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wandasaura · 2 months

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I CANT PROMISE PICKET FENCES

summary — maria’s always been married to her job, but lately she’s been married to the idea of a future with you

prompt — sharing long term dreams, goals and aspirations with one another x talking late into the night

song — black and white by niall horan

🌞⊹ ˚ . 18+, men/minors dni ⁺ 𓈒 ꒰🧺꒱ 🌷 ･ mommy maximoff ✧

Spring with Maria always felt fresh. There was just something about the way the flowers enhanced the blue in her eyes and the way her muscles got softer with the weather. She was still your hard headed girl, a woman that would not be swayed easily no matter who she was up against, but a delicacy came to light within her when the weather warmed up and the cherry blossoms bloomed.

It was your opinion that Maria looked especially ethereal dressed in uniform. The navy blue material brought out the softest wisps of gray in her blue eyes, and the slickback hairstyle she incorporated into her daily appearance was particularly eye-catching, exposing the harsh cut of her jaw and the sharp contour of her naturally slim nose. It wasn’t as soft as her wardrobe at home; loose fitting sweatpants that did wonders for her waistline and some old t-shirt that she claimed had too much sentimental value to toss in the donation pile, but still, to you she looked absolutely diaphanous. You supposed you had to appreciate the uniform, she wore it more often then she did her own clothes, and even now, it was clad to her body like a winter glove as she spun around in her desk chair, two black pens twirling between the slender fingers that were skilled in delicate acts of intimacy. Those same fingers that twirled ballpoint pens between bruised knuckles were fingers that had traced every inch of your skin, and simultaneously pulled a trigger to end the life of someone who had started this life out as an innocent. Maria Hill didn’t have a violent bone in her body, but she owned a heart that fought for justice.

The bed that Maria had picked out for your bedroom was big. It was big enough for two people to roll around in with an abundance of space between warm bodies and the abrupt edge, but most nights you occupied it alone, and the expense of soft memory foam around either side of your body felt suffocating. Most nights, you occupied Maria’s chosen side of the bed, curled up tight with the blankets pulled taught around your shoulders. Her pillows smelt of the shampoo she favored each time you went grocery shopping, but the sheets lingered with the notes and elements of her perfume that she sprayed all of her clothes with routinely. She was the only woman you knew that kept a bottle of perfume on her bedside table, but you were grateful each night you fell into bed alone and became enveloped in her delicate scent.

The bottle of perfume on her nightstand had become your temporary tripod as you propper your phone up against it, cocooning yourself beneath heavy blankets and soft pillows as she laid on your side to really look at her, and although the room you occupied was dark and dressed only in slivers of moonlight that slipped into the bedroom, she could see every blemish on your face perfectly. The fluorescent lighting of the helicarrier gave her a radiant glow, and the brightness of her settling bled into yours like she wasn’t really so far away. That thought was merely for your own comfort, realistically you knew that she was somewhere far right now, probably hovering over the rubble of Sokovia or perhaps even farther. She wouldn’t be home for another three nights, but for a moment, if you let yourself drown in the symphony of her laughter that was as sweet and fresh as the songs of a hummingbird, it felt like she was with you.

“How’s Clint doing?” You questioned softly, cheek pressed firmly against the pillowcase beneath your head and muffling your words slightly. Maria’s lips twitched upward into a fond grin, and her blue eyes traced every shadow across your face as she memorized the sight of you.

“He’s hanging in there. Misses the kids, misses Laura. He and Nat have been really overdoing the Budapest jokes.” Maria rolled her eyes fondly, her agitation merely pretend as she thought about the birdbrain man and the silent dancer that found themselves beneath her wing. You’re glad that she has some semblance of familiarity, that she’s not entirely alone to act as the Deputy Director, but you miss her either way.

“Laura’s been sending me pictures of the kids.” You smiled, propping your head up on the pillow with your fist, eyes dancing across Maria’s face as you scan her for injuries she’s conveniently forgotten to mention. Your lips curl further upward when you come up empty handed, but you can’t relax completely knowing there are still hours in the day and multiple nights before she’s home safe and awake from warfare. “Lila and Cooper got into the chicken coop yesterday. Had a water balloon fight with the eggs.”

Maria’s nose crinkled at the thought of two young children she was entirely fond of pelting each other with eggs, but there was something different in her eyes at the mention of the Barton children. Conversation always flowed between the pair of you naturally, and the lifestyle of Laura Barton was something you’d discussed in length, both of you friends with the woman who had suspended her life in duty to raise three children. You’d never seen Maria so conflicted over a story of her latest adventure, but recently she’d been falling into her head a lot more, surrendering to whatever daydreams she liked to construct when the present became too boring. “Penny for your thoughts?” You offered quietly, eyes kind and questioning.

Maria’s silence stretches, her expression becoming increasingly conflicted, but eventually her voice fills the bedroom again and it’s like she’s not really gone at all. “Do you ever think about what Clint has?” She asks softly, soft enough for you to pick up on the fact that she’s not asking in the generic sense; she’s wondering if you want what he has. Maria’s always been open about the fact that she’s content in her career, she’s not overly fond of the travel, but she’s content with devoting her life to two things; you and shield. The question that hangs in the area is uncharted territory, but you’re ready to dive into the adventure with her. You’re ready to talk about a future outside of Shield and how you see your life in five, ten, fifteen years. You’re ready to love her eternally, because you know that you have since the moment she asked you to be her girlfriend.

“I do. I especially like to think about you in a pair of overalls collecting eggs.” Your giggles pulled a smile over Maria’s features, completely ridding the looming tension that pulled at her eyebrows and replacing it with that lightness that only spring could create. “I do, Mia. I think about it all the time. I was just waiting for you to be ready. Are you? Ready, I mean.”

Maria was always a concentrated speaker. She thinks fully and deeply about the conversations she holds and the responses she gives, especially to those she cares about personally. She’s extremely rash in her decisions that involve adventure, she’ll wake you up at four in the morning talking about racing the sunrise and finding the coast to watch it fully, but her words are always heedful. Nobody can believe that after so many years together you’ve never fought, but if they took the time to know Maria the way that you do, that wouldn’t be so hard to understand. She didn’t hesitate to nod her head at your question, though. She took no time to consider how she felt about your future. Even if she didn’t say it, she didn’t half to. Just by knowing Maria you know that this is something she’s been shifting over for months. The thought of her cementing your future in her mind before she dared to bring it up to you brought a light smile over your lips.

“Two kids. I know you said you wanted three when we first started talking, but I think we’d be perfect for two. Two little boys, not twins, but close enough in age that everybody who sees us stops to ask. We’d use the same donor for both of them, so they know that no matter what anybody tells them about having two moms, they know that they’re connected and they’re brothers.” Maria trails off, a soft smile on her face that you want to kiss away until she falls into a fit of giggles. Instead, you clutch one of your pillows to your chest, hugging it tightly and wishing it was her.

“Two boys, huh?” You quirked a teasing eyebrow. “You want to be a boy mom, Maria Hill? Think you can handle all the wrestling matches and dirt?”

“They’ll know better. We’ll teach them to take their shoes off before they come in from outside. I’ll wrestle with them. Clint was talking about these play couches Laura got the kids. We’ll get them for the boys, set them up on the floor so nobody gets hurt. But we’ll sit on the couch behind them and watch. We’ll kiss imaginary boo-boos and we’ll play dress up. We’ll teach them that it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to need a hug. It won’t be like the way I was raised. They won’t hide their mistakes in fear of our reaction, and when they’re teenagers they’ll think we’re badass. I wasn’t ready to think about all of this before. I wasn’t ready to find out if I’d be just like my parents, but I’m ready now. I’m ready to start talking about everything, and buying a house. We can’t live in that apartment forever, I won’t let you live in that apartment forever. I can’t promise a picket fence life. I can’t say that I’m ready to leave my position entirely, but I am ready to start prioritizing our future the way that I prioritize the now.”

You held onto every word that fell off of Maria’s lips and filled the silence of your bedroom so cautiously. Your eyes glimmered with tears that pool in your waterline, disrupting the image of her sat at her desk in front of a stack of papers and mission reports, and although unconventional to be having this conversation for the first time continents away from one another, it’s entirely perfect. She’s perfect. “Five year plan. We’ll find a house, we’ll start the process. I don’t need a picket fence life, Maria. I just need you.”

A yawn pulled at your lips, nose scrunching as you snuggled deeper into her side of the bed. The time on your phone didn’t feel like an accurate depiction of the hours that had passed since you called her, but as the early hours dawned closer and closer to sunrise, you knew that eventually you would fall asleep, and when you woke up it would be a new day but the bed would still be lonely. You weren’t ready to say goodbye to her yet, you wanted to talk about the future until you were blue in the face and she was home by your side, but Maria never let you compromise your schedule. “Sleep, sweetheart. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Stay with me.” You whispered softly, eyes fluttering shut as you surrendered to the pressure of exhaustion behind your eyes. It had been a long three weeks of missing her, but the time apart only grew smaller each time you fell asleep. Even so, you didn’t want to fall asleep alone in a home that you share with her. Even if she couldn’t hold you, you wanted to fall asleep knowing that she was watching you like she did every night when she was here. “I just want to know that you’re here, at least partially.”

You couldn't see Maria, but you knew that she was smiling at you, probably with the cap of her ridiculous Stark Industries pen between her teeth. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here.”

You smiled, nodding your head. “I love you, Mia.” “I love you too, cariña.” You didn’t open your eyes to see her smile, but you could hear it in her voice, and only seconds later, you fell asleep knowing that the future you had always wanted was one step closer to fully being yours.

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