weirdly specific questions: How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’?

if ur still doing this!

I have had this sitting in my inbox for SO MANY MOONS, I am sorry (BG3 is eating my life), thank you for the ask <3 <3

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Elijah: haha... ahahaha. :') He is practically allergic to it. I don't think he's ever said it to anyone who wasn't his mom, and even then it was like pulling (very sincere) teeth.

Once someone told him he was their friend and they cared about him and it was enough to have him packing his bags in the middle of the night without word or warning and fleeing manfully going on a perfectly normal work trip straight to the Bozjan front (forced medical leave be damned). Very normal and healthy response to the threat prospect of sincere attachments.

it's not that he hasn't loved anyone. If he was being honest with himself -- which is something he struggles with, to be fair -- he is probably maybe sorta hopelessly and stupidly in love fond of someone presently. The kind of fond with embarrassingly soft feelings involved. However, when faced with this person saying I love you to him, Elijah's first response was to internally panic while externally shutting down, say something incredibly dismissive and a little bit unkind, then attempt to abscond without any intention of ever coming back (A classic, really). He didn't get as far as the last part this time but it was an impulse that struck him right down to his core.

But, despite everything, even if he might not say it, he does show he cares. Regularly. It's one of the few areas in his overly verbose life where he errs entirely in the realm of show rather than tell.

I rambled more than intended (on brand, given the character) so I am only going to answer quickly for the other two lads:

Baiju: He used to be very free with it for his mother and brother before he left home, but it's a phrase he reserves more for sincerely deep affection that is either familial or romantic. He finds it very easy to verbalize his affections for those he cares about in other ways. Declarations like: I care about you, you are important to me, I consider you to be as kin, etc etc.

Larkspur: Completely free with it, liberated from the confines of attaching meaning to I Love You beyond it being a thing said to a person who you like in that moment. It has lead to at least one (1) internal crisis with a friend back in Kugane -- who was both relieved and unexpectedly disappointed when he realized that Lark just meant "thanks for buying me soba dude, I was soooo hungry!"