#Qiao Zhi | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

audriel · 3 months

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let's start thinkin' bout it

Qiao Yifan suddenly finds himself several years in the past. And somehow, so does Fang Rui.

Inspired by just stop thinkin' bout it by Syncogon

Special thanks to Syncogon who gives me permission to write a continuation for their wonderfully intriguing time-travel story with my favorite characters: Fang Rui and Qiao Yifan. Special mention to everyone in TKA Discord who gives me encouragement to write and publish more, and who also looks forward for more in this universe. I hope I do not disappoint. Happy Chinese New Year!

After parting ways with Qiao Yifan, Fang Rui rushes back to where Wind Howl is seated in the stadium, barely restraining himself from running straight to Lin Jingyan and drawing everyone’s attention. He can barely think of the further implications of them both back in the past, or whether they are really in their past. All he can think of is his old captain, his teacher, his friend, and the turning point with this Rookie Challenge.

Fang Rui is never one to hold a grudge. However, Tang Hao comes close. He acknowledges his strength, and has noticed him early on. How he cannot, when the younger man is also Brawler like the captain and core player of his team. He also knows better than anyone else of Lin Jingyan’s declining performance. However, he cannot really forgive Tang Hao for bringing attention to it in the Rookie Challenge and all the while dismissing Lin Jingyan’s achievements. In the case of the latter, even old Sun Xiang is better, though probably Su Mucheng will disagree. His only female captain is never one to be trifled with, she definitely can hold a grudge or two.

Fang Rui arrives right when Lin Jingyan’s name comes out from Tang Hao on the stage, and he feels the vice grip around his heart tightens.

He’s too late.

“...the junior will succeed the senior.”

The stadium is in uproar. Wind Howl is in uproar, but Fang Rui has only eyes for Lin Jingyan.

“Well, how about that? You, and now, me. It seems we’re pretty popular with the rookies.” Lin Jingyan chuckles lightly, remaining calm in front of the disrespect shown by Tang Hao. He stands up, prepared to go down, only for his wrist to be caught firmly by his vice captain.

“Fang Rui?”

Fang Rui draws a blank. Now it has come to this, and he still cannot find the words. What to say? This time, he really, really looks at his captain. This Lin Jingyan’s face is open, unguarded, without the glasses worn with his red and black Tyranny uniform. He still has hope, fleeting as it is, of the future. Fang Rui has failed as his partner to keep it alive in his last year in Wind Howl. He only regained them in Tyranny.

“...a Brawler is not a Striker,” is the first sentence that first comes to mind. Lin Jingyan blinks in surprise at the serious tone. “There’s more to Glory than speed and mechanics. Glory is not that simple.”

“Gotta play dirty huh?” Somehow his partner manages to recall the supposed reminder to himself.

“Last time I checked we’re Wind Howl, not Tyranny.” In a complete change of attitude, Fang Rui shows his disdain as he releases Lin Jingyan’s wrist.

That actually gets a laugh out of Lin Jingyan. He waves his hand, there’s lightness in his gesture, “I’ll keep it in mind.”

Fang Rui watches him leave before returning to his seat. Only Ruan Yongbin dares to lean into him.

“What do you think? Can Tang Hao win?”

“Anything can happen.” Fang Rui can sense Ruan Yongbin’s surprise. He’s surprised with his own calmness. He already does what he can. It’s all up to Lin Jingyan now.

There’s still half a season left. Even if Lin Jingyan loses again, it’s not the end. Fang Rui can still make the best of it. With his skill and experience, he can and will do better, if only to give his old captain a better ending in Wind Howl.

Fang Rui has faced off against worse odds and come up victorious. This won’t be any different.

When he turns his attention to the game, Fang Rui is greeted with a pleasant surprise: Lin Jingyan doesn’t rush forward. The older man takes his time to explore the map. Tang Hao doesn’t choose an arena, so the environment is not completely bare, which is actually advantageous to Lin Jingyan, but one he didn’t previously make full use of, thinking that he had to meet the other head-on.

This alone already sets things apart from the past he remembers. He finds himself leaning forward in interest. It might not be much, but if Tang Hao expects a quick, easy match, he’s going to be proven wrong. After all, Lin Jingyan is the half of the Criminal Partners, and dirty playing requires cunning.

Tang Hao’s Delilo fights like a Striker, reminiscent of the King of Fighters, easily making the crowd pumped up and cheering for him. However, ultimately a Brawler is not a Striker. Its strength lies in its ability to control its opponent. No one utilizes it better than the Number 1 Brawler. Lin Jingyan masterfully keeps his distance and maintains the rhythm. When he takes hits, he makes sure to leave himself a way out. When he lands his skills, he makes sure to achieve the maximum effect. His retreats are as timely as his attacks.

Lin Jingyan is not losing to Tang Hao.

For the ordinary players, it seems that Tang Hao has the upper hand, but for professional players, bold, fierce Tang Hao is struggling against calm, patient Lin Jingyan. However, in the end all it takes is for one mistake, a slight opening from Lin Jingyan, for Tang Hao to rush in and overwhelm the older Brawler player with his superior speed and mechanics.

Demon Subduer falls. Delilo is left with 9% health remaining.

Fang Rui leans back on his seat with a smile on his face, in contrast to the dismayed faces of the other Wind Howl members. Lin Jingyan loses, but this time around, with a close match instead of the overwhelming loss. It might not mean much, but it does show that Lin Jingyan fought the match with a different mindset this time around.

Lin Jingyan is the first to come down from the platform. He doesn’t lose his gentle and pleasant demeanor. Meanwhile, Tang Hao takes his time, even when finally does, he hasn’t quite managed to hide his emotions. He’s not satisfied. It’s definitely not the kind of match or victory he expected. They meet in the middle and shake hands.

“You played well…” Lin Jingyan smiles, hiding his true emotions, but surprisingly he continues, “But it’s not easy, isn’t it?”

“The junior will succeed the senior.” The change of wording reflects the change in Tang Hao’s confidence without losing the belief and persistence that is inherent in top professional players that Lin Jingyan cannot help but admire. Before the master of ceremonies could say anything, the two finish shaking hands, wave towards the audience and leave the stage. Fang Rui’s eyes never leave the figure of the Wind Howl captain, so does the smile on his face until the man returns to Wind Howl area. Fang Rui likes what he sees.

“How is it?” Fang Rui asks, not paying attention to the silent teammates around him.

“Like seeing my past self.” There’s a hint of nostalgia under the observation, but the statement is matter of fact. Lin Jingyan used to fight like Tang Hao, but he didn’t regret changing his playstyle. He believes that dirty playstyle is the reason why he can stand on the professional stage as long as he is when many of his peers didn’t, even when he’s nothing special.

“I’m pretty sure you’re much more polite and better behaved,” Fang Rui disagrees, drawing choked off sounds of surprise and amusement from their team. “And more handsome too.”

Lin Jingyan laughs. “You only said that because you’re my vice captain and partner.”

“And that he had a crush on you.” Ruan Yongbin adds, that traitor. “Oooh, Captain Lin is so handsome. He’s so close to me today. Did I impress him with the move?”

“Oh, shut up.” Fang Rui brings his yearmate and former roommate into a chokehold. He doesn’t hide the grin when he hears the snickering from the teammates. This is much better than the previous awkward silence. It’ll take more to regain their confidence in their captain. Action is louder than words after all. But it’s a challenge he’s ready to tackle.

Before that, he’ll need to sit down and talk with his little captain.

***

Qiao Yifan walks down the familiar dark passageways in a daze. He has immediately excused himself after his Rookie Challenge, not quite ready for the questioning from the former-now-current Tiny Herb captain and team members. He isn’t quite sure where he’s going, all he knows that he needs a quiet space to gather his thoughts. He has pinched himself numerous times, but he’s still not convinced everything is real. He has really returned to his younger self. He tries to recall what he did before he was back in the past, but nothing really stands out except…

Qiao Yifan finally managed to extricate himself from the teary-eyed and snot-nosed bunch with the help of Luo Ji, who was restraining his laughter. His own calm and rational vice captain and recently appointed Happy’s new captain was surprisingly not helpful, his glassy, watery eyes actually made it harder. Boss Chen was worse. If it wasn’t for Senior Wei, and Sister Mu, he was certain she would have bawled her eyes out as the last remaining members of the original Team Happy finally retired.

He remembered reminiscing with Luo Ji as they walked towards their rooms and parting with smiles when they entered their respective places. Many voices from the outside and even inside of the team said that his retirement was regrettable, especially considering what Happy has achieved under his leadership. They thought being a support, not unlike Yu Wenzhou, he could have stayed longer on the professional stage, and had his career with a more satisfying ending.

He disagreed wholeheartedly. He couldn’t ask for a better ending for himself, and… his gaze fell upon the picture of Happy in the early years. He was already 28 years old, the same age when Senior Ye retired for the second and final time… and older than the age when Sister Mu and Brother Rui retired.

He has learned from his seniors not to regret anything and to keep moving forward, to learn from the past but never let it shape the future, that the future is theirs to create. He really had no regrets, really.

But in the dark and silent room, with only himself as company, the retired Captain Qiao Yifan of Team Happy, allowed himself a rare moment of weakness… and wished.

Could it be…?

Qiao Yifan’s steps stumble into a halt, his breath catches in his throat.

However, before the thought can form, a familiar voice rings out.

“Interesting choice of challenging the master of playing dirty.”

Qiao Yifan is blinking back tears when he recognizes the figure slowly stepping out from the darkness. After his final retirement, Ye Xiu didn’t completely disappear from their lives, he always made sure to be there when they needed him the most, but he purposefully maintained his distance. He knew how much he meant for Happy. While he had made the preparations, including letting them play without him in the team competitions in the tenth season, Ye Xiu had always been a steady, reassuring presence for Happy. He was there leading them in strategy meetings, he was guiding them in their practice matches, he was there on the sidelines during games. All they needed was to turn their heads, and there he was.

All the Chinese Glory team members have gained invaluable experience from the World Invitationals. Against the strongest players around the world, they kept challenging their limits, improving themselves, until they won the ultimate Glory for the country. Their fans hoped that their favorite players would bring their team into greater heights once they returned to the domestic league. However, it was easier said than done.

The reason why they could perform their absolute best on the world stage was because they had the best teammates, tacticians and leaders to bring out their potential. It was not always the case with their original teams. In the new season, Happy was becoming not the only team that was going through a running-in period, even though they were still the worst off since they lost their core and ace player. With one exception:

Tyranny.

Tyranny became a terrifying, indomitable presence in the new season. Han Wenqing, who chose to focus on the team, has laid the groundwork and strengthened the foundation for when Zhang Xinjie and Zhang Jiale returned abroad, the adjustment was relatively smooth and seamless, all the while the veterans were still doing rotation.

And Qiao Yifan was entrusted as the commander in the team competition in their first match in the regular season against Tyranny.

It wasn’t his first time commanding in a team competition. However, in the new team arrangement, the commander was still most often either Su Mucheng or Fang Rui. The latter was actually a surprise to many. He protested vehemently, but neither the captain nor vice captain budged with their decision. Qiao Yifan felt the pressure keenly.

To no one’s surprise, Happy suffered a crushing defeat at the team competition. It could even barely be called a fight. Their only saving grace was they got points off from individual competition and group arena. It didn’t stop the reporters from descending upon them like vultures. Qiao Yifan insisted on coming to the post-match press conference, and if it hadn’t been for Fang Rui and Su Mucheng, he would’ve caved under the pressure.

They were hit hard with the loss. It has been a while since they felt so powerless. Qiao Yifan found himself looking at the places where Ye Xiu used to be, and he realized that he was not the only one. He had even been staring at Ye Xiu’s number on his phone, opening and closing the chat box. He couldn’t help thinking and wishing badly for his senior’s reassuring presence and words.

Only for the wishful thinking to be crushed immediately by their new captain and vice captain in the strategic meeting. From the beginning, it was intended as a harsh wake up call from Su Mucheng and Fang Rui, to lose their dependence on Ye Xiu.

Before, Ye Xiu has taken care of everything for them, so they didn’t need to worry about anything and only focused on themselves. It was time for them to return the favor, for them to take care of everything so he could focus on himself.

Qiao Yifan felt so ashamed and embarrassed of himself at the reminder that he really wished he could dig a deep hole and hide inside it forever, his body hunching over as if he could do so. A warm, affectionate hand messed up his hair before settling on his shoulder.

“Bad news, we’re hitting rock bottom. Good news, the only way to go is up.” Cheerful, lively voice broke through the gloom. This voice and the owner of the voice later became among the reliable constants in Happy.

He’s very clever and very adaptable. And he’s a very strong team player. There’s a lot that I would like to learn from him.

There is no single untruth in his words. Fang Rui was and is all of that and more for Qiao Yifan and for Happy.

Su Mucheng is really the captain, the leader they need after Ye Xiu, it was only a matter of time until Happy saw her no differently than Ye Xiu and proudly claimed her as their captain.

But Fang Rui… Fang Rui has been everything that they asked of him. His adaptability is not limited onstage, but also offstage. For Qiao Yifan, he is his senior, his vice captain, his teacher, his friend… and his brother.

And so, even in front of his most admired, respected and beloved captain, to whom he owed his life twice over, and the least likely to think badly of Fang Rui, Qiao Yifan will readily and staunchly defend his brother.

“Senior Fang is more than just the master of dirty playing.” The words slip out easily from his lips. Qiao Yifan cannot recall how many times he has defended Happy’s best vice captain and he will not stop doing so. “He’s the master at understanding people’s psychology and utilizing them to make opportunities. And as a Ghostblade, especially a Phantom Demon whose skills need casting, he’s the best I can learn from.”

Ye Xiu shows a surprised, but pleased smile. Dirty playing is looked down on by most, particularly by the younger generation. And yet one of them actually sees the value in the playstyle and is willing to learn and use them for themselves. It makes him look forward to the future of this young man. He already had a good impression of Qiao Yifan with his courage to switch classes and his willingness to learn, and now he also displays wisdom and maturity rarely seen in younger players.

Most of them are unable to understand the reason why such a disdainful playstyle can be so difficult, so oppressive. It’s only possible due to Fang Rui’s masterful grasp of his opponent’s psychology. Simple, straightforward rookies are the easiest for him. For Qiao Yifan to be able to see the value of Fang Rui’s dirty playing and go toe-to-toe with him in the Rookie Challenge sets him apart from other rookies.

“Indeed. Excellent choice.” Qiao Yifan couldn’t help the pleased flush at the acknowledgement for himself and Fang Rui. Ye Xiu continues, “It’s impressive how you’re able to deal with Fang Rui’s dirty playing tactics. Rookies tend to have difficulty going against him.”

Except Happy rookies, that is. Qiao Yifan silently adds. They are fortunate not to have experienced Fang Rui as an opponent onstage. By the time they got to know Fang Rui, it was as the senior pro player in the middle of the pains of changing classes. They even had their turn in beating up his Qi Master. Then once after he reclaimed his title as god, he was their vice captain and teammate first. He will not treat them as an opponent and neither will they, not like Zhao Yuzhe.

“Ah, I suppose I’ve been watching his videos as much as Senior Li.” That’s not exactly a lie, at least not in his previous life.

“Too bad Fang Rui never faced Li Xuan. It’ll be an interesting study for me and you both.”

“I’ve thought so too.” Qiao Yifan agrees wholeheartedly. Wu Yuce is the Ghostblade that most often ends up as Fang Rui’s opponent, especially as a Thief. Though after transforming into Qi Master and becoming Happy’s defending general, Fang Rui has encountered all the core players at least once, including Li Xuan. It has been such an eye-opening match for Qiao Yifan in particular, who looks up to them both. It inspired his breakthrough.

Then Qiao Yifan realizes he shouldn’t have recognized the reclusive god and chatted so casually like this. “Um, Senior… Do I know you? Your voice sounds familiar…”

“What do you think, Little Qiao?”

“God Ye Qiu!” Qiao Yifan nearly bites his tongue, barely avoiding the mistake of calling the Glory legend by his real name. “Why is Senior here?”

“Sightseeing. Getting a feel of being an audience.” Ye Xiu shrugs nonchalantly. Qiao Yifan has to push down the amusement at such Ye Xiu-like answer, but at the same time is at loss what else he can say to his senior. While the rest of his memories around this time are hazy, the memory of his first face-to-face meeting with Ye Xiu is one of the most clear and vivid, and he’s not sure how to bring it up when they barely know each other. Qiao Yifan’s grown a lot since he met Ye Xiu and he has become a captain and a god-level player in his own right, but in front of his most respected and admired seniors, he always feels like he was back as the young, inexperienced junior.

“What is it, Little Qiao?” Ye Xiu breaks his conundrum with ease, noticing the little Phantom Demon player struggling with something.

“...Is it really okay?” Qiao Yifan blurts out what first comes to mind. He clarifies at the confused blink from Ye Xiu, “Being an audience.”

Nothing changes in his expression, but somehow Qiao Yifan feels like Ye Xiu is truly, truly looking at him, like an all-seeing god looking from above. Instinctively he draws himself up, not wanting to be found lacking. When Ye Xiu smiles, Qiao Yifan finds himself released from the pressure.

“Of course not. Even though I’m a bit old, I’m not done yet!”

“You’re going to come back?” Qiao Yifan barely keeps his excitement in check.

“All I need is an opportunity. Just like you’re looking for yours. Keep up the good work, Little Qiao.” Ye Xiu says as he turns around. He waves his hands at Qiao Yifan and slips away into the darkness.

“...Yes, Senior!”

Once Ye Xiu leaves, Qiao Yifan unconsciously stands tall, his eyes bright and determined in the darkness. It is no longer young, inexperienced Qiao Yifan standing there, instead it is Captain Qiao Yifan of Team Happy.

“I’ll create that opportunity for you, Captain.”

It’s a promise.

Fang Rui walks out from the hotel room he’s staying in with Lin Jingyan with an easy heart. In the previous life, in the future-past, in the past-future, or whatever, the silence was oppressive, the conversation was awkward and stilted between them. For once, words eluded Fang Rui. He could never hate himself as much as he did back then.

***

This time around Fang Rui doesn’t really need to say anything, Lin Jingyan takes all the words that can be said from his own mouth. He has been the one to bring up his own declining condition and his determination to bring Wind Howl to the playoffs. All Fang Rui needs to do is give his whole support and help in whatever way he can. He might need to brush up his skills again and get used to high-intensity matches after such a peaceful retirement life, but he’s confident with his much younger body it’s only a matter of time. Unconsciously he raises and flexes his left hand.

However, what he can offer now is the invaluable experience from high-level matches, both domestic and abroad. He’s no master tactician, but spending much of his time around the master tacticians of old and new, two of whom are his captains, Fang Rui learns more than a thing or two. Though it’ll be harder to explain, especially to Lin Jingyan who knows him so well. Well, that’s a worry for another day. Let’s just take one step at a time.

Fang Rui puts on a beanie over his short hair and non-prescription glasses as he goes to the milk tea shop that Happy often frequents during their visits to Shanghai as their meeting place. It doesn’t take him long to find Qiao Yifan in the relatively deserted shop. Being the transparent Tiny Herb player, he doesn’t really need any disguises. Though honestly, Fang Rui would recognize him anywhere, disguise or no disguise.

Seeing his serious expression, Fang Rui silences his steps as he approaches the younger man who is busy writing on the table. Sneakily, not unlike Doubtful Demon and Boundless Sea in his hands, he stands behind the oblivious Qiao Yifan.

“Boo!” Fang Rui whispers close to his ear.

“Ah!” Qiao Yifan jumps in surprise, the pen slips from his fingers. Fang Rui, expecting the reaction, quickly catches it from the air. “Brother Rui!” His little captain scolds him, but Fang Rui cannot maintain a straight face, he bursts into laughter instead.

It’s been a while he’s seen his little captain so young and chubby-cheeked. He cannot resist pinching those cheeks. Being too preoccupied with his time travel or whatever this is, only now he notices how adorable young Qiao Yifan is.

“Can you stop pinching my cheeks?” It might be because he returns into his younger body, Qiao Yifan’s protests are more like a petulant teenager’s, and thanks to professional hand speed, this time it is the hair that’s gotten ruffled.

“Your fault for being so cute and adorable.” Fang Rui being Fang Rui, he’s not apologetic. If anything, he’s very satisfied having pinched those soft cheeks and ruffled the still-relatively-long and boyish haircut. Fang Rui plops down on the empty seat across Qiao Yifan, picking up the drink placed on the table, unsurprised that it is exactly as he likes it.

“So, what you’ve got so far in that notebook of yours, Little Captain?” Fang Rui asks as he chews the boba with a sense of nostalgia. Chinese milk tea is sure different, he mulls absently as he glances at the notebook, a habit Qiao Yifan picks up from Yu Wenzhou.

“I think… It’s my fault?”

“How do you come to that conclusion?” Fang Rui gives him an incredulous look, “Last time I checked you didn’t have supernatural power to send us back to the past.”

“Um.” Qiao Yifan rubs his nose, an all too familiar gesture of discomfort and vulnerability. He’s grown out of that habit slowly as he took over captaincy, but it has the tendency to show up under tremendous stress or complete unpreparedness, which this time travel situation certainly counts as both.

“Start from the beginning.” Those familiar words ground Qiao Yifan, he finds himself calming down easily when he has actually been stressing himself out while waiting for Fang Rui. Those words and the person have helped him many times when he overthinks things, getting him out of the spiral he’s fallen into and finding the right words and action. He breathes in, and starts with a question.

“What did you remember last?” Before jumping to conclusion, Qiao Yifan needs to make sure of a few things first. Fang Rui tries to recall what he was doing. He really hasn’t thought about it.

“Hmm… I was at the airport, texting Old Ye on the phone.” Qiao Yifan blinks in surprise at the unexpected answer. “Our Yifan is retiring. Of course we’ll be coming to celebrate in person.”

Qiao Yifan gets choked up. Several times he tries to speak only to stop.

“We’ve been so busy that we barely visited or kept in touch. Old Ye is even worse, considering he’s based on China. So I just decided to hell with it when I saw your press conference to go back and force that irresponsible guy to pick me up and visit the team together. You know how bad he is at taking initiative. I also managed to get Little Tang on it.”

“Sister Rou too?” Qiao Yifan laughs in disbelief.

“She’s not as bad as us, but it’s been a while for her too. And she’s in Beijing, so she’s the best person in case Old Ye needs to be strong armed.”

“Oh.” Qiao Yifan’s heart feels so full that he’s at a loss of words.

Fang Rui can only feel sad and regretful to see how happy and bright the younger man’s expression is. Qiao Yifan has always been a kind and considerate child. He might have wanted to see them more, but he wouldn’t say anything and be understanding when the older members of Team Happy cannot keep in touch regularly. He might have thought that his retirement is not important enough for him to ask for them to come and visit. Somehow, Fang Rui has a feeling that their current situation is not unrelated.

“We had a small party after the press conference back in Forest Park. It was late after I returned to the room. I…” Qiao Yifan pauses, glancing at Fang Rui. Encouraged by the quiet and patient understanding, he continues.

“Everyone keeps asking why I am retiring when I could have played longer, that I’d come to regret it… I don’t, I’m really sure I won’t.” Qiao Yifan speaks animatedly, as if he’s trying to convince Fang Rui, when the older man is the last person he needs to convince. “I just think it’s time, the team can and will do well without me.”

“...but?” Fang Rui gently nudges Qiao Yifan.

“I do have one regret, one wish,” Qiao Yifan finally speaks out. His voice trembled, betraying his nervousness.

“I wish I had more time.” As if losing his courage, Qiao Yifan ducks his head down.

Fang Rui looks at the bowed head, his eyes soften in understanding. Qiao Yifan doesn’t need to say more, he understands very well. Quite possibly what he feels is the shared feelings among the early members of Team Happy, many of them either started late or only had a few years left in the professional stage.

Being the youngest, Qiao Yifan is among the last of the original members of Happy to remain in the team. Having been there himself, he remembers how it felt like being left behind, abandoned even when it was simply a natural course of life. That feeling was gone as soon as it appeared, reason quickly kicking in. Although the feeling would come at his weakest moments, he’s learned to deal with it.

However, it must be harder for Qiao Yifan, knowing his circumstances. For him, Happy is the only home he has. Having them leave one by one must not be easy. That was why he chose to stay for another year when Qiao Yifan made the plea before he was about to announce his retirement after the finals in the Golden Season, or what Season 13 was known as with many of the Golden Generation giving their best, most dazzling performance, like a burning star at the end of its life.

Fang Rui was no different, having changed classes and reclaimed his old class alongside his new one, led Happy through the most difficult time in the wake of Ye Xiu’s retirement and competed in domestic and international league year after year, he was burned out, like Su Mucheng and Ye Xiu before him.

By then, Happy’s rookies were no longer rookies, they were gods in the making, if not already, he would be only a hindrance for them. He didn’t need another championship. He wanted more, of course he did, he would never lose his desire and pursuit of victory, but his definition of victory is and has never been limited to all the trophies and awards. What he also considers as a victory is when the team he has come to love and cherish, to grow and flourish, to surpass their predecessors and stand in their own glory.

Team Happy lost in the finals, but Fang Rui had seen a glimpse of the future, a shining, glorious future… and he didn’t see himself in that future. He was actually happy at the realization, barely suppressing his smile when he saw the frustrated faces on his team. He already made up his mind back then, only for one sentence from one person to change it.

“Can you not go?”

The words didn’t come from the youngest member of the team. They didn’t come from the successor he intended to take over Boundless Sea. They didn’t come from their soft-hearted boss. Instead it came from the strong, reliable captain of Happy.

Fang Rui’s heart broke for this young man. At that moment, he looked like a lost child.

“Okay.” He made the concession. He had only eyes for his little captain, but he didn’t fail to notice how everyone in the room perked up, including their lady boss. “However, I will mainly stay on the bench. You’re going to carry me to the finals. I’m expecting another Championship for my retirement.”

And he did.

Happy did it.

Happy matched the old Excellent Era’s record. Fang Rui and the remaining members of the original team are the first to have three championship rings in the domestic league, second only to Ye Xiu who have four of them, beating Zhou Zekai of his generation and the Golden Generation. Happy also made their own record being the only team that have won both domestic and international league.

Team Happy had converged around him when they won the finals of Season 14. His bold, daring little Captain dared to put their oldest senior who didn’t play as frequently as before in the all important match of the finals and of course, Fang Rui didn’t fail to live up to his captain’s expectation. He had made sure to do so since Ye Xiu picked him of all people to be Happy’s Qi Master. It was a beautiful sendoff, a perfect ending that he could ask for. He wasn’t oblivious to realize that Happy had managed to send away every single of their senior members of the original team with a championship. He was, is and always will be proud of them, the team that they are, and the captain that Qiao Yifan is.

Fang Rui places his hand on Qiao Yifan’s head gently.

“Then we will have more time.”

“That’s it?” So surprised with his response, Qiao Yifan dislodges Fang Rui’s hand at the speed he cranes his neck.

“Eh. We can try to sleep tonight and if we go back to our timeline, then have a good laugh and celebrate your retirement with all Team Happy members. Or…

“We don’t, and make sure we’ll have more time this time around.” Fang Rui states simply.

“It can’t be that simple.” Qiao Yifan frowns.

“It can.”

“It can’t.”

“Why not?”

“W-Well, there might be conditions?” Qiao Yifan offers. “Of going back, I mean.”

“So? How will we discover that unless we keep going? Or changing things up?”

“Should we even change things?” Qiao Yifan asks. He isn’t sure what he’s feeling, one side he’s afraid, terrified even. But on the other side, he’s excited, eager to change the future.

“Eh,” Fang Rui merely shrugs. Qiao Yifan can only laugh at the nonchalance. It’s so Fang Rui. It’s so like his senior to make light of the absurd situation, which to be fair, Happy is a team that often encounters absurd situations, their own existence is one. The reminder actually brings a smile to Qiao Yifan’s face. His cautious nature can be detrimental at times if it goes unchecked. He’s learned to let go and take risks in the years in Happy, but in this current situation, when his actions could have changed things, could have made him lose everything precious to him, he was unwilling to do so.

“We’ll just keep things simple. We set a goal for ourselves, and deal with others as they come.”

“Happy.�� They say it at the same time, which brings a huge relief to Qiao Yifan. He knows how important Lin Jingyan and Wind Howl are for Fang Rui, and considering what happened to them, he has wondered if Fang Rui wishes to do more for them and stay until his contract expires instead of transferring. Reading his mind, Fang Rui chuckles.

“Happy is home.” And Fang Rui meant it.

He’s met many people, have been in different teams and workplaces, but Happy is the only place that feels like home besides his own. It doesn’t occur to him not to join Happy. If anything, he’d love to join earlier, and take part in the creation of the team.

“Wait… has Team Happy been created?” The thought only occurs to him.

“Oh. Not yet. It should be tomorrow.” Qiao Yifan looks at the rough timeline he has written in the notebook. Fang Rui leans forward to take a peek.

“...the Dragon Raises its Head?” Fang Rui can only recall that incident from this year’s All Stars.

“Because of that, Boss Chen figured out Senior’s true identity and decided to create the team to support him.” Qiao Yifan himself only knows their beloved boss’ retelling.

“That really sounds like Boss Chen, alright.” Fang Rui smiles fondly at their lady boss and big sister. “So the team only had Old Ye and Little Tang?”

“Senior didn’t ask me to join until I told him my contract with Tiny Herb expired.”

“Hmm, by then Steamed Bun and Old Wei have already joined.”

“Brother An, Luo Ji and Mo Fan joined around the registration period.”

“Old Ye really worked hard…” Fang Rui has heard the stories. Something else nags on him, though. “...Yifan, you wished for more time right?”

“Yes?”

“Did you think of anything specific when you wished for that? Because, usually in typical time-travel/regressor/reincarnation/isekai stories, it’s usually only the protagonist who comes back in time. Why am I too? Am I even the only one?”

“No, Senior Ye didn’t come back.” Recalling their earlier exchange, Qiao Yifan is sure of it. “I did think of you first when I suddenly found myself back in All Stars Season 8 Rookie Challenge, in the middle of the stadium floor, microphone in hand.”

“That must be nerve wracking.” Fang Rui raises his eyebrows in surprise. “But really? Of all people, me? Not Mucheng? Or Wenzhou?” He merely teases Qiao Yifan. He isn’t really surprised that in Qiao Yifan’s panic and confusion, he picked the one he’s spent the most time with, his old vice captain. He doesn’t really expect a response. However, looking at his expression, there might be another reason. It is brief, but Fang Rui has always been good at catching the slightest change and he thinks he can make a guess.

Fang Rui lays down his left arm on the table, turning his hand palm up.

“I’ve suspected that you knew.” Fang Rui smiles kindly, but it only makes Qiao Yifan upset. Knowing it is one thing, acknowledging it is another. Right now there’s only smooth skin, but in their past-future, there was a faint scar, a thin line across Fang Rui’s wrist, which was often covered with bracelets and wristbands.

Qiao Yifan was only aware of it when Mo Fan came to him. He has noticed and wondered about the change of Fang Rui’s playstyle. It was not really obvious, even for those who were familiar with him. Only when Qiao Yifan paid attention to his hand speed and rhythm, he realized that Fang Rui had slowed down. Everyone hardly noticed because of the nature of the dirty playstyle, and later on, because of the rising skill level of Happy individual members.

Regardless, Fang Rui remained an indispensable member of Happy and the national team. His flexible playstyle and high adaptability, not to mention his casual and playful nature, made him compatible with many players and strategies that he was more often than not master tacticians’ first choice. Qiao Yifan was not so naive to think that it wouldn’t impact Fang Rui’s condition, so he didn’t think much in the beginning. He was actually relieved that his vice captain took the steps to prolong his career lifespan. While his speed might decline, his performance did not. It didn’t cross his mind that Fang Rui’s condition had reached the point that he needed surgery.

Qiao Yifan was hit hard with the discovery. He had been angry at Fang Rui, at Mo Fan, but most of all, at himself for failing to notice that his vice captain had been injured so badly. He understood very well why Fang Rui did it, so he swallowed all the hurt and anger and channeled them into winning the championship, fearing the season would be his senior’s last. He wanted to prove that Happy was worth all the painstaking effort Fang Rui put in. Only to have his hopes shattered when Happy lost to Blue Rain in the finals, and Fang Rui announced his retirement to the team before the press conference.

He hadn’t wanted to be selfish. He really couldn’t ask Fang Rui to stay when he has given everything and more to Happy. He shouldn’t have asked him to stay.

But he asked anyway.

He was prepared for the refusal, he could even imagine the gentle and kind words. He didn’t expect the concession. Fang Rui only agreed for another year, but it meant the world for Qiao Yifan.

Looking at the person in front of him, Qiao Yifan knows very well why it was Fang Rui of all people who was brought back to the past with him. But he cannot find the words.

“Well, I’m definitely not turning down the chance to do everything again. Even though it’s going to be a hassle to adapt to what… Level 70 skills?” The stinky face Fang Rui made elicits laughter from Qiao Yifan.

Fang Rui never fails to find a way to lighten up the atmosphere. It’s also his subtle reminder that he has their back, that he understands even when there are no words between them.

“Damn. It looks like I’ve got a lot of work to do. It’s no different than having a new team, a new account, and a new class.” Fang Rui is already having a headache at the mere thought. He does miss the Glory competitive days, but he can do without the daily training.

“...I’m sorry.” Qiao Yifan winces, he hasn’t thought that far. He might be just a “water dispenser” in Tiny Herb but Fang Rui definitely isn’t. He has tried to take account of everything but the memories are hazy the further to the past they are, and he was limited to his own knowledge of the events. Qiao Yifan was only recently retired so he would have less difficulty in getting back into the competition mindset. Fang Rui waves his hand, knowing it cannot be helped.

“I’ve got a week until the next match. I’m going to need help to get into shape and find a somewhat believable explanation for the sudden changes in playstyle. Old Lin is sure to notice. You also need to be careful. Wang Jiexi might not realize any changes in you, but Old Ye certainly will.”

“Um… I think it’s a bit too late.” Qiao Yifan speaks out, showing the message Gao Yingjie sent to him earlier, telling him that the captain wanted to see him when he returned to the hotel.

“Well, shit.” That pretty much summed up their current situation.

“Okay, change of plans. Let’s start with how you’re going to deal with good ol’ Wang, then we do the rest.”

“I should not call him Captain Wang then.” Qiao Yifan mulls over.

“Definitely not.” Why would a member of their own team call their own captain by their last name? “Don’t let slip and start calling him Big-Eyed Wang, either.”

“I’ve never-” Qiao Yifan coughs and splutters.

“Really?” Fang Rui raises an eyebrow.

Cunning and resourceful.

Those two words describe Happy best. They can be said to be the words Happy team members live by. They lay down the foundation of Happy’s individual and team playstyle.

While Qiao Yifan remains polite and respectful as he comes to be Happy’s captain, which makes him a favorite among Happy team members of old and new, particularly for the reporters, he is still Happy’s captain who has received guidance and learned from Ye Xiu, Wei Chen and Fang Rui. He doesn’t often resort to dirty play enough to be considered a dirty player and doesn't often engage in trash talk to provoke others that people often forget. So at the most unexpected times, Qiao Yifan will pull an incredibly dirty play or a provocative sentence that is so unlike the calm and stable captain that opponents never fail to fall for it.

Qiao Yifan definitely has called Wang Jiexi “Big-Eyed Wang” at least once. It doesn’t even matter if he never did it to his face.

“Careful. Don’t show your black heart yet, Little Captain.” Fang Rui teases Qiao Yifan, his eyes twinkling with mirth. This time Qiao Yifan genuinely and freely laughs.

“Says the person who taught us how to pull unexpected plays.” Being the longest-serving senior in the team, Fang Rui left his mark the most on Happy team members. His dirty playstyle shows up even in the aggressive Tang Rou, upright An Wenyi, and even textbook Luo Ji.

“That means I’m a good teacher, no?” Fang Rui considers that as his greatest achievement. Qiao Yifan doesn’t disagree, giggling at his senior’s proud face.

There’s so much work to do. There are so many familiar people, accounts, teams that they need to get to know again. There are their own younger bodies with their older selves; faster speed and reflexes but in discordance with their experienced minds. There are so many things to unlearn and relearn. There are events that cannot, should not be changed, and they do not know which events they are and which actions they are allowed to take.

When he was standing on the stage, as his mind kept thinking of all the ripple effects he might be causing, Qiao Yifan was absolutely frightened, and felt very lonely. However, right here right now, with his most reliable vice captain and senior…

Qiao Yifan no longer feels afraid.

Aaand.... That's a wrap! Well, not quite so. This can be taken as a one-shot, but is also open for more time-travel shenanigans. I have some ideas of the changes in the new timeline. Some ideas are easier to flesh out, while others require some research. If you have any comments or suggestions, please do so! It might help with the writing of future chapters. Thank you for reading!

#fanfiction #fanfic #quan zhi gao shou #the king's avatar #qzgs #tka #fang rui #ao3 #qiao yifan #time travel au #let's start thinkin' bout it

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audriel · 19 days

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let's start thinkin' bout it

chapter 2: lingering wounds

Some wounds need to bleed before they can heal. Otherwise, they linger.

Qiao Yifan finds himself standing in front of the door to the room of Wang Jiexi–his current captain, he reminds himself again. While he has learned to be thick-skinned, Qiao Yifan is still an honest person and acting doesn’t come to him naturally. He cannot pretend to be someone he’s not. His current, older self is so much different than his younger self. His younger self might be a transparent Tiny Herb reserve player, but as his team captain, Wang Jiexi still has enough measure of his character and strength.

Fang Rui has asked him if it was difficult to recall the memories, the feelings might be easier to recover in order to help him to be in the proper mindset of 18-year-old Qiao Yifan. He knew his hesitation showed, so he quickly assured Fang Rui he could do it. His senior didn’t buy it and suggested a script instead, but again, Qiao Yifan was no actor, he was sure he would come off wooden and forced, which would not help his case.

Qiao Yifan doesn’t like to linger on the past. The main reason is that it's unproductive. The other reason is… his memories in Tiny Herb weren’t pleasant. He never admitted it to anyone, not even himself.

Qiao Yifan doesn’t remember his parents. The only memories he has of them is the vague impression of gentle hands and warm smiles, and their disappearing backs. All he has of them is the picture of the three of them, his mother’s handkerchief and his father’s watch. His grandfather took him in alongside his other cousins and distant relatives who had parents that were busy or neglectful. His grandfather loved children, and he had a lot of love to share. However, having so many children with such backgrounds to take care of didn’t make things easy.

His grandfather was no longer young, and he was not a particularly wealthy man. He tried his best, though. They had a roof over their heads, and they never went to bed hungry. They also went to school. Qiao Yifan knew how fortunate he was. So he always tried his best to lessen his grandfather’s burden, trying to help in whatever way he could, however small it might be. He never missed a day of school. He got good grades. He helped with the chores. He never asked for more money. He never started an argument. It did get him into trouble at times, but his grandfather always noticed and acknowledged his efforts. His best memories were spending time with just the two of them, even doing something as mundane as doing groceries shopping and gardening.

However, eventually age caught up with him, and Qiao Yifan lost his last connection to his parents, the only relative that truly cared for him. His eldest cousins stepped up, but with little to no support from other adults in the family, it was too much for them, not when they were barely able to take care of themselves. It caused a lot of tension in the house, and Qiao Yifan often ended up staying out late to escape the stifling atmosphere. It was how he ended up discovering Glory, and finding out that professional gamer was a real job.

It wasn’t difficult to get his cousin to sign him up for the training camp. Young Qiao Yifan did his research. Tiny Herb was a championship team, so their training camp was the best in Beijing. The students were guaranteed food and shelter. He also had enough savings to cover the registration fee and any expenses he would have. For them, it was one less mouth to feed. With almost all his personal belongings packed in the sole luggage he has, he entered Tiny Herb training camp.

He couldn’t remember what his original class was because when he mentioned his short time playing Glory, the training camp instructor seemed rather keen to see what class suited him best. Being rather a naive and obedient child and having no particular attachment to his account and class, he did as he was told and gave different classes a try. He was sure other students didn’t receive the same treatment. Many of them brought and used their own accounts in the training camp.

Now when he looked back, they all shared the same classes with the active members of Tiny Herb team, and none of the team members were in need of a successor. Until Gao Yingjie showed his potential as a Witch, they were looking for malleable talent, which Qiao Yifan was.

For the first time, Qiao Yifan found that he was good at something. He also made a friend in Gao Yingjie. In less than a year, he was promoted to the team. He remembered how he felt back then. When he wore the Tiny Herb uniform and received his account and member card, everything felt surreal. The future, for once, looked bright. He shut down his cautious and pessimistic side, and allowed himself to hope .

Only to have it squashed not long after.

Qiao Yifan found himself struggling from the first day. He actually had a brief hesitation when he was assigned the Assassin account. From the different classes he tried, it was among the few that felt awkward in his hands. But he thought his captain and instructor knew better, and thought it would get better with training.

It did not.

From the top of the class in the training camp, Qiao Yifan became the worst performer in the team, whether it was in individual or team practice. In the first evaluations, Captain Wang Jiexi still gave him his personal attention. However, the longer he went on without clear progress, Vice Captain Deng Fusheng took over guiding him. It didn’t help that he had Gao Yingjie who joined the team at the same time. While they had similar personalities, their abilities were vastly different. He ended up always falling short. He was further cast in the shadows against the light of his best friend. Before long he became the transparent Qiao Yifan.

Qiao Yifan recalled the many nights spent training and reviewing videos from his own practice and Assassin players’ matches, only to have nothing to show in the team’s practice in the day. Only Gao Yingjie was willing to be his partner during free individual practice.

Qiao Yifan is and has never been a dreamer. Life made him cautious and pragmatic. He didn’t expect to be a famous pro player or the main roster of a championship team. However, he did expect himself to be part of a team, to contribute as a team member… to matter .

He didn’t pose enough of a challenge to become a training partner. He wasn't good enough to be played in a match. He gave no value to the team.

Those days before he met Ye Xiu had been the darkest time of Qiao Yifan’s life. He kept questioning his own worth. Whatever confidence he had built before joining the team seemed to vanish without a trace. He could even barely remember his grandfather’s warm touch and encouraging words. He had no one to turn to. He was close to no one else in the family, and no one else besides Gao Yingjie in the team. He felt incredibly lonely. He wasn’t even sure why he kept going, when he didn’t know his place in the team, or whether there was a place for him in the first place.

Qiao Yifan doesn’t realize as the recollections are coming back, his body is slowly hunching over as if there are invisible weights. However, he is cognizant enough to know he’s treading on dangerous waters. Before the memories can sweep him away, he forces himself to knock on the door.

“Come in.” The response comes not a second later.

“Excuse me.” Qiao Yifan enters the room cautiously. His eyes are everywhere but on the Tiny Herb captain, standing close to the door.

Wang Jiexi frowns at Qiao Yifan’s behavior. He doesn’t regard himself as an intimidating person, but the way Qiao Yifan is unable to look at him and to come closer makes him question himself. He remembers Qiao Yifan being a shy and reserved child, but he doesn’t completely avoid eye-contact and interacting with people. He is better than Gao Yingjie in that respect. He actually looks more comfortable than his successor on the stage despite the obvious apprehension and discomfort. He didn’t act this way around Fang Rui, either.

His choice in using Ghostblade and challenging Fang Rui was certainly surprising, but what was more surprising was how well he used it, better than he is as an Assassin and against the master of playing dirty, nonetheless.

Wang Jiexi cannot remember Qiao Yifan showing any preference or inclination towards a certain class or player. He does notice his lack of presence which made him think that he was suitable to be an Assassin. It doesn’t occur to him that Qiao Yifan might be more suitable for other classes, which explains his lackluster performance in the team. As a captain he tries his best to know everything about his team members, but when it comes to Qiao Yifan, he encounters too much of a blank space, which doesn’t sit right for him.

“Come and sit down.” Wang Jiexi gestures towards the closest seat to the door. Being seated should make the conversation easier. Qiao Yifan hesitates for a bit before doing as he was told to.

“Would you like anything to drink?” Wang Jiexi reaches towards the fridge.

“Oh no. I couldn’t possibly- Captain, no need to bother.” Qiao Yifan quickly refuses. Wang Jiexi takes out two cans of soda and juice each and brings it to the table between them. From his experience with Gao Yingjie, refusal does not necessarily mean actual refusal.

“Just in case you’re thirsty, you may help yourself.”

“Ah yes. Thank you Captain.” Qiao Yifan nods, but makes no further move, if anything his hands are tightly clenched on his lap.

“I’m not aware you can play Ghostblade.” Wang Jiexi decides to cut to the chase before the silence can stretch for too long.

“I… only started playing casually in-game.” Qiao Yifan answers cautiously.

“How long ago?” Wang Jiexi caught on to the choice of words.

“Um, a month ago?” Qiao Yifan answers hesitantly.

If Wang Jiexi is a lesser man, his shock will be obvious. Qiao Yifan’s Ghostblade is already at professional player level. Unless they are Tiny Herb team members and those who closely follow the team and remember their roster, no one will think that Qiao Yifan is the owner of the Assassin account, Dusty Miller. They might even think that he’s the one behind the Ghostblade account, Rangoon Creeper. He also looks much more at ease and comfortable with a Ghostblade than an Assassin. While he’s thinking about all of this, he takes note of the time Qiao Yifan picked the new class.

“Is it Ye Qiu?” Qiao Yifan makes a deer-caught-in-the-headlights look, confirming his guess. His mind also picks up how oddly easy it is to read the expression of the rookie who managed to hold his own against the master of playing dirty.

“Your Phantom Demon is good.” Wang Jiexi is telling the truth.

There might be some mistakes here and there, but Qiao Yifan managed to show the qualities that made an excellent Phantom Demon: ability to grasp the overall situation, to make quick decisions in unexpected situations, and to utilize wretchedness to create opportunities. By choosing Fang Rui as his opponent in Rookie Challenge, Qiao Yifan was able to showcase his abilities. Phantom Demon’s greatest value is in the team, but what he has shown in the 1v1 match is already promising, so promising that Li Xuan himself contacted him to ask about Qiao Yifan. The acknowledgment from the number one Phantom Demon speaks for itself. Wang Jiexi will be a fool if he doesn’t retain the talent for his own team.

“Unfortunately, players and characters cannot be changed after the season started. For now, you will take turns with Zhou Yebai in using Rangoon Creeper during practice.”

“...I don’t understand?” Qiao Yifan asks in confusion.

“Phantom Demon is not suited for 1v1s, but you did very well for your first time against a professional player. Zhou Yebai couldn’t do as well. His Phantom Demon was only played in team competitions. However, this will change if you are able to coordinate with the team well.”

Wang Jiexi expects any reaction from Qiao Yifan, but he doesn't expect how Qiao Yifan’s head and shoulders only seem to droop lower with every word he says.

“Captain, you couldn’t possibly mean that I’ll be taking Senior Zhou’s place.”

“Tiny Herb doesn’t need two Phantom Demons.” Wang Jiexi is merely stating a fact.

“What’s wrong?” Wang Jiexi cannot understand why Qiao Yifan reacts this way. He has expected for the kid to be excited at the prospect, at the possibility of finally being on stage, to play an official match like any other pro players.

“...I’m afraid that’s not possible.” Qiao Yifan speaks quietly.

“Why is that?” Wang Jiexi frowns. Rarely he’s so perplexed, most often it is the other way around.

“Phantom Demons are most valuable in a team, when they cooperate with their teammates. But…” Slowly, hesitantly he raises his head to look at Wang Jiexi.

“For Tiny Herb, am I their teammate?” Am I considered one of your own? is the unspoken question.

Wang Jiexi is rendered speechless. He knew that Qiao Yifan is having a hard time meshing with the team. Considering his lacking performance, it is natural for the others to have difficulty to count on him during team competition or consider him as a challenge in individual practices. His personality doesn’t help, either. To say that it's reached to the point that they don’t regard him as a teammate…

“That doesn’t matter. They will acknowledge you when they see your abilities.”

“Do you really believe that Captain?” Qiao Yifan asks calmly, almost placidly, which actually manages to make Wang Jiexi reassess the situation.

Wang Jiexi is used to making snap judgments. He is able to take in a lot of information at once, make a quick and accurate assessment and to come to the best decision for the team on and off the stage. He is also decisive when he makes up his mind and regardless of the difficulties, he has the ability to follow through. It is how he gained the title of Magician. It is how he led Tiny Herb to win two championships.

It’s not to say that he’s always right. He recalls his incorrect first impression of Fang Shiqian. He committed many mistakes in his early captaincy. However, he had his seniors, particularly his former vice captain and God of Healing, to guide and challenge him. As he gained more experience, his judgment grew more reliable. His current and former teammates, and even himself, rarely questions his decisions. Furthermore, with the retirement of Fang Shiqian and other seniors, Wang Jiexi is left as the oldest and most experienced member of the team. He is also the captain and ace player of Tiny Herb, the championship team. His attention is constantly needed not only for team-related matters, but also club-related matters. This season is particularly tough and demanding with so many changes to the team and expectations from the club and for the club from fans and sponsors.

Then, there’s Gao Yingjie.

Gao Yingjie is unlike anyone he knows, definitely not like himself. Yet, he is the most promising successor to Vaccaria. He is certain he cannot treat him like any ordinary member of the team, so he dedicates the most attention he can give between his duty and responsibility to Gao Yingjie. He doesn’t think it through how it appears to the team.

As a consequence, he… has left Qiao Yifan to fend for himself on his own, and by extension, he failed to foster cooperation and comradeship in the team. He has wanted to encourage competition within the team so they would keep striving to be the best and to aim for the championship, but not to the point that they will only see each other no more than competitors, that they will see their team members, their comrades’ progress and ability, but only see a threat to themselves and their place in the team. Instead of an opportunity for growth and betterment of the team.

This… is not what Tiny Herb is supposed to be. This is not what the Tiny Herb Captain Lin Jie has entrusted to him.

“Captain… I don’t think I’m suitable for Tiny Herb.” Such a sad, helpless expression doesn’t belong to such a young face. “And I don’t think Tiny Herb is suitable for me, either.”

This thought has actually crossed his mind, but to hear them spoken out loud, by the very person himself only makes it worse, especially when it is no fault of his own. Wang Jiexi can tell that Qiao Yifan is nervous, if not the slightest bit afraid, but he speaks out anyway. The boy is much braver than he can give him credit for. And right now, ironically, he’s embodied Tiny Herb more than anyone else.

Wang Jiexi closes his eyes and sighs in regret.

“Then… What do you want to do?” Qiao Yifan blinks in surprise, not expecting Wang Jiexi to concede so easily.

“I… just want to keep practicing my Ghostblade if it’s possible, and find a team who’s willing to take me in.”

“Team Void is interested in you. Li Xuan has contacted me.”

“Senior Li has?” Qiao Yifan’s surprise is genuine. He does not expect such a response from Wang Jiexi. He and Fang Rui have come up with various scenarios, but they all share similarities in that there is some resistance from Wang Jiexi. Qiao Yifan doesn’t look a gift horse in the mouth if Wang Jiexi is willing to accommodate him even though he’s made it clear that he won’t be staying in Tiny Herb.

“I can give you his contact number. However, if you’d like to keep your options open, the club can contact other clubs on your behalf and see whether they’re interested in Phantom Demon. Maybe… Wind Howl?”

Qiao Yifan jolts up in response, completely taken aback. Wang Jiexi truly lives up to his name as the Magician, Qiao Yifan cannot really follow his train of thought. He has never worked with the number one Witch since he retired before Qiao Yifan joined the Chinese Glory team, and back then Li Xuan was still the most capable Phantom Demon to keep up with him.

“It seems you’re quite a fan of Fang Rui.” Wang Jiexi cannot help but notice the most honest reaction from Qiao Yifan throughout their conversation.

“Ah.” Qiao Yifan finds himself blushing. He’s never good at concealing his admiration for his seniors. Wang Jiexi finds himself smiling at how much Qiao Yifan acts like his age at the mention of his idol. His smile turns sad when he realizes he only discovers this now.

“There’s still five months left in your contract with Tiny Herb. During individual practice you may use your own Ghostblade account.” Wang Jiexi raises an eyebrow at that. Qiao Yifan ducks his head bashfully. He doesn’t comment on that and merely continues on.

“However, for team practice, you will alternate between Zhou Yebai in using Rangoon Creeper, whether in individual sparring or team competition. Forcing you to continue using an Assassin is not beneficial for yourself and the team. However, we only have one Phantom Demon account, I hope you understand.”

Tiny Herb’s young Qiao Yifan might not fully understand, but Happy’s Captain Qiao Yifan can understand Captain Wang Jiexi’s decision.

It is a pragmatic approach, but also a kind gesture.

Professional gaming is no different than any other jobs. Just because they are playing games, it doesn’t mean they don’t have professional ethics. Qiao Yifan signed a contract when he was promoted to the team. With his lackluster performance, it can be said that he’s not upholding his part of the deal. He is the one at fault. There’s no reason for the club to accommodate him. They have all the rights to force him to keep practicing as an Assassin, or to change his class and use Rangoon Creeper during his term of contract.

However, Wang Jiexi chooses not to. He respects Qiao Yifan’s decision to change class and not to stay in Tiny Herb. However, he still expects Qiao Yifan to give value to the team as Ghostblade even only in practice sessions, whether as a sparring partner or as team support. It’s also likely that he’s to use Rangoon Creeper as an incentive for the team, particularly Zhou Yebai, to learn and grow.

That’s good enough for Qiao Yifan.

While his sharp, analytical mind goes through all this, Qiao Yifan retains his shy, meek self who is alarmed at the unexpected gesture from Tiny Herb’s God.

“Ah ah. How can I?” Qiao Yifan flails around in embarrassment. “I know I haven’t been performing well, Captain. This is already too much. I’m really grateful. I do not wish to impose further.”

Somehow Wang Jiexi looks sad at his words.

“We’ll discuss more in detail when we’re back in Tiny Herb. I’ve kept you up too long. It’s already late, Yingjie must be worried.” Wang Jiexi stands up, making Qiao Yifan unconsciously follow suit. Only then he realizes how late it has been.

“Thank you, Captain, for your time.” Qiao Yifan bows slightly as Wang Jiexi shows him to the door. He is about to open the door when Wang Jiexi speaks up.

“Qiao Yifan, I’m sorry. I’ve failed you as your captain.”

Wang Jiexi has failed this boy in many ways. He has failed to see his true potential, assigning him a class that didn’t suit him. He hasn’t bothered to look further, to understand why he wasn’t performing well. He has failed to pay attention to the substitutes other than Gao Yingjie.

The boy’s clear eyes round up in surprise, completely speechless. He certainly doesn’t know what to say to his captain’s words. Honestly, if Captain Lin Jie said the same thing, he wouldn’t know what to say either, so Wang Jiexi isn’t surprised that Qiao Yifan excuses himself in a small voice and hurriedly opens the door and leaves.

Wang Jiexi is left staring at the closed door.

Meanwhile, Qiao Yifan stands dazedly in front of the door. He takes a step, another step, and another, but doesn’t know where he’s going.

He just needs to go somewhere, anywhere but here.

His breathing is short and quick, as if he’s been running. But he isn’t running.

He’s just in the hotel that he’s staying with his team. Tiny Herb, not Happy. Not his team, not his Happy.

Wang Jiexi, Tiny Herb’s captain. Not his captain.

Wang Jiexi, who has just apologized to him.

God Wang, who has just acknowledged his failure to Qiao Yifan.

Qiao Yifan doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t know what to feel. He-

“Yifan?” He turns sharply towards the voice, his eyes wide and wild. Fang Rui looks at him concernedly.

“...Brother Rui?” Qiao Yifan’s voice is dry and hoarse. He doesn’t understand, he hasn’t even spoken that much. Fang Rui approaches him carefully, he telegraphs his movement so he can see what he is about to do. Qiao Yifan only stares blankly as his senior holds his wrist gently, guiding him to the emergency exit. He blinks, adjusting to the contrasting silence and dim lighting. He still doesn’t remove his gaze from Fang Rui’s hand on his wrist.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Fang Rui’s voice is quiet. This time he takes both of Qiao Yifan’s hands on his own, the warm touch grounding him.

“...It went well. Captain… Wang Jiexi, allows me to keep practicing Ghostblade, and not to renew my contract with Tiny Herb.”

“That sounds great.” Fang Rui’s voice is a gentle, calming timbre. Qiao Yifan watches dazedly, humming absently in response as the older man rubs comforting circles on his smaller hands.

“Is that all?”

“He…” Qiao Yifan falters. “He apologized.” Fang Rui doesn’t stop his movement even though he’s obviously surprised. Qiao Yifan is infinitely grateful.

“He said he was sorry that he had failed me.” It only hits him then and there the weight of the words as he repeats Wang Jiexi’s words.

“...Did you accept his apology?”

Qiao Yifan’s instinctive reaction is to say there’s nothing to apologize in the first place, there’s no need for apologies, but those words die the moment Qiao Yifan’s eyes meet Fang Rui’s.

This is the person who has seen him at his worst, when he was starting out as Happy’s commander and later, captain, seeing him struggling and failing. This is his senior who has defended and stood by him when Happy performed badly, when the press and the public dragged his name through the mud. This is his brother who has listened to his worries and insecurities throughout the years, who has understood him best.

“I-I don’t want to.” The first tears fall. “Does that make me a bad person?”

Fang Rui pulls the younger man–no, the boy–into his arms.

“Not at all. Not at all.”

“I just- I don’t ask for much. I know I’m not as good as Gao Yingjie. I’m not a Witch. I don’t mind being just an ordinary team member. I just want to know what I did wrong, what I should do to be better. I just- I just want to be good enough to help, to stand beside everyone.”

The words that he keeps buried finally spill out. The hurt and loneliness that he has carried for all those months in Tiny Herb.

“I don’t understand. Why now? Why not before? What’s so different? What makes me deserve an apology? Why my other self didn’t receive one? Why? Why? ”

Fang Rui can only hold Qiao Yifan close as he lets out heart wrenching sobs, burying his face against his neck, his hands gripping the back of his shirt tightly.

This is an old wound that never quite healed.

Fang Rui is really, really glad that he stays nearby in the case of the worst scenario. He never doubts Qiao Yifan’s strength, but he also knows that the strongest people are most often people who have experienced many lows and yet managed to pick themselves up over and over again. It doesn’t mean they don’t have moments of weakness. It doesn’t mean they are completely unaffected, untouched by all the hardships. It doesn’t mean they don’t bear any scars.

He has noticed that Qiao Yifan rarely mentioned his time in Tiny Herb, and when he did it was rarely of his own initiative. He only spoke at length of Gao Yingjie, but precious little of others. There was nothing personal when he described the other team members, not even Wang Jiexi. He was not the only one. Ye Xiu and Su Mucheng certainly noticed. Other Happy team members picked up on it, Bao Rongxing was no exception.

Qiao Yifan was only 17, and he had lost his last and closest relative. He was looking for somewhere to belong, which Tiny Herb and Wang Jiexi were ill-equipped to provide. They might be a team, but they were also a workplace. Tiny Herb did nothing wrong, they did what was best, and Qiao Yifan, young as he was, realized it. He understood, to an extent, but it didn’t make it easier to accept. It felt like a personal rejection, that he was not enough, that he was unworthy.

Fang Rui understands, because he has been there. He was even younger than Qiao Yifan when Blue Rain didn’t promote him to the team. He managed to take the news calmly and even discuss his options with the manager and Yu Wenzhou. But behind closed doors, there was hurt and disappointment, there was even envy and jealousy. Everyone said that Blue Rain is the most inclusive team in the Alliance, why was I the exception? Why couldn’t you accept me?

It might be easier if he was lacking in skills and ability, but he wasn’t. His only flaw was his personal style was too distinctive, too dirty, too unsuitable for the team. When one’s personal style was so closely linked with their personality, how couldn’t he take it as a rejection to himself?

Fortunately, Wind Howl and Lin Jingyan quickly proved him wrong, reminding that he was wanted and needed. His compromise was not as much as compromise but an expression of gratitude for allowing him to be himself, a returning of favor for taking a chance on him, for believing in him. It didn’t matter that he changed classes from Qi Master to Brawler to Thief, changed roles from potential successor to partner. What mattered most was that he was allowed to stand on the stage and fight for the ultimate glory.

However, Qiao Yifan was not as fortunate. He was left questioning himself and his worth on his own for a long time until Ye Xiu appeared. He cannot imagine what the younger man went through. But he imagines it must be worse than his time in Wind Howl during Tang Hao’s captaincy. He was older then, and he was not completely alone. It didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt or tired.

Fang Rui still bears the scars. Some scars still hurt, some others barely register. Time heals all wounds, that is true. However, all wounds need to be allowed to heal before they can turn into scars. These wounds should be acknowledged first, to let them bleed.

Fang Rui sincerely hopes that with this, his little brother can finally start to heal.

Qiao Yifan doesn’t know how long he has been crying. All he knows is that his eyes and his throat hurt, that his nose is stuffed, and… he has been hugging Fang Rui.

At the horrified realization, Qiao Yifan hastily pulls back in embarrassment, nearly hitting Fang Rui’s chin. His face turns red when he sees the huge wet and soggy patch on his senior’s shirt and jacket. Before he can start apologizing, a playful flick on his forehead stops him in his tracks.

“Ah ah ah. If it’s an apology I don’t want to hear it.” Fang Rui then proceeds to take off his shirt and zips up his jacket instead. “Since it’s already wet, why don’t you use it as well to clean up your face? Don’t worry, it’s fresh out of the luggage and it doesn’t smell. I didn’t even sweat.”

Qiao Yifan blinks dumbly, before dissolving into laughter. He just can’t help it. He can imagine Chen Guo scolding him for being insensitive. It has happened before. Fang Rui isn’t being insensitive, he’s actually being considerate, treating his breakdown as if it was something normal, nothing to be embarrassed about. The older man also knows that he’s not willing to go outside with obvious signs of crying. Ergo, the most practical solution is sacrificing his shirt, which is already going to the laundry anyway. Pragmatic Qiao Yifan takes it, and without further hesitation uses it to clean his face from tears and snot.

“Feeling better?” After a while, Fang Rui breaks the silence.

“...Actually, yes.” Qiao Yifan admits, looking down at his hands. It feels like a huge weight off his shoulders. He doesn’t realize he has been carrying this for a long time.

“You know you’re allowed to feel hurt and angry, right?” It is an echo of a past conversation. He didn’t fully understand what Fang Rui meant back then. He had even been confused because he never saw Fang Rui truly lose his temper. He has always been quick to bounce back. He was the mood maker of the team. But he knows better now.

“...Even though it has been a long time ago?”

“Even then. Everything has its own time.” Warm, gentle hand is a comforting weight on his head.

“I suppose… I’m a bit angry at Captain Wang, and at Tiny Herb.”

Fang Rui’s thoughts are written all over his face. No shit. Qiao Yifan purses his lips to hold back his giggles.

“I know I was performing badly, but I deserve better than being left to flounder alone. I was just a rookie… I was just a kid.” Qiao Yifan’s voice was quiet in the beginning, but slowly it got stronger and firmer at the end. The calm, determined expression is actually a familiar one to all Happy team members, this is the expression of their captain when he staunchly defends the team.

Fang Rui smiles. It’s about time for Qiao Yifan to learn to stand up for himself.

“Good.” His little captain looks so confused at that, Fang Rui chuckles. One step at a time, he reminds himself. This is not a lesson that should be rushed. He didn’t even realize there was still something he could teach this amazing young man.

“Let’s go back to your room, shall we? Yingjie must be worried sick, looking at the buzzing of your phone.”

Only then Qiao Yifan notices the buzzing coming from his phone. He pulls it out to find out that Gao Yingjie has been sending him messages. He resorts to calling him since it’s close to curfew. Qiao Yifan coughs and clears his throat before picking up the call.

“Yingjie? I’m fine. I’m just about to go back to the room. I’ll be right there soon.”

Qiao Yifan puts back his phone in his pocket. He reluctantly returns the folded shirt to Fang Rui.

“See you tomorrow.” Fang Rui reminds him. Whether they remain in the past, or return to the present, they will see each other again tomorrow. The thought brings a smile on Qiao Yifan’s face.

Qiao Yifan hesitates before he opens the door. Fang Rui tilts his head in confusion, before somebody barrels into him, giving him a brief hug before disappearing into the hallways. Fang Rui chuckles in amusement, inwardly relieved that Qiao Yifan recovers quickly.

It may not be a bad thing for them to return to the past, it seems.

***

Qiao Yifan finds himself unable to sleep despite the late hours and the darkness of the room. After his breakdown he actually expected to fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. He turns around in his bed, his gaze falling on the sleeping form of Gao Yingjie.

When he returned to the room last night, it was obvious that his best friend had waited for him, most likely keeping himself up in a state of anxiety. However, he only took one look at him and told him to go to sleep, swallowing all the questions he wanted to ask.

He is undeniably glad for the reprieve. He doesn’t know yet what to say to his friend. It doesn’t help that his conversation with Wang Jiexi left him feeling raw and vulnerable. He is not ready yet for another difficult conversation, and he doesn’t want to keep his friend's hopes up. This Gao Yingjie is still hopeful for the chance for them to fight side by side. He might see his performance in the Rookie Challenge and the captain looking for him as a good sign. They will eventually have their chance, but not in Tiny Herb.

It was only for World Invitationals, and only for three times, which might be nothing in comparison to the times they faced off against each other as opponents. And in those times, Tiny Herb most often loses against Happy.

Gao Yingjie is definitely a genius, he is worthy of inheriting the god-level account Vaccaria. In his hands, Vaccaria remains the undisputed number one Witch in Glory.

…But he’s no Wang Jiexi.

It was not immediately evident after Wang Jiexi retired, since Gao Yingjie had Xu Bin as his vice captain, alongside Yuan Baiqing and Liu Xiaobie, who have only become more reliable with age and experience. It was not exactly a problem of skill and ability. It was just that Wang Jiexi’s influence was too strong, too deeply ingrained in Tiny Herb, which would take more than to stop seeing him as a crutch to remove.

Qiao Yifan is not privy to the details, but he strongly suspects that Tiny Herb suffers similar problems with Excellent Era. The title of two time championship team that was led by the Magician, God Wang Jiexi has become a double-edged sword.

Thinking of the worn and aged Captain Gao Yingjie in the future, his heart hurts.

This is not something a rookie and a former transparent team member can tackle. It is pure arrogance to think that he can even make a significant change in the remaining time he has.

“I haven’t talked with Yingjie.” Qiao Yifan ends up texting Fang Rui, not expecting a response. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’ll come to you.” A chat bubble surprisingly pops up. “You’re best friends, aren’t you?”

Qiao Yifan smiles ruefully at the reminder.

“You might not need to worry about that if we return to our time after we went to sleep.”

Qiao Yifan blinks. The possibility that they might return to their timeline slips his mind even though he has been the one who brought it up.

“Is that why you’re still awake?” Qiao Yifan asks.

“I am leaving a note for my past self so he’s not too confused.”

“And playing Glory.”

“Of course.” A snort escapes Qiao Yifan at the matter-of-fact response. Fang Rui does have the All-Star Competitions to prepare for.

“I am telling him that a rookie challenged me. His name is Qiao Yifan from Tiny Herb. He is such a shy and quiet kid, but he is a Ghostblade, and he can play dirty. He’s only played for a month. His future is bright.”

Qiao Yifan feels his face heat up. Seriously, he cannot recall blushing as much before. It may be the effect of his younger body that he is so easily flustered.

But thinking of young Qiao Yifan reading this message when he wakes up in the morning, from another pro player that was not Ye Xiu… he must be very happy. His eyes soften at the thought, but he also thinks how much it meant for Qiao Yifan of that time.

“We’re changing the future, aren’t we?” In just one day, there are pretty significant changes to their past selves and teams. They did agree to stick as much as possible to their past in the case they did return to their present. Lin Jingyan will leave Wind Howl. Qiao Yifan won’t have his contract with Tiny Herb renewed. Those two main events are unlikely to change. It can be said the changes are merely changes in attitude and behavior, but they are also the kind of change that is most difficult to predict.

“Thinking of the butterfly effect?” Fang Rui asks, easily catching on to his train of thought.

“Yes.” Qiao Yifan responds somberly. There’s no immediate response from Fang Rui.

“Ultimately all I can think of is that our opponents are going to be different. That’s it. You’re the master tactician, you might already have several scenarios in mind.”

Fang Rui is right. Qiao Yifan has run through multiple scenarios and discarded many others in his mind. However, the most extreme scenarios are when ultimately people are in different places, either weakening or strengthening certain teams in particular or the Alliance in general, which will completely change the past as they know it.

“I did.”

“You’re not worried?” Fang Rui’s question makes him stop and stare. The people they care about, and they are considering changing the past for, are the people that also happen to be their future opponents, and it’s not limited to Lin Jingyan and Gao Yingjie. They have grown to care for many others in their path of glory.

They all strive for the championship, for the ultimate glory. But the journey matters as much, so do the people, the companions they made along the journey. Their companions are not only their teammates.

Glory is never meant to be played alone.

Even so, Happy still is and will always be the most important, more than anyone or anything else. So why isn’t he worried that might make things more difficult for his beloved team?

“I believe in Happy.”

Qiao Yifan’s fingers move before his mind catches up. There’s no single doubt or hesitation, so long Happy exists, so long they’re together, they can deal with whatever comes their way.

“I believe in Happy, too.” Fang Rui’s agreement comes only a second later.

In the face of irrevocably changed future, in the possibility any wrong step will have enormous consequences, it's easy to buckle under the weight.

However, some things will never change, will never falter.

It is their belief in themselves, and their belief in Happy.

Thank you for reading until the end! This chapter sure takes a surprising somber turn when I wrote it, but I decided to keep going anyway. Let me know what you think! I also shared my headcanons and character/team analysis on my tumblr (see the tag bts: let's start thinkin 'bout it). Otherwise, the note will be incredibly long (yes, i'm self-aware enough, thank you) XDD

#fanfiction #fanfic #quan zhi gao shou #the king's avatar #qzgs #tka #fang rui #qiao yifan #ao3 #let's start thinkin' bout it

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