#She's going to be 12 this year btw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewirewitch · 21 days

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One of those days where I'm just kinda done with my family owning a dog. She makes me tired in an emotional way and I know she doesn't mean to, it's just kinda frustrating...

(rant under the cut. Tw for animal death)

I've had a fear of dogs since I was really young, probably around 4-5 years old, since I went to a relative's house and her dog (who was fully grown, but she said he was a "puppy") jumped up on me and scratched my face (my mom said I was also knocked over, but I don't remember the moment of impact, just him running at me and the aftermath). I used to love dogs before that.

Years later, when I was around 9, my mom decided to get a dog. A miniature shar-pei, to be specific. Neither she nor my dad did any research on them before they bought one (current dog, her name's Winks). They didn't know they are usually aggressive and protective.

I tried to get over my fear of dogs when we got her. At first I was scared, but later on I tried petting her multiple times, but she'd always nip at me.

Then as she got older, and the years went on, she would still try to bite me for certain things. If I handed something to a parent, or they handed something to me, she'd always try to bite my arm. So I stopped directly handing things to my parents, or receiving things from them unless I knew she couldn't get to me.

One ordinary day I had gone downstairs and she went over to me and bit my foot. I locked myself in the bathroom, which was right next to the stairs. She had drawn some blood. I stayed in there for a while.

Another time, it was late at night and my mom was on the couch. I went over to sit beside her, but Winks jumped up on the couch before I could sit down and she bit my thigh. It hurt and bled for several days after that. Not a lot of blood, though. She also used to get kind of alert when I'd go over to my parents before that. I don't stand very close to them when they're seated anymore, even if they want to show me something on a computer.

A few years ago Winks began to follow me really close and growl/squeak if I went upstairs later in the day. I found out she wouldn't do that much if I was carrying something (like a large cup of water, a plate/bowl of food, laundry basket, etc.) so whenever I go downstairs, I always bring something up with me.

More recently I had started to wear shorts. One night when I was going to head upstairs, Winks silently went over to me, even when I wasn't close to either parents, and bit my ankle. Thankfully she didn't bite very hard, but my mom yelled at her when she did, so, she might have bit harder if my mom didn't notice. I don't wear shorts after 6pm downstairs anymore. I always put on a pair of long pants if I "need" too.

Despite all this, despite her singling me out to be super vigilant about, she also paces around downstairs some nights and squeaks because she wants me to go downstairs. Despite the fact my brother had gone on multiple day-long trips away from home, the one time I went on a 4-day school trip to DC she didn't eat anything, and now usually only eats at night when I'm around (which is why she squeaks). I don't get it. If I leave to go with a friend, she squeaks like she would if one of my parents left, but she doesn't react at all if my brother leaves the house.

What got me to type all this is because today she ended up finding a nest of baby bunnies under our back porch. Even though my dad put a fence up around the gaps under the porch, she still went under there and ate as many of them as she could. And it upsets me.

But I can't be mad at her for it. Because that's just her nature. I can't be mad at her about anything she did to me or to anyone or anything else because that's just what her nature is. I haven't even brought up a lot of the stuff she's done that has made me feel some negative way, just the major ones I remember right now.

But I am mad. I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at my parents.

I could say it was my fault she got those bunnies because I didn't put the bamboo stake in the right place when I looked at the fence. I could say it's my dad's fault for not putting the fence up in an effective way to begin with. I could say it's Winks's fault, but it's just her nature.

Or I could say...it's both my parents' fault for even getting a dog to begin with. Their kid, their little girl, me, who was, and still is, terrified of dogs, pleading with them not to get one. I told them not to do it. They knew I was scared of dogs. But they didn't listen. And neither of them did research on shar-pei temperament. And now look what we're strapped with.

I used to wear shoes all the time since I didn't want Winks to hurt my feet in some way. I don't hug my parents as much as I used to because I'm scared Winks will come after me if I did. My family can't go on day-long trips because Winks stresses out when we're not home. We once came home to our front doorframe all chewed-up on one side. We can't visit family members without bringing her with us. She's chewed up the doorframe of one of my uncles' guest room door because she was left in there alone. My uncles don't want us bringing her over because she's not socialized. So we don't visit out extended family much anymore unless one of us stays behind (usually me and my brother). One of our neighbors has to make sure their kids don't get close to our fence or else Winks would bark at them and scare them. My mom had to put a tarp around our fence so Winks can't bite any hands that may slip between the boards. My parents and brother have had to throw multiple dead animals out of our backyard because Winks would hunt them. My dad once had to beat a small racoon with a wooden board because Winks had picked a fight with it. We can't leave our trashcans on the floor or leave me and my brother's bathroom door open without something in front of it because she's eat out of the trashcans and she'd lick things in the bathroom she really shouldn't. I've had an argument with my brother over this.

I'm just tired, man. And I know whenever Winks passes, I'll be sad. Despite EVEREYTHING, I'm going to be sad. Whether it be because my parents will be sad, or guilt that I didn't try harder to bond with her, I know I'm going to cry. There have been a few times where I thought she was dead and it made me feel dread. Despite it all I still have some semblance of care for her. So even when she does pass, there won't be a sense of relief. I won't be able to go "it's over" and just move on.

I still talk to her. I still give her ice cubes and let her outside if she wants to go out. I still care about her, and sometimes I wish I didn't, and sometimes I wish I cared more.

And all this just makes me feel emotionally exhausted.

If I could go back in time at points throughout my life and change things, one of the things I would do is make sure my parents didn't get her. I'd tell them all the trouble we'd go through, and that they should get any other kind of dog than a shar-pei. Tell my mom that the cuteness isn't worth it, and to find another kind of dog she thinks is cute, and that's actually sociable. Maybe we could have gone on more trips. Maybe our family could be a little closer. Maybe my anxiety towards animals wouldn't be so bad.

But that's not what happened. And now my parents learned from their mistake, and brought the rest of us with them.

#my stuff #rambling #She's going to be 12 this year btw #Over half my life now we've had her

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yourfavoritehouseplant · 5 months

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I watched James Somerton's final video, and all I got was this 6 page document

As soon as I learned his final unreleased video was on Revolutionary Girl Utena, I knew I had to hate watch it. I didn't know that I'd spend the following 4 hours making a comprehensive doc on everything I hated about it. But here we are.

The TLDR (is this too long to be a TLDR?)

The intro section, as well as Part 2, are directly plagiarized from wikipedia. The rest is unclear.

He makes a “haha this show is so weird right guys” joke 10 different times

He reads Anthy as so emotionally stunted she literally has to be taught how to think for herself, and believes that being the rose bride makes her feel good

He says that his reading is ‘vastly different” from the rest of the community, before boldly stating that this is because he sees it as a “deeply allegorical and symbolic story”

He sees the sexual abuse as “not to be taken literally”

Insists that the show be separated into parts that are strictly literal and strictly allegorical for the entirety of parts 3 and 4, before making the contradictory move of analyzing characters as allegories during part 5

The only characters that get dedicated sections are Akio and Dios, who he doesn’t believe are the same person.

He says Dios gets his powers by “deflowering women”

He calls Akio, known child predator, a chaotic bisexual

Uses 14 year old SA survivor Anthy’s passive personality to make a joke about her being a bottom

His final point is that Utena was the real prince all along

There are no citations

Anyway, full version for people who hate themselves under the cut. With time codes, because I cite my sources.

Part 1: Intro

This entire section is almost exclusively quoted from the Wikipedia article for Revolutionary Girl Utena. Words have been changed, but the order at which certain topics come up is not. Highlights include:

0:56 In his introduction of Be-Papas, lists the founding members in literally the exact same order as Wikipedia.

1:40-2:00 His list of Be-Papas previous works is lifted entirely from wikipedia, only with the words changed. This leads to a strange moment at 1:52 where he claims Be-papas ‘lent their talents to’ Neon Genesis Evangelion, a show which started production at least a year before Be-papas was founded. On the wikipedia article for Utena, this is instead referring to the previous work of Shinya Hasegawa and Yōji Enokido

4:23 he uses a quote by Yūichirō Oguro describing the production as a “tug of war”. He seems to have lifted this in its entirety from Wikipedia, as he does not cite the actual source it is from (the box set companion book, btw)

As for James Somerton originals, at 0:44 he claims that out of all magical girl series,”none to my knowledge have been more discussed and dissected than the 1997 series Revolutionary Girl Utena” He will go back on this at 5:05, where he states that “Sailor Moon takes the lion’s share of discussion” in regard to influential magical girl anime

Part 2: Part 1

(At least I know I’m not funny, unlike James Somerton)

Speaking of which. Here is every single time he makes a “wow this show is sooooo weird you guys” joke: 6:00, 8:50, 10:40, 10:58, 13:46, 17:07, 24:16, 30:34, 41:19, 48:01

Here’s every time the punchline to the joke is the existence of Nanami, a character who he otherwise completely disregards: 10:56, 12:05, 16:22, 42:40

6:16 Claims that the “Apocalypse saga” and “Akio Ohtori saga’ are two names for the same several episodes, depending on the release. This is untrue. Instead, different releases either only have the Apocalypse saga, or split the episodes into an Akio Ohtori saga and then the Apocalypse saga.

7:58 Claims Utena intervening on Anthy’s behalf begins the first duel. While this happens in the movie, Touga intervenes in the scene he uses clips from (like literally right after the shot he uses in the video). Utena only gets drawn into the duels when Wakaba’s love note to Saionji is posted. Youtuber Noralities’ Utena video also gets this wrong, which makes me wonder if this was copied.

9:09 Claims Akio’s “End of the World” moniker is actually more closely translated to “Apocalypse”. In reality, the translation moves away from a more apocalyptic reading, with 世界の果て (Sekai no hate) apparently translating closer to “the furthest reach of a known world” or “edge of the world”. (Love the implications of this translation, but I digress)

9:10 As can be assumed from the previous point, this means I can’t find any sources that point to them not using the title “apocalypse” for religious reasons

10:10 Uses Anthy’s extreme passivity under her Rose bride persona to make a top/bottom joke. I’m gonna repeat this in case you’re just skimming. He uses a trait that likely stems from years of abuse, (possibly exaggerated by the persona Anthy uses to manipulate people), and uses it to call her a bottom.

He also just doesn’t seem to understand how the whole point of Utena constantly telling Anthy that she's just a normal girl who should make more friends is framed as Utena imposing her will on Anthy, just as much as the previous Engaged have done.

11:54 Apologies in advance for my most “um, actually!” point yet, but technically his statement that Anthy stops being host to the Sword of Dios is wrong. Akio literally pulls a sword out of her chest in the final duel. It's a more evil-looking sword of Dios, granted.

13:02 !!! CANTARELLA SCENE ALERT !!! He interprets it as them fighting over Akio?? Which like. I will allow people to have their own interpretations of vague and symbolic scenes. I will. I swear. This is not technically incorrect. It just makes me want to eat my own intestines.

14:44 Bad Anthy take #1: He states Anthy “is emotionally stunted to the point where she needs people to make decisions for her because she does not know how to think for herself” This ignores several moments of Anthy clearly making her own choices throughout the show, including the suicide attempt Somerton mentions about a minute prior. This also strips Anthy of what little agency she has throughout the story, usually exerted through messing with Utena or Nanami. (The fact that she repeatedly makes choices that contribute to her own abuse is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting parts of her character, and it's a shame that Summerton’s ‘reading’ of the story completely disregards that)

Additionally, he once again reads Utena ‘urging Anthy to think for herself” in the first arc as an unambiguously good move, and not as something critiqued in the show.

14:52 Summerton reads the Swords of hatred as symbolizing men’s hatred specifically. Again, I’m trying not to completely disregard differing interpretations to a show like Utena, but this feels very simplistic, especially considering the harm we see aimed towards Anthy by other women

16:42 Here he claims that his reading of the story seems to be “vastly different” from the bulk of Utena discourse. What is this reading? That the show shouldn’t be read literally. Or, in his words, “[we can interpret] Revolutionary Girl Utena as a deeply allegorical and symbolic story about the struggles of coming of age amidst widespread institutional corruption in a high school and which describes a passive culture of inaction in regard to brazen instances of domestic exploitation in which there is not only a question about the caporeality of the events transpiring but also which events can be taken for granted and which events are meant to signify abstract sociological institutions.” The idea that he believes this is in any way a new reading of the material honestly baffles me.

Part 3: Part 2

17:48 through 18:50 differently quotes the Wikipedia article for postmodernism. He even makes a joke at 17:55 about Wikipedia. Please kill me.

The first three themes he lists at 19:11 are just the three main themes listed on the Revolutionary Girl Utena Wikipedia page. What was that about a “vastly different” reading, James?

You’re gonna have to take my word for it, but this section is so short because it's just him talking about the various ways the story can’t be taken literally. He does, ironically, call this a hot take.

Part 4: Part 3

Here’s where the reading falls apart folks

At 23:15, he states that some things in Utena are allegorically coded, while others are to be taken literally. This is true. However, he seems to take this to mean that some parts of the show are Strictly Literal, while others are Strictly Allegorical for things going on in the Literal World.

This is apparently why he prefers the Anime to the Movie, where there basically is no separation between the Literal and Allegorical

This take is bizarre to me for several reasons, but here is my favorite. At several points, he mentions how Revolutionary Girl Utena is a work of Magical Realism. Magical Realism is literally defined by its blending of the “literal” and “allegorical”, the mix of fantastical elements in a mundane, realistic setting. This idea of the impossibility of a blurred line, that Utena must either have lore where the magic is all real and means nothing, or dedicated allegory segments quarantined from the rest of the story, is contrary to the very idea of Magical Realism.

I can’t help but wonder if Somerton took his mentions of Magical realism from a previous work, due to how little it is consistent with his final argument. Either way, this section suggests a great lack of creativity in his analysis, a shame for such a creative work.

24:36: Shiori slander, for those who care

After this he gets really worked up about people assuming symbolism in everything, even when the author ‘doesn’t make it clear something is symbolic’. He shuts down a reading of a shot in the Lord of the Rings. Miley Cyrus is there? Very The Curtains Were Blue of him.

28:22 Claims that Wakaba is the key to telling where the Strictly Literal segments end and the Strictly Allegorical segments begin. He states that, under this lens, deeply personal moments of character suffering such as all of the sexual abuse and Anthy’s suicide attempt (which he literally cites) should be read as symbolic and be “approached with uncertainty rather than confusion”. (28:24-29:13)

This also somewhat falls apart when you consider Wakaba is the jeep in the movie's car chase

And then he rants about people not liking his Attack on Titan video for a bit. Since its potential symbolism also doesn't follow hard enough rules to be symbolism. Once again, the separation of “fact vs allegory” I haven’t watched AOT, so that's all I’ll say.

Part 5: Part 4

Thank god this part is short. Much like Dios’ on-screen presence.

32:55 Makes the extremely bold claim that Dios is not Akio. As in, never even became Akio. because Dios is Strictly Allegorical.

Just to be a pedant, this is pretty explicitly disproven in the show

Confusingly, both earlier and later he will address these two as the same character.

33:04 he also explains the root of Akio’s name in a tone that suggests this is supplemental information and not like. Literally something he explains out loud in the show?

Part 6: Part 5

This section is nearly entirely about Akio Ohtori. I would like to note that him and Dios are the only characters with dedicated segments.

38:30 The part where he states that Dios gets his powers from deflowering women.

38:46 Claims, once again, that Akio’s abuse of Anthy “may not be literal”.

38:59 “the instance of exploitation here is used because assault has deep roots as indicating that akio's gender is the source of his imbalance” THE ASSAULT IS ABOUT AKIO NOW???

39:45 Bad Anthy take #2: “Anthy’s conformity to the Rose bride is based around the fact that she feels good being subservient because this is the only thing in her life that has ever brought her any kind of positive reward”. This is a direct quote. Anyway, I can’t think of any instances in the show where Anthy’s subservience gives her a positive reward, except maybe when she’s intentionally using it to manipulate others. As for her feeling good being the rose bride. She tries to commit suicide. Dude.

Side tangent, but isn’t this exactly what Akio says during the final 2 episodes? That Anthy enjoys being a witch? Is the main villain, who consistently says things during that very episode that are blatantly false, our source of information for this take? I guess so, since this is the dedicated Akio section.

At 40:20 he decides to introduce the concept of Anthy, Akio, and Utena as stand-ins for wider concepts, which is antithetical to his approach in analysis beforehand

Part 7: Part 6

42:40 he finally acknowledges that he’s been spending too much time talking about Akio, and literally no time on characters like Nanami

46:10 states that Utena’s exclusive motivation “is to protect Anthy from the predatorial intentions of the other dualists”, which disregards the fact, which she states herself, that she was largely participating in the duels and protecting Anthy to feel like a prince

48:04 The part where he says that Akio has ‘chaotic Bi vibes’ in regards to him sleeping with Touga, who is 17 and implied to be a long-term victim

Part 8: Part 7

54:01: His concluding point is that Utena was the real prince all along.

In true Somerton fashion, the video then ends over a scrolling wall of patrons, with not a single citation in sight.

#the autism won again you guys #revolutionary girl utena #james somerton #shoujo kakumei utena #utena #anthy #hbomberguy

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