Did some Nerdluck/Monstar incorrect quotes
This is gonna be a train wreck, but fuck it! We ball!
Pound: Tell them to eat shit, Bang.
Bang: Tell them yourself.
Pound: Eat shit, asshole. Fall off your horse.
…
Bupkus: Would you like something to drink? *it opens the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-
Pound: Spiders?
Bupkus: Spiders it is then.
Pound: No, that wasn’t-
*But it was already pouring her a brimming glass of spiders…*
…
Pound: I’m telling you, my team is competent.
Nawt, rushing in: Pound! Blanko tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now everything's broken!
…
Pound: They... Well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?
Bang: Um, murder???
Nawt: Adventuring!
Bupkus: Tuesday.
…
Blanko: How would you like your coffee?
Bang: As dark and as bitter as my soul.
Blanko, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!
…
Blanko: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Bupkus: We're chopsticks!
Blanko: Well... that's cute!
Blanko: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Pound: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
…
Blanko: I am an expert at identifying birds.
Nawt: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?
Blanko: Yeah, they're all birds.
…
Nawt: When life gives you lemonades, make lemons! Life will be all like "whaAttT?"
Pound: Life lessons that schools can't teach you.
…
Bupkus: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.
Pound: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.
Bupkus: Not when you’re playing with Nawt, it’s not. She put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”
…
Bugs, pretending to be a priest: ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful...
Bang: I just wanna fucking marry Nawt!!
…
*At a bank teller window*
Bupkus, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a deposit!
Mr Swackhammer: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU!
Bupkus: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*
Mr Swackhammer: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, IT'S IT AGAIN!
…
Nawt: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.
Blanko: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.
…
Bupkus: Are we tall enough to play basketball though?
Pound: Are you calling us short?
Bupkus: I'm calling us vertically challenged.
…
(How Pound came out)
Pound: Count me in!
Bupkus: Who the hell are you?!
Pound: Oh, you know my sibling. He worked at the in-park restaurant.
Bupkus: Oh yeah, Zilch! How's he been doing?
Pound: Oh yeah, not too good. He's been dead for the past month.
Bang: What the hell, and he didn't tell us?
…
Blanko: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet.
Bang: Why’d you get banned?
Blanko: Touched the rat.
Bang: … What rat?
Blanko: Chunky Cheese.
…
Bang, Entering Pound's room: Nawt did it again.
Pound: Peace disturbance?
Bang: What no-
Pound: Arson..?
Bang: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-
Pound: uh....Attempted murder?
Bang: NO, SHE ATE ALL THE GOOD ICE CREAM, WHAT THE FU-
…
Bang: Yeah, I don’t like people.
Blanko: Oh, well now that’s not fair Bang. Have you met all of them?
Bang: I’ve met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!
…
Nawt: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship.
Blanko: We’re not friends.
Nawt, holding an axe: Then we’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.
…
Bupkus: Hey guys! I drew everyone's soul!
Bang: Why is Nawt's a monster?
Pound: Bupkus, you forgot Bang's, there's only an empty space.
Bupkus, proudly: Exactly!
…
Blanko: What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and her name was Mozzarella?
Pound: Don't ever speak to me again.
…
Bupkus: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Nawt: I mean, not if they consent to it.
Pound: Depends on who you're stabbing.
Blanko: YES??!!?
…
Bang: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.
…
Blanko: I hate to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.
Pound & Nawt:
Pound: Only one?
…
Blanko: I’ve made a spreadsheet of all the crime in Brooklyn.
Blanko: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.
…
Bupkus, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Nawt: Gray.
Pound: Grey.
Bupkus, turning to Blanko: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Blanko: …Dark white.
…
Bang, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.
Pound: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?
Bang: I absolutely fucking do not.
…
Pound: Want to hear a hard riddle?
Bupkus: Sure.
Pound: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?
Bupkus: ...down?
Pound: N-
Blanko: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.
Pound:
Pound: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ…
…
Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry four people on a single motorcycle.
Pound, with Blanko, Bupkus, and Bang behind her: Wait, what do you mean FOUR?!
Police: Yes…four.
Bang: Oh, my God, no, this is bad, this is so bad!
Police: Wha-
Bupkus: NAWT FUCKING FELL OFF!
…
Pound: Where are your parents?
Bang: What are parents?
Pound: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.
…
Bupkus: Ah yes, the joy of hanging out with Nawt. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and he bites the tip of a marker off.
…
Pound: Could you be anymore annoying?
Blanko: Yes.
…
Nawt: Pound and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.
Pound: I'm sorry, We what?
…
*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Blanko: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Bupkus: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Bang: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Nawt: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC'.
Pound: *flips the board*
…
Bupkus: Blanko is not allowed to violate the dress code, even on 'casual' Fridays.
Bupkus: No matter how many times you say please, Blanko. They won't put any of the hats you've been asking about into the dress code.
…
Bang: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer.
Nawt: Why are we so awesome?
Bang: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.
…
Blanko: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?
…
Pound: The best person I know is myself.
…
Blanko: Hey Pound?
Pound: Yeah?
Blanko: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
Pound:
Pound: ...What.
…
Bupkus: I'm against crime, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
…
Nawt: Why aren’t you sleeping?
Bang: I’m too busy plotting murder to sleep, Nawt.
Nawt:
Bang: ...The nightmares.
Nawt: *wrapping her arms around Bang* Awwww, sweetie-
…
Bang, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-
…
Blanko: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.
Bang: That’s a snake.
…
Blanko: Is the pink panther a lion?
Bupkus: Say that again but slower.
Blanko: I don’t get it.
Bupkus: He’s a PANTHER.
Blanko: Is that a type of lion?
Bupkus: No, it’s a fucking panther.
Blanko: *googles panther* They aren’t pink?
Bupkus: AND LIONS ARE?!
…
Pound: Nawt, If the thought of something makes you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you're not allowed to do it.
…
Bupkus: How petty can you get?
Pound: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
…
Bang: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.
…
Bupkus: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.
…
Nawt: You don't think I can fight because of my height!
Bupkus: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Pound could fight in that dress either.
Pound: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.
…
Bupkus: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*
Bang: What did you do?!
Bupkus: NOBODY DIED!
Bang: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
…
Blanko: Quitting! It's like trying, but easier.
…
Pound: I am your king, long may I reign!
Bang: Well I didn’t vote for you!
Pound: You don’t vote for kings.
Bang: Well how’d you become king then?
Pound: Bupkus of the Lake, its arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Pound, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
Bang: …Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
…
Pound: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you.
Blanko: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool!
Pound: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the locker room is not cool.
…
Pound: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.
Nawt: Wow, I've gotta hear this.
Pound: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.
Nawt: You forgot about pride.
Pound: No, I'm pretty proud of this.
…
Bupkus: How did you even get in here?
Nawt: Pound's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Nawt's door"!
Pound: I'm closing the window.
…
Nawt: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-
Blanko: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!
…
Pound: Bang is forbidden from monologuing.
…
Pound: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution.
Bang: You could lose a few pounds.
Nawt: You could be less lazy.
Blanko: Don’t be such a bitch.
Pound: Okay DAMN, SHIT.
…
Pound: I have locked Mr Swackhammer in a cage designed by his own art. Oh, he has been well and truly hoisted by his own petard.
Bupkus: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that.
Pound: I’m blackmailing him.
Bupkus: Oh, happy days!
…
Bang: Do you love Bupkus?
Pound: Yeah, I do.
Bang: Blanko! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!
Blanko: We all love Bupkus. You should've asked if she was IN love with it.
Pound: I thought that was implied.
Blanko: ...
Bang: ...
Pound, looking straight at Blanko: Congrats Bang, you just won 100 bucks.
…
Pound: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit.
Bang: Pound, is that legal?
Pound: When the cops aren’t around, anything’s legal!
…
*Nawt drunkenly wanders around the house and Bang is drunkenly giggling*
Pound, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the world, Bupkus.
Bupkus, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*
…
Bang: Let’s write Pound a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass…
…
Pound: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?
…
Bupkus: I’m terrible at expressing myself.
Nawt: Don’t worry, actions speak louder than words!
Bupkus: Yes, but my actions are also bad.
…
Blanko: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag.
Pound: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.
…
Bupkus: Are pigeons drones?
Bang: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.
Bupkus: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!
Bang: *Crying* Please let me sleep…
…
Blanko, near tears: Please, Bang, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!
…
Bupkus: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff.
Bang: Oh, that was all real.
Bupkus: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?!
Bang: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.
…
Pound: That was a joke. Say ha.
Blanko: Ha.
Pound: Now do it again.
Blanko: Ha.
Pound: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.
…
Blanko: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?
Bang: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.
…
Bupkus: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here’s a throwback to when Nawt ate an entire tube of my lipstick.
Nawt, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!
…
Bupkus: What’s your favorite color?
Pound: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something mature.
Bupkus: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?
Pound: …My favorite color is green.
…
Bupkus: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.
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