#Really honestly I kinda just want to finish my longfic because right now that's the Cyberpunk thing I really care the most about
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#Think I'm reaching the point where the CP//2077 fandom has kinda stopped being fun#Took a damn long while but I'm honestly surprised it didn't happen earlier#It's nothing person related I'm just kinda burnt out from constantly posting it#I might throw my sideblog in a hiatus soon...probably not a permanent one though...and just spend a little time focusing on JUST my writng#bc honestly I enjoy the writers I've met in the fandom#But yeah I'm pretty tired atm...I just wanna take a step back from shitposting and chill lol#Not like I won't be available on Discord for DMs anyway-- I just wanna wait until something gets me going again#Really honestly I kinda just want to finish my longfic because right now that's the Cyberpunk thing I really care the most about
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20 Questions for Fic Writers:
(Tagged by @aashiyancha! :D Posting here instead of on the main blog tho, because I want it in with all my other fic-adjacent thoughts.)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
10! Which doesn't feel like many to me, buuuut...
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
...317,249! 8D
3. What fandoms do you write for?
For the longest time, it was just RF, but I have some stories for something else waiting in the wings because the brainrot just got to be too much. >_>; I also used to write a lot of original fiction (that's how I started writing actually), and hope to do so again whenever I feel like it. ^_^
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Behold:
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! Mostly just because I get excited and have no chill. But also because you can't leave kudos on comments, and I want people to know I read and appreciate them. <3
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
This was kind of a hard question, because the way I generally roll is that the bulk of the fic is angsty and the ending is kind of bittersweet or hopefully ambiguous. But I think it's actually Afternoon Lullaby. Which had an outwardly mostly breezy ending, but at the end of the day it's like... "Your love is doomed, and you will grieve him for many times longer than he'll even live." But the love is there and it is real! Which might only make it worse! Gah!
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Honestly, probably Four Seasons Casebook. Mostly just because it ends with hints at things being... Too happy... >_>; (I don't consider this a spoiler because fellow Lucasheads already know what's up. :P)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Everyone has been really chill and nice! The real hotheads in this fandom are all busy on reddit trying to wish Cecil into the cornfield or whatever, I think.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
...Define smut, ha. >_>; I do write sex scenes, but I don't really do PWP, and I'm pretty vague/non-graphic about intercourse proper. But I love getting all horny and lingering about making out and foreplay, people's kinks, etc. I guess it can be best described as a "whole meal of appetizers" approach. Weird sexual tapas bar! Woo!
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Does combining different games from the same series count? I feel like it doesn't.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No, and I would be genuinely surprised if this happened.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but I hereby give permission to anyone who would like to take a crack at it!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, and I'm honestly not sure how that works! (Or maybe I'm just a control freak?)
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
Of the ones I've written, I'm ride or die for Lucas/Terry, and have accepted that it's kind of my Thing.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I don't tend to have a lot of things going at once, because I have a one-track mind and don't multitask well. I'm currently only working on one thing, and am halfway through the initial writing phase! But I have two longfics in the queue after that, and I gotta admit, I'm kinda "how will these EVER be DONE!?" about them, because there are two, and they are long. But I've written two longfics before, and they got wrote, so I'm sure these will too!
16. What are your writing strengths?
I have an eye for detail, and a lot of visual imagination.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
My fics are long and tedious and bogged down by details and tangents. But I see that as inextricable from my strengths, so there isn't really any fixing it. I'm just a certain kind of writer!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Knock yourselves out! I unfortunately only know one language, at the moment so I can't play right now. :(
19. First fandom you wrote for?
RF! I actually dabbled a little waaaaaay back in the day, and it's still floating around out there probably, but I haven't interacted with it in years and can't vouch for it.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Probably Four Seasons Casebook. Something about that one really came together! I also have a lot of affection for All the Night Gardens, mostly because it was just so fun to be cringe and free and in my feelings while I basically chewed on the walls pecking away at it for over a year.
I tag @twilightscribbles, @wordspastsaturn, @tinylantern, and @nullnomore! But no pressure! And feel free to do it even if I didn't tag you!
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so im also a minor and i love ur fics but i have to ask how do u have the modivation to update. im writing smth rn and its so hard to have modivation to update so do u have any tips?
hi! tysm im glad u like my fics!!
and regarding motivation honestly a lot of the time i simply don't have the motivation to write, but I've found some ways to fix that (kind of) that personally work for me.
when i first started writing fic a couple years ago i had way more free time so a lot more writing time, and i was motivated by all the fresh ideas i had and my excitement to write. however i do tend to get bored by longer stories the more i write them which is why i mostly stick to oneshots or shorter works because an idea that used to excite me starts getting boring after a few chapters.
with my current busy ass schedule ive been slowly but steadily working on this chatfic, because it's easy, stress free, and short. i can write one chapter in 30 minutes to an hour and post it right after, so it makes for an easy way to keep writing fic even while im busy. i just find chatfics overall very low effort so that helps me w motivation
my biggest tip for motivation would be: if something you used to actually want to sit down and write starts feeling like a chore because you feel like you have to update regularly or soon, stop writing it. fic is supposed to fun and an escape from stress, not a cause of it. so if writing something isn't really fun anymore, stop writing it. your readers may be disappointed but they'll understand because we all have our own important lives and feelings. and if someone doesn't understand then they don't deserve to read ur fics anyway
when you do enjoy writing but you just have a hard time finding the motivation to update, something did with my longfics was always have a backlog of chapters. for my long 70ishK fic i used to be about two chapters ahead, so i would post chapter 10 right after finishing chapter 12. doing that makes it easier to update knowing that you have a safety cushion if life gets busy or you get tired.
sometimes when i havent updated in a while i just have to kinda sit myself down and force myself to do it honestly. not in a bad way though, just in more of a i want to do this but i keep Not Doing It but i have some free time now and im going to use it to write. and i just clear up that free time and make it writing time and just do it. motivation is really hard sometimes so idk how helpful my tips will be at all because i certainly haven't mastered motivation so
anyway i hope this was at least like a little bit helpful, pls lmk if it was and sorry if it wasn't lol. anyway thanks again for reading my fics :)
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director's commentary for stygian ringlet??? 👀👀👀
OH BOY WHERE TO EVEN START
jesus christ this fic is easily the longest fic I've written to date. If you count Ghost of Mementos, it's OVER 70K WORDS TOTAL. AND IT'S STILL GOING. I've never written anything so long before. THIS THING STARTED AS A ONESHOT AND IT JUST E X P L O D E D
Actually this whole fic started after I was looking around on AO3 for PT Minato fics, and while I was bored during class I doodled what I thought Yu and Minato's masks would look like. I wanted their outfits to have some meaning to them beyond the surface-level aesthetics. Yu's outfit didn't get very far, but Minato… holy shit, once I based it off of Ryoji's outfit, it was off to the races. I immediately thought about how that awakening scene would go. and then I made a rough snippet of said scene. and then thought about how they would get up to that point and then before I knew it whoops I had a half completed fic
and then I finished and posted said fic
and then I noticed I still had some ideas left over for what happens later on
and I thought
"why NOT keep going, im having fun and the worst that can happen is I fall out of it, unfinished fics are better than no fic"
and that is how I found myself writing a longfic.
ANYWAY
my whole line of thinking for PT Minato was that I kept thinking about how Minato would bond with the PTs and how he would end up being a full fledged PT himself, because honestly that would make a prime opportunity for some really interesting character development. Minato had originally accepted the price of sealing Nyx at the end of P3, but after somehow accidentally falling back into reality and hanging out with the PTs for a while, he'd probably start to wonder if its ok to want things to be better than they turned out. his rebellion is the fact that he wants to live even though he's not supposed to. He's rebelling against his original fate, and his persona is the very person who fought against his true nature as DEATH INCARNATE just to be his friend. MAN. He'd fit right in with the PTs. (I still have feelings over these two dont mind me)
I was a little worried the whole amnesia trope would be a little dumb or dragged out too long, but it turned out to be fine. I mostly used it for plot regulation, bc I wanted him to have time to learn more about them at the same time as they're learning about him. He probably wouldn't have had a good reason to stick around long enough to bond with them otherwise. Kind of like Sophia, now that I think about it.
I've also learned a lot doing this?? outlining is a GODSEND why the hell wasn't I making bullet point lists before this
uhhhh I cant think of anything else off the top of my head, except that maybe chapters 10 and 12 were my favorites to write so far, though its real hard to pick a favorite
also if you want to see the notebook lecture doodles that spawned this entire brainrot circus here they are, some masks and a chat icon
(kinda wanna make a royal-style character art with him holding his mask but that's self-indulgent art for another day)
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What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?
Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?
Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?
Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?
What is the perfect environment for you to write in?
Which part of writing do you struggle with most?
dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?
If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?
Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?
Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?
What is your most underrated fic?
What fic are you most proud of?
What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.
Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?
What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?
What is the one fic that got away?
Have you cried while writing a fic?
If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?
Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future. (sorry for sending so many i really wanna know)
(no don’t worry it’s perfectly okay! i had fun answering all of them 😊)
1. what was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?
ah. okay, so the first fandom i wrote and published for was Voltron, though i will never give away what the pairing was. i was 14 and it was on Wattpad, the rest is forbidden knowledge
2.do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? if so, what do you like about them?
i recently participated in a few events and challenges, and honestly, they were a lot of fun! i’d have to say that what i like about them is that i get to get out of my comfort zone and push my limits.
3. do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?
well. uh, no.
sometimes i do write whole fics in one sitting, but usually it takes me a day or two, and i have more than one WIP doc open because my brain needs to switch fics when it gets bored, so to speak. i just need to jump around to avoid losing interest in a story
4. do you outline before you start writing? if so, how far do you stray from that outline?
if it’s a multi-chapter fic, then yes. if i don’t have a clear ending or goal, then the story can and will drag on and on and on lol. sometimes i’ll stray from my outline, since it’s not really a strict set of directions for me to follow, more of something to guide me. very often, my story won’t exactly resemble my outline.
5. what is the perfect environment for you to write in?
late at night with a steaming cup of tea or coffee, or just an energy drink, wrapped in my fuzzy blanket with instrumental music playing.
7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?
writing
/hj. idk i guess i’d have to say finding the right word when i forget it. or another super annoying thing is that sometimes i have the perfect word in french, and i need to find a good translation for it, but the english version of the word just doesn’t feel the same as the original. that’s very annoying lol.
10. do you enjoy dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?
dialogue. i tend to stray from the plot and i always struggle with exposition, but i absolutely love writing dialogue.
11. if you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?
angst. no questions. i need to hurt my characters because i love them.
12. is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?
enemies to lovers. i don’t have any actual WIPs with that specific trope, but i do really want to write it one day lol.
13. is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?
alpha/beta/omega. i fully support my writer friends who write it, but sadly i will never write it. it bothers me a little too much rip. i’d rather never write again than write it.
16. what is your most underrated fic?
um. personally, i think that this fic from my urban fantasy AU was really not popular lol. i kinda see why, since its pure fluff and from an AU that is a personal indulgence lol
17. what fic are you most proud of?
okay this Jayroy fic from my bad things happen bingo is definitely one of the ones i’m very proud of. idk, i just like it? i can’t explain why i’m proud of it, but i am.
18. what is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.
i decided to cheat a little and i’ll be using a line from a WIP instead. and the commentary’s gonna be written bc i can
It was a mission report. Bruce had told him it was fine if he finished it tomorrow.
Tim could finish it tonight. (tim you absolute walnut SLEEP)
He was perfectly capable of doing what Bruce asked him. (not when you’re sleep deprived, idiot) He wasn’t Dick. he certainly wasn’t Jason. But he could still work diligently and without mistake. He could be better. (aw bby you dumb idiot child you dont need to be better)
Tim stared at the person standing in the hallway, eyes narrowed and mug in one hand. He knew for a fact that it took longer than twenty-seven hours of no sleep to start hallucinating. (I BANISH YOU TO SLEEP JAIL YOU UNRULY GREMLIN)
But that was the only reason Tim could fathom the Red Hood standing in the kitchen of Titans Tower at half-past three in the morning. (and that’s valid. i too would think i’d be hallucinating lmao)
Red Hood approached Tim slowly. “You have a lot of nerve wearing that uniform.” (jason please LET. THAT. GO.)
Tim glanced down at his rumpled gray shirt and flannel pajama bottoms. (i laughed writing this. i laughed a lot)
He should be more alarmed that the Red Hood clearly knew he was Robin without the mask, but Tim was too tired and he was going to have to push that freak-out to the next day. (me doing homework at 4am like)
19. who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? why?
this time i’ll go with the type of characters. the easiest character for me to write is definitely the one character i relate to the most/ my comfort character because of course, i know them more than any other character and to some level understand their character. the hardest character to write is probably one i don’t really know or one who doesn’t have a lot of character development or there isn’t much info about them. i’ll still write them, but i’ll be making up a lot of stuff lol.
20. what’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?
hmm. i haven’t written many side characters, but i did love writing Dana Winters. she’s very cool and i like her a lot.
21. what is the one fic that got away?
it might just be me but im struggling a bit with what this could mean, so i’m going to assume it means that one fic that didn’t go where i expected it to (if that’s not what you meant, feel free to send me an ask correcting me lol)
so i’d have to say its the second part of this 2 chapter fic i wrote because a lot of people were asking for more cuddles in the first part. i was not expecting writing another fic specifically for fluff, but here we are.
22. have you cried while writing a fic?
definitely during that one major character death fic i wrote. i wrote the aftermath of the character’s death and i was crying while writing it lmao.
i was crying so much writing the ending for this
23. if you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?
i wrote a sort of road trip birdflash au that i wouldn’t mind seeing as a remix
30. tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.
i’m actually writing a longfic right now. i don’t even know where i got the idea from, but it’s basically a batfam no capes AU where they all practice magic instead and it’s set in 1927.
here’s the ask game! send me an ask! (or more than one, i don’t mind)
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Why are you 'on the fence' about the fullmetal alchemist big bang? I saw you say stuff about how it would be great to do one in your notes and now you changed your mind?
Hey, anon. Thanks for the ask.
Honestly, I debated whether I should answer this. However, I post enough stuff encouraging people to drop asks in my inbox. It felt wrong to ignore this ask because giving an honest response makes me uncomfortable. I guess the answer is complicated.
You’re right when you say I’ve been pretty vocal about wanting to participate in another FMA Big Bang since September or October of 2019. My interest goes back to the beta work I’ve been doing for @teaplease1717’s Ashes of Love and War, an awesome Todomomo fic for the Boku No AU Big Bang. Working on a big project like that was (and is) fun. Naturally, I wanted a piece of that for myself in one of my favorite fandoms.
I’ve been a spectator for so many big bangs, reverse bangs and open bangs, even events done with writing and soundtracks! Every year, I wanted to participate in Resbang (in particular), but there was something always holding me back, be it an existing longfic or my responsibilities. And then there’s that awful, nagging voice in the back of my mind which cautions that my fic might not be picked up by an artist.
Then what? Are the mods going to be like, “Too bad. Write a better story next time.”
I’ve heard the big bang horror stories. Well, maybe not horror stories, but if I had to write in isolation for six+ months, I might start talking to inanimate objects about my fic a la Castaway. “Wilson, have I used too many semicolons in this chapter? And when Riza is dancing with Roy in chapter six, should Roy, like, go for the kiss or is that not slowburn-y enough? I feel like we should torture them for at least two more chapters.” There’s an apple pie scented candle on the corner of my desk that would be a great candidate for this role. I will call the candle P’Tas, after my beta reader friends, lol. (Kinda a Star Trek-ish name.)
But aside from all that (as well as the fear that the sign-ups won’t be as anonymous as one might hope – I’d like to meet and collaborate with new people, not just see the popular writers get paired with the popular artists), the FMA Bang Bang has two rules that brought my enthusiasm to a screeching halt.
There is no limit on what kinds of things can be present in your fic sans the no minor/adult rule, no incest rule, and the no blatant NSFW rule, so if you’re going to write about triggering topics outside of those already not allowed in this event then please be mindful to tag each and every one as well as keeping the content PG-13.
And
Fanfiction should not have been posted anywhere before this event (even if it was only a few chapters, not the whole work).
😪
Two fun facts. Most of the ideas I have would be rated mature because they explore dark themes. My first candidate for an FMA Big Bang would be Original Sin, a post-canon fic about the war crimes trials that I have been thinking about for well over a year. My second choice would be the surprisingly fun Royai succubus AU I thought up for Witch, Please! But let’s be honest here; neither topic is PG-13, especially that succubus AU. Like, if you’re going to read or write a succubus AU, you know what you’re there for.
The second fun fact is that I posted my Fictober prompts for the purpose of testing new material. There are at least five serviceable chapter fic ideas buried in the prompts. I wanted to see how it would feel to write a random portion of it with zero pressure or commitment (and to gauge the response). While it worked as far as figuring out which ideas had potential, doing that has also made each of the ideas ineligible for the big bang.
Thus, my idea factory has been gutted, and where I was once really excited, I’m on the fence.
Part of me feels I should just devote my free time to developing my Todomomo ideas and, like, finish up my WIPs. Another part of me doesn’t want to give up so easily. Regardless, I’m painfully aware that I’ll be starting from scratch and working under an ambitious schedule. All it takes is another bout of sickness like I experienced earlier this year, and I’ll get too far behind. So, idk…
Bet that was more than you were expecting, anon. Sorry for unloading on this ask, but I kinda needed to vent a little bit. I really hope the FMA Big Bang does well. I hope it forges new bonds between fans and marries the benefits of the old school zine mentality with the accessibility and diversity of perspective promoted by online archives.
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this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333
it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))
(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))
i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333
i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))
ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;
anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD
far from home - bucky x stark sister!reader
firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them
‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’
IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto
ooooooo!! the backstory coming in 👀👀
‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’
yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both
oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them
‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’
ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow??
‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’
your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)
‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘
mood during this quarantine lol
‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘
OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT
ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol
oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool
‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’
👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes
eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant
oh no :(( more angst
‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;
very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations!
i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)
slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader
omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD
‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’
oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)
ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo
oh gosh
‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’
this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it
i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad
NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!
oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg
‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”
this is so soft i stg im crying in the club
OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!
anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :((
i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn
.
cookies and rings and things bucky and reader
‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’
did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER
‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’ jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3
you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)
‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘
you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness
‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘
he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)
‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’
this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333
you do fluff SO WELL DAMN
‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘
yike bringing back that reminder oof
but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love
‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART
you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying
“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.
oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!
oh shit o am literally crying
your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy
I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E I T
ive spent like three hours doing this lolol
thank you so much for everything hayley!
#i love you sm hayley!!!! thank you for EVERYTHING#AND THIS IS A FIC REC PLS CHECK HAYLEYS STUFF OUT
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5,6,7,8,23 for fanfic asks)
Thank you, sweetie 🤗
5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?
I don’t really re-read my own work unless I have to (when I need to check the continuity for example). That being said, I’m rather proud of Kirkwall, City of Ruins because you can tell I gave it some special care. I actually took the time to edit it since it was for a zine and I couldn’t post it right away for immediate gratification.
6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?
Not in my recent fanon history. Not yet, at least. I did, however, find a very old fic I wrote when I was 12 and a bit too much into Pirates of the Caribbean. Now that one is embarrassing for a lot of reasons: grammar, prose, story... (No, I will not post a link to it. It’s in French anyway.)
7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
I’ve outlined much of Second Chances, but I’m terrified that I’ll never finish it because I never finish anything (this is why I mostly write one-shots). But I care about that story so much and I want to see it to the end. I want to prove to myself that I can do it.
8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
Back Into Your Arms is supposed to be a three chapter-long minific. The third chapter is almost complete. Yet it’s been over a year since my last update 🤦♀️ I do want to finish it (preferably before the end of the year), but I’ve started so many things since then that I just... kinda forgot about it?
23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?
I love getting emotional responses from people. I love getting comments from readers telling me my fics made them cry or laugh because it means I did a good job, I wrote something good. It’s reassuring in a way.
Writing longfics also brought another kind of comment that I love. Readers on Second Chances, for example, post longer, in-depth comments about each chapters ending with how much they’re looking forward to the next one, and honestly? It’s pretty fucking encouraging! If it weren’t for these readers, I probably would have given up when I lost all motivation earlier this year tbh.
[Fanfic Author Asks]
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Author Post — KizuRai
We sat down with @kizurai to talk about Rain World, their process, and their Supernova adventure!
What inspired your story?
Listen. I was stuck in traffic on my way home from work one day, and it was pouring rain – as it does in Seattle, or anywhere near the northwest – and I thought to myself, “What if- but rain?”
No, but seriously though, I really was stuck in traffic and I wondered what would happen if rain could eat through materials. I would’ve been just stuck there, with nowhere to go and just melted there. Which is, okay, it’s morbid but I mean I wrote a post-apoc, what did you expect?
That and also I took inspiration from this indie game called <i>Rain World</i> (where I got the title if you couldn’t tell) and it… honestly there’s almost zero resemblance but I loved the concept of lizard monsters and the pressure of the rain killing you and having to run shelter to shelter. Like I said, kinda resembles my fic but not really?
Anyway, my fic is not frightening I swear!
How do you form your stories? Do you outline beforehand or write by the seat of your pants? Do you write linearly or out of order?
Outline? hAHA I tried, I honestly did try considering that was one of the requirements for the first draft: to at least have an outline written out (although it's a little more than that, be sure to read the rules lol). So I did write one, but then I threw that right out the window when I started writing because these ridiculous characters just don’t like to stick to script.
What I did do was write a bunch of random blurbs and facts about the world (which I never ended up using) and drew out some concept art and some floor plans, because I'm nothing if not a thorough game developer LOL
I also cannot for the life of me write out of order. If I do I just end up throwing it out even though I like it; I end up not being able to fit it anywhere.
So yes, I write linearly (not by choice) and write at the seat of my non-pants (because I hate wearing pants) and I just sit there, staring at a blank google doc until inspiration hits, or lightning strikes, whichever one comes first, and I just write and force myself to write and I keep writing until the stupid thing is done.
What in your fic are you most proud of?
Um, that it’s done? I’m still surprised I completed something, surprised I even managed 74k of words, like was I possessed?
Serious answer though, I wrote like up to chapter 9 and realized I didn’t add in any relationship stuff and Emma and Regina’s relationship went from 0 to 100 in a chapter. So I had to go back and sprinkle their relationship here and there. I guess that’s probably what I am most proud of, lmao, that I managed to make swanqueen for a swanqueen fic lol
Oh, and also making everyone hate me because of my fic. That is a joy.
Is there anything you'd change now?
Serious talk, which means this part is uninteresting but:
The thing is, we’re always changing, we’re always moving forward in one way or another, our minds are in constant movement. Therefore, whenever I look back on my old stuff I always get caught up in “god, that’s awful, why did I write that?” or “maybe I could’ve done better” and I’m sure I could if I spend the time to do so but why?
It’s done, if I’m really upset about something I should change then I’ll write a new story and do better because we grow with experience and each story writers churn out is like gaining experience points, eventually we’ll level up and maybe gain an extra skill.
The point I’m trying to get at is that, sure, there are plenty things I would love to change – burn the whole thing in a fire if I could (believe me I wanted to a couple of times) – but instead of looking back I’m going to look forward and make something better than the last.
How do you deal with writers' block?
So I follow Emily Andras on twitter and she mentioned something that I took to heart; she said something along the lines of ”writer's block is for amateurs” and I got confused and a little angry at first but let me say, I think I get it. Even though I do get writers block and I’m screaming at my screen hoping for something to happen, I wonder what professional writers do when they’re on a deadline?
I think they power through.
And even if you think what you’re writing is terrible and it might never make it into the final copy, it’s still something, it’s still words on a page and sometimes just writing something might spark something. That’s basically what I did, I kept powering through even though I hated every second of it, but I managed to get it done on time (early actually because I remembered the deadline day wrong, but let’s not talk about that) and it’s done. Period.
Also, deadlines. Those help a lot.
Was this Supernova experience different than your typical writing experience?
As mentioned above I really think the deadlines helped me. I’ve always been kinda the ‘goal-orientated but lazy otherwise’ type so on my own I’m pretty much whatever and I have a billion WIPs but forcing myself to write and do daily sprints really helped. There’s also a bunch of other writers facing the same thing as me so we can all suffer together.
Any advice to other writers who might want to write a longfic, or participate in Supernova next year?
You know what, don’t listen to all the other authors telling you outlines are the key LOL sure, go ahead and write one if that helps you, but really you gotta find the process that works for you. It’s a little bit like education, everyone learns differently, everyone has a different way of doing things.
Oh but, yeah, listen to me on that ‘forcing yourself to write’ thing, you might hate yourself, or you might hate me while doing it – most likely me but whatever – but just get words on a page.
Also, don’t be so anxious about sharing your work. Your fic is not representative of your self-worth. Don’t write because you want validation or have everyone praise you. Write because you enjoy it and get happy if even one person reads your fic and loves it because these things tend to turn out like a popularity contest and a lot of new writers get lost in the crowd (I mean, like 6-8 things will pop out daily so unless you have a following already, people may or may not leave you until a lot later) so
1) Don’t be upset if you don’t receive any comments until a month (or 5) later
2) Be happy you finished something! Look at what you’ve accomplished rather than focus on the extraordinarily high expectations you’ve put on yourself
3) Have fun
That’s it for me on advice. #fluffwriter signing out.
You can read Rain World on AO3, along with KizuRai’s other works! And don’t forget to feed the author!
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A Review of the Year – Writing Meme 2018
I’ve been really terrible at answering memes I’ve been tagged in these last few weeks. Sorry about that everyone! But it’s a new year, and both @mordinette and @ripley95things tagged me for the thing a couple days ago so let’s get things started right :D
Total number of completed stories:
If you count all the one shots from Desstober (when I wrote a one shot for Dess most days), about 19. Considering the longfics I still have in the works, I’m clinging to that number to remind myself that I can actually finish the things I start.
Total word count:
I’m gonna go with words posted because the words written are kinda scattered and hard to count, so: 45,869. Oof. Probably my least productive year in a while, but that’s fine. Can’t change it now. That just leaves more words for me to write in 2019 :D
Fandoms written in:
Pretty exclusively Mass Effect, but @pagerunner and I are still kicking around a crossover for the shows Lucifer and Leverage.
Looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?
I definitely started 2018 with grander aspirations, but circumstances converged on me so that I had next to no Me Time for about, oh, nine months. (Not for the reason that length of time usually implies, but the real reason is headdeskingly similar *sigh*)
What’s your own favorite story of the year?
This question is so haaaarrrrd! Because I like a lot of things I wrote for different reasons. I like You shouldn’t have come here because it’s kind of the first moment Dess starts to grow up. I like All’s Fair because it’s finally letting my OTP ship sail. I like I know you do because it’s such a great brother-sister moment between Dess and Hadrian. I like You should have seen it because it was kind of a sweet moment and much-needed support between Dess and Alli. I like Light in the Dark because I don’t write nearly enough Vetra even though I love her with my whole heart. I CAN’T CHOOSE AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME.
Did you take any writing risks this year?
Not especially. Well kind of. Not in technique or structure or anything. I’ve held the Hannah/Dess ship pretty close to my chest for a while now, but even though I’ve intended them to be endgame since pretty early in writing Hawks and Doves, I’ve written them almost exclusively platonically with a lot of subtext hinting at more romantic feelings. But in All’s Fair, they finally, finally, FINALLY kissed! I considered that kiss, and this ship, a bit of a risk because I’m working with one canon character who’s basically an OC and another OC, so there’s next to nothing in the games that hints at their story. It’s a whole new ship, specific to my universe, and it’s friends-to-lovers on top of it. I took a risk in hoping I’d written their relationship well enough to this point that anyone reading the story would either 1) at least be able to see the natural evolution of their relationship, or more ideally 2) actively want them to get together. So far, the response to them getting together has been overwhelmingly positive, so I feel like this risk paid off :D
Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?
YES! I wanna finish All’s Fair (or the gala fic, as I’ve been calling it) because then the whole Hannah/Dess ship will be solidified and I’ll finally be able to get on with things in Family Resemblance without that little turn of events hanging out there. And I know I’ve only got the first chapter posted, but there’s a whole lot more I’ve written. I just started posting it in November and then the holidays started happening so :/ Right now, I’m a couple hundred words away from having the next three or four chapters done :D
Best/most popular story of the year?
I’m not exactly sure how to measure this one, but I’m gonna say the first chapter of All’s Fair takes the cake because it’s a completely new ship that wasn’t in the games, and it’s had a pretty positive reception. And for just one chapter of OC shipping (and so far the only thing that’s happened is one kiss), it has about 100 hits, which is pretty good for me!
Story of mine most underappreciated by the universe, in my opinion:
I don’t quite like the implication behind claiming something is “underappreciated” because I’m always thrilled for any appreciation, but one story I think didn’t quite get the platform I would’ve like for it was Light in the Dark. It’s a good story, but the fandom for Mass Effect: Andromeda petered out a bit when BioWare said they were putting the franchise on ice. What can you do :/
Most fun story to write:
I had an absolute ball writing all those one shots for Dess in October, so I’ll take them together and say Between the Letters was the most fun :D
Story with the single sexiest moment:
I don’t usually write sexy things, so the kiss in All’s Fair is definitely the sexiest thing I wrote last year. Maybe People like you have no imagination is up there too, but it didn’t have the same emotion behind it.
Most sweet story:
I think Light in the Dark also gets this one. It’s a formative moment between Vetra and Sid as they’re trying to make it on their own, and despite the challenges, they can still take a moment to be sisters.
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
Justification, the chapter of Family Resemblance I posted last year, made me consider other aspects of my OC Bethany Greenwood. Before that chapter, she’d started to fade into the background, but after Justification, I have more plans for her :D
Most unintentionally telling story:
In 2018? Hm… I’m drawing a blank. If I’ve written anything that’s telling, it’s probably more obvious to others than it is to me :P
Hardest story to write:
FAMILY RESEMBLANCE OMG
Write an alphabet fic, I said!
It’ll be fun I, said!
Let’s make it a political intrigue crossed with a family saga spanning 30-ish years! And change perspectives every chapter! No big deal!
*cries about it*
Biggest disappointment:
That I didn’t write more :/ But I’m trying not to be disappointed about that. You can’t drive by looking in the rearview mirror. I might not have written as much as I wanted last year, but I have plenty to write this year :D
Biggest surprise:
That so many people are so enthusiastically on-board with Hannah/Dess :D My heart is so full that so many readers were rooting for them!
Number of fic chapters written in 2018:
One *cries about it*
Number of chaptered fics completed in 2018:
I think I need to call my lawyer…
Relationships:
Mostly Hannah/Dess, but there was also a little Dess/Adrian that was fun (if a little sad) to write! I also wrote a little bit about Dess/Cassia and their . . . interesting relationship. I consider Cassia aromantic and Dess demiromantic, so neither one of them considers their sexual relationship something that would ever last once it stopped being fun. They are friends, though, and Cassia does care about Dess being happy, so she’s actually very happy to learn about Dess and Hannah finally making romantic overtures :P
Proudest achievements:
Honestly, that I was able to write anything at all. I was especially happy about fleshing out some of Dess’s background and character (especially the parts that don’t include Hannah) because I feel like she’s more than just a love interest now. And the fact that I wrote 18 one-shots for her in one month surprised even me! I wanna do that again, but with Sana this time :D
Writing goals for 2019:
Finish writing All’s Fair. This is at the top of my list because I really can’t proceed with Family Resemblance until All’s Fair is done. Thankfully, it’s not supposed to be that long, maybe 40k words at most and I’m already sitting at about 20k.
Continue writing Family Resemblance. The next chapter is K (Kismet) and it’s mostly finished but still needs some pretty heavy editing—and it’s gonna have a special appearance by Adrian Nyx :D Then L (Liminal) still needs Alli’s half, but it’s gonna loop Bethany Greenwood into the story more tightly in Michael’s half, which is already done. Then M (Mindoir) still needs to be written, and I’ve been putting it off because it’s gonna be so hard on everyone :( Then N (Nexus) has Alli’s half done and about half of the second part, which will be from a perspective that’s neither Hannah’s nor Michael’s :D Really if I can work Alli through the rest of her pre-Alliance life (O, for Opportunity) this year, I’ll consider it a win.
Write a month of one-shots for Sana. It was a lot of fun when I did it for Dess, and I have a lot I want to write about for Sana in the same way! And for anyone wondering, yes. There will indeed be at least a brief glimpse at baby!Sana :D
Who knows? I might even post a little smut ;)
I think I’m also gonna start keeping closer track of my word counts this year. I’m not gonna set myself a word count goal, but I think it would be informative to know when I’m most and least productive and figure out why. Let’s say every first of the month I’ll tally the words from the previous month and break it down from there. Yay spreadsheets :D
Now for tagging! How about @pagerunner, @servantofclio, @black-rose4, @tarysande, and @thievinghippo. Only if you want to and if no one’s tagged you already, of course!
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Author Spotlight: @highkingfen
Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.
First things first, tell us a little about yourself.
I am Cath, I’m 27 years old, I speak French and I live in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. I met my husband on Tumblr, I love cosplaying and doing edits in photoshop. My main blog is @booksandanxieties and, my other side blogs are @themagiciansweirdface and @fillorymedia. I also co-own @neitherlandslibrary.
How long have you been writing for?
Since I am 12, there’s some french harry potter fic written by me in the dark web of ff.net.
What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?
I missed writing! And there was not a lot of fics when I join (Still remember there were only 15 pages on ao3)
Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?
Arielle and Fen, which is odd I am aware ahha! I adore writing about them because first, we don’t get to see them a lot and I love to explore what they could be and their story and I love writing about what it is to live in Filory and all of its lore, they are both great protagonists to do so.
Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?
Lately, I have been fixed on 3x05 (life in the day) because I wrote an entire fic named The Golden Tile that is about the first five years of Eliot and Quentin in Fillory’s past. I love rewriting whole season with canon divergences. What if’s are fun to write especially in this fandom, the timelines make it easy to do it!
Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?
As some may know, I am currently writing an Unofficial The Magicians dnd book! ( @unofficialmagiciansdnd ) It is about 65% done. I have still some of the mechanics to write and a lot of lists to create (Such as a list of spells or a list of magical creatures)
I also write on the side Book 2 of The Golden Tile named Under Pressure. I finished the first fic with a surprise plot twist that was canon divergent, with the second book I explore the consequence; what if Eliot and Quentin found the golden tile 5 years into their quest and comes back on Earth 5 years older with Arielle and Rupert.
How long is your “to do list”?
Not so long, I try to focus on what I write and I tend not to think of other things. But I do have a Twin!Au with Fen and Q that I want to write and Book 2 of my Fenfic where we see her point of view during season 2 and 3.
What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?
That’s cruel to ask. I have two that I am rather proud but if I have to choose, I’d say The Girl from the World in The Wall (that I nicknamed my fenfic) which is the story of Fen before Eliot. We follow her from her 2 years old until she married the High King, learning his name on the altar.
I had started to write it after season 2, totally in love with Fen and mad that we didn’t know anything about her and mad at how the gang treated her. So I wondered what it was to be raised knowing you might marry a king. The word might is important since they didn’t know if Eliot would ever come. I wanted to explore how did she join the FU Fighter and why, despite her beliefs, she accepts her forced marriage. There was a lot to explore there so I started to untangle everything and ended up having to create lore for Fillory because we do not know much of what it is to be a farmer, knifemakers, peasant, in this land. I fell deeply in love with the lore and discovered in Fen a strong woman that decided to choose love and kindness, not out of naivety, but because it is the right thing to do.
When Season 3 aired, I’d finished writing the fic (it was a NaNoWriMo goal) and I was more than happy to discover that what I’d written actually fit what they wrote about her. I ADORE that we got to know her more and don’t get me started on her being an acting king.
P.s: Some of the lore in the Fenfic ended up leaking in The Golden Tile; I love tying my fics in one large universe.
Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?
My fenfic, hands down. I wish they would read The Girl from the world in the wall to see where most of the lore and my love of Fillory comes from. Fen is underestimated in the fandom (Though less since season 3) and deserve more recognition.
What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?
I listen to podcasts all the time so when I write, I need silence. Music distracts me. I always need the thesaurus synonym because I tend to use the same word over and over or know what a word means but finding it imprecise. Which makes writing without internet hard, but now that I know its a must, I try as much as I can, to write where wifi is. Also, I can’t write if someone is in the room. Even if they are doing their own stuff. I don’t know why. Even when I was writing essays for classes it was like that.
Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?
I had nothing really going during season 3 and then episode 5 happen and I kinda exploded. Knowing it was a self-contained story (the life having already been lived by Q and Eliot) I started to write while it was airing. It is at the end of it that I decided that the ending of The Golden Tile could be interesting if it was canon divergent; I’m excited to see what Arielle and Rupert bring into the group and if it will lead toward the same choice. Only time will tell!
Otherwise, I usually write One Shot during airing season time, that way I don’t have to overthink things if what I write is not canon compliant anymore.
What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?
My Fenfic. Maybe that’s why it is the one I am the proudest of. To have to create a whole character and yet stick to the canon was exciting. As well as reading as much as I can about Fillory. There was not a lot about it online at the time, so it had been meticulous research (I had the map of FIllory open most of the time I was writing just to be sure of the place I was saying were compliant. ) Before I never did much research before writing a fic, now it is one of my favorite parts
Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?
Canon divergence, as you can see! I love to see the butterfly effect and how one thing can change the whole story. My first longfic Shake it off was about Eliot forcing back Quentin on his med. And that changed a lot of things! Yay for timelines that can make us say its canon!
Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?
J.K Rowling will always be important for my writing because her universe made me want to write. I read a lot of YA so I can say the author influence my writing because, through reading, I discover what I like and what I don’t which makes me better in the end.
Fanfic-wise, I discovered a lot of great author in this fandom and I hate naming people because if I don’t name someone they might be sad or get discouraged, and I don’t want that. I adore that we got so many writers and that the subjects are so different. It’s not only one trope on one ship over and over. Sometimes I read a summary and I laughed cause I wonder how the author came up with the idea! It made me want to be better and write more elaborate and less easy trope fics.
What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?
Depression had kicked my ass with reading. I went from reading 92 books last year to 4 this year. So yeah, I don’t read as much, but I try to get back in, now that I am feeling better.
I just finished reading There there be Gerblins, a graphic novel of the first arch of The Adventure Zone podcast. It’s really good and funny. In fact, this podcast is part of the inspiration of me writing the DND book.
The Dnd book writing means that I carry everywhere the 5th edition of Dungeon and Dragon with me. It is not a copycat of it, but there are mechanics that are the same or, sometimes, they help me just figure out how to structure the book itself. I love the weird look I get when I go to Starbuck with it.
I just bought a new book by J.K Rowling name Very Good lives and I am excited to read it when I’m going in my next trip; a plane without wifi is a good excuse to read.
Fanfic wise; I usually binge. I wait a month or two and then read everything I haven’t read. But one fic I read the moment there is a new chapter is The Mess We Made by Rays. I looooovelove love it. A must read
What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?
Write first, edit after. Otherwise, you’ll edit the same paragraph the rest of your life.
that or
If 50 shades of gray can be published, you can do it.
they are my two mottoes.
Cringe time:
Are there any words or phrases you worry about overusing in your work?
oh, I have a ton of them. I can’t think of one example but sometimes I get stuck on a word on a paragraph and I am using it for like ever. Hense the wonder of thesaurus synonym website.
What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?
A harry potter one, I probably can find it. I don’t want to. LOL
Rapid Fire Round:
Self-edit or Beta? Self-edit, trying the Beta for Under Pressure!
Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? COMMENTS FOR SURE I LIVE FOR THOSE. how many time did one comment make me continue to write! But honestly, anytime someone acknowledges they read my thing, I am happy and blown away. I forget sometimes, that people want to read my stuff.
Smut, Fluff or Angst? All of the above? Honestly? Depend on the mood!
Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Depend on the mood too! Usually slow burn but sometimes a good Quick & Dirty is always good
Favourite season? 3
Favourite episode? Six Stories about Magic
Favourite book(The Magicians books)? The first one
Three favourite words? Bunny, kindness, writing
Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.
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Hello everyone! None of you probably know this because... why would you? But i started publishing fanfiction a year ago today. I started writing fanfic because of quarantine yknow, and wasnt planning to stick with it, but as of today i have 59 published fanfics (ao3 says 58 right now and i dont know why????) And ive written over 170k words.
Im just really proud of myself for writing so much, and wanted to thank everyone whos read my fanfics for commenting and reading and just enjoying them! Ive really enjoyed writing fanfic and interacting with people through it, and while i still feel like im learning a lot, ive gotten a lot more confident in my writing.
So i wanted to do something to celebrate, than i had no ideas, so im planning to update a few fanfics over the day, open up asks for... stuff? Maybe requests? Idk. And i also wanted to know if any of you want me to post my fanfics on tumblr again, now that i have a backlog itll be much more worthehile to just soend a day doing that.
Also, wanted to shout out a few of my favorite fanfics ive written bc i have an ego so ill go by fandom
Pretty Cure - "hard to say" hands down my best precure fanfic. It may be short but it definitely crystalized my conceptions of nagisa as a character and i like the theme i explored. Its about nagisas relationship with love.
Yugioh - my favorite to write wsd actually "a forest (i wont return)" i got to go way more surreal with my writing than i normally do in fanfic and i honestly think luna deserves more exploration. Its about lunas power pre 5ds.
Pokemon- also a pretty easy choice, my 17k oneshot behemoth that is "when we were queen". Written in three days and absolute murder, it tells the story of concordia and anthea taking n's place in pokemon bw.
Winx club - also a pretty clear choice in "Daphnes Ascension" but i want to shine a spotlight on "Drowning While Burning" a much shorter fic that definitely helped me explore my thoughts about Daphne. The themes were a lot easied to keep consistent than in a longfic
And finally
Beyblade - with 25 fics in this fandom its really hard to choose one, but id go with "aquarios reawakening" or "burning aries" both pretty long fics that i actually wrote with some semblance of an action plot! I dont write action that often so it was definitely out of my comfort zone but im so proud of myself for finishing them. One follows hyoma during the start of metal fury and the other follows hikaru postcanon running a tournament.
Anyway, thanks again for reading my fanfic, and honedtly this is me kinda just cangratulating myself and marking this down because wow. I stuck with this for a year.
#please do lemme know if you want me to post my fanfics on tumblr idk how many people would be interested#thank you for putting up with my self indulgence#alright time to go update a fic
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I have a question about some sort of writing insecurity. It's a bit of a downer so feel free to ignore this. So, I used to write a lot in the past but as the years go by I found myself wanting to write less and less. I write maybe once a year as a birthday present to a friend and I don't feel happy with what I come up with but when I try to write something I want to, I can't. When I read some of my past works I can't help but think that I'll never write as good as I once did. Do you have advice?
Hi! I had to sit on this one overnight, because as someone who is not a professional and who does suffer from a lot of "wow my writing is trash and will never be as good as x person's" I don't know if I'm even qualified to give advice, but I think as someone with Severe Performance Anxiety, I at least know what does and doesn't work for me.
Now some background. I've been in fandom for [squints] about two decades now. I went from FF.net to LJ to AO3, but by the time I hit AO3, I was pretty much not writing as much because I was into LJ/DW roleplaying games and I did that pretty seriously for a decade, so there was a ten year gap where I was not seriously writing fanfic.
And then I smashed onto the scene last year and wrote over a hundred fics in a year, so... That happened.
But let's backtrack. I didn't write fanfic for ten years. I did WRITE, because RP is a writing hobby but it's a very different writing hobby. It's really hard to craft a story in that kind of situation. It's hard to get exactly the right things you want out of it. You just end up kinda going with the flow and using it to examine character more than you use it to tell a story. (Why are all my pieces character driven? TEN YEARS of this.)
But I digress. I wouldn't say this experience killed my ability to weave a good story in its cradle, because prior to this, I had never weaved a good story in my life. That's not self-deprecation- I looked at my LJ and the longest story on there is 8k. I was writing a lot, but I was writing short pieces that were just for fun. My FF.net has been utterly nuked and before that happened, my only longfic was a darker and edgier sequel to the movie Over the Hedge that I never finished.
So how do you go from a history of never writing anything longer than a ficlet, to ten years of character-driven RP, to... whatever the hell I'm doing right now?
You just write. This seems like cliche advice, but it is LITERALLY the only reason I'm doing this.
Let's go back again. When I was in high school, I had notebooks filled with self-indulgent fanfic that would never ever see the light of day. I will never clean those fics up and post them. I will never expose anyone to those plots. Sometimes I didn't even write full fics. I'd write scenes that popped into my head. I still have all of those notebooks for no reason other than they were fun for me and it's cool to see what I was obsessed with as a teenager and what I did with it.
It didn't matter if it was good. It was just something to do when I was bored in class and my head was drifting and I needed to do something. Writing was my stimming. (Undiagnosed ADHD my beloathed.) Being terminally online gave me something of a VALIDATE ME PLS complex, but I also spent a long time on LJ and if you think FF.net and AO3 are voids, try LIVEJOURNAL where if you're not getting comments, the only way you knew you're getting seen is if someone recced your fic and you found it on Delicious by searching your username.
So basically, while I still crave that sweet, sweet validation, I learned how to live without it (but I still want it always). Writing on LJ was honestly about the same as writing in a notebook at school, except now people could see it if they WANTED to.
I am extremely long-winded here, but... Writing for the sake of writing makes you better. If you want to write, then first you have to commit to the idea that sometimes things you write won't be up your standards. (Also I'm gonna be straight with you- there are things I've written that I thought were the most basic trash I could come up with that ended up being VERY popular, while things I crafted with my blood and tears get crickets, so beauty is also in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes people want cakes without a bunch of fondant.) Writing without intent to post isn't a waste of words. My WIP folders are the way they are because sometimes I started writing things and then completely forgot the point I was trying to make. One day I'll salvage them. Or if not then well... It's a thing I wrote.
The other advice I can give is that reading really does help. When I feel like crap and don't want to write or my writing feels trite, then I read and usually my inspiration perks right up, because sometimes another person's way with words can inspire you to write and will also improve your grasp of narrative. Like seriously, it works. There's always going to be a little bit of UGH I'LL NEVER WRITE LIKE THIS, but my brain always tries, anyway, and that's how I've built my style- off the tactics I learned from of every writer who has ever wrote a sentence that made me go "damn."
I don't know if this helps you, nonnie. But it's what's gotten me from ten years of not writing (and ten years of not writing anything with substance) to a year of intense writing. I didn't appear out of the void, fully formed writing a million damn words and being a complete madwoman. I just sort of worked in the shadows honing my craft and then splooged it on my fandoms at once when I needed an outlet for my plague depression.
#my asks#long post#this was such a long-winded explanation for what EVERY DAMN WRITER will tell you#but like.. that's what works for me#there's never been a time in twenty years where I wasn't writing
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ye olde liner notes
A whole bunch of meta for The Truth or Something Beautiful, which @magcretia and I posted two months ago? Sure why not?
It’s hecking long, so more under the cut....
Elaine: so I guess at this point (almost 2 months later) this is more of a retrospective, yeah? But we both want to take a look at how this thing happened, so it's all good.
Kath: Yeah, I mostly thought it’d be useful to us as we’re working on this big WIP of [redacted] where there’s gonna be some intense feelings to kind of take some “emotional inventory” for Taako and Lucretia, and maybe also ourselves? And remind ourselves where we came from and where we’re trying to go.
E: I think we were both pretty wiped out after finishing this, so a little distance is good. I’m trying to remember what the bit was where we decided, fuckit let’s just publish after trying to cut and then put back blah blah blah? Was it “But we — we keep choosing Forsake,” ? We cut because it seemed like a weird turn, but then it turned out to be important?
K: I think it felt like a beat we were hitting without it flowing naturally there, which happens sometimes? But I think with these two, there just isn’t always a flow, because they’re in their own heads so much and say so little of what they need to say aloud. So a lot of times it just comes out abruptly and feels uncomfortable, which isn’t pretty, but it’s true to life. And a LOT of writing this was uncomfortable, I think.
E: Ok, I’ll just dive right into that, then. We both went into this thinking it was going to be an easier conversation than Find the One Safe Way and NOOOOOOOOPE.
K: YEAH UHHH LOL.
E: I had this moment of absolute low where I thought: we broke it, the thing that we thought we’d fixed, we absolutely just broke it, and personally (hi overidentifying with Lucretia) I just kept thinking WOW that was a mistake bringing up Lup.
K: Yeah, I had that same feeling, and I remember talking about it with you like “do we scratch this? Are we really going to keep this?” and I think it was that uncertainty of letting Taako and Lucretia do what they do, the same way we wrote Safe Way, that was scary.
E: these chucklefucks. And the moment where Lucretia dives to the bottom of the pool and, look, I try really hard to stay away from the suicidal stuff when I write Lucretia, I’m just too soft to really handle it, but I was right there in it. (which was super surreal having those feelings at work, LET ME TELL YOU) But I had to trust that “no way out but through” was going to work.
So, ok, this “How could you not do something?” hit me, personally, so hard I could hardly breathe, because duh, of course. sigh
K: So, that all started from your coke!Taako fic, The Mirror, which really stuck with me for… clearly a long time, for a lot of reasons, but I hadn’t really explored those feelings until I started writing my longfic, Another Beach Year. And in ABY, in a scene that I never finished and probably never will, Taako has a nightmare that’s actually a memory of Sizzle It Up days, where Lucretia was watching him from the crowd (as she did in The Mirror) and she sees just how messed up he is, how poorly he’s doing, and she does nothing. And I think that stuck with me even though this series isn’t necessarily in either of those continuities, and I wanted to incorporate that, because I feel that a lot of times the Taako and Lucretia conflict is boiled down to the “you made me forget my sister” thing, and that’s not the whole thing. At least for us, (ESPECIALLY for us?) it’s, “you were my best friend, and you did all that, and you knew I was doing badly, and you still didn’t do anything.” And I think Taako didn’t know how to articulate that in any way that wasn’t accusatory, but it was (and I am biased) perhaps deserved? Definitely necessary, regardless.
E: So I think what made that as difficult as it was on my end was that she felt bad about what had happened, but what she was sorry for wasn’t the thing that was hurting him the most. She thought she knew but she had no idea. I don’t even know how to articulate the dawning horror of “I’ve been sorry about the wrong thing this whole time” except I guess how I actually did? And I think of Lucretia as someone who very much wants to be able to fix things, to make a plan that comes through and improves everything, and to be hit with “this is bad and I can’t do anything about that” is a heavy hit.
K: Mmm. I think it’s hard for Taako to admit that he’s hurting at all, so when he does, it’s kind of a “well I guess while we’re doing this, I’ll get it all out” deal. And so he has all of these feelings about the forgetting, and about Lup, and about a decade being essentially a shell of himself, but what we’re bringing to the table here is this added dimension of their relationships with Magnus, and consequently their friendship with each other. So I think it’s almost easy to lose sight of what exactly he’s hurting about and default to the Lup stuff (and, wow, yeah, there’s so much more there that in True Taako Fashion, even I am avoiding) but fixing the Lup stuff still won’t fix the Lucretia stuff, because he has his memories back. It’s not the forgetting that’s hurting him now, it’s the betrayal.
E: “it’s hard for Taako to admit” — so this. At one point, I was questioning whether he really would have pruney fingers (from the pool) because the amount of actual dialogue wasn’t long enough, and one of the curious things about this whole thing is how much goes unspoken. They take soooo much time to say honestly the briefest things. It’s tremendously frustrating, on some level, because god just say a thing already but it’s also artistically satisfying because it feels true to them, that they dance around their feelings until something just breaks. Usually because I have Lucretia just blurt out some godawful thing. (There’s a bit in the WIP where it’s WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT, but I just feel it.) Of course Lucretia would ask if he’s talked to Lup, and then instantly regret having asked.
K: Oh no girl she didn’t ask, she just abruptly said “I’m sorry about Lup,” which is maybe? Possibly? The worst thing she could have done in that moment. Which makes for good radio but not a good emotional state LOL.
E: Ha, I was thinking about the bit later.
K: YEAH. TWICE. OK LUCRETIA. I think it really does attest to how much she wants to fix things, and all her good intentions, but she can’t do it her way. That way doesn’t work with Taako… They’re the same in that they can’t handle being blindsided with feelings, but that doesn’t stop either of them from doing it to each other? And that’s why these conversations keep happening with the intensity that they do, is they have such a hard time navigating those feelings in the first place. To which we just say, at this point: these chucklefucks.
E: With so much love, but yeah. I can’t believe we thought this one was going to be more lighthearted. Because they were less defensive, maybe? Safe Way they were both on guard because it was a planned encounter, but this was accidental.
K: And they were getting along. For pages, it was like, wow, fuck, this feels good, they’re chatting? Laughing? Together? And then it was, (and wow this is a theme, huh?) talking about family, and ultimately Angus, that caused this whole… thing.
E: There’s so much I have to say about Angus in [redacted], because I’ve fallen headlong into the idea that out of all the adults in his life, Lucretia and Taako are the most parental. But even here, he’s almost a proxy for all this other stuff that’s hanging between them. The theft of the silverware ends up being about what Taako is like on his own, and how Lucretia made her friends into her employees. Angus as a kid on his own is both a thing that Lucretia feels guilty about and a reminder to Taako of his own childhood, and being a kid with Lup.
K: And that was something that I really only scratched the surface of here, because I think that feeling runs deep for Taako. And I think it’s not only why Taako winds up as the parental figure that he is in our timeline, but it’s also why he is so insistent on doing what he can to give Ango a normal life, or to somehow make up for the time Ango spent “alone,” so to speak. It’s hard to articulate, but Taako definitely feels a kinship with Ango in that way, and I think he is projecting some of his own feelings about his own hardships of childhood onto Lucretia? In the way that he blames her for… kind of many things lol. It’s something I want to explore separately later on, for sure.
E: Something that I’m noticing on re-read is that they have this common thread of “you’re the only person I can tell how shitty I know I am” — that might not be exactly it, but something in that neighborhood. That they look at themselves and think “I’m not a good person,” and everybody else is yeah yeah whatever, but they can say it to each other. Which is kinda fucked up, but interesting.
K: YES. I think for Taako it’s mostly “I can say I’m a shitty person to you because there’s very little shit that I could do that’s worse than what you did to me!” Which, yeah, fucked up and interesting lol. And for Lucretia, probably “You already know I’m a shitty person and are the first to tell me so, so I’ll say it anyway”?
E: I don’t think she means it to be calculated, but there’s definitely an aspect of “I’ll admit to it before you accuse me” on her part. I also sometimes see a bit of “you helped make me this shitty” from Taako. And for both of them, they feel like they’re comparing themselves to the people they see as whole-heartedly good, ie Magnus and Lup. (Having this set in Magnus’s yard turned out to be a hell of a thing.)
K: Yeah, I think Taako is a bit more calculated about it, but also I think he’s always been quicker to admit that he’s not really good. (Justin saying “Taako’s not a good person, though, Taako’s not a good person,” on air was like. A LOT to take in. But also, my qualms with Justin’s Canon are well known lol.) I don’t think Taako’s a bad person. I think I summed it up nicely through Kravitz in The Way We Really Are, where he basically says “we’re not good, we’re not bad, we just are.” I think Taako really needed to hear that, especially considering he is Constantly Comparing Himself to everyone else around him, and he honestly believes everyone around him is just… Good. Capital G Good. It’s hard not to compare yourself to your twin.
E: They both have this comparison thing that WOW do I relate to, and actually that circles all the way around back to the thing that was such a difficult editing experience: Trust or Forsake. It was sort of a sideways swerve in the conversation, but it’s such a good metaphor. That they’re both good at calculating the odds and thinking in a very pragmatic way, but then experience the feelings backlash later. They’re both coping with the “rush of shame”, as you put it.
K: I was about to say, I always seem to gravitate back to the robot world, with Taako’s “Am I the only pragmatist here?” and how that was the only time we ever saw him actively disagreeing with Lup. The fact that he was almost angry with her there really stuck with me, and subsequently how he conceded after and promised (with the rest of the team) not to get “scary” like that again. It stick with me, and because of that, it sticks with Taako. I think he feels guilty for a lot of stuff that he knows had to be done. And for that reason, he and Lucretia have a lot in common.
E: That’s one of the core theses of our work together, this commonality. And it’s always such a visceral pleasure to play on that in the interior monologue. Maybe most of all in the new things/good things bit? (Bringing in Kravitz always makes me cry.)
K: Any excuse to bring in Krav. And it was really nice for me to tie him in with a callback to one of your pieces (which you gifted to me!) that was also mentioned in Safe Way. We’ve done a lot of talking outside of our works about how the seven, but particularly Taako and Lucretia, didn’t wind up with the lives they expected, but they wound up with something new and good, and I think that’s a big part of how Taako arrives at his conclusion of “we can’t fix this but we can build something new, maybe.” He knows the power of these new good things, and perhaps the Newest and the Best thing is Kravitz.
E: As I’m thinking about this, and rereading that part in particular, I’m actually reminded of some personal conversations that we’ve had, and this conclusion that they get to resonates: there’s a lot of Bad Shit in the past, and we’re/they’re kind of broken, but there’s enough good now to keep going. Which is a pretty …….. weird? conclusion to end up at, but for me personally it’s oddly hopeful. That it’s better to keep trying than to give up.
K: For sure. I think part of what attracts me to Taako as a character is that he’s the embodiment of the “third option.” Like, no matter how much shit is absolutely fucked, he finds some way to break the game and get the hell out of dodge (and sometimes save the day. But only sometimes.) And I think despite the fact that he struggles so much afterwards (and… basically all of that is my own doing bc lol projecting on fic) he still manages to find a lot of good. It reminds me of a thing you tagged me in that said something like “you don’t have to be hopeful about the future, you just have to be curious enough about what could happen if you stick around” which really rang true for me personally. And for Taako, I think it’s almost a matter of “well, my life was buckwild enough so far, might as well see it through.” (The ravishing boyfriend is a plus, tho.)
E: And honestly, Kravitz’s presence in Taako’s life is something that Lucretia cherishes as well, not that she can take credit for it, obviously, but seeing him happy makes her feel a little better about how everything went down.
K: Absolutely, and I think that gratitude comes through in some small moments in both of our individual works, as early as To New Beginnings which I wrote in October (!) and perhaps even before that? But I feel like there’s this unspoken understanding, almost, between Kravitz and Lucretia (which also came through in Copper for Your Thoughts, in a way) that I think comes with the territory of being the wise characters they are, always laden with such gravitas lol.
E: To zag on you: THE TEA? (which, actually, I’ve never had rose tea, I don’t think? But you made it a Lucretia thing in To New Beginnings at least, and it crossed over into this continuity.) This is another “third option” that changed the whole thing, and I love it.
K: Hah, I never even thought about the symbolic “third option” for tea. (There’s a lot of threes with these three, lol.) Rose tea tastes how roses smell, and it’s weird, but I’m kind of into it? It just always felt like a Lucretia thing to me. BUT YEAH THE TEA, I was having him transmute the juice into tea and I was gonna have him make rose tea, but he already did that in Safe Way, so I was sitting there musing for a minute and thought, oh, what if they had Magnus’s tea? (Oolong, if you’re playing along at home.) And then it hit me: oh, I don’t even know what kind of tea Taako drinks, because he’s always making two cups of whatever the other person wants, which I then raised to you outside of the doc, which then we were both just kinda like “oh… fuck… that’s a thing now” lol.
But I do want to go a little deeper into that, bc I think about it a lot, how Taako isn’t good at saying how he feels. This is known. And that’s another aspect that draws me to him, because wow, fucking same. I used to have quite a knack for naming my emotions, and then somewhere along the line I kind of lost that. And it’s not just about the negative. It’s absolutely a Thing to have a hard time showing people how you feel positively. And I think a lot about that in my own life and have done musing on “love languages” and all that jazz and I think for Taako, he does that in really subtle ways. Doing little things that he almost hopes people won’t even notice. He doesn’t want that “aw that’s so sweet” reaction. He just wants to make that person feel good and move on— which is quite different from the showboating Taako from TV. It’s an interesting contradiction that was so nice to be able to explore so naturally here. Lucretia’s spent a century with him and it hits her all at once that she’s never had the tea he likes, because he’s always taking part in hers. It’s so meaningful and says so much about him. (And maybe he’s not as Bad as he thinks.)
E: And she absolutely notices, first with the mugs — which AAAAAAAAAH the Moon’s Best Director mug, please — because it’s such a little detail that shows that he’s paying attention to her and to her relationship with Magnus, and then the tea and what that means. Again: trust. That she’s going to not try to protect herself or hide from him, she’s going to trust that she can be open and let what happens happen. Ok, I also have to say, we haven’t talked much about the actual process of writing, but the part where Taako says he’s sorry, I read that in the grocery store and then I just wandered the aisles in a daze for like 10 minutes trying to even figure out her response. (In the vein of “leaning into the feeling”, that sound that might’ve been oh or no was literally me in the frozen food aisle.) But they pull back from that brink so quickly! And I think what we’re both noticing in really digging into this again is how actually unresolved it is.
K: I am a big fan of Observant Taako, who cares very deeply but won’t admit it. Even if he’s not in a good place with Lucretia, I think at this point he’s moved forward for his own sake and everyone else’s sake enough that he can appreciate that she makes Magnus happy, and at least that much they will always have in common.
But um, yeah, that apology. It’s loaded, and it’s (appropriately) multi-dimensional. I had Taako feeling sorry during Safe Way, and not understanding why, and not being able to say it. And so here, he feels it again, and he’s ready to say it, but he still doesn’t know why. And it partially comes from a personal place, but it also comes from a lack of emotional literacy when Taako is taking stock of his own feelings? It’s a complicated apology that (you pointed this out, really) he thinks is surface-level for the emotional distress this conversation caused (re: “you spooked me” etc) but in reality it’s more than that. But the rest might be [redacted] here bc I’d like to explore that more in later installments. But yeah, the way they wrap up is… more unresolved than I ever realized? Like reading this back, they didn’t talk about half the shit they brought up, they kind of just threw it out into the arena. Which, for Taako, is more of a “well nothing else is gonna budge til I talk to Lup” thing.
E: In a way, it’s good to see how everything is still so half-formed, because it resonates so nicely as we get into [redacted]. It makes some of the interpersonal weirdness? unevenness? that comes out make actually a lot more sense. Also, if I may say it again for the Nth time: THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS.
#taz fic#my fic#writing about writing#actual tag: these chucklefucks#fwiw writing this influenced a scene we just worked on#so yay us?
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Why I don’t have a beta reader and don’t edit for shit
I’ve been asked this a number of times over the years so I’m gonna discuss why I no longer take beta readers on my works.
1. Timing
It takes me a long while to type up a chapter for a fic. Mental Illness TM and just Life TM in general like to kick my ass so the actual “me sitting down and actually working on ff” is a kinda small timeframe. It can take up to a month or a month and a half to actually finish a chapter. Then I would have to send it off to a beta, who could take up to three months or more to get it done.
Almost every beta I have had took forever to actually finish editing my chapters. And yes, I do have long chapters. Not gonna lie. But if it takes someone three months to fix typos in a 5,000 word long chapter... that’s way too long.
2. They drop off the face of the Earth
Almost all the betas I’ve had (if not all of them) just... stopped. Didn’t ever get back to me with a completed chapter, never messaged me back. They just. Kinda stopped. And I could never get ahold of them again. And it’s frustrating as all hell. Of course, I’m not paying anyone to edit my shit. The fact that someone wants to volunteer is amazing in and of itself and I am very thankful for that fact. And I totally understand life getting in the way. But... at least tell me you can’t anymore? I’m not gonna get mad. Just tell me “hey I can’t beta for you anymore/right now because of x, y, and z” and that will give me peace of mind. I mean honestly.
3. Poor betaing
I’ve had a couple of really good betas in my past, but most my betas weren’t that great. Things still were wrong. No one corrected me on awful grammar mistakes I made. Of course, no one is perfect, but if a beta chapter looks exactly the same as the un-betaed chapter and the only difference is a “there” corrected to “their” and literally nothing else... then that’s a problem. Some of the betas I’ve had stretched the truth in telling me what they are good at and that’s a problem.
4. Everything above is shit I’ve pulled
Yeah, I used to do some spotty beta work a longass time ago. I was complete shit at it! I hate editing! I really do! (which is why I almost never edit my own work lmao) I didn’t read the full chapter, exaggerated at what I was good at, and at least for one person i was attempting to beta for I just kinda. Stopped messaging them. lmao. yeah kinda assholish of me to do.
I don’t trust myself in betaing others at all, which is why I don’t beta. Because I know I fuck up.
But listen. When you tell someone on the internet that you’re gonna fucking beta for them then actually do that. If you know that things might get busy for you, don’t beta. If you don’t think you can edit a 100,000 words + fanfic, don’t fucking beta for it. If you’re just shit at editing and think you can do so because you’re 13 and got an A on that creative writing english essay your teacher gave you.... then maybe you should wait till you got more experience under your belt.
I’ve had a lot of criticism thrown my way due to my piss poor editing, like I don’t know. Guess what? I know there are a lot of typos in my shit! I know there’s a lot of mistakes! And I’ve seen this in other people’s stuff to.
Getting a beta isn’t just. Twiddling your thumbs and messaging a whole bunch of people you stumble across on ffnet. nor is it making general posts on this hellsite and hoping someone is kind enough to help you. It’s... really fucking hard to find a beta. ESPECIALLY if you’re like me and write 150,000 word longfics that have 25+ chapters that are around 5,000 words long. That shit takes a while!
Another big thing, least for me, is that I HATE editing chapter by chapter. I seriously do. In fact, a lot of advice tossed about tells you to not do that. Don’t get caught up on one chapter. Keep fucking going. Of course this applies to original stories that are probably your eyes only, but I apply that to ff as well. It’s why I barely did any editing of liaft when I wrote that (funfact: I just edited the 15th chapter) and the only reason why I edited the first 15 chapters of lial is because I thought they were awful and needed to be cleaned up/rewritten and just went ahead and edited them anyways.
Another big thing, least with my fics... I do care about them. If I didn’t I would drop them. But if someone tells me “Oh, Lanx, you typed “its” instead of “it’s” in chapter 3 of liaft on the fifth paragraph from the bottom” or smth... I don’t care enough to fix that. Bc I am super lazy. And I already edited that chapter anyways in my mind so It Is Done and I am Not Messing With It.
I write fics for fun and mainly for myself tbfh. And does it make me a bad writer to just. paste whatever I got online without editing? Maybe. But as I said before, I write because its a fun hobby. Know what I hate and find not fun? Editing. I find it to be a chore. I despise reading my own writing and I despise rereading something over and over again like that. it’s not fun, which is why I don’t edit.
Now, I’ll force myself to edit stuff when it seriously needs it. I will also edit my actual novels/novellas once I am completed with those. Because I actually do put more care into those then my ff or whatever mindless smut or random stupid drabbles I decide to post.
BUT that’s just me. I edit fics at a time, not chapters, and I am really bad at editing. Mostly because I hate my own writing and more than once I just go back and delete what I just wrote instead of actually. Editing it.
Maybe once I get more practice in w my original novels/novellas I’ll try and attempt it more in my ff (lol) and my drabbles and oneshots (lm a o) but for now, I am not really focused on that at all. I’ll edit shit either if I feel I seriously need to before a story is complete (mainly if it has huge issues, like pacing ones, not because I wrote “feel” as “fell” again or vice versa) or once it’s completed. Not before.
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