#Sigma didn't deserve all that shit which happen to him. To think about all of this makes me so sad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kunikidas-lost-glasses · 11 months

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Sigchuuzai headcanon - Sigma having scars on his neck

TWs: Major Spoilers for Sigma’s backstory, mentions of slavery, description of injuries

Takes place in my BSD Fix-It AU (post-DoA arc). Sigma is a member of the ADA here and lives together with Chuuya and Dazai in an apartment.

The main reason why Sigma wears turtleneck sweaters is so he can hide the scars which go all around his throat.

The scars are from the time where he was kept as a slave at the organization which captured him in the desert and who used him for his ability. Back then was always wearing a heavy and tight shackle/metal collar around his neck which left his skin bruised and scarred.

When Fyodor told Nikolai to get rid of it after Fyodor took Sigma into the Decay of Angels, the skin underneath the metal had been irritated, red and bloody and there where the edges of the collar had been, the skin was bruised and had little cuts due to the metal being uneven and with sharp edges.

While the irritations and the bruises would disappear slowly after weeks, the cuts and bloody areas became scars.

They are very faint and one would probably only see them if they focused explicitly on his neck but for them, they will always point out. Whenever they wear something which isn’t covering their throat, they will feel as if the scars would be the first thing everyone would see when looking at them. Like they would be some colorful sign used for advertisement which blinks with obnoxiously bright lights.

Even after he exchanged his old outfit for a new one after he joined the ADA, he kept wearing a turtleneck sweater.

Of course, Dazai noticed that no matter which outfit Sigma would wear, his throat would be covered with something. A turtleneck sweater, a scarf, even in summer Sigma would find ways to cover his neck in a stylish way.

He would never ask about it though, not wanting to make his partner uncomfortable or make them feel pressured to tell him. If Sigma wanted to tell him, he would be there but Sigma should come to him out of his own will, when he felt ready and comfortable.

Chuuya did the same. He too wouldn’t confront Sigma about it but in secret, he and Dazai were a bit worried about them.

Of course Dazai thought about possible answers to Sigma always covering his throat but he never did some research about the others' past. He knew a bit about it from what Fyodor told him when they both had been at Meursault but he didn’t know in depth details or what happened in this year before Fyodor found Sigma.

Even after work, when Sigma was alone with Chuuya and Dazai at their shared apartment, he would still always cover his throat. To bed, he would usually wear a kerchief, praying that neither Dazai nor Chuuya would ask him about it.

During their first night together at the apartment, Chuuya did in fact ask Sigma if he was feeling well and Dazai asked him if he felt sick or had a sore throat but after Sigma told them that this wasn’t the case, the other two simply exchanged a glance and never asked about it again.

It stayed like this for months until one evening, Dazai accidentally saw Sigma without his neck covered.

He forgot to knock before entering their bedroom despite the door being closed due to being way too caught up in thought.

He was startled out of his thoughts when the pillow which Sigma threw hit his face

He quickly apologized and left the room as quickly as he came but he actually didn’t even look at Sigma’s neck. Out of reflex he looked away as quick as he could and didn’t even think about stealing a glance out of curiosity.

However when Sigma came to him into the living room and sat down next to him on the couch where Dazai had been waiting until he could go into their bedroom to change a few minutes later, Sigma seemed incredibly nervous and when he asked Dazai if he saw “them”, he wouldn’t stop unconsciously picking at his fingers.

Dazai was completely caught off guard and gently took his partner's hands into his, asking what he meant.

He was already ready for Sigma standing up, hitting him with “nothing” and quickly walking away, telling him to forget it but instead of doing so, Sigma would take a shaky breath, pointing at his neck which was uncovered.

That Sigma had scars on his neck was one of the possibilities which Dazai considered but seeing that this really was the case, made Dazai’s heart sink a bit.

He just replied that he didn’t see them but he also thanked him for showing them to him, since he remembered that this was what Chuuya said when Dazai showed him his scars for the first time.

Sigma just nodded.

There was a long, heavy and awkward silence between them afterwards. Dazai didn’t dare to ask them the story behind the scars and Sigma didn’t dare to say anything, anxious thoughts filling up his mind.

However, Dazai wouldn’t let go of the other’s cold and shaky hands, gently caressing the back of them with his thumbs and squeezing them reassuringly.

Sigma was the one to break the silence, telling Dazai about the organization, the slavery, his time in the desert, the metal collar, what they made him do and everything else.

His voice was shaky and sometimes his voice would crack while his eyes were filled with tears.

Dazai listened to him quietly, holding his hands.

He didn’t show it, but hearing about what happened and what they did to him, made him feel more anger than he felt for months.

After Sigma finished telling him, Dazai quietly thanked him for telling him all of this.

Afterwards there was a short silence before Dazai pulled Sigma into a tight hug, which Sigma quickly returned.

They clinged to Dazai as if their life would depend on him as they couldn’t hold the tears back anymore

Dazai held them, burying his face in the crook of Sigma’s neck, telling them that they didn’t deserve all of this but also telling them that they stilled looked beautiful with the scars visible and he reassured him that he loved him (and Chuuya) more than anything in the whole world.

He also thanked him once again for the trust to tell him about it.

He let Sigma cry as much as they needed to, not letting go of them.

Sigma felt as if a whole mountain got lifted off his heart. He had never talked about this with anyone and showed his scars to nobody and even if he knew that there had been no reason to feel that way, he had been scared of the reaction of Dazai and Chuuya. Now that at least one of them knew about it and after being able to finally talk about it with someone dear to him, it genuinely felt as if tons of weight were lifted off his heart.

He apologized to Dazai between his sobs, telling him that he had wanted to tell him and Chuuya about it much earlier but that he had been scared to do so.

Dazai quickly shushed him, replying that everything was alright and that that wasn’t something he should feel sorry about and that he didn’t need to apologize for which Sigma thanked him and hugged Dazai even tighter if that was even possible.

They sat there for quite some time like that, holding each other and Dazai letting Sigma cry it all out until Chuuya suddenly came into the living room.

The redhead had been at work until evening and when he came home, he immediately noticed that something was wrong

When he found Sigma and Dazai in the living room like that, he felt his heart squeeze in his chest, quickly going to them, asking what happened, his voice thick with worry.

Sigma flinched upon hearing Chuuya’s voice, not having noticed that he came home and entered the living room already but relaxed quickly again.

Dazai just looked up to his partner with a small smile, greeting him and telling him that everything is alright again.

Sigma then looked up too, pointing at his throat and telling Chuuya that they’ve been talking about those.

Upon seeing the scars, Chuuya showed more openly his small shock and worry before sitting down next to his partners.

Sigma then proceeded to tell him everything he told Dazai too and while it was still hard for him to do so, it was much easier this time. He also apologized to him too but Chuuya told him the same as Dazai did.

He then thanked Sigma too for their trust and for telling him before pulling them in a hug.

Chuuya too had teary eyes after hearing what happened.

He not only told Sigma how much he loved him but he also mumbled that he will find the people who did this to him and that he will make them suffer just as much as they made him suffer.

Sigma looked at him a bit shocked but before he could say anything, Dazai pulled Chuuya back into a hug, telling him that he didn’t have to do that and Sigma quickly joined their hug, thanking Chuuya and telling him that he genuinely appreciated it but that he really didn’t needed to do it.

For the rest of the evening they sat curled up together on the couch, not watching TV but just enjoying being in each other’s presence and Chuuya told Sigma quietly how beautiful he looked, making Sigma blush before telling Chuuya that he looked even more beautiful.

Dazai then proceeded to whine, telling them that he felt left out, making them both laugh before kissing Dazai which made him blush in a dark shade of red as well as stop working for a second.

Ever since that day, Sigma would only cover his neck during work and when they would go out but not at their apartment anymore.

Only during bad days where he felt more insecure again or when he couldn’t stand seeing the scars since they would always remind him about what happened he would cover them up with something.

Dazai and Chuuya both told him that while his scars remind him of this awful time, they are also a reminder and a proof that he managed to escape and that he survived it, that it’s over now and that he’s safe now and it makes him feel a bit better.

Chuuya showed him his pencil scar the very same day where he told them about his scars, telling him the history behind it.

Sigma might have cried a bit again, making Chuuya feel bad which made Sigma feel bad so they ended up hugging each other.

When Sigma feels bad about his scars again, Dazai or Chuuya (depending on who’s with him) sometimes kiss the scars lightly

They also sometimes do it during more intimate times.

To this day, it always makes Sigma feel better, safe and loved.

During the first time when Chuuya unexpectedly kissed Sigma’s scars, Sigma teared up a bit but not out of sadness or any other negative emotion. Simply because he felt so loved.

The only other person who know about the scars and their history is Ranpo because Ranpo is Ranpo and after a year in the ADA, Atsushi and Yosano know about it too since Yosano saw them while she treated Sigma after a mission and Atsushi knows it since Sigma trusted him enough to tell him about it.

Only like 2 years later, he finally stopped covering his throat all the time, feeling more and more secure in his body and in the ADA.

Chuuya and Dazai still want to make the members of the organization suffer.

#Finally some real content again #I'm sorry for the long wait #Chuusigzai>>>#Sigma easily cries because I say so (I'm projecting)#Them #Chuuya was scared that he made Sigma feel bad when he teared up after Chuuya unexpectedly kissed his scars #Sigma just smiled and tried to wipe his tears away; trying to assure Chuuya that he didn't do anything wrong/didn't made him feel bad #but just gave up and pulled him into a kiss #I've listened to “Constellations” by “Duster” and other music with that vibe while writing this on loop #Sigma didn't deserve all that shit which happen to him. To think about all of this makes me so sad #bsd sigma #sigma bsd #bsd dazai #bsd osamu dazai #bsd osamu #bsd dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #bsd chuuya nakahara #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd #bungou gay dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungou sd #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bsd drabble #bsd headcanon #hurt/comfort #bungoustraydogs #bungostraydogs

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andthroughthewire · 2 years

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I might be wrong this is just me thinking aloud, but the hole in the “Chuck was right all along” line for me is it never seems like Chuck really knows what he wants? Beyond control? Like does he want Jimmy leashed outside or does he want him back in Cicero? Does he want Jimmy destroyed or does he want him as a mini Chuck? He’ll self sabotage with Rebecca, only seems to like Howard and Kim until they’re not useful to him, and he’ll have no clue why Ernie doesn’t trust him when he treats him like shit the whole time.

I don't know if you were part of the fandom during the first 2 and a half seasons of the show, anon, but back then "Chuck was right all along" was a fringe opinion. The vast majority of people really didn't like him (but while everyone rightfully praised Michael McKean's performance from the start, Anna Gunn got death threats).

It's like what happened with Howard, I don't remember people having an opinion of him beyond "he's a douchebag" but, as the writers made the viewers emphatize with him more and more (especially in season 6) a good portion of the audience seemed to lose all the good faith they had in Jimmy and Kim and never quite got it back, which I do find an interesting reaction to have considering we're in the same universe where Walter White did all that he did and still had people supporting him (Is Jimmy too much of a simp/not on the sigma grindset? Is Kim a woman and therefore unredeemable?).

Joking aside, I think that (for the most part, I know they have their fans out there) people's opinions of Chuck (and, to a lesser extent, Howard) have more to do with how they see Jimmy and Kim and if they think those two are deserving of redemption or acceptance or a way forward and it's part of why the ending is open-ended in my opinion. We get to decide what happens next.

Listen, I don't particularly like Chuck on a good day and he's the kind of person I wouldn't want to spend too much time with, but I try to go beyond that and I think it's a shame to flatten these very complex characters into right or wrong, good or bad, etc, but I also understand that not everyone is gonna sit down and talk about them for more than 5 minutes tops. It's like what Bob and Rhea and Patrick have said about the time they spent in the same house while shooting, most people wouldn't want to hear actors (or writers!) talk about their characters for hours on end. Hell, even others in the cast don't like this approach, apparently (I think Jonathan Banks has made a few jokes about this over the years).

So, ultimately, it all comes down to what you're willing to justify and in the case of Better Call Saul, I think it's easier to think that Chuck is justified in what he does because Jimmy eventually becomes the Saul we know from Breaking Bad, but... that's it? Better Call Saul is a prequel, no further questions? So we shouldn't talk about the fact that Chuck is convinced he has the moral high ground over... pretty much anyone? Or how he never gave his own brother the benefit of the doubt, not even after a whole decade spent in ABQ on 'good behavior'? So on and so forth. Chuck is as morally questionable as 99% of the rest of the cast, sweeping it all under the rug to make a point is not the way to go.

#why do i have to go on such long tangents i'm so sorry 😭#ask

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hookahmancer · 3 years

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Coldsteel: Hot and Cold Part 4

Eggman is rubbing his hands together chuckling "oh this plan is delicious! Why didn't I think of this before?!" Out of one of his robot's head Iike a toaster pops a sandwich toasted and Eggman grabs it scarfing on a pre grilled cheese.

"Excellent! Clearly a feat only my genius could implement! By the way, have you sent the texts to the hedgehogs?" "Yes your most evil..." "You better have!"

Each hedgehog received a text catered to them that happens at roughly the same time. Shadow receives one from supposedly Sonic.

"I have all the chaos emeralds and you do not. You suck as a character, Imma just stay in super mode and you'll be relegated to the tsundere useless character that... OH it is on in a matter similar to Donkey Kong you blue fucboi!"

Sonic reads his from Coldsteel

"I have captured Amy again and I demand a one on one battle for her love and affection. Come alone unless you're too scared."

Sonic just turns off his phone and goes back to sleep.

Amy reads hers from Sonic

"I take full responsibility for not showing you the appreciation and affection you deserve. Come meet me at..." Amy looks up "This is a trap. Like so obvious I'd have to be a real idiot to fall for." She reads the last line "also Shadow says your ass is huge."

"Shadow said what now?!" Amy grabs her hammer and heads out the door.

Coldsteel reads his from Amy

"I can no longer deny my feelings for you Coldsteel and was only pretending to be a femcel! I did not want the other girls to notice I was more attracted to your smart, charming, sigma male qualities over the blue Chad."

Coldsteel slaps his phone "bout damn time woman! I'll bring TWO vapes so we can make heart shapes together!"

The three show up at this empty looking factory and see each other. Amy squints angrily

"Coldsteel!" Coldsteel waves "hey bootylicious!" Shadow looks around "where's Sonic?" Amy takes out her hammer "that's what I would like to know" Coldsteel capes "who cares about that guy?! I..." A hologram appears of Eggman and the doors lock behind them.

"Hahaha I can't believe all of you showed...wait where's Sonic?"

Coldsteel vapes harder "I'm starting to take this person-el you all's obsession with that blue goon."

"No matter! You three and I are gonna play a little game..."

Shadow raises an eyebrow "So...like magic the gathering or..." The floor opens up beneath them and they fall into a pit on their asses.

"Ok so magic." "NO IT'S NOT MAGIC! Sigh... You are now trapped in my underground labyrinth. If you want to have any hope of escaping, you'll need to be intelligent, but also cooperative. Which I know none of you are! Behind every door could be a trap, or the way out. Though I assume your wills will break long before any of my devilish devices do you in mwahahahaha!"

Coldsteel goes to open the far left door. This little robot with a lightbulb on it's head glows when it talks and just says "PAIN"

Coldsteel says "is this one of the traps? Heh..." He kicks it and giant claws, scalpels, drills, and a flames shoot out of it from its sides "PAIN..."

Coldsteel screams as Shadow and Amy groan and with their combined might take down the pain bot. The light bulb begins to flicker

"ALL I KNOW IS PAIN..."

Coldsteel bends on one knee "it do be like that little guy...nothing person-el" shatters the light bulb with his vape.

Amy goes to hit Coldsteel with her hammer and just misses.

"You idiot! Egghead just said there were traps behind most doors! You didn't think to ask first before you just go opening doors and..." Shadow gets between them

"This is what Eggman wants. He wants us to lose our cool. If we're to get out of this mess alive we'll need to work together."

Coldsteel gets this goofy grin on his face and Amy has this annoyed look and just says "No..." "What?! I didn't even say anything!"

"You don't have too. I know what you're thinking and no. This is NOT going to bring us closer together as a couple." "So you're saying we're A couple..."

Amy chases Coldsteel with her hammer into the room he opened up and Shadow patiently walks behind them muttering "this is gonna be a long one..."

When they actually enter the room Amy is still trying to bludgeon Coldsteel and Shadow actually examines it and says "shut up you two... Look at this." He points to a pillar with a red button that says do not press and there's also a door in the far corner.

Amy says "ok so it says don't press the red button, so we don't press it..."

Coldsteel sneers "do you do everything mommy and daddy tell you to do? Why aren't you that compliant with me?" "I WILL END YOU"

Shadow puts his hand to his face "this is the mind game idiots! We have to think like Eggman! It is a totally obvious trap to press the red button, but the fact that we know it's obvious means he might make it an immediate way out, but he knows we'd know it's obvious and think that, so might make it a trap anyway. Also knowing the impulsive sort LIKE YOU COLDSTEEL he'd lay this obvious trap here, ignoring the inconspicuous door in the corner."

Coldsteel pauses for a moment... "So does Eggbutt want me to press the button or not? Cause I don't do what anybody tells me." Shadow sternly says "We're not pressing the button"

Shadow goes up to the door and notices the knob is glossy and covered in spikes.

"oh great..." Coldsteel says "what? You afraid of a little prick Shadow? Just turn it slowly..." Shadow says don't but Coldsteel grabs the knob and opens it without a problem "what?" Amy and Shadow just look at him and Shadow says "that knob was clearly covered in some sorta poison..."

"Do you guys have any idea how much I smoke? My immune system is impenetrable! You guys should smoke more. Everyone should smoke more...even kids. Especially kids."

Shadow groans "I'm glad Sonic wasn't here to hear that one..."

As they walk in there is three more pathways. Amy says "ok before you do something stupid Coldsteel, lets think about this..." Coldsteel makes a nasally high pitch voice to imitate Amy and she hits him with the hammer which he dodges, but the impact causes the unstable ceiling to start coming down. Shadow glares at Amy who just laughs nervously and Shadow runs to the closest door to his right. Shadow and Amy follow suit and see a giant spacious room with marvelous tile flooring of all the letters in the alphabet, pretty Eggman fountains, etc. Shadow mutters "we must be getting close..."

Suddenly a rope floats down and wraps around Amy's neck raising her up and choking her. As she tries to pry it and is dangling Coldsteel seems concerned and Amy says she can feel the rope tightening.

Shadow tells Coldsteel to wait "this is clearly a puzzle Coldsteel! Why would these tiles have letters for no reason? Why would the trap only apply to one of us when Eggman could've just hanged all of us? It's like the old children's game hangman! I think Robotcuck wants us to spell out Amy's name."

Amy screams "that simp doesn't even know my name! I'm as good as dead just go on without me..." Shadow steps back on the letter A and the rope loosens a little. "Coldsteel go to the M and only the M. Don't step on any other letters" he does so and it loosens a little more. "Can you pull yourself out now Amy?" "You think if I could I'd be relying on you two jabronis?! And there's no-one left to step on Y. How ironic as Y did I agree to do this? Y does this shit always happen to me? Y..."

Coldsteel pulls his second vape out of his pocket and kisses it. Sliding it toward the letter Y and hoping it lands there. It does and the rope completely unravels. Amy falls on her tushy again and Shadow says "good thing your ass is as big as your mouth"

"YOU KNOW Eggman never said all of us had to survive this Shadow..."

Coldsteel goes to pick up that vape which is a hot pink clearly meant for Amy. It has written on it in stained blood "Sonic Sux" and before he can pick it up she snatches it.

"Whatcha doing there Rabbi? Isn't this MY vape?" Coldsteel smiles "yeah...yeah it is"

Shadow walks right pass them and says "ok...we got two doors left. Which do we choose?"

Amy scratches her head "is Eggman a left or right handed guy?" Shadow strokes his chin "maybe there's some sorta pun that we missed..."

Coldsteel snaps his fingers "I got an idea. Me and Amy will go to the one on the left, Shadow you go to the right." Amy blushes "he finally remembered!" Shadow gets this disgusted look on his face but answers Coldsteel "you never split the party Coldsteel..."

"I don't give a damn about the party. The way I see it, if I'm wrong, me and Amy die together. If I'm right, you die and nobody cares. Fuck you."

Shadow thinks back to when Eggman said they'd have to be intelligent and cooperate to get out of here. And he says "fine... But how about I go left and you two go right?" "WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?!" Amy holds Coldsteel's hand.

"Comeon Coldsteel, just let Shadow have this small victory..."

"...Fine!" They each go to their respective doors and nod. They open them at the same time and find they enter the same dimly lit room with a floor that ascends back up to the factory.

The hologram from Eggman comes back on "I can't believe you three actually were able to get through my horrific dungeon! If that damn blue hedgehog would've shown this might've gone completely differently! ROBOT! MAKE ME ANOTHER GRILLED CHEESE! AND PRESLICE SOME TOMATOES ON IT THIS TIME. WHAT WERW YOU BUILT IN A BARN?!" "Yes lord Eggman..."

Shadow grunts "my whole day wasted..." While Coldsteel and Amy walk out together holding each other and Coldsteel turns his head to the hologram kicking around his toaster robot scarfing two grilled cheeses at the same time and winks at it and the Eggman hologram winks back.

#sonic memes #sonic fanfiction

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