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sambinnie · 5 years

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This week’s wonderful & worthwhile things:

[All links repeated at the end]

1. Our kitchen ceiling caved in, due to a major leak from the bathroom. But there’s nothing like children dancing around in helpful excitement to make a small catastrophe feel like a minor adventure. (It’s only when a secondary leak floods the initial repair that I cry.)

2. The courgette seeds we planted have become fat leaves on dark stalks, budding again and again. I’m currently debating whether I need to cancel all trips away from the house, so I can be here to care for the tiny kitchen garden of sprouting herbs and craning, fur-bedded vegetables. I feel like a god. I started with a bag of soil & seed compost, an old tupperware box, and seeds; accessible to lots of people, I hope, and I cannot recommend it enough.

3. It’s difficult to measure love, and it’s irresponsible to discount the effects of our parents’ inherited trauma. I can safely say, however, that I have never once felt loved by my mother. I disliked her through my childhood and teens with the kind of gut-instinct a child has for grinding quotidian injustice, then found a peace with her in my twenties. Friends with similar parents had said over and over, ‘It’s just about accepting that they’ll never be who we need. We just have to decide whether we want to have a relationship with who they actually are.’ And I did, so we saw each other frequently, and I swallowed that sense of always being manipulated and unheard. (When I told her news of my job redundancy, or my pregnancies, or my cavernoma, I was cut off each time with more pressing anecdotes of her own. It was almost funny, in the way family jokes are, except for all those times when it wasn’t.)

Last summer, four years since the cancer treatment and death of my father — appointments and notes and visits, my efforts to ensure distant family were kept informed about each change in condition, each suggestion from the care team — I had a similar nerve-wracking few weeks with my mother, this time in a French hospital. This time I couldn’t visit, but found myself the initial point of contact, responsible at first for telling her neighbours, siblings, and my sisters, as well as calling her and the hospital each day for updates. Some weeks after her return, I received a typed letter informing me that I was subsequently being removed as one of her executors (my sisters though would remain) as well as having my power of attorney revoked. I have never uncovered why. She didn’t contact me on my birthday, nor on Christmas Day (I, like all children in these circumstances, still contacted her on her birthday and at Christmas. We always want to prove that we’re better than they’ve told us). All of this wormed inside my brain, constantly, painfully, until sudden clarity hit: Jackasses Gonna Jackass. (Before I was declared the Most Terrible Person, my sister held the title; before her, my father; before him, my uncle; before him, probably me again. This realisation also helped.)

As my children grow older, my anger returns. As they grow past milestones I remember from my own childhood — the age I was when calmly told to choose what I was going to be hit with after some behavioural infraction; the age I was when she stormily cut my hair from past my shoulders to a boy’s dull, savage chop (I wept throughout — my father tried to intervene — she insisted afterwards that it was what I wanted); the many, many ages when she consistently told my embarrassed visiting friends to ignore me as I was ‘just showing off’ – such a trivial slight! such a shaping of my feelings about keeping her away from people I valued! –; the years and years where I wrestled with my unfathomable unhappiness in this nice, middle-class home where I was bought presents and taken on holidays — it seems horribly simple to avoid these things. Don’t humiliate your child. Don’t terrify them. Don’t constantly repeat the witless truism that you ‘love them, but don’t like them.’

I find it easy to admit making a mistake. I apologise freely and with thoughtfulness to my children, my partner, friends, because I am not perfect, because we are all human. Part of growing up is the difficult realisation that your parents are human too, and they make mistakes. But sometimes it’s even harder to accept that you really haven’t done anything wrong – at four, at seven, at 10, at 37 – and that you, like everyone else, deserve better.

Anyway, when I vanish down a Lucille Bluth-flavoured hole of anger and hurt, I remember that exercise helps everything. And it does! Do treat yourself to some, if you can. Also, I read this book while camping recently and it is wonderful. Dodie Smith writes with such understatement that I could read her books twenty times and come away with something different each go.

4. This programme (part 1 of 2) about Jeremy Hardy is so utterly wonderful. It also contains clips of brilliant Linda Smith and Humphrey Lyttleton, and I realise I spend vast portions of my time watching, listening to, or writing comedy because it’s how I understand, process, and communicate my own feelings to the world. (If that’s not turning your lemons into lemonade, I don’t know what is.)

5. I finally order prescription sunglasses, after years of balancing normal sunglasses over my spectacles, on the pollenous days I can’t hack contact lenses. Continuing my Squash And A Squeeze philosophy of life, it feels like a gift, delighting me at least six times a day.

6. Although repetition has somewhat rendered athletic ads featuring everyday girls and women a cynical trope, there’s nothing like watching a large group of girls play a sport they love. The variety of body shapes, the support they offer one another, and the sheer enjoyment of it. Really, don’t all joys boil down to enjoying our bodies while we can?

7. The day is bright today, and I took the dog on a longer walk than usual; watching that dog trying to run out a greyhound was hilarious, the sleek fool. At the time, I was listening to this episode of The Cut on Tuesday, on the topic of Spring Horniness and the weird trash we get hot over, which contains the immortal line “The bud is breaking through. But the soil that nurtured the bud was all fucked up, and now the flower is weird.” Also, the final line of the episode made me do an actual out-loud bark of laughter.

8. It’s several years old now, but I love how both Bad Neighbours 2 and this review scratch an itch in completely different ways. I love the film for everything it undoes of the first one, plus the sheer charm of Efron and furious optimism of Chloë Grace Moretz; also, Rose Byrne, who might be one of the most underrated comedic actresses of our time. But the review offers something else, and sates the library-card-carrying part of my brain that wants to read a thousand think pieces on Magic Mike XXL and Parks & Rec and The Windsors. I hope you enjoy both.

1. When Jeremy Hardy Spoke to the Nation here

2. The Cut on Tuesday – I Want to Put My Mouth on That here

3. Little White Lies review of Bad Neighbours 2 here

#hope #gardening #inherited trauma #comedy #podcasts #film #reviews #recommendations

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crescendo-kuci · 6 years

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Top Albums of 2017

It’s that time of year again! In a year of reinventions, triumphant returns, tragedy, and necessary accountability for musicians of all levels, these albums affected me and stayed with me through one of the most tumultuous times of music in recent memory. I will not mention the artists by name, but up until news of their personal lives surfaced, two different albums would have been in my top 5 (one of them even claiming the top spot). I don’t mind not having them here though, as it is more of an insult to the victims if I included the bands in this list than an insult to the bands if I don’t include them in this list. Fair enough?

Lets start with some albums that I enjoyed this year but just missed cracking my top 10 (in alphabetical order):

Chon - Homey Electronic/hip hop/R&B combined with the trademark Chon math/prog rock made for a great follow up to the mostly same-sounding (but still incredible) Grow.

Dryjacket - For Posterity “Epi Pen Pals” is one of the best songs from this year, and I don’t believe Dryjacket is getting nearly as much attention as they deserve.

Japandroids - Near to the Wild Heart of Life Although it’s their worst LP to date, there are a few classic Japandroids jams (the title track and “No Known Drink or Drug”) and the epic “Arc of Bar” that still made this a great indie rock album.

Jay Som - Everybody Works If this textured, full, tonally exceptional album is the typical result of the recording process happening completely in a bedroom, all albums from here on out should be recorded in a bedroom. Also, “Baybee” is a jam.

Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights My number 11 album of the year. Julien’s voice reaches beauty and power that it didn’t reach on Sprained Ankle, and the added instrumentation doesn’t hurt either. Get the tissues ready, you’re gonna need ‘em.

Looming - Seed Jessica Knight continues to have the most overlooked/underrated/underappreciated voice in independent music, and I’ll never forgive any of you for making that true (unless you listen to this album and their 2015 banger Nailbiter). Educate yourself!

North End - Alpha State I tweeted in January that this was the first great album of the year, and it stayed with me all the way to the end. If you’re looking for a dynamic instrumental rock album to carry you through work or studying, look no further.

Oso Oso - The Yunahon Mixtape As a big fan of their album Real Stories of True People, Who Kind of Looked Like Monsters, I was so pleased when I saw them surprise drop this album. What I originally thought would be a lesser album due to the nature of its release turned out to be an incredible step forward. It’s slightly more muted than their previous effort, but with more earworms spread throughout the track listing. Do not skip this album.

Tigers Jaw - Spin Having an overall shine that wasn’t present on their previous efforts, Brianna and Ben (along with producer Will Yip) have created a great showcase for the scene’s first steps into the middle ground between independent and major labels. “Guardian” was constantly on repeat for me, and “Escape Plan” might downright be my favorite Tigers Jaw song to date.

Turnover - Good Nature So we can all agree that Peripheral Vision is an absolute scene classic, right? Well, the band also agreed, so they didn’t change their sound or approach all that much for this album. But hey, don’t fix it if it’s not broken.

The Top 10

10. Sorority Noise - You’re Not As ______ As You Think

Watch: “No Halo”

Singing about deeply personal struggles with both a vulnerable whisper and a frustrated yell is nothing new for Cam Boucher, but this album instrumentally captures the tone of his words to a degree I haven’t heard in their past efforts. If you’re not yet acclimated with Sorority Noise, get listening.

9. Phoebe Bridgers - Stranger in the Alps

Watch: “Motion Sickness”

Although I was an admittedly late passenger on the hype train for this album, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since I listened. “Motion Sickness” is the stand out of the album, but Phoebe’s voice stays engaging and beautiful from start to finish. Even John Mayer himself has given Phoebe some strong praise, not that you’ll need any more motivation to check out the album once you hear her voice for the first time.

8. Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds From Another Planet

Watch: “Road Head”

On the first listen of “Machinist” I wasn’t too keen on the direction Japanese Breakfast was going with Soft Sounds From Another Planet, but once the full album released I was all in. Where “Machinist” was 100% about spacey, technological sounds that captured the lyrics (I’ve come around on the song and love it in the context of the album), the rest of the album uses those effects to a tasteful and effective degree. There are even a couple of stripped down songs at the end of the track listing just to keep listeners on their toes. On top of all of that, the bass groove in “Road Head” is just so damn good.

7. Prawn - Run

Listen: “Greyhound”

All of you monsters slept on my favorite album of 2014, Kingfisher, when it came out, so I’m not going to let you do it to Prawn again. They’re consistently writing energetic, beautiful songs that have far outpaced the rest of their peers. “Greyhound” in particular was a song I had on repeat all year, but Run has top to bottom jams. Don’t miss out on them this time around.

6. Vasudeva - No Clearance

Listen: “Take Away”

My favorite instrumental album of the year goes to none other than Vasudeva. No Clearance does what very few instrumental albums can do for me, and that’s be completely entertaining and engaging from start to finish. The band has included a ton of moody, textured, and even electronic passages that give their trademark upbeat and lighthearted grooves an incredible sound. Although “Take Away” may not be the best example of this (I’d give that to “6&5″), it’s a perfect song for newcomers to Vasudeva to get acclimated with the band.

5. Hodera - First Things First

Listen: “Out of Sync”

Back when Hodera premiered this song on their Audiotree Live Session, I was immediately sold on their follow up to United By Birdcalls. What I was surprised to hear on the album, however, was how much they embraced their country influences. I’m by no means a country fan, but Hodera embraces the genre with just enough rock instrumentation to keep me enjoying the album. Matthew Smith even seems more comfortable in letting his conversational singing style lead the tracks, which is fine by me. Hodera is one of those bands that should’ve caught on with listeners of bands like Pinegrove, so here’s your chance to catch up if you’ve missed them.

4. Less Art - Strangled Light

Listen: “Pessimism as Denial”

Ah, “supergroups.” You gotta love ‘em. Consisting of members of Thrice, Kowloon Walled City and Curl Up and Die, I knew I would probably like Less Art’s debut album before I even heard it. When I listened and heard that it was exactly the middle ground between those three bands that I was hoping for, I ecstatically listened to it repeatedly. This is right at the max in terms of heavy rock that I can still enjoy, with tight drumming and tonally perfect bass and guitar instrumentation throughout. Can’t wait for all of these guys to unite and melt my face again with those sweet, juicy tones.

3. Manchester Orchestra - Black Mile to the Surface

Watch: “The Gold”

I listened to “The Gold” about thirty times the night it premiered. And then I put it on repeat when I went to bed and woke up to its beauty. So, yeah, I guess you could say I was pumped for a new Manchester Orchestra album. While “The Gold” is the standout track, there’s a beautiful and haunting vibe that engrosses the rest of the album. These songs are uniquely united in a way that hasn’t been seen on their previous efforts, and it makes for an immensely enjoyable complete album listen. Despite the closer “The Silence” being nearly seven minutes long, you’ll want to experience Black Mile to the Surface all the way to its chilling end. In terms of their discography, I’d place Black Mile to the Surface second just behind Mean Everything to Nothing, and I’m of the firm belief that Simple Math is a near perfect record.

2. Pet Symmetry - Vision

Listen: “Hall Monitor”

If I were to make a top songs of 2017 list, I would have to include “Hall Monitor,” “You & Me & Mt. Hood,” “Stare Collection,” and “Lint Roller” in the top 10. It was honestly incredibly difficult to pick which song to link with this post. Off of that alone I decided to place this album so high on this list, but even the songs on the album I don’t consider my favorites this year are stellar. When I listen to this album all the way through, the only song I skip is “Eyesores” because it’s just a short burst of distorted vocals and guitars, but that’s it. Every other song is a genuine joy to listen to, and I really can’t ask much more from a band that barely even takes themselves seriously. Get listening.

1. The Menzingers - After the Party

Watch: “After the Party”

I’ll admit, I hadn’t heard a single song by The Menzingers until they released “Lookers” last year. I know, blasphemy. I proceeded to do my homework and check out their older material in preparation for this album release, which usually results in either negatively comparing newer material to older material or getting burned out on the band’s sound. With After the Party though, neither of those ever happened. I still get just as pumped now when a track from the album comes up on shuffle as I did when it first released. Whether that song is the title track, “Tellin’ Lies,” “Lookers,” “Your Wild Years” or “Bad Catholics,” I’m always happy to let it play. That’s not to say that a full album listen isn’t warranted though - the slower tracks are perfect in their sequencing and tone to offset the loud punk tracks. If you need any further proof that this is my favorite album/band of the year, they were my top played band on Spotify and claimed three of my five most played tracks. 2017 for me was the year of The Menzingers.

How do your picks compare to mine? Anything you think I might have missed? Let me know on Twitter @CrescendoKUCI and I’d be more than happy to reply! Thanks for reading this post, and I hope you’ve found some great new music to enjoy.

#aoty #2017 #music #rock #punk #indie #the menzingers #manchester orchestra #pet symmetry #less art #hodera

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