot be used to hurt them. The sharp words and wit are still very much a part of them now, but it is not the only to them - just the side they are most willing to show to everyone.

Anzhelina

Her mask is porcelain and politeness, soft and perfect as is expected of an aristocrats child. With the weight of turning over her own parents to the Fatui for their planned betrayal, her acceptance into the Fatui ranks, and all of the pressures that had been put on her during her childhood, Anzhelina's mask is all about showing to the world the perfect person who has everything under control. In truth, there's so much chaos below the surface of the mask that when she's alone, or when the mask happens to break around someone else, all of the emotions that she usually represses (unless a situation calls for a certain emotional response) come pouring out with the force of a hurricane. Her normally impeccably cold and perfect expression will shatter all the fear, anxiety (something she knows intimately), and everything else will show (she often cries when her mask breaks, if only because she needs a break from wearing the mask so that she can actually feel the things she needs to).

Given her life as a diplomat / politician / aristocrat, her mask is often a genuine asset to her work, something that she usually tries her best to view as a boon given that it can help her in furthering the work and will of the Tsaritsa. She is capable of mingling with people of all sorts of social rank and class, and she knows just how powerful the right word in the right tone of voice can be to someone. Similar to Lorelei, Anzhelina often just wants to be heard in her true voice, the side of her that she has all but strangled into submission that way her voice can be used as the mouthpiece of the Tsaritsa, or any of the Harbingers in need of such a thing.

There are some days where she isn't even certain if she knows what she wants anymore because of how tired her truest sense of self (her voice) is from trying to speak, trying to find anyone willing to listen to her, but constantly being pushed aside in order to ensure that her duty is fulfilled first and foremost. This is why her mask must break on occasion, that way she can remember that she is in fact a person first, and a member of the Fatui second.

#about lorelei.#about anzhelina.#ooc || out of stars #// had to go back to my old ways of being a productive meta writer lol (playing fire emblem while i write works surprisingly well)#// anywho *holds up anzhelina and lorelei* i just think they're neat #anzhelina. headcanons.#lorelei. headcanons.

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metamorphesque · 1 year

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When Van Gogh was dying, his last words were said to be "sorrow will last forever." That could be anyone's epitaph. The eternal has its own laws.

A Few Words about Van Gogh, Anzhelina Polonskaya (tr. by Andrew Wachtel)

#a few words about van gogh #poems #poetry #russian literature #anzhelina polonskaya #translated literature #literature #quotes

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llovelymoonn · 10 months

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favourite poems of june

chase twichell the snow watcher: "hunger for something"

hester knibbe hungerpots (tr. jacquelyn pope)

jan beatty an eater, or swallowhole, is a reach of stream

sally wen mao the toll of the sea

peter everwine rain

rebecca lindenberg the logan notebooks: "poetic subjects"

john kinsella native cut wood deflects colonial hunger

katie peterson permission: "the truth is concrete"

linda hogan dark. sweet.: "innocence"

jános pilinszky (tr. george gömöri & clive wilmer) van gogh's prayer

david sullivan the day the beekeeper died: sulaymaniyah

sandra simonds you can't build a child

kari edwards bharat jiva: "ready to receive remains..."

george kalogeris rilke rereading hölderlin

philip nikolayev letters from aldenderry: "a midsummer's night stroll"

franz wright the raising of lazarus

erin belieu black box: "i heart your dog's head"

joseph brodsky collected poems in english, 1972-1999: "the hawk's cry in autumn"

jonathan galassi north street and other poems: "may"

stanley kunitz the collected poems of stanley kunitz: "end of summer"

robin blaser the holy forest: collected poems of robin blaser: "a bird in the house"

liu xia (tr. jennifer stern & ming di) empty chairs

wilfred owen exposure

mahogany l. browne this is the honey

diane lockward the uneaten carrots of atonement: "for the love of avocados"

peter balakian ozone journal: "here and now"

(tw: miscarriage) kathryn nuernberger rag & bone: "translations"

ailbhe ní ghearbhuigh conriocht ["werewolf"] (tr. billy ramsell)

craig arnold meditation on a grapefruit

anzhelina polonskaya (tr. andrew wachtel) to the ashes: "a few words about van gogh"

support me

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shakespear-esque · 1 year

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—Anzhelina Polonskaya, from A few Words about Van Gogh, To The Ashes

#aesthetic #poetry #poetblr #literature #classic literature #vincent van gogh #academia aesthetic #light academia #light acadamia aesthetic #classic academia #classic academia aesthetic #literature academia #romantic academia #romantic academia aesthetic #art academia

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razoarmachi · 1 month

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Answering About OCs!

So lately, there have been a few tweets in @/ocsbase2 about QnA for original characters. And here, I will answer some of them! Today's topic is family and friends.

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

Q: Who are your OCs that perceive their family as their pillar of happiness?

A: Obviously it's Elise. Just like a typical superhero, she vows to preserve them from any twist of fate. Elise is willing to take any damage for the sake of their safety. I'd like to half-put Riley in this situation since she loved her younger brother so much but not the other family members.

Q: OCs who have siblings, do they get a happy ending?

A: Too bad, Riley didn't get a happy ending with her beloved brother. He went missing, and she had no place to go home and no reason to go back from Fazbear Entertainment. While for Lucel, neither a sad nor happy ending, she got what she deserved. Her twin, Lucia, doesn't need to suffer from the abuse of becoming a perfect model for society even though Lucel barely wants to meet her in person. As long as Lucia is happy and enjoys her new life, Lucel doesn't mind. Also, Lucel's case is similar to Kanon's.

Q: Who are your OCs who don't get along with their family, why?

A: Lucel's family formed a long-time cult which made her become a sacrificial lamb to the devil they worshipped just because she's the only one who is blessed with The Destruction path after decades. Tired of being tormented and experienced hours of sickening ritual for a hundred life loop, Lucel killed her parents and committed mass murder to all followers of that heretical cult. In Yuki's case, he was raised as a perfect child in order to be his family's successor. He absolutely demised that, which is why he spent more time with his mentor at school in his childhood. He started to get mentally abused, and that's where he also started to rebel against his parents. The result was, even though he was very young, he became violent towards anyone who limits him to do something he likes.

Q: Are there any OCs who are abandoned by their family?

A: Amia. She was abandoned and only left with a house and transferred money that flowed while she had not yet graduated from school. She lived alone, but of course, she wasn't being abandoned since she was a baby.

Q: Your OCs who look alike but they're not twins?

A: Amia and Keira. They both have the same hair color and length, but different bangs. Haruka and Elise, same hairstyle but different color.

Q: Do you have OCs who are in a friend group?

A: I will never separate this trio; Elise, Romelle and Claire.

Q: Does your OC have a platonic/romantic relationship with another OC?

A: Elise is platonic to Romelle and Claire, but Romelle has a spark of romantic feeling for Elise deep inside. Fyodor and Anzhelina are romantic partners. Daniel has a romantic feeling towards Kenzie.

Q: If one dies but the other is alive, what would they do?

A: This is literally Fyodor and Anzhelina. Fyodor died in a big conflict that happened in his family. Anzhelina was extremely saddened, but she was glad that he came back as an undead even though he's not 'alive'.

Q: Is there any OCTP that constantly fights but they actually care for each other?

A: Yuki and Kanon. They fight over silly things, sometimes Yuki is the one who starts it because his ego is kinda high + he's a tsundere and Kanon is always ready to tease him. They get along again as time flows but hey, it's already their daily life.

Q: How and with whom do your OCs celebrate their birthday?

A: Elise only celebrates it with her fam and her bffs, and she doesn't use tart cake. Kanon celebrates it with Yuki and Kaoru. Kenzie celebrates her birthday by herself because she doesn't like crowds and also wants to keep her birthdate as secret information.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

#OC #original character #writing #fun fact about ocs #oc lore

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dk-thrive · 2 years

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and the twisted throat of a song bird

So today I tried to write again about the most important things—the enormous sun rising beyond the smokestacks. The crimes of the entire nation. And the twisted throat of a song bird accomplishing its daily heroics during an argument. But I couldn’t get a line by Elena Shwarts out of my head: the heart is like a punching bag, pounded from the inside.

— Anzhelina Polonskaya, “Today,” Oxford Journals: Arts & Humanities: Literary Imagination Volume 15, Issue 3 (translated by Andrew Wachtel) (via The Vale of Soul Making)

#Anzhelina Polonskaya #heart #hurt #care #love

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princesssolaria · 3 years

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@gildedscripture said

❝ That’s the way it’s always been. ❞ Anzhelina hums, not bitter nor happy about it. Just resigned. "People want to use my powers for their own gain. It's...Not a bad trait. Just human."

“but why?” is the prompt question. The child sitting at the woman’s feet, the only other sound in the room being the shuffling of servants who pretended not to hear their conversation. “Why do they use you? Can’t you run away? I run away from my lessons most times, though someone always catches me in the end.” She pouts, crossing her arms indignantly.

“Can you tell me another story, a happy one?” It’s only after the words have left her lips that Adora realizes how they sound. Anzhelina’s tale making her pause and think about how she asked things of others. While not overly demanding, Adora was accustomed to getting her own way, “If it ism’t too much trouble, you don’t have to.” She adds quickly.

#gildedscripture #happily ever after- Sleeping Beauty verse

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ofprevioustimes · 4 years

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“Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.” From Anzhelina for whomever you're feeling :D

a meme from ages ago that i can’t find

The muscles on her face tensed when Eleanor heard those words, and immediately her eyes turned sharp and cold, altogether leaving an unfriendly expression upon her features. Immediately she understood the words to be about herself, because she’s heard them so often. There was always, always someone doubting her ambitions, her goals - where would she have been today if she had ever listened to them? She eyed the other woman with a look of suspicion, her chin lifting proudly and defensively. No, she bore no illusions. She had plans - and the means to put them into action. ‘The fuck you mean by that?’, she demanded.

#i chose eleanor bc this is exactly the kind of thing ppl would tell her #sorry she's a bit unfriendly about this tho lol #lemme know if u need context #gildedscripture #[the queen of thieves]: eleanor guthrie

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thxrneschild · 5 years

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“You look like you could use a coffee.” from Anzhelina!

Perfectly Platonic Starters

"Hmm? I suppose a cup would be nice right about now." He mused, his gaze cast to the ceiling as he thought about it. How long had he been awake now? Surely, if he didn't take proper care of himself Silky would come to reprimand him.

Red orbs drifted back to the other. "Would you like to join me for a spot?"

#gildedscripture

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sairavity · 5 years

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remember us

an original story :)

featuring original characters

ps. Andy is a girl FYI, short for Amanda

————

If I knew what would happen tonight, I would’ve never followed Andy to Nate’s house party.

It was just another regular day, when Andy excitedly ran up to our table. She held up her phone, which showed a text message.

“Guess what? Nate Adams invited everyone to his party! We’ve never been invited before! He’s so cute!” Andy squealed.

She showed me the text. It was an open invite for all. Ace shrugged. “I mean...I don’t have anything else better to do. What about you Meg?”

“I don’t want to be at a party being ignored, but I can’t stand being in the house alone without Mom there.” Meg said. “I’ll be the driver, I guess.”

We are interrupted by the arrival of the twins.

“Hey Nova! Hey Sirius. What’s up?” The twins walk towards our table, sitting down with a vague expression.

“I don’t think we should go to Nate’s party... I think it’s fishy.” Nova says out of the blue.

“Yeah. I heard his parents are some cult fanatics. They’re cuckoos. Plus, someone said there’s a weird, huge shed near the backyard. It’s very hidden in the woods. I don’t know guys...” Sirius trails off. “And the guy’s a real selfish jerk.”

“Those are just rumors. They aren’t facts. It’s just a regular party. Don’t be silly.” Andy exclaims in a huff.

Nova looks at Sirius. “Maybe you’re right. But I do know Nate is a punk. I think his family is part of the mafia.”

“The mafia? The freaking mafia? And cult fanatics?” Meg laughs. “You watch too much crime documentaries.”

“We’re not going, and that’s final. Now, let’s change the subject, shall we?”

———

“Ro, I’m going to go study at Andy’s. I’ll be back at around 12.” I say, putting on my tennis shoes. My sister doesn’t say anything, but just nods and continues to type away at her laptop.

“Love you, Lina.” She says, looking at me and smiling. “I wish I could stop you, but knowing you, you’re too stubborn. Make sure you stay together with Andy.”

“You got that right, Ro. I love you too. I’ll be careful.” I hug her and go out my apartment and down the elevator to the lobby. The doorman opens it. “Bye, Miss Lina.”

I wave goodbye to the doorman, Vince, and walk to Andy’s waiting van. Ace and Meg are in the back, while I stay up front with Andy.

“Okay, Nova and Sirius are a no-go. Let’s roll.” I say, closing the door and driving to the party.

———

We get there in a flash, parking on the residential street. The Adams house is large, two stories, two garages and a pool out back.

There are cars parked everywhere, people on the lawn and also inside the house. Andy goes to talk to some of her friends. Ace, Meg, and I stick together and go to the backyard.

Nate’s backyard has a patio, a pool, and a barbecue pit with some meat cooking. There are beer coolers across the lawn. People are playing beer pong and blasting music. The DJ, one of Nate’s buddies is heading the turntable.

Kids are wading in the pool or already knocked out cold from the booze. Inside, Nate’s voice can be heard from a microphone. “Let’s get fucked up!!!” People cheer and raise their cups, downing them and going crazy.

Ace decides to drink a Bud and then walks away, leaving Meg and I to eat some (or all of the) food. “It’s so loud!” Meg yells over the loud music.

“Well, this is a party after all!” I yell back. We laugh, sitting in some lawn chairs. We relax and chat away, not a care in the world. I notice some people walking into the woods, wearing all black clothes. I shake it off. Probably some weirdos.

Ace walks back to us, energetic and happy. “There’s some good brownies in the fridge! Come on!” He pulls us up and we walk back inside. Andy is challenging a guy and doing a keg. She, obviously, wins, pumping her hands in the air and screaming.

We laugh and walk into the kitchen. Meg and I open the fridge. Two containers of brownies sit, cold and fresh. We grab a container and eat them. “Oh gosh...these are so good! I could eat them all.” I say, savoring the brownies.

Meg eats one and falls in love. “I want to eat them all.” We stay in the kitchen and eat some brownies. Ace smiles at us.

After eating at least 3 brownies, we are full. “Those were fucking good. What was in them?” I ask. Ace shrugs. We walk around, and end up in the backyard.

Everyone around is either out cold or still partying hard. “We should go into those woods!” I blurted out, pointing a shaky finger at the tree line.

“Good plan.” Ace says. Meg looks at me weirdly, then follows us into the darkness. Oddly enough, I’m not chickening out at the thought of being in the dark woods.

All is quiet, except for a few crickets and owl hoots. The party music becomes farther away. The hot, humid air sticks to our skin. I feel my hair damp and hot. Out of the blue, Meg shrieks.

“What happened, Meg?!” I clutch my chest, my adrenaline spiking. She jumped over a little and looked at the ground. “I felt a snake bite me!” She said.

“Meg...there are no snakes here.” Ace says, calmly. Meg looks at her brother, then shrugs. “I don’t even know anymore...”

We continue to tread deeper into the woods. It feels like we spend an eternity walking. I hear a stick crunch. Then, the bushes begin to rustle. “What is it, Lina?” Ace says. Meg grabs my arm. “I feel like I’m floating.” She says.

“What was in those brownies?” I ask. No one said anything. “Well...dang it. Those edibles got us.” Ace laughed but I clamped a hand on his mouth.

“Shhh! I heard something.” The three of us stood in suspenseful silence before we spotted a gray building hidden by some bushes and trees. We slowly walk closer to it. It looks like a bunker. The door has a wheel on it to turn and open it.

“Should we peek in?” Ace says. It looks like a villain headquarters. There were large screens displaying text and showed the faces and information of people I didn’t know. Computers were turned on and a map was shown of all of the United States.

Green dots pointed out several major cities. We looked around. We saw more big rooms. Weapons were being kept here. We hid when several guards with rifles were patrolling the hallways. As we turned to go into a room that looks like a torture chamber, Meg coughed.

We all quickly ran into a closet. The guards looked around slowly, then decided nothing was amiss. They went away to another place.

“Meg! Please don’t kill us all!” Ace begged. Meg nodded. “I won’t speak at all.” She replied.

We silently went out back to the surveillance room. We decided to look at the screens. Familiar names were displayed on them and the map.

“Why is my mom’s name on here?” Ace asked. There on the screen displayed the twins’ mom. Her occupation was listed as: Field Agent.

“I thought Mom was a lawyer?” Meg questioned, confused. “Apparently not.”

I looked at another screen. A girl’s name appeared next: Anzhelina Ivanova. She looked like my twin. “What the...”

I heard a loud alarm blare in our ears. I looked at Ace. “What did you do?!” I asked.

“I touched something!” He panicked. “Let’s get the hell out of here!” I screamed. We ran out of the room and managed to get to the entrance.

“Hey! You there! Stop!” The guards yell. I didn’t dare to look back. We heard gunshots fly into the trees.

“We need to get Andy and go! Hurry up!” I shouted to the twins. Meg ran as fast as she could. Ace followed behind us. The guards were going to catch up soon!

“Where’s the van? Oh shit...Andy has the keys!” I yelled. We ran back to the backyard. I ran like a madman and hurriedly found Andy, sprawled on the grass. Ace and Meg quickly took the keys. “Can you take her, Ace?”

“No! I’m tripping balls right now, Lina! What do you think?!” Ace says.

“You better get moving! Get her now!” I commanded. Meg and I ran to the van, with Andy and Ace in pursuit. We quickly got inside.

Andy was still out cold and drunk. “Close the door now!” I jumped into the driver seat, still high from the pot. I slammed in the keys in the ignition and quickly turned it to drive. We began to drive back to who knows where. There were several black cars following us.

Gunshots followed. I pushed on the accelarator and we began to fly on the street. “We’re all gonna die!” I hear Meg say. Andy is coming to, but still out of it.

“Can you drive any faster?” Ace says next to me.

“I’m going the fastest! I’m trying not to die, too!” I screamed. Everyone shut up. The headlights did nothing for the darkness in front of me. Just let us go home. I began to think of that girl. Ivanova...she couldn’t be?

I began to hear the light sprinkles of the rain. It turned into pouring. Lightning and thunder roared in the night. Those cars were still after us. I blazed forward, gripping the wheel until my knuckles were white.

The train tracks. Shit. The guards were already down. “Everyone hold on!” I shouted. I braced myself before we blew through the signs and past the train. Several of the cars managed to get through before the rest were stuck waiting for the train.

“What’s going on...” Andy says. Meg is looking at her in relief. “Don’t panic, but we’re all going to die soon, anyway.”

“What? Meg...you’re silly.” She replied, laughing. “I think some FBI shit is happening. Something crazy! I think we’re overreacting a bit.” I say.

My phone rings. It’s Sirius. Immediately, he answers, “Are you guys okay?” Meg snatches the phone from my hand.

“No! Fuck...we got the hell out of that place. We’re in deep shit!” She rambles into the phone. The rest of the conversation blurs into the background, while I concentrate.

I hear the gunshots flying again. The rain is becoming stronger. Then, the lightning crashes in front of me. The gunshot pierced one of the tires. I swerve on the wet road. I crash into the guardrail, then we begin to fall down the side of the mountain.

Everything is slow. I can hear my heart beating inside me. Flashes of lightning dance across the sky. I can see Ace shielding himself. We fly through the air, being held back by our seatbelts. Glass is flying everywhere. I can see the phone floating. My breathing halts ever so slightly. I feel a surge in my mind.

A few flashes of thunder shine in my eyes, before I can feel time return and everything goes dark.

———

“I haven’t seen you in a while, Angelina.”

Something other than my own voice comes from my lips.

“I...who are you?”

“We’ve met many years ago, but I am now nothing but ash and dust. You are the greatest hero to ever live.”

“Are you playing a cruel joke on me? I am weak. I’m just average.”

“You think that, dear, but I know what you’ve been through. Losing your family, being tortured and used as a mindless slave. A burden that such a young child had to bear.”

“I’ve never told anyone a word. No one knows.”

“I know you, Angelina. I had hoped to not see you again until it was time, but today is not the day.”

“Why? Why can’t you see me?”

“It is not time for you to come with me. But I need you to be strong. Train yourself. Train your mind. Become a hero. Do it for your people. All of your subjects who have come before you and will follow you in the years to come.”

“What does that mean?”

“I cannot tell you yet, Lina. Now, you must sleep. Remember us. Avenge us.”

I see all white light before I feel myself give out.

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