sorry for diary posting so much on main but this is the last one today prommy

Steve and Nancy's story is complex and beautiful...and not everyone will understand it.

I pity the people who cannot, or refuse, to see the beauty in Steve and Nancy’s story. A story about how trauma impacts your relationships and the way in which you cope with traumatic events. A story about how in the beginning, these two teenagers were not compatible but attempted to make their relationship work, only for the shame, guilt, and blame to take over and rupture the relationship. A story about how it is crucial to acknowledge and understand your partner's pain, and be their support, their rock, their shoulder to cry on.

It is a story about a teenage boy’s fall from popularity, and finding his true self as a friend, a protector, a lover. A story about a teenage girl working to make something of herself, to establish an identity that is purely hers. A story about a teenage boy who works to rectify his past mistakes, and learns to give himself grace for being a human. A story about a girl being true to herself, trusting her gut, and believing in her capabilities without bending to everyone else's expectations of who she should be. A story about a boy who's love for a girl was so strong that it helped him change into a person she could trust and depend on. A story of a girl who sees this boy in a new light, and thinks maybe, just maybe, he can offer her a future of partnership, adventure, and love.

It is a story about how these two teenagers have worked to grow and heal (and how they will continue to grow and heal), and are in a better place now where they can be what the other needs in time. A story about a second chance at love, now that they are both in a better place to love the other. They're not perfect. They never were. Healing and growth are not linear. They will always have their faults, their flaws, and like everyone else, they'll hit rough patches along the way. The difference between Steve and Nancy then and Steve and Nancy now is how they handle the hard times, together. How they face them, together.

And the audience can see how Steve has changed, from a boy who was apprehensive of Nancy's drive to get justice for Barb, to a man who trusted her investigative instincts, offered to join her on her exploration, and told her to be careful. From a teenager who utilized avoidance as a coping mechanism, whose "go with the flow" attitude was a mask to hide his pain, to a man who confidently told Nancy that she is what he's always wanted. There was no avoidance. No shame. No fear. There was simply a boy, who has changed, telling the girl he loves that she is it for him.

And the audience can see how Nancy has changed, too, from a girl who pushed a boy away because his presence was a painful reminder of what, rather who she lost, to a woman who is slowly, slowly, learning that this boy is good, and he is safe. She welcomes him back into her life with ease. From a girl who held this boy at gunpoint because she did not want him involved, to a woman who includes him, and trusts him when he volunteers himself in the face of danger, and defends him because he is someone worth defending.

To truly understand Steve and Nancy's story, you have to be willing to see their growth. You have to be willing to acknowledge change and believe characters can and do change. You have to accept that they did change. And therein lies the problem. Many, many people are purposely choosing to ignore their growth, because it does not fit their version of what they want or think should happen. Many people do not trust or believe that these characters know what they want, or know what's best for them. You have to be able to see and accept who they are now, as opposed to who they once were. How their views have changed. Their morals. Their personalities. Their wants, needs, hopes, and dreams. If you're still holding onto who Steve and Nancy were in the earlier seasons, then you are closing yourself off to any potential understanding of who they are now. If you are intentionally misconstruing what these characters say to fit your own narrative, then you are choosing to believe you know these characters better than they know themselves. If you are perfectly content with misunderstanding their relationship and refusing to acknowledge their growth, then you will miss out on not only a delicate and beautiful relationship, but also a lesson: Second chances happen. And sometimes, people do find their way back to each other.

I don't know what season five will bring. I don’t know if we’ll get a happy ending to their story.

But I do know one thing. I pity the people who willfully choose to ignore a beautiful story about two people finding their way back to each other. That is real life. That is love. It's not always simple or easy. Second chances happen every single day. And how beautiful it is for us to witness the rekindling of two ex-lovers. That is Steve and Nancy's story.

I have decided I am going to go to grad school in 2.5 years. If anyone would like to make a decision as to what I will go to grad school for. That would be great

hihi i was wondering what you’re studying in grad school? i’m debating going LOL

i’m currently in a master’s program 4 a gender studies degree! my experience has been. pretty good so far but if ur located in the u.s. my honest advice is don’t go 2 grad school unless u can get it fully funded…or unless ur rich enough 2 just eat the cost of paying 4 a program in which case u can probably do whatever u want lol

new who has emphasized the cybermen as a loss of personhood but they really really have not leaned into the horror of it like they could. there have even been stories of maintaining ones personhood through the conversion but what about the opposite? what about a generation of cybermen that do not hide what they used to be, whose faces are still visible, reflecting an individuality they no longer possess, but that is meaningful to the people they used to belong to? the “ghosts” of doomsday were imagined to be dead loved ones, but what if you saw their face? what if your grandfather was looking you in the face but did not recognize you. what if he offered a way to take away the pain of loss. what if the ordeal was over and the danger was done and the thing piloting his body survived it intact. what if he was right there but you could never, ever have him back. what then

posts with library workers discussing library business where they feel the need to make it very clear whether or not they have an MLS are so annoying. like that makes them the ultimate authority on basic ass library shit that even most regular patrons understand

GUYS I JUST GOT INTO CAMBRIDGE FOR MY PHD

it’s running concurrent to my headcanon that. well. the universe is so lacking in constants for the doctor, and if it’s after he’s experienced the loss of a companion, he’s not going to go have tea with someone else he once travelled with and had to leave behind.

it just makes sense to me, that he’d go seek out the master. especially if he’s barely restraining himself from making bad choices about breaking fixed points in time and causing paradoxes. and he’s right there, playing harold saxon for the world to see, and he’s right. there. the doctor can just go and see him whenever he wants.

fall registration opens in another couple weeks and i’m hoping desperately that the gis lab opens up an online section like they did for this semester…. because the in person lab is right when i want to take a rarely-offered anthro course….

a few of my students have said that they want to be an English teacher at least partially because of me which is very sweet and also lololol hilarious because I never wanted to be an English teacher even though I was made to do it

genuinely found the perfect masters/phd program for myself that wouldn’t require me to have to move to a different country so im gonna need the US to settle the fuck down for a hot goddamn minute so i can consider applying

Final year of a section of my schooling, my brain has become obsessed with dragon age inquisition again

The way uncertainty in life makes me want to cry and shut down.

it's okay guys we just have to get through thursday and friday we're good

the thing about gamedev that they dont want you to know is that you have to actually dev your game @.@ crazy ! ! !

I talked to my professor yesterday and I have some thoughts but it's too exhausting to rant rn. But there will be. Ranting.