#TLE2 spoilers
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ok I just ran the math and I published 17,502 words in January. No one gets to send me any asks in February telling me to hurry up ok?
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“Monty, guess who’s come home to see you!”
A low groan, a rustle of bedsheets, a squint through the darkened room. “Who…?”
“Hi, dad.”
“Who is this? Who are you?”
“Dad, it’s me. James. Your son…?”
“I don’t have a son. Ephie, who is this?”
“Oh, dear. James, darling, come on, we’ll try again tomorrow.”
“Dad—”
“James,” hissed a voice, followed by the sharp nudge of an elbow to his ribcage, and James blinked back to attention. He was seated at the grand dining table in Professor Slughorn’s office, along with about eleven other students and a few guests Slughorn had brought in, all of whom were staring at him over the towering blancmange a house-elf had just delivered.
“Er…” said James awkwardly. “Sorry, spaced out a little. What was that?”
“My dear boy,” laughed Slughorn. “What were you thinking about?”
“Er…” said James again, desperately rooting around his brain for a more suitable answer than the truth. “Quidditch.”
“That’s all he ever thinks about,” said Florence, patting his arm in an affectionate-but-long-suffering sort of way.
Read on AO3.
(OK I LIED. YOU GET ONE MORE. NOW I'M ON VACATION BYEEEE)
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Random thoughts…
Every time that I make tea with my Quooker now (the newness hasn’t worn off) I think about this scene in TLE2 :
Quooker sound effect
Lily in the great Hall pouring boiling water over Mulciberz.
And I hope that the sound then was as satisfactory as the spluttering sound in my kitchen… every time .
#tle2#tle2 spoilers#lily evans#mulciber#my Quooker#random#brain fart#I’ll be drinking my tea now#burn baby burn
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I have discovered a new Writer Struggle™ and that is having a fictional song stuck in your head and wanting to listen to it in order to get it out of your damn head, but in order to do that you have to a) write it and b) be musical so you just walk around badly singing the same verse over and over again and getting more annoyed about it 💀
….yes I am walking around my home singing “The Ballad of Farter-Biles” and no, the cats do not like it.
(still working on the next chapter, hope to have an update soon! ❤️🎸💥🤗)
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no chapter this weekend, friends. I’m focusing on some much needed self-care (scrubbing my apartment from top to bottom and rereading the Harriet Vane novels). Planning for an update next weekend, if all goes well.
If anyone wants the POV spoiled as a treat, see below :)
Lily 😌
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Ommggg I have so many thoughts on the new chapter I don’t even know where to begin!
I love the consistency with Snape’s twisted morality. Just like later, when he’ll beg Dumbledore to save only Lily, here he’s only concerned with protecting Lily, other innocent students be damned.
The reveal that Lily had been spiked with Felix makes so much sense in retrospect. I even remember thinking that she was so optimistic as soon as James sent Snape away, and thought it must’ve just been James. Excellent foreshadowing.
now I can’t stop thinking of all the things that happened because it was “lucky” for Lily??? Like suddenly needing to send Mary a letter so that she’d overheard Aisha and Florence, and instigate Flormes’ breakup by revealing the James dad thing! And how Sirius and Graham were right in the blast but unharmed. And did she say she was going to the bookshop so someone would rescue Arabella?? So good.
Sirius listening to Lily fret about how he specifically must hate her because it’s her fault that James is hurt as Snuffles is so sad. Like it’s sort of messed up that he’s doing this but it’s also so… sweet? He knows Snuffles brings her comfort in a way Sirius can’t. I can’t stop thinking about what Lily’s going to feel when she realizes this whole time Snuffles has been Sirius. I think at first she’s going to be betrayed, but after the dust settles I think she’s going to realize how much he’s sought her out to comfort her without ever once revealing what she said to anyone, and that will go a long way for their friendship.
UGH LILY NO JUST KISS HIM ITS THE RIGHT TIME I SWEAR.
Jammessss she’s not with Graham!! She never was!!! She only was bc she was sad about YOU you idiot (Me, & Sirius probably)
Such a masterpiece. Thank you for writing as always.
Heheheehee. 😈 Writing all the little ways the Felix made Lily lucky and the consequences of that luck (and those yet to be seen…) was genuinely so fun. And hard. But mostly fun lmao.
Thank you so much for this lovely message ❤️❤️❤️
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Okay so I re-read TLE again. Because I have a problem. And there’s just something I really really loved about the latest chapter and I needed to share my thoughts with you.
When James wakes up and is talking to the lads about the events of the protest and Quidditch being cancelled. He was asked if he was upset over it. And his response?
“People died.”
That’s just so James. That’s the boy who became an Animagus at 15 to help a friend. That’s the boy who has a secret ambition to become a healer. The boy who welcomed his abused friend into his home. The boy who will soon fight in a war and go into hiding for his wife and son.
And that type of characterization is always on my mind, like somewhere in the back just eating away at my brain. It is so so beautiful and so well written. Despite all the Jily, that might be my favorite part of this entire series so far. That’s the character I love, and the way you showed us that significant change in him is just… I honestly don’t have words to express my awe. But gosh.
Well done Ch.
🥺❤️❤️
Thank you so much for this ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Hii i love love your works they are truly inspiring! I had a few questions if you don’t mind sharing a bit :)
The way your characters „speak“ and what words they use seems so real and i always wondered how you pinpoint their „personalities“? I love you characterization of Lily especially, she always came across like a real person.
Another question i had how you think of these plots and subplots. Do you have a strategy or any inspiration?
Hi! Thank you so much!
Hmmmm. This is always a hard question for me to answer because most of the time it’s just “idk my brain just did the thing and now I have this imaginary person talking at me” lol.
But there are definitely strategies and techniques I’ve employed over the years to figure out voice and (hopefully) get it right. A big one is to give your characters a defining linguistic trait or habit. For Sirius, it’s cursing. None of the other characters curse as much as Sirius, and on the whole I try to use it somewhat sparingly with other characters so it’s more impactful when they do. Remus curses near the full moon when he’s exhausted and annoyed. James curses in serious scenarios, when he’s upset or scared or whatever. But Sirius curses fluently, happily, and with gusto haha.
For James, he’s a bit more lighthearted/frivolous in his language choices. Lots of play on words and always ending things sort of trailing off with “and all that.”
Lily I genuinely don’t have a good answer, I’m sure I did character work on her at some point but these days she just exists in my head as a fully-formed person so I have no idea how to tease that apart 🙈
Ummmm I’m drawing a blank on the others but i know they have specific tells, I’m just sleepy. 😂
Plots and subplots are I think just the result of my brain constantly playing a game of “yes and” with itself. (By which I am referring to the improv technique and not the Ariana grande song lmao.) Pretty much the entire plot of TLE was born from me having a handful of completely unrelated scenes/headcanons that had lived in my head since my teen years, then putting those random scenes in a timeline and trying to make sense of how one could lead to the other etc. And just like…allowing myself to go a little crazy and be like “ok I want a scene where Lily dresses in a Muggle mini-dress in front of James, why would this happen” and then extrapolating from there. Ok so the scene in which she’s wearing a mini-dress needs to be at least somewhat scandalous to warrant the kind of attention I want it to get from James and others? Why is it scandalous? Maybe it’s scandalous because wizards are super conservative. Ok if wizards are super conservative what does that means in terms of how they view Muggles, specifically Muggle girls? It means they’re constantly slut-shaming them. If they’re constantly slut-shaming Muggle girls, how does that show up in Lily’s plot? She gets accused of being a boyfriend stealer. Etc etc etc. So much of the plot so far has been me working backwards from ideas that won’t happen for many thousands of words yet to come 😂😂😂
I guess my biggest tip is just to make time to be very bored and let your brain roam free. Walking is great for this 😂
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Me enjoying writing morally-complicated characters who have flaws and make mistakes:
Me when everyone is mad at the character for their morally-complicated flaws and mistakes:
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“There are loved ones in the glory…whose dear forms you often miss…”
Anthea Evans’ voice wafted through the kitchen like soap bubbles in the air. She always sang when she did the dishes, which is what she was doing now, and Lily loved to listen to her. As far as she was concerned, her mummy had the most beautiful voice in the world…and she knew this was true, because plenty of others agreed. Her mother was often asked to sing at church — all right, she was mostly asked by Lily’s father, who happened to be the vicar, but still: Everyone loved when Lily’s mummy sang, and Lily loved it most of all.
“When you close your earthly story…will you join them in their bliss…”
She often sang this song — one of her favorite hymns, she said — and Lily hummed along from her perch at the kitchen table, where she sat hunched over her diary, a pile of trusty colored pencils at her side, intent on finishing her drawing. It was a castle: a beautiful castle filled with magic, just like Sev told her.
“Will the circle be unbroken…by and by…by and by…”
The kitchen door swung open, interrupting her mother’s song, and Lily looked up to see Tuney enter. Petunia — as she preferred to be called now that she was so grown up — was thirteen and ganglier than she’d ever been. She loped over to the kitchen table, glanced at Lily’s drawing, and scoffed. Petunia didn’t like when Lily talked about the castle. She thought it was all silly and made-up.
“Ah, Petunia,” said their mother. “Good, help me dry these, won’t you?”
Petunia groaned loudly. “Why don’t you ever ask Lily to help with the dishes? Oh, wait, let me guess, it’s because you know she’d break everything.”
“I would not!”
Read on AO3.
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OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
As always, excellent work! I loved the chapter sososososooso much. Lily being a baddass, poor poor Graham who's definitely gonna get in trouble and gonna get himself killed, the Blackevans friendship! THE JILY REUNION! AND THE SNAPE AND LILY CONFRONTATION! BEAUTIFUL ALL OF IT!
Except the roll credits, you monster :( I cried.
Anyway, I just hope you know when Lily was in the interrogation with Crouch (ugh!) and she talked about the picture of Carter-Myles and the Minister I just kept picturing this:
And boy if that wasn't hilarious in my head.
Anyway, again, loved the chapter and thank you so much for giving this to us and for all this work you're putting out here! I just hope you know we appreciate it a lot! Not only your writing (which is amazing and you write the characters so well and this whole fic is canon for me now) but this little community you've created. Just... thank you so much. Take care and don't worry about the next chapter!
Oh no the picture didn’t come through!
Thank you so much for the kind words though 🥺❤️
And sorry about that roll credits song 😅
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People are still hating on Graham??
But what about the FACTS?
what are his CRIMES??
Graham's over here just
starting up secret muggleborn clubs to provide safe spaces for students like him at Hogwarts
recruiting Lily to said secret society at a serendipitous time when she desperately needs support/a distraction from Flormes
dancing to ABBA when he doesn't want to because Lily asked
Providing string-free physical comfort on demand
keeping her confusing fake relationship with Sirius a secret
doing his best to be open-minded to the purebloods she invites to muggleborn club and friendly to the pureblood with whom she's been flaunting a fake relationship--a relationship that started, like, ten seconds after she buttoned up her blouse and left him a half-naked dirty little secret in the Room of Requirement
following Lily's lead and keeping their situation casual despite clearly catching feelings himself
sending flowers after Lily's dad dies
getting ghosted, with no real explanation, until he approaches her to clarify their status
not pushing the issue when Lily wants to remove the benefits from their friendship
supporting Lily's protest idea and agreeing to be its face and voice, despite the target it will no doubt put on his back
only telling one person about their trysts, once he starts Feeling Some Kind of Way and justifiably needs to vent because he's a human boy with a heart, and he tried to cry on his own shoulder but it gave him a crick and his shirt got soggy
having open and honest conversations about his feelings with Lily and explaining how Lily's actions affected him and why it's not okay with him
Did he handle everything perfectly along the way? Of course not. He's a teenage boy with hurt feelings and a bruised ego, and also then we'd hate him for being too perfect. Is he a Level Ten scumsucker because he fell a little harder than planned for Lily, or because he called Lily out on some unintended consequences of her actions? Hardly.
If you took all the above and find-and-replaced "Graham" with "James" I feel like there'd be far less uproar over these allegedly unforgivable and egregious acts.
Sincerely,
Mabel
(please don't kill Graham)
(I mean do what you want, it's your story)
(but he's a good Graham, is all I'm saying)
Bless you, Mabel 😂😂❤️❤️❤️
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I can count on one hand when snape has lost his cool in canon . in poa when harry saved sirius , in OOTP when sirius vs snape , when harry saw his memories . In hbp when harry called him a coward . And that's about it . While majority of time he is composed , confident and insults people with coolness and sass . The list is too long . Like he has coolly sassed Bellatrix , peter , sirius , harry , Ron , hermione , james , lockhart etc .
I love and deeply appreciate your talent but imo snape's behaviour is reversed in TLE , he is just too angry here to think coherently let alone insult or attempt at sarcasm .
I mean Remus has more sarcasm and wit than he has in canon and i have no complain there as i am a sucker for wity banter and humor , but it feels like injustice to Snape's personality to me .
I’m sorry you feel that way! I emphatically (and amicably) disagree.
I think for me it comes down to the fact that I am not trying to replicate the characters exactly as they were in the books. TLE is a prequel, and thus for all the characters — but especially Snape because he actually survives — this is a story of becoming. They’re not meant to be perfectly reflected versions of who they were in the '90s, but rather versions of themselves that could feasibly grow into the characters we see in canon.
The Snape in canon is a 35ish year old man who has survived a war and had years and years to master his emotions and become a top-notch spy who, as you say, sasses the likes of Bellatrix, not to mention lies to Voldemort's face. The Snape I’m writing in TLE is a 17-year-old boy who has done none of that yet but is raw and bitter and wrathful enough to be convinced joining a fascist hate group is a really swell idea.
To me, the moments you point out when Snape loses his cool in canon are the entire point of his characterization, not an occasional aberration, and these scenes were crucial to me when building his character. Rage is crucial to his character. It’s notable, I think, that almost all of these moments are related to the Marauders/Lily in some way. It’s the moment the mask slips and the wounded teenager comes out.
A few examples, just for fun (emphasis mine).
(This got a little long, but I was distracting myself during some severe weather that was stressing me, so I hope you’ll take this in the spirit of fun discussion, and not anything else. 🙂)
From POA, after Sirius escapes:
“THEY HELPED HIM ESCAPE, I KNOW IT!” Snape howled, pointing at Harry and Hermione. His face was twisted; spit was flying from his mouth.
“Calm down, man!” Fudge barked. “You’re talking nonsense!”
“YOU DON’T KNOW POTTER!” shrieked Snape. “HE DID IT, I KNOW HE DID IT—!”
“Fellow seems quite unbalanced,” said Fudge, staring after him. “I’d watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore.”
“Oh, he’s not unbalanced,” said Dumbledore quietly. “He’s just suffered a severe disappointment.”
From OOTP after Harry sees his worst memory:
“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb. “So…been enjoying yourself, Potter?”
“N-no…” said Harry, trying to free his arm.
It was scary: Snape’s lips were shaking, his face was white, his teeth were bared.
“Amusing man, your father, wasn’t he?” Said Snape, shaking Harry so hard that his glasses slipped down his nose.
“I—didn’t—“
Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard on to the dungeon floor.
From Half-Blood Prince, after Harry calls him a coward:
“DON’T—” screamed Snape, and his face was suddenly demented, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog stuck in the burning house behind them— “CALL ME COWARD!”
These are all such extreme reactions that, rare as they might be, they definitely suggest an undercurrent of deep rage and, I might add, a pattern of losing control when provoked with certain memories.
And then, of course, there are the flashbacks in which we actually DO get glimpses of young Snape:
“Tuney!” said Lily, surprise and welcome in her voice, but Snape had jumped to his feet.
“Who’s spying now?” he shouted. What d’you want?”
(Interesting, I think, that his first instinct is to shout. Petunia hasn't said anything yet.)
There was a crack: A branch over Petunia’s head had fallen. Lily screamed: The branch caught Petunia on the shoulder, and she staggered backward and burst into tears.
“Tuney!”
But Petunia was running away. Lily rounded on Snape.
“Did you make that happen?”
“No.” He looked both defiant and scared.
“You did!” She was backing away from him. “You did! You hurt her!”
“No — no I didn’t!”
But the lie did not convince Lily: After one last burning look, she ran from the little thicket, off after her sister, and Snape looked miserable and confused…
Snape’s whole face contorted and he spluttered, “Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends’ too! You’re not going to — I won’t let you —“
“Let me? Let me?”
Lily’s bright green eyes were slits. Snape backtracked at once.
“I didn’t mean — I just won’t want to see you made a fool of — He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!” The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. “And he’s not…everyone thinks…big Quidditch hero—“
Snape’s bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily’s eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead.
He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.
“I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.”
“No—listen, I didn’t mean—“
“—to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?”
He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole…
This to me does not read as a composed, confident boy. This is (in my opinion) an extremely angry, troubled boy who is buffeted around by his emotions, who hasn’t yet learned to articulate them fully, let alone control them. Learning to conquer these emotions and be the cool, calm, and collected double-agent-man we see in canon is a big part of his journey, but it's certainly not something he's mastered yet at 17.
.......But, at the end of the day, this is just a fanfic and everyone has different interpretations of these characters. Which is fine and fun! TLE Snape has always been somewhat polarizing, but I'm pretty set in my interpretation of him. I'm looking forward to exploring more of his journey as he grows into book Snape. He's just not there yet. :)
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Do you have to make Remus and Sirius Gay? Please don’t do it.
I do. Legally. I am contractually obliged to the headcanons I’ve had for half my life to make them Gay. 😐
Friendly reminder that 1) this has been in the tags since literally the first chapter of TLE1 was posted in 2020, 2) I already have the entire story mapped out and 3) I don’t deviate from my plot based on reader requests.
Cheers!
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"Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a single wildflower strewn on the dusty library floor, one that had slipped out of her diary that he’d missed. Quickly, so that she wouldn’t see, so that she wouldn’t guess what he’d done, he crushed it beneath his heel."
Rereading the chapter because of course I am, and this little moment really jumped out at me. I was so struck by the metaphor of it all. It's so sweet to imagine young Lily picking wildflowers and hiding them in the pages of her diary, like her life used to be so bright and happy that it needed to be adorned with the beauty she found. And then one slips out in the middle of this horrible act, like this last lingering remnant of the Lily that picked wildflowers and spilled her feelings freely, before Sirius reads the diary, before her mum. It's the very last hope that this Lily might not be lost... but Snape crushes it. He chooses to selfishly shield himself from the discovery of the horrible thing he'd done, and in doing so he crushes something beautiful, something innocent. He crushes her happiness so that he might keep her affection.
What a little microcosm of their friendship.
I do not know how I got so lucky as to have such amazing readers like you who not only pick up on all my favorite little moments, but then share these utterly beautiful, thoughtful, insightful readings.
This made me teary in the bestest way, thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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