#WHO HAVE I BECOME
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Hellooo I'm back sooner than expected! I had a drawing marathon bc I want to post part 7 in two weeks for cruel irony purposes (Merlin fans might have an idea)
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#good omens#bbc merlin#aziraphale#crowley#magic omens au#art#comic#I cant tell if Undead!Crowley is an abomination or kind of funny#maybe both#I ended up drawing ten (10) (!!!) pages and for what?#an action scene#who have I become#long post
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Well, I did say this was a multi-fandom blog... Alright, let's do this.
The Qing Jing Peak Lord's Bamboo House
(and the symbolism therein, as recorded in the donghua)
I was snooping through the establishing shots of the Qing Jing Peak Lord's Bamboo House, and had to laugh as I always do at all the gay symbolism that managed to sneak its way inside. But then I looked a little closer, and was floored by just how much passive storytelling was packed into background assets. I talked about it at length over discord, and at the urging of others decided to make a shareable post on social media as well.
First, the shots which first piqued my interest in this topic years ago:
Shen Yuan transmigrates into the stallion-genre webnovel entitled 狂傲仙魔途 (translated as Proud Immortal Demon Way). The author's and his own usernames are dick jokes.
Notice the chrysanthemum vase, the cock vase, and the stallion statuette.
The stallion and cock are obvious nods to these jokes on their own, but for the uninitiated, the chrysanthemum is a symbol of gay sex between men, as the asshole itself is often euphemistically referred to as a chrysanthemum. This should have been Shen Yuan's first clue that not all is as it seems here! These are the personal quarters of Shen Jiu — the original Shen Qingqiu!
But let's move to the main room you first walk into upon entering the bamboo house.
There it is: the writing on the wall.
As the Peak Lord of strategy and the scholarly arts, Shen Qingqiu would naturally have calligraphy and paintings hanging everywhere! So let's break it down.
On the top we have 道㳒自然 ("Dao Follows Nature"), which comes from a Dao teaching by Laozi (founder of Daoism) meaning that life, death, the entire universe, the heavens and earth and everything outside and inbetween, all follow a set of laws referred to as the nature of things. Although unrelated to the Buddhist couplet below, it's certainly relevant!
Originally hanging in right-to-left order, I've arranged them to read left to right here to make things easier to keep track of. The calligraphy reads 西方竹葉千年翠；南海蓮九品香 and is a couplet commonly found in Guanyin temples. My classical chinese is not as strong as I'd like, but this translates roughly to "The bamboo leaves in Paradise are green for a thousand years / The fragrance of lotus flowers in the South China Sea is as thick as 9 sticks of incense."
The character 西 for West is used to denote the destination of enlightenment/purity: the buddhist Paradise (think Journey to the West). The South China Sea is where Guanyin was born. Upon the Lotus flowers is where Guanyin is commonly depicted as sitting. The "9 sticks of incense" though literal can also refer to the 9 tiers/grades of reincarnation lotuses with the 9th tier being the lowest, meant for those who in life committed the most evil of crimes — the 4 parajikas — and who can only manage a sincere Amitabha recitation 10 times and no more than this.
To put this in context with Shen Jiu (the same jiu as in 9/九), the 4 parajikas committed by the 9th Tier Lotuses Reborn (officially entitled the Lowest of the Low) are:
Sexual Intercourse
Stealing
Murder
Claiming attainments of stages of pure mental concentration that have not been achieved (in other words, rushing or lying about your cultivation/enlightenment, or maybe even becoming a Peak Lord without having formed a golden core beforehand).
From what we know in the context of the novel, Shen Jiu is innocent of at least the first of this parajikas, but the overall view of Shen Jiu in the eyes of others in the story is that he is guilty of them all. This calligraphy can be seen as a condemnation or a reminder for the character Shen Jiu, who even as the Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu is widely thought of as a scum villain and the lowest of the low.
Phew! That's a lot to unpack.
But if you turn your gaze to the original screenshot, you'll see to the right that there's a vase painted with a blue bird. This vase appears in several rooms of the bamboo house, and seems to be the image of a qingniao (青鸟; lit: Qing bird, wherein 青 can mean blue/green/clear-but-brackish black).
These qing-coloured birds are messengers and foragers of the Goddess-Mother of Paradise (Xiwang-mu 西王母, the "west/paradise" character from before, lit West-King(unisex)-Mother). They're a highly intelligent species who are exceptional in song (a good representative for Qing Jing's scholarly arts and pursuit of qin!), and the older ones might learn to speak human tongue. As a subspecies of luanniao (鸾鸟 lit: luan bird), they're thought to be related to The Phoenix and indeed thought to be the lifetime/samsara just before being reborn as a Phoenix.
If given to a "master" they don't like, the qingniao may refuse to pass messages or sing until they're set free, but if they do get along with you then they're loyal to the end.
As a point of interest, the Qing generation of Peak Lords uses the character 清, which is 青 ("colour of nature; brackish black, blue, green; young) + the radical for "water," resulting in the meaning of clear (as in water or heart; see-through); distinct; quiet (as in still); just and honest; pure; to settle or clear up; to clean up, expunge, or purge.
And as a bit of trivia, Liu Qingge's sword Cheng Luan 乘鸾 means "to ride the luan, take flight on the back of a luan." (Relevant, because the qingniao is considered a subspecies of luanniao).
With the Lords of both Qing Jing and Bai Zhan referencing this bird, I really wonder about its significance! It's spawning plenty of theories and headcanons for me.
Heading back outside for a moment, you'll find that in the Quiet Pool (清静小池 qingjing xiaochi (yes, the same Qing Jing the peak is named for)), there are lotuses, and on land there are flower shrubs which are either wide-petaled chrysanthemums (gay bottom jokes ahoy), or a type of peony, the king of flowers demarcating wealth and prosperity. Either way, a blossom fitting of our Qing Jing Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu!
My one regret is that I cannot get a clear shot of the fan hanging on the wall to try and translate the calligraphy on it. If anyone can snag one, please tag me! I also couldn't translate the paintings with poems hanging in Shen Qingqiu's bedroom (it's just too small and blurry for my bad eyes to make out). If I make another post attempting these things, I'll append them to this initial post in an edit afterwards.
#svsss#shen qingqiu#liu qingge#i started writing this at 3am#and now it's 8am#what am i doing with my life#who have i become#qing jing peak
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The Finadaddy Brain Rot™️ continues. Playing a board game with my family. My brother says the words — in relation to said game — “I want to do the gardener”, meaning he wanted to move the tiny little gardener piece to another space on the board. I immediately, shamelessly, blurted “I want to do the gardener”, thus causing my poor family members to stare at me in mild horror. I don’t even have a gardener. This is what I have become. I am a shameless husk. Anyway, hope you all had an amazing Christmas if you celebrate 💅🏻🫶🏻
#who have I become#a lady thirsty for gardeners#for daddies#for high lords#for anything that moves apparently#pom#practice on me#daddy fin
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holding my breath every time i reload my dash waiting for a picture of tzp and ng to magically appear
#who have i become#is this what the youths call manifesting#but hey the holding my breath thing has worked for them to each show up to the vf party at least so#the number of times i've reloaded tumblr/twitter in the last 2 hrs is between me n god#girl go to bed (don't)#nicholas galitzine#taylor zakhar perez#oscars 2024
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I am not typically a character playlist creator but I will speak my truth which is that "Linger" by the Cranberries is The Luo Binghe Jinlan City post-Reunion sadboy anthem
#please imagine the emo staring out the window at the rain pose of your choice#svsss#scum villain#back on the no sleep svsss nonsense posts train#also love that bingheless is now a word my autocorrect recognizes#who have i become#...okay introspection over#i'm back on my bullshit
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You can write a shorter chapter, Hope! No one will be upset with a chapter under 15k! Stop writing and take a break!!!
Me:
#i just keep adding scenes#and i already cut 2 more because it would take me another 3 days to finish#AND YET#who have i become#i used to be a one shot writer!#fitpac have infiltrated my brain
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Remember when you used to make fun of me for watching the Bachelor? And now you’re comparing real life events to the show?
me if the girls I like don’t get a rose 🙄 :
#who have I become#you either die a hero or however the saying goes…#i’m going to write you a fic where you’re the bachelorette and all the contestants are your football bfs
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i am returning with yet another brainrot episode [dodges booing and tomatoes being thrown] of me annotating mitch youtube content.
this podcast episode with connor was ADORABLE and revealed a side of him that we rarely ever see otherwise SO...it has made my mitch hyperfixation at LEAST 5x worse. I say this so i can warn you to listen at your own peril (i say listen rather than watch bc mitch is like..in 240p the whole time and at certain points looks SO BLURRY he looks like an impressionist painting of a twink. how very renoir of him tbh).
I also recognize this video is long af (honestly i didnt know mitch knew this many words....very impressed) so i’m time-stamping every part that im annotating......
also this post got so long so i’m sorry. i KNOW i always say this but it’s bc im genuinely always surprised by my own verbose ass.,.,,,,.,,,,.,.,,,,, WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY IM JUST LIKE MITCH FR I NEED TO STOP YAPPING (morgan rielly voice: “just never shuts up”)
1:35: mitch apparently loves oysters? honestly adding this only because it’s so cute when his face scrunches up and he throws his head back to laugh at 2:12 (also why is connor’s water glass so dirty what is HAPPENING)
3:21: mitch marner, self-proclaimed coffee aficionado and BEST coffee maker on the leafs, does not know what a chemex is. the look of blank confusion. i know what you are. a fraud who would rather be drinking capri suns and chocolate milk.
3:45: ok now we understand WHY mitch is always wearing a redbull hat (when he’s not wearing his recent assortment of ridiculous hat acquisitions like that powder blue hat with the HUGE BRIM or the orange prada bucket hat) - redbull just sends mitch HATS ON HATS ON HATS that he’s not even allowed to share as part of his agreement. i am now, in fact, asking redbull to send him EVEN MORE HATS so he’s less tempted to wear those hats he’s been wearing this off-season. redbull should just absolutely bury him in hats until he is no longer even visible. he’s not that big so it really shouldn’t take that many hats!!! that’s what i call a hat trick. that’s what i call cap space [booing from audience intensifies]
6:25: WHY is a CONNOR CARRICK MITCH MARNER PODCAST HOW I FIND OUT THAT PK SUBBAN AND LINDSEY VONN WERE ENGAGED?!?!! WHAT IN THE SPORTS ROYALTY?
7:14: just connor gassing mitch up and then chirping him for looking like a newborn foal when he entered the league (mitch then chirps himself for what he looked like with his shirt off lmao - it always surprises me how self-aware he seems to be and how comfortable he seems to be with himself? genuinely endearing tbh)
9:34: mitch talking about how formative visiting the children’s hospital in london (with christian dvorak) 1-2x a week was for him and the “legacy” he wants to build as a hockey player. like. as a cynical human i understand that this podcast is meant to be a fluff piece that’s beneficial for mitch’s reputation/brand, but as a human human i cannot help but be touched by how sincere mitch is about this. and more importantly, he’s shown it with his actions re: the genuine friendship he had with hayden, who mitch met during these hospital visits.
11:54: hearing about mitch’s contract issues from mitch’s POV is pretty interesting, and i believe this is the most extensively he’s ever spoken about it? it makes so much sense that mitch’s biggest priority was not wanting to miss training camp and pre-season. and that he had ZERO intention of leaving the leafs. im forever genuinely flabbergasted by that contingent of leafs fans who thinks mitch was the one in the room negotiating with kyle/the leafs and playing games to squeeze every last dollar out of them? like DO THEY KNOW MITCH? THE TWITCH STREAMER? my. brother in christ, this guy does not even know what an encyclopedia is. my brother in christ, this guy called his finnish teammate “finlish.”
ANYWAY, he talks pretty openly about the impact the contract negotiations and pressure had on him mentally
17:40: connor: what is your favorite part of being a toronto maple leaf?
mitch: my friends 🥺
19:54: mitch talking about how he just likes to check in “on his guys” and connor pointing out that whenever he gets an assist or a goal in a game, he still gets texts from mitch. WHICH IS. SO SWEET. as someone who is absolutely fucking terrible at keeping in touch with people i am JUST. SORRY TO BE A SAP BUT THATS SO SWEET OF HIM? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! IM GOING TO EAT HIM!!!!!!
20:30: THIS IS THE BEST PART LOWKEY - THE NIKE SHOES STORY DODOHFODHOSHSODASODHFAIDHFLWJEFKDLJKSAS.
IF U WATCH NOTHING ELSE PLEASE WATCH THIS. THE DAY CONNOR GOT MOVED FROM THE LEAFS AND WAS SAD MITCH JUST SHOWED UP WITH A GIANT PILE OF SHOES TO GIVE CONNOR AND CONNOR HAD TO BE LIKE “MITCH? I AM MOVING? I CANNOT TAKE ALL THESE SHOES???” THIS IS THE MOST MITCH MARNER STORY I HAVE EVER HEARD I CANNOT LIKE IVE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT IF I READ IT IN A FIC I WOULDVE BEEN LIKE “LMAOOO THIS AUTHOR NAILED MY HEADCANON OF MITCH BUT IRL MITCH WOULD NEVER DO THAT” BUT NO! HE DOES! HE HAS!
the fairy godmother only gave cinderella one pair of glass slippers but mitch marner will show up at your doorstep with 10+ pairs of emotional support nikes that he’s been trying to give you for MONTHS because he loves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
24:45: Mitch talking about how the award he’d want to win the most is the Selke - and given how great Mitch has been this past season offensively AND defensively AND on the PP AND on the PK??? give minch the selke send tweet.
28:30: when Mitch was drafted by London he was 5′6″ and 125lbs DLKDLKSJA HE WAS fucking TEENSY! please! i 100% could have carried him around in a fanny pack with my wallet and keys and a granola bar and the 3-4 random crumpled receipts from walgreens
30:16: “whenever people ask me what it was like playing with mitchy, i always tell them he has the ability to rubiks’ cube the game.” i LOVE This and i will be using this expression from now on, even though i have never solved a rubik’s cube and never will!
46:20: I would say this is the 2nd really meaty part of this podcast? It’s where Connor and Mitch talk about Mitch’s draft day experience. When Mitch talks about how NERVOUS he was when Toronto went up to draft their 4th pick i started laughing because if you watch the 2015 draft video you can SEE JUST HOW PETRIFIED AND TERRIFIED AND CLOSE TO SHITTING HIMSELF THEN THROWING UP THEN FAINTING AND DISINTEGRATING INTO A PILE OF DRIED UP LEAVES MITCH LOOKS LMAO. like that boy was on the brink of death.
also, really interesting details behind Phoenix Coyotes drafting Dylan at third right before Mitch here!
51:47: The 3rd meaty (auston-y :---))))) ) part of this podcast: Mitch talking about THE BABCOCK INCIDENT where babcock made mitch grade his teammates on work ethic. Mitch talks about it with a lot of levity and positivity tbh but hearing mitch even joke and laugh about it makes me sad because it clearly was a really awful experience for him to go through as a rookie. knowing how close mitch was and is to those 3 guys at the bottom - tyler bozak, naz, JVR (his recent italian escapade buddy) - is definitely comforting tho. BOOING BABCOCK FOREVER FOR THIS TBH. like WHAT were you aiming to get out of this and why the hell would you ever put a ROOKIE in this impossible situation?
55:46: THE FINAL MEATY PART OF THIS PODCAST: THE MATT MARTIN SECTION. honestlyyyyY. just watch this part from beginning to end pls because mitch clearly loves and treasures matt SO much and there’s SO much here that will make you want to gnaw gnaw gnaw chew chew chew scream ferally and SUE connor carrick for your upper body injury (heart hurts)... but anyway, a few highlights:
Mitch calling Marty a protector, a big brother, and “how big of a mentor he was to me” - i WILL CRY!!!!!!! I WILL!!!!! THATS MY FAVE LEAFS SHIP RIGHT THERE
“He was all for me shooting a puck off his leg or his ass.” every other time Mitch opens his mouth he says something that makes me go “wait ..what did he say?” and have to re-listen. this is one of those moments
the FUNNIEST story about how connor and matt almost fought when they played for different teams because matt found connor so annoying. i won’t spoil the details but i - i def cackled out loud
“you just felt 2 feet taller with matt around” 🥺🥺🥺 ok that’s fine tHATS FINE
OH GOD. THE worst part: Mitch talks about how Matt and Syd would always invite him over and make sure Mitch never felt alone his rookie year, and how this experience of feeling included and loved by Matt shaped the kind of teammate/friend Mitch tries to be aka making sure his home and heart are always open to his teammates. I....I’M. Y’ALL. HOLD MY HAND AND STAY WITH ME BECAUSE LIKE - think about the way bogo (esp when his family was away during covid) and justin lived with mitch and how the leafs all clearly love mitch so much and how mitch says he always tries to be the positive energy guy for his team AND I JUST . LETHAL PSYCHIC DAMAGE SUFFERED FROM THIS PART OF THE PODCAST TBH BRAIN JUST LEAKIN OUT THROUGH MY EARHOLES AS I CRAWL INTO A CORNER. Matt Martin drop your location right now and square up because i will fight you right now for what you’ve done. how DARE you and mitch marner, 2 rich white men i absolutely do not know, make me want to be a better kinder person....i...pretend i do not see it...i pretend i do not feel it.
1:02:58: Yes this podcast is over an hour long and i watched all of it ahahahah1!! haHA! anyway, mitch thanking the frontline workers - very sincere and endearing and mitch-y (aka causing little brain blips of complete confusion - like why did he call the UPS... “ups”? is this a canadian thing? also him thanking the WIFI PEOPLE FJDLKDJLDDSDSSDAKJLDDFLFJFKJLDSJLDKFAJL lmfaofjldjDDKS lmfaofofoofofOFOFO okay)
But seriously the entire podcast is extremely endearing and it’s still the off-season so please do watch the whole thing if you have a chance!
then come yell with me about it u know i love to yell
#mitch marner#connor carrick#no like WHY is he like this#why am i WRITING THIS#i am looking in the mirror like...what have i become#WHO HAVE I BECOME#nhldraftbust look up this isnt u#he's so SOFT god im going to eat him one day and it won't be my fault for committing cannibalism
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I started watching obx two weeks before season 3 came out and I was immediately obsessed, the action and high pace adventurers were magnetic but the thing that got me hooked the most was the group dynamics, their friendship and genuine love for each other. We saw them not just run from the cops and chase treasures, we saw them chill, we saw them drink and smoke and just having fun together. Season 3 lacked those moments, they had them but barely and in most of them John b wasn't even there...
Don't get me wrong I enjoyed watching and will definitely rewatch it all. I just missed the group vibes
They did have some great villains tho
I haven't obsessed like this in a long long time
#i can talk about obx for ever#who have i become#i still have so much to talk about but no one around me gets it lol#when do we get season 4?#i feel like a teenager again#dont know if i like it tho#outer banks#jiara#obx spoilers#jj x kie#kiara carrera#obx season 3#jj maybank#john b routledge#pope hayward#sarah cameron#i'm obsessed#i'm not okay#happymagicbee
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its sunday why am i budgeting
#who am i#who have i become#its true what people say#you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain#linh.txt
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I’m 8 years or so late to this party but is anyone else obsessed with Stardew valley right now (after the update)💀😵💫
#help me#I dream of mining and farming at this point#my starfruit wine empire is slowing unfolding#who have I become#I’m on spring break right now so I have way too much time
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It's been less than 24 hours and I miss this man bad.
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i seem to be in a tom cruise phase idk how this happened....every time i watch another one of his movies i'm like this is peak tom cruise he has never looked better 😵💫
#who have i become#feeling like the paul rudd who woulda thought / not me meme#tom cruise#top gun maverick#top gun#interview with the vampire#jerry maguire#the firm#cocktail#eyes wide shut#brian flanagan#mine
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i embodied my grandmother today, I screamed at a car as it was passing by me too quickly in a parking lot.
I fear I soon will start buying toilet paper in bulk whilst on sale. Smoking a cheeky J and baking earth binding bread. My arthritis set in four years ago.
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i contacted an artist for a geto comm bc he's like the only one whos missing on my list of babies and it took every ounce of my willpower to type "geto" and not "gojo"
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talked so much shit about jeonghan and seungcheol complaining about them feeling the affects of being almost 30.....
....and here i am dying bc i had too much margaritas (3 glasses)
and by dying i mean my body is cramping
#hello this isnt me.........#who have i become#why does my body hurt?? hello???#spamthots#the way im not even drunk im just in pain#anD MY JOINTS HURT BC ITS COLD#also im younger than them so that says a lot
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