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lambergeier · 4 years

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bro i just reread the lesbian odyssey (wow. wow. the flavour) and you say in your authors note that you’d love to talk about all the references you stuffed in. WELL IM ASKING IF YOU’RE UP TO IT. (i love you. have a great day.)

i love you too, anon!! and after many years, i guess i’ll finally sit down and list out all these fucking odyssey references!!! haikyuu is over, i love oikawa so so much, the time has come. here’s the fic link, for those who would like to read along.

so, the basic structure of this fic is:

prologue

arriving at the party

ushijima

the karasuno kids

call your mom

bokuto and kuroo

GET THE GIRL

epilogue

and with the exception of the prologue and the epilogue, which are not part of the pastiche, this maps onto the odyssey like:

arrive at the party -> athena and the lotus eaters

ushijima -> the cyclops

the karasuno kids -> circe’s island

call your mom -> the underworld

bokuto and kuroo -> scylla and charybdis

GET THE GIRL -> getting the girl! (odysseus reuniting with penelope)

which may be enough for everyone to catch all the references lol, they drop off pretty precipitously once iwaizumi gets down to the basement and i had to stop telling quite as many jokes and actually resolve some emotional shit? but i’ll put all the actual in-line jokes below the cut, this will take forever, congrats to every who reads this! some of these will be more obvious than others, apologies:

Scene In Which They Arrive At The Party

Akaashi’s parents have an olive tree out front and also her parents are vacationing in Greece, these are gimmes lol.

“Well, Takahiro’s gone to find Terushima and Terushima’s weed,” she says, with a clear tone of I know where mine is.

“We have to find them,” Iwaizumi says.

“Yeah, we don’t have to do jack shit,” Matsukawa replies, with a one-armed shrug. “Terushima’s got that new lotus-flavored stuff, I’m outtie in like thirty seconds here.”

Terushima and the weed are lotus eaters! The weed also returns later as a the siren stand-in, because I enjoy weed jokes. Someone in the comments once tried to politely point out that the amount of weed I included in this fic is perhaps not SO accurate to Japanese culture and weed’s standing within it, but, consider: I did things in this fic ONLY because they were funny.

“So you’re not going to help at all?” Iwaizumi demands, casting a hand at the house behind them. The music is pounding, the feet of fifty-plus athletes and their friends and their dates making the walls rattle and the floors bounce. Iwaizumi could spend twenty years looking for Oikawa in all this and never find her.

“This one’s your odyssey, girlfriend,” Matsukawa says, finally putting a hand to Iwaizumi’s shoulder. She looks weirdly solemn, and it makes Iwaizumi pause.

“What the fuck?”

“It’s all you tonight, o great tactician,” says Matsukawa. She’s staring at Iwaizumi, intent and grey-eyed. “Learn the minds of distant men. Weather the bitter night. Bring your shipmate home.”

‘Twenty years looking for Oikawa’ in the first paragraph is ofc a reference to odysseus’ twenty years at sea. Matsukawa’s prophetic lines at the end are pulled from the opening of Fitzgerald’s translation. Namely:

Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story [...]

and learned the minds of many distant men, and weathered many bitter nights and days in his deep heart at sea, while he fought only to save his life, to bring his shipmates home.

‘O great tactician’ obvs not in the opening lines, but a common epithet for odysseus. similarly, Matsukawa’s description of ‘grey-eyed’ is one of the most common epithets for Athena, who mattsun is standing in for here! say some cryptic bullshit, condemn your best mortal friend to the WORST roadtrip of all time.

Scene In Which There Is A Cyclops

Okay so Ushijima is pretty obviously the Cyclops. Everyone got that one. Other shit:

Every reference to rocks, tides, oceans, rocks: did you know the Odyssey is about boats?

The blue lipstick is Tendou’s. This doesn’t have anything to do with the Odyssey, but it is important that the people know.

“You think I’m nobody” and Ushijima forgetting Iwaizumi’s given name are references to Nobody, the name Odysseus gives to Polyphemus

The “doe-eyed girls in woolly sweaters” are Polyphemus’ sheep

Scene In Which The Karasuno Girls Show Up

Speaking very very generally here, Suga is Circe, the kitchen is Circe’s island, and the other Karasuno girls were supposed to be Circe’s spelled animals, but I did not go very hard on that comparison at all. On the whole, Iwaizumi is tempted to stay both with the Karasuno girls, who she likes, and with Suga, who is SMOKING HOT, but leaves to pursue her true love/wife, Oikawa. Specific stuff:

Suga spiking the wine coolers is a) a joke about Suga being an absolute force of chaos and b) a joke about Circe’s magic spells

“Okay,” Iwaizumi says, and then, when she is not immediately turned into a pig or some shit, tries taking it a step further: “Okay, I’m, uh, gonna go.... Oikawa.” --> more Circe’s island jokes

Once Suga REALLY takes up the Circe role and finds Iwaizumi on the dance floor, I start using a lot more of Circe’s epithets and descriptors for her: grey-eyed (like Athena!), rosy-cheeked, braids in her hair, etc.

Scene In Which Iwaizumi Calls Her Mom In A Basement

in book 11 of the odyssey, odysseus goes to the underworld and, among some other shit, talks to his dead mom. that’s all I’ve got.

oh no wait, also tsukishima and the weed are the sirens. everyone probably also picked up on this one.

Scene What With Bokuto And Kuroo

i was losing steam on the references by this point in the fic much like i am losing steam by this point in the POST!!! bokuto+akaashi are scylla, kuroo is charybdis. iwaizumi must pass between them. i can’t believe people let me publish this. mattsukawa returns as athena, except she is completely full of shit. also like athena. did i put a reference to oikawa’s suitors somewhere in this fic? i definitely did. idk where that happened.

Scenes In Which We Get The Girl

references were very limited here, because the pastiche had basically run its course! but the first ship i ever drew fanart for in my entire like was odysseus and penelope, on the back of my binders in 10th grade, so ya girl still had to slip some shit in there.

The night doesn’t last forever. Though Iwaizumi was kinda hoping it would, in the end.

when odysseus and penelope reunited, you may recall, athena delayed the dawn so that the couple might have as long as they need to sleep and fuck and catch each other up on the past twenty years while crying! shit was gay as hell!

“This is a pretty sturdy bed,” Oikawa says, into her ear. This is the hottest thing that’s ever happened to Iwaizumi. “Think we can make it rock?”

odysseus’ bed: attached to an actual living tree, famously hard to rock. akaashi’s parents’ bed: about to rock.

OKAY AND THAT’S IT!! WE’RE DONE!!! I THINK I GOT THEM ALL!!! DAMN THESE BITCHES IN LOVE!!! AND SO ARE ODYSSEUS AND PENELOPE!!!!!

#Anonymous #haikyuu!!#oh little mermaid #fic tag

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leaf-writes · 6 years

Text

Inside Eoberona

An Adventure in Blogging

Rating: G

Word Count: 1524

Summary: Fourteen-year-old Meli Malviya gets inspired to start blogging

Trigger Warnings: very slight reference to abuse

Authors Note: I would just like to say that I have had this universe since 2014 and I am finally sharing it with the world! This is taking place in a fantasy/utopia/futuristic magic world thing so somethings might be a little different (i.e. social media/networks)

An Adventure in Blogging

Meli Malviya

8/4/PW14

As the first term closes, students tend to rush to get the social media handles of their new friends if they have yet done so, as an attempt to keep up to date with one’s latest selfie or holiday overseas. The act of online stalking is not isolated to these adolescent individuals; plenty of adults partake in this strange and slightly intrusive practice. For that reason, I, Meli Malviya, have been requested by the masses to create a blog in which can be used to stalk and intrude into the lives of your heroes and government officials. The excitement of being potentially disowned and left to die delights me very much so. This —as one might insist of calling it— blog will consist of weekly posts and myself not talking like this at all, holy hell.

2/4/PW14

Two days before school ends in the Malviya household is slightly crazy. As many know, my mother and I live right above my mother’s store, Satya’s Boutique. Around this time of year, we have many people come to get last minute altercations on some weird end of term party, to purchase some clothes for a holiday to who knows where along with regular shoppers. Luckily my mum is stinking rich and brought the biggest store she could find. As well as a whole mess, my dear friend Edvard Garcia turned 30 today. He’s freaking old. For those of you who do not know this guy, let me give y’all a mini, mini, mini-biography.

Eddy boi is a Swedish mess who at the age of 16 was forced to drown his sister, Aurora Hansdotter (Y'all know her right? She’s bloody amazing) for some BS reason. No one knew that he had taken special precautions to save her life which comes into play two years later when he came here. What apparently happened was that his insane mother found out and tried to kill him too. She is insane I know, I guess that this is what happens when your husband died of smallpox when you had a two and four-year-old to look after in 17th century Sweden. For little under a year, everyone absolutely hated him, and that’s an understatement. Everyone except Eliza and Warda was giving him the silent treatment. This poor boy couldn’t even speak English, he had to have a translator hired because Aurora didn’t want to help him.

Anyway, some dude named Charon Garcia heard some other dude crying. Being the blind dude he is, Charon went over to them with his adorable guide dog, Cerberus, and basically was like, “You Gucci mate?” Except he didn’t say that exactly. Since he’s so blind that even bats are shook, he did not know that this was eddy the shreddy. If he had this prior knowledge, he would not have approached him. After some conversation, explaining, more explaining to everyone this time, and the rest of the school year, Charon finally managed to propose to Edvard at the ripe old age of eighteen. They got married two years later and then four years went by the had a girl called angel and two years later they had another girl called Thalia.

So, all last week my mum and I had been trying to find something totally amazing for Ed. I suggested some unsavory things and my mum hit me on the head. We eventually agreed on this rare Swedish book that he liked so much that somehow managed to come in time. But this wasn’t the only Swedish surprise.

After school, we were gonna have this party thing at Aurora and Maeraka (genie of battle)’s house. So, at the end of the day, I rounded up Angel, Thalia, Filip, and Ana (Aurora and Maeraka’s kids) and caught the train to the house. When we got there everyone else (all the Garcia’s, the Baatjies, the royal family, Rachel Wilder and Giselle Blanchard) were there. The kids and I got changed out of our uniforms into more casual clothes and when we came back, Aurora left to go get something with Rose.

They came back sometime later and holy macaroni, what they came back with left me shooketh. So turns out that somehow Rose was able to resurrect bloody Hans Noahsson. His faTHER I SWEAR TO GOD WHY CAN’T SHE DO THAT FOR ME HOLY CHICKEN FINGERS.

As unreal as the scenario was, who of us really surprised? He can only speak Swedish so that should be fun, but he’s going to stay with Aurora and Maeraka because their house is huge, and Edvard’s is smaller than my will to live.

There were too many tears and Hans is so sweet even if I couldn’t understand a word he said.

3/4/PW14

This was the unofficial last day of school, and by that, I mean last day of classes. So many of you were asking me about the blog but this is a weekly thing, guys! And its more of a weekly diary I guess.

Anyway, the only thing that happened today was Hans, Rory (Aurora), Filip and Ana coming to mum’s boutique and getting old Hans some clothing that isn’t waistcoats and clogs (having the latter kill my mother every time she needs to make some for either Eddy or Rory because they need some traditional Swedish outfits).

Fun Fact: my mum speaks Swedish. I never knew that, but if you want to speak Swedish to Satya Malviya, don’t tell her I told you.

4/4/PW14

Wowzers. That’s an awful lot of fours.

Children and teens alike were jumping for joy for the last day of school. Assemblies were held, people were bored, lockers were emptied, and Señora Octavia Garcia silently cried as she still had to spend time with her least favourite student (me), even though holidays were here. There’s no escape.

After school, Octavia decided to take me, Filip, Ana, Angel, Thalia, Roxane + Laurent (Giselle’s kiddos), Hasna (Daughter of Fan, genie of the arts, and Fawdaa, genie of chaos) and Katherine to this pancake place (which you would see if you followed me on Echo’d you would already know this…) and it was actually pretty good.

One last thing: Rory and King Sandu were having a handstand contest when I came to the castle today,,,, I don’t know why,,,

5/4/PW14

With the first day of holidays came everybody’s least favourite celebration, my birthday! I know nobody actually cares, but hear me out because this is an experience.

So, most of my friends are adults or midgets. Only like 3% of my friends are actually my age. Because of this, I do two things. One, I have a party (bowling or whatever) with my school friends, and then I hang out at the castle filming Jadine Baatjies try to summon spirits drunk.

So here I am, in the rec room at the castle, same stuff as usual; Giselle is drinking wine straight from the bottle and staying completely sober, Lizzy and Dontae are doing paperwork, Rachel and Lola are trying to re-enact The Greatest Showman, Warda is trying to bring Sandu up to date with everything that he has missed (because he was kidnapped for like 27 years, remember?), Edvard and Aurora are trying to teach Hans English and the kids are being weird.

Anyway, so I look over the room and Jadine is having a drinking contest with the Garcia twins and I’m confused? Because at the same time Jadine, Rose, and Octavia are trying to compete with statistics about how many dead people they have been able to “rise” and my mum is trying to keep the kids away from sharp objects and this is the funniest thing I have ever seen.

6/4/PW14

Jadine kept messaging me about her hangover and Edvard just sent over a group chat that Charon in just lying head down in bed and apparently when Lizzy was trying to wake up Scylla she was in a similar position,,,

7/4/PW14

I went over to Rory’s place for practice and if any of you guys swim then you’d know about the appetite that you build up afterwards is very large, of which mine was when I went inside after what felt like a million years of singing and swimming. To my delight and surprise, one Hans Noahsson had cooked a traditional Swedish meal (I forgot what it’s called) and it was really hecking good so that’s how my day went.

8/4/PW14

Today was the music festival so that means me being forced to sing for like 10 hours around the entire. bloody. Country. So, I hoped y’all enjoyed that and on behalf of the Sirens of Eoberona and The Amjir Committee of Music, I would like to thank everybody for participating and that the money raised from various performances will be going towards helping rebuild Amjir’s temple after the incident.

As I write this entire blog entry at 9:48pm, I would like to hope that everyone enjoys this, and this is what everyone meant. Next week will be something unexpected and I am very excited and y’all will be getting more than what you bargained for!

~Meli Malviya

#leaf’s writing #Inside Eoberona #do not repost #I want to turn this into like a reader interactive thing #like yall can ask questions that can be answered in a special editon #and you can make headcanons #and i can tell you if its real or not #writers on tumblr #my writing #first person #fictional blog #fantasy #fiction #findthewriters #slight mention of abuse

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