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#Tony Scarapiducci
sspiderj · 6 months
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i like my men in custody
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trace-owo · 4 months
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Overachiever and Perfectionist due to childhood trauma-coded (it's 3am, of course I'm thinking about him again ಥ_ಥ)
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The last four episodes of season two really just be hitting me like:
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Milkman was certified fresh.
Okay… it’s time…
Last FMK poll of 2023…
I think I’ve made it clear where I stand on this one
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There’s no wrong answer I suppose. But there is and I will be judging you all very harshly on the one xx
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mysticfluffyness · 11 months
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I've attained yet another obsession for a nonfictional character. He's the most pathetic bad boy and validation craving guy I've ever seen, but I love him for it
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And yes I've gone on a Ben Schwartz content binge, while I love him in Space Force for being an annoying little shit, he definitely needs to play more bad guys 👌
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infinity-forest · 1 year
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hairswipe nebula
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folkloreweasley · 26 days
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pov you’re an astronaut and you’re dating f tony
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trexzila · 1 year
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there's something so inherently queer about a ben schwartz character
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radiodeerr · 11 months
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i love ben schwartz and his characters so much he means so much to me
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me-imherenowhere · 2 years
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hoybero · 3 months
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ok i lied im back on tumblr already. ANYWAY-
these two would be an unstoppable duo.(they would get murdered immidiately)
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someone help me give them a shipname.
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naamahwrites · 2 years
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Boots on the Moon - F. Tony x Reader
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Word count: 1,169
F. Tony Scarapiducci x Reader
Me being self indulgent because there aren't enough Ben Schwartz fanfics
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meal Armstrong's was the absolute worst place to work on the Space Force base. A majority of employees were acne ridden teenagers unaware of the concept of deodorant, and the pay was so low you honestly often considered becoming a sugar baby. Not to mention the constant sticky sweet ice cream you were usually coated in by the end of the day. But wanting to become a scientist on the site, you had to get the connections for an internship. And you figured being on the base would give you access to professionals in the field you wanted to get into.
The only semi-enjoyable moments of working were when F. Tony Scarapiducci showed up. Tony was Space Force's media manager, often working beside General Mark Naird himself. He came by a couple times a week, ordering the same thing every time: two scoops of "Boots on the Moon" ice cream in a medium sized sugar cone. You'd smile every time you'd see him or hear his voice, knowing the engagement that would follow. He'd always ask about your day, nodding along to let you know he was still listening. Leaning down on the counter in front of you, he'd tilt his head slightly and smile up at you. You swore it was the cutest thing you'd ever seen. And when you asked about his day you'd try and stay as engaged as possible while preparing his order (which honestly wasn't very hard because it had become almost second nature).
Today was an especially slow day, the sky was overcast and the wind was particularly chilly. Perfect weather for ice cream right? You twiddled with your thumbs, spacing out into the grey sky in front of you. "It's a beautiful day for ice cream, don't you think?" Jolting you out of your trance you came face to face with Fuck Tony Scarapiducci. You chuckled and took a deep breath.
"Jesus Tony, you scared the shit out of me." He smirked slightly.
"Sorry Y/N. I figured you're probably bored out of your mind, so why not stop by and pay you a little visit?" He winked at you. You watched as his deep brown curls slightly blew in the breeze, and how his face creased up slightly whenever he smiled. Shit I’m staring. He raised his eyebrows, smiling even bigger. Shit he noticed.
“So... Tony...” You cleared your throat, “How about this weather right?” That was so dumb oh my god y/n. You had to physically resist the urge to facepalm yourself. He chuckled and raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.
“How about this weather?! Are you serious Y/n?” He laughed as you awkwardly chuckled. 
“I mean, I don’t know. Small talk is hard. And I already know what you’re going to order so...”
“You wanna keep me around for longer L/n?” Alright I’ll bite. You leaned over, elbows on the counter. Your faces less than a foot apart, feeling warmth coat your cheeks in blush.
“And what if I do Mr. Scarapiducci?” the right side of his mouth tugged up in a smirk. He glanced around in exaggeration, feigning deep thought before returning his gaze to yours.
Almost whispering, he finally replied, “Then I’d say get me that sugar cone with two scoops of Boots on the Moon ice cream and we can get out of here when your shift ends.” Your heart began pulsating quicker, the sound murmured in your ears. Holy shit, did he just ask me out?! Are we going out on a date?! Thoughts raced through your head as you turned around and started assembling his order. Your nerves were evident, as your usual calm and collected demeanor was gone, and replaced by a mousey and evidently shaking bundle of anxiety.
Tony watched from a distance the change in your attitude. Being used to seeing the confident and self-assured Y/n, it was kind of refreshing to watch you be nervous. It also confirmed that you were likewise attracted to him. A smile tugged on Tony’s lips.
Hands shaking a bit, you finally placed the last scoop of ice team into the cone. Exhaling you began walking to Tony to hand it over to him. And of course because it’s you, a small puddle of melted ice cream from earlier in the day caused you to slip and fall on the floor of Meal Armstrongs. Taking the ice cream cone with you. “Oh my god! Are you okay Y/n?!” Tony rushed over to the inside of the booth to sit beside you. This is so embarrassing.
You sighed, “I’m okay, just a bruised dignity is all.” He chuckled, when an idea entered his mind.
“When does your shift end exactly?”
You glanced at your phone. “In like 15 minutes, why?” He then got up, picked up the “Closed” sign, and put it up in the counter.
“Let’s get out of here now.” You smiled, butterflies erupting in your stomach.
“I like the sound of that.” But looking at yourself you had to reanalyze. “But I am covered in ice cream right now.”
“I can think of something.”
_______________
“Are you sure that I don’t look like a complete doofus wearing this?” You ask, tugging on the Space Force merch that Tony graciously bought you.
“You look adorable Y/N.”
“Really?” You start sarcastically, “It’s an extra large, in bright orange. I look like a walking traffic cone promoting the least respected force in America.” His head falls slightly to his right shoulder, giving a look that reads as, are you being serious right now? He steps closer to you,
“Seriously Y/N, you look great.” He rests a gentle hand on your left shoulder. “And if you’re a traffic cone you are the sexiest traffic cone I’ve ever seen in my life, swear to God.” You lightly smack his arm in mock annoyance. Secretly, you love this kind of banter with him.
“Alright, alright, where are we going Romeo?”
“I was thinking... Clément’s?” You’re taken aback. Clément’s is this absurdly fancy French restaurant in Denver, you wouldn’t even know about it if not for Tony telling you that Zendaya ate there like two weeks ago. 
“Clément’s? Are you fucking with me?”
“I may or may not know someone who works in the kitchen... as the head chef.”
“I mean, that sound amazing! But honestly, it’s a bit above my price range. Like a lot.” He bits his lip softly, as if debating whether or not to say something.
“I mean I was thinking that I could pay for it. If that works for you, I mean, I was the one who asked you on this date.” He begins to ramble, “And my friend in the kitchen said that if I used the Space Force twitter account to promote the restaurant, he would give us a huge discount-”
“Us? You told him about me?” Tony blushes with embarrassment. 
“I may have mentioned something about wanting to take a beautiful woman out to dinner.” 
“Even one who looks like a nationalistic pumpkin?”
“Especially.”
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Hey fellow Ben Schwartz fans! Let me know if you liked this quick lil story. I started writing it a while ago but didn’t finish until recently. I’ll probably be writing a part two with y’all actually going out to dinner :)
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sspiderj · 19 days
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part 2 of i just think he's neat (remade and with more characters so i can sell stickers again)
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trace-owo · 7 months
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Me when- he...him...Ben Schwartz character 🥺💗
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When he's kinda slutty and a bit silly but deep down probably very sad (He's so cute! I wanna eat him whole a little bit >:3c)
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Is this the beautiful tears trope or the humanizing tears trope?
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alwaysschwartz · 2 years
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I love that Benny still has a prop from Space Force. I need to rewatch the whole show again.
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filifucks · 9 months
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Chan really heard tonys full name and took its seriously
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