Say what you want about Percy/Nico fans, but they have at least one thing going for them.

When Nico saw Percy at his scariest (decimating his father's army, defeating Hades and pinning Hades down with his leg and sword) Nico was stunned. Speechless. Not scared at all. One could even conclude that it was a massive gay moment for him.

When Annabeth saw Percy at his scariest (defending himself and Annabeth from Akhlys and trying to kill Akhlys) she was terrified of him. She cried. She begged him to promise her not to use that power (that just saved their lives) ever again.

If you don't love Percy at his worst (fighting and attempting to kill gods to protect you), then you don't deserve him at all.

Why Piper McLean is Useless

So there’s the whole debate about ‘Piper McLean is useless she does nothing’ and ‘Piper McLean isn’t useless she did so many things’ and all that.

Well I’m here to voice my personal opinion on it, and here it is- Piper is useless.

Not because she didn’t do anything, she did. She-

-Put Gaea to sleep with her charmspeak in the final battle -Defeated Khione and the Boreads  -Defeated Medea with her charmspeak and saved Jason and Leo -Killed a flock harpies -Saved Percy and Jason from killing each other -Saved Percy and Jason from drowning in the Nymphaeum -Saved Annabeth from Mimas in the Temple of Fear by convincing her to attack with ‘emotions’ (???) -Charmspoke the eidolons out of Percy, Jason, and Leo -Charmspoke the Gemini into revealing their true intentions and lead them to the giants -Saved Annabeth from being stabbed by Enceladus and charged at a group of giants -Put Gaea to sleep in the Wolf House -Awoke the Makhai to get an ingredient for the Physician’s Cure -Woke up Festus with just her voice -Defeated the giant Periboia

So the question is- after all this, why is Piper still useless? 

Well, because if you took her out of the series altogether, nothing would have changed. Let’s look back at her accomplishments I listed above, shall we?

-If she didn’t put Gaea to sleep with her charmspeak, Leo’s fire and the onager from Octavian still would’ve mixed and Gaea still would’ve been defeated, plus Festus had Gaea in the air so she couldn’t do anything anyways. All Piper really did was stop Gaea from yelling at the demigods. -She was the one to anger Khione and the Boreads in the first place, so if she was out of the picture it never would’ve happened. -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, and she also has charmspeak, so Medea would’ve been defeated either way. -Any demigod could kill a bunch of harpies, they’re not that powerful. -She was the one to lead Percy and Jason to Kansas in the first place, so if she was out of the picture they never would’ve fought each other. -She was the one to lead Percy and Jason to the Nymphaeum (despite literally seeing them drown and bringing them there anyways) so if she was out of the picture they never would’ve almost drowned.  -She was the one to lead Annabeth to the Temple of Fear in the first place so if she was out of the picture they never would’ve gotten attacked by Mimas. And of course it’d be hard for them to defeat Mimas they sent the two weakest demigods in the group lmao. -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, and she also has charmspeak, so the eidolons would’ve been forced out anyways or Hazel could’ve forced them out as they’re from the Underworld. -The demigods already knew the Gemini were up to something, so Piper’s charm-singing was pretty much dead weight to prove something already known and Hazel could’ve found the tunnels in the first place since they’re underground or she could’ve just created her own like she’s done so many times. -She was the one to lead Percy and Annabeth to the giants in the first place so if she was out of the picture they never would’ve gotten captured. -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, and she also has charmspeak, so Gaea would’ve been put back to sleep anyways. -Any sacrifice would’ve been enough to awaken the Makhai and either Frank or Hazel could’ve found them as Frank is the son of Mars and the Temple of Fear was underground.  -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, and she also has charmspeak, so Festus would’ve been woken anyways.  -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, so Periboia would’ve been defeated anyways. 

So...yeah. Erase Piper from the series, and literally nothing would’ve changed. Actually, things would’ve been much easier. She caused more problems and put the demigods in more life-threatening situations than Gaea herself did. That’s what makes her useless. Not only that, but because everything I listed was extremely unrealistic. How can Piper- a newbie who only trained with a sword for a few days, defeat a goddess by herself with a single stab, be on par with a giant in fencing, charge at any army of 10+ giants and not even get attacked while Percy and Annabeth did, put Gaea to sleep twice despite Gaea meeting all the loops and flaws of charmspeak, rival Medea- who’s been practicing charmspeak for thousands of years- etc.? Why should it count as Piper being powerful and strong if it makes no sense whatsoever and has no logical reasoning behind it? Remember- ‘fantasy’ and ‘unrealism’ are two different things. ‘Waking up a metal dragon with words’ and ‘Melting literal ice with love’ are things from My Little Pony, not Percy Jackson and Greek/Roman mythology 💀

And the fact that Riordan degraded Annabeth’s power, skill, bravery, intelligence, etc. just to make Piper look stronger, cooler, braver, smarter, and more powerful is literally disgusting. He really went ‘Peak feminism is downgrading one woman to make another look better’. Like honey no-

What I mean by that is the whole Mimas-Temple of Fear situation. Annabeth was facing all the fear she’s felt her whole life crashing into her at once, and I can agree that must’ve been terrifying, but Annabeth is supposed to be one of the strongest, bravest characters in the whole series, and fighting a giant while feeling afraid despite feeling that same way plenty of times before gets her falling to her knees and crying like a baby? And Piper- the newbie who has no idea what she’s actually talking about- toughens her up and helps her gather strength and courage??? Then saves Annabeth from being killed by Mimas three times despite Annabeth facing worse than him and having trained since she was six years old??? Excuse me??? Showing that even the strongest people need help sometimes is fine and honestly a great lesson, but Riordan flat-out destroyed all the strength and bravery he built up for Annabeth just to make Piper look cool. How do I know this? Because if Annabeth was with Percy, Jason, Leo, Hazel, Frank, or anyone besides Piper, she wouldn’t have broken down like that. Only when Piper is around does Annabeth turn weak, cowardly, and honestly- downright stupid. I mean- in The Lost Hero, Annabeth doesn’t notice the very-obvious human footprints on the threshold of the Hera cabin, but Piper does? And Annabeth is nervous- even scared- to walk inside of a cabin that obviously has a human, not a monster, inside of it, but Piper walks in without hesitation? And Percy and Annabeth- the two apparently most powerful demigods- are captured by the giants while Hazel’s Mist is being used on them, but Piper is the only one who isn’t (and the Mist is powerful enough to mask the scents of demigods as well) and has to save them again? And then Piper faces off 10+ twenty-foot giants and none of them even bother attacking her, instead staring down at a 5′5″ little girl with a big icicle who’s threatening to destroy them all (and they actually get intimidated)??? If Piper wasn’t included in the series, none of that would’ve happened. While Annabeth was following the Mark of Athena, she did everything on her own with no problem, faced her worst fear in the most disgusting, terrible form possible, almost died for the hundredth time, fell into Tartarus- which is way worse than the Temple of Fear, faced Tartarus himself in his physical form, etc. and she still held her ground. But the moment Piper comes along, all of that disappears for no reason. That my friends, is what we call sexist. 

And that is why Piper is useless. Not because she didn’t do anything, but because everything she did was extremely unrealistic and had no logical reasoning behind it and was just added in to make her look good while she did everything with absolutely no effort, struggle, or mistakes, everything she did had no impact whatsoever and could’ve easily been done by another demigod (and more quickly and efficiently may I add), and cause if you took her out of the series, nothing would’ve changed (and things would’ve been done a lot faster and easier). 

But, because I ranted about Piper, it’s only fair that I call out the others as well. AKA Percy, Jason, and Annabeth were also useless, Frank, Nico, and Hazel honestly didn’t do much, and Leo and Reyna were the only ones who actually did anything and contributed to the plot. 

And yeah thanks for coming to my TED Talk.