#Wail of the Silent
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Wail of the Silent 2/?
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TW: this chapter mentions suicide and thoughts of self-harm. Proceed with caution. Do not read if this triggers you
Danny Fenton, aka Phantom, flew over the smog-ridden city. It was cloudy, the sky threatening to release rain. He couldn’t see the stars.
(Not that it was possible to see them in the crime-ridden city.)
He had finally reached Gotham City.
“Of all the places Spectra could’ve run off to, it just had to be Gotham.”
Of course, considering all the city's misery, it made sense that Penelope Spectra would find her way there.
“Now I have to dodge the stupid Bats while looking for her.”
Still, as much as he grumbled, he was responsible for protecting people from ghosts. Ever since he told his parents the truth two years ago, they more or less accepted him (even while they kicked him out of the house.), and he had had more time to capture ghosts.
They gave him gadgets and access to the portal (as long as they supervised.) and paid for his apartment while giving him some money. And, bonus, they no longer shot at him and didn’t want to dissect him.
(Did they love him, though? They had kicked him out of his only home when he was eighteen…)
Thankfully, Danny had been able to make his patented inventions that focused on protection from ghosts instead of offensive weapons, so he was getting some income from that. After all, the people of Amity Park would rather have something that protected them than fight ghosts.
He had been able to graduate high school, but he couldn’t go to college. Jazz was encouraging him to take some courses in community college. She argued that since his parents were helping with capturing ghosts (and releasing them instead of experimenting on them.), he should at least think about doing more than ghost hunting.
He couldn’t. Danny had a responsibility to Amity Park. Besides, he had powers; he couldn’t not use them to protect his town. It was his fault the ghosts were coming through in the first place.
If I hadn’t opened the portal…if I hadn’t been a stupid teenager…
The portal was mainly closed now, but natural portals spawned almost weekly in Amity Park, allowing any ghost to get through. This time, Spectra had come through again. She had caused havoc in Amity Park. Three had died, two by their own hands by the time he had figured out that Spectra had had a hand in it. When she figured out Danny was after her, Spectra fled Amity Park.
So, he followed her.
At the moment, he had left Amity Park in the hands of the Red Huntress and his little more capable parents. Spectra was not a ghost that should be allowed in the mortal plane. He’s seen what happens when she feeds on someone too long.
(He could still see the shadow of a hanging body…)
Danny made it invisibly to the top of the tallest building he could find. Wayne Tower was in the middle of an island Danny had found out was called Old Gotham. (Thank you, Google Maps.) He could see the city sprawl in front of him. Danny decided to remain invisible in case any Bats were around. He knew he wasn’t a meta (he was dead, it was a medical condition), but he was sure Batman wouldn’t see it that way.
Looking at the city before him, Danny had no idea where to start. There were so many angry shades and ghosts hanging around that he couldn’t pinpoint Spectra’s unique ectosignature with the Ecto-finder he had with him. And Danny’s ghost sense was useless as it kept going off every other street.
Danny sighed. He decided to go in a random direction when he heard it—no, he felt it.
A ghost was wailing in pain. It was broadcasting its agony and torment to every ghost, shade, and Danny. The wail turned into a roar before suddenly cutting off. The silence that followed left Danny feeling disoriented.
Danny went in the direction that the ghost had projected its pain. He had to help. No one should have to deal with that suffering alone. Besides, if he could feel it, Danny knew Spectra would pinpoint the misery still coating the air.
Danny flew into the night, determined to help.
____
Jason got up, knowing he couldn’t sleep any longer that night.
His shoulders curved inward from the heavy feeling he felt on his back.
(Spectra smiled as her shadowy hands held onto Jason’s shoulders.)
He started making a cup of tea when his feelings reached a crescendo. The cup Jason was holding on to hit the floor and broke. Jason stared at the shattered pieces and felt the sudden urge to use one to stop the crawling under his skin.
(Spectra amplified the need to hurt himself. She smiled as the boy’s emotions fed her powers.)
It was only Jason’s stubbornness that stopped him from doing it. He ignored the broken pieces of glass and sat on the couch. Silent tears left tracks on his cheeks. He wanted his dad, his family—anyone to stop what he was feeling.
He felt he was going insane!
(Spectra smiled and inwardly hoped the boy would last longer than her other victims. His misery made her youthful quicker than any other victim, and more powerful.)
Just as Jason felt his mind was going to break, the feelings went away suddenly, leaving Jason panting hard.
(Spectra felt when Phantom got close and left.)
Jason pulled his hair, wanting, needing the physical pain to ground him to the present.
What was happening to him?
(Spectra smiled as she stared at her reflection at a random window. Her skin was glowing, and her face was free of wrinkles. Spectra’s hair was shining and luxurious. Yes, she hoped the boy would last a while.
Her smile grew as the ghost boy flew overhead, completely missing her.)
____
Though the city of Gotham seemed like a cruel, cold mistress, she cared for her people in her way.
Every vile villain, hero, anti-hero, and citizen was welcomed into her dark and shadowy bosom. The shades and ghosts who had lived and died in her dark alleys and streets knew their mistress would take care of them.
So, when a new ghost showed up and started targeting one of her knights (not just any knight but the one who had been born in her old buildings, the one who had been raised and shaped in her streets. The one she could not save as he had died so far from her soil.), she felt a visceral anger deep in her being.
How dare this spirit come and target her favored knight? She would not let the ghost get away from it. Lady Gotham let her consciousness spread throughout the city, trying, needing to find a way to help…There! A young half-ghost, looking, searching, wanting to help.
She guided the young ghost to her knight—the one who had suffered at the hands of the Joker and his father. (Even now, she doesn’t protect Bruce Wayne as much as she used to, only if it was necessary. The shadows of the city no longer covered him as tightly as they used to.)
She would do whatever she could to help Jason Todd.
The last part was a surprise to me. I hadn't intended to make Gotham a sentient city, but she decided to come screaming out in full force. Yes, Lady Gotham is holding a grudge against Bruce for hurting Jason.
#wail of the silent#dc x dp#dp x dc#tw: mention of s#uicide#tw: mention of self-harm#tw: depression#tw: PTSD
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A question I have just recently,
can Sebek handle spicy?
this is what i generally think of fae.
tho i think,
lilia knows spicy spices from his travel.
even tho in dragon form, malleus breathes fire from his mouth, and fire is hot, it might be like the kind of fire that doesn't hurt him in the first place
sebek father might bring spicy spice from human world with him, but since i think of him as a mellow man, he might not be interested in spicy food in the first place
#honestly it makes me wonder all the nrc students ability to handle spiciness & i wish everyone would start putting them into tiers#twst#twisted wonderland#do i tag this as sebek#i do want to know what others think of him#sebek zigvolt#i think the octas would be very bad at it#but floyd probably keeps on challenging it so he gains tolerance over it#riddle would be very bad with it#ace would be pretty good#but deuce would be a little less#or do u think punk him would dare other punks on spicy food#who would shed tears#who would break a sweat#who would eat like it's nothing#who would wail asking the great seven to take them to the after world#i am just wondering bcs of the rabbit sausage roll in deuce hometown#leona who never lift a finger finally break a sweat from spicy food#who knows we even see tears in his eyes while he endures it silently#can vil stay beautiful eating spicy food#despite his tough claim can epel handle spicy#anyhow do u know there's samyang 1/2 spicy now#that's the only one i can eat without suffering like actually enjoying it#idia i feel like he would wrinkle from spicy food#but what if he is some connoisseur of instant noodles so he had been eating spicy ones quite a lot#my brother always love to see me suffer over spiciness
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no no you guys don't get it. the x files cancer arc was, excuse the pun, a fucking white whale of a tv plotline that would not have worked nearly as well on literally any other show. it was a complete hail mary. the writers' room nearly didn't make it happen because they were worried it would fall too deeply into soap opera territory. and on any other show, it would! but the x files is about four key things: mistrust in the government, faith in both science and the otherworldly, building a life around trauma, and the fine line between love and codependency. it is the only show where the entirety of this situation- a government experiment on an unwilling young catholic leads to a terminal illness that is counteracted by a literal scientific miracle in the eleventh hour due to her partner's refusal to accept her impending death- could both happen at all and happen well. none of the themes in the cancer arc were new to txf at all. they'd all been lurking, to some extent, in the background since the pilot. the cancer arc wasn't merely milking a left-field catastrophe for the drama, it shoved the overarching themes of the show to the front and said look. look what these people are to each other. look how impossible it is to face the darkness alone. regardless of when the plotline was conceived, it was always going to happen. it was the only way the story could have ever gone. they were always doomed from the beginning
#the writers also- and this is going to be a very unpopular opinion i'm sure- did themselves HUGE favors#by keeping mulder & scully still SO emotionally uptight and miscommunicative even though it would be so easy not to#because it feels REAL. this is how these characters would really react to these circumstances#they wouldn't suddenly become all sappy. they wouldn't talk to each other. they wouldn't know HOW#mulder would always just grieve and grieve and grieve and throw his life away to save her#wail silently into her bedclothes so his anguish doesn't burden her further#and scully would always insist that she's fine. she wouldn't leave him for anything not even her own health#she would never be able to tell him that she's scared of what he'd do when she was gone. she loves him far too much#anyway. is this coherent#arwen.text#the x files
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horror media scraps as we leave spook season 💔💔
#alliebirb art#in order:#lisa from pt silent hills#módr from the ritual#hyo-jin from the wailing#the hunt from magnus archives#I LOVE HORROR SMMMM I SHOULDVE DRAWN MORE THIS MONTHH 😭😭😭#tw horror#pt lisa#silent hill#pt silent hill#the ritual#the wailing#tma#the magnus archives#tma the hunt
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None of us are getting out of this alive are we…
Therapised Eddie feeling all the feelings and screaming bucks name - yeah I’m already on my way to ascend to the astral plane
#I’ve a been rendered speechless#like I have no words to describe what I’m feeling right now#so I’m never making it through Monday night#there’s going to be a moment when 911blr and buddieblr falls silent in collective shock isn’t there#before we all start wailing#911 spoilers#911 on fox#911 fox#911onfox#eddie diaz#evan buckley
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cockblocked
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scrambled thoughts about s4 bc I'm losing my goddamned MIND
just finished s4 of Doctor Who. quick question: how the hell do you go on without Rose Tyler? I can't even imagine I literally. what.
like once s3 rolled around I really fuckin realized I was apparently very much watching this show for ROSE and her dynamic with the Doctor, not the Doctor himself or whatever else lmaoo
ONLY Rose has made me bawl my eyes out, let alone even tear up at all. I just can't even fathom being able to connect with any other plot or character like I did with her and her love for the Doctor.
I just ohh for all of s3 most of s4 I just missed her so much??? like Martha and Donna are great (well, I didn't like Martha at first and you can definitely guess why based on all of this but once s4 rolled around she was great!! loved her) but oh my god they were just no Rose Tyler.
plus WOW I really got so attached to her relationships with other people?? like Donna and Martha's families n whatnot made me feel NOTHING whereas I could not get enough of Jackie and adored Mickey (Mickey is family. he is. I don't care if he's her ex or whatever. he's part of the family). Captain Jack Harkness my one true love (btw just sayin I really think Rose and the Doctor should've gotten a hello kiss. maybe not the Doctor he did not deserve one for leaving Jack but Rose did!! hello!!! you gave them "I'm going to go die" kisses give them "hello we're all still alive missed you" kisses!!!). idk if maybe I was just so clocked out of s3-4 that I missed something but I swear those two just had like no really compelling personal relationships outside of the Doctor, and maybe like one specific family member (lookin at you, gramps).
the fact that Rose ended up liking Martha and Donna though??? dfindsnjdj dying dying DYING I love that she would've been friends with them both. they deserved to all sit and gossip about the Doctor like she did with Sarah Jane right in front of his face.
also oh my god no one why why why please PLEASE I'm not used to consuming sad media I try and avoid it as much as possible and this show is just. just. oh my god.
Rose is so close to what she truly wanted. she'll have a life with the Doctor, but not her Doctor and not the life she fought so hard to get back. instead she's still still still stuck in Pete's World, unable to travel across time and space and save the universe with her Doctor (and don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Tentoo, but it just rubs me the wrong way no matter how I try and look at it. it feels like when a character's memories are erased. they're still technically themselves, but something important is missing all the same. and that thing missing is the TARDIS in this case Tentoo is the best thing she could've gotten lol). I feel like I can't even adequately put it into words why her ending makes me as upset as it does I just hope you Get It. I don't think it would've been good for her to not have ANY other solid relationships like she would've had if she'd gone with the Doctor but also oh my god. oh my god.
and the Doctor is once again without his brilliant, fantastic Rose.
I really hope she doesn't come back though unless it's on her own terms, because she missed her friends or smth. I really hope she's able to travel the world and it be enough for her as long as she's got Tentoo by her side. I really, really hope she's happy and fully in love with Tentoo and they are living the BEST life they can.
Fuck. this SHOW.
#if this is incomprehensible well. ngk. that's how my brain feels rn#came for David Tenntant but stayed solely for Rose Tyler <3#I'm still gonna try and watch on but I won't be too surprised if I end up dropping it#I need it to be known my reaction to JE was so violent and loud I thought for a second cops were going to be called on me#I didn't just shout or cry or anything I SCREAMED ahahaha it sounded like someone was being MURDERED#the only reason Doomsday didn't have me toppling over putting holes in my walls was because I wasn't alone I stg#do you know how hard it is to silently sob?? I am not good at it. in fact I am so bad I couldn't I wailed I wailed#I did not cover everything here but I got the gist of most of it#so sorry martha and donna but I just. whew. I just did not care at all#timepetals#tenrose#tentoorose#tenth doctor#rose tyler#tentoo#doctor who
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Here’s a list of all the Kdramas/Korean movies that I watched in 2023 + some of my thoughts (spoiler free)
The Glory
-Gonna be honest, I only started watching because Kim Hieora and Jung Sung Il are in this show.
-But I ended up really liking it. The bullying scenes were horrifying, the characters were memorable, and overall it was very well made.
Stranger
-HWANG SIMOK! I love him so much! BAE DOONA! I love her so much!
-I loved all the characters and all the twists
Stranger 2
-This season was good too. Seeing the dynamics and relationships between all the characters change was so interesting
Unlocked
-IM SIWAN! The reason why I watched this movie <3
-Is it the best and most unique movie? No. Was it pretty good and entertaining? Yeah!
All Of Us Are Dead
-Even in the zombie apocalypse they’re not free of bullying.
-My heart broke many times. Those poor kids didn’t deserve to go through all of that! (Except Na Yeon. I still don’t like her.)
The Glory Part 2
-Not the typical type of revenge. But I think it’s a very fitting ending.
Physical 100
-This show inspired me to start taking better care of myself.
-Watching everyone hype up this show so much then watching all the controversies come out in real time was crazy. Looking forward to season 2
Kingdom
-This show was on my radar because that zombie dude from Physical 100 said he did the choreography
-I love all of the characters and the zombies were so freaky
Kingdom 2
-The Queen might’ve been the scariest part of this show
-I love this show, season 3? Maybe?
Kingdom: Ashin of the North
-Han Ho Yeol from DP?!?!
-It was really interesting seeing another side to this story
Silent Sea
-BAE DOONA! GONG YOO!
-I don’t understand why this flopped. I really liked this show!
Siren: Survive The Island
-I was team athlete til the end! (I thought Kim Seong Yeon was hot)
-If there isn’t a season 2 I’m going to fight Netflix
Misaeng
-Im Siwan <3
-I really like this show. It really gave me hope and it honestly inspired me to work harder. I’m also trying to learn to play baduk
D.P. 2
-So many emotions. The ending left me feeling a bit empty. I’ve grown so attached to these characters and now it’s just over.
The Wailing
-I think I need to watch this a second time to really analyze it.
-I really like the sfx makeup
Monster
-Accurate representation of neurodivergent people/mentally disabled people? No.
-Interesting villain and fight scenes? Yes
Hide and Seek
-I really liked the twist and how eerie the vibes were
Memoir of a Murder
-I love unreliable narrators. Not knowing what’s real and what isn’t really puts you on the end he of your seat
-Also I didn’t even realize that was Kim Nam Gil
The Policeman’s Lineage
-I only watched this for Kwon Yul
-Decent story but I feel like it fell short of its potential
Hansel and Gretel
-Solid start but I didn’t realize that it was going in the direction that it did
-Not the ending that I expected but I’m satisfied with it
Ballerina
-Honestly, they were so over dramatic when it came to the bdsm stuff. Like okay, he’s kinky. That’s the least concerning thing about him.
-My mom got me to watch this because she likes Kim Ji Hoon
The Mimic
-Interesting concept with interesting characters
-The ending was so fitting, I’m very satisfied with it
Champion
-Another movie I watched for Kwon Yul
-I really like this movie, it’s very comforting and funny
Mother
-This is a cautionary tale, you cannot tell me otherwise!
-I was SHOCKED! It was just so sudden. I don’t know how to explain it without spoiling what happened.
Sweet Home 2
-Interesting. I’m not sure what I expected from this season but this wasn’t it.
-I found it entertaining but I’m not quite sure if I like how they’re approaching this new thing that they’re doing.
#bob is talking#kdrama#the glory#stranger kdrama#unlocked#all of us are dead#physical 100#kingdom kdrama#the silent sea#siren: survive the island#misaeng#dp kdrama#the wailing#monster 2014#hide and seek 2013#memoir of a murderer#the policeman’s lineage#Hansel and gretel 2007#ballerina 2023#the mimic#champion 2018#mother 2009#sweet home
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Wail of the Silent 3/?
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Danny took out his phone to see where he ended up.
“Park Row?”
He put away his phone to shield it from the pouring rain and took in the ambient ectoplasm in the air. The area he was saturated in corrupted ectoplasm. The shades and spirits here were darker and full of pain. It made the other areas of Gotham seem downright sunny by comparison.
Danny couldn’t pinpoint the spirit that had let out that ungodly wail, but he was determined to find them and help. Nobody deserved to be alone with those emotions ready to burst.
Now if he could only figure out which way to go…
“What the hell is that?”
In the distance, Danny saw a glowing purple shadow. Out of curiosity, and because he’s Danny, he followed it. Danny couldn’t get closer to the shadow, no matter how much or fast he flew.
Eventually, he ended up in front of an old building that seemed abandoned. There was a horde of spirits around the building. All the spirits turned at the same time to look at Danny.
They all used their core at the same time.
Help him, the cores hummed; he’s the avenger of the dead. He protects the living. Help him move on like he’s helped us.
All the spirits disappeared, and the street got eerily quiet. Danny stared at the building. The building was full of gloom and despair, even with the other spirits gone. Danny took an unneeded grounding breath and entered the building.
In complete contrast to the outside, the inside of the building was new and clean.
The feeling of despair was stronger, and Danny gagged at the corruption around him. How did any ghost survive this way?
Danny didn’t talk out loud. He let his core hum and project feelings of reassurance and acceptance.
(The spirit felt lonely and rejected.)
Danny floated to the second floor and looked around the rooms. The first one had a bunch of computers and wrappers strewn all over the floor. Danny floated into the next room and found it empty except for a bed and closet. He went into the closet. He found a secret door and went through it. Danny found a bunch of weapons that ranged from guns to swords and knives. There was also a red helmet that looked vaguely familiar, a suit that had a red bat on it and was made of a rigid material that was obvious protection.
It suddenly clicked. This is what Red Hood, one of the Bats, wore. Fuck!
Danny turned invisible and left the hidden room. He was about to leave when the feelings got even stronger. It felt like he had been suckered punch. Danny curled into himself and tried to keep himself from crying. How did anyone, human or spirit, deal with this? It was making Danny feel like he was going crazy!
Even though Red Hood was human, he was definitely feeling these negative emotions that were probably driving the man insane.
Danny stayed invisible and decided to let his core hum.
I’m here to help, it said, where are you?
Lonely, pain, I’M SO ALONE, the spirit yelled out.
Danny followed the screams and ended up in a living room. He saw a broken China cup on the small kitchen floor, a brown liquid cooling on it.
Danny followed the pain to the couch. He was shocked back to visibility.
Before him was another halfa. How? When? Why didn’t they know about this halfa?
The other halfa was crying. For some reason, he wasn’t making any noise. Honestly, if it weren’t for the pain coming from his (stunted, corrupted) core, Danny wouldn’t know what the man was saying.
A hum came from the man’s core. The hum was full of anguish, and Danny felt his heart and core go out for the other halfa.
Danny picked up the man and put went to the bedroom. He put the other halfa down and studied him with a critical gaze.
The man was wearing a thin pair of sweatpants and a black T-shirt. He had black hair with a white streak through it. His hair was plastered to his face, from tears or sweats, Danny didn’t know. (Maybe it was both.) His eyes were an ectoplasm green that was glowing with pain. He was tall but still shorter than Danny. He had muscles that spoke of training and strength. What got Danny’s attention were his scars.
His body was littered with them, but the one that angered Danny was the one on his throat. It had obviously been a deep wound and the likely reason the man didn’t make a sound even as his mouth opened in silent cries.
He was young, maybe the same age as Danny’s twenty years. Maybe a little older or a little younger. Danny didn’t know, but even without the other halfa’s core broadcasting the pain deep in the man’s soul, Danny could tell he had been through a lot.
Danny started humming through his core, making it as loud as possible.
Safe. I’m here. You’re safe.
The other halfa responded, tired, scared. Alone, so alone. Pain, pain, pain, PAIN!
Shh, he answered, I won’t leave.
Danny started chirping, hoping the melodies he was producing mixed with the humming and feelings of reassurance he was emitting would be enough to help the other halfa down. Danny stood there, keeping sentinel over the other halfa, chirping, and humming.
The other man would answer back, and eventually, his face relaxed from his pain.
The man looked at Danny in disbelief.
Pretty, he chirped, angel?
Danny wanted to laugh. Him pretty? An angel? Never!
Friend, he chirped back.
The man signed something, but Danny didn’t know sign language. ‘What a pity,’ he thought to himself.
The man stared at Danny, and Danny stared back.
Jason was dreaming. It was a good dream. The anguish he was feeling had calmed down some. It was more bearable. And he had an angel looking over him.
The angel had white hair that defied gravity and soft, glowing eyes. He knew he should be scared (they were the color of the Pits.), but the man was emitting chirps and hums that calmed Jason down. He had light blue skin and pointed ears. There were glowing freckles on his face that reminded Jason of starlights. They even twinkled in and out of existence like the stars in the sky. Jason didn’t know if he was imagining them, but it also looked like the freckles were clustered in the shape of constellations.
‘Are you an angel,’ he signed, ‘you’re very pretty.’
“Sorry, dude, I don’t know sign language.”
Jason felt a hum surrounding him like a soft blanket.
Friend, it said, safe. I hear you.
How? He asked. Jason was mute. How did the angel understand him?
Like me, he answered back, we’re the same.
Jason gave a silent snort. He was far from being an angel.
Jason heard a chirp and looked back at the mysterious being.
Rest, he chirped, I’ll be here to keep the nightmares away.
Please, Jason chirped back, I’m so tired.
Close your eyes. Sleep.
Jason let his eyes slide shut to the feeling of safety surrounding him.
Avenger, the spirits had called him. Protector. But who was here to avenge and protect the other halfa? No one. Well, Danny was going to fix that.
Miles away, still in Gotham but far from Park Row, Crime Alley, Batman was not having a good time.
First, the Penguin had been able to see him even as he hid in the shadows. Then he was hit by a few bullets. They didn’t pierce his armor, but they hurt like hell. Then the rain started pouring. Thunder boomed, and lightning danced in the sky, wiping away any evidence Batman could use on the Penguin.
(Lady Gotham was furious at the moment. Jason’s pain was making her fuse short on her Dark Knight. Batman wouldn’t die, no, but he would be punished.)
As Batman stared out at the city of Gotham, he couldn’t shake the feeling of despair he was feeling. He couldn’t go home yet; something big was going to happen.
(He didn’t know his son was close to losing his sanity.)
He had to protect his city.
(Gotham was too angry at Batman to appreciate her knight.)
In Crime Alley, Jason, a newly discovered halfa, slept for the first time in a long time with no nightmares. Hums filled the air around him. Finally, the silence was broken.
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you can read “six fragments for atthis” after midnight on what still feels like a monday night, but watch out
#‘i loved you atthis. years ago when my youth was still all flowers and sighs’#‘the sun-licked ring of your neck’#‘on more than one occasion (there were two of them to be exact) while i looked on#too silent with adoration to say your name’#out here (in my bedroom) wailing about it#sappho#poetry
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all I have left of the fic is the two paragraphs I used as inspiration for fanart a while back...
#and that one tweet of me getting emotional over one of my favourite quotes from the fic#and how it touched my heart in such a tremendous way#literally clawing my pillow silently screaming and making awful clicky throat noises rn#if it weren't for the fact it's 2.50am and i don't have the luxury of living on my own i'd be wailing like a banshee at full volume rn
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jaren waiting for his husband to come back from the war (therapy)
#at the end of the tunnel..#the light is .. Jaren#his excited little giggles and exuberance has captivated me#the way he got so hyped 😭😭#jaren raised a random champagne glass and dinged it with a dainty little spoon when they got back to locker room#to try and make the room silent (it didnt work. he had to get desmond to tell everyone to shut the hell up)#before millennial pausing and going '.....i missed this.'#ja who was listening to nba yb in his airpods the whole time : shoot you n yo boy n whoever arou-#ja didnt push jaren against a wall and start pentrating him anally at mach speeds but this is an ok substitute i guess#/livid /engulfed with rage /fuming /KILLYOSEL#jarens enthralled lil wail as he spins around like a purse dog getting peanuts at a circus#goot lort jarebear#keep it in the bedroom#what no penis does to a mf#ja#jaren
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Woopsie,, 4am breakdown, I think I didn't muffle my silly goofy sobs quite enough, because after a lil bit my mom startled awake and was like 'who's calling for me?? are you okay???? what do you need??'
I had to go reassure her that everything is all good, no one was yelling her name, it's 4am just go back to sleepies, there are two (2) cats in your bed who need sleepy snuggles,
She told me she must've dreamt about someone needing her help, and she woke up heart pounding ready to fly out of bed. rip
#pikaposts#i sound so stupid when i cry it's fucking. high-pitched wails caught between silent shuddering gasps#do you know how hard it is to cover up those high-pitched wails!!! i'm out here practically suffocating myself with my bedding#i'm fine btw i'm just 22 and lamenting my lost health. you know how it is#can barely walk into the kitchen these days and am grappling with a Decision that's pretty. humiliating to me.#like it shouldn't be! it happens with disabled people sometimes! but if i agree to it i just know i won't be able to look at it#i'll have to like. cover it with a towel or something. and there's no way i'll be able to set things up myself so#i'm just. gonna have to embarrassingly rely on my mom I guess.#i say 'if i agree to it' but really i'm kind of out of other options. i can't manage things all on my own#bc something is wrong with me! and nobody here can quite piece it together#everybody throws around 'ehlers-danlos syndrome' but nobody here knows what it Means or what to do about it#i have to move to a different state asap because i need access to more advanced health care. sigh#but 'asap' is shaping up to be. next year maybe. i have to stay here for another year or so.
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Amusing myself imagining the Scions out eating at a place with adventurer open mic night to suddenly hear a rather familiar voice start wailing away lyrics as ROCCATS take the stage.
#kea lurvis#the twins are both stunned silent#alphinaud didnt even know kea sings#alisaie did but has never seen the full act#urianger asks if yshtola knew kea was going to be there#she answers of course she did#thancred asks if the wailed lyrics about love and longing are about her#yshtola answers of course they are
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you know when you consume a specific piece of media and it just makes you feel so completely unhinged that you have to admit you might temporarily be entirely unfit for society. like i’m sorry but this thing makes me feel feral. it turns me into a feral little boy
#i watched the my school president trailer again and when it finished i just started silently screaming.#and i just don’t think i should be put around people in these circumstances#they’ll try to ask me about something like the weather and i’ll wail about the perils of competing in hotwave#and u know what’s worse.#tuesday is gonna come around and we’re gonna do this all over again for nlmg#I’M DOING A MID WEEK SWITCH OF THINGS I’M BEING FERAL OVER#maybe by the time MLC rolls around i’ll feel more chill about it all#haha.
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agony writhing agony blood and guts and stuff
#june lsat scores were released#and i KNEW it was going to be bad with all the technical problems but... jesus christ#i was going to have to retake anyways but :(((((((((#blueprint was such shit too so i need to actually figure out how to study effectively#because their 'drilling' model just. didnt fuckin help me on logic games at all#part of me is just tempted to wait until 2024 and see if they remove the lg section entirely#part of me knows thats dumb#ugh im just. so sad and tired.#studying made me such a husk of a person last time and now i have to do it again. agony.#crying screaming throwing up wailing pounding the floor [sitting silently at my desk]
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