Mmmmmmmaking a playlist on Spotify for the kiss edit bonuses. Will be updating periodically (sporadically)

hai babi :3 oki selfship ask game,, do any ship yu want oki !! 🐶💞💋💐🎵😍💤 ✅ : would they kiss me/j

🐶 (what kind of pet would they get?): I could definitely see them getting kitties. Puppies, too, maybe ? I could see them both liking to indulge in a puppy's hyperness and whatnot, but also liking the peace and sprinkle of chaos brought with a kitty

💞 (how is affection expressed?): Through small fleeting words and actions, that feels like it's lingering; like they've been in that moment for way longer than how long they'd initially been embracing in the moment. Although, little needs to be said, this goes for the both of them, it's the little things that matter more than anything (they're both attention/affection-starved babies) <\3

💋 (favorite places to kiss their partner!): Cecilia likes to tease, she'll ghost a kiss over the corner of his lips, or his neck before biting down on it, just to see him get frustrated and start squirming before flicking her in the forehead for being so "annoying"

As for Wanderer? I feel he likes the way her lips feel against his when she kisses him back with love evident in the action, it makes him feel all warm inside. He probably likes to get her back with the neck kisses before the bites and then oh no now they're being all petty and competitive, trying to see who can catch their partner off their guard and do it most smh

They both fancy hand/palm kisses (id melt)

💐 (how did they meet?): when she broke into his office when she was nineteen to steal documents, and got away by kicking him in the face with her heel before escaping through the window from whence she came and managed to avoid him for two weeks

🎵 (song lyrics that remind you of your selfship!): very good question. ill come back to this after scrolling through the 1.3k songs in my playlist.

😍 (three favorite things about your f/o!) answered here!

💤 (do they sleep together? what are their sleeping habits?): Yes, they cannot go to sleep without ensuring that they're touching their partner somehow. Cecilia scared the fuck out of him the first few times she fell asleep, because she's so still, and you can hardly tell she's breathing (id be terrified too),,, She's also a super light sleeper, like, the sound of a leaf hitting the window could wake her up immediately (not really but you get the jist) She only really moves if she's having a nightmare, so he knows when somethings wrong

Wanderer's a light sleeper too, not as much as Cecilia, but he's a really alert sleeper, will wake up if he feels something wrong (like Cecilia moving her leg off of him in his sleep he'll wake her up and threaten her/j) He likes to pull the blanket over them to ensure she stays trapped (she's the kind of psycho who can sleep without a blanket shivers uncomfortably) They both wake up kind of early, but he prefers to sleep in, since he has no reason to get up for the Tsaritsa anymore or anything, but he literally cannot unless he pins Cecilia to the bed why are you waking up at six in the morning to go bake sit your ass down

✅: Cecilia would *lipbite* (only like on the cheek or wrist thou 😔 im an exception we're making out rn actually) but Wanderer would ridicule you for even having that thought in your mind like smh (again, im an exception/j)

Cold Nights — Taehyung

Pairing: Taehyung x reader (nicknamed Lace)

Wordcount: 4.7k words

Genre: (mild) smut, fluff, romance

Rating: suggested 18+

Hi babes! I’m back with the Cold Nights drabbles, and after what happened in Girls’ Night, I think Taehyung’s was the story I wanted to explore the most, since the chemistry between him and Lace felt so natural and the conclusion naturally called for me to pick up the story from there. Although reading Girls’ Night is not necessary (even though I had lots of fun writing it and I selfishly took the liberty to write that before continuing with next prompt), I would highly recommend to read at least the second part, just to get the vibe of these two (you can find it here, btw.).

While Girls’ Night was written with the girls as OCs, in this case we have a classic readerxTaehyung fic.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: this is not explicitly smutty, though there are a few steamy passages (making out, teasing) and heavy flirting (mentions of masturbation). Also, Lace is a domme, as said in Girls’ Night, and the topic is discussed in this drabble too. Reader has pretty much a lot of experience in BDSM (mentions of lessons and club), and has had only one relationship, with a girl. Sexual orientation is discussed. Also, Taehyung shifts from cool kid to cute kid a lot. There’s a sprinkle of sexy driver Taehyung but also soft cuddlebug fluffy Taehyung. You can’t have one without the other, yk.

Wordcount is around 4,7k (I know, a bit long for a drabble BUT I GOT CARRIED AWAY).

Also, here is my masterlist

Enjoy!!!✨

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Watching Taehyung drive was something incredible. He looked like a demigod from Hollywood movies from the Sixties. He was so careless, so undoubtedly timeless, so iconic and unbothered. You wanted a picture.

And his driving was excellent. He was attentive, with a soft driving style, cruising down the half empty streets like a ghost, floating, decelerating with care before coming to a stop. He seemed to stop at yellow traffic lights a lot. He took the pauses to observe you, the way light seemed to shimmer on the silver details of your leather jacket. Rummaging in your handbag, you found your lipstick and mirror, deciding to reapply the cherry tint just because you could.

He stared, mesmerised.

You were so charming.

A diva.

A muse.

He was surprised at how such a small gesture unsettled him so much, making his insides flutter with nerves and arousal. He wondered how many of your ordinary actions could turn him on. He was eager to find out. Write a list. Submit it to your scrutiny. Show you how incredibly sexy you were in his eyes even when simply checking your nails or furrowing your brow in disapproval.

“Do you wanna stay in the car or do you want to take a walk?” He asked as he took a turn.

“Oh, I don’t mind. Your choice.” You said tentatively.

“I think it would sound extremely bad if I told you I know a spot.” He chuckled and you followed.

Looking down, you bit your lip. “I think it would sound extremely bad if I told you I’d like to see your spot.” You looked at him as both your faces tinged with a shy blush and two matching mischievous grins.

“Then we’re heading out, darling.” He said, focusing again on the road.

Apparently his spot was somewhere a bit out of the city, a ten minutes drive away. The winding street led you to a small clearing with a parking lot. You had never visited there, but you noticed an octagonal pavilion. Bukak Skyway, a sign read.

“The sky is a bit clearer here,” He said. “I swear I’m not going to kill you.” He laughed. “Namjoon likes to bike all the way here. It’s a famous spot among cyclists. I have a throw in the backseat. Do you wanna go out, sit on the bonnet?” He asked, trying to break the tension.

You thought about it. Staying in the car meant less chances of being seen. And staying warm. But going out meant Taehyung being way less dangerous; the public situation keeping both of you from doing potentially inappropriate things. “Will people see?”

“Does it bother you, being seen with me?” He asked, frowning, his expression dead serious.

“I don’t want you to get in trouble or people seeing you with a girl, starting rumors.” You shrugged and furrowed your brow.

“There’s maybe six or seven people. It’s dark. I’ll be covered. No one will see, sweetie.” Taehyung reassured you. “But we can stay in the car, if you prefer.”

“Let’s go out.” You said, smiling.

“Great choice.” He pulled out his phone and exited the car, grabbing the blanket he kept in the backseat.

You also exited the car, shivering and hugging yourself at the cold bite of the night air. “Wait.” He called, wrapping the blanket around your shoulders. “We can stay in the car if you prefer.”

“Let’s watch the city lights.” You replied, a bit uncomfortable since you felt your hands reaching out for him, but changing your mind at the last minute.

“Let’s do that.” He walked to the front of his car, propping his hip against the hood. As you walked closer, he held out his hands. “May I help you?” He asked, gesturing at your waist.

You blushed and nodded. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit heavy.”

Still he placed his hands on your waist, over the blanket. “Irrelevant. You’re a lady. Let me treat you like one.” He replied, unfazed before helping you jump and sit on his car. It was low enough that a small jump was all you needed. You fixed the blanket around you before he pushed himself up and sat beside you. The front of the car was right before a short wall, delimiting the parking lot from the street winding a few metres down. The quite steep hill allowed a clear view of the skyline, stretching out in front of you without any obstacle to your sight, Seoul and its towers glimmering in a humanly mirror of the night sky above. “How has it been?” He asked.

“Good. I’ve received a commission for a wedding so I’ve been busy.” You explained. “Plus spring-summer collection has arrived at the store. We’re studying arrangements.”

“Great.” He replied. “I’ve been working a lot too.”

“The girls mentioned your schedules.” You threw in.

“Yes.” He said simply, scrolling on his phone until a soft acoustic song came on. He placed his phone down. He had a playlist for moments like this. He didn’t have one for moments like this with you, but he aspired to build one together. He simply let his favourites play.

“You’ll be leaving for Japan tomorrow.” You said, half a question.

“Yes.” He replied again, looking at the lights of the city below. “The flight is at ten am. We’re leaving the city at eight.”

“And then the tour.” You commented.

He half saw it coming. “Yes.”

You looked at the sky. It felt like an old blanket thrown over your head, so old that bugs had eaten small holes through which light came in. It felt cosy. Domestic. Confidential.

“Is that why you have been running from me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, placing his palms together and shoving them between his knees to warm his hands.

The blanket was big enough. You scooted closer to him and tucked him in too.

He looked at you, at your small gesture of affection, your eyes meeting. You simply smiled as your arm pressed against his, shoulder to elbow. “I’ll be very honest, Taehyung.”

One more thing about you that turned him on: the way your lips curled around the second syllable of his name.

“I like you.” He said, direct and shameless, spelling the words with such certainty and determination that your heart lost a beat. Seeing it written on screen was nothing similar to hearing him actually say it.

“I like you too.” You replied.

He smiled and looked down, acting like a coy schoolboy. 

“However, I think there is stuff you need to know.” You took a small pause to gather and organise your thoughts. “This tour thing scares me. I want to build something strong, something long term. I can’t do flings, Taehyung.”

“It’s okay. We can get to know each other and see if it works.” He replied, already trying to convince you to give him just one chance.

“We don’t have the luxury of time, though. You’ll be gone for how long? Two months?”

“Seven weeks.” He replied composedly and efficiently.

“And we have what? Four weeks between Japan and the Asian tour?”

“I’ll be in Korea until mid-May, then we actually start travelling.” He said, like a scolded puppy.

“That’s five weeks. And I doubt you’ll have time when you’re working for the concerts.” You objected. “You see how awful the timing is?”

“We can take it slow, see each other and hang out. No need for fancy, big things. We can do this.” He said, gesturing at your current location and activity. “No dating, no stuff. Simply getting to know each other.”

You bit your lip, frowning. “I’ll grow fond of you.” You said.

“Isn’t that the final goal?” He asked cheekily.

Your voice shook a little. “I don’t want to get used to you and see you leave.”

His eyes were wide and sweet when he met your gaze. “Well, I can promise you I’ll text, and call, and I know it’s not like being there, but we can use the distance to see how we handle stuff when we’re apart.”

“Isn’t it too early to be apart, a few weeks into a… an acquaintance?” You said, searching for the word.

“We’ll see if we miss each other like friends or more.” He said, trying to make everything sound sane and reasonable.

You looked at the city. How many people were out there, alone? How many girls were dreaming of being right here, right now, with him? “You’re dangerous for me, Taehyung.” You said, already feeling how easily he could manipulate you. “I would let you do wrong things to me. Because I like you that much.” You murmured.

“I promise I would never do anything to hurt you.” He said, turning to fully look at you. “I’ll make sure we don’t cross the line.” He said, and in that moment all the passion and the excitement and the arousal suffocated, tamed in his chest and stomach. It felt like turning an inferno into a candlelight. He would keep hormones at bay to grant himself a chance. He knew how fast the tour could go by. “We’ll go out. On walks. We could do this again, or we could go out early, watch the sunrise from Bukhansan. Whatever. I just wanna spend time with you. Give you a chance to know me.” He nuzzled into the blanket, but he was secretly looking for your perfume, trying to take in all the small details that made you you.

You let the conversation slip before trying to direct it on the topic that was worrying you the most. Gathering your courage, you spoke. “You aren’t curious about my bag, in the apartment?” You asked.

“If you were comfortable with it, you would tell. No need to ask you about it.” He shrugged. “I have nothing against it. I think everyone has their reasons. And there’s nothing strange or shameful about it. You like it? Good for you.” He smiled, not a pinch of malice in his voice or expression.

“I took lessons of several techniques of domming in a BDSM club here in Seoul.”

“So you’re a dominatrix?” Taehyung asked, his expression warm, as if he were asking about your hobby or the weather.

“Yes, but I’m not active anymore. If I wanted, I could be one.” You tried to explain yourself,

“What do you mean?”

“It means I have the technical and practical preparation but I haven’t participated in a scene in a while.”

“How long.” He asked, still chatting about it neutrally. 

“About… four months.” You counted them. “Yeah.”

“How did you decide to take lessons?”

You laughed at the memory. “A woman recommended I tried after my yoga classes were disappointing. I started learning and I found out I liked that. Back then I was in a very vulnerable moment. I wanted to enter university and study business, so that I could build a firm out of the atelier, you know. Unfortunately, I didn’t pass. I grew desperate, started eating a lot out of stress and gained a lot of weight. Not only I felt like I was losing my dream but also my reality. I was literally one of those skeletrical models before, and then with all the weight I gained…” You gestured at your body.

“But it helped you, the course I mean.” Taehyung ignored your reference to your body.

“Yes. After a year I was even more confident than when I was skinny and full of dreams. I got healthy again. And with the confidence boost and the new attitude I managed to enter an online university, which was more suitable since I was already working both at the shop and at the club.” You smiled. “Plus I liked the sense of control and peace you need when you’re involved in a scene.”

He nodded. “I’m happy it all worked out.” He nodded some more before his mind produced one more question. “Is domination a non-negotiable aspect of your relationships?” He asked.

“No, I think. My first partner was a girl I had met at the club, but after that I didn’t ever mix the two.”

He didn’t even react to the fact, he simply took it in. He would never judge and he himself was not the type to consider gender a determining factor in terms of sexual attraction. Although he was a bit worried you were attracted to women exclusively. What if you would never like him like that?

You continued. “I had a few dates, never anything serious. And of course, I taught and I took part in scenes at the club, but it never led to sex.” You explained. “Sexual attraction is a tricky concept to me, I think.”

“So you’ve had just one relationship?” He asked, his expression neutral, however his slightly raised eyebrows gave away a bit of surprise.

“Yes.” You replied.

“With a girl?” He asked again.

“Yup.” You confirmed, nodding.

“But you’ve slept with men too, right?” He said.

You grinned. “Are you trying to make sure you’re the first?” You teased.

“I’m just asking. I don’t want to—” He shook his head. “I just need to know that you like me. Sexually speaking.”

You shook your head in disbelief. Little do you know. “I do. I think gender has little to do with actual attraction. I don’t think labels are important.”

“I agree on that.” He said, nodding, biting his lip.

“And I’m really attracted to you.” You took a big breath. “I might say something inappropriate, but—” You laughed embarrassedly. “I don’t mind domming. I like it. I’ve been doing it for a while, I’m familiar and it feels comfortable, but I’ve never felt the kind of attraction that makes me want to bend over backward for someone.” You paused. Took a deep breath. Continued. “Having this thing, with you… It’s something I’m not comfortable with. Because I feel you’re so much stronger than me that I don’t even want to put up a fight.”

He looked at the city. 

He looked at you. You were rubbing your hands together out of embarrassment and the night chill. You placed one around the base of your neck, rubbing your wrist with the other in an attempt to warm yourself. You were so unbelievably beautiful. 

He tsked and smiled. “Stop beating around the bush, sweetheart. It doesn’t suit you. What do you really want to say?”

You frowned. “I’m not comfortable saying it.” You murmured.

A chill piano piece started playing from his phone, a warm, tender voice of a woman mixing up with it.

“Okay. I can’t make you do it.” He pouted and nodded, looking away in the distance. “You know I’ve liked you since I first saw you. And there’s little you can say or do to push me away.”

You exhaled and tried to explain yourself. This was exactly the reason why Taehyung was dangerous. He asked, you delivered. “I have rarely felt attraction for someone because I’ve rarely found someone stronger, bolder, smarter than me. But then I started talking to you.” You shook your head in disbelief at your own confession. “You make me want to do things I’ve never craved before. And you being more powerful than me makes me want to let you take control.” You took a pause. “It makes me want to submit to you.”

He turned. “Is that why you need time? You want to get used to this?”

He is so smart. So attuned to people’s feelings and thoughts. He might as well be a mentalist.

“Yes.” You confirmed.

“And you want to get to know me to see if you can trust me?” He asked.

“Yes.” You confirmed again.

“I get it.” He nodded. “It must be something new, to see things from a new perspective. You said you feel uncomfortable. Does it make you feel bad, this thing with me?” He asked gently.

“I’m afraid of people finding out of the club, bringing it up, using it against you.” You admitted.

He shook his head. “What are the chances?”

“I used a nickname, and we have strict non-disclosure agreements. The place is often dark and sometimes we use masks, but I couldn’t use those when teaching. Anyway, there are pretty famous and powerful people in the club. I think it’s in everyone’s interest to keep mouths shut. Still.” You shrugged. “I want to protect you, Tae.”

His eyes turned into sweet, dark pools. “I don’t care.” He stated. “For now it’s not an issue. I’ll talk to our lawyer, see if there are any potential troubles with this. We both have the duty to protect each other.” He stated with certainty. “And once we’re sure and if this becomes more, then we’ll find a way.”

You felt warm in your chest. It felt good to be protected. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for opening up, darling.” He caressed your cheek tenderly, smiling at you.

You smiled back and looked down, away from his intense gaze.

He moved his hand away. “So you want to sleep with me?”

You laughed. “Sleeping is not the word I would use, no.”

“Which one?” He said.

“Which one would I use?” You asked, trying to clear up his request. Sometimes he spoke so cryptically.

He hummed in confirmation.

“I would say…” You thought about it. “I would say ‘spend the night’.”

“We could spend the night here. Talking until we have no secrets left to say. The night is amazing for secrets.” He mused.

“What about your flight tomorrow?” You asked, suddenly serious.

“Let’s go back to secrets and spending the night.” He said, trying to make his incumbent dark thoughts evaporate.

“What about them?” You were both staring at the city lights. Seoul felt so far away. Like a hologram. Or maybe like for a moment you had been subtracted from that world. Like you were stuck into a mirror, where nothing really, truly happens. Where people could see possibilities and daydreams, an alternative reality in which everyone could have a fragment of fictitious life. You felt like a mirage, ready to turn into dust, sand and smoke, a bizarre refraction of light.

Taehyung turned and stared at you. “I’m dreaming you won’t disappear, once morning comes. That this won’t be just a fantasy.”

It all turned even less real when his phone started playing a ballad about lights and stars.

“I won’t disappear.” You whispered back.

He looked at the city. “I need to tell you a secret.”

You turned with an arched eyebrow and an upturned pout.

Adorable, he thought. He leaned in towards your ear. “I’ve been asking myself if you had a fling with Namjoon and Vixen for the whole night. It feels good to hear that you like me.”

You were so close. Apparently being out in the open air, in a very public space had done little to keep things appropriate.

“I have a secret too.” You whispered, so close to his face. To his lips. You leaned in closer to his ear. “I have no fling with them. I’ve had no one for months. Years, if you exclude the scenes at the club — and I never had sex during those — and I’ve never had a man. I can’t wait to feel ready to give in to you. I promise I just need some time. Be patient and I’ll make it worthy. I swear.” You confessed, so raw with emotion.

He looked at you, inscrutable at first; then his face melted with wonder and joy. “All the time you need, darling.”

You smiled.

You both turned to look at the city. And then you turned to look at him. He was so beautiful. Glowing. Happy. Meditative and cool, like an indifferent god. Like Seoul could suddenly switch off with a general black out, and he wouldn’t even notice. He would just smile and cheer for the stars glowing brighter.

“I have another secret, Taehyung.” You murmured. He simply brought his ear to his lips, his gaze still focused away. You licked your lip and whispered, “I feel like if you kissed me now, I would literally glow in happiness.”

He turned to look at you. “Isn’t it going too fast?” He asked before shaking his head. “I mean, I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I’m sure.”

He looked in the distance again. You frowned and took it as a ‘no’.

And then he turned, cupping your cheek, rubbing his thumb against your cheekbone. His hand could cover half of your face. It was enormous. You didn’t let your brain go that way. “I’m going to be sweet. Stop me whenever.” He murmured, before pecking your lips with his.

It was so short and light you almost didn’t feel it. Still, the tingling on your lips was a living trace of it, like stardust had inadvertently brushed over your skin. His body turned into a furnace beside you, or maybe you had suddenly warmed up when he pressed his lips to yours more insistently. “I’m gonna go harder at this.” He spoke on your lips.

Fuck, it was so sweet of him to tell you. He felt so gentle. Even when he started nibbling on your lower lip, encasing it between his lips, sucking it gently before pecking your mouth with his. The moment you held his upper lip between yours, tugging at it gently with your teeth, he lost control and moaned, letting your tongue tease the tip of his. His hand disappeared into your hair, pulling you close. His mouth forced yours to open as your lips crushed together, your tongues intertwining in a sensual and suasive dance made of twirls and small licks. Your hand flew to his hair, caressing his nape, the other one meeting his waist, turning him towards you.

Your whole body was on fire. The night felt so alight, so filled with possibilities now that even this was happening, too. It felt like the most appropriate time to begin something in the quiet and secrecy that the loving, protecting darkness allowed you.

His right hand appeared on your thigh, placed there gently, not gripping, not exploring. Simply staying, existing in that strange, assertive way Taehyung exists, like he is a totem standing in the middle of time and space, piercing them together, one to the other.

Your breath was laboured once you parted. His hand moved up, to your waist. He couldn’t resist from feeling the fleshy, material reality of this late night daydream, its real consistency. He let you breathe, nudging his lips against yours. “Another.” He whispered, diving in again.

And you let him. If this was the way he intended to do things with you, hell yes, you would let him.

His lips were soft, wet and warm, perfect around yours. He started alternating between your lower and upper lip, his hand finally grabbing the flesh of your waist, tugging you into him.

You pulled at the hair on his nape delicately, trying to part from him. It felt atrocious but it was necessary. Your judgement was beginning to get clouded. You should stop. “Tae, baby. Let’s take a moment.”

He nodded, pressing his forehead to yours and parting from you with a small peck on the corner of your mouth. “Sorry.” He murmured.

“Nothing to be sorry about. It feels amazing.” You smiled, caressing him on his neck. “I’m just cold. And I think it’s better if I head home before I do stuff I could regret.”

He looked a bit lost. “Would you regret getting carried away with me?” He asked, worried.

“No.” You replied without hesitation. “And that’s the problem.” You kissed his lips chastely. “But getting carried away is different from trusting you and willingly, consciously giving you everything I have.” You kissed him again, caressing his hair off his forehead, fixing his beanie. “And that’s the way I want it with you.” You bent to his ear. “I want to say ‘yes, sir’ to your every request. I want you to do to me everything you want. I want you to own me so fully that I’ll beg you to use me for your pleasure.” You whispered in his ear, slowly, the words getting tangled up in a net that you hoped would capture him and convince him.

His deep moan made you chuckle lightly, brushing your mouth against his. At this, his tongue lashed out, the tip curling around your lower lip. “I’m so drunk on you.” He growled. “I want you so much.”

You shook your head faintly, touching his face, the light stubble giving you the strange certainty that he was real, there, in front of you. “I know. I promise I’ll repay your patience in kind.” You looked at him intensely, trying to show him just how much you wanted him too. “I’ll repay generously, too.”

His eyes closed, his face nuzzling into your neck. “I don’t want to let you go just yet. I’m afraid this will turn out to be a one time thing.”

As your earring got caught in his beanie, you had a sudden eureka. “Sit up, Tae.” You said gently.

He got wide eyed and pouty for a second before wearing his poker face and obeying your command. Cupping his face, you smiled at him. “Let me.” You caressed his cheeks as you moved your hands away, bringing them to your earlobe and unlatching one of your earrings. It was a simple pearl surrounded by small rhinestones. Carefully you moved it to his naked ear, delicately pushing the needle through the tiny hole, securing it in the back with the clasp.

Looking at him, you smiled, biting your lip. “You’ll give it back on our next date.” You said, blushing softly, looking at him through your lashes.

Slowly his lips curled up, forming the cutest shy smile you had ever seen.

“My pretty boy.” You said, fixing the small lock of hair coming out of his beanie and framing his face. He wrapped his arms around your middle and hid his face in your neck.

“Thank you.” He said, simply.

“It’s okay, tiger cub.” You quipped back playfully.

Still blushing, he parted from you. “We should go, you’re shivering.” He said, jumping off the bonnet. “Come on.” He grinned at you.

God, you had a crush.

You followed him, still wrapped in his blanket, quickly opening the car and sitting, rubbing your hands together to muster some warmth to them.

He entered next to you and started the car, turning the AC on. He reached across the seats, grabbing your hands and rubbing them in his. “We should have stayed in.” He whispered.

“But the view...” You objected.

He smiled, bringing your joined hands to his lips, placing small kisses all over them. His lips were so hot.

“You’re right.” He smiled, placing your hands on his knee as he looked around, backing the car out of the parking lot and starting your drive back home. “You should insert your address on the GPS.” He murmured, his eyes glued on the road ahead.

“You sure? I can take pub—”

“Don’t you even dare. I’ll be sleeping on the plane. I can drive you.” He rumbled.

You raised your eyebrows and did as he told you.

“It’s just ten minutes from the dorms. Fifteen from my apartment.” He commented, noticing your address.

You shrugged and hid into your shoulders. “Thank you for driving me.”

“I’m being selfish.” He grinned, his eyes still on the road. “This way I’ll have you close for longer.”

Grinning, your sank into the seat. The drive was uneventful. Your left hand moved back onto his knee, his hand joining yours every now and then. 

Seeing your building appear brought a bit of disappointment. You had grown used to the warmth of the car, the low background music, the comfort of the fabric of his jeans under your palm.

“This is yours?” He asked, looking at the small five-floor building with a restaurant down below.

You hummed in approval.

“Any parking spot close?” He asked. “I only want to accompany you to your door. No fancy business.” He promised.

“There’s the alley — wait left now!” You announced hurriedly.

He did so quickly. The neighbourhood was quiet and thankfully the sudden turn didn’t cause any inconvenience.

Still, he managed to drive smoothly, finding a row of parked cars and following the order. “Here we go.”

You grabbed your bag and moved the blanket on the seat as you exited the car.

He quickly moved around the car, grabbing your hand. “I don’t think anyone will see us. Or recognise me.” He said, following your lead.

“Here we are.” You said, awkwardly standing in front of the entrance to your building in a slight penumbra which eased your nerves a little.

“When will I see you again?” He asked eagerly.

“After Japan.” You said, smiling.

“We’ll be back Thursday next week, around midday.” He said. “Would you be free in the afternoon? I have a friend in a gallery who could book us a late private tour.” He explained.

You laughed and tried to recall your shift. You could find an agreement with your colleagues anyway. “Then I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“Good.” He said, with his signature serious look.

Just to give him a sweet goodbye, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his, without allowing him to deepen the kiss.

“Oh, come on.” He whispered, chasing your mouth with his, eyes closed. “More.” He whined.

You let him. His mouth met yours again, both his and your lips immediately parting to melt in that same scorching desire. Your arms were already wrapping around his frame.

“Let me go.” You murmured.

“You let me go, miss octopus.” He teased. You stayed in each others arms for a few seconds, your bag abandoned at your feet. You stared in silence before he spoke. “I’ll be thinking about this all night.” He said, cupping your nape and pressing a bunch of small kisses on your mouth.

“Me too.” You moved your lips closer to his ear. “My hands will probably be between my legs while I do so.”

He snarled and groaned against your ear. “You’re a tease.” His hand palmed your hip heavily. His voice was husky when he spoke again. “Am I allowed to think of you when I touch myself?” He asked.

You chuckled and exhaled seducingly along the crook of his neck. “As long as you tell me what you were thinking about when you cum.”

He exhaled a breathy laugh. “We’re taking this slow, I see.”

“I can’t go any slower with you.” You looked into his eyes, releasing your arms from around him. “Sweet dreams, tiger.” You said, saluting him and picking up your bag before entering your building.

“Goodnight, nymph.” He replied, shaking his head in disappointment and at the same time smiling at your teasing nature.

You both stayed up all night, thinking about the night you’ll be finally staying up together.

Campaign 2 Wrap Up: Anna Potatoesandsunshine Edition

Seemed like it would be fun to go through all the fan content I made for this campaign and try to find at least one thing I like about each thing! Kind of like looking back through a photo album. Under the cut because as it turns out, I wrote kind of a lot! (As in, 21 fics and 3 playlists kind of a lot!)

the sea, once it casts its spell (fjord speculation, what’s up with all this ocean stuff?? the fic)

The first thing I wrote for c2, wayyy in the beginning of things. We had no idea about Uk’otoa or Avantika or anyone at this point, it was pure ocean vibes for my favorite warlock. I really like how hard I leaned in on the “the ocean follows Fjord to land” idea.

so many things will fill my life (but only one will do) (post-campaign cali/jester fluff, written the night of the cali episode and so sweet it could rot your teeth)

This one is just good. I just did good with this one. I’m one of those people who hates their own work the night of posting and then when looking back at it goes, “Wow, this is great.” My favorite thing is the little gifts sent along with the letters! Cali was so fun and cute :)

when the dust does roam (Beau study up to Episode 42, 2k words of Beau poking at the idea of grief)

Best thing I did in this fic was have Caleb-through-Frumpkin bugging Beau about getting some sleep. They really... they’re siblings, your honor. 

“  “Fuck off, I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Beau picks the bird up and sets him in the hood of her own cloak, out of reach of any weasels or startled monks in the morning. It’d suck to have to tell Caleb that his Frumpkin got eaten by Sprinkle.” C’mon guys, let’s do the sibling dance.

keep your swords out by your sides (the idea for this was, What If Fjord Has Nightmares From Uk’otoa Every Night and just doesn’t remember them)

Assigning everybody a word Uk’otoa had said for each nightmare in this was a challenge; I went into it knowing I wanted Caleb for Learn and Caduceus for Consume and had to guess the rest - for an angry eye snake Uk’otoa didn’t give us a ton of quotes. 

“ He reaches over and runs a hand along the wall of the ship. From his touch, mushrooms begin sprouting.” Caduceus starting to decompose the Mistake in the middle of cooking was maybe the best moment in this story for me. Like, yeah. Yeah. Ok you funky little grave cleric.

strange but not a stranger (Caleb & Jester, in the immediate aftermath of Caleb’s charm in Episode 55)

the first of my “the Mighty Nein won’t have these conversations with each other in canon so they have to be had in fic” ideas that turned into a full-fledged story. I still had not discovered the em dash at this point, so the formatting of this makes me cringe a little bit, but this fic was really about The Emotions Of Being Out Of Control which turned out to be a very big Thing for the Mighty Nein.

now this story was when swords were humble (fake academia mixed with a Yasha study)

Honestly I’m still obsessed with the AU I made here where Yasha was just awakening every sword she used without knowing it?? Why did I use that here only?? That might come back. But the best part about this fic is the citations; me at my most in-joke and ridiculous.

through the teeth of this tempest (Written in the immediate aftermath of Episode 69, Yasha internally trying to break Obann’s control over the course of a month.)

The most “I wrote this to cope with canon” fic out of all of them. I was crying writing this, I was so upset that Yasha was gone ugh just remembering it. Still waiting for past me to discover the em dash, I genuinely don’t know why I didn’t know how to do it and I’ve thought about going back and editing all of these but I’m just Not Gonna Do All That. Anyway, I really like how Yasha catches lightning with her sword in this. We all really manifested that happening.

nothing more than what the losers settle for (Time travel, a series of oneshots where each member of the m9 sans Caduceus went back to a different point in the timeline and murdered Trent Ikithon)

This was my longest fic for c2, so I’m mostly just glad it got finished. This happened somewhere around the time Matt released that set of notes that mentioned Trent in more detail and I hated him so much I just had to write him dying six times. That speaks for itself.

Revolutionary!Fjord was also a good turn. He could pull it off, I think.

we’re gonna show ‘em a thing, or two, or three (Jester growing up fluff!)

I really like how I did Jester & Artagan in this, even though he barely appears. Someone better at songwriting than me please write the Dragon Song. Em dash makes an appearance here but the formatting is still wrong. I Am Once Again Asking For Proper Use Of The Em Dash.

the best things (happen while you’re dancing) (Mid-Episode 97 Divergence, Jester taking the reins at the party + hints of jester/beau/yasha bc i still love my girls so much)

Jester’s a little out of character in this, but not wildly so, and it was for the purposes of a Trapped By Societal Convention plot that I wanted her to mastermind so I think it was fine in the end. I’m still fascinated by the way she unbalanced Ludinus Da’leth in basically every interaction they had, and while their scene feels pretty cliche in this... the cliches are there for a reason. They’re so fun to write.

Em dash my beloved, there you are.

plus thirty-one varieties of sacramental wine (The Galavant crossover that truly nobody asked for, Beau + the monks)

Yeah, this one’s just fun. Not much more to say about it. Critical Role and Galavant are both fantasy, but they’re honestly pretty different in tone, and it was fun to write Beau dropped into a comedy musical.

oh we were sea-bound and aimless at best (Purely angst, a What If The Fjord & Orly Resurrections Didn’t Work fic)

Made myself care about Marius with this one, y’all. What more can I say? Beau having to go from first mate to captain was just... deliciously painful, because she would.

lost my shape trying to act casual (Beau & Yasha during travelercon, another mid-episode fic, this time of 104)

Yasha comforting Beau, who feels guilty for not feeling guilty... That Mighty Nein wasn’t lying, Mind Control and Autonomy can be themes. Another in the  “the Mighty Nein won’t have these conversations with each other in canon so they have to be had in fic” tank. They really just... didn’t open up to each other for a long time, which made sense, but I wanted them to.

so long as you don’t mind a little dying (Beau & Caduceus, sometime in the peace talks arc)

Keeping with the Mighty Nein Please Talk To Each Other theme, I feel like I did a pretty good job with the late-night conversation energy of this fic. This was at a time when I was looking at Caduceus, can opener in hand, ready to make this firbolg open up about his feelings. Beau in this is prickly and confrontational but only in service of her friend’s well-being.

amber light, bending (Eiselcross speculation, Widofjord and all the messiness therein)

THE widofjord fic of my two widofjord fics. The blueprint. The better one. Finally I got the dynamic figured out. I maintain that the tower is an absolute expression of Caleb’s love for his friends. The way that neither of them have the braincell in this fic... yeah this one is just good.

and a blade between them (Widofjord happening... sometime.)

Okay so this is not as good as amber light and I will never be able to look at it and like it as much, but it was still fun to write. Anyway, the intimacy of shaving someone else. That is good. The tag “if they didn’t want me to think about the blood pact they shouldn’t have made the blood pact” is the most useful takeaway from this fic and is the driving force behind the Fjord/Jester/Caleb fic I’m working on now, so it wasn’t a waste of time or anything.

feel the ground beneath my feet turn into the sky (Post-Campaign Astrid-retires-to-Nicodranas, Astrid/Jester)

This is another one where I’m like “Yeah, this is just good.” Packed full of Wizard Fashion, Artagan making an appearance to rope Astrid into having a happier future, and the power of Going To The Seaside. Good for you, fic-Astrid.

spend your days biting your own neck (Role-reversal where Beau is the one mind-controlled this time and Yasha is the one chasing after her, set very early in the Tomb Takers arc)

So much of this fic is about not saying things aloud - Beau’s POV spends a good chunk on body language and Yasha writes multiple letters on paper and in her own head - but devotion bleeding through anyway because there’s nowhere else for it to go. The two of them go tumbling over a cliff together at the end but Yasha has wings, ugh. Yeah this was a good one.

and blow the dry leaves from the tree (Somewhere before the beauyasha date but otherwise timeline-nonspecific Nicodranas, Yasha & Yeza become friends)

Yasha & Yeza making pancakes together when neither of them know how to do so... is good. This fic is very much about grief sneaking in, but it’s even more about finding someone to share the moment with you. I think these two have more in common than we think.

oh, lend a mending hand (Caleb & Caduceus during Beau’s tombstone meditation in Episode 130)

I wrote this entire fic as an excuse for Caleb and Caduceus to hug and it does what it says on the tin. Got em.

it’s about the passing of measures (Beauyasha at the end of Episode 134, Aeor speculation)

This fic got extremely sidetracked because I rediscovered the marble machine during it and I do not apologize for that. I still really like the idea that Aeor as a whole, not just the Cognouza, is somewhat-alive. Too much magic and too much death for it to be anything else, in my mind. And I’m a sap for hurt/comfort.

the blumentrio playlist nobody asked for

If I think too much about how deep in each other these three people are I will cry. Made myself a soundtrack for those tears. 

the caleb playlist nobody asked for

what if this angsty wizard had a playlist of songs that mostly just... make me want to dance? that question was answered here.

the caduceus playlist nobody asked for

songs about home, leaving home, dying, changing, becoming someone new, coming home and finding it’s changed... this to me is caduceus.

yeah... this campaign has been fun!! I probably won’t stop making things about it; I still write about Vox Machina, for crying out loud, but... it feels good to lay it all out like this. It’s been a long few years, and it’s wild to be seeing the end of it now.

WINDFLOWER

part six ~ to be more normal ~

(part one) (part two) (part three) (part four) (part five) (part six)

A/N: I want to thank each of you who have continued reading and supporting me through all these parts (that’s almost 12k words total!) and I hope you keep wanting to stick around until the end. Stay safe. Stay healthy. 

Summary: Alex visits with James & Fraser in a bid to distract himself from thinking about his feelings toward Y/N. George is concerned.

Pairing: imallexx x reader

Warning: Implications of Disordered Eating Habits. References to a Real/Imagined Domestic. An Absurd Amount of Pining.  

Word Count: 2.4k

Subdued shades of orange with the occasional single brushstrokes of pink projected through his bedroom window and painted him in light. A bird chirped, and another chirped back in a cycle of communication lost on other animals. Alex did not realize the change outside his window until the light gradient settled on a loud yellow and created glare on his monitor.

It was sunrise, and he had just finished editing for his most recent video. Where the hours of work went was unclear as it played back with the same level of effects as other videos on his channel. But the hours showed in his fringe, darkened with grease, and in his hands that shook from low blood sugar.

Sleep was for the strong – for those who executed enough psychological control to shush their thoughts. To untie their mental boat and let it drift into the oblivion sea. Alex was not one of those people. Quieting his internal monologue required medication that put him in a state not unlike how he imaged it felt to be roofied.

Or else he did not sleep.

And Alex did not sleep that night. Not because he needed to edit or because he was so busy he did not realize he was tired. No, none of that. He knew he was tired: exhausted even: his limbs felt heavier as, throughout the evening, his blood was spliced and diluted with concrete mix.

Why did he not take his medication? Why not sleep? He did not want to be trapped in ~the dream~ again.

Despite his fundamental understanding of the uncontrollable manner in which the unconscious forms dreams, Alex was consumed with guilt for dreaming about kissing his friend's girlfriend. So, he punished himself: not allowing his mind rest nor his stomach food as he threw himself into his editing.

He would not allow himself think about it long enough to come to the obvious conclusion – that the real issue was not the dream itself. Despite what imallexx edits might guide someone to believe (with their cutesy music over compilations of smiling pictures or clips of him laughing), Alex was a young man in his twenties. And young men (who enjoy kissing) think and fantasize and dream about kissing.

And far more than kissing but regardless... He had dreamed about kissing his friends' girlfriends before: or at least Mia that one time. Ok, two times. He had dreamed about kissing cute men he saw on the train. He had even once dreamed about kissing Princess Leia.

It was natural. But Alex's thoughts about Y/N felt damning, felt wrong. Perhaps because it was the first instance in which he thought he had a chance to get the girl. Not that he would do; he refused.

It hit him. If he were always doing something else, then he would simply not have time to think about it – about her. Alex grabbed a pencil off his desk and his JoJo Siwa notebook and wrote a schedule for the coming week.

His hand cramped from furiously trying to keep up with dictating the information as it spilled from his head. He finished writing, but there were still stretches of time to fill-up including that entire morning. Was he desperate enough to disconnect from himself that he would risk the Budweiser Bug to visit his other friends outside his apartment building? Yes.

While rummaging around his bedroom for fresh(er) clothing to wear, Alex swiped a hat off his desk and concealed his unwashed hair with it. Not his tiktok bucket hat nor his iconic pink one, it was a lilac snapback with an image of lavender embroidered on the side. He rang Fraser.

“Hello?” Fraser answered with a voice bogged down with exhaustion. 

“How’re you doing?” Alex greeted.

“Um.” (a pause – a processing delay) “Fine. Good. Yeah, what about you?” 

“Trying to keep busy.” He tucked his wallet and keys into the pocket of a pair of joggers he found hanging, oddly enough, over the towel rail in his bathroom. Changing into them required a series of short jumping motions as he used just one hand. “You have any videos to film that I could jump in on?”

“Well I’ve been brainstorming ideas for a new series called…”

At the bathroom sink: Alex did not wait for the water to warm before splashing it over his face. He did a quick once-over and washed his cheeks and forehead with hand soap. Picking up his toothbrush from its holder stirred an uneasiness in him, he could not explain; he brushed his teeth and spit without rinsing.

Returning into the conversation he caught the middle of what would sound like a rant or passionate tangent if he did not know that was just how Fraser talked, “…and I’ve been working on a script for something on social repose—”

“Another needs to be stopped?" asked Alex.

Fraser laughed, letting it linger before continuing, "You got me. It's not done, but I could definitely use you for some reaction bits."

"Great! I'll be setting off within the hour." Ambling around – as is the norm during phone calls – Alex found himself in the kitchen. Half-full liters of lemonade, grocers bags, and dirty dishes cluttered the counters. He worked around the rubbish to make himself scrambled eggs with ham.

Fraser asked, "And you're sure about leaving the apartment? With the Bug? We could do a discord-call."

"Might as well get in some time on the train before things shut down."

"Alright, mate," there was a smile behind Fraser's voice, "just don't get arrested."

With their call ended, Alex finished cooking. He ate his entire breakfast in the same amount of time it took him to pull on his shoes.

During the train ride, he turned his phone's volume to eighty percent and blasted his music through his earbuds. His playlist was a mixture of two to three alt-rock or indie pop bands with a sprinkling of mainstream hits: a calm and comfortable backbeat throughout. No outlier tracks that burst into hard-hitting or exceptionally fast beats – nothing that might pump-up his adrenaline or be useful to scream along with in a fit of anger. That was not the connection he made with music in his formative years. Music to him was something to drown out that pesky internal monologue when lying in bed for too long – doing nothing – but perhaps pondering on some heartbreaking or otherwise emotional line in a song.

He arrived at Fraser and James' apartment when it was still technically morning. Knocking on the door, he was greeted with frantic barking and his tired ~obviously hungover~ friend.

After fussing over Kenji, Alex spotted the camera set-up in the kitchen and took his seat. Fraser and him watched several of social repose's music videos: covers of emo electronic, synth-pop songs, and a lot more original EMD songs than either man guessed – and all were dreadful. Neither could sit through a single video for more than forty-five seconds, and most of the footage they shot was just of their mouths hanging open in a disturbed shock.

Nonetheless, it was a great distraction. Alex liked feeling like he was helping out smaller channels – even if it was just those who were his friends.

Only as Fraser was cleaning up his equipment and Alex was sitting on the couch playing with Kenji, did James clamber out of bed and stroll out of his bedroom.

"Ow. What was that?" Alex asked in an exaggerated voice when the shiba nipped at yet another one of his fingers. Turning his attention to James, he asked, "Has he been biting a lot recently?"

James answered in his softer and calmer 'tired' voice, "He only bites sometimes. His brain is probably just locked on the idea of food right now; this is around the time Fraser usually feeds him."

"I just wanted a picture for instagram." Alex tried to find a good angle to hold his phone. He pushed Kenji to sit on his lap for a nice picture (which was sure to get hundreds of comments and love heart emojis), but the shiba was far too hyper to sit still. The few useable photos he got were of Kenji biting at and tugging the strings of his hoodie. "Come on, Kenj."

"Reckon he knows what you're doing with your phone, just mugging you off on purpose."

Alex hung around the apartment for the rest of the afternoon: enjoying an ubereats lunch and having James crush him at mario kart...multiple times in a row. The three talked youtube and the continuing aftershocks and effects of the ad crisis, and Fraser asked for feedback on a few video ideas.

An hour or two from sunset, Alex said his goodbyes and caught the train home to his apartment. Upon unlocking the front door, he was met with an interrogation.

"And where have you been all day?" asked George standing with his feet planted shoulder-width apart, and his arms crossed over his chest – the spitting image of a disapproving parent to a reckless teenager.

Smiling his fang-displaying side smile, Alex challenged, "Why do you need to know?"

"Sammy came over to film the opening pokemon cards video, and you weren't here. Neither of us could get a hold of you. Do you even care about my upload schedule?" It was a half-humorous rant with an eerie sense of latent seriousness.

"Phone died." He shrugged, not looking his flatmate in the eye and certainly not wanting to admit the truth – he put his phone on do not disturb earlier that morning, muting most everyone, including George and Sammy.

There was not an ounce of belief in George's expression, "Fine. Where were you, though, for real? You never leave the flat, let alone disappear; almost called Will and got a search team going."

"I was just filming with Fraser." Alex bent over to take off his trainers. There was a click from his shoulder when he did – alarming for such young bones. "We should host something soon."

And he meant soon. As talk of a complete social shutdown, rather than just more public health advisements, dominated news outlets; the thought of non-essential businesses being made to close their doors was frightening. And what was worse than the eking paranoia seeping into every day, was the horrifying realization that the pubs were considered non-essential.

Uncrossing his arms, George's posture shifted to be more normal. His brow furrowed as he seemed to examine his flatmate heavily; even so, he nodded in agreement. "Sure, we could do that."

"Great," Alex chirped and started toward his bedroom.

George grabbed his arm as he tried to walk past him. His hand clasped tight enough that his fingers touched his thumb, and nails would have dug into the pale skin – if he had nails that is. Both men were silent amongst the awkwardness of the interaction.

Sidestepping out of the armlock, Alex waited for George to speak.

"You're doing ok. Right, Al?"

"Yeah. I'm ok."

"But, you'd tell me if you weren't."

"Of course." Alex left to his bedroom. It was in a bad state, but he did not bother himself with picking clothes off the floor or taking food wrappers from his side table to the kitchen bin. He pulled his phone from his pocket and checked for messages: sure enough, there were eleven messages from George: ranging from asking where he was to blaming his laziness for ruining their chance to film.

Alex flopped himself onto his bed and started to scroll through his photos with Kenji. There was not much choice, so he took the least blurry one and posted it to instagram – with a bright filter and a sarcastic caption that took him longer to come up with than he would have liked.

Fifty minutes he spent scrolling through instagram, occasionally checking back to watch the likes on his photo go up and to reply to some of the first commenters. It was mind-numbing in the good and proper sense.

Until he saw it – and it was not his fault, he just happened upon it – and it sent his thoughts into hyperdrive.

A post. A photo. Y/N sitting on her sofa in the dark with the one light source (presumably her television) from behind the camera casting a blue light across her face. One hand clutching the blanket in her lap as the other hand was held up. Jewel-like eyes peering through her fingers and connecting with the camera. A smile playing purposefully on her lips.

If Alex's thoughts at that moment were put into a blender, they might still have come out making more sense than they did in his head. Eyes. Lips. Blue. Watching? Angelic. Eyes. Fingers. Dancing. Blue. Lips. Taste. Lips. Soft. Photographer. Photographer.

Before he might ask for the app to load more photos, Alex's burst of energy and hectic but classic over-thinking was interrupted. From above him came the sound of muffled shouting. He held his breath, stilled as if a prey animal not wanting to be spotted, and focused an ear to the noise.

There were no words he could pick out, but from what he could tell – or from the details he filled in – it was not a light argument of few words but something that might supersede a genuine scrap. And it was coming from Sammy and Y/N's apartment.

As he listened, his imagination wandered. Alex visualized himself, rushing to Y/N's aid and wrapping his thin arms around her in more emotional comfort than physical protection. He saw her turn to him with wet eyes and a red nose before burying her face into his shirt. It would be uncomfortable – as it is to be around distressed people. Yet it would be comfortable – as she would fit against him so well.

Again, his imagination wandered. Alex visualized himself as the one shouting at Y/N and growing angrier as she refused his hard-hitting gaze. He saw her turn to him with wet eyes and a red nose before hiccupping out a sob and dashing from the room. No. That was not right. It was wrong. He would not— could not do that.

2020 in review

I was tagged by @apeironaxiomaton to look back at 2020 and pretty much to try and not hate it so much! Thank you!!

Also I’m stealing the idea of putting everything under a cut, which I have never done in my life (and probably should start doing) bc it makes things neat as heck. Almost none of these are in a particular order.

Top 5 movies I saw this year:

Volevo Nascondermi by Giorgio Diritti - this movie is REALLY good AND I have good memories tied to the protagonist for Reasons I’m gonna cry bye (a shame that I’ve only watched this other excellent movie starring Elio Germano tonight bc it should be on this list)

Emma (2020)

The King’s Speech

Spirited Away or Porco Rosso - I had watched the first before and never the second so I think the fairer choice would be Porco Rosso but I’m not entirely convinced of it

The Wolf of Wall Street - look, I simply have a weak spot for stories that are so absurd they can be nothing but real (see “the other Elio Germano movie”)

Top 5 TV shows I watched this year:

Murdoch Mysteries - it will stay engraved in the first place of EVERY chart in saecula saeculorum and NO nothing can take its place I don’t care

Peaky Blinders

Alias Grace - which I was sure was a movie? I was so shocked to discover it isn’t like was it really six hours long what the

The Queen’s Gambit

Suburra: Blood on Rome - “The series was developed by Daniele Cesarano and Barbara Petronio for Netflix, making it its first Italian-language original television series.” I’ll be honest, some bits were a little bit hmm-inducing. Not the best tv series I’ve ever seen, but it managed to be fun and easy to watch. Suspenseful even!

Top 5 Songs:

So there’s a reason why Spotify said I’m an octogenarian this year and for as much as I complain about it... it’s right... Spotify’s right. And it will only get worse, I’m afraid. All the songs are from the same playlist which was my most listened to (and is the most interesting to share imo). I swear I have listened to other, newer things as well.

Shake That Thing by The Abe Lyman’s California Orchestra

Night Hawk Blues by The Coon-Sander’s Nighthawk Original Orchestra

Where the Sweet Forget-Me-Nots Remember by Merle Johnston and His Ceco Couriers (I’ve loved these flowers since I was a kid it was so nice to find a song with them in the title!!)

Dew Dew Dewey Day by Nat Shilkret

The Panic is On by Mezz Mezzrow And His Swing Band

Top 5 Books I Read This Year:

so this is embarrassing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I “bought” an insane amount of books and read a grand total of...like...t w o. It was actually like four and some short stories (which I hated and are therefore banished from the good boy list) so I’m gonna list my silly little titles and make my silly little comments about them all. From “””””best””””” to “worst” we have:

The Adventures of a Modest Man by Robert W. Chambers - I literally cannot shut up about this book and, yes, it is the one tied to this illustration, about which I equally cannot shut up about. It’s so horrible that it makes a 360 and comes back as good, but not before hitting you with a cardboard tube for a laugh and subsequently stabbing you in the kidneys just because it can. I think we can confidently state that we are in the “I didn’t say it was good, I said I liked it” realm. I have so many questions about this book. Why was it written? Was it taking itself seriously? Was it commissioned by someone? Why is it so gay but only if you know that the author is a man? Maybe it’s a parody? Was it an experiment made by the author to test his own skill? I know jack about literature, unfortunately, so grain of salt here but it made me feel strong feels. Not that I could identify any of them if you asked, but they’re definitely there.

Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot - I’m counting this in bc what is a book if not a patchwork of silly little paragraphs anyway so yes, we have a collection of poems. Not only do I know jack about literature; as a matter of fact, I know jack about poetry as well! All I’m gonna say is: I like cute things, I like cats, the poems were cute AND about cats. I really liked it! I often find myself going back and reading again specific parts just for the delight it is to read them out loud! I also may or may not have named the cats you can adopt in Stardew Valley after some of Eliot’s cats. The movie Cats (2019) did one good thing: making me read this.

How You Can Keep Fit by Rudolph Valentino - Yes, that is correct. A book on fitness written (in English!) by silent movie superstar Rodolfo Valentino. It is less than 100 pages on real, actual exercises that the reader can replicate in the comfort of their own house with little to no equipment. With a sprinkle of old timey manly manner of speaking, a few anecdotes from the author’s childhood in ye merry Italian countryside, a dusting of precious advice against ice-cream, and a dash of genuine intrigue for these newly discovered “vitamins” everyone is talking about. Overall a fascinating read that I treasure dearly! Valentino also wrote a book of poems, which I am absolutely thrilled to read this year.

For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway - Hmm.. I have mixed feelings about this one. Whenever the original language of a book is English, I instinctively want to read it in that language. Because I can! And because that way I get to read exactly what the author wrote. If it was another language, I’d get a translation, make peace with the fact that selling my soul to acquire perfect knowledge of all things is morally questionable, and call it a day. Problem: I’m a sucker for old books. And old books I did find indeed. There were three books by Hemingway for sale, very pretty, and for an almost symbolic price too so I bought them. They are Italian translations from the late 50s and my plan was to go through one in Italian, one in English, and after that, decide in which language to read the last one. I believe it was a mistake for me to start with Italian in Hemingway’s case. He’s known for having a very, VERY peculiar style that is integral to how the novels are perceived and I feel like I've robbed myself of literal peace of mind. For as much as I found the story interesting, I could not ignore the voice in the back of my head that kept wondering “was it necessary to render it like this?”. It did make me feel feels and think thoughts, but honestly? It was partially for the wrong reasons imo. It’s one of those books you should read at least once in your life, I guess, so I’m definitely glad I did it! Surprisingly, it captured me more than I expected and trapped me into its little world. I could clearly imagine the scenes in my head, which hadn’t happened in years! I’m really excited to move on to the next two books and finally be able to say if I appreciate his style or not.

Top 5 positive things that happened to me in 2020:

Visited Rome and took a stroll around on my own (sort of) for the first time in my life. I had never seen it at night :) Right after that I celebrated my birthday and got some cute gifts, including sweets that were sent all the way from Australia!!

Managed to buy my mom a gift, which is possibly the only real Accomplishment of 2020.

Took a bizarre trip this summer (I know, guilty) and fell in love with Slovenia

Discovering I like textile arts kinda gave me hope for myself and for the future. I say kinda for I dare not think concretely of anything too positive lest it should be prematurely taken from me. I shan’t elaborate. It is what it is.

Therapy!!!

The last few months of 2020 really hit me hard whereas in the beginning nothing was too bad so it was nice to see the list growing and growing! So many tiny good things happened and it’s worth to cling onto them. I’m tagging @sonicysuchillydog, @nurmilintunen, @alfonzone and anyone else who’d like to participate!! “Tell them I sent you” lol. Guys.............if you don’t feel like going thru your 2020 feel free to ignore bc......I get it............................

Christmas Cookie Competition

Summary: Matthew and Walter enjoy a moment together before they start making Christmas cookies with their kids.

Word Count: 2230

Read on A03:

Walter and Matthew sat down in their front living room, enjoying the peaceful moment life had given them. Their hands were intertwined as they curled up on the couch and began to talk about all the fun activities they would do.

“I can’t wait for the snow to start really piling high,” Walter leaned his head on top of Matthew’s.

His husband gave a soft chuckle. “The kids are going to have so much fun when it does. We just need to make sure they stay bundled up so they don’t catch colds.” Matthew stared at his husband’s Christmas sweater with large snowflakes on it for a second; red really did look great on him.

“Is there something on my sweater?” Walter asked with a warm smile.

“No, it’s just it looks great on you. That’s all.” Matthew’s words made Walter’s heart flutter.

“Thank you, yours looks great too.” Walter’s compliment made Matthew’s cheeks heat up as he glanced down at his deep blue Christmas sweater. Christmas lights covered the edges circling around the text on it that said “Lucky Member Of An Amazing Family”. The two stared at each then leaned in for a gentle, warm kiss. When they pulled back Matthew leaned his head on Walter’s shoulder.

“Should we tell the kids it’s about time to make Christmas cookies?” Matthew whispered. Walter’s thumb started to rub circles on Matthew’s hand.

“I’m sure they’ll be down any minute now,” Walter felt his heart grow light in that moment, enjoying all the emotions that were brought along with it. Matthew seemed to feel the same as the couple cuddled on the couch.

It was around ten minutes later when they heard a thunk from upstairs by the staircase. Loud footsteps revealed Willy. His wild hair matched the goofy bright green elf Christmas sweater he was wearing. A wide grin was on his face, his body bouncing excitedly on the balls on his feet. “Is it time for Christmas cookies?” Willy’s question made Walter and Matthew share a smile. It looked like their alone time was done. But they were excited to start making cookies with their kids.

“Yep. Could you let your brothers and sisters know?” Walter smiled over at his son who nodded wildly and disappeared up the stairs again.

“Alright boys and girls, it's time for cookies!” Willy’s lively voice made Walter chuckle as he rose up from his spot. The opening of different doors and multiple footsteps made it clear the others had heard their brother.

“Holy shit!” Sophie’s bright voice appeared first followed by her frantic footsteps before she appeared in front of her parents. Her head was currently stuck in the wrong hole of her white Christmas sweater that had red detailing on it. She must have gotten too carried away with her excitement. “I’m almost ready,” Sophie reassured, blindly moving around until she bumped into her older brother James.

“Whoa, careful,” James’ calm voice made the redhead stop in her awkward struggle. He gently helped her navigate through her sweater, guiding her head to pop out of the right spot.

“Whew! Thanks, James!” Sophie smiled warmly at her brother who gave a gentle smile.

“It’s no problem.” James returned the smile. His hands began to readjust his own Christmas sweater, light blue with small reindeer prancing around. He was about to ask his sister if she was excited for Christmas cookies this year when AJ came barreling down the stairs in his red Santa Christmas sweater, nearly running into a wall.

“Careful there, buddy,” Sophie chuckled and ruffled the top of his head.

“Is it cookie making time?” AJ’s eyes looked up into his sister’s.

“Just about,” Matthew replied with a smile. “But AJ, you need to be more careful in the house. I know it can be exciting and that your older siblings might not be setting the best example right now,” Matthew looked over at Sophie and Willy who looked slightly embarrassed, “But still.”

AJ looked down for a moment, his face falling as he gave a nod, but his sadness immediately dissipated when he noticed Tenn and Minnie walking down the stairs together.

“Tenn!” AJ scurried over to his older brother who had donned an evergreen Christmas sweater. Small bells were on the hem of it that gently rang as he descended the stairs.

“Hey, AJ. Ready for Christmas cookies?” Tenn smiled softly at his brother who nodded with enthusiasm.

“Dad,” Minnie called out from the staircase, “Do you need help with preparing the gingerbread?”

“That would be great!” Walter’s voice responded from the kitchen. Minnie moved forward, fidgeting with the edge of her Christmas sweater that looked identical to Sophie’s except the colors were reversed.

“Let’s all help,” James offered and quickly followed Minnie forward to help their dad. Sophie ran behind alongside Willy and AJ before she remembered the rule about running in the house and slowed down. Matthew gave a small laugh at his daughter’s correction while he brought up the rear with Tenn. As soon as the kids and Matthew had joined Walter in the kitchen he began to hand out instructions.

“Alright, we’ll need flour, rolling pins, cookie cutters and of course the gingerbread.” Walter walked over and started up the Christmas playlist that started out with “Jingle Bells”.

Willy scurried to grab the rolling pins along with AJ while James and Tenn walked over and got out the cookie cutters. Walter and Matthew got the flour out and Minnie and Sophie carried the gingerbread from the fridge.

“Who would like the first turn flouring the counter?” Walter looked over at his kids as he preheated the oven. Willy, AJ and Sophie seemed the most enthusiastic about it; all three of them volunteered right away. Matthew chose for AJ to go first with the promise that everyone could have turns rolling out the dough and flouring the counter.

So the family began work on the cookies. Sophie took the first turn rolling out the dough while AJ worked to sprinkle the flour. The rest of the kids started to take out the cookie cutters while Matthew and Walter worked to set up the trays. The couple shared small kisses here and there as they moved throughout the kitchen.

The first portion of dough was soon rolled out and the family started to get to work on cutting out the cookies. James and Tenn seemed rather fond of the Christmas trees and made sure plenty of those were making it onto the trays. Minnie focused on getting the candy canes cut out and AJ made Santas while Sophie and Willy worked to create a small army of gingerbread men. All of their designs couldn’t be made in just the first batch of rolled out dough and so the second kid in charge of rolling out dough was James. He worked with Minnie who scattered the flour to make sure none of the gingerbread dough got stuck on the surface.

Once it was rolled out the kids went right back to work but quickly stopped to give their parents a turn. Matthew got to work cutting out cookies in the shape of stars and Walter focused on reindeers. Before long the first two sets of trays were filled with the different Christmas shapes.

That didn’t stop the siblings from working on more though as they started to sing along with “You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch”. Walter led the singing. His deep voice fit perfectly with the song and he was quickly joined by Sophie and Willy who seemed especially fond of this song. Everyone was singing and humming along to the song, setting aside the cookies and waiting for the trays to clear up as the song moved along.

“The three words that best describe you are as follows and I quote,” Sophie and Minnie said in time.

“Stink. Stank. Stuuuuunk.” The whole family sang along, laughing as a new song began.

Soon the first two trays of cookies were done and James offered to help Matthew set the cookies to cool while Walter worked with Tenn and AJ to carefully place the next batch on the tray and back into the oven. This continued on for quite some time. Quieter Christmas songs began to play which James and Minnie hummed along to together, their voices matching nicely as the music filled the kitchen.

After a while all the Christmas cookies were cooled and siblings worked alongside their parents to make the frosting. Each sibling seemed excited about different colors and Walter and Matthew let them put as much food coloring as they wanted, making some very vibrantly colored frosting. They then worked to place all the bowls of frosting on the table along with the gingerbread cookies.

“I bet I can decorate cookies faster than you can!” Willy smiled smugly at AJ who gave a frown.

“No way, I’m gonna win.”

“Oooo! Let’s have a competition,” Sophie’s eyes danced with excitement.

“Yeah!” AJ and Willy said at the same time, making the others laugh. After a few minutes of setting up, the table was split in two. Half of the table, Willy, AJ, Sophie, and Matthew, were preparing for a heated cookie decorating competition while the other side, Tenn, Minnie, James and Walter, seemed perfectly content to enjoy the process of decorating. That didn’t stop Minnie, however, from getting competitive with her twin sometimes.

“That’s four done,” Minnie stated simply, her smile growing when Sophie looked up with shocked eyes after she’d only finished two.

“Well, I’ve made six!” Willy gave a toothy grin and displayed his masterpieces. All of them had rather sloppy amounts of icing but no one stopped him from continuing on. AJ’s mouth was slightly ajar when he saw the amount his older brother had finished but his eyes soon hardened with determination as he buckled down to finish his fourth cookie.

“Better watch out, little dude.” Matthew smiled over at Willy. “I’m catching up to you.”

Walter smiled over at his husband who seemed to be having the time of his life doing the cookie decorating competition. He glanced over at Tenn who was busy carefully decorating his gingerbread cookie. He had chosen to ice a Christmas tree cookie and had already gotten the deep green on. He was in the middle of putting on the small lights in the form of sprinkles when he noticed out of the corner of his eye that James was icing a reindeer gingerbread cookie. James felt his younger brother’s eyes on him and paused in his decorating to give a gentle smile.

“Wow, your cookie is really good, Tenn.” James’ compliment made a soft smile appear on his brother’s face.

“Thanks, I think yours is great too.”

“Quite the artists,” Walter beamed over at his children.

“I don’t know, I think mine are pretty shitty.” A frown appeared on Minnie’s face when she looked at her gingerbread cookie. The icing was smeared weirdly on it and she had overdone it on the sprinkles.

“I think they looked great. Everyone has their own uniqueness to them,” Walter’s words made all of his kids’ eyes brighten.

“No kidding, we have some serious talent here.” Matthew added. Willy smiled, revealing that he had begun to eat the gingerbread cookies.

“Hey, we can’t eat them until after we finish decorating,” Minnie huffed, a slight pout on her lips.

“I think it's alright if we each have one during this time but then save the rest for later.” Walter’s suggestion was met with agreement as the family continued to work on their decorating. After over an hour had passed all the cookies were decorated.

“Whoa,” AJ looked at Sophie’s cookies, awestruck. “That’s amazing!” The others looked at Sophie’s collection of gingerbread cookies and were surprised to see cookies of themselves there, all eight of them. They were incredibly detailed for gingerbread cookies. She had even gone as far as trying to replicate the sweater that each member of her family was wearing. Sophie became overwhelmed by the different praise that she was receiving even though she felt her heart warm at all the compliments.

“Everyone’s gingerbread cookies look awesome!” Sophie’s words made the others’ smile proudly. The praise began to spread to each member of the family as they worked together to place away the cookies into the cookie jars. After that was complete they gathered around the TV, cuddling up under blankets on the couches. But before long the kids had fallen asleep. Sophie’s head rested haphazardly on Minnie’s shoulder who had two other siblings asleep on her, AJ and Willy. James was asleep in a blanket pile, his arms wrapped around Tenn as he slept. Walter and Matthew looked at their children. Their hearts practically melted with the love they felt for their kids. Every day that these kids had been in their lives they had considered an irreplaceable blessing. But around Christmas time that feeling grew tenfold.

“They seemed to enjoy decorating the Christmas cookies,” Matthew whispered to his husband.

“Yeah,” Walter smiled over at his husband before placing a soft kiss on his lips. “Wanna finish the movie then help me carry them to bed?”

“Sure,” Matthew cuddled up closer to Walter and the pair continued to watch the movie, enjoying the simple joy of family and all the Christmas experiences that came with it.

Here’s An Itemized List of All of Sprinkle’s Music (Sweet Jesus)

This is a list of all music the fictional version of Sprinkle Step released as of now, none of this content belongs to me. All songs go to respective artists, they worked hard on all this music and they deserve full credit for these amazing pieces. First they will be organized by Album in order by artist

Main artists I pick from: Grace Vanderwaal, Alec Benjamin 

Most songs I’ve only heard Nightcored versions. No promise they have the artist because some Nightcore channels don’t provide that and they are small songs with other more popular songs with the same title, so I was unable to find the original

NOTE: This list is not yet complete, its just what I have at the moment. I’m also high key working on a playlist of YouTube of these amazing pieces so yeah

DEBUT ALBUM (Only A Memory)  Theme: In Sprinkle’s debut album he wanted to give listeners/fans a feel of him, and what he’s been through, and what he’s going through. That, while he does work in the pop genre he isn’t gonna produce songs that are typically on the radio by peoples standards of ‘radio worthy music’ 

1. Only A Memory - Icon for Hire Version used: Chino, Nightcore cover

2. Another Empty Bottle - Katy McAllister Version used: Chino, Nightcore cover

3. Silent Scream - Anna Blue Version used: Stellaros, Nightcore cover

4. When She Cried - Britt Nicole Version used:  Miss Warriors, Nightcore cover

5. The Doctor Said - Chloe Adams Version used: Ruby-chan’s Nightcore, Nightcore cover

6. Battle Scars - Lupe Fiasco ft. Guy Sebastion Version used: Rena NC, Nightcore cover

7. Pretending - Alec Benjamin Version used: Unreality, Nightcore cover

8. Leave the Light On - Beth Hart Version used: Beth Hart 

9. Shatter Me - Lindsey Stirling Version used: NightcoreReality, Nightcore cover

10. You Don’t Know - Katelyn Tarver Version used: Chino, Nightcore Cover

11. Welcome to My Life - Simple Plan Version used; Nightcore Zodiac, nightcore cover

SECOND ALBUM (Who You Are) Theme: At this point in Sprinkle’s life, he was recovering from his fathers abuse and finding out more about himself, during this time he wrote and produced a lot of encouraging music so anyone listening who was in a similar situation as he was knew they weren’t alone and had a song artist to relate to

1. Little Me - Little Mix Version used: CUTLoveRx, Nightcore cover

2. Rise - Katy Perry Version used: Sinon, Nightcore cover

3. So Much More Than This - Grace Vanderwaal Version used: Grace Vanderwaal [ORIGINAL MUSIC VIDEO]

4. Things Are Gonna Get Better - NEFFEX Version used: NightcoreGalaxy cover

5. Devil on My Shoulder - Faith Marie Version used: NightcoreGalaxy cover

6. Try - Colbie Collait  Version used: NightcoreReality cover

7.  Human - Christina Perri Version used: NightcoreReality cover

8. Lost Boy - Ruth B Version used: Foxy cover

9. History Maker - Yuri!!! On Ice (You’re welcome, Fangirls) Version used: Nathan Sharp

10. Monsters - Katie Sky Version used: NightcoreGalaxy

11. Who You Are - Anna Clendening (correct me if wrong) Version used: NightcoreReality 

12. Moonlight Version used: Grace Vanderwaal ORIGINAL

THIRD ALBUM (All of Me) Theme: In this Sprinkle was becoming more open about him and Circe, so he decided to take all the unreleased love songs to her and turn them into an albium. But, the sad news is, the album was released aft her untimeluy death. So he added one last song as a grieve song 

1. How Do You Love Someone? - Ashley Tisdale  Version used:  NightcoreReality

2. Don’t Deserve You - Plumb Version used: Sinon

3. Old Friends - Jasmine Thompson Version used: Clari3

4. I Built A Friend - Alec Benjamin Version used: NightcoreGalaxy

5. Please Don’t Go - Joel Adams Version used: NightcoreReality

6. Sad Song - We The Kings Version used: Sinon

7. A Thousand Years - Christina Perri Version used

8. Please Don’t Say You Love Me - Gabrielle Aplin Version used: Sinon

9. Lowlife - Poppy Version used: Rubychan’s Nightcore

10. Weak - AJR Version used: Marimo

11. When You’re Gone - Avril Lavigne Version Used: NightcoreReality

FOURTH ALBUM (Rockabye) Theme: In this its a compilation of all the songs Sprinkle had written in his daughters first few years on the earth. A mix of everything, not all are to Cupcake but most are. He has a mix of rant songs. positive vents, negative vents and just whatever songs he felt like making

1. Idea Of Her - Whitney Woerz Version used: Clari3

2. Voices in My Head - NerdOut Version used: Sinon

3. 7 Years - Lukas Graham Version Used: Nightcore Reality

4. Control - Halsey Version used: NightcoreForFun

5. Rockabye - Clean Bandit Version used: Marimo

6. Scars to You Beautiful - Alessia Cara Version used: Marimo

7. Me and My Broken Heart - Rixton Version used: Marimo

8. They Don’t Know About Us Version used: Sinon

9.  Anti-Gravity - RUNAGROUND Version used: RUNAGROUND

10. Copycat - ???? Version used: NightcoreZodiac

11. Sarcasm - Get Scared Version used: some non scream version of it

FOURTH ALBUM (Fell in Love With My Best Friend)  Theme: After Sprinkle took a small hiatus from music to focus more on his two kids, the fact his father had come back into his life, and his family. He jumped back in with this album he had been developing behind Siren’s back as a confession. Filled with eleven catchy love songs for the unsuspecting friend. 

1. Version used: 

2.  Version used

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4.  Version used

5.  Version used

6.  Version used

7.  Version used

8. Version used

9.  Version used:

10.  Version used

11.  Version used

ALBUM FIVE (The Old Becomes New) 

Theme: This album was a bunch of old songs SPrinkle made but never released. They are all the orginal recordings and everything from his teen years. He compiled them into a album as a sort of throw back

1. My Mothers Eyes - Alec Bengamin Version Used: Alec Benjamin original recording

2. Normal - ?? Version Used: Clari3

3. Why - Sabrina Carpenter Version used:  Extreme Etremeity

4. The Lonely - Christina Perri Version used: Clari3

5. Version used:

ALBUM SIX (Parental)  Theme: Over the years Sprinkle was constantly inspired by his parents (Including Dance) love sotry. Resulting in multiple singles which he eventually turned into an album

1. Last of Her Kind - Alec Benjamin Version used: Alec Benjamin Demo

2. Wolf and the Sheep - Alec Benjamin Version used: Alec Benjamin demo

3. Battle Scars

4. My Mothers Eyes - (I think you can guess) Alec Benjamin

5. The Lonely 

6. To My Parents - Amanda Celndening (Tell me if wrong)

7. Sarcasm - Get Scared Version used: I’m gonna tyr and convince @renegademoka to record herself singing it bcause I’ve heard her sing it and its the exact toen and stuff I want

8. Worst Day of My Life - Alec Benjamin

9. Only a Memory - Idol for Hire

10. Another Empty Bottle 

11. Pretending - Alec Benjamin

12. Leave the Light On - Beth Hart

SINGLES:

Never Enough - Greatest Showman Version used: Extreme Extremity

The Darkness Keeps Chasing Me - Grace Vanderwaal Version used: Grace Vanderwaal 

S.L.U.T - Bea Miller  Version used: NightcoreZodiac (If you find a duet version of this song, please tell me cause I’d love to make this one a duet between him and our precious Mocha)

Little Do you know (Ft. Sollux Crolla) ((Not really Sollux but I’ll sya Alex’s vocals are what he sounds like cause I love Alex’s voice) - Alex and Sierra Version Used: Not yet decided

It don’t mean a thang even if it’s got that twang

By Phill Orphan

Country music is broken.  I’ll be starting elsewhere, but let me start with that.  It’s really the main point.

My own history with country music is odd.  Imagine being a kid in 1980s Long Island listening to country.  While most kids were growing up on Michael Jackson, Madonna, The Cure, Van Halen, etc. I was listening to Alabama, George Strait, and Willie Nelson.

Then, at the age of eight I moved to Florida.  Or rather, I was moved to Florida.  Eight-year olds don’t get to make that sort of decision.  This is when I started getting more exposure to other genres.  Yes, I’d heard some of that in New York, but not nearly as much.

I spent the 90s being aware of the bigger names in country, but I was ignoring it more and more as I started finding my own tastes.  This really took off when I started to play an instrument.  I was rock and roll to the core for years.  Then I discovered synthesizers and electronic music.  Country wasn’t anywhere on my radar.

Then around 2007 I was approached to do a collaboration of country music.  Ultimately the project never saw fruition, but I decided it was time for a country music crash course.  All other projects were put on hold, and my radio was tuned into nothing but country in order to get some idea how I might approach playing it.  What I discovered was some great music.  I also heard classics that I hadn’t listened to in years.

But even at this point, I heard a few songs indicating that something was wrong.  There was a song where the singer used Autotune.  I’m not talking about the more subtle kind that gets used to clean up sour notes, but the steppy effect that was first popularized by Cher in 1998.  I occasionally heard 808 and 909 style drum samples sprinkled in.

The project only saw one song completed, and even that was never properly recorded.  So I directed my attention back toward electronic music.  Some old and new country had been added to my collection, but I stopped paying attention to anything that was current.

Fast forward about five or six years.  I was working on some menial task, and someone had country music playing.  New country.  Since I was mainly focused on the task at hand, I wasn’t paying much attention, but it slowly dawned on me that even though I’d never heard these songs, I was predicting all the chord changes.  And even the general direction the melody was going.

I was so baffled by this.  The country I remember always did its own thing.  Sure, there was always an underlying feel that made the genre identifiable.  But it always stood out, and that made songs memorable.  Now you could cut and paste segments of different songs together, and you’d never know the difference.  This has actually been demonstrated on some Youtube videos.

Country music again faded from my attention.  Then I left Florida.  I moved north and found myself in the Deep South.  You can only do this from Florida.  Naturally, this meant more exposure to country.  Not at first, though.  When I found a job, I was constantly exposed to the current pop scene being piped in relentlessly via a company-wide playlist that was the same at every location.  This is what I meant in the last post about being bombarded by mass produced plastic music everywhere you go.  Thus, I involuntarily became familiar with the junk the kids are listening to these days.  I’m not trying to sound like some dried-up old curmudgeon, here.  There really is scientific evidence that mainstream music is getting worse.

I became familiar with the recycled chord progressions.  I came to know the melodic devices.  The rhythms used.  These songs would get stuck in my head, but they would seamlessly blend into each other.  If I sang or hummed what was playing in my head, I’m sure some kid could point out that I was mixing songs together.

What does any of this have to do with country music?

As I got to know my coworkers, we’d occasionally talk in the break room, and sometimes they’d show me music they like.  This being the South, the music was often country.  Many of my coworkers being young, this was usually new country.  And there were those same chord progressions.  The same melodic devices.  The same rhythms.  I meant it in my last post when I said music is becoming homogenized.  Just about the only way to tell a country song from a pop song now is the accent of the singer.  You could get someone like Ed Sheeran or Justin Bieber to sing the vocal part, and you could easily pass the song off as pop.  You wouldn’t even need to change the instrumental arrangement.

Nashville, you can do better than this.

Trolls

(Angry) This is something I’ve been meaning to write down for a very long time, but I couldn’t quite write everything down for some reason. But I believe I have it down now. There are very few movies that I hate. Honestly, the films that I’ve reviewed on this show don’t even make me that angry. I like to view each bad film as a learning experience for people who want to tell their own stories. Extract the things that work or could use a little touching up, explain where the film fails, and then thank the film for offering something to art. But then are movies like Trolls. At first glance, this film seems like another film that your kids will sing-along to for some months before you finally grab the belt and start wailing away at the children until the only thing that comes out of their mouths is sharp exhales whenever you open your mouth to say literally anything, because they’re so scarred and broken from the beating that anything that comes out of your diseased brain will likely make them jump in fright. Anyway, if you actually take the time to sit down and analyze the film, because when a film’s message is to find happiness perhaps that’s an invitation for people to look at it, you’ll find that the film’s quickly slapped on message is a little more flawed, and a little more dangerous. Kind of like you... you monster. So, Trolls is a film... unfortunately. And it’s one that comes to us from Dreamworks animation. The same guys who brought us How To Train Your Dragon 1&2 and Kung-Fu Panda 1&2. 3 is fine but it’s meh compared to the first two. These were the finest films that Dreamworks has created, and they’re some of my favorite movies of all time. Really, these movies are so good, that thinking about them inspires me. I love the characters, I love the emotional sincerity, I love the animation, I love every single last bit that these movies have to offer. Then I take a few steps back and look at Dreamworks as a whole. Dreamworks is a studio born of spite and anger towards Disney. As a result of that, we got such films such as Antz, made to deliberately screw over Pixar’s A Bug’s Life, and Shrek, a movie that tears apart Disney’s various tropes about its fairytale movies. And then Disney started doing that itself. Oh, no, don’t worry, it’s totally not distracting, you keep breaking your own immersion just to point out that this is not the typical Disney princess movie. What, no, it’s totally within these characters to point these things out, just shut up and get on with the film! And now, I feel either a coincidence or a reaction from Dreamworks about Pixar’s Inside Out. “Hey, their film about colorful small creatures that has themes of emotions and the importance of them did really well, I bet that we can do that too! I want it done in seven months.” Only, with Trolls, Dreamwork’s avaricious tendencies kicked in, and they thought it best to cast pop stars and have most of the film’s soundtrack be tired songs from recent memory that are boring and uninspired at best and insulting at worst. You’re going to notice a lot of comparisons to Inside Out here, because Inside Out and trolls are very similar. Tiny, colorful creatures going on an adventure to rescue something important, and learning a thing or two about emotions. I’m taking a stand against these kinds of movies. Those that decide to make a playlist of songs that were popular for a time and crafts an uninspired movie around it in order to make bank on the soundtrack. They’re selling you things that you already have and could easily make yourself. I do not need five covers of the same song. I don’t need to hear a song I had gotten tired of over and over again. Plot! Trolls escape giant creatures called Bergens. They live their lives in peace and banal harmony for some twenty years until the princess, Poppy voiced by Anna Kendrick of Pitch Perfect fame (because kids totally watched and understood the humor in that movie), throws a big party to celebrate escaping the bergens all those years ago, and then ironically and conveniently gets her closest friends taken to get eaten. And then I was half tempted to leave the theater and not know how the film ended, because I didn’t care about her friends because all I got was this out of them. *farting sprinkles* *dated lingo* *insufferable dialogue* *annoyance* Also as a side note, when Poppy says, “Will you go to Bergentown and help me save everyone?” There was only six trolls that were taken, and several hundred Trolls left, but then later on all the Trolls were taken to be eaten, so I think that while writing the early drafts of the story, the writers opted not to write another draft, they just went back over the previous draft and made slight edits here and there to save on time because when the main gimmick of your film is appealing to a crowd of screaming children by using dated lingo and beating dead horses until your arms give out from exhaustion, time is of the essence because you only have a very limited time to capitalize on the success of others instead of thinking about making your own songs, you’re not Disney and no matter how hard you try, you’re not going to beat Disney, you’re a joke! So, some dated, overrated songs later, we get to the climax of the film which involves the Trolls explaining that they can be happy without eating Trolls. And then they don't adequately explain how the Bergens can be happy or how they even know the neurological properties of a Bergen’s head. Instead, they sing a song that had already been drawn into the street and publically humiliated and then forgotten about. It’s obvious, but the main message is to be happy. Plain and simple, really. However, let’s talk about sadness. What’s the purpose of sadness? Well, despite what you might think and what society explicitly tells us, sadness isn’t just something that happens to us whenever something unpleasant happens to us. Twentieth century compulsory happiness is pretty much trying to drive sadness out of everybody’s heads. As Dr. Heidi Lepper explains in her article, “Sadness Serves a Purpose” quote, “Like all emotions, it is believed that sadness evolved because of its adaptive value, something about it served us well long ago, and we can use that knowledge now to help us cope with it in ourselves and within others.” Unquote. We use sadness in order to slow ourselves down and examine whatever is making us sad in order to deal with the problem. What Trolls tells us is that sadness hinders us. You might think that I’m a terrible villain who wants nothing but sadness and depressing art from films, however, I thoroughly believe that not every movie should be artful and inspired. I have plenty of films that I like despite the fact that they’re nothing movies. “Cloverfield” “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” “Pacific Rim”. And you can also use the age old argument that you throw at people who complain about children’s media, “It’s just a kids film, quit taking it so seriously.” Here’s the thing. When we talk about kids, the next generation of people, they deserve something better than a loud, colorful film that shouts at them constantly. Children deserve better media. They’re the ones who will run the world once we’re all dead and buried. You really want them to take these memories with them? *YouTube kids* *Teen Titans GO* We need quality content for kids. They deserve better. We can’t keep making this garbage for a profit. Our future will lie in the hands of these people. And I’m not saying that every single bit of children’s entertainment should be artful and inspiring. We do need some silly, goofy humor. There needs to be some breathers in between all the heavy stuff. We as human beings can’t handle that kind of stress all the time. But quite frankly, there needs to be more serious stuff for kids out there. Why can’t there be more mainstream kids movies out there that make the kid feel something other than happy? We have other emotions for specific purposes. Pushing them out in favor of happiness is dangerous. Trolls even accidentally contradicts itself. It shows unhappiness as a bad thing, but in the climax of the movie, when all the trolls lose their colors, Branch is inspired to help all of them. That was Branch using sadness in order to make them all willing to try and escape. Which was the message that Inside Out had. Of all the problems that the current generation has, compulsory happiness is certainly one of them. We push out anything that’s sad out of our heads, we purposely avoid negative art because that would make us be negative, and we even make sure that people who are sad are happy when they really need to be sad. They need that sadness in order to figure out where things are going wrong. Our negative emotions have purposes. Fear keeps us safe, anger makes us aware of the unfair things about the world, without lust then we wouldn’t be able to procreate and give children, suspiciousness makes us aware of shifty people, etc etc. The line that makes me the angriest is a line from the Russell Brand character. He says, “Some people just don’t want to be happy.” No no no no no no no no no, and f**k you. There are several factors that influence unhappiness, such as an unfair system, see happiness industry, mental problems that stop the flow of certain hormones, physical and mental abuse, I could go on but I need to make a point. There is not a single person on this planet that chooses to be unhappy. There are those who have a bad attitude, but that is never a choice they have a choice in. Something made them make those choices, they are not unhappy simply because they want to be. That line also implies that people who are unhappy have something wrong with them. There are some that really do have something wrong with them, but those who don’t suffer from anything serious, they believe that sadness is something to be avoided at all cost, not realizing the purpose of it, because they won’t let it do its job right. As I said, there are lot of factors that influence unhappiness, it’s not because people hate everything and choose to be unhappy. We all find happiness in different ways. Just because somebody doesn’t like what you like, it doesn’t make them unhappy. Also, what about that little kid who feels sad all the time. He doesn’t quite know why, but that’s something that he needs to deal with. Imagine him seeing this movie and being hurt and confused when the movie tells him to be something he can’t be. But the bottom line here is that life is hard. Life is really hard. Films like these aren’t going to help with that. They’re going to paint life as a happy skip and hop. There may be some adversity, but if you always keep a smile on and March through the hard times, then life will be just peachy. What about the times when being happy didn’t work for you? Nobody goes through life completely happy. Everybody has their trials. But kids wouldn’t know that, because they weren’t adequately prepared for that. A little sadness here and there is not inherently bad. It really isn’t. It’s how you handle it that might be the problem. I truly hate Trolls. It stands against everything I’ve stood for in the past three years, and it’s a garbage fire in all other respects. There hasn’t been any other film that has made me this angry. Die in a fire. I’m All of the Above, thanks for reading.