#NOW GIVE HIS CHEESE OR HE WILL KILL YOU AND SELL YOUR LIVER
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pew pew
Pardon, for he requests you perish at his hand
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SENTENCE MEME ⟶ REVOLTING PEOPLE / 3.01
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
‘what month is it?’
‘you ever do that? forget what year it is?’
‘i drink to numb the pain.’
‘none taken, you insensitive pig.’
‘you planning to step in and stop their frolicking?’
‘if they want to do that they can go to the churchyard and do it behind a gravestone like any normal young couple.’
‘why’re you looking at me like that?’
‘that’d be disrespectful. as was once pointed out to me.’
‘no doubt my fame goes before me.’
‘now, don’t be modest.’
‘it was a shame about the massacre.’
‘you seem familiar.’
‘have we met?’
‘the man brought shame on our family.’
‘yeah, he has quite a few twin brothers who’ve brought shame on his family.’
‘would you like to buy something?’
‘they’re playing cards.’
‘perhaps you’d like to go.’
‘i just like the way you whistle, it’s very melodious.’
‘but his whistling has no melody whatsoever.’
‘have you heard about our cheese museum?’
‘what a delightful surprise! i wasn’t expecting you.’
‘i have much to be contrary about.’
‘i can speak when i choose.’
‘why have you not replied to my letter?’
‘it’s what made the royal family what it is today.’
‘i don’t want to.’
‘don’t want to? what does that have to do with anything?’
‘she’s got a face that can stop a clock!’
‘women are not things.’
‘how would i know? nobody’s asked her.’
‘she doesn’t give up, does she?’
‘your days are numbered.’
‘i’m gonna lay down.’
‘hello birds. hello clouds. hello girl with parasol.’
‘please don’t stop what you’re doing on my account.’
‘what are you doing?’
‘i’m staring at the sky. i like staring at the sky.’
‘my name’s... no, wait, it’ll come. _____!’
‘i wish i was big.’
‘that sounds exciting.’
‘everything sounds exciting to me.’
‘i’m afraid it’s actually rather tedious.’
‘sometimes i think about how pleasant it would be if i could just go on a killing spree and butcher all of them in their sleep.’
‘you have deep, sensitive eyes.’
‘do you want to see me wrestle a bear?’
‘it’s such a warm day, do you think it’s wise for you to wrestle a bear without taking your shirt off?’
‘i think you should take your shirt off.’
‘the flame of liberty is going to engulf you.’
‘impressive speech.’
‘she’s also a rebellious traitor.’
‘she’s bewitched you!’
‘that’s my brother you’re talking about!’
‘you went out with a nine foot tall woman?’
‘she kept saying i should have mentioned it.’
‘being married sounds like fun!’
‘he’s not a moron, he’s... he’s small-brained.’
‘well, he makes a good exit.’
‘they’re young, there’s no harm in it.’
‘do you believe in love at first sight.’
‘sometimes she imagines all the cynics having their livers torn out by giant metal birds!’
‘can we have jugglers at the wedding?’
‘are jugglers expensive?’
‘he can’t get married; they only met an hour ago.’
‘what did i do to deserve that?’
‘are you going to talk about the terrible hand that life has dealt you?’
‘we have this thing called knocking.’
‘i can tell that you’re a man of experience from the fact that so many of your limbs are missing.’
‘you look like you’ve played the game of life. and lost. heavily.’
‘your opinion is of no interest to me.’
‘you are of no interest to me.’
‘i shall do no such thing.’
‘love is a powerful thing.’
‘do you think i’d sell the future happiness of my loved ones for fifty pounds? i’d never do that.’
‘you’re not listening. i said i would never do it.’
‘that’s it. get out!’
‘____, give me a term of abuse.’
‘you rushed me.’
‘who does he take me for?’
‘what’d you say that for?’
‘why would anyone in the future want to listen to this conversation? i’m here now and i don’t want to listen to it.’
‘have you been at the funny tobacco again?’
‘it’d be wrong. and it’s not right to do wrong, right? it’s right to do right, right? that can’t be wrong.’
‘it’s not my place to interfere.’
‘it does throw up an interesting ethical question.’
‘i’ve a feeling that the old testament says that accepting money to end foolish romances is morally justified.’
‘jesus said it was compulsory.’
‘you wanted to see me?’
‘don’t worry, that was an old chair.’
‘i wouldn’t trade this feeling for a thousand pounds.’
‘whenever i’m with her i feel all toasty. and marmaladey.’
‘you don’t even know about the birds and the bees.’
‘i know all about the birds and the bees. that’s how babies get made.’
‘the bees grow the baby in their hive and then get the birds to deliver them to the mummy.’
‘what the hell is that?’
‘i don’t want to know. nobody does.’
‘see what you’ve done with your revolting diagram!’
‘i love her. and i love the way she makes me feel.’
‘don’t make me give all that up. or i won’t ever eat again! unless it’s pie. i like pie. but apart from that, nothing!’
‘sensitively handled.’
‘you know nothing about affairs of the heart.’
‘it won’t work.’
‘stay away from lightning, it smarts.’
‘i’m not scared of him.’
‘why are you trying to turn me against my own heart?’
‘i don’t understand why you’re doing this.’
‘america is basically just cornwall.’
‘and will you a, be put up against the wall and shot, or b, just shot with no wall in the vicinity?’
‘you must end it now. before it ends in tears. not to mention that hail of bullets.’
‘go home.’
‘you’ve not been to england, have you?’
‘fate is stacked against our love.’
‘he puts it about.’
‘we’ve had to confiscate his canoe.’
‘he thinks babies are grown in beehives.’
‘i find all this hard to believe.’
‘i don’t understand what you’re getting at.’
‘he disinherited me.’
‘what do you think, ____? what sort of person would do that? what sort of lying, interfering person would do something like that?’
‘i don’t know who you’re referring to, but he sounds like the sort of bloke who might push your teeth down your throat.’
‘i think that’s just the way he walks.’
‘i’m gonna do something adolescent. i’m gonna carve her name on my forehead with this hunting knife!’
‘this is all my fault.’
‘this is my responsibility.’
‘could you put down that knife?’
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Here’s some things that I’ve overheard recently
- That bridge was created by erosion
- Holy tolino that’s a nice tree!
- Ivy! There’s the guy we don’t like (Trump in a car)
- Why wouldn’t you want to be king? You could get corgis, they’re adorable
- That’s not an allergy, that’s a life choice
- Are you that one guy? Are you DongleMc DongleSon?
- Woooo! CHEMEX!
- THE FURIES ARE COMING
- I NEED A BOYFRIEND AND A SWEATSHIRT
- I wonder what animal that is? Oh wait, it’s a log
- Just a cone, no ice cream. I don’t like ice cream
- My chicken BLT came without the chicken!
- I should have kept the headband from the tampons
- You’ve been reduced to a codename
- Hug, Marry, Exile, the Brucified sleepover game
- It’s just the toes
- Parf Tarts
- It’s crispy?!?!
- When I’m like, 60, I’m going to do drugs
- What really is life without watching Bob Ross?
- 13 YEARS!!!
- Stacy’s mom is Parker’s grandma~
- EmBruce it
- It’s not a water break, it’s a hydration break
- That bird is using a crosswalk!
- I don’t know any colleges in Massachusetts!
- What even is frick without frack
- I’m emotionally offended by your haircut
- That’s like a cat fart
- Someone just shat
- I’M NOT A CHILD PREDATOR DEANNA!!!
- I’ll sue that movie, they stole my idea (Just finished watching Hotel Transylvania 3)
- See, Amanda. That’s your noise
- My mom told me that if you sleep with your phone under your pillow you get fat
- If he were gay he’d be adorable
- He’s racist to chairs
- Flarion is my boob
- Don’t throw the ball at the referee, it’ll hurt his feelings
- Fuck yeah, your name’s Keith
- Can you deep throat a firecracker?
- Your earlobe is soft
- I would sell my toes for my old hair
- It’s like eating a period, NO
- What a funny looking animal (Giraffe)
- Giraffes are the most ridiculous animals
- Ew, keep your ebola away from me
- Look at that glass shard, that must be uncomfortable
- Do sloths have ears?
- Lip jellies freak me out
- A: I have three boobs (Sloth in shirt) B: I have uh.... Arthritis
- Instagram knows I’m lonely
- Knock on any Nonna’s door and tell them you’re Jewish and they’ll pity you and throw you a feast
- But this time it’s just the nose
- I want Granny panties
- Why do we only have confidence when our shirts are off?
- Why is an 8 year old twerking on my leg
- She has curves, you have rectangles
- I’m depressed, give me your water
- Dude! I look like a freaking lion!
- My loofa unraveled...
- I’m eating ramen with a singular coffee straw
- These walls better be soundproof (Amanda loudly singing in the background)
- I’m ready for my 4am Taco Bell runs
- Wifi in Spanish is wee-fee
- I didn’t see the body
- We should crochet together
- Yeah! I was a baby model.
- I don’t know if he likes me or if he’s just the gay best friend
- Have you pooped this week? You need to poop
- You’ve got all your limbs and you’re ready to go
- I need affection
- Diego’s eating rocks again~
- Wait. You’re instagramming my dog?
- I love letting people know what I’m up to
- It’s so funny, it’s like the ying and the yang
- You’re in my world now Grandma
- Two nipples? I don’t need nipples
- You are one gassy fellow
- You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up on our side of the bus
- I can never tell if you’re just depressed or listening to music
- I’ve got a photo shoot coming up for a calendar, for hot teachers with 6-packs. I’m October
- 38 on rotten potatoes!
- I’m hungry, I’m delirious
- DON’T PINCH MY CHUB
- I love clapping thighs in the evening
- Dude, I’m so ready to mingle
- Do you have a magician book
- Let’s taste those minerals
- The sauce is forever
- Why is everything so straight
- The right nipples don’t deserve rights
- We used to have a zebra and he was vicious
- Very important, I forgot shoes
- You look like a lumber snack
- A: I’m the only one here who looks like a hobo B: Really? Say that again A: We can be hobos together
- Woah dude! Can we take a picture of you? *Truck next to the bus*
- What were you guys doing? Bathing yourselves in the toilet?
- I want to be those people in Wii sports (The background characters that make the noises)
- Then we can have a dance party in a prison cell!
- Most of the bible sounds like gay fanfics
- It’s Frozen all over again!
- I have my metal bus on the straw
- My mom told my Dad to not be a weenie
- I’m going to build my house doors really short so you can’t come in
- Do you want to be black with me?
- Are you the black man?
- How did chutes and ladders go sexual?
- What if there was a rotisserie chicken hanging from the ceiling
- No one said Californians are smart, they’re just hippies who smoke weed
- Stop losing me in airport bathrooms
- What’s with those muscular kneecaps
- Queers doesn’t shake hands
- I’m drowning! I’m not even in the water
- Is this baptism?
- Breakfast doesn’t deserve grace
- It’s not just airport bathrooms
- Ice Age, watch it, absorb it
- I call first waz
- If you’re saying waz you’re not fancy
- I have so many bodily fluids to get rid of
- Don’t eat the lotion samples
- Why are our shoes not curved
- I’m just a fat guy so everything is delicious
- My name is Gay Fieri
- *Monotone iCarly theme song*
- I love Chipoodle
- The others are just Bat-ships
- You ever tie a banana to a tree?
- Can we have a fashion show?
- I’m gonna waz myself
- That’s the Death Star again
- Why do you have glitter on you?
- I smoke the mara-ja-wanna
- I have a gelato emergency
- This is our entertainment for the day (Watching a (probably) crazy man dance)
- I have a lot of questions about pottery
- Ever since I was a small child I have found myself goo-goo-ga-ga
- There are too many cans
- We need to stop canning beans
- Forks are way better than spoons
- I hate spoons
- Do you not want two hours of smooth jazz
- A man just stole my nut
- That’s a really bad name for a gay bar
- Is your tongue comfortable in your mouth
- I’m a penguin enthusiast
- He kept force feeding me marshmallows
- Why would you judge a girl by her neck?
- Are there shampoo bars?
- Why would you want a shampoo bar?
- Don’t burn down the house
- Halloween is my day
- You want to be hydrated?
- Are you kidding me? Right in front of my salad?
- We can still cartwheel into a fiery ball
- It’s your last day of camp, why are you trying to land a plane
- There’s a scale from dude to bro to sir
- Gotta vacuum the bird
- I’m teaching my rabbit spanish
- Ok, who got the cheese on a bun???
- I feel like a wet lasagna
- You can get a star for Jazz???
- I have 3 bottles of hand sanitizer
- A- We make children cry! B- NO WE DON’T
- A- Can I have chicken on a plate? B- Chicken on a plate? A- Chicken on a plate
- I want to go to band to get sweaty
- Proactive, it helps your face
- The cult meeting is next week from 2-7
- This is so vegany
- I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE SONG! NOT THE BEATLES!
- I have shrimp for later
- It burns my eyes, I love it
- It’s not that we hate you, it’s just that sometimes we can’t stand you
- Locked and loaded for a photoshoot first period
- This chalk keeps following me
- Kinda like a Starbucks atmosphere
- How dare she learn how to drive
- You have to sing our anthem with us
- It fits right into the squiggle
- I’m immune to hot sauce (Downs little cup of hot sauce)
- How was fake meatloaf?
- Can you train a fish?
- I haven’t worn pants in a year
- It smells like yogurt
- I have ties for every holiday
- There’s no laws on the moon, so like, you could kill someone???
- Optional means I don’t do it
- I’m gonna cook your dog!!!
- Is that where we almost went to park jail?
- We don’t condone sporting
- I want to turn orange
- Let’s make a buzfeed quiz that tells you what bridge you are
- (In Spanish) Where is the milk?
- If silence is gold, duct tape is silver
- A: So, what are you guys doing? B: Drugs.
- Young successful jewish boy
- A: I’m fun size! *Friend laughter* B: I’m just short...
- A: Where’s my medal??? B: Up your ass
- I’m a leech
- If anyone’s getting salmonella, it’s going to be me
- Does it involve backflips?
- I get to see all the little children getting confused as you disappear into a chair
- I think someone stole my balls by now
- A- A plastic knife can cut another plastic knife B- Why did you cut a plastic knife? A- Dedication!
- A- Oh my god! B- What does this have to do with god? C- *Whispering* Everything
- You’re probably going to die of liver
- I’m a five year old! You can’t have that profanity in here!
- Hey kids get in the van, we’ve got free wifi
- That’s worse than 10 babies hanging from a tree
- Are you from the piggers of creation???
- A- You’re like an old married couple B- (From the distance) He started it!
- I am a Jesus Christ in a person!
- YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY CHROMOSOMES THAT COST ME!!!
- I will implant a chip in your ankle! And you won’t know which one!
- I’M AN AVATAR! AIR! (Nothing happens) AIR! (Still nothing)
- When I was on a plane, we started dropping 200 feet at a time, the funny thing was that half of the plane had just gotten their drinks so half the plane was soaked
- Is Christianity a cult?
- A- Do you have experiences with holes B- (Very Unsure) Yes
- I’m her bitch, not your bitch
- He has the IQ of half a ferret
- A- Did you read the game manual? B- The gay manual??
- I want the pleasure of whipping you
- One time I poured a glass of apple cider vinegar and I drank it
- I changed my name to Johnyay West
- Too much damage done to the duner
- On a scale to 1 to Bill Cosby
- Ariana Grande is a criminal
- A- It’s sticky B- Can I take that out of context? A- No
- YOU ZIP TIED HIM TO A CHAIR?!
- It’s half past a freckle
- I need the crotch
- I don’t have imaginary friends. I don’t have friends.
- It’s like a mini fridge for pillows
- You hurt yourself with a stationary elbow
- My parents met at Burger King
- A- What’s the capital of Ohio B- Arkansas...?
- A- What do you do after school? B- Eat C- Sleep D- Cry
- Ask for cocaine, not Coca-Cola
- HOW HAVE YOU NOT TOLD US YOU MAKE STAINED GLASS?!
- You stole my meme bro
- A- Where you the one who drank chocolate sauce? B- (Seemingly proud) Yes.
- OW! MY CALVES!
- The Kardashians are necessary in our society!!!
- I feel like a homeless prostitute
- Ya wanna share a fork
- Now you have a pile of hot cheese
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