Brett: Three years ago today, I married my best friends. Brett: Nolan, Corey, and Theo are still mad, but Mason, Liam, and I were drunk and thought it was hilarious.

Mason: Yesterday, I overheard Liam saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Brett replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Liam: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Mason: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Liam: Wh-What? nO, yOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Brett, recording: This is so cute.

Liam: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not! Mason: Liam, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday. Liam: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it! Brett: ...It was a bug. Liam: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not! Mason: ... Brett: ... Liam on the verge of tears: Stop looking at me like that!

Mason: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Brett: They do. Liam: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Mason: Brett, Liam, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Brett, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Liam is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Liam: I love you too :)

Mason: What’s it like being tall? Mason: Is it nice? Mason: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Brett: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. Liam: It was one time!

Kid Liam: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. Kid Brett or Mason: I witnessed the dumb stuff. Kid Lori: I recorded the dumb stuff. Kid Mason or Brett: I joined you in the dumb stuff. Teen Camden: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

*Camden babysitting Liam, Mason, and Brett*

Kid Liam: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Teen Camden: No, that's not how you make cookies. Kid Mason: FLOOR IT!! Kid Liam: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Teen Camden: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Kid Liam: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FREAKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Kid Brett: DO IT! Teen Camden: NO-

Isla, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down. Alec: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven... Camden, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven? Isla, spraying Alec: You FUCKING DUMBASS! Alec: Dude, I forgot- Isla: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!? Liam to Mason and Brett: I now know how Cam felt when the three of us were younger. Brett: We weren’t that bad. Mason: *Bitchface* Theo: I didn’t even know you guys back then and I know you were this bad.

Liam: Look at the buns on that guy! Brett: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns* Mason: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny! Liam *Pulls out water gun*: I'm not going back to jail!

*Camden babysitting Liam, Mason, and Brett*

*Everyone is playing a board game together* Kid Brett: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'. Teen Camden: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'. Kid Liam: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'. Kid Mason: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'. Kid Liam: *flips the board*

*Camden babysitting Liam, Mason, and Brett*

Kid Liam: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Kid Mason: That's deep. Kid Brett: That means that ketchup is a smoothie. Kid Mason: That's deeper. Teen Camden: ...You guys are idiots.