Get yourself a man who can do both.
(blud turned into a vampire midway through the presser)
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if i had a nickel for everytime someone involved in a 2024 rap beef brought up their opponent’s height and shoe size and then got totally obliterated i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice.
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Zelda travelling around Hyrule after the Calamity and people are tripping over themselves to tell her stories about the Hero because they love that feral cryptid mad man and are so proud of him
'I met him when I was about to get eaten by a Hinox...he jumped off a horse, fired 12 arrows in the blink of an eye and then got smacked in the face with a tree...but then he came back and hacked away at it's legs with this stupidly big sword until it finally died'
'He was wearing this weird patched together mask that looked like a monster but he made enough curry for everyone so we didn't like to ask'
'But...the hero was a girl? She wore these lovely green silks and every time she came out of the Gerudo Canyon she had a bag full of electric safflina to sell to Beedle over there. The Gerudo think she's an amazing fighter, which says a lot, and she always thanked me for looking after her horses when she went into the desert'
'I swear to Hylia that he ran through here wearing nothing but his underwear and a mask shaped like a leaf...claimed he was looking for the Children of the Forest. Sorry, Princess, but I'm not sure he was quite right in the head at the time'
'He used to creep in here silently wearing this grey mask and with enough lizards and beetles that we could make enough elixirs to last for a month. Not sure I ever saw his face without it'
And the entire time Link is stood neatly dressed, three steps away, listening to every word and no one pays him the slightest bit of attention. Because none of them cotton on that 'prim and proper Royal Knight' Link and 'I will defeat this Lynel with a stick, a pot lid and a bucket load of adrenaline' Wild Child Hero is the same man. Especially with how many masks he owned.
When they walk away and are out of sight and earshot Zelda just raises her eyebrow with a smile and he is like '...I can explain...it made sense at the time'
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my favorite thing about griffin as a dm is that he taught himself how to write and produce original music for taz but refused to learn the 5e ability checks
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it says something about tumblr that the *first* post is the biggest autism mood ever expressed in media and the *second* is topless unhinged monster girl
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He’s coming over tonight!
He’s coming over tonight
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which do you think caused more damage; your father’s absence or your mother’s presence?
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Brennan when the Queens realize he’s the villain:
“The dungeon master is a position of both collaborator and at times opponent”
Brennan when his friends call him a villain:
“I’m all the bad guys”
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Me: Cats are an invasive species that, when allowed to free-roam, slaughter massive numbers of native wildlife worldwide, are frequently subjected to horrible diseases, injuries, and deaths outdoors, and should only be allowed outdoors on leashes or in catios.
Also me: *trills to Random Outdoor Cat in the hopes it will come over so I can pet it*
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ghost is the type of man to text you randomly that if you'll ever cheat on him, he'll rip this man's bones from his flesh and will make riley run for them:/ you think it's the most romantic thing ever, your best friend calls him crazy.
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i find it so funny how he can go from reading legal document and contract to fucking smut casually at the dining table
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