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darawonplease · 3 years
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⭒ dear mr. Insanity [one shot]
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Chaerin and Ian have been hanging out for a while now but she just can't figure out if the interest goes both ways. He leaves her living room as soon as the ending credits roll but one day she finally decides to change the course of the night.
characters: Christian Yu x Chaerin Lee
"We're just seeing each other, it's nothing really"— that was your standard reply every time your friends started investigating the foolish smiles you casually threw at your phone.
It was like that indeed, you had been hanging out with the people at the DPR label for quite a while and still couldn't or didn't want to define what was developing between you and Christian.
Of course, you had exchanged some fleeting gazes, it seemed as if everyone else could see the sparks except the both of you.
He was a mesmerizing human puzzle.
It seemed like you knew everything and nothing at the same time and that made you go out of your mind.
All the songs you listened to reminded you of him and these sneaky tricks your mind played made you unusually careful around him.
.
.
You were halfway through the movie, but your thoughts were elsewhere.
That was the third or fourth time you hung out alone at your place and you just started to think that maybe— just maybe, he simply was a movie enthusiast in search for company, although it was quite unrealistic he thought you had the same sublime taste as him.
Nothing ever happened apart from some very witty comments he left here and there on the composition and colours of the scene. With a slow nod, you pretended to fully understand his argument, but after all, you were the person under the flashing lights, not behind the camera like him.
Christian wasn't the talkative one when you hung out altogether with Dabin and Scott but when it came to his area of expertise it seemed like he could talk for hours without halting, you could literally feel his burning passion through his enthusiasm. You really couldn't help but fall for his charisma.
"So— how was it?".
He turned around to look at you, the credits now rolling on the large screen in front of the couch.
You recomposed yourself, his question was simple, but you just realized that you had spent the last portion of the movie sorting out your feelings for the guy on your couch and his quirky way of expressing outlandish ideas.
Your eyes naturally laid on the clock over his head.
"Gosh—it's so late already", you exclaimed.
"Shit, you're right. I should head home", Christian quickly collected all of his stuff and clumsily put on a pair of Adidas at the entrance of your flat.
"It seems like you're dying to get out of here", you mocked him.
"I should let you rest; I've bothered you enough for today", he chuckled, his dimples making an appearance on his flushed cheeks.
"Well, see you around then", you waved at him right before closing the door.
The night was about to go down just like the ones before that: stuck in an endless loop of maybes and ambiguous looks. No resolution, just a slow tease.
You hated how much it gave you to think. What if he really was a cinephile? Did you really want to know if that feeling went both ways?
The unfamiliar leather jacket still hung on the rack caught your eye. You quickly figured out he forgot to grab it.
You quickly opened the door, perhaps you were still in time to stop the clumsy guy.
"Wait Ian!".
His fluffy locks bounced on the tan skin as he turned around, "Huh? Did I forget something?".
Clueless, Christian hurried back to your doorstep.
"What is it?, he rested his hand at the top of the doorframe and leaned onto you.
"Your jacket", you playfully wiggled it in your hand.
"Shit— that's mine, isn't it?". He uselessly hid his face against his arm in embarrassment.
"It really is", you mocked him.
The two of you looked at each other, incapable of saying the next word.
The uncomfortable silence clearly spoke for itself, heightening the tension forming between the two of you.
"Well, I'll get going".
"Have a good night". He disappeared behind the door again.
Your hand couldn't let go of the handle. You opened the door one more time, suddenly invested by some unknown courage.
"Stay".
You caught the hint of surprise in his eyes, widened by your unexpected request. His brows furrowed slightly as he searched for elucidation.
"I'm tired of hoping you'd stay", you followed up.
He looked straight at you. It seemed like he was aware of how much of a sucker you were for his deep brown eyes.
His gaze slowly shifted on your lips. Now, was he still just a movie enthusiast?
Your lips gently brushed, he smiled softly as you grabbed his arms, leading him inside your flat.
Ian swiftly closed the door behind you two.
"I've been wanting to kiss you for too long", he confessed letting out a chuckle.
Ian's big hands reached your cheek. You were surprised by the softness of his skin. His touch was gentle, just like his demeanour.
"Then do it, dummy".
He didn't even hide the smirk on his lips before kissing you again, this time with more pressure; his intentions clear as day.
Ian perfectly followed your lead, matching your intensity with mastery. Your mind was about to melt, how could a simple kiss make someone feel so elated?
Just how could you rob yourself of his lips for all this time? You felt dumb for missing out on all of those chances.
His thumb caressed your ear as the two of you slowly moved against the blank wall of the hallway.
"I'm sorry miss, I'm afraid I won't let you rest tonight", he whispered into your ear with his raspy voice, drowning you in a shower of unspeakable fantasies.
The goofy guy you had spent so much time with had just pinned you against the wall, his tongue slowly drawing wet circles on your sensitive neck.
Your fingers unknowingly gripped onto his black shirt as your mind slowly melted away only to be interrupted.
"Are you really okay with this?", he carefully distanced himself, making sure you were comfortable again.
"I super-am, dummy".
.
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!! here another CLxDPRIAN that might interest you ✵ polaris , it’s still on-going. The genre is romance/angst.
a.n. Since I'm stuck with the completion of 'polaris' I thought I might just give a chance to a light chaerian one-shot. I took some inspiration from "Dear Mrs. Insanity" and "Do I Wanna Know" lyrics and just went on from there.
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sweeter-fantasy · 3 years
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Kitties to Love
Nafla x reader
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genre: fluff, romance
synopsis: friends to lovers, I don’t really know what else to say
word count: 707
a/n: I honestly never read anything about him, and I don’t know much about, I just like his music and I hope you will like it 😊
You were sure you had the worst week ever. Your coworkers were being extra annoying and mean, you were caught in the rain, a car splashed you and ruined your favorite shirt, you fought with your parents, and got a parking ticket because of your work. 
You were on the verge of crying from frustration when you heard a knock on your door. You got up, trying not to stumble over the random objects on the floor. 
You opened the door to see your best friend’s red fluffy hair, and before you could say a word he was already in the middle of your living room, hands on his hips, a confused look on his face.
“What’s with all the mess here?” he laughed, walking towards the kitchen, careful not to stumble over anything.
“I may have, accidentally, sort of, adopted five cats?”
“Excuse me? How do you accidentally adopt five cats?”
“Well, I had a bad week at work, so I decided to pass by that one cat cafe next to work, and they offered me to adopt one, and I thought it would be a good idea,” you said while trying to organize the living room, “but I couldn’t just choose one, I mean look at them! They’re so cute! And the owner said that they came from the same litter and that they’re always together! I couldn’t just separate them, Nicholas!”
“Oh y/n what am I going to do with you?” he laughed while taking food out of your fridge.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m completely normal-” you rolled your eyes at his comment, only then noticing his actions “-what are you doing?”
“You said you had a bad week, so I’m making you something tasty to chill out. Now when am I going to meet these kitties?”
“They’re asleep on my bed, so maybe a little later when they’ll be hungry.”
While Nicholas was cooking dinner, you were telling him about your week, he was telling you about his. You were eating and laughing until you heard a chorus of cute meows coming towards where you were sitting.
“Hey babies,” you cooed, moving to sit on the floor and pet the kittens, “did we wake you up? I’m so sorry my babies.”
Nicholas’s laugh reminded you he was still in the room. You turned to him and grinned.
“I promised to introduce you to them,” you giggled, picking each one of the cats, kissing their heads and showing them to Nicholas, “this is Mr. Mittens, that’s Lady Tulip, this is Tofu, Cookie Monster, and last but not least, John.” 
Nicholas looked at you, smiling widely as you cooed at your cats, knowing they got the best kittie parent in the world. He felt so content being there with you, wishing he could spend every evening with you.
“Hey, y/n, can I tell you something?”
“Sure, what’s up?” you sat in front of him, noticing his sudden serious tone.
“Well, here goes nothing,” he sighed deeply, “I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.”
You looked at him, your mouth hung open, not knowing where to look, or what to think. The room was silent.
“I knew I shouldn’t have told you, forget about it, I should leave, goodnight,” he got up, grabbing his jacket and going towards the door.
“No! Nicholas wait!” you stood up as quickly as you could, practically slamming into him as you hugged him from behind, stopping him from getting to the door.
“Don’t leave, please,” your voice came out muffled as your face was squashed against his back, “I think I’m in love with you too, please stay.”
“Wait, what?” he turned to you, holding you at arm’s length.
“I love you, but why are you terrified?”
“Your reaction, I was terrified you wouldn’t love me back, and what if people found out, and what if-” “-shut up Nicholas, don’t be an idiot, of course I would love you back, and screw what others think!”
Nicholas hugged you tightly, whispering ‘I love you’ in your ear, and for the rest of the night you didn’t stop smiling, your week may have been shitty, but it ended in the best way possible.
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darawonplease · 3 years
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「 ✵Chaerin's POV」
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I had lost count of the gorgeous women I've seen him intertwining hands with.
Jiyong blew them off like birthday candles; with extreme ease. One by one, week to week, month to month. He swore he was in love with them but he was quick to forget about the lover of the week whenever I came around. Like a sunflower, I only looked at the unreachable Sun, dependent on his warm light.
.
His hands scorched the cheeks reddened by those sweet nothings.
"You're the only one who really gets me".
Those words cast a spell on me, capable of dissipating the soul-eating guilt chasing me. Like a fool, I believed I could change him, just because I felt special.
.
When I rested my eyes, I recalled the tender embraces, the carefree getaways and the passionate moments first, as if he wasn't the culprit of the heartbreak I hopelessly tried to go through for years.
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Thank you for the irreplaceable memories, Jiyong.
Thank you for the heartbreak.
.
✵ ch.5 – thnx.
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I witnessed the ash slowly falling off from the stick and crashing onto the incense holder, its fragrant aroma gave some relief to my exhausted mind.
Hours and hours of negotiations ended in nothing; those technicalities only gave me giant headaches.
In the incessant run towards my goals, I found myself last. No matter how much I worked for it, it was always out of my reach. And just as if woken up from a nightmare, I found myself in a place whose comfort was just a distant memory. Its familiarity becoming sticky tar for my wings.
.
I busted the windows wide open; the stagnant air irked my nostrils. A deep breath was what I needed to gather the resolution I so desperately needed. Focusing on the distant lit buildings on the horizon, I let my thoughts wander. Despite being in the privacy of that hotel room, tears wouldn't flow freely, blocked by an insuperable wall of frustration.
With the tips of my fingers, i brushed my chest. The ache was still acute, rooted deeply inside of me.
All the memorable moments, hardships, laughs and happy memories. Everything good had to be thrown away along with regrets and missed opportunities. Nobody could give me back those miserable years I spent wondering if I was the problem, If I could make it all work and if I was even enough.
Like a stain on my favorite shirt, I just couldn't throw it all away.
My skin crawled at the thought of free-falling, of making myself vulnerable to failure again. Blinded by love and loyalty, I found myself betrayed.
.
I wouldn't let anyone else let me down like that again. With newfound courage, I finally made my decision.
"Hello. Yes. Please communicate to them that I no longer want to renew my contract with the company. Thank you, Ashley". The phone bounced at the feet of my bed after the sound of the call closing.
I should've felt victorious but, in my mouth, I couldn't taste any sweetness.
"Are you okay?", Harin's head popped behind the ajar door. Her sudden appearance took me back to reality.
"I did what I had to", I evaded the question. My gaze remained fixed on the buildings kissed by the warm sunlight. Deep down, I feared that if I turned around to look at her, I would've broken into a thousand million pieces.
The fragile Chaerin had no room in a life where people look up to the bold CL. I didn't allow myself to look vulnerable, like an irrational fear, I lived pretending to be unscathed. I picked up somebody else's pieces, but I wasn't sure If someone else was there to pick up mines.
"You don't have to go through this alone again. This is the start of a new chapter", my baby sis offered me comfort by slowly stroking my back. I just knew she smiled through her reassuring words.
She left the room, shortly after. My silence probably signaled to her that I needed some alone time.
.
I released myself on the soft duvet and noticed that the incense stick had finished burning. Restless, I turned around and faced the wall. Harin's preaching sparked something in me.
As I shut my eyelids, I immediately recalled that cold night. is accepting embrace gave me a novel feeling of safety. It was so genuine and unexpected, it made me forget for a moment the duty of keeping the CL mask on. Maybe opening up wasn't so bad with some people. The guys at DPR were friends I could trust with my life.
Time flew by so fast, I just realized six months had passed since the trip to Santorini.
Dialing that number right after promising myself to be more independent was like swimming upstream but I quickly resigned myself; he was probably the only person to be up in Korea at that hour.
The pauses after each and every ring back made my curiosity grow. In my mind, I prepared the list of stuff I wanted to know from him since our goodbye in Greece. How was he? Did he grow his hair as promised? Did he get rid of that stupid chair in his studio?
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"The number you have dialed is currently unavailable. Please try again later".
.
The operator's cold voice reverberated in the dead-quiet hotel room.
"What did I expect? It's 4AM in Korea", I chuckled at myself. I was being too optimistic.
Perhaps Ian had finally fixed his strange sleeping habits. Maybe he was sleeping. Maybe he was busy composing.
Despite all the reasonable justifications, I couldn't help but feel abandoned.
With a quick glance at the messages, I noticed we had stopped talking since I left for LA.
Must admit, a wild thought had jumped at the back of my head. What if he didn't want to talk to me?
"No, he'll surely call me back first thing in the morning", I immediately reassured myself, kicking those negative theories out of my system.
.
I measured my anguish by the number of calls that didn't go through.
Three.
.
I waited all day for you to call me back but you never did, Christian.
.
.
a.n. I really wanted to focus more on the counterpart of this story. Chaerin. That's why I decided to write shorter chapters. Is it angsty enough? I hope so. I have the next chapter to revise but it's nice to recover my footing. This fic is so meaningful to me. Thank you so much for the supportive comments, those encouraged me to spare some time to keep writing. We're getting nearer to the key part of this whole journey, hope you are ready! 
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previous chapter. ✵  next chapter. ✵ masterlist
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darawonplease · 2 years
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The rush.
The one that makes you wish you had three or four copies of you running around to get all finished.
The one that makes you live three completely different lives in the span of one.
A rush so good it reminds you how good it is to inhale the icy winter air until it stings your lungs.
I fed off of that rush, wondering if it would last.
✵ ch. 6 – maybe it took over.
「 ☾ Ian's POV?」
I finally took time to admire the everchanging colours of the sky: the warm sunrise that scanned time gradually became a pale shade of purple.
Routinely morning runs made me immune to the frigid November weather.
Nothing was better than clearing my thoughts with the view of the deserted shores of Han River, a feeling only rivalled by a motorbike ride.
I’ve always thought that being too busy was better than having too much time to overthink.
.
I brushed my hair up with my fingers to improve my focus. They had reached the point in which they almost became a hassle. I had almost convinced myself to cut them, just like some girls do after a breakup, but somehow it felt right to keep.
.
On a thin balance between peace and adrenaline, the oxymoron between the two statuses just made sense to me. That’s what I was on for a month.
Once on a streak, nothing could stop me.
I was high on life.
.
✵ ✵ ✵
.
“You’re early today too!”, Cream shouted from the studio entrance.
Admittedly, the neon yellow running shoes lying at the front door immediately gave out my presence.
.
Quietly, he took place beside me, curiosity getting the best out of him as he spied on the open project on my monitor.
“Put them on, I worked on this piece last night”, I handed him the black headphones as I checked the workspace one last time before playing the track.
.
With melody and lyrics already engraved in my brain, I limited myself to analyzing Cream’s subtle change in expressions, trying to get the most subtle hints of feedback.
.
His head surfed on the rhythm, not skipping a beat, proving again, how much of a musical genius he was.
“This is the song that gave you a hard time for months, right?”.
“That’s her”, I replied.
“I almost failed to recognize it, it’s been a long time. Didn’t think you’d manage to complete it, you’re finally out of your slump I se-“, Cream bit his lower lip, realizing he should’ve cut himself off sooner.
He perfectly knew how sensitive I was when talking about the creative block I suffered upon our return from Santorini.
“Well…Ian, that’s crazy good”, he removed the headphones from his ears, clearing his voice to dilute the slight tension in the air.
“What if we added an orchestra part, here and here”, I pointed out at the track timeline on the bright screen.
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A firm knock stopped the creative flow that was about to be freed in the humble little studio.
Scott’s familiar figure appeared behind the tinted glass door.
“Sorry to bother you guys. The clients are here”.
.
.
“Now, we could include some flashes of colours between this scene and the pool one to give more visual interest. Blue represents solitude and red expresses the passionate memories of him and his lovers”, I walked back and forth in front of the large slideshow projected on the wall behind me.
“That’s interesting. Keep developing the storyboard with this logic in mind then. We’ll brief next week to get started on the production If you agree”.
The lights turned on and the client representative gave us a gentle nod before exiting the conference room.
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Scott appeared in the corner of my eye with a pleased grin plastered on his face.
“Believe it or not but they’ve rejected all of our inputs before you took on the project”, he started to gather and organize the various storyboards scattered around the long white conference table.
I glanced at him, reactionless.
“Well done Ian, that’s what I meant”.
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✵ ✵ ✵
.
Things finally seemed to fall in place before my eyes.
The flashes and memories of the old Ian had to be just that, fleeting visions I soon planned to remove.
A cage. The four walls I called home became that, a place I was constantly reminded of the old me.
The Christian who’s a loser, who’s weak, who relies on others to stay afloat.
That’s why I tried to stay out of it whenever I could.
“What a useless fucker”.
I locked him in the past, dissociating myself from his failure and feeding onto the pity I felt for him to strive further.
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✵✵✵
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The pub’s invasive music had started to sound a bit like white noise.
Somehow, I managed to escape to a safe haven, the nasty bathroom at the back of the pub.
I washed my face in front of the yellow tinted mirror. There, a proud grin plastered on my lips I just couldn’t remove. Satisfaction took the form of a proud unremovable smirk on my lips.
.
But something was missing. The night would’ve been wasted having to drag Cream home.
The dimples behind her back became a constant image at the back of my brain like an intrusive thought.
.
[you]
You up?
I wanna see you.
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I had to admit, seeing my messages pile up one on top of another without reply hurt my ego, just a little.
“Ian, come here! Get your shot, quick”, Dabin nudged at me, taking me back to the table’s conversation.
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“To DPR’s rise from ashes!”, Scott raised a toast and we followed closely, loud glass clinking left and right.
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By surprise, I felt his hand wrapping around my shoulder, as a comradery gesture.
“I want to personally thank Christian for working extra hard, I’m grateful a great mind like you is on our team. It’s great to have you back”.
“Yes!”. “Well done!”.  “You’re the man Ian!”.
A choir of unanimous agreement rose up. I was surrounded by genuine smiles and validation.
.
The bitter liquor went down smoothly like water, I posed the shot glass onto the mahogany counter.
“Have you guys heard from Chae?”. Scott’s seemingly harmless question completely changed the direction of the conversation.
“I haven’t heard from her since our trip in Greece”, Dabin was the first to answer.
Scott slid his phone across the table, the bold title of the article took up one third of the bright screen.
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“CL CONFIRMS DEPARTURE FROM ** ENTERTAINMENT”.
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I immediately thought about the calls I ignored with such ease and shut my lips tight.
“I’m sure she left for LA so urgently to have one last fighting chance”, the expression under Scott’s baseball cap darkened.
“She must be devastated…”.
“I’ll get going guys”, I announced.
“You always leave when things just get started…”, Cream whined.
“Is it because of diner girl?”.
Dabin paused for a second, waiting for the reaction he hoped to cause.
The imperceptible grin under my wisp couldn’t escape his vigil eyes.
He continued, “It is! Yeah guys, leave him celebrate in his girl’s warm embrace!”.
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I made my way out in the middle of the mixed reactions Dabin provoked.
.
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The first signs of intoxication appeared with the wobbly sidewalk under my feet.
“Damn, you look rough”.
“Oh, do I?”, I raised an eyebrow at the girl sitting on the sidewalk, just a couple of feet further from me.
To me, it seemed like she didn’t lift her eyes from me once since I crossed the exit doors of the place.
“Want water? You look like someone who might need some”.
“Thanks”.
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Disheartened, I lit the cigarette between my lips as I waited for the girl with green sheets to reply.
“Hey!”, the girl with the striped sweater called for my attention, miming an ignited lighter as she kept the filter of the cigarette she was rolling in the corner of her mouth.
“Here, sure”. My throw was destined to miss the target, which was her hand forming a cup.
Like a volley player, she threw herself all the way towards the flying object, risking having the cold pavement as a safety net.
“Nice throw dude”, she mocked me before huffing.
I glanced again at the phone for the last time.
“Dude, she’s not into you. Cheer up, there’s no reason to be sad for a girl”.
My lack of reaction probably prompted her to change subject.
“I’m keeping this, by the way. Seems like a fair exchange to me”.
“Fair exchange? For that sip of water?”.
“Actually, it’s unfair. You needed the water waay more than I need this lighter”.
A more than satisfied grin made an appearance on her smug face, causing me to scoff.
.
“Ian? I thought you were gone”.
Dabin’s red beanie entered my vision as I turned towards the entrance.
“I’m going over to my friends, nice to meet you, Ian”, she shook the metal zippo, to mock me again before getting swallowed into the young crowd in front of the venue.
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Dabin quietly peered at the lighter thief and subtly tilted his head on the side, as if in deep thought.
“I swear I’ve seen her before…”, he mumbled.
.
He sat at my feet, on the cold sidewalk. A small cloud of vapor rose as he softly coughed and rubbed his hand together to fight November’s night breeze.
“Do you still remember when we used to dance in the middle of the street?”.
“How can I forget that Dabin…”.
“I used to be such a dumb kid who just moved to Korea. I knew nobody. I felt so lonely”.
“Dabin…”.
“Thank you for being there for me”.
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✵✵✵
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The ticking kept going on, mentally keeping me on my toes despite my relaxed appearance.
My throat choked up on the stagnant air of scrapped ideas and rejected drafts.
.
“What are you doing here at this hour?”
Scott struck me with a look of disapproval, but beneath it lied a hint of concern.
“You’re kind of worrying me, Christian. It’s like you don’t go home to sleep anymore”, he continued.
“I just can’t seem to satisfy those motherfuckers”. I finally replied to him.
“I told you, let’s see it together first thing in the morning”, he carefully approached me.
“No. I have to finish this”, my body shielded the monitor from Rem’s advance.
“What you really HAVE to do, is get some sleep. Come on, I’ll drive you home”.
“YOU CAN’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND”.
.
Red streaks filled my vision, and as I blinked away, I saw it.
My hand had Scott’s collar in a grip.
.
“What? Are you going to punch me just like you did with Dabin? Go on. Do so. I won’t simply let it slide as he did”.
I smashed him against the window cabinet, the same cabinet we so painstakingly filled with meaningful props, proofs of our achievements as a team.
Everything crashed down disastrously, years of joy and disappointment buried under the broken shards, now tinted with crimson red.
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His body dropped heavily as soon as I released the painful grip.
“Just… who are you? I can’t even recognize you Ian”, he didn’t dare look at me.
The answer lied between the glass fragments at my feet; a glimpse of my broken reflection was enough to finally realize it.
“I’m not him”.
.
I slumped against the door, holding the broken bearbrick the DPR guys and Chaerin gifted me for Christmas in my bruised hands.
“What If I go back to the old me tomorrow, what if I leave you on your own again? What If I become useless?”, my nervous fingers let go of the wrecked gift.
“Ian...let’s go home”, Scott implored in between painful groans.
I need to finish that before I…”, I stood up and staggered towards the blurry light of the monitor.
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“BAROM! REPLY TO ME! OPEN YOUR EYES, COME ON!”.
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I still can’t seem to remember exactly what happened after the loud thud.
No matter how much I tried to forget you in the past six months.
I just know that as my eyes filled with darkness, I followed a light.
And that light was you, Chaerin-i.
.
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A high only feels good when it doesn’t last long. Elated, you’re on top of the world. You’re capable of everything.
Then comes the aftermath.
With no warning, the very thing that brought you up so high, drops you into the pits of Earth.
Good luck coming out of it.
.
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a.n. It took me long enough but it’s here. I must say that the biggest enemy I faced was myself. And although it isn’t coming out as I wished at the very start, I learned to appreciate this fic, with all its flaws and pretty words. This chapter in particular had three or four different drafts that absolutely crushed me. Haha
Hope you like it!
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