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my-fanfic-soul · 4 years

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No Need to Regret: Chapter 27

From the Beginning

Being in London with Niall still felt like a dream. That first night had started the process of my emotional tank refilling. I hadn’t realized just how empty it had become. I was so drained but everything about being here was helping me recover.

We had all walked down to a local fish and chip shop for dinner, Olivia’s hand laced through mine and Bethany chattering about what she knew about British history through what she had learned in school. Niall had looked so at ease, his hand occasionally reaching up to brush against my lower back. Every time we went to cross a street, his hand went up almost protectively, and it wasn’t just for me. He wouldn’t let the kids go until he was certain the cars were going to stop or pass us by.

At the shop, he had belly laughed when Olivia had made the realization that chips were french fries, not potato chips and he had bantered playfully with Ethan over where the appropriate place to put ketchup on fries was. He was good natured in his loss when the shop owner took Ethan’s side, even as Ethan and Olivia teased him mercilessly.

On the way back to his flat, though, was when my heart had really started to feel the effect of what this trip would do for me. The sun had gone down and the temperatures had dropped. My siblings weren’t used to it being cold in March and Beth was wearing a thin jacket. When she shivered, Niall didn’t even seem to think about it before he was slipping out of his own coat and handing it over to my little sister. We were still fifteen minutes from his house and he didn’t complain once about being cold. He didn’t make a comment about her needing to remember to bring a better one next time.

How did I manage to find someone like him?

We have fallen into a comfortable schedule for while we’re here. Niall wakes up and goes down to the gym while I shower and get dressed. By the time he gets back, I’ve woken up the kids and started the process of getting everyone fed and getting ready for the day. While he has work commitments in the morning, my siblings and I head out to see some of the more touristy parts of London.

The afternoons are spent with Niall. On Saturday he had taken us to a museum, Sunday we relaxed in a park while he passed a soccer ball back and forth with Ethan and Olivia, Monday we had all gone to see a movie together, and Tuesday we took a trip to Windsor. In the evenings we would make dinner in his kitchen and he would do things like play video games with Ethan or teach all of us how to play poker, minus the money part of it. It was easy to focus on the good moments and look past the moments where Ethan whined because we were going somewhere he didn’t care about, Olivia whined about her feet hurting, or Bethany whined because the other two weren’t getting in trouble for whining.

There were so many more good moments than bad.

It was easy for my mind to wander, to imagine this as life all the time. The practical part of me knew it wasn’t possible, the kids were normally with dad and Niall is gone so often-- this is more of a tease than anything else. But the bittersweet feeling of knowing that there was a potential out there in the world for my younger siblings to know a good life, a life full of love and attention, was a near constant presence.

Our schedule on Wednesday was completely thrown off from the moment I woke up, though. Instead of waking up to Niall slipping out the door of his bedroom in his workout clothes, I woke up to fingers tracing down my neck and a gorgeous, blue eyed Irishman staring at me lovingly.

“Happy birthday, Kendra,” he whispered softly before peppering my cheeks, forehead, and finally lips in soft kisses.

I closed my eyes again and stretched, groggy and surprised by the greeting but pleased. “Thank you,” I murmured, my voice deep with sleep as I caught his lips with mine. He grinned, his hand sliding from my neck, down my shoulder and my side to rest at my hip. He squeezed gently and swallowed the soft moan that escaped my lips. As wonderful as it was having my family here getting to truly know Niall, I was trying to calculate how long we had before they woke up if we stayed quiet.

“None of that,” he whispered. “The kids are already awake and making breakfast.”

Every trace of tiredness evaporated immediately as I opened my eyes to give him an exasperated look and started to sit up, pushing the blankets off of me as I went. “You left them alone in the kitchen? Bethany burns cereal!”

A swift kiss put a halt to my attempts to get up. “Don’t worry so much, they’re fine. I’m doing the hard part; they’re just washing fruit and getting all the ingredients together. They love you, they wanted to do something special for you.”

“As much as I’m enjoying the kissing--” another one was planted on my lips for the compliment, “Don’t you think you should get back in there before one of them finds their ambition and burns this entire flat to a crisp?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were awake and let you know that you need to go ahead and shower. I’ve got a busy day planned for you, birthday girl.”

I sat up at that. “Don’t you have work this morning?”

His mischievous grin made my insides melt. “I rearranged some things.”

My brain was waking up now and making better sense of what he was saying. “Wait. You’re telling me you woke them up this morning, early, and they all just cheerfully went to make my breakfast?”

“No, they knew the plan.”

“When did you have a chance to plan this with three kids?”

He kissed me gently as he grabbed my hands and pulled me out of bed. “Now, darling. A man should never share his secrets. Go shower. Take all the time you need to do your hair. I’ve got breakfast and the kids covered and a full day of exploring London with you.”

“What are you…”

“Go.”

I wanted all of the details, but the draw of the shower was stronger. One thing I had learned to appreciate about Niall’s flat was his water pressure. It was a thing of true beauty and I stood using all of his hot water for as long as I could stand it, washing and conditioning my hair. Leisurely stealing his expensive soap. Allowing the stream of water to massage out the pleasant exhaustion Niall assured me was normal for a vacation.

I’d sleep on a thin mattress full of nothing but feathers if it meant I got to use that shower every day.

There was a crashing sound from the kitchen as I finally stepped out and I almost rushed to see what had broken but paused at the sound of deep laughter. He was spoiling me in ways I never could have imagined. It was a relief to be able to pick up a hair dryer and take time brushing out my hair knowing there was another adult who had it handled.

When I finally joined them there was flour all over the counters, stray raspberries scattered across the floor, and four grinning faces greeting me. “Happy birthday!” they chorused together before my younger siblings attacked me with hugs.

“No cake,” Niall said, holding out a plate in front of him. “But we made you waffles with all of your favorite toppings.” Sure enough, there were thick waffles with syrup, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and raspberries on top-- completed with a single candle.

“I told him that if we put all 21 candles on it, we might set off the fire alarm,” Ethan teased. I pushed his head playfully and he grinned again.

Even with Niall leading them, there still managed to be six different keys between the four of them for singing happy birthday to me, and they ended in three different places, but I couldn’t get the smile off my face. It was by far the best birthday I’d ever had and it was only the morning. Behind the residual smoke from my single candle being blown out, Niall’s glowing face promised a day that I’d never forget.

---

And how could I? He had planned everything out perfectly with my interests in mind. He remembered conversations I would have never thought to hold onto. He thought of everything and expected no work on my part from beginning to end.

Breakfast was homemade waffles made to perfection with scrambled eggs and sausages that I watched Ethan scarf down as fast as he could. He participated in a video chat with each of my siblings still in the States so they could all wish me a happy birthday, as well. He took charge of cleaning up and directing the kids on what to do to streamline everything. Once he and the kids were dressed, he ushered us out the door and down to the car.

“Where are we going?” Ethan asked as he crawled into the back with his sisters.

Niall shook his head, “Does no one in this family enjoy a good surprise?”

“No,” all three kids chorused together.

“Get used to it.”

Traffic was as hectic as ever but we eventually made it to a parking garage in London near all the tourist attractions. “Won’t you be recognized?” I asked nervously as we all piled out of the car. Niall pulled on a ball cap and gestured to his nondescript clothing. “I really hate to break it to you, but you’re no less gorgeous dressed like a frat boy than you are when you’re standing on a stage in skinny jeans.”

Ethan wrinkled his nose. “Ew.”

“As long as we’re moving, I should be fine.”

We walked for nearly ten minutes, keeping the kids close to us, Niall’s hand firmly gripping both mine and Olivia’s. Seeing him so protective of all of us did things to me. When I saw where we were headed, I couldn’t help the smile that was starting to hurt after half a week of it being nearly constant.

“The Tower of London?” I asked and he nodded. It had already been on our agenda for today and Niall had remembered, even though I hadn’t been detailing our plans to him much before the day of. I had mentioned it a few weeks ago, in passing, that it was the plan for the morning of my birthday.

He wasn’t playing around, either. We were met near the start of the line by a woman who introduced herself as our guide. He had arranged a privately guided tour for all five of us, allowing plenty of time for me to absorb every detail that I wanted.

And we did. Between the four Americans, we kept her on her toes asking questions and looking at everything we could. Niall kept track of Livy so I wouldn’t have to worry constantly about where she was. Ethan and Bethany did their part to not wander too far away and only squabbled a little, which I still had to manage but I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my morning.

When we were done, we wandered down the street towards a sandwich shop and I got my next surprise in the form of a familiar face. “Mark!” He wrapped me up in a friendly hug with a happy birthday. “I thought you’d be spending time with your family, not slumming it in London on your break.”

“My family’s in the city while I’m here. Don’t worry about me.” Niall introduced him to my younger siblings and Mark joined us in the shop for lunch.

When we were done, Mark took the kids back up to the counter to buy sweets and Niall turned to me with nervousness in his eyes for the first time this trip. “Mark’s actually here for a reason. I want your trip to be special and today to be all about you. I want the rest of the day to be just you and me.”

My heart squeezed in my chest. I wanted that, too, but… “Niall, the kids. We can’t just leave them to their own devices, even at the flat. It’s not right.”

“I know, I thought about that. That’s why Mark’s here. If you’re comfortable with it, Mark has agreed to take the kids for the rest of the day. I figured you’d be happier if it was someone you knew and trusted.”

“But, his time with his family…”

“They have their own stuff today.”

I sigh, wanting so desperately to give in because I want it, too. Time with just Niall outside the moments we stole before we fall asleep at night seemed like a dream. When they came back to the table, I laid it out on the table for them. “Are y’all comfortable spending the rest of the day with Mark?”

Ethan, predictably, eagerly agreed. He was convinced the man was more than he let on and had been asking about exercise in ways that implied he believed Mark had killed a man. Nothing was cooler to a twelve year old boy. Bethany nodded her own agreement, seeming unconcerned with the plan. “You and Niall need some time to do whatever it is adults do in this city.”

Livy was the only hold out. She glanced nervously between me and Mark. Abandonment issues were a real and constant thing with her these days and I couldn’t blame her. If she said no, I’d tell Niall we needed to reevaluate the plans. But she quietly asked, “Are you coming back tonight?”

“Yes,” Niall assured her. “And if you’re asleep before we get back, I’ll make sure she goes and wakes you up long enough to know she’s home.”

She chewed the inside of her lip and asked, “Will Bethany be there all day?”

“Absolutely,” I tell her, wanting to touch her, reassure her. It’s hard to give her the space she needs to make decisions on her own in an attempt to prevent any more codependency issues. My first instinct is to make everything better for her and it’s hard to let that go.

Finally, she nodded. “I’ll go with Mark.”

It was huge for her, but I couldn’t make a big deal about it without making her take another three steps back so I settled for smiling at her and assuring her that Mark was very nice and that I knew him well from his time in Texas and when I had visited the band.

It’s still hard watching them walk away and back towards Niall’s car, which he gave Mark the keys for. “I’ve got a service picking us up tonight,” he explained when I questioned it. “Mark hasn’t got a car big enough for all four of them.”

I set my shoulders and smiled up at him. “So, what’s on the plans for an adult’s afternoon?”

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and steered me down the street. “We’re gonna take a little stroll before our next tour.”

I glanced up at him, taking in his relaxed features. He was happy, content. Well rested even though I knew tour was exhausting for all of them already, and this had only been the first leg. “I bet it’s boring playing tourist in a city you already know so well.”

“I’d play tourist in Mullingar if it meant I got to spend the day with you,” he replied easily. “Besides, I don’t get many opportunities to explore London like this. It’s nice to be a tourist, again.”

“You do nothing but travel.”

“Ken, you’ve been with me on tour before. There aren’t many opportunities to get out and see the sights. Last year they had to put us in a bread van just to get us out of a hotel to go see the Christ the Redeemer statue in Brazil. It doesn’t exactly allow for taking pictures in front of pretty buildings.”

We walked quietly while I wrapped my head around having to sit in a delivery van in order to leave my hotel. Things had been hectic when I had visited him on tour, but it had never been that bad. “How is it that you have to hide to leave a hotel, but you can walk through London without any problems? Why do we need two security guards to go around New York, but I haven’t even seen Howie since we got here?”

Niall kicked a coffee cup out of our way, keeping his head down as we moved. “It’s different when we’re supposed to be somewhere. When they can anticipate us leaving an airport or showing up to a venue, that’s when it’s the worst. And some countries have fewer restrictions on what the paps are allowed to do and that makes it inherently more dangerous. When we’re off, it’s easier to blend in.”

I looked around, taking in the blend of modern buildings with older ones mixed in, like they had forgotten them when they were cleaning the streets. It spoke to the nature of London as a whole, tradition laced into a fast paced, modern world. “Do you ever wish you could go back and do the normal tourist thing? Just walk down the street, taking pictures of obscure trellises without worrying about ending up in next week’s magazine print?”

“More often than you know.”

We rounded a corner and Niall led me up to a modern building. “What are we doing here?” I asked skeptically. Modern anything was more his taste than mine and so far the entire day had been geared towards my interests and likes. I was trying to not feel selfish, but this had been his idea of a birthday gift for me.

“Just trust me,” he urged me, gave me a soft kiss, and pushed the doors open for me.

Niall:

If I could spend every day watching the way Keni’s eyes light up in the face of historical information, I’d die the happiest man on Earth.

When I led her down to the basement, she’d given me a funny look and said, “You do realize you’re famous, right? People are going to know it was you if you kill me in a basement.”

“If I was going to kill you, don’t you think I would have done it back in the woods in Texas? Just trust me.” Fact was, I was nervous. This hadn’t been on her list of things she wanted to do while she was here. Nothing about the rest of our day was something she had wanted to do, but I was ready to shit myself with anxious hope that she’d love it anyway.

Either I knew her, or I didn’t, but I was sure she’d love her surprise.

The moment she saw where I’d brought her, she was speechless and I knew I’d been right. It filled me with a certain amount of pride when she looked at me with glowing eyes. “I didn’t even know this was here,” she told me, gesturing at the sign declaring that it was the Billingsgate Roman House & Baths remains.

My girl likes old things, and I’m here to provide.

“I didn’t either until I started planning for your birthday,” I confess. “I know it’s not a castle, but I thought you’d enjoy it, nonetheless.”

“It’s perfect.”

She nearly hugged our guide when she learned that taking photos wasn’t prohibited inside, as long as she didn’t use flash. But best of all was the soft “Oh!” she uttered and the wonder that filled her eyes as she looked at the 2,000 year old remains for the first time. It just looked like a collection of dirt and rubble to me, but I would have bought her an entire excavation site just to see that look on her face for one minute longer.

Drugs had nothing on the way she made me feel.

It wasn’t that I found the tour to be boring, because it really was full of information on London when the Roman’s still had control here and the way the bath house worked, but I didn’t find it interesting in the way Keni did. She asked questions constantly, her eyes taking in details that I would have ignored completely. She asked questions about social structure that even with a textbook in front of me, I wouldn’t have thought to ask.

Watching her mind work was as attractive as watching her clothes come off.

She was beside herself with giddiness an hour later when we made our way back up to ground level. “I can’t believe that it was in such good condition! Just… there. Right below London. It’s amazing! Who could even imagine?”

She could, if she gave herself enough credit. The thought made me smile as I looked at her fondly. “Well, we’re not done here, yet. Do you see that church door?” I ask, pointing up a walking path. Her lips purse as she nods. “Walk up that way.”

For a girl who had just joked about me killing her in a basement, she was awfully trusting. She didn’t even hesitate as she walked up towards what looked like a church building. I kept close enough that I could hear her gasp when she got her first glimpse at the church ruins. “Oh, they’re magnificent!” she breathed. “I would have never thought to look back here. And with all those business offices all over the place…”

“I know. It’s an oasis. Keep walking, there’s a gate up here.”

“We can go in?!”

I grinned at her and her face positively glowed with light as she rushed up the path. I followed behind her, watching her explore among the ruins and the ivy. “The church was ancient,” I told her as her fingers brushed along a window frame. “I don’t know much about the history, but it was bombed during the Blitz. The church of England made the decision not to rebuild it and at some point, they decided to turn it into a public garden.”

“Our government would have just torn it down.”

I chuckled, watching as she nearly tripped over a paving stone as she stared up at a higher window. “Don’t start thinking too highly of the British. There was plenty of that, too. But these walls have stood for a thousand years, why tear them down now?”

But she wasn’t paying attention anymore, her focus was on the ruins surrounding us.

She was too beautiful for words and I couldn’t help myself. While she was distracted wandering around, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started taking pictures of her. The wonder in her eyes. The way her hair blew lightly in the wind. Framed in doorways. Through what was left of a window. I could see her mind working, imagining what it had looked like. How the stain glass would have looked. The way people would have walked through the doors for centuries, looking for faith in faithless times.

I had pieced together Keni’s love of history bit by bit over time, through conversations and other pieces of her life that I knew about. Her working in a museum and her fascination with Greek Mythology had been the most obvious, but there had been more. When we talked, she always had random bits of trivia for a lot of the places I was traveling to. She watched documentaries fairly often on Netflix and the majority were history related. She had never met a museum she didn’t love and when she was planning this trip, she had been the most excited for the tours of all of the historic places in the area.

It wasn’t hard, if you were paying attention.

I’m glad that I was because I can tell how much she’s loving this. I was worried that I was trying to shove too much into one day, but we needed this. She needed this; being able to enjoy the history of a place without worrying about how bored Ethan was or if Liv had wandered off or if Bethany was starting to get hangry.

We’re both going to be exhausted but it’s worth it to experience what it would be like if we could travel together.

Keni was reluctant to leave, but I had another surprise up my sleeve, more that I thought she needed to see. More that I wanted to show her.

“You really love this sort of thing, don’t you? History and all of that.” We were plodding our way down a sidewalk, hand in hand, towards the street. She had just trailed off from talking about what the buildings that were still standing had seen.

“History, culture, how people live and used to live… It’s always been a passion of mine. Getting that job in the museum was like a dream come true. Where are we going, now?”

I gently nudged her and pulled her back against my side. “Have I supplied any clues so far today?”

“No.”

“And did you like it all, anyway?”

“Please? A clue?”

I shook my head and gestured to the car with a business emblem on a sticker in the windshield pulling up onto the side street. “We’re getting in this car.” She turned wide eyes to me and I chuckled. “It’s a car service. They’re supposed to be picking us up, Keni.”

“I think you’re trying to get me killed.”

Opening the door for her, I grinned. “That’s not a very good birthday present, is it?”

The glare she gave me before she slid into the backseat of the car held no heat and yet it sent heated desire through me. I was starting to think that she could do no wrong. There was nothing about her or the things she did that made me want to duck and run. If I wasn’t so sure that where we were going next was going to be the best part of her day, I’d skip straight to the end of our day where I could finally get her alone after everyone went to bed.

That peaceful look on her face as she holds my hand across the middle seat and gazes out the window at the buildings passing by… I’d sell everything I own to have this moment forever. It always feels so right but so surreal to be in her space. To breathe in the scent of my soap on her skin as she brushed past me. To be able to reach out and touch her whenever I wanted.

Kendra:

The car turned onto a small street off Piccadilly and pulled to a stop. “A bookstore?” I asked, looking at the display window of a shop with a sign declaring that they sell rare books and prints, interest and confusion swirling around in my mind.

“Antique books, to be precise,” Niall said, his face neutral but a smug look in his eyes. “Prints, too. I thought you might want to look around for Noah. And before you get fussy about how expensive something is, it’s a gift to him from me, since he couldn’t make it on the trip with the rest of ya.”

Noah’s art. He always remembered Noah’s art.

Stepping through the doors was like walking into a warm embrace. It was like a library had been condensed and intensified. All around us were cases full of books, the familiar musty smell overpowering and riddled with age. They weren’t anything I had ever considered for myself-- why buy books that were so old you couldn’t even read them for pleasure? I found myself drawn to the nearest case, however. From surprisingly vibrant covers with finely embedded gold lettering to thick leather cracked with age, long life marked by discoloration.

“I hoped you’d like it,” Niall said, his hand brushing lightly across my lower back. “Take your time, Ken.”

Everywhere I looked there was something new drawing my attention. The way covers were painted. The detailing on leather bindings. I was touched that Niall had not only remembered my love of history and books but found a way to combine them in a way I hadn’t expected. “How did you guess I would enjoy this?” I asked as I took in the details on a book called Bill the Minder, light green with gorgeous gold detailing.

He shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’ve been in a library with you, Ken. And you always have a book on you when you leave the house. Too many sometimes, but that’s an old argument.” We both smirked at the memory of us arguing about how many books it took for me to write a paper.

After looking at all of the bookshelves, I went to look at the prints. I won’t lie, it’s not really something I’m overly interested in but I knew Noah would be all over it. He paints and draws, but he’s interested in every art medium there is. In the end, I find a vintage Olympic poster from the 1972 Olympics in Munich and a piece entitled “Gentleman Commoner & Nobleman, Pro Proctor” with three men wearing what looked to be graduation regalia from some time around the Victorian era, if I had to guess. It wasn’t my major area of interest when it came to history but it fits with Noah’s high school graduation coming up and I knew he’d appreciate it.

I had thought to argue with Niall about the prices until he gave me a look that promised his full stubborn rebuttal. I left well enough alone. In the end, it wouldn’t be nearly as much as buying Noah a ticket here and back would have been.

When we made our way up to the counter, I noticed a book sitting casually on its surface. I perked up instantly as I saw the black lettering embossed on the deep red cover: A Collection of Greek Mythology. There was an image that was taken from a Greek vase depicting a battle in the same black under the title and my fingers itched to pick it up.

“You can look through it, if you’d like,” the man standing behind the counter offered as he started on working up our order. I hesitated, not wanting to damage something that probably cost a fortune. In the end, curiosity got the best of me.

The top edge of the spine and the corners were frayed in a way I was familiar with-- the sign of a frequently used book. When I gently opened the cover, I discovered a list of names, previous owners I’m sure, in fuzzy pencil markings. The text was in clunkier letters than what you’d see now, and the spacing was different. Like it had been done on a typewriter. All of the most popular Greek myths were present, with pictures depicting key scenes at the beginning of each story. Occasionally, written in the margins were small notes or lines would be underlined. It was like peeking into someone’s textbook notes.

“How old is this?” I found myself asking the man who had been helping us.

He typed something into his computer and said, “The item intake says this edition was published in 1852.”

I would have ripped my hands away from it if they hadn’t been supporting the front cover and the pages I’d already turned. It wasn’t as old as some of the other books in the shop, I’m sure, but it was the oldest thing I’d touched in my life besides maybe a rock or a building.

I shut it gently and sighed.

“Do you like it?” Niall asked, leaning against the counter as he watched the man carefully pack away Noah’s gifts.

Nodding, I pulled my hands away from the cover. Every history documentary I’d ever seen had antique pieces handled with gloves. While this book wasn’t that old, I felt weird leaving the oil from my skin all over it. “I love it.”

“Good. Cause it’s yours.”

I stared at him blankly, my mind rushing to catch up. “Niall, you can’t. It’s too…”

Warm, thick fingers reach out and wrap around mine. “Don’t start in on the price again. It’s your birthday, Keni and I know how much you love Greek mythology. I already bought it.”

Today had already had too many surprises and my brain was struggling to keep up. “You already…”

His eyes were dancing. He knew he’d done well. “That book right there is the real reason we came, I needed to pick it up for you. I scoured every rare book shop in London looking for a book on Greek mythology for you. Had to use the online catalogues since I’ve been out of the country and you wouldn’t believe how hard it is finding one.”

My hand spasmed in his, gripping his fingers tighter as I looked at the book laying in front of me. “Most guys get a girl a bear or a cheap necklace for her first birthday after they start dating. You’re setting the bar way too high, Irish.”

His smile matched the delight in his eyes. “I’m planning on outdoing this birthday for many years to come.”

I stepped into his chest, wrapping my arms around him as the smell of him mixed with the smell of books in my senses. “It’s perfect. I don’t think you’re going to be able to top this one.”

“We’re still not done.”

----

Not being done included walking around looking at all of the shops before taking me to dinner at a nice French restaurant. I felt ridiculously underdressed but Niall either didn’t notice our relaxed attire or simply didn’t care. His attention was solely on me.

He flipped back to the wine selections and pointed at them. “I know you could drink here legally yesterday but it still seems momentous.”

I wasn’t even sure what to get, but our waiter was more than enthusiastic about helping me decide based on what I had enjoyed in my limited experience and what I was ordering to eat. Once he was gone, I asked Niall, “What did you do for your 21st birthday?” I thought about it for a minute and then corrected myself, “Probably what you do for all your birthdays. I forget that it’s not that magical number in most countries.”

Niall chuckled and shook his head. “We made a pretty big deal of it, alright. We had a concert day of, but I went to Vegas as soon as I could, since I could finally have the full experience. Don’t remember much of it, to be honest.”

“How very rockstar of you,” I tease. “Six months later and you’re having to be home in time to put a 7 year old to bed. My, how the mighty have fallen.”

Blue eyes lock onto mine. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Ken.”

Say what you want about the man, but Niall knows exactly where to get good food. The waitstaff are all attentive and in no time at all, I have a steaming plate of food right in front of me. He waited until I had a mouth full of fish before asking, “If you like history and anthropology so much, why aren’t you studying them?”

I nearly choke and take a few moments to chew properly and get my mind in order. “I have taken courses for them.”

“You know what I mean, Ken.”

I spin my fork around on my plate, half wondering if there’s someone with impeccable manners watching me and about to have a stroke. “I love them, but it’s not easy to make a career out of them. The financial risk is too great, especially with me helping out so much with the kids. I need something that has better odds of me finding a well-paying job.”

“Even if you’re not passionate about it?”

Thumbing the stem on my wine glass, I mulled over how to respond. “It’s not like I don’t care about helping people, it’s just not… my biggest interest. I don’t think there’s any harm in allowing your passion to just be a hobby in the name of doing what’s best for you and your family.”

“If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? Don’t worry about risks or your siblings for just a few minutes. What would it be?”

“I’d love to work in a history museum as an archivist or curator. Or take on a research position about ancient civilizations. Artifact research. It doesn’t really matter, as long as culture and history are involved.”

“So, you want to be Indiana Jones?”

I scrunched up my nose at him. “Would you hate me if I told you that I’ve never actually seen those movies?”

He stared at me, his jaw hanging slightly loose. “You’ve been living under a rock. Hurry up and finish your food. We’re going to go pick up cupcakes and get back to my place to fix that. Tonight.”

It wasn’t Vegas, but I couldn’t imagine a better day that he could have planned for me.

Master List

Chapter 28

#Niall Horan fan fiction #Niall Horan fan fic #One Direction fan fiction #One Direction fan fic #Niall Horan fanfiction #Niall Horan fanfic #One Direction fanfiction #One Direction fanfic #No Need to Regret #NNTR

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my-fanfic-soul · 6 years

Text

No Need to Regret: Chapter 26

From the Beginning

A small hand wrapped around mine as the plane started to bank, the pressure of it turning to start it’s decent pressing my stomach against my spine. I took a deep breath, trying to keep the mediocre in-flight meals firmly in my stomach as I coached myself through the anxiety of landing. I schooled my own face so that Olivia, who was terrified, wouldn’t know that I was just as scared.

“It’s almost over,” I assured her as I took in Bethany’s hands gripping her arm rests until her fingers were white. Only Ethan, the certified adrenaline junky in the family, looked completely at ease, straining to see out the window at the ground growing large below us. “There will be a bit of a bump when we touch down, but that’s it. The pilots know what they’re doing.”

The flight had been a long one and I couldn’t put into words how happy I was that the plane was about to land, anxiety be damned. The kids had been great, but a nine hour flight as your first flight was a lot to ask for anyone. Near the end they had all started getting antsy and I’d had to squash a few squabbles, but I couldn’t blame them. All I wanted to do was stretch my legs, get out of this seat, and take a shower.

Seeing Niall just felt like a bonus at this point.

“It’s just like a really long roller coaster,” a kinder older man from across the aisle offered supportively. He had noted that nervous excitement before we took off and had kindly chatted with them while everyone was boarding. As a more experienced flier, he was just trying to be nice. He had no way of knowing they had never been on one of those, either. The kids just nodded politely.

By the time the plane touched the ground, I thought Olivia was going to break my hand. She whimpered quietly when the plane bounced and rocked back and forth, but as soon as the plane obviously had all wheels on the ground, she relaxed.

“Don’t unbuckle yet, but make sure you have everything together,” I told them as I started running a mental tally of everything that had come out of my own carry on and making sure it wasn’t floating around in my seat or under my feet. The second the plane reached the gate and the fasten seat belt sign turned off, Olivia was up out of her seat, backpack over her shoulder as she bounced excitedly. There was nothing nervous about it anymore, it was just energy.

“You have to be patient,” Bethany told her knowingly, even though her own backpack was already in her lap and she was sitting at the edge of her seat. Olivia stuck her tongue out at her, but that was all she did.

To be fair, it was the happiest I had ever felt about standing up when it was finally our turn to get out of our seats.

Olivia looked up as we were getting off and asked, “Is he going to be waiting for us?”

I put a hand on her back to keep her moving forward so we wouldn’t get in people’s way. “Nope, I’m afraid not. He had work stuff this morning, but he’s supposed to be meeting us for lunch.”

“How are we getting there?” Ethan asked, hoisting his backpack up higher on his shoulder.

“He has a driver coming to pick us up.”

Olivia looked perplexed. “He pays someone to just… drive him around?”

Ethan looked equally confused. “And you wouldn’t let him pay for us to ride in first class?” He had been annoyed when I told him we were flying economy at my request and hadn’t really given it up, yet.

“No, he doesn’t just pay someone to drive him and his friends around. This is only because logistically he can’t pick us up. It’s like calling a cab, you can set up a time in advance. The driver will pick us up at the airport, drive us to the restaurant, and then leave. This isn’t the musical Annie.”

I kept Olivia close to my side while we made our way to baggage claim and then through customs. She let go of my hand when the sign “FREEMAN X4” being held by a middle-aged man came into view, awe in her voice as she said, “Is that for us?”

I couldn’t help but grin at the excitement in their eyes. “Yep, looks like it probably is.” It was a small touch, probably not even one Niall had planned, but from the looks on their faces it meant a lot to the kids. It was good for them to feel special from time to time.

A quick conversation confirming who we were, and we were being led out the door and to a waiting car. “This is so weird,” Bethany muttered as the car pulled into traffic on the left side of the road. I didn’t disagree, being on the wrong side of the road was disorienting. It felt like we were preparing to drive into oncoming traffic.

We hadn’t much more than gotten out of the airport before Ethan was pointing at a row of houses, all connected with little to no front yard, and saying, “Their houses are so weird. Are they all like that?”

“A lot of them,” the driver said cheerfully. “Less expensive building that way.”

Ethan still looked surprised. “There’s space between the houses in Harry Potter,” he muttered quietly and it took everything in me to not laugh out loud.

Next it was Bethany excitedly pointing out a bus in front of us. “The red double decker’s are real?!”

There was a collective note of surprise as we passed what Ethan declared was, “the fanciest McDonald’s ever.” I was glad they were here with me for my first trip to the U.K., their innocent fascination with what seemed normal to everyone around us was nice. The driver was more than polite, answering questions from curious kids and doing a convincing job of not thinking we were dumb Americans.

When we got to the restaurant, instead of dropping us off on the street, he pulled into a little alleyway with only a few parked cars. I was about to question it when I saw Niall step out of his Land Rover. In a second, all the tension I had been carrying drifted away. I didn’t remember unbuckling or getting out of the car, but I sure as hell remembered Niall’s smile widening as I rushed towards him.

His arms were around me and his voice was in my ear as he whispered, just for me to hear, “I’m so happy you’re here, love.” As soon as he let go of me, he was scooping Olivia into a hug. “Hey, kiddo,” he greeted her before planting her feet back on the ground and reaching for Bethany and Ethan at the same time. “How was the flight?”

“Olivia watched the same movie three times,” Ethan said.

“Yeah, but it’s not like you could hear it. You had your own screen and headphones,” Niall said simply. How quickly he had managed to deflect that one was impressive. Ethan had definitely said it with the full intent of riling up Olivia. Niall opened the tailgate on his car, seemingly not noticing that the twelve year old was looking at him flabbergasted, most likely not thinking that Niall would so effortlessly thwart his plans. Niall looked up and said, “Ethan? Help me with the luggage?”

Between Niall, Ethan, and the driver it was only a work of a minute to get all four suitcases and carry on bags shoved into the back of the car and once the driver was on his way. Niall led us back around to the front of the cafe. A few words were exchanged with the woman who greeted us and we were being led to the back of the cafe to a table as far from the windows as we could be. Even with that precaution, Niall instructed the kids to sit with their backs facing the street.

“How’s Noah?” he asked once we were all seated and our drinks ordered.

“Bummed he couldn’t come along,” I told him as his hand pressed into my thigh gently. He knew that I hadn’t felt right leaving him behind. “Baseball’s more important right now, though. He couldn’t miss the game this week and he knew that. He’s staying with Brad so he doesn’t have to drive as far, so that’s nice.”

Olivia piped up with, “He’s getting to spend time with Levi and none of the rest of us have even met him yet.” She was referring to our newest nephew who had just made his grand entrance last week. Sarah was grateful for another set of hands to help with Jonah, so he wasn’t causing them undue stress.

I had been nervous about how awkward things might be without the buffer of a Christmas party this time, but Niall was a natural at getting them to talk to him about school and the trip here. Even Ethan was enthusiastically recounting a goal he made in PE last week during a soccer match. This was only adding to my theory that Niall could make friends with a brick wall.

When our food had been dropped off, Niall turned to me and asked, “Did you have anything that you wanted to do today?”

Originally there had been plans. There was a museum I had wanted to go to, something relaxed but got us up and moving around. I didn’t want to waste a moment of this opportunity to expose the kids to something besides Houston, but I hadn’t really counted on sitting on my ass for nine hours being so exhausting. Niall noted the look on my face, the guilt mixed with a deep desire to just relax on a comfortable couch. “The museums will still be there tomorrow. London isn’t going anywhere overnight. I’m sure you’re all tired, so we can just go back to my place and relax for today.”

I was grateful when Bethany said, “That sounds great. I barely slept on the plane.” Olivia echoed her own lack of sleep, but it was Ethan that I was watching. He had slept on and off for most of the flight, so he wasn’t tired. To top that off, he wasn’t normally the type to enjoy just sitting around when there was an opportunity to do more. I was shocked when he reluctantly nodded in agreement, but I went with it.

---

The adrenaline started wearing off a bit towards the end of lunch, with Livy’s eyelids slowly becoming heavier and heavier. As we headed towards the car, Niall leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Did you sleep at all?” I shook my head and his hand rubbed my back, “Of course you didn’t.”

As we drove, Niall pointed out things like his favorite shops and kept a running commentary on traffic. He kept us laughing with his explanations on the British obsession with roundabouts and saying that traffic is the main reason he’d take his chances walking and riding the tube most of the time.

“Wouldn’t the sidewalks just be full if everyone walked?” Olivia asked, her curious eyes following someone with rainbow dreads.

“Aye,” Niall agreed. “They do get packed, but it’s easier and safer to dodge a human than to dodge a car.”

“Chicken…” Ethan muttered in a stage whisper and everyone, including Niall, laughed again.

The kids asked questions the entire drive and Niall never hesitated to answer them, even if they seemed a bit silly, like when Ethan asked if cars worked differently because they drove on the left instead of the right side of the street. He didn’t laugh until Olivia, eyes wide enough to reflect the high rise in its entirety, asked as Niall turned into the drive for an underground parking garage, “Woah! Is this your house?!”

He chuckled as Bethany asked, “You have your own parking garage?”

“No, this isn’t just mine. I have a flat, way up near the top. Tons of other people live here.”

“So, you have roommates?”

His eyes were glittering at their obvious confusion, but he controlled it well. “No, I don’t. It’s like what your sister lives in, an apartment building. There’s a couple of flats per floor, we don’t all live together. It’s just me in my flat.”

Ethan’s voice was quiet as he muttered, “This isn’t like any apartment I’ve ever seen…”

“They have some in Austin and Houston like this,” I told him as Niall pulled into a spot. “We’ve just never been in them.”

Once everyone was out of the car Niall pulled out all of the luggage, keeping mine and Olivia’s suitcases in his hands. “Come on, lift’s this way.”

“What’s a lift?”

Niall had every reason to start getting annoyed. Olivia and Ethan were questioning every minor difference between small town Texas life and this, but he continued to be the sweetest he could be, patiently answering their questions. “You call them elevators in the states.”

“Oh, good,” Livy sighed. “I thought were going to have to climb stairs to get there.”

Shaking his head with another chuckle, Niall tapped in another access code before walking into a grand foyer. “Hey, Albert,” he greeted a man sitting behind a desk who waved back. Quieter, as he ushered everyone onto the lift, he said, “That’s Albert, he’s one of the security team for this building. There’s always someone around the clock. They watch out for anyone being shady, but they won’t give you trouble while you’re here.”

The second Niall opened his door, the kids exploded in admiration. Even I turned to Niall and said, “Wow, this is really nice, Irish.” Everything was modern and clean, just like Niall had told me he liked to decorate his bachelor pads, but there was still something that felt familiar about it. It was very Niall, even without the picture frames filled with photos of Niall’s travels and some of his concerts. The most Niall part was definitely the guitar placed conveniently next to the couch.

The most impressive part, the bit that had all of us gravitating towards it, was the floor to ceiling windows that showcased a wonderful view of the city. Olivia turned to look at him, awe in her eyes as she declared, “I can’t believe you live here!”

Niall replied simply, “I can’t either.” My heart softened at the look on his face, but he didn’t pause for sentimentality. He moved towards a small hallway on the other side of his kitchen. “Beth, Liv, you’re going to be sharing a room over here. Sorry, Ethan, but you’re going to be on the couch. I’ve only got two bedrooms in this place.”

Livy looked up at me, pure innocence as she asked, “Where are you going to sleep, Keni?”

I could feel my face turning three different shades of red as Bethany coughed to cover up a laugh. Looking up, I saw the back of Niall’s neck was as red as I felt. “I’ll be sleeping in Niall’s room.”

“But he’s a boy!” she argued and I could feel the heat radiating off of my face as I started steering her towards the room her and Beth would be sharing. I hadn’t really considered the fact that our own family’s beliefs or not, she had been raised in the conservative south. Even at seven she wasn’t too young to have been exposed to those expectations.

“Yes, he is,” I told her, mouthing an apology to Niall as I pushed her into the bedroom. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere else. “And we’re dating, so we’re going to be sharing a room.”

“You aren’t married,” Olivia pressed, not bothering to keep her voice down at all. From the living room I could hear Bethany guffawing and Ethan snickering.

“We are not and that’s ok.”

Niall regained his footing and I heard him tell the other two, “Alright, real funny. Go unpack your suitcases and make yourself at home. Ethan, there’s a closet over here you can hang your shirts in and you’re all sharing a bathroom, so you can put your shower stuff in there.”

“But Jessica Gates says…” Liv started

Of course, the child that loves to parrot her dad’s sermons was the one that Olivia had decided to latch onto. “Jessica Gates can say whatever she pleases. There’s nothing wrong with two adults sharing a room, rather they’re married or not. Which side of the closet do you want your shirts and dress hung on?”

It took some more deflection before I finally got her distracted enough to drop the subject of where I would be sleeping. I left Beth to help her get the room settled for a week and headed back into the living room to check on Ethan. I found him sitting next to his suitcase looking sheepish and on edge.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

His voice was quiet, but defensive, like he was waiting for me to yell at him so he could yell back as he said, “I forgot my toothbrush.” I didn’t say anything, taming my own frustration as I remembered calling up the stairs at my dad’s house that they needed to double check to make sure they had all their toiletries. “I don’t have any underwear, either. I forgot it in the dryer.”

Great. Perfect. I couldn’t help but immediately think he had done this on purpose. He had been so deliberate in trying to push buttons, trying to get me to react, lately that I couldn’t help myself. Made even more frustrating by the fact that he had seemed to be doing so well today while we traveled. He had been in good spirits and had even helped with the suitcases without being asked at the airport.

I had just wanted things to go smoothly. For this trip to be what his spirit needed and for Niall to see the good side of all three of them while we were here. Selfishly, part of me was wondering why the attention of getting to go to another country wasn’t enough. Why did he have to get in trouble when he was already getting more attention than he would at home?

But looking at him now, I saw the embarrassment in his eyes and I felt guilt bite at my gut. He was being confrontational now because he was trying to mask his own embarrassment at having left behind things that were so important. No twelve year old wanted to tell his sister that he had forgotten his underwear in an entirely different country. Taking a deep breath, I said, “Alright, after we rest up, I can take you to try and find some new ones.”

“I’m not tired. We can go now.”

I sighed, “I know, but you slept on the plane. I did not. We can go later.”

“But my teeth feel gross now!”

I could relate. I really could. All I wanted to do more than nap was change my clothes and brush my teeth. I could hear our sisters already freshening up a bit. Being on a plane made you feel gross and intercontinental flights were even worse. I felt like falling asleep on my feet, but I also knew that Ethan was going to take it personally if I didn’t try to accommodate him. Normally, I would hold my own, but I didn’t want to expose Niall to Hurricane Tweenager this early in the trip. He was embarrassed about forgetting his things and I was embarrassed by his attitude lately. On top of that, I felt guilty that I had expected the worst of him and I didn’t know how to make up for it.

Niall cut in, I hadn’t even noticed him standing in the kitchen that opened out into the room. “I can take you,” he offered, reaching for the jacket he must have just taken off. “Your sisters can sleep and I’ll drive you to the shops. I know where everything is, anyway.”

“You don’t have to do this,” I whispered as Niall moved over to where I was standing, his hands casually in his pockets. The look he gave me told me was one of deliberately oblivious innocence.

Out loud, he said, “It’s not a problem, really. You’re dead on your feet, Kendra. I’ve got this.” I felt guilty for foisting Ethan on him right now, when the effects of international travel were obviously starting to catch up with him. But I was tired and I knew that if we went off while I was already agitated, that Ethan and I were just going to feed off of each other.

Finally, I relented, “If you don’t mind, I’d really appreciate it.”

---

The boys gone, I checked in on the girls, and then retreated into Niall’s room. I had seen it enough over FaceTime, but I think even if I hadn’t, I would know this was Niall’s room. It smelled like him and it gave off an aura that was as familiar as Niall was. The golf clubs sticking out of the closet were a bit of a dead giveaway, too.

While I brushed my teeth I couldn’t help but think that it was probably a good thing that the house in Texas was going to have two separate sink spaces. I would never describe myself as messy, but standing in Niall’s bathroom, I knew we were on a completely different level of “clean.” Everything was in its place and there wasn’t a single water mark anywhere to be seen. I was very conscious about not leaving a trace of toothpaste in the sink when I was done. I could only hope that years of traveling with other boys had prepared him for having three kids in his house for a week.

Back in his room, I dropped down on top of the comforter, noting that it felt like I was cuddling with five hundred of his jackets. He was going to be lucky if I didn’t smuggle one of these pillows home with me, they were the most comfortable things I’d ever put my head on. The mattress, though, was still a little too soft.

That did nothing to affect my ability to nap, though. After barely sleeping Thursday night and not sleeping on the plane at all, I think I could have fallen asleep on a cheap, half inflated air mattress with little to no complaint. I was dead to the world until I heard the soft click of the bedroom door gently closing.

I sat up in a rush, confused by the haze of a long nap until Niall’s smirk came into better focus. “It’s just me, love,” he teased as he moved across the room. “It is my house after all.”

“How could I forget?” I replied. “Your bathroom looks like it’s ready to be on the front cover of some magazine at any minute.” I watched as he went to his closet and started pushing shirts aside and taking out hangers. It occurred to me that I had fallen asleep before I had hung up the things that I didn’t want to get wrinkled.

As I quietly started slipping things onto the hangers Niall was handing me, I asked, “How was shopping with Ethan? He didn’t give you any trouble, did he?”

Niall shook his head as he sat down on the bed, reclining back on his palms as he watched me. “No, he was great. I don’t think he’s used to me enough to be deliberately rude, to be perfectly honest.” Absently, he straightened a crease out of one of my shirts. “I’ve had more talkative company, but he was helpful with picking out some snacks and the like for while you’re here. He’s more attentive than he wants to admit. He could tell me exactly what each of you would like.”

“He is a sweet kid.” The guilty feeling was back. I hated that my immediate thought was that he was going to get into trouble or say something rude. I wanted to be able to blame it on me being cranky from being tired today, but a small part of me knew that today wasn’t the only day I had jumped to those conclusions. I couldn’t blame it on a long day of traveling.

One of his thumbs caressed down my arm, pulling me out of my thoughts before Niall stood up, collecting the pile of clothes on hangers to go put in his closet. “I know he is. Life’s just stupid hard and he’s got the short end of the stick so far.” His eyes caught mine, holding them as he said, “Things have been hard for all of you. Your heart’s in the right place, Kendra. You can’t always be perfect.”

I turned back to my suitcase, making sure everything else was folded up neatly before I zipped it back closed. “I just want things to be good while we’re here.”

“This doesn’t mean things won’t be good while you’re here. Keni, that was barely anything at all. Traveling is rough, but this trip will be good for all of you. I have a brother, I know what it’s like. You don’t have to pretend that you’re all some perfect sitcom family. Now that you’ve had some rest you’re going to go back to being the fair person I know you are.”

“You’re probably going to regret saying that, and inviting us, after you have to listen to Ethan and Bethany going at each other’s throats.”

Soft fingers brushed against my chin, turning my head so I was looking directly into Niall’s eyes. “I’m not going to regret anything. I’m really glad you’re here, Keni.” My heart melted as his face leaned closer to mine, but before he made contact he stopped and smirked. He leaned back a bit, so he could see my reaction as he said, “Are you sure we should be kissing? I don’t think Jessica Gates would approve.”

“Niall…”

“No, no, no,” he teased, pulling farther away while I glared. “I don’t want to get in the way of your being right with Jesus and the pastor.”

Fingers bunched around the front of his shirt, I pulled him to me with a bit more force than I had intended as I growled, “Oh, shut up and just kiss me.”

I didn’t have to tell him twice.

Master List

Chapter 27

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