#THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED AT THE INN
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call it what you want
chapter 1/5
2.1k
story rated m (eventual sandwiches; don’t like, don’t read!)
chapter rated t
Callum and Rayla spend their first night on the road navigating the weirdness of their...whatever-they-are.
Excerpt:
It’s dusk when she and Callum get to the inn, and for the tenth night in a row…Rayla isn’t sure what they are.
She’d accepted that a long time ago, of course—about two years and ten days ago, in fact. She’d known when she’d left—and certainly when she’d been on her way back—that the warm castle she’d spent all that time longing for might turn a cold shoulder to her, that she might have wrecked the only chance at a home she has left—
That she and Callum might never be like they were before.
But…everything else had turned out fine, actually. She’s just as welcome as before—Opeli’s suspicions included—and Katolis has already started to feel like it could be home again—Opeli’s suspicions aside—and…she has Callum to thank for that.
They’re…not like they were before, but—
Even if he doesn’t love her quite the same way, he trusts her, she knows—unconditionally, even with a broken heart—and…that’s hope enough alone, even without all his sweet dorky jokes, or the random recitations of love poems, or all that heartfelt care he just can’t seem to help but show her.
It’s not the same—their…whatever-it-is—but it still could be, she thinks, even if things are weird still, even with him always at an arm’s length, lingering in doorways, keeping to boundaries they never could as kids…
…and speaking of boundaries—
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#rayllum#rayllum fanfic#you know what time it is <33333#THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED AT THE INN#spice to follow!!!#gotta have that sweet sweet set-up and it was getting Long so....#chapters#tdp s5 spoilers
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episode 8 fix it where izzy does get shot, but it doesnt kill him- its on the left side after all! a gunshot does more damage than a sword, so he has a longer healing time ahead, and with him still learning how to live missing a leg, they all agree that its best he doesn't sail away with them, that itd be better if he stayed on land while he recovers
conveniently, he just so happens to know two men who are looking to start an inn on land! he can stay with them, help them complete repairs (god knows neither of them knows what theyre doing themselves) he can whittle little souvenirs on his sick bed; he can help moderate their ideas ("theres no point picking drapes yet stede, we don't have a fucking window") he can heal in peace.
maybe he could try being someone else other than the great izzy hands, maybe he could make something new here. no captains, no first mates, just izzy and ed and stede
#honestly you don't even need to change anything the grave could be a 'memory of the great izzy hands; the pirate'#just have ed + stede walk into their inn and theres izzy- injured; but alive#after the fishing scene i am unapologetically making ed incompetent at physical labour#hes fucking great at being a pirate captain; fighting; coming up with plans; but getting his hands dirty? boring#thats izzys job!#nyxtalks#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#izzy hands#israel hands#steddy hands#steddyhands#thats where this goes for me. no question about it#that was a 'there was only one bed' size inn and of course izzy needs it for his recovery but you think ed + stede will sleep on the floor?#NO#this is canon to me i refuse to believe he's dead. hes there with them in that inn.
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Writers be original challenge and improve your plot rather than the “chilli pepper level”
#they call him the silent death because he has terrible flatulence#midnight meetings of the illicit types#and most importantly only one bed at the inn#I am screaming into the void of darkness and ruin#a court of unoriginality and copycats
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Also partial to the concept of rui and nene playing 4D mind chess with each other where rui is trying to hint that he knows nene likes emu and nene is trying to hint that she knows rui likes tsukasa but they’re both actually morons and completely unaware of what their own feelings are so they just get really confused vs emu outright ambushing tsukasa with “I like nenechan” “thank you for telling me emu I’m so happy you trusted me with this-“ “it’s because I know you like rui-kun teehee 😋” “- I’ll be sure to keep your secre- WHAT”
#i had a half written thing in my mind where emu did this to rui but it’s way funnier to do it to tsukasa so. maybe I’ll write both someday#(lying)#mine#tsukasa#nene#emu#rui#also half written thing in my mind that’s an offshoot of the fantasy au#where they’re all staying at an inn and rui (attempting to meddle) gets one room w 2 beds and one room with 1#and is like ohhhh how tragic they only had one room left with 2 beds (lying) nene and emu you don’t mind shar-‘#& then emu (meddling on behalf of tsukasa) is like ohhh (grabs key to the double room) thanks for volunteering to take the single bed#tsukasa-kun 😊!! bye!! (dragging nene away)#tsukasa standing there sputtering before being like fine whatever u don’t mind do u.#1) rui proceeds to have a feelings realization later that night 2) emu and nene share a bed anyways#nene: (incredibly dissapointed) ah I guess they’ll be sharing a bed then#emu: we can share a bed too nenechan 😊#nene: then why did you take the double roo-… nevermind.#fantasy au is like 30% rui meddling w emunene on behalf of nene#tsukasa meddling w emunene on behalf of emu (fails every time) & emu meddling on behalf of tsukasa and later rui#nene does not meddle she’s too dense to realize what’s happening <3
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what if the YLLZ-version of WWX comes back to life post-canon and finds/gets found by Wen Qing
who is alive and well and stashed in a little village in the middle of nowhere, and bitter about things but that was In The Past and she can't do anything about it
both of them extremely not wanting to meet JC, squabbling like "how could you--""how could YOU""I'm not listening, what we're going to do is--""shut up, we're doing this my way, your plans always work so well""and yours do?!"
"you literally just returned, you have no idea what's been happening""and you've been holed up in bumfuck nowhere for ten years! you said you haven't been keeping up""that's still better than you, an actual dead person come back to life"
WQ, grudgingly: "I have heard there is one of you. I dismissed it at first because they spoke of you going to Gusu. But then they mentioned Wen Ning." (you could hear a pin drop.)
WWX: "oh, so that's why your house looked like you were leaving. You were going to go and find out."
WQ: "and instead I found you."
they definitely get found by JC
this is a wwx/wq/jc future-fic btw
#mdzs#chengqingxian#they have like. one scruple between them and it's not doing well#wwx keeps being reminded of jc bc wq is big on the Do Not Cause Problems WWX we don't want to attract attention#he knows! he was there for the flight from LP!#ppl keep assuming they're married#it is in fact less conspicuous to take only one room at inns with only one bed
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hold on are you telling me that if you play a dark urge, Shadowheart basically confirms that you sleep together at least semi-regularly by the end of act 2
I must have many thoughts about this immediately
(I did always think that there's no reason for the party not to spend at least one night in real beds at Last Light before they'd start heading towards Moonrise...)
#squirrel plays bg3#i mean. it's an inn. and there's at least one big empty room#sure there are more people than beds pictured but that means nothing#I'm not thinking “and there was only one bed”#more “hi u didn't fuck me when u could and now I'm starting to have confusing feelings. let's not talk and rather just have sex about them.”#oc: petyr wildbrook
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When straight authors include random hints in scenes that their characters fucked off-page or outright show it on-page, it's dumb and annoying and I don't care. When I do it it's to bless myself and my readers with the beauty of lesbians and also an act of spite against all the authors who are apparently allergic to letting their lesbians/sapphics get nasty.
#I may be stingy with my sex scenes but that doesn't mean I'll shy away from fade-to-blacks or hints in inn scenes#(stingy as in i will only include them where it serves the plot/characterization)#the one exception is there was a chapter in one Witcher book that starts with the end of geralt and.... triss I think?? doing it and#triss(?) got really loud and a random guy in one of the buildings nearby shouted ''YEAH!!! WOO!!!!'' which fucking killed me#like if you must include straight sex at least be funny about it#this post brought to you by me deciding ''fuck it'' and including a line about tarinne picking her boxers up off the floor after she#gets out of their bed in an inn scene
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i've been watching the Poirot series with David Suchet (for the second time in my life) and I absolutely love how fun this series is. Absolutely fantastic, no notes. Poirot is essential.
"where are you going Poirot???"
"to bed"
"you don't seem to understand this is a matter of national emergency!!! I do not intend to sleep until the prime minister is found!!!"
".... and I'm sure that will make you feel very virtuous. for me. i need to restore the little gray cells"
"why can't you leave me alone??? don't you know what it's like to love a man??"
Hastings (Poirot's male associate): "well uh. no. uh. not exactly."
Also, the face of a very patient Belgian after overhearing a group of British men saying how "froggy" doesn't know what he's doing.
"Froggy knows she didn't do it"
#agatha christie's poirot#poirot#extremely fun show#one day i'll have all the books#hastings also shares a bed with the male police inspector in another episode because there WAS ONLY ONE BED AT THE INN
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Ch 1: I'm throwing stones at your window
Multi-chap really excellently titled inn fic /s
I can't be blamed, I'm powerless against puns.
#tdp fanfic#tdp rayllum#rayla and callum#we all know what happened at this inn#there was only one bed
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i'm back. (and i didn't commit murder, but it was close.)
#lily talks#i took some nice pictures that i'll probably post later#many creatures to be seen#but all that really needs to be said is that it was exhausting and i'm done socialising for the rest of the month#i am so tired of dealing with extroverts#there was only one bed but unfortunately instead of a friends to lovers fic this was more like strangers to enemies lmao#(not quite that bad but oof)#like my roomate was alright even if we ahd absolutely NOTHING in common but she was incapable of talking in an indoor voice#or just not saying something for longer than 2 minutes#and this one dude nearly chewed my ear off with his whining about having to walk places and do things#like you know#as is to be expected of a course like this one#food was the shit though#today i ate my weight in Kaiserschmarrn and that is the type of life i want to lead#also once again bavarians are on a whole other level#suffered a cultural shock talking to them#(why would you mix dark beer with coke and cherry liqueur??#that was probably the first time since i moved here that i felt understood by the austrians#also shout out to the woman running the inn we were staying at who saved us all by literally putting our shoes in the oven to dry#ironically the only day of this trip that my feet were dry was today when i had to put on a chest wader and get into a river up to my hips#in conclusion#i am not made for conducting research outside#(i nearly died on our hike and almost had to crawl towards the end bc it was so steep and uneven before giving up entirely)#but the perfect job for me is work where you have to pay attention to detail and can take as long as you'd like#i had to check riverbed samples for larvae and stuff today and that was the most relaxing thing i've done in ages
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🌹🌹🌹🌹 :3
let's be honest, I view the number of roses as a suggestion and not a concrete rule, hence why you end up with about three times as many sentences :-P
from my first go-around at a fixit for Flight of the Heron that might just end up being something else entirely...
[set post canon, hence spoilers]
—
“I cannot sleep,” uttered Keith to the flickering half-dark of the room, his voice low and rough. “Try as I might…”
“Nor I,” admitted Ewen. He lay staring up at the tester above them for a long moment, his chest aching with the unspoken grief that had haunted him all these months. Perhaps Keith too remembered Morar… those pale sands, white as bone under the light of the full moon, Keith’s blood, black as the sea… At last Ewen spoke, hesitant and nervous.
“I… I would like very much to hold you, if you’ll allow me,” he said, so quietly he scarcely heard his own words. “Please.”
A heavy silence followed, and for one long, terrible moment Ewen wondered if he had at last asked for more than Keith was willing to give; he remembered how stiffly Keith had held him that first night so long ago, and how tense Keith had been when Ewen had held him in return.
“I would like that,” murmured Keith hoarsely, resting his head on Ewen’s shoulder. Slowly, Ewen’s arms went around Keith, unsure that his embrace would be welcomed, yet it seemed that it was, for Keith pressed himself against Ewen’s side and held him tight.
#the flight of the heron#my writing#heron spoilers#the lads got only-one-bedded at an inn and are Having A Time#if you want context
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I fucking love when characters in a book are like “if this were a novel, xyz would happen. But it’s not a novel; it’s real life” give me all the genre and narrative awareness
#my current book has a mc who reads smut#and he just landed in an inn with his traveling companion#and guess what#there’s only one bed#and he’s like ‘get your shit together it’s not sexy’#and I’m burrowing deeper into my blanket and mentally grabbing the popcorn#because while it might not be sexy right now#it definitely WILL be before the book ends
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Fluffvember Prompt 15: Favourite Trope
There were high bed losses during the Calamity. Just got to make do with sharing.
#FFXIV#Final Fantasy XIV#GPOSE#T'ahria Lasa#WolSid#SidWol#warrior of light x sidurgu#fluffvember#Oh no there's only one bed in every inn room whatever will they do#Unplanned cuddles are optional
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mojo dojo casa house
Howdy folks! Sorry for the delay, I was, uhhhh covering the Tour de France. Anyway, I'm back in Chicago which means this blog has returned to the Chicago suburbs. I'm sure you've all seen Barbie at this point so this 2019 not-so-dream house will come as a pleasant (?) surprise.
Yeah. So this $2.4 million, 7 bed, 8.5+ bath house is over 15,000 square feet and let me be frank: that square footage is not allocated in any kind of efficient or rational manner. It's just kind of there, like a suburban Ramada Inn banquet hall. You think that by reading this you are prepared for this, but no, you are not.
Scale (especially the human one) is unfathomable to the people who built this house. They must have some kind of rare spatial reasoning problem where they perceive themselves to be the size of at least a sedan, maybe a small aircraft. Also as you can see they only know of the existence of a single color.
Ok, but if you were eating a single bowl of cereal alone where would you sit? Personally I am a head of the table type person but I understand that others might be more discreet.
It is undeniable that they put the "great" in great room. You could race bicycles in here. Do roller derby. If you gave this space to three anarchists you would have a functioning bookshop and small press in about a week.
The island bit is so funny. It's literally so far away it's hard to get them in the same image. It is the most functionally useless space ever. You need to walk half a mile to get from the island to the sink or stove.
Of course, every McMansion has a room just for television (if not more than one room) and yet this house fails even to execute that in a way that matters. Honestly impressive.
The rug placement here is physical comedy. Like, they know they messed up.
Bling had a weird second incarnation in the 2010s HomeGoods scene. Few talk about this.
Honestly I think they should have scrapped all of this and built a bowling alley or maybe a hockey rink. Basketball court. A space this grand is wasted on sports of the table variety.
You would also think that seeing the rear exterior of this house would help to rationalize how it's planned but:
Not really.
Anyways, thanks for coming along for another edition of McMansion Hell. I'll be back to regular posting schedule now that the summer is over so keep your eyes peeled for more of the greatest houses to ever exist. Be sure to check the Patreon for today's bonus posts.
Also P.S. - I'm the architecture critic for The Nation now, so check that out, too!
If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar, because media work is especially recession-vulnerable.
#architecture#design#mcmansion#mcmansions#ugly houses#interior design#bad architecture#2010s#2019#Illinois
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I just got a hankering for a game that I don't think exists.
It's a business simulator where you run a pub in a fantasy RPG world, where adventurers come in to meet quest-givers and rest up for the night.
Keeping the business afloat isn't just about making sure your beer's well-kept and not too expensive, this is a diverse world of fantasy beings and it doesn't matter how good your stout is, someone who only eats rocks isn't going to give you anything.
Sure you have loads of table space, but you need to make sure your room has enough dark corners or Mysterious Cloaked Figures are just going to meet them in the graveyard or something.
You need rooms, with beds. And those aren't one-size-sleeps-all: you don't want to be the one to tell a troll she'll have to sleep in the stables - oh, and you need stables of course.
Oh, and if a fight breaks out you're going to need to be able to break that up before the showboating warrior goes through all your tables.
And remember, some of these quests that odd people in black cloaks are dishing out over a pint of your finest might be what stands between a Mighty Evil and the continued existence of your inn, so make sure they're leaving your establishment healthy.
But also one of those shadies might actually be ligit shady and recruiting for the Mighty Evil so you need to nip that in the bud - no matter how well they pay.
I would absolutely suck at this game.
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── 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍'𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 : monkey d. luffy.
content: fem!reader. unprotected sεx, praise, implied virgin! luffy, inexperienced! reader, possessive behavior, a little manipulation at the beginning (reader to luffy). lots of cum. overstimulation. a mention of being used. confession at the end. note: my first one piece work! kinda nervous honestly v_v
— . ｡˚ ♡ you're hellbent on making the straw hats' captain yours.
thinking about how easy it is to just cry and sweet-talk your way into sitting on luffy's dick <3
he's already crushing on you to begin with. head over heels, almost. the moment he allowed you onto his ship, welcoming you into the crew so easily and ordering everyone to make you feel right at home — it had made his feelings obvious enough.
luffy has space for only two thoughts in that cute little head of his, and it just makes things easier for you to know that one of them is consisted of you. the other being to become the king of pirates, of course.
“how does it feel to be the captain's favourite?" zoro often remarks all sarcastic, and when you simply laugh and wave his comment away, luffy laughs right along with you. he's absolutely clueless.
to luffy, you look so innocent, and you've been so nice to him — you're just so sweet! helping him around, humouring all his jokes and stupid ideas, explaining things to him over and over with such patience when he just doesn't get it. and you even call him captain! you're just so lovely, and so pretty to look at on top of it<3
he trusts you so easily when you give him a pout, letting the tears glitter at your lashline as you ask him, “captain luffy, please?” you tell him you've never been touched like this before, that you need it, you need it so desperately — and you need it from him — to have his hands on you and to feel all full on him.
he agrees so easily, it's adorable. he's so giggly and giddy as he sits you on his lap up in his room at some nameless inn at the next island you stopped at. you'd fallen onto the rickety little couch backed up against the wall, too needy for eachother and too full of excitement to even make it to the bed.
he's so cute as he grits his teeth and groans, fingers digging into your hips as he slows the way you sink into his cock— unable to handle the way your warm, velvet walls wrap around him so well.
and once you're on his dick, it's even easier to get him addicted to having you on it.
“w—wait, wait wait wait—” his jaw hangs slack, allowing all his little gasps and whines and every little curse and word of praise that forms at his throat to freely pour out into your skin where he's latched his mouth onto.
he tries to kiss you, but he just can't focus on one thing enough when you feel so good around him, your thighs straddling his hips so well, your hands holding onto his shoulders so hard as you move up and down— so warm, so wet and so lovely, and suddenly not enough.
he needs more. he wants you to go faster. “more,” he whines, so good at telling you exactly what he wants. he's quite sure by now that you've done this before—and if you haven't, then you're damn good at it despite this being your first time— so he's unabashed. “more, faster. wanna cum.”
“mhm,” you sigh, giving him a heart-eyed look as you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him sweetly and hugging him to you, giggling into the crook of his neck. “anything for my—ngh—my darling captain.”
at this point, he's in love with you.
he wraps his arms around you then, sliding his body lower in his seat, into a more comfortable position where he can set the pace himself. “careful,” he warns between clenched teeth when your hand slips from his shoulders.
letting you adjust, he grabs your waist, holding you tight in place — gives you a little “hang on, princess.” before he starts fucking up into you his own way.
it's slow at first, but you can feel the way the slap of his thighs against your ass gets harder with each thrust, how the slow, deep strokes get faster and shallower with each hit—and then he's got the tables turned on you, forcing you to grab at his nape, his hair, his arms, anything to retain your balance while he hits it as hard and deep as he likes.
“ah—ah, luffy!”
“captain luffy, princess.” he groans, voice barely there, grabbing your ass and giving it a squeeze, loving how pliable you are in his hands. his pace stutters every now and then, dick slipping out to smack at your clit before he's putting it back in with a groan.
and oh, you know he's likely never done this before, but god he's making you feel so good. he's so desperate, shamelessly using you like a toy to fuck into, eyes hazy and body tensing up with each thrust. “aaah, fuck, so good … so good, so goodsogoodsogood—”
and just like that, with one last thrust into you that goes in balls deep and throws stars into your eyes, he cums into you. he cums so hard.
hot, thick ropes of milky white fill you up and drool out of you, dripping onto luffy's thighs and staining the seat below, his cute little ah—ahh!’s of uncontrollable bliss drowning out the wet sounds your body makes as his cock gets milked all up by your messy cunt.
it's enough to make you cum along with him, your walls squeezing him so impossibly tight, fluttering warm and wet around his sensitive tip as he ruts into you, so sloppy now yet still insatiable.
he has all the stamina you knew he'd have and more, fucking you through your orgasm just the way you like. just the way you wanted him to.
sitting on luffy's dick is a task easy enough to do, but getting off proves to be difficult.
“fuuuuck,” he sighs, voice going just a bit pitchier than usual as he sinks into the seat, taking your hips in his hands and nudging you back and forth on his cock, using you to carry himself through his high. the way his base drags at your clit is electrifying, and you can't help but throw your head back and moan.
the post-orgasm high is delicious.
“hah, y’like that? mhm?” he smiles up at you, giddy and dazed. “felt so good, princess. you never done this before, huh?”
“mmm,” you mumble, slumping into him and feeling the way he drinks up your scent, not really confirming or denying his statement.
“hah,” he laughs, tightening his arms around you. “can only do it with me from now on though, mkay? you okay with that?”
after that fucking? hell yes. you're so happy, so full, so warm and so content right now, with his arms around you, his lips on your skin and his dick still throbbing inside you.
you'd known luffy would be good. it's why you'd worked your way to this moment in the first place — but you didn't think he'd be this fucking good.
he'd been a little shy and unsure of himself at first, but god, when he'd finally gotten the hang of it, when he'd finally snapped, he'd fucked you so good.
”heyy,” luffy taps your head gently. “you alright? can you hear me, hm?”
“mhm.” you respond, turning your head to rest your cheek on his shoulder, giving the lobe of his ear a little nibble and making him laugh. “i can hear you, captain.”
“asked you somethin'.” he kisses the side of your head and presses a palm to your back, rubbing the expanse of skin gently for you. oh, he's so in love. “only me, mkay?”
“mkay.” you agree, a giggle slipping from you when he gives you a dopey grin and wraps his arms tighter around you, pulling you right against his warm, sticky body and going right to sleep with you in his lap. the couch is old and creaky — but luffy makes a comfortable bed, you think. you can take it, for a night at least.
because after this, you think you might be in love with him, too. and either way, you definitely don't want to get off his dick just yet.
#₊˚ପ⊹ REKHA™.#₊˚ପ⊹ NYCHTA.#one piece smut#one piece x reader#luffy smut#luffy x reader#monkey d. luffy x reader#monkey d. luffy smut#op smut#op x reader#luffy x y/n#luffy x reader smut#luffy headcanons#smut headcanons#luffy scenarios#one piece scenario#one piece imagine#luffy imagine#luffy x you
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