Raymond y Sus Amigos- Damian Priest 2 de Mayo 2023

Alright but what if your an artist of the clan! But you have like a secret stash of naughty drawings and one of the guys (can be anyone honestly) found it and was either like these are good or they’re like ohh so would you be down to try this position? AHHH ITS 5AM AND I NEED TO SEE THIS IDEA OUT

Work of art

adult Neteyam x female omatikaya reader

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: explicit smut, minors dni, thigh riding, praise kink, p in v, creampie

Notes: you guys are literally so creative omg thanks for this request I loved that idea!! Also I hope it’s fine that I’ve picked Neteyam for this? ☺️

The omatikaya had many forms of art. Your clan had good singers, skillful weavers and wonderful dancers. And you were an artist, a painter. One of the rarest forms of art that the omatikaya practiced. The human scientists had introduced you to something they called pen and paper a few years ago and you couldn’t stop drawing ever since. Your favorite thing to draw were people, may it be humans or Na‘vi. You practiced drawing the human anatomy as often as possible, occasionally you even stole some of Norms biology books to do so.

But your favorite art reference when it came to drawing your own people, was Neteyam. The olo’eyktan’s oldest son and one of your closest friends. And the greatest work of art you knew. You had this little, secret crush on him, but in order not to put your friendship at risk, you never acted upon it. All you had were your little daydreams and fantasies and the drawings you made of him– they were obviously only meant to help you get better at anatomy and nothing else!

Neteyam often spent time with you when you were drawing. Most of the time, he was just laying beside you, taking a quick nap between his chores and duties. Sometimes he would just silently watch you, mesmerized by your talent. On other days, you could barely focus on drawing because the both of you were just too lost in a deep conversation about whatever topic you landed on today.

Today was no different.

"Tey, could you hand me another piece of paper please?" Not even glancing up from your current drawing, you point to the shoulder bag that was laying against a tree.

"Sure", Neteyam smiles, placing your legs, that were lazily swung over his own, to the ground before he raises to his feet and walks over to where you had pointed. Your bag was, as usual, full of non-essential stuff that made it hard to find literally anything in it. Neteyam rolls his eyes as he skips through several books, that you had once again only "borrowed" from the humans (without them knowing, of course), a few colored pencils and a handful of notebooks in various sizes. He glances over his shoulder to get a glimpse of the paper size that you would probably need and grabs the first notebook that was similar in size. It had a small heart craved into the front of its leather cover and given that he had never seen this one before, he only guessed that it must be a new one.

Knowing that most most of your notebooks were already full, he flips it open and searches for a blank page. Of course this one was filled to the brim with drawings, but these were… different kind of drawings, compared to the ones you usually made. Neteyam raises a brow as he examines them carefully, one in particular, before he turns back to you.

"Thats an… odd position. Did you learn that from the humans?" Neteyam flips the notebook for you to see and immediately, all color drains from your face.

The drawing he was showing you was one of your favorites and it was more than just obvious, that what you drew on those pages was supposed to be you and him….

"N-Neteyam!", you squeak and immediately stumble to your feet, "You weren’t supposed to see that, oh great mother—" You attempt to pry the notebook from his hands, but Neteyam only chuckles. He’s holding it over his head, too far for you to reach even as you stand on your very tip toes.

"It’s uhm, I uh– I just used it for anatomy practice, you know, it’s easier if you have a reference and you, uhm, you just happen to be there all the time so it was easier for me to draw you and, and—"

Neteyam grins as you struggle to explain yourself, all flustered and face bright red while he still holds the drawing out of your reach. He secretly enjoys the feeling of your soft hands clawing to his arms and how you unintentionally press yourself against him, because you try with all your might to get that damn book back.

"So you’re not up to try it?", he tilts his head, catching you off guard and you freeze.

"E-Excuse me?" You blink at him, internally questioning if you had heard him right. Finally, he lowers his arm, but all intentions to get your notebook back had left your mind completely.

"I said…", Neteyam bends forward, until his face is just inches from yours, "do you want to try that with me?"

You swallow thickly, your eyes narrowing as if trying to read him, to see if he was just joking. There was a smile spreading on his lips, almost innocently, as if he didn’t just suggest something so filthy that it made your belly tingle.

"I figured it could help you with your art, you know, if you didn’t have to use your imagination anymore", he explains nonchalant. You had to swallow down the next stupid thing that crossed your mind, ready to be spoken out, which was something along the lines of 'please fuck my brains out right now.' But instead, all that really came out was some sort of whimper, an almost pathetic and painfully embarrassing sound that even you weren’t sure how to describe.

Instead of answering him, you just sort of stood there. Staring up at him with wide eyes. Hands clenching into weak fists on your sides, because you really wanted to move them, touch him, respond in any way that didn’t embarrass you further because yes, you absolutely wanted to do that— but you just didn't have the brain capacity to tell him. Neteyam must have caught on on that, because you saw the little curl of a smirk pull at the corner of his lip and then he chuckled, "You’re so adorable."

For a moment, you think that he was actually just joking. That he had successfully managed to make a fool out of you, but then his hand finds the back of your head and he pulls you into a kiss. His tongue shot out immediately, loving the way you opened up for him and you let your eyes flutter closed.

"Okay, let’s see…", Neteyam murmurs once he breaks the kiss and then he sets the book down for both of you to see. For a moment, he pretends to study your drawing, pretends to think about what the first step to lead to this might be as if it wasn’t so obvious already and it makes you squirm in embarrassment. "I think we need to get you all nice and wet first", his voice is low and hot in your ear. You can’t help the very audible gulp that comes out of you when your eyes met his again, dark with want and mischief, almost as if he'd been planning to do this.

Neteyam leans over to dispense wet kisses up your exposed shoulder, until he reaches your throat. He covers your skin in dark, purple marks as he sucks and kisses and bites down softly, making you whimper. His hands slowly travel south, getting hold of your delicate wrists on his way and then he guides them to your loincloth. "Undress yourself for me", Neteyam tells you and your quick to obey, untying the piece of clothing and discarding it to somewhere on the ground. "Good girl", he praises and then wedges one of his thick thighs right in between yours, his hands now holding your hips.

His grip on you was firm, solidly guiding. You could feel the strength of his hands against your flesh, not really rough, but not exactly gentle either. He positioned you to settle on his thigh before he rocks your hips back and forth. You gasp as your core makes contact with his warm skin, the muscles of thigh creating enough friction against your clit to make you moan.

You whimper softly, the tips of your ears burning with an intense heat as you stare up at him through lidded eyes. You can feel the heat pooling rapidly in the pit of your stomach, heart beating hard against your ribs and pounding loudly in your ears as your breaths come out in short, rough pants.

Neteyam experiments with different paces and pressures, trying to figure out the best way to make you feel good and it doesn’t take very long to find out what works best for you. Your hips are rocking against his thigh, and he breaks the kiss he had just captured you in, with a muted gasp and a thin, glistening strand of saliva that connects your lips.

You were growing wetter by the second, so much so that a wet patch was beginning to form on his skin.

"You're dripping all over my thigh,” Neteyam notes amused and you shamefully try to hide your face in the space where his neck meets his shoulder. Every rock of your hips was bringing you a jolt of pleasure. It felt so euphoric that you find yourself never wanting it to end. Everything‘s being stimulated with each buck of your hips and small shivers shot up your spine every time you brush your clit against his muscles.

"Hmm, I think you’re wet enough now", Neteyam hums softly as he brings your hips to an abrupt halt, causing a whine to erupt from you. He takes another glance to the piece of paper laying right next to you both, as if he was reading an instruction. Then he swiftly turns you around so your back is flush with his chest, slightly arched and with your ass pressing into his crotch. You could feel his hard erection already pressing against your bottom and it made you wonder if you were really already so far gone, that you hadn’t even realized that he had pulled his own loincloth off too.

One of his hands snakes up your front and closes itself briefly around your throat, mirroring the position of your drawing. "This what you had in mind, pretty girl?", he whispers against the shell of your ear, right before he pushes the thick head of his cock between your folds. His free hand sets on your hip, holding you in place when his tip finally catches on your entrance and he pushes himself inside. "Fuck, yes", you breathe out and nod, earning a chuckle from him. You can feel the muscles in his arms tense, groaning when his pelvis was flush with your soft bottom and he was fully settled inside the tight heat of your cunt. You let out a long, uninterrupted moan at the full feeling of how deep he was.

Your hands reach back to steady yourself on his hips, but he’s quick to snatch them. He bends your arms to let them rest in the arch of your back, holding them together with his big hand. Now it was truly like the most detailed copy of the drawing that you made. The position you were in, it was straight out of your imagination, out of every wet dream that you ever had about this moment and then bought to paper by you, not long ago.

Neteyams pace is slow at first. Somewhat in a teasing way, but mostly to let you adjust to him. You were tight, your walls were heavenly, warm and constricting him and getting even tighter when he increased his pace. In no time, you were all but melting in his hold, moaning out nonsense that was music to his ears.

"Just as tight as I imagined. Oh, great mother– I won’t last if you keep squeezing me like that." Neteyam was moving even faster now and you were moaning, hot and loud, with your head rolled back in the crook of his neck.

It was the perfect position for him to let his tongue dart out and lick at the corner of your lips, to which you quickly turned your head and let him capture your mouth in yet another heated kiss.

He pounded into you then, using your arms as leverage as he thrusts his hips up and into you, the head of his cock rapidly hitting your g-spot in the process. Your jaw dropped and your fists clenched, but oh, that wasn't all that was clenching. Your breathing turned needy and higher pitched, struggling to keep steady as he was driving you over the edge faster than you could probably even process it.

"Tey", you whined the sweet nickname that was reserved for you and only you to use, "Tey, I‘m— I‘m gonna cum!"

"Be a good girl and squeeze my cock when you do, yeah? I want to– fuck, I want to feel you cum around me", he groans, sweating from his own exertion as he pushed right into your sweet spot. And who were you to deny him? You did as you were told, flexing your lower abdomen to squeeze the cock that was roughly thrusting in and out of your fluttering walls.

Neteyams head fell back at the sweet, savory feeling of your tightness, so wet that there was hardly any resistance at all as you finally reach your high. "That’s it, you look so pretty when you cum. Such a good girl for me", he breathes as you choke on a moan.

You keep flexing your inner walls as best as you can, until you feel him tremble with the change. Neteyam moans and it’s the most erotic sound you’ve ever heard and then his movements become jerky and you know he’s about to come. You try your best to keep your eyes open, turning your head slightly to not miss the look on his face when he does. His mouth is slightly agape, eyes half lidded as they land on yours and with one last thrust he stills inside you. His cum is hot and sticky and you can feel it fill you.

Neteyams hands finally leave your arms and they’re aching from the weird position they were in the whole time, but you’re quick to ignore the pain when his lips land on yours again. Your familiar with his kisses by now, relishing in the way he still kisses you so hot and open mouthed and wet, even after he just came.

Your panting heavily when you break the kiss to breathe and immediately, Neteyam lowers his head to continue with his very own work of art, that he had left on your throat earlier. Small love bites and hickeys were already turning purple on your pretty blue skin, making you especially sensitive there and a small gasp escapes your lips.

"Was that the reference you needed, my sweet girl?" He asks against your throat before placing another kiss there.

"Hmh yes", you hum, a small smile appearing on your lips as you let out a little chuckle.

"Good. Now show me what else you got in that little notebook. I’ve got plenty of time today."

Analysis of Laios’ succubus and theories on what it means - deep dive on Laios’ desires in human connections

Laios’ succubus is a very odd incident. I have some particular interpretations of why it was Marcille, and why things went down the way they did.

We know that a succubus shows what one desires, stated in canon as “an alluring form”; yes often in a romantic or sexual sense, as seen with Chilchuck’s succubus being entirely set on looks and seduction, meanwhile Marcille’s does have a focus on chivalrous noble demeanor as well, showing romantic behavior and personality. BUT with Izutsumi we also see that the liaison doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual at all, either, in Izutsumi’s case it’s a familial bond she craves. So perhaps we can say that the succubus exploits a desire based on connection, in whichever form that takes. Marcille wants an emotional connection foremost(which is also reflected in how it’s a character she knows very well and not a stranger. Perhaps romantic.), Chilchuck wants pleasure(a simple pleasure not unlike alcohol, perhaps such a connection is free of the more risky or unpleasant parts of a relationship, he doesn’t have to worry or to think and can just let himself go. Sexual.), Izutsumi wants a mother figure that can offer her warmth and comfort with who she doesn’t have to be tough (Familial), and I believe Laios’ is platonic and centered on his desire to have people with who he belongs and can be himself with…

But Laios’ case is more complex, it has layers. The thing is, even if Laios wanted to have someone able to turn him into a monster—which it didn’t even have to be, could straight up have just been a monster with such powers—, it didn’t have to be someone he knew. You could say the succubus wanted to disarm Laios’ suspicions with someone he knew and that was nearby, but the succubus seem very direct in every other case, simply appearing with someone’s greatest appearance even though both Marcille and Chilchuck were fully on guard and the succubi knew it. "Believability" isn’t an important factor. No, his succubus being someone he knew was important. It being Marcille was important.

There’s a TLDR at the end of this if you want to cut it short. For everyone else, strap in everyone, if you don’t know me hi I’m Fumi and I made this 3k words long analysis and theorizing bc I am autistic much like the character in question and I think this is both fascinating and has a lot to say. In this I offer both platonic and romantic reasonings and I do go rather in depth in Laios’ psychology and relationships to dissect what ever could this damn cryptic event MEAN. Spoilers for the succubus chapters obviously and also the last few arcs of the series so… Spoilers for the series as a whole!

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So attraction wise it’s kinda unsure where Laios stands. He does sort of logically list off aesthetically pleasing traits of the orc’s wives, but besides that… Not really, or he never voices it anyways. He and Marcille never share like “omg you’re pretty” moments or anything. Senshi gets more compliments than either of them through the series lmfao. Maybe Laios is asexual, maybe he simply doesn’t show outwardly his attraction much or even maybe isn’t self-aware about it, regardless… Laios HAS implied preference for Marcille’s looks in the past. With the orcs, he said that “tallmen like long ears”. Laios’ shapeshifter of Marcille has her hair down just like her succubus, which by Kui is explained to be because she had it down when she revived Falin and it really marked him, though it could also be interesting to see it as his mental image of her as her most authentic self, I’ve seen it theorized that it’s a preference too but I think that’s disproven. But of course the most damning evidence itself… The succubus scene. It could have been anyone else in the party, certainly Senshi shares Laios’ interest in monsters much more already. We shouldn’t discredit the way Laios was blushing madly once she revealed she was a monster, that made her more attractive to Laios for sure, but he still wouldn’t have reacted that way if it was just anyone. The contexts are very different, but we can compare it to how Laios reacted when Lycion turned into a wolf man in front of him for instance. Laios certainly doesn’t act that way with Izutsumi- and it’s confirmed like a page later that he does see Izutsumi as a monster already. AND!! Laios starts blushing madly BEFORE she says that she can turn him into a monster- and we can safely assume that the blush isn’t out of simple fluster but out of desire/infatuation since he clearly wants her to bite him in the next page and his blush does not relent at all.

There’s something we could say about Laios’ liking of Marcille being born out of companionship rather than aesthetic attraction, on familiarity and intimacy. As members of the same party they’ve spent a lot of time together and we’ve seen that Laios trusts in her and relies on her for her skillset and avice. If Laios’ interest in her developped more naturally and gradually, valuing the familiar bond they have, I don’t see why he’d be acting all blushy and lovesick every time they interact or whatever, which is the explanation I have for Marcille genuinely being Laios’ most alluring form but him not freezing at the sight of it. That could also be a reason why he physically rejects succubus!Marcille instinctively, because something about her feels off or different (which is sorta the most direct interpretation of the scene, since Laios’ first thought is that it can’t be Marcille and must be a monster).

 [Edited in: Oh my god. The picture above is the last page of the dullahan chapter, chapter 57, a chapter that centers around Laios and Marcille’s relationship through flashbacks as Laios is on the brink of death and sees his life flashing before his eyes (he remembers how they first met, etc, which is also interesting to note that on the brink of death he reminisces about her the most). The last page of that chapter, more or less the thesis of the chapter in which we see Laios opens up about the real reason he and Falin go dungeon diving to her after them having a rough meeting but she turns out to also have an interest in dungeons, has Laios go "she starts out frowning but she ends up smiling! Wether its’s about eating monsters or about me :)”. That chapter is the one right before th succubus chapters. Laios’ most alluring form wasn’t “just” Marcille, it’s a SMILING Marcille. Which is why the succubus had such a weird and off demeanor right away (which gets knocked off once it doesn’t work and becomes a more Marcille-like Marcille)! It was only focused on smiling because it was the angle it was working from.

Oh my god it makes sense. It’s a direct narrative link, it’s as explicitly put with its story structure without Kui just stating it, besides, you know, the many times Laios says how precious her smile is to him. He’s like “I love her smile” and right next chapter the succubus is like “yes this is what he likes seeing most”. But… This also does mean that the focus might be less romantic, like Marcille’s significance doesn’t diminish, but then the alluring form might be less about her and more about the smile itself. About having a friend who looks at him like that, about someone who smiles after eating monster dishes or surpassing obstacles together… Or it can actually be so much more romantic. Like, maybe the smiling Marcille doesn’t work is because well, it’s not like Marcille, she wouldn’t just be smiling like that and behave like that (esp since his musing is about how her smiles are sort of “earned”, that she doesn’t smile right away but it’s sort of like a rewarding sight when she does). So then the most alluring form of Marcille doesn’t work because she doesn’t convincingly BEHAVE like her. His most alluring form isn’t a Marcille-lookalike, it’s her as a whole. More on the succubus shifting/switching in its approach later.]

Anyways.

Where was I. Ah yes, “It could have been anyone else in the party, certainly Senshi shares Laios’ interest in monsters much more already.” But then that’s the point isn’t it. I think Laios’ succubus being Marcille is because his wish isn’t so much focused on her, or on becoming a monster, but on not being alone. On being understood. On having others finally share his interest. On not only becoming a monster, but having someone to share that with. A trusted friend, a companion, or a lover, it matters little in my interpretation, the bedrock of it stays the same. And this is why it’d be someone he already knew instead of someone new, because it’d defeat the point, and it was maybe Marcille because she’s the most vocal about finding monsters disgusting: it’d have finally been a shift in her that she now liked monsters. And again this brings back to when he talks about her smile, when he says that she starts out unhappy with eating monsters, but ends up smiling by the end of it. Her smile itself represents that though first impression or reflexive dislike, someone can turn around and end up liking it anyways, it’s hope for his interests to be liked and perhaps for him to be lovable as well, that it’s possible to be accepted.

But I do think it would be a mistake to say that there’s absolutely no romantic interest, that it’s plainly platonic or another kind of interest misplaced and idealized in her. What we saw with the other succubus is that they 100% act in ways that the person desires, sure Izutsumi’s start attacking after a while, but that was after pushing them over the edge, and succubus Marcille wasn’t being agressive nor did she have a reason to be (even when she could have with Laios’ choking, she didn’t turn to violence, so she was 100% still in seduction mode). Ultimately the goal of the succubus is to make physical contact to be able to suck their essence, but the way they go about achieving that is tailored to the individual’s desire, Marcille’s kissed her hand and Izutsumi’s offered a hug.  The succubus can identify and embody complex desires, often subconscious ones, shown with Izutsumi’s. They go straight to it without complex subterfuge either. Chilchuck’s succubi were very direct because that’s what he wanted, Marcille’s was courtly because that’s what she wanted, Izutsumi’s offered motherly comfort and affection because that’s what she wanted, and Laios’ is Marcille attempting to kiss him. Let that sink in.

Laios why are you choking the supposed key to your heart?

Ok so the theory that Laios’ desire is to have a deeper companionship from an existing companion is pretty tame and surface level I’d say, but strap in… The way Laios reacted violently to Marcille trying to kiss him is VERY interesting. The first thing he thinks about is that she isn’t Marcille so she must be a succubus, then confusion at to why it’s her. He’s even afraid of what the others would think, feeling… Shame? With how he imagines Marcille would be horrified that he likes her that way. Fear of rejection?

But no no, what interests me is the shift that the succubus makes. It seemed very confident at first, went straight in, but when overpowered shifted the direction it was going in- shifted from a desire for Marcille to a desire for a monster Marcille and whatever deeper desire that hides. But??? Succubi did not make mistakes as to what someone wanted thus far, possibly that has never ever happened before by human records. Could the succubus truly have miscalculated what Laios desires? It’d be hard to imagine that the succubus would misunderstand what type of companionship someone wished for or what approach to take, since it’s done complex cases before too, Izutsumi being very much in denial before it & at first. In Izutsumi’s case, even with her complex feelings over it and her two souls desiring different things, the succubus did not miss its mark, and ultimately it was having a second soul for who the succubus wasn’t alluring that allowed her not to be frozen to the spot. But with Laios the succubus fully switches strategy.

The thing is that succubi don’t usually need to switch strategies, because the form and approach they take always work and always leave the victim frozen. Izutsumi bypassed this because of her two souls, but was still frozen and struggling to reject the succubus at first. And yet? Laios did. A succubus’ victim is supposed to be instantly frozen, and yet Laios acts on instinct and defensively agressive as soon as his reaction time allows. And well, it’s hard to really come to a logical conclusion as to why, since we have no idea of what rules can override a succubus’ temptation besides multiple souls… C’mon regular Marcille can’t be the winged lion/kenksuke’s desire bc of the loose hair being Laios’ mind-Marcille we’ve gone over this /hj Although, since it’s confirmed that the winged lion was watching with the dream Laios gets induced right after, maybe he’s what allowed Laios to be moving? It’s possible that it’d have frozen him otherwise, even if Laios with his full rationale wouldn’t have accepted the kiss faced with supernatural allure he might have gotten paralysis from being overwhelmed, similarly to how if Chilchuck had his full rationale he wouldn’t allow a woman like his succubus to kiss him (he’s always stayed faithful to his wife even after 4 years of separation, give the guy his earned credit). Getting somewhat offtopic, but something to say about how if that’s the case once again the theme of ‘irrational desire you crave vs what you truly want/need’ that is present throughout the manga would be reflected.

My best guess however on why Laios reacted so quickly and forcefully is: trauma. The more recent arcs with Laios suggest that Laios has deep-seated trauma over humans. He dislikes humans as a whole, that was like, pretty much stated, though perhaps exaggerated. As a kid he fantasized about monsters wiping out human towns. We know Laios has been ostracized for most of his life by others, in his village and in the military, and beyond social rejection it’s shown he got beaten in group too and it was implied that it happened regularly. But damn, disliking humans to the point of wanting to be a monster and murderous genocidal reclusive envies and all of that stuff? That is massive trauma, massive identity & belonging issues and hint at massive trust issues.

So then, the negative reaction could be because of Laios’ deep trauma with humans. Because of trauma getting activated, not due to a miscalculation on the succubus’ part but due to a contradicting dislike of the desire that makes the form inherently and straight out of the gate un-alluring, Laios’ repression being so strong that he’s able to affect his own desires in that way, or an instinctive defense response to the trigger (a human).   Even though Laios hides it well, once again recent arcs (and some other moments) make it clear that Laios still has some innate dislike of humans, which in canon is a term that all races like elves fit in. He has a bias against them, perhaps even an innate distrust of them. Who knows how aware he is of it, or how much control and will he has over it. What if Laios reacting agressively to it was his defense mode tied to this kicking in, a survival and security instinct, stopping any possibility of Laios wanting a romantic relationship with a human? Any chance of that human getting close and being hurt by it, either rejected or stabbed in the back? It’d then make sense if Laios is unaware and doesn’t understand his attraction to Marcille then, if it’s a sort of self-made blockage, denial. And that’d make full sense with how, when Marcille is suddenly a monster, then all of Laios’ reluctance is gone and he’s fully enthralled, all that it took was taking away that one blockage for Laios to be utterly charmed. It takes away the trigger element, humans, and replaces it for something safer. A desire for connections, but connections with people that are ‘safe’, people who also don’t fit in with society, who are part of his interest in monsters, who would accept and understand him. I think that Laios does desire human connections, specifically, but can’t allow himself to pursue them either from conscious or unconscious trauma, so though he does desire it he can’t accept that he does/can’t accept the relationship even if it’s handed to him on a silver platter.

Conclusion

The succubus’ shift could then be either that it switched from one wish, a wish for Marcille, to another, a wish for companionship in monster-liking, or that it stayed on the same fundamental wish, but had to improvise with the new information (that Laios is human-averse)(not bc it didn’t exist previously but bc it wasn’t manifested) to take out of the equation the thing that was holding Laios back (from giving in).

But well, the fact that the rest of the party is included does lean towards the former, but in any case that doesn’t erase all I’ve spoken about, all about how Marcille is 100% the focus of this whole thing. It could still be a bit of both. But it is interesting that he worries about the party’s reaction to seeing his succubus being Marcille, and when she shifts into monster Marcille he *still* worries about the others: “b-but what about the others?” He’s a mess, with his most alluring form seducing him, and he still has a shred of resistance in him to question how the others would react, and it’s only when she says that they’re already monsters too that he truly gives in. Is he really so afraid of ostracization? Of losing the people he cares about due to judgement? Then the mention of the others in the party can simply be something the succubus added on top to unlock another “blockage”, the same way she added Marcille being a monster on top of the basic premise of Marcille; Take out the immediate dismissal of humans first, and then the fear of loss and judgement from other friends so Laios can finally stop worrying and give in. That worry/framing I’d say makes the latter more credible, because it’s not the premise of the alluring form but an extra.

In the end, like the recent arcs kind of spell out, the thing central to Laios’ character is less so a love for monsters and moreso a dislike for humans, and this is what this puts on full display.

Laios’ most alluring form is Marcille, a human that doesn’t understand his interests and thus him, and regardless of everything else that Marcille is, that is so traumatic to him that all of his being immediately rejects it.

—

Thanks for coming to my ted talk! I’ve spent so much time thinking about this and wording and rewording this same train of thought, also it’s the end of my college semester and I’m going crazy

Tldr: My personal fav theory for Laios’ succubus is that Laios really values Marcille’s smile a ton like it’s often mentioned, and that’s what his most alluring form centers on. I’ve got a ton of different interpretation on the why it’d go for a kiss? Since it tailors its approach to the person’s desires, but obviously something goes wrong with Laios’, which is really interesting because even with Izutsumi who resists because she has 2 souls so one part of her can always remain unaffected, the succubus hit bullseye on her most alluring forms. But regardless of that, I think his desire for Marcille (either her or what she represents, wether as a platonic ideal or something else) isn’t wrong/untrue perse, but that Laios has such a complex with humans and intimacy and connecting with others that his defense mode kicks in and that’s when the succubus has to shift into a different, safer desire: one that doesn’t involve humans but that still shows connections and acceptance and belonging. Also Laios realizes that it isn’t Marcille when she goes in for the kiss, which if his allure for her is based on familiarity since they’re friends and all could make sense that it’d break him away from it, or since it’s a liking based on familiarity he doesn’t freeze, or maybe it’s because the winged lion has its eye on him. I think that’s so much more likely with how Kui makes even her jokes be character moments or at least consistent, and also with the tension of the scene, than just the scene being a gag about how Marcille doesn’t mean much to Laios actually.

I think there’s a lot to be said about why Marcille is special to Laios, why her smile means something to him, etc, and I don’t think saying Marcille is special to him is exaggeration or reaching at all. Laios, Marcille and Falin are the golden trio, she’s the deuteragonist, she’s the only other character in the main party whose goal in going back for Falin is Falin and who has a bond with her and Laios outside of being coworkers, in post-canon they live together, happily, in the anime’s ending they’re emphased on by dining out all three together... I could go on.   Marcille has the benefit of being very trusted by Laios, not only with the time they’ve spent together but how she was Falin’s friends first, the person he himself feels so protective of and has been so consistently ostracized throughout her life. Marcille represents a positive odd one out that’s like, the good example of "humanity can be good and safe and warm actually".  Which is a big reason why imo Marcille is like, the secondary protag and with Falin they form the golden trio. She’s central to the story in many ways including making Laios see that humanity is worth saving and sticking with, but that’s a topic for another analysis. One such reason is how his first meeting with her went: it started really badly but ended with her coming around and unexpectedly sharing their interest in dungeons, which made him and Falin open up about the real reason they go dungeon diving, perhaps for the first time. There is just so much that goes into it but Laios seems generally very expectant of rejection: in the climax chapters after he transformed back as a human and was hiding out in the woods, pre-canon in an extra where we see him battling himself on if he should suggest eating monsters or not. But another one, the one I truly want to bring up in this post, is how genuine Marcille is! And funnily enough, how dramatic she is, and how her elf ears change position depending on her emotions. Like, let me compare her affectionately to a dog for a second, but dogs move their ears and use whole body language to communicate, and I think that part of Marcille, really strong emoting, with her ears and body language on top of her often dramatic facial expressions, reassure him. Like ok, maybe he can’t tell when Shuro and Kabru would lie to him, but Marcille? She wears her heart on her sleeve and her feelings on her whole self. And that takes away some of the stress and trauma he has with humans, explains why her smiles would “put him at ease”, doesn’t it?

I don’t remember wether I’ve mentioned this somewhere or just in my reblog linked at the end of the post, but while at first I thought the succubus going for a kiss on the lips heavily implied a romantic desire in Laios,  now I have a couple different theories on why the succubus would have gone for that approach. I think the most likely is that, if the principal allure of his succubus is her smile, the succubus is like "as long as he sees her face right up until i can suck up his blood and he passes out I’ll be gucci", so it’s not about the kiss but about him seeing her face all the while until the very last moment, so he stays charmed.

Btw chapter 34 explores Laios’ relationship with touch too imo, and we see that he is uncomfortable with touch to some degree, very unsure and hesitant and tense. I feel like it’s something more shown in a bigger picture sense with his whole struggles with humans and extras, than just in any one page so go reread the beginning of that chapter if you want I’d say, but putting a page below as example anyways. I think it’s notable that it’s a character moment shared with Marcille too, she acts sort of like a bridge to humanity with social propriety and being extroverted in many cases. In the chapter Chil and Marcille point out how awkward he is with touch, but he learns to be casual/comfy enough about touch to do healing magic with her (something that was also enforced through him having to practice magic on Marcille turned to stone, he got a lot of touch exposure and magic practice done in those days. Dammit Laios, MArcille and touch is worthy of a whole analysis of its own). She’s just like, his human comfort zone, even if they aren’t that close at least at first, besides Falin he has literally like no friends and I think that itself shows how he doesn’t fit in well socially and that it’s a significant struggle for him. But yes what I was saying here is I believe there’s setup for him recoiling from touch like he did with the succubus (due to an instinctive aversion to touch made especially intense due to the succubus’ oddness and forwardness).

I have even more theories and rambling on details on the succubus here in a reblog, but unless I want to put in some pictures of Laios repressing himself around others and such I don’t think I’ll be touching this post again in a while

skateboarding isn't that hard guys I promise (ZeexEmma)

a/n: this is literally the first time I've EVER written a fanfic so I apologize if this is crummy. There were no cooks in the kitchen so I had to make my own food. I don't have an ao3 account so imma have to slap it here until I can get one! enjoy! Emma has never touched a skateboard in her life despite her athleticism. She always gravitated more toward things like tennis or volleyball. But finding out that one of her good friends did skateboard she decided she wanted to try. So they agreed to meet at the skatepark after school. It can't be as hard as riding a bike right?

Oh how wrong she was. 

"Hey ems you don't have to get on the board if you're not ready," Zee assures, noticing Emma's nervous expression. She's seen people skateboarding on TV before. Chase even used them in his stupid pranks but has never actually tried to ride one before. She was now remembering all those epic skateboarding fail compilations she's seen go viral online. But she was ready! Emma made sure to get the proper protective gear before asking Zee to teach her. 

"Don't worry Zee I'm ready! Besides, I always get a bit nervous before doing stuff like this." Emma replied. She didn't want Zee to think she feared a board with wheels.

"Alright, well first you get on the board. Remember balance is important and so is staying chill." Zee demonstrates by standing on his board with the greatest of ease. They take a swig of their soda while balancing on the board. "Easy as one, two…uhhhh.." zee trails off. "Three?" Emma finished. "Yea! Three! There are so many numbers to keep track of, it's crazy!" Zee laughed and Emma giggled. Zee got off their board and gestured to Emma to give it a go. "Your turn ems!" Emma took a deep breath and slowly placed her right foot on the board feeling it shift slightly. Then her left foot, keeping her feet on the two couples of screws that are screwed into the board. "That's it ems!" Zee cheered. "Bend your knees a bit to give yourself more balance." Zee bent their knees as an example. Emma mimicked Zee and felt the board roll a bit to the right causing her to yelp in surprise. She instinctively started holding her arms up to keep her balance, making her wobble a bit. "Woah! Easy skateboard!." She nervously shouted. Zee rushed behind Emma just in case she fell. "Don't worry ems if you happen to slip I got you. You won't fall." Zee assures. "Thanks, Zee." Emma calmed down and was back to being balanced on the board. “Do you want me to push you a bit so you can get used to the board moving?” zee asked. “ Totally! If I can't skateboard I at least wanna feel like I can” Zee smiled. “Cool! Alright here we go, keep your arms out ems." Zee gingerly held Emma's waist and began to push Emma across the skate park. Starting slow but gradually gaining speed until Zee was lightly jogging across the pavement. “WOHOOO! THIS IS SO MUCH FUN ZEE!” Emma laughed. Zee grinned looking at Emma's excited face. However, Zee probably should've focused on the ground because they tripped on a rock causing Zee to let go of Emma. Emma shrieked waving her arms in the air as her skateboard speeds to a chain link fence. “Emma look out!” Zee bolted off the ground and sprinted to the board and pulled Emma off, but being a string bean meant that he wasn't able to hold her. Zee folded like a lawn chair but was able to shield Emma from the impact of falling on the pavement and landed on Zee’s lap. “OMG zee are you ok?” Emma looked down at Zee. “Yup..im ok!” Zee gives a weak thumbs up as they open their eyes to see Emma above them. Emma’s face softened when seeing her friend had no series injuries. “I'm just glad you didn't get hurt bro” They smile at each other before Emma realized how close their faces were. Emma's face gains a light pink hue and bolts up. “Haha yea, that was so much fun! We should totally do this again sometime or not I don't know whatever you like haha!” Zee gets up and walks to the fence to grab their board. “Yea, I think we should pause the skateboarding lessons until tomorrow. Wanna go get some ice cream?” Emma's face brightened with excitement while putting her skateboarding gear in her backpack. “Heck yea! You buying?” “Who said I was?” “Says me Hezekias” Emma taunts. “Well considering I did save your life today id say you owe me one” Zee gives a triumphant look at Emma and she caves. “Alright alright fine.” She grins and gives Zee a soft punch on the arm while the two walk to the ice cream parlor nearby.

Jo hi!! How are you doing lovely?

I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie Love Actually, but there’s this scene that made me think of Bakugou and I thought it was hilarious and cute.

So there’s this kid (Liam Neeson plays his dad) who likes his classmate and I think he was nervous about telling her how he feels. Towards the end of the movie, he’s playing the drums and the girl is singing All I want for Christmas is You and you know the part of the song at the end where she sings the “all I want for Christmas is… You!” and she points at the boy and he smiles… but then she starts pointing at other people and his smile drops and I couldn’t help but think of Bakugou doing the exact same thing! 😂😂

Like imagine you’re the lead singer of the group and Bakugou’s playing the drums and he has a huge crush on you, but he never knows what to say to you so he’s hella awkward around you. But slowly, he’s been building up the courage to talk to you, he’s just in awe of you and thinks you’re the greatest person he’s ever met.

And when it comes to singing that song, you do the same thing where you point to him and he smiles. Like he’s so happy you’re finally seeing him, but then he gets pissed because you start pointing at others in the crowd and he gets annoyed because that should only be reserved for him.

When I saw that, I thought it was so cute but hilarious at the same time. Like I can definitely see Bakugou doing the exact same thing, pouting and being grumpy 😂😂 little does he know, we have a huge crush on him too 💕

NO OKAY HOLD ON HOLD THE PHONE.

Because Love Actually is one of my favourite movies.

And I’ve headcanoned Bakugou being Andrew Lincoln’s character. The one who’s the best friend/wedding photographer and he’s completely in love with his best friends wife. And she thinks he hates her because he’s always a prick to her, but it’s because he’s so in love with her he keeps trying to push her away? And on Christmas Day he brings the queue boards and does the whole “to me, you are perfect.”🥺😭 like… just Bakugou.

But I’m back back on track with your ask hello!!!

Omg he’d be fucking livid if you did that to him, especially with his fat crush on you🥺 he’d be so pouty and grumpy about it. Kirishima would have to tell him that it was just a song, and if he likes you he should just give it a shot😭💕

Young Royals Season 2 Spoilers: Top Wilmon Parallels

So I like many idiots, stayed up all night last night binging the second season, and all I have to say is what the fuck. This was the slowest slow burn I’ve ever willingly put myself through. I will probably be doing more young royals posts over the next couple of days just because. Here are my top 3 scenes that paralleled season 1 once again making me fall in love with Wilmon.

When Marcus comes over to Simon’s house and asks about the fishes names. (I was screaming in my mind at 3am in the morning Simon you lil fuck don’t tell him) and he said they had no names…like you can’t tell me that this boy is not deeply in love with Wilhelm. It was just a nice parallel to one of the greatest Wilhelm scenes every to exist. Only Wilhelm gets to know the fishes names just as only Wilhelm gets the keys to Simon’s heart.

The curtain scene. When watching our favorite Swedish boys get together again. I as other people were thinking was like omg close the curtain! And then Wilhelm gets up in between kisses, closes the curtain and Simon gives him the sweetest smile and it’s just perfection. Omar and Edving literally are like the greatest actors. It was the perfect passive aggressive response to the sex tape scandal. As if Wilhelm said only I can get this time with Simon, because he is my love. It was just the moment they needed since the first time was ruined by fucking August.

The last scene. Let me just tell you the last episode of season 2 just killed me, there was so much drama. And just the whole Sara stuff.. I just was ready to slam my laptop shut, as I saw August walk up to give the speech…but then Wilhelm gave it, and he did the one thing he promised Simon he would do last season. It was the perfect parallel to end this second season as Simon confessed his love, and Wilhelm did the same but in his own way by bringing himself down and admitting it was him in the sex tape, so Simon could see how much he meant to Wilhelm. Like Simon this boy just ruined his reputation for you, that’s how much he love you!! I literally love these boys so much and the smiles at the end.I can’t. They are in love your honor

In return I am terrified now for season three as both princes of the throne have huge scandals thrown at them now. Both attacking each other. Also just for Wilhelm’s anxiety like I can’t put into words how this is the best portrayal of anxiety I’ve ever seen, but also the scariest since it is so realistic to what I as well as others deal with. Yet now that Wilmon is once again canon I believe they can handle anything. To finish this off fuck August. Fuck Jon Olaf or whatever the fuck his name is, and fuck Wilhelm’s parents. Love you Simon, love you Wilhelm you’re doing great sweeties.

a love story in movie nights sounds adorable omg

kalmsfd it was the first idea i ever had for a buddie fic!!!! and truly it is. okmasf like idk it's my cherished child that just sits there in my wips bc it's such an undertaking but basically i wanted to follow buck and eddie through their movie nights, like with and without chris, through like all the seasons until they get together. please have a snippet bc i have never shared any of this fic and i do still think it is very sweet:

“God, it’s been years since I saw The Princess Bride,” Eddie says wistfully - and Buck can’t help it, he turns to Eddie, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“The - what?”

“The…” Eddie trails off, and frowns at Buck’s expression.

“Are we playing the Buck’s never seen a movie game again?” Chimney asks from the kitchen.

“I’ve seen a movie,” Buck insists, twisting around to glare at Chim, who’s leaning with his elbows on the counter just to give Buck a shit-eating grin.

“Your sister taking you to see Tarzan one time when you don’t even remember it does not count,” Chim insists.

“I just - didn’t watch a lot of movies, growing up,” Buck says, and he knows he’s doing that thing where he sounds like a kid - where he gets all whiny and defensive, but Eddie’s still got that look on his face, and the jokes don’t feel very funny all of a sudden.

“You’ve never seen The Princess Bride?” Eddie asks, nudging Buck’s shoulder with just the point of his knuckle, where his arm is resting up on the back of the couch.

Buck hopes he’s not flush with embarrassment - but his face feels warm. “I don’t even know what that is.”

He braces himself for the usual reaction Chim gives him, the disbelief and the list of reasons his life is meaningless because he’s never seen some movie he’s never even heard of, but instead - Eddie smiles. “You’ve really - you’ve seriously never seen it.”

“No, I don’t-” Buck launches into a defense, but Eddie’s smile turns into a full-on grin, and very abruptly, Buck can’t get his vocal cords to work anymore.

“That is the best news I’ve gotten all week.”

Laughing in disbelief, Buck tries to frown, but can’t quite manage it. “Is this some new way of giving me a hard time about it? Because I promise, Chim’s got you beat-”

“Are you kidding? You still get to watch one of the greatest movies ever made for the first time - I’d been saving it for when I thought Chris was old enough, but I think we’re getting there. You should come over and watch it with us.”

Buck waits for the punchline, but instead, Eddie just sits there, still smiling, eyebrows raised expectantly, offering Buck just - a ticket to Diaz family movie night, for no reason at all except he wants Buck to watch a movie with them. “Really?” he asks, embarrassingly close to getting choked up.

The Marauders & co would be lost without James Potter. 💯

And I mean all of them Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, and anyone else we might headcanon as being close to them (personally I love the idea of James and Marlene being besties since they were in diapers. The brother and sister the other never had)  Like they all needed that man in their lives. He taught them about acceptance, real friendship, loyalty, love, and so much more. He was a voice of reason, a moral compass, a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, and endless other things. Like this a fact no matter how one chooses to see these relationships. And like I just love that for them you know? We all need a James in our lives. I’m so soft for that man😫 Like he was just like the greatest friend/partner ever and nobody can change my mind. 🥹🥰

Sorry if this is super random. I just needed to gush about James for a moment. ❤️

omG NO!! PLS DONT APOLOGISE!! james always gets the *least* amount of love and i’ve been fuming about it for literal years at this point (at least 4, i think) so seeing this in my inbox is the best thing ever.

and also i agree with u so so hard. i know people have talked about the centrality of james wrt marauders with actual points to back it up but yanno im not competent enough for that—this is a vibes-only zone. and james? the absolute best vibes ever.

i think i’ve read a fic or two where james and marlene are besties and honestly, the more people who love him, the better. and i do think everyone can learn something from him! he’s such a good person and all his traits—kindness, bravery, confidence, self love, optimism—are things the people around him absorb through osmosis. god i love him so much he’s my precious little bean.

i’ve always seen him as a protector. it’s one of my hcs that he used to be on first name basis with all the kids (esp the first years) bc he’d introduce himself on like, the first day and just acts like a big brother ykno? (lonely rich kid rattling around in a huge empty mansion itching to pick up strays anyone?) and that’s one of the reasons why he’s just so goddamn popular—because he’s always looking out for others.

and of course, it’s always dialled up around his people. i’ve mentioned this in my prongsfoot tattoos fic but i think he was always accessible to everyone but he only really let down his hair, so to say, around a very select few. his golden boy reputation is a matter of pride for him and he works hard to maintain it but behind closed doors? all bets are off

hi honey 🕊💌

first thank you for your warmest words and kindness , you aren’t late I send it today in between my sessions 📖🥺🥹😭❤️

I’m so happy for you <3 congratulations 🎉, hope you can follow your dream and become someone you want to be ~ plus I wish you a lot of positive experiences 🥰💪🏻🎉 👩🏻‍⚕️

Ukraine 😔 I miss everyone so much , I miss my home 🏡 my dog ( I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to go there back one day and if it’s not ruined by weapons and bombs .😣😞

I really appreciate your support , like so much that tbh it feels unreal ❤️

Today I’m having a very hard day I haven’t been crying for about 2 weeks I think , as long as I can remember, but today I did like 4 times (( thank you for kind words , I actually took a screenshot to read them again 🥺💝

Today I was sitting and thinking that I’m so tired .. I’m so exhausted always looking for acceptance , always expecting ppl to be nice to me, like same I am to them..

I’m enfj and I think it’s the most insecure type of all of them I read the profile and it says I’m always looking for acceptance , validation and praise from others … and that’s true , I don’t know what kind of creature -freak am I ? .. z, feeding and living literally for others approval 😔

Did you name your niece ?:) I guess you might have some family business going on but ! Don’t worry posting ff late , pls STAY day is on august 3 heh omg 🤧🥰😍🥰

Also don’t forget about your own happiness and well being , I hope you are surrounded with support and love ☺️😇😍

Have you got any other dreams recently ?

What books 📚 have you bought?

Could you pls put a link somewhere for that fic with hy + sunghoon? So it’s easier for me to find 🥲💓

Todays song recommendation , also feel free to share smth with me🤗💖

Good night & have a nice day / morning , everything that you are having atm. Sending hugs. And I love YOU TOO🥺🥹💗

~ 🐁 anonie:)

Hi anonie 😭🥺💕🤧 first of all the jakey heart pics omg🫠🤧 (hit me right in the gut and heart) and our baby riki pic 💝🥹 aaah the greatest start to a message! Ahh it must be quite devasting right?:( like you’ve suddenly been thrown into a nightmare and everything feels so so foreign and frustrating. There’s no guarantee if you’ll ever be able to go to your country/home back and I picture you feeling so lonely. *pats on the shoulder* please stay strong. And keep working towards finding a new home, focusing on jobs for now. Life sometimes gets so unpredictable and it feels like everything’s over and you’ve lost, but a bad turn doesn’t mean you’ve hit a dead end. New doors always open and it’s very tough at the start but later on, you will reach a beautiful destination I promise. 💓 and I am literally an enfj too? My personality is a mix of ENFJ and ENFP. So I understand what you’re talking about. We’re very loyal and people’s person and that’s why it easily affects us when we’re not kindly treated by those around us. And getting other’s people approval/acknowledgment makes us feel so valid. But truth is, I adjusted myself to the reality of this world long time back. Not everyone is gonna be nice to you or be grateful to you no matter how nice you are to them or how much you help them. It’s some people’s nature. That doesn’t mean you have to stop being a nice and kind person to everyone around you. Just try to give without expecting anything in return ok? That’s how I’ve trained my mindset and I’m able to be happy now no matter what. As for the validation thing, I am not a confident person either and I have high self doubts and anxiety. I feel like I’m not good enough in a lot of cases and I often seek approval from others around me BUT I have changed that (and am still trying to) I have decided to be my own cheerleader. I tell myself that I’m worth it, I’m doing my best, I am enough etc. I find my spirits and acknowledgement from ME MYSELF. Bc think of it this way. No one knows your efforts more than you or god, so why do u let others who haven’t seen how hard you tried tell u that you’re bad/good at something? Don’t give anyone that right. To hold authority over how you feel about yourself my love. 💞 and don’t criticise yourself for being this way. There’s nothing wrong in yearning for others’ affection or approval or attention. Human beings were always created to be with eachother, no human being can exist alone. It’s how we were made by default.

And yes I did name my niece haha her name was decided even before she was born😆! Ill show u all the books directly when they arrive- reading books give me all this maturity since they’re always about young adult/slice of life/romance. Here is the link to my most favourite songs by bebe rexha that helped me so much in my rough times.( I’m a mess , sabotage , empty ) And ofc the link to my two fan fictions that involve hyunjin x sunghoon crossovers! (When you fangirl too much over another idol) & (when they find out their crush is dating another idol )

As of now I don’t have any other dreams 😛 apart from making tons of precious memories that I’ll be able to take with me for the next chapter of my life. Binge read books, Netflix dramas and animes, watch kpop comebacks and ofc go out with my best friend! 👯💞 I am friendly with almost everyone but I have only one best friend! Piece of advice to you: be friendly and nice with everyone but let only a few people get close to your heart. Since we get hurt easily and expect easily, don’t let your heart break by letting too many people in. 💘 have an even better day, much love & warm hugs! 🤗❤️

Let Somebody Love You

A funny thing happens when you let people into your life…you start loving yourself more.

One of the greatest gifts of 2023 was reconnecting with a group of friends from high school. When our family was at the beach over the summer, I ran into a girl I went to high school with and she invited me to be a part of a group text with some of our high school friends. I quickly came to realize that what she invited me to be a part of is so much more than a group text…it’s a support group and it has been amazing. We not only text, we get together once a month and OMG, it is so much fun! The first time I went to one of our get-togethers…my face hurt from laughing.

Admittedly, high school wasn’t the best time in my life and 2 years ago, I would have told you that most of these girls didn’t even like me, which was only my projection on them. I had gotten it into my head that I would never be part of their group for some reason and that was the silliest thing i the world for me to have thought.

I have reconnected with girls that I hadn’t previously seen for 30 years and now, I feel like I have a whole new group of friends that actually support and love me. As I said above, high school wasn’t the best time for me and this reconnecting has actually healed a part of me that I had given up on. The support and friendship of this group has made me feel more loveable and the biggest thing is…it’s made me want to love more.

Being on the receiving end of love and support makes you understand how important it is to also be the person to give love and support. Now, I want to take people birthday presents, send cards…I want to be the person to provide comfort when someone is going through a bad time.

When my mom passed away over Christmas, the outpouring of support and love from my friends (not just this group) was overwhelming. I still have cards coming and I’ve received so many texts that made me weep because they were so sweet.

So, the Golden Nugget, or gift from my mom’s passing, has been the simple but not so simple lesson of accepting love. I do believe people want to be and do good…I do believe that love always wins and I do believe that it’s healing to accept love and support when it’s offered. You get what you give and you give what you get. I have been given the gift of friendship and it feels like the best gift ever.

I’m including these images in this post because I’m wearing my mom’s fur coat. She loved this coat and I’ve worn it off and on in the past, but now, I’m going to wear it more often. I know that fur can be controversial, but I do feel that vintage fur is okay to wear and especially when the coat belonged to someone you loved. So in her honor, I’ll be wearing this gorgeous coat much more often on the cold days of winter!

You never know what a year will hold and looking back, there is always a gift…if you choose to see it!

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 243

The Witch’s Familiar

It was both a mistake and a wonderful decision to move my Sherlock viewing. It was completely necessary, but it did fuck up the schedule quite a bit (so did forgetting that I don’t have to watch Supernatural on federal holidays. I never said this was an easy schedule to follow. Because I’m still kind of ridiculously behind on Doctor Who from imdb forgetting like five whole episodes. It’s fine though because i gave myself a LOT of time off at the holidays and I can just plop an episode or two on those days)

“The Witch’s Familiar”

Plot Description: The Doctor is trapped and alone on the terrifying planet Skaro

One thing I forgot from last episode, I know I’m now in uncharted DW territory for me because the Doctor has his stupid sonic sunglasses or whatever now. And I remember a friend of mine telling me that has happened when I first fell off and thinking that was the dumbest sounding thing I’d ever heard. This was, of course, before Season 4 of Sherlock aired (THANKS MOFFAT)

Oh thank god Missy’s back IMMEDIATELY this episode. I do not know what I would do if I had to actually mourn the temporary loss of my two bad bitch milfs for longer than 24 hours. Clara is also back

Why did they do this to poor Clara? This is the least flattering angle I’ve ever seen for her. She’s absolutely gorgeous, but why would they do this?

Do I wish Missy and Clara could talk about anything other than the Doctor? Oh my god yes. I understand they’re trying to find him and all (and he thinks he’s going to die) but literally every conversation they have is about him. The talks they DO have are fun and interesting but I’d love some expansion. It’s not every day you get a team up of the Doctor’s companion and one of his greatest foes

Why is the Doctor sitting in Davros’s chair/like…lower half of his body?? Hang on why isn’t the Doctor back in Davros’s past like he was at the end of last episode. STEVEN! You have some explaining to do. Or is that HOW he gets to the past? He steals that and has a bunch of Daleks nearly exterminate him

Dalek sewers are SLIGHTLY ALIVE?! No because…I love that she gets to just be unrepentantly evil. Absolutely amoral. She just pushed Clara down into the sewer to gauge how far down it went

Skaro is horrifying….why is the Dalek word for sewer and graveyard the same, STEVEN? Make that make sense

Here’s the thing I like even less than the sonic sunglasses…at least the sunglasses were a step even further back from a weapon…why’s the Doctor holding an actual weapon, STEVEN?

Missy telling Clara to get in the Dalek…outer shell…ominous. Makes me wonder if they’re going to close that circuit of how we first met Clara or if whatever the fuck happened at the end of season 7 negated that, started a whole new timeline

Ooooooo, it’s been a moment since the Doctor’s been tempted to commit genocide. Allegedly, pulling on one or more of these cables would kill Davros, which would in turn kill every Dalek on Skaro. Do I believe it? I dunno, but the Doctor is at least interested

THAT’s more like it. He came here because Davros is sick and he asked. Because on a good day, he’s not some time lord who ran away, he’s the Doctor (I’ll admit, those were some good lines, Steven)

I’m not mad at Missy but omg I’m about to fucking sob at the Dalek outer shell closing up around Clara and hearing her words in the Dalek voice. I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

It’s terrible to hear “exterminate” come out when Clara is compelled to say three word she said she’d never say to anyone ever again. I know Missy couldn’t have had that context, and she’s having fun experimenting with what this Dalek armor actually does but GOD…

I’m trying so hard to not trust this very emotional scene from Davros. It’s BARELY working. Not knowing exactly what happened on that field or how he got there in the first place as a child IS muddying the waters

I did not expect to get worked up over Davros asking the Doctor if he did the right thing, if he was a good man. What the hell

I BET this nice moment gets ruined when the Doctor takes him outside

Of COURSE it was too good to be truuuue. I don’t know why the Doctor would give up ANY REGENERATION ENERGY TO DAVROS. Now, it’s being sapped out of him

Thank god Missy can be brutal and use weapons. Not that it has seemed to make much of a difference, but I suppose it could be worse??? I don’t know how. The Daleks have been made more powerful through gaining that regeneration energy

Of COURSE the Doctor already knew what Davros’s plan was….SOMEHOW. And how to combat it…SOMEHOW. (The Daleks in the sewer/graveyard also gained the regeneration energy and are now seeping into the walls of the city)

Omg…Clara is trying SO HARD to tell him it’s her and Missy’s trying equally as hard to deceive the Doctor

I don’t know how she’ll get out of that, but I know Missy will

Oh finally. We’re back to the end of last episode. He DID save Davros as a child.

OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN DICKINSON??? i loved it sooo much!!!! 😨😭😭💕 emisue made an actual crumbled piece of paper of my heart, i felt that relationship too closely and more so because of the actresses’ chemistry. like honestly i haven’t seen such a real and emotional media representation in a looong time and that needs to be well recognised! BUT YES the ivy references are SO obvious, it is for sure one of her greatest lgbt+ coded songs and a lot of straight swifties agree that the vibes are unquestionable!!! especially if you’ve watched that show too, like goddamn it just HITS (different) sksksk oh and i love watching fanvideos as well!

no need to apologise for rambling bestie!! i also do it and your replied put my fangirl shoes on lmao but to answer your questions; yes i’m excited about speak now tv because it’s another rerecording plus new content from the vault! though tbh i’m probably more excited about the rest. like i know for a fact 1989 and reputation are gonna bury me alive, i cannot even prepare myself for that. but i agree!!! mine is SO GOOD and it also has lgbt+ vibes imo! along with wonderland and cruel summer ofc, iykyk!! haha my faves from speak now are mine, better than revenge, last kiss, haunted and long live. so those are the ones i’m waiting for the most! ✨

ohh great, i’m a yntcd/me supporter too!! they don’t deserve the slander they get, i really don’t get it! i wish i had a vinyl player though… i’ve always loved vintage stuff and it’s a shame they’re so expensive, but i trust you 100% the sound coming from them must be something unparalleled. OMG wait you have tattoos!!! woah those look SO pretty, i’m obsessed! i’d say i’m more of a piercings girl but me and my gf have been discussing to get ourselves Seven tattoos, so that’s the one i’m wishing for (another great lgbt+ song if you ask me, also cowboy like me!) but my fave is rep, definitely another gay coded album if you just feel it that way… or i’m probably too gay for my own sake and i just like to queer code everything 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

alright this got unexpectedly long and i’m so sorry! please feel free to answer whenever you can and feel like to, no pressure here!! i just got too excited sharing these little things with you and getting ideas for a perfect gift! 💌😋 but i’ll see you soon, lots of love ! - 🌈

hiii hiii <33 sorry it took me some time to answer i had a crazy weekend and i was on vacation so i kind of stayed out of tumblr for most of it!

and yes ofc i’ve seen dickinson! i had like a whole dickinson era, i literally bought “open me carefully” but i haven’t even finished reading it because i’m having so much feels every time i’m opening this book but like. AHHHH how can people just say they were “best friends” or whatever? and i remember when i watched it and i was in my dickinson era i even started writing some draft about emisue + ivy. it’s actually not so popular tv show which kind of makes me sad because she’s soooo good! i didn’t got into the dickinson fandom actually but idk i haven’t seen many edits or headcanons. but ofc in ao3 there are great fics! and yes yes i agree with everything you had to say! the chemistry between the actress was so rare and it one of the best wlw representation we had in the recent years!

god i hope that in 1989 tv she’s gonna add a bonus track of style ft. harry styles because it’s been my dream since 2014 and i literally do not care about anything else. oh, and need (from the leaks) feels like a reputation tv vault to me?? like i feel it in the same vibe of ✨dress✨ but she couldn’t include both so she basically gave up on need for dress but i love dress so much as well so i’m like? i want to have both but. i don’t know if i’ll ever gonna get both, y’know? 😂

also yes now that you mention it rep has some gay vibes i haven’t noticed before!! like dress? getaway car?? gorgeous?? “only bought this dress so you could take it off”??? I MEAN HELLO also in a parallel universe it could be fitting for emisue! hmm maybe i will edit them with dress one day… we shall see….

and omg yeah seven tattoos could be so cool!!! and thank you i really love my tattoos <3 kind of funny to me how both of these songs I tattooed (ivy / august) talking about cheating and having illicit affair in a sense AMFHKFK but out of context i just really love the sentence of “to live for the hope of it all” idk how to explain it

can’t wait to hear from you again!! <3

OMG 😆 This is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen 🤣😂 🙌🏻“The Last Of Us” ~ Pug Version🧟‍♂️🐱🍄🙌🏻

NO WAYYY that’s actually so funny omg what a coincidence haha!! But yeah, it’s such a beautiful movie! I can’t get enough of it and I have not yet seen any other musician’s biopic that has been as good as Rocketman. Have you seen any other biopics about musicians?

The Stranger is such a good album and so are all of those songs! I’m also into Queen’s most well known songs and have been starting to dig deeper too, so far I’ve listened to their album Jazz and really enjoyed it (especially Bicycle Race I’ve got it stuck in my head haha) I like You’re My Best Friend, I Want to Break Free, & Killer Queen too but I don’t think I’ve ever heard Crazy Little Thing Called Love before, so I’ll have to listen to it! ELO is my favorite band rn, I love them so much! My favorite albums of theirs are Eldorado, Time, & Out of the Blue. Song wise it’s so hard to pick since they have so many good ones but if I REALLY had to choose I’d probably go with Summer and Lightning & Can’t Get It Out of My Head. I like Cheap Trick’s album Heaven Tonight & Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love. For Roy Orbison, he had such an angelic voice I love like his entire discography haha! I listen to his greatest hits album a lot and really love Blue Bayou, Life Fades Away, & You’ll Never Walk Alone. I have actually listened to I Am The Walrus before & loved it so much but haven’t listened to Magical Mystery Tour so I’ll definitely have to give it a listen! Speaking of the Beatles, I finally got around to listening to Sgt. Peppers!! I’ll talk more about it in the next ask because this one is getting a bit long haha, but it was so good!!

Ahh Michael Buble. My family used to pretty much exclusively listen to him during Christmas and it used to annoy me so bad haha, but luckily they don’t AS much anymore. I definitely agree with you, he just doesn’t have the tone/vibe. I can’t really think of anyone I don’t like rn, but I’m sure I’ll think of someone the minute I send this lol.

I just realized there’s only 12 more days until Christmas wow!! These days are flying! But anyways, I hope you have a good day! :)

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Haha yes! I love watching it, and it seems like every time I do I pick up on something new! I’ve seen the Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody, but that was a while ago so I don’t remember all the details. I think it came out around the same time as Rocketman, and was pretty good too!

Yes, Bicycle Race is such a fun one! I’ll have to add the ELO and Cheap Trick songs you mention to my ever growing list of songs to listen to haha I listened to some of Roy Orbison today (including the ones you mentioned) and you’re so right about his voice! It’s so clear, while also remaining so smooth and like you said, angelic. Ah I figured you might have already listened to I Am the Walrus, but the rest of the album is good to! I’m excited to hear what you think of it and Sgt. Peppers! :))

Oh lord, that sounds like torture! I can hardly stand to sit through one song, let alone all Christmas haha And no worries, I do the same thing all the time!

Omg only 12??? Ahhhh December’s going so fast!! This is my last week of school before winter break, so I’m trying to make sure I get gifts to everyone I won’t see over break haha! My day was pretty good, and I hope yours was too!

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it’s honestly wild how you go around thinking you’re never the problem or do anything wrong. you’ve strung me along with plans several times during our friendship, have been a terrible communicator, wasted my time, and talked shit behind my back when i was nothing but a good friend who stood by you and listened to you complain and bad mouth pretty much everyone in your life even when you weren’t be best friend to me. 

this has been a one-sided friendship for years. i stopped telling you about what was going on in my life because whenever i did you would be on your phone, talking over me, not responding back, then you’ve told me a few times “omg you never tell me anything anymore!” unless i reach out to you, we don’t hang out on weekends. i’ve had to double text you about plans when you’ve gone silent and carried things through until the end when you could easily communicate what you want. i didn’t expect texts back the second i reply, but i know you basically live on your phone and i know when someone is purposefully wasting my time, i’m not stupid. this past halloween wasn’t the first time you’ve done something like this to me, and i’m not sure why you feel so fine with wasting people’s time and just being an all around bad communicator and friend for no reason. it’s so easy to pick up the phone or text back and be honest. it’s almost like you get off on just not caring and doing whatever you want and not facing any consequences. i’m not dealing with it anymore. i’m mad at myself for letting it go on for this long, but to be honest the few times i’ve spoken up about how i feel over the years i was brushed off my you which shouldn’t have shocked me but it it. because you were supposed to be my best friend who would never intentionally hurt me, but i see how unless a plan revolves around you and you get what you want, you honestly do not care. 

i’ve been there for when you’ve talked shit about everyone in your life and stood by you even when you never gave me the same energy. over the past few years i’ve started matching your energy when it comes to things like sitting on my phone when we’ve hung out, not picking up your calls, and you never said anything because you’re so used to your friends being shitty and you being shitty in return. i’ve watched several friends come in and out of your life for as long as i’ve known you, and until recently i always thought it was all their fault because of whatever you told me about them and how things ended. i’ve come to realize that maybe it wasn’t always a one way street, or maybe sometimes it was your fault completely. for years i’ve never seen you take accountability for anything you’ve done wrong to the point where it looks delusional. 

i’m never going to say i’m a perfect person but i know i would have never done things that you’ve done to me. i can say with my whole chest that i was probably the greatest friend you’ve ever had and i’m not putting up with the mistreatment anymore. i should have cut you out of my life after you tried to break up my ship with bee for no reason, talked shit about my character and her’s to stir the pot for your own amusement, and cried “heart condition” when i confronted you. i wished you the best with your health but i never understood how that could be an excuse for your shitty behavior over the course of over a month, and if it’s an excuse at all for that matter. spoiler alert, it wasn’t. that’s an excuse a petulant teenager comes up with to try and absolve themselves of any blame. i couldn’t believe your inability to apologize or take ownership over the mess you made, and even found out more from yeji about you straight up lying and manipulating her into almost ending our ship and friendship during that time (yes, she showed me screenshots) and i was disgusted. thank god she didn’t take your lies at face value and came to me to mend things and continue our ship. it makes sense now why you frantically called me that night to see what yeji and i were talking about and if we made up. it was to try and cover your tracks. it makes me sick to think someone who i considered my best friend would make up lies and try to ruin a friendship and for what? what is your goal when it comes to trying to manipulate people? is it jealousy? you want everyone to be just as miserable as you are? you were really willing to risk a 7+ real life friendship over roleplay and that is something i’ll never understand but i’m also glad i cant relate to that sort of behavior. for someone who keeps saying “we all know each other and talk to each other ooc, things are bound to come out” you sure feel comfortable with running your mouth thinking none of it is going to get back to you. for someone who claims to be so anxious and self-aware all the time you sure are bad at reading the room and good at stirring the pot only to pitifully try and absolve yourself of all blame when people start calling you out or try to set boundaries. 

i hope the next person you let close is someone you treat with respect and that you value your time, refrain from talking shit for the hell of it, and be a better communicator. i also hope you learn to focus on yourself and not what other people are doing. 

i just have to say that ur username is the greatest thing i’ve ever seen

Omg bestie tysm 💚💚💚💚