My new favorite thing is referring to all in-game currency as dollars, no matter what game. This is closely followed by describing all crowns, helmets, and headwear as hats. I kill a lot of enemies with weird hats and sometimes they have $7 and a biscuit in their pockets.

Being a cleric of Mystra and romancing Gale is insane. I feel so bad for my tav, she’s out here trying to serve her goddess as best she can and she has the unfortunate luck of meeting and falling in love with Mystra’s ex-boytoy. She can’t decide whether to try to sleep with him or murder him. On the one hand, she’s got a crush and doesn’t want him to blow up, on the other hand she’s fully disturbed by this man’s flippant descriptions of his sex life with her goddess and constant heresies. She’s got six migraines and none of them are from the tadpole.

The emperor: I have been with you since the very beginning. I have saved you countless times at no small cost to myself. You must trust me

My tav: yes but you see I’m not a fan of Your Vibes.

Honestly, I think that @abalidoth and @wishuponastarion need to start recording and/or posting our Baldur’s gate conversations because our group chat is becoming increasingly unhinged and we have to inflict this on other people too

I’m one of those people who save scums like a crazy person, and sometimes I think “oh, I’m not playing this game properly, I need to accept the consequences of my choices” and then I remember that it’s my game and I do what I want

Why is steam telling me I’ve played bg3 for 5,112 hours

I’m wheezing, girl that’s the most savage shit I’ve ever heard. I break into his house, sleep with his concubine, steal all his favorite stuff, and then have the audacity to critique his sexual prowess. I cannot deal.

Join me as I quicksave, roll, and reload 400 times to get one (1) snarky dialogue option

This next tav is a durge which is fine but I named her Fidrildi because it sounds cool and then I remembered that I based that name on fiðrildi, the Icelandic word for butterfly, which is probably not the most apt name for my waifish murderous half drow barbarian.

This might be the best gear description I’ve ever seen

My tav is a cleric of Talos this time around, and she and Shadowheart are really bonding over our evil deities. The only big difference is that while Shar wants to tear everything down and make the world dark and lonely, Talos wants to tear everything down and then set it on fire and maybe blow some of it up and make fun of the people who get hurt. Obviously this is an excellent life’s mission for me, the protagonist, who’s supposed to be saving the world or whatever.

There’s only two places on the map (so far) that you meet Raphael, so if you don’t go to either of those locations for a while you, like me, are lulled into a false sense of security and when he pops up he will scare the shit out of you, causing you to shriek like a six year old girl as if you’ve never met the wretched little man before

I’ve put Astarion into the graceful cloth armor, and while it’s super handy it makes him look so slutty and it’s killing me. Sir I know you’re talking about ascension and killing people and all sorts of serious things, but your hips are showing in your little crop top and I can’t take you seriously. Every time I manage to forget there’s a cut scene and he looks so ridiculous I want to smack him. I cannot deal.

For character bingo: Rolan.

Love of my life. My beloved he/him lesbian. Sir I adore you even though your hair is wretched.

I decided in my drunken brilliance last night to make a list of all the rude things people say in bg3, which is all well and good, but this morning I woke up to a note on my phone that says SLURS in huge bold caps and good lord what a way to wake up

Baldur’s Gate is excellent because I keep saying “let’s go kids” which is probably not the correct term for a group of fairly murderous adults