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strawberry-cow-snuggles · 2 years

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The Giant Human (Part 1/?)

Category: Humorous Scenario

Characters: Solomon and Lucifer

Themes: Humor, Size Differences, Magical Experimentation, Balding Lucifer, Lucifer Threatening Solomon

Description: As soon as the most recent Resident Evil game revealed Lady Dimitrescu's design, millions began simping shamelessly over the alluring 9.5-foot giantess. How would the men we've all come to simp overreact to finding out the human they've summoned is unnaturally of similar proportions?

Solomon

Solomon's magic always goes "wrong" in ways he totally hadn't intended. ...Yeah right. Smug bastard planned on combining an enlarging spell in the summoning circle and figured you'd make the perfect test subject. This entire thing? All his fault.

Initial Reaction:

Internally: "Oh wonderful! It was a success! They didn't explode!!!" (EXCUSE ME, SIR, THEY DIDN'T WHAT--)

Externally: "Oh, haha... It appears I may have made a mistake when drawing the summoning circle. Silly me ^-^ I'll get to researching a way to change them back to normal. I could try a simple size reduction spell, but combined with the leftover magic from the summoning, I can't promise there won't be painful side effects." Safe to say you opted to wait a while. Being super tall isn't so bad when compared to being super in pain or super dead.

He hadn't really expected the experiment to be a success, but he's silently thanking Barbatos for choosing the one timeline in which you haven't died at his hands and saving his ass from the wrath of literally all of Hell.

After some time:

Solomon puts the size reduction spell on the backburner for the sake of chaos and reaching the top shelves in the library.

He often spends time tutoring you in different RAD subjects in exchange for using you as a test subject for some "harmless" (very risky) spells that he has yet to test on someone affected by an enlargement spell.

He'll continue to fumble a few basic summoning spells during class to improve the see-through illusion that your enlargement was a mistake. As long as Diavolo believes it's a mistake, or at least claims to, Lucifer can't really touch him or his beloved tomes.

Once you're normal-sized again:

Solomon regrets relinquishing his favorite test subject, but he does enjoy the fact he no longer has Lucifer breathing down the back of his neck 24/7 to fix you. Sometimes the thought of having a spell go "astray" and turning you into a giant again crosses his mind, but he worries that Barbatos and Lucifer would strangle him for giving them more paperwork to file about the incident. The demons airing out their frustrations might not kill him, but the magic man could really do without the pain that comes with it.

Though he's now taller than you, he'll occasionally send you a meme he found on Devilgram about the struggles of tall people. Occasionally he'll commission Levi to photoshop your face onto the tall person in the meme, just for shits and giggles.

Solomon tries to think about how he can transform you a second time to satisfy his curiosity without endangering his immortality.

Lucifer

Lucifer is in dire need of a break from the constant headaches caused between Diavolo's impulses and the six morons he (regretfully) looks after. Having to look after four new exchange students and ensuring they aren't eaten alive is bound to be yet another stressor in his life, but their first few days shouldn't be so bad. At this stage their main concerns are getting moved in and learning everyone's names, right? SOLOMON YOU BASTARD--

Initial Reaction

Internally: "What the hell did we just summon? There's no way this is a human! Have humans really become that large since the last time I visited their realm?!"

Externally, in a hushed tone: "Lord Diavolo... Did something go wrong? I can't seem to recall ever feeling this... small next to a human."

Maintains his calm and somewhat cold exterior for the sake of appearances, though he is a little bit stressed that someone other than Beel might be able to see any bald spots before he can use a spell to fix them. With how much damage control he runs for the thirteen of them (seven brothers, the prince, his butler, two angels, and now two humans), the stress takes more of a toll on his hair than you'd expect.

After some time:

Lucifer eventually finds out Solomon's "mistake" was intentional and is furious with him. Every spare moment of his time is spent blowing up Solomon's phone with thinly veiled threats about what could "accidentally" happen to his precious grimoires if he doesn't expedite the modified size-reduction spell.

Lucifer eventually gets used to making accommodations on the fly to your unexpected condition: having to prepare yet another oversized plate at every meal, getting a temporarily larger bed, getting a specially tailored RAD Uniform, etc. Granted, your portions still aren't enough to rival Beel's, your bed isn't quite as big as Lucifer's, and the fabric in your wardrobe is still dwarfed by Asmo's collections among other things, but having to instantly manifest solutions to navigate your newfound problems is causing him to lose hair almost as fast as he can regrow it. He used to only have to perform the spell once or twice a month. Now, it's every three to four days. He's worried he'll run out of MP at this rate and go bald by the end of the semester.

His bank account and his vanity are taking serious hits here. The only times the bags under his eyes have ever been darker was during the one time Barbatos was sick and Diavolo decided to cook lunch with Solomon in his stead, but that's a story for another day. At this point, he's considering paying off one of Mammon's debts to a witch in order to get one of them to come down and fix things because Solomon's taking his damn sweet time.

Once you're normal-sized again:

Lucifer can't be more pleased that his secret balding is no longer at risk of becoming a public talking point. He's also rather pleased he didn't have to involve one of Mammon's witches. It's safe to say he enjoyed one of the more upscale bottles of demonus from his private collection the night you were returned to your true size.

"If it weren't for Lord Diavolo, I would have killed Solomon by now for not only constantly pestering me for a pact, but for being a bigger thorn in my side than Mammon is at times. Solomon? Are you prepared to be a chandelier in the House of Lamentation for the next week? No? Perhaps the next month?!"

He does miss how easy you were to find in large crowds and the fact that your predicament kept his brothers busy enough to not cause much of a ruckus. Perhaps once Solomon develops a SAFE way to do that again, he'll take advantage of that spell when he decides to enjoy some well-deserved R&R.

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