Do you love me?
Hournite fluff - we deserve it
Prompt: Do you love me? @bethchapel
It’s slowly approaching three AM and Courtney and Yolanda are already asleep in the pile of air mattresses and sleeping bags collected in the middle of the JSA cabin’s living room. Day one of their JSA bonding retreat was a success, mostly spent exploring the woods, swimming in the lake, and repeatedly asking themselves how on earth Pat affords such a luxurious cabin in the middle of nowhere, Nebraska. Rick bundles up his and Beth’s blankets and moves to one of the upstairs bedrooms when Courtney starts to snuffle in her sleep.
Beth watches as Rick sits down in front of the ancient television set, pulling out dusty VHS tapes for her to veto what movie to put on. He’s on a mission, oddly alert for the middle of the night. Beth pretends she’s not disastrously exhausted as she settles on top of the bed.
“How are you not tired from driving this morning?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs and glances over his shoulder. “I guess I’m just excited to be here.”
Rick feeds Beauty and the Beast into the slot and it immediately plays the movie’s end credits. She giggles when he groans and clumsily thumbs the rewind button on the clunky remote. He joins Beth on the bed, yanking on a very old knitted quilt to lay over their knees.
“I’ve never actually watched this.”
Her jaw drops. “What? Are you kidding?”
He cracks a smile at her shock. “No.”
“It’s a Disney classic!” Belle comes on screen with her basket all doe-eyed and wistful. Beth points at her. “You’ve never seen Belle before?”
“Sure, I’ve seen her. I’ve just never seen her movie.”
Beth sighs, now worried about what else Rick’s missing out on. When Belle is in the bookshop, Rick starts chuckling beside her.
Beth quirks a brow at him, laid back on the mountain of propped-up pillows. “What?”
“She reminds me of you.”
Her frown deepens, but a smile starts to spread, too. “Me?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
“She’s smart and caring.” Two fingers playfully crawl up the blanket over her leg. “Nose stuck in a book inhaling information like you with those goggles.”
Beth’s chest warms.
She lets her head slip to rest on him. Her eyes start to droop mid-way through the movie, but Rick is really dead-set on watching this film for some reason, so she forces them open.
“Hey.” He pokes her side and she lifts her head up from his shoulder. “You falling asleep on me?”
“No,” she lies.
“It’s late. We can turn it off.”
“No, I want you to watch it.”
“You don’t have to be awake for me to do that.” He searches for the remote again and turns on closed captioning. “It can keep playing while you sleep, Beth.”
“No,” she protests again through a long yawn, knowing she’s starting to sound ridiculous. He’s still grinning softly at her though, so she doesn’t back down. “It’s a musical, you need to hear everything. And I want to experience it with you.”
“You’re about to pass out.”
“I don’t care.”
Rick glances back and forth between the tv screen and her.
“Pinch me if you have to,” she tells him, yawning again.
“I’m not going to pinch you!”
“Fine,” she huffs. “I’ll just get up and make coffee.” But she is so incredibly comfortable nestled in blankets with Rick that Beth can’t muster any energy to move.
“Wow. Coffee in the middle of the night. You don’t even like coffee.”
“Sure, I do.”
“Beth Chapel,” Rick drawls out with a smirk, seeing right through her lies. “Do you love me?”
“Yes,” she mumbles into his arm.
Rick falls awfully quiet, processing what he just asked and how she replied. It seemed to have slipped out, Rick not actually expecting anything from that.
“Do you, really?” he whispers, serious.
Beth blinks up at him. “Yes.” She pulls herself up to truly get a better look at him. Rick is a little dazed, blinking fast, mouth parted open like he’s stuck. She carefully puts her hand over the back of his gray t-shirt. “Has no one ever said that to you before?”
He doesn’t say anything.
“Rick?”
“Not in a long time,” he chokes out, overwhelmed.
Rick is changing. Beth has seen the subtle differences since her parents started paying for his therapy. He’s not quite so wound up anymore. He’s developing patience. And, the most remarkable newness from him is that he’s not shutting down anymore immediately after sharing the pain he carries. Opening up is getting easier for him, even if it’s still hard, and Beth is immensely proud of him for it.
“I love you,” she says gently, mentally chasing her drowsiness away so that she can have this discussion properly. Beth wants to remember this, she needs to be fully awake. “Rick, I always love you.”
“Even when I’m a jerk?”
“Yes,” she says, “not that I like it. But because you always come back after and apologize for being one.”
His fast blinking continues until Beth starts to see he’s struggling with tears. “Really?” he says again, like he can’t believe it and her heart almost breaks.
“Yes.”
Rick laughs like he’s embarrassed, tearing his gaze away to wipe at his face and glance back at the movie. Beth shifts closer, hand still on his back. She lets her hand slide to his shoulder, gently teasing the nape of his neck.
“Rick?” she asks. “Do you love…me?” It’s a little silly because she already knows the answer, but her breath hitches nevertheless.
He turns his head and their eyes meet. Rick’s are wet and soft, full of affection, but maybe they’re just mirroring her own. He nods and mere seconds later, his gaze falls to Beth’s lips. It’s only then, she realizes, that the love in this question– it isn’t the one they were talking about before. The room grows hot, prickling beneath Beth’s skin. Rick’s hand finds its way on her cheek, cradling half of her face. The touch knocks the air from her lungs. Rick’s hand tilts her chin up, those hazel eyes flicking as they try to read her, with a million things to say.
Is this what you want? Is this what we mean? Is this okay?
He finds her answer when she closes her eyes and Rick greets her mouth with a kiss. It’s slow and tentative and burns a fire in her soul. Beth almost falls into him, leaning in to kiss back. Her other hand catches on his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, the other stills around his neck until they part.
Beth’s more silent than she’s been in her life, Rick’s steady heartbeat thrumming beneath her touch. Rick exhales. He doesn’t say anything either, afraid to ruin the moment or wake up from a dream. They don’t have to talk. Beth takes his face in her hands and kisses him again, now applying her working knowledge of how to properly do it.
It’s almost four in the morning when Rick gently tugs Beth by the wrists out of the bed to return to the sleepover downstairs with their friends. Courtney’s dead quiet, curly hair flung above the pillow of her sleeping bag. Yolanda’s curled up in hers like a cat. Rick settles into his own on the wooden floor. Beth crouches on the other side of the room, picking up her blankets and air mattress to drag over to him. She looks up from the task, feeling his eyes on her. Beth’s arms squeeze around her pillow, still floating on air.
Do you love me? Beth mouths across the dark room.
He grins and props himself up on an elbow, draping the quilt over her form once she’s in the makeshift bed.
Do you love me? Rick mouths back.
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